


Grasping Water

by NorthernSong



Series: Grasping Water [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 20:00:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 167
Words: 294,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6921010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthernSong/pseuds/NorthernSong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 100 story that shows Lexa didn't need to die. Lexa survives the gunshot but she and Clarke must battle against all odds to stop Ontari and ALIE. Tensions spill over with the 100 and Clarke struggles to cope with the trauma she has faced, while Lexa tries to remind her that life is about more than just surviving.</p>
<p>From Chapter 16, s3 has concluded and Lexa and Clarke embark on a desperate plan to try to save everyone from the threat of radiation. Bellamy chooses his own path against Lexa and the Grounders. Octavia takes the mantle of Chancellor with deadly results and Clarke begins to realise that peace may be an impossible dream. </p>
<p>*Major character deaths*, *Clexa endgame*</p>
<p>Also available at: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11954262/1/Grasping-Water</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Twist of Fate

Clarke pulled on her clothes, resigned to leaving. Octavia was no doubt waiting and Clarke had to admit that she had resented Octavia's words earlier. Octavia was going back to Lincoln while she was forced from Lexa. She had dreaded coming to Polis. She'd stayed firmly within Trikru lands when she was in self imposed Exile from Arkadia, and had desperately tried to avoid detection, not just from the Ice Queen but in case there was any remote chance Lexa would seek her. She had been so caught up in her doubts and confusion over everything that had taken place but even then she had known had she ever come here, she would be forced to leave and that she would resent it.

Clarke felt a slender finger run lightly over her clothed back and she turned to offer Lexa a sad smile.

'I'll get ready and see you off,' Lexa offered quietly and Clarke nodded in response.

Clarke rose and headed for her room, postponing when she would have to say goodbye. It was all too familiar to be in Lexa's presence and find that there was so much to say, and yet there was that horrendous fear that everything would break if anything was uttered. The only thing to do was to turn to their duties. It was only her responsibility that could make her move at all. Polis had become the closest thing she'd ever had to a home. On the Ark, she'd loved her family dearly, but living in space had been claustrophobic. They were marked as a generation that was to simply exist and maintain life on the station. They were never supposed to live and thrive on the Earth but here they were and in Polis she was free.

Clarke entered her quarters to be met with a battered Murphy.

'Murphy?' Clarke questioned fearfully but she saw Murphy's eyes wide and focused behind her, and spun on her heel.

'Titus-' Titus held a gun directly at her and she knew the great Wanheda was staring at death.

'Titus-' Clarke began, holding up her hands, 'I'm leaving right now with Octavia...'

Pleas wouldn't work and she knew it. Titus was resolute. Clarke could have cried in frustration. She'd been so focused on Arkadia and Pike being their threat, she had never imagined Titus would go to such lengths. She knew what Titus was thinking. She could see the same expression that she knew she had worn when she had shot Dante, the one that was so absent when she was presented with the possibility of executing Quint. She saw his hand clench around the gun and threw herself out of the way, just dodging the shot that echoed through the tower.

Titus moved forward as he shot, while Clarke kept launching herself across the room, counting for when the gun would be out. Footsteps boomed from the outside corridor and the door launched open just as Clarke dived to its side while another shot ripped through the room. Clarke saw the horror in Titus's eyes and she knew what sight would greet her as she turned around.

Lexa stumbled forward, black blood pooling from her abdomen. Clarke grabbed her and carried her to the bed, in a haze.

'Bandages!' Clarke screamed. 'Murphy, I have a medkit in my bottom drawer, get it!'

Titus hurried to Clarke with any cloths he could find and Clarke snatched them away from him. She heard Murphy struggling free and him grabbing the medicine and equipment for her. She rolled Lexa over briefly and let out a shaky breath of relief that the bullet had at least passed through. Clarke turned back to Lexa, finally daring to look into her eyes but she had to fight her own tears at the fear she saw there.

'Don't worry. I can fix this. I can fix you.' Clarke reassured her in a choked voice while Lexa nodded, her gaze resolute, already accepting any fate that awaited her.

Clarke removed the bandages briefly that had been keeping pressure to examine the wound and grabbed her kit, grateful that there was some coagulant left and she tipped it into Lexa's mouth, who swallowed with a slight cough.

' _You will never again attempt to hurt Clarke'_

Clarke felt Titus behind her but still refused to acknowledge him. Even now, Lexa still managed to give orders with more strength than anyone she knew.

'Don't be afraid, Clarke.' Lexa reassured her and Clarke had to drag her eyes up to meet Lexa's. 'The next Commander will protect you.'

Desperate fury coursed through her. Clarke wanted to scream. How could Lexa still not understand?

'I don't want the next Commander!' Clarke vehemently insisted. 'I want you!'

She choked over the words. Clarke couldn't bear it. Lexa still believed she only cared about the damn title of 'Heda'. _Please not Lexa. I already lost Finn._ _I can't lose Lexa._

'You were right, Clarke,' and Clarke's eyes snapped up to meet Lexa's, 'life is about more than just surviving.'

Clarke had forgotten those words herself because survival was all that she had come to hope for.

_Please, just let Lexa survive and that will be all I need_.

Tears spilled freely now and Clarke bent to give Lexa a tender kiss to convey all of the things she felt but couldn't say. She felt Lexa still beneath her. Clarke shot up quickly. Lexa continued to breathe but she had finally lost consciousness. Clarke pulled back the bandages once more but they were not as soaked as she had expected. The medicine was working in slowing the bleeding and Clarke examined the wound. Clarke grabbed her kit and began to repair the damage quickly, ignoring Titus and Murphy sharing looks that showed just how lost they all felt.

* * *

_She contemplated whether to bother with her hood, for she was sick of the comments about the Mountain although she didn't particularly feel like wandering the streets like a shadow, but Clarke was abruptly brought out of her thoughts as she almost knocked into Titus on her way down the corridor._

_'Clarke, where are you going?' Lexa questioned, eyes curious._

_'To look around Polis...I can leave, right? I'm not a prisoner anymore?' Clarke asked quickly, eyes narrowed._

_'Of course,' Lexa nodded, stepping forward, 'why don't you join me for breakfast. I can show you around Polis before Queen Nia is brought here?'_

_'Heda, there might not be enough time-' Titus began but Lexa cut him off._

_'They won't be back for several hours yet and Queen Nia will be a prisoner. She can wait.' Lexa dismissed._

_Clarke eyed the Commander for a moment but Lexa seemed as stoic as ever. She didn't particularly feel like an excursion with Lexa around Polis was a great idea but she sensed no hidden agenda. It would perhaps be the first time they'd ever truly spent together without some threat hanging over them. Clarke nodded and Lexa dismissed Titus and led the way to her chamber. Clarke did not miss the fact it was on the same floor as her quarters. The table was already full of food and Lexa indicated for Clarke to take a chair. After twenty minutes, Clarke had only picked at some fruit and Lexa watched her softly._

_'Not hungry?'_

_'I'm not really a morning person.' Clarke said simply._

_'I've been told that you've been up at dawn every morning.' Lexa replied, although her tone was questioning and not contradictory._

_'Spying on me?'_

_'If I had, I would have known about the knife.'_

_Clarke shifted uncomfortably but Lexa was wearing one of her small smiles that made Clarke snap her gaze away, and look around the rest of the room._

_'I can't sleep much.' Clarke admitted after a few moments of silence._

_'After the Mountain?'_

_'The Mountain, the war, the dropship, my father...all of it.' Clarke murmured._

_There had been a time when Clarke had comforted Charlotte in the night as she was taunted by her own memories of death. It felt circular to Clarke; she had so scorned Charlotte for what she had did to Wells and now she couldn't even count how many people she had killed._

_Lexa shifted forward slightly in her chair._

_'You are safe here, Clarke.'_

_Clarke nodded and blinked back tears._

_'So are we going around Polis or not?' Clarke asked with a slight smile._

_Lexa bowed her head in acquiescence and led them down to the city beneath. Two guards followed them at a short distance although neither Lexa nor Clarke paid any attention to them. Clarke looked around greedily. It had been an odd kind of torment to want absolutely no company while shut away and yet being so envious of the life that everyone led below her. Polis was, without doubt, beautiful. The people here were just trying to make their way in life with what they had and without the threat of war looming over their head. At least if Azgeda could be controlled, Clarke thought. They had been told that the ground was uninhabited and yet no place could possibly feel more alive to Clarke. The city was bursting with people, as carts came and went and the laughter of families dominated the area. There were different stalls that held food, alcohol and clothing. Clarke had spent so long in isolation, first on the Ark and then by her own fleeing from Arkadia, that she suddenly felt slightly self conscious to be in such a casual setting. Clarke remained largely silent but would murmur her interest occasionally when Lexa pointed out something about the city or filled her in on some of Grounder history. She knew Lexa was trying. The vow of fealty the night before had left Clarke completely speechless. She'd barely had the capacity to think to help Lexa up, but some things were still raw._

_She had spent three months replaying Lexa walking away from her on the Mountain while she had begged her to stay and she was also consumed by guilt. She knew she should only care about the lives she had taken, especially for Maya's and the pain she had caused Jasper, but she was also in agony because Lexa had left. She was ashamed to admit her humiliation and heartbreak and although she thought she could read Lexa's intentions well, she wondered if one day Lexa would see her as expendable again. The second she had arrived in Polis she had heard Lexa break her deal with Roan. Well, he shouldn't take it personally, Clarke thought._

_Clarke noticed Lexa become steadily quieter so she chanced a look at her companion. She didn't sense nerves and Lexa was walking with such purpose she must have had some specific destination in mind. Actually, Lexa looked almost hopeful and that just filled her with dread as they carried on. She wondered what on Earth Lexa had in store to show her. Not one of the customs she'd seen the Grounders go through thus far had been happy occasions._

_After a quarter of a mile, Lexa turned to Clarke and she was positively beaming which only alarmed Clarke further._

_'I think you might enjoy this.' Clarke, baffled, followed Lexa around the next corner to be met with an entire square of Grounders with easels before them._

_Clarke opened her mouth to speak but couldn't think of what to say so promptly closed it again._

_'The artists, musicians and dancers come here, when the weather permits, each day until sunset. Hundreds of paintings are created every day. Would you like to see their works?' Lexa asked._

_Clarke was stunned that Lexa had even remembered her one reference to the fact she liked art. It had been the evening of the great Gorilla chase (as Raven had called it and a day she largely tried to forget about). Lexa barely even knew her then and had taken a great deal of time to explain to Clarke exactly why she was weak and flawed. Lexa seemed so sincerely happy that she could take Clarke to this one place that she might enjoy that the bitterness Clarke had desperately held onto seemed to fall away. She hadn't seen art so beautiful since when she was inside Mount Weather..._

_'Dante did this.' Clarke said sharply and even she was taken aback by the abrupt return of that memory, and Lexa looked downright scared at this reaction._

_'Excuse me?' Lexa asked, clearly bewildered._

_'He showed me his paintings. My people told him I liked art and he used it to try to manipulate me.' Clarke spoke so quietly she didn't even know if Lexa had heard her._

_She detested those memories the most. The one where the Mountain Men revealed their humanity because it just brought back the guilt of what she had done. It was easier to think of them of monsters. I'm the monster now, Clarke thought, I am become Death, the great Wanheda._

_'I am not conducting a trick to manipulate you, Clarke.' Lexa said directly and softly. 'I understand your struggle to trust me but I am not lying to you and nor would I.'_

_'You did.' Clarke spat, and closed her eyes briefly in frustration because the last thing she wanted was to go down that path._

_Lexa's brows furrowed for a second._

_'If you are referring to Octavia, I did not agree-'_

_'I'm not talking about that!' Clarke replied hotly. 'I'm talking about the missile!'_

_Her last sentence was a seething whisper and she looked around to make sure nobody was paying them any attention._

_Lexa led them to a shaded corner that was out of the way and then turned to face Clarke._

_'How did I lie about the missile?'_

_And Clarke was pleased to hear that Lexa sounded angry at such an accusation. Good; she didn't want Lexa to plead her way out of this._

_'You said that you couldn't let me die from the missile in TonDC, that you could let everyone else burn but not me, and then you took all of your people and left me on the Mountain to die!' Clarke hissed, and she jumped slightly on the spot in anger, her composure forgotten._

_'I didn't-' Lexa began._

_'You kissed me and then left me to die!' Clarke struggled not to shout and she wanted to curse herself for being so weak; she never wanted to discuss what had happened in the tent._

_'I didn't lie.'_

_'You told me-'_

_'I didn't think you would get through the door!' Lexa snapped._

_'You-what?' Clarke faltered._

_'I didn't leave you to die- I left your people that were already captured.' Lexa clarified quickly before Clarke could interrupt. 'I thought you would be safe outside, that there would be no way in without my army and that you would be forced to turn back.'_

_'You didn't think I'd be able to get through the door?' Clarke repeated, aghast and with her pride stung._

_'How would I have expected that?' Lexa replied, not keeping the irritation out of her voice._

_'You just thought I'd walk back to Arkadia and the Mountain Men would stop attacking us?'_

_'They had what they needed.'_

_'My people!'_

_'Clarke-' Lexa groaned, frustration clearly clouding her voice._

_'So you just left my people to die?' Clarke scoffed at the idea that was supposed to console her._

_'I underestimated. As I said, clearly you didn't need my help.'_

_And Clarke swore there was a hint of anger there that Clarke had been able to do it without her which both infuriated her and made her slightly smug. Yet Clarke still wondered._

_'If you had known that I would still get inside the Mountain, what would you have chosen?' Clarke asked slowly but before Lexa could answer she cut across. 'Actually, no, do not answer that. I know already and I don't want to hear it.'_

_Clarke shook her head in defiance but she felt as if she were trying to cast any pent up emotions and memories from haunting her once more. Clarke stepped back from Lexa slightly and Lexa watched her silently. Clarke hated that it was so hard to argue with someone so composed._

_'I wouldn't have.' Clarke said quietly. 'I wouldn't have taken the deal. I've thought about it a lot but I couldn't have left you. I'd have stayed just because you were my friend and you had asked me to help.'_

_'I know,' Lexa admitted._

_Clarke dared to look at Lexa once more but found her as impossible as ever to read. Did Lexa believe that because she was aware of how much of a hothead she was and that loyalty was so important to her or did she believe it to be because of what they had shared? That was something Clarke was never going to ask._

_'Come on,' Clarke relented, turning away._

_Clarke carried on, through the artist square and Lexa followed silently. They would pause every so often while Clarke examined some painting or sketch. She longed for her sketch book but she had left it in Arkadia. She knew she could probably get one here but a part of her was afraid of what she'd end up creating. She used to draw her friends, her mother, Finn, even Lexa but now images of the Mountain were seared to her mind. Art might not be an escape for her anymore as it was when she was incarcerated on the Ark. It could just make her feel more trapped by all the things that she had done._

_'When Finn...' Clarke's voice broke over the words slightly, '...there was supposed to be a death ritual. Lincoln had told me. He said it started with fire-' Lexa nodded, unsure of where this was heading. 'If the Ice Nation had captured me, what would Nia have done to take Wanheda's power?'_

_Lexa's eyes widened at the question but Clarke kept looking at the pictures scattered around but Lexa could tell how important this was to her for how rigid she stood._

_'It does not matter now.' Lexa whispered._

_Clarke stood straight and turned to face Lexa. It pained her that the Ice Queen had killed Lexa's love and in such a brutal way. Lexa had said that she had wanted her to be safe, but she didn't know if Lexa's concerns were with Clarke Griffin or Wanheda. Clarke tried to keep her face impassive and snap back out of thoughts which would lead nowhere helpful for all she would end up wondering yet again would be whether she would have left Costia at the Mountain._

_'I won't ask for mercy.' Clarke stated, but her voice trembled. 'If you think that I will hesitate, like I did with Quint, I won't. I'm not that person anymore.'_

_Lexa gave the briefest of nods and Clarke hesitated a moment before speaking. 'Will it help when she dies?'_

_Lexa titled her head subtly and swiftly, questioning._

_'After Costia' Clarke elaborated. 'Will it bring you peace when Nia dies?'_

_Lexa looked as though she was considering every possible answer._

_'The dead are gone, Clarke,' Lexa reminded her softly, 'but Nia has no intention of stopping her quest for power over the coalition. While she lives, your life is in danger.'_

_'Because of Wanheda?' Clarke asked and once more Lexa looked as though she was choosing her words carefully._

_'Yes, and because of our...alliance.'_

_Clarke didn't forget the first personal thing that Lexa had ever revealed to her. Costia was taken simply because Lexa cared for her. She supposed that should have warned her off in the first place and she was certain that some gossip had likely made its way to Nia. It had been no secret how often the two were in each other's company while planning the attack against the Mountain, and it had not gone unnoticed by many in TonDC that Clarke had remained by Lexa's side and seemed so unscathed when many leaders of the clans had to be dug out of rubble after the missile attack._

_'Why did you want Skaikru to join the Coalition?' Clarke asked finally. 'It would only incite her further. Nobody wants us here-'_

_'I do.' Lexa stated simply._

_Clarke could not bring herself to mention Indra's words from earlier in the week. She was too scared to find out any other revelations today, particularly when Lexa continued to stare at her so earnestly. Clarke struggled not to smile as Lexa continued to stare and she had to turn away, shaking her head slightly which only made Lexa chuckle softly, all tension broken if only for a second._

_Beyond Lexa, Clarke caught a glimpse of a black women in her early fifties she had not seen since her days on the Ark. Clarke laughed in malevolent disbelief. Lexa turned quickly and looked around frantically at the source of Clarke's sudden change in mood._

_'Son of a bitch.' Clarke breathed._

_'What is it?' Lexa demanded._

_'Oh, I am going to enjoy this. Follow me.' Clarke told her._

_They walked quickly over to the woman's stall. Her hair was a lot longer than when Clarke had last come across her on the Ark but she certainly hadn't changed beyond that, given how she was just dismissing some other poor soul who she had no doubt conned._

_'Nigel.' Clarke greeted with a sly smile._

_'Clarke! It's so good to see you!' Nigel cried. 'The rumours going around about the great Wanheda, you wouldn't believe!'_

_'Not if they came from your lips.' Clarke bit and Nigel quickly lost her smile. 'Yeah, Raven told me all about what you did to her mother...and how you planned to have my mother floated.'_

_At this information, Lexa stepped forward rapidly but Clarke placed a placating hand on her arm for a second to signal her control over the situation. Nigel looked panic stricken as she took in Lexa, and the guards behind her._

_'Your mother-'_

_'Was a fool for trusting you. What are you selling now, Nigel? This looks like medical equipment taken from Arkadia.' Clarke said, picking up medicines and wiring that Clarke knew was being used as stitches. 'Stealing from your own people, Nigel? From medical?'_

_'These items-'_

_'Belong to me now, unless you wish for Lexa's guards to arrest you which I'm very close to having them do anyway.'_

_Nigel looked thunderstruck but Clarke had to bite down a laugh at the fact that for once, Nigel had no retort. She had no comeback. It was quite satisfying really to get one up on somebody who lived off conning everyone else. Nigel clearly wasn't going to doubt Clarke after the stories that had gone around about her. The title of 'Commander of Death' was enough to scare most people. Clarke didn't want to be pushed though. If Nigel was arrested for stealing medical supplies she could be held responsible for any deaths that should have been prevented had the medical equipment not been stolen. Blood must have blood, but Clarke was sick of the sight of it. Clarke gathered up the items one by one while Nigel looked on in horror._

_'Still think you're better than all of us?' She spat._

_'Not one bit.' Clarke replied._

_'You'll pay in this life.' Nigel scoffed._

_'Clearly you are paying now if this is your life. It's sad to see you in this state, Nigel. I just know how much you loved the Ark. People trapped, just trying to survive on basic rations. There was always someone for you to exploit. Now you've lost your power. You'll never survive here. You fed off bullying and exploiting any person unfortunate enough to run into you. You loved the Ark, Nigel. Everyone has to love something, I suppose.' Clarke sighed._

_'Everybody does.' Nigel snorted with an obvious look at Lexa._

* * *

 Clarke had finished Lexa's sutures and could have thanked any god that existed that she had bumped into Nigel that day and been able to take those supplies.

Lexa was still unconscious, but she had no fever and the bleeding had stopped. Clarke didn't know how having black blood would impact her recovery. She'd lost a lot of blood but she wasn't certain if it made any difference having black blood or not. She'd not once experienced any luck on the ground so far though.

Titus had left a while ago and Murphy was sitting quietly on the floor. She'd briefly checked him over. He was in a ghastly state but there was nothing serious. She shuddered to think at the torture he had once again endured. Murphy seemed to hold no personal animosity towards her despite the fact that he had been tortured for information on her. Clarke couldn't blame him for anything he might have said. In his boat, she didn't know what she would do.

She glanced down at Lexa, who almost looked peaceful. Clarke felt a tear roll down her cheek and she tried to take a deep steadying breath.

'She's going to be okay.' Murphy spoke from his corner.

Clarke smiled and nodded. She couldn't manage much more than that.

Titus burst through the door and both Clarke and Murphy jumped to their feet.

'You have to take Lexa.' Titus demanded and Clarke looked to Murphy but his face told her he was just as bewildered.

'Ontari knows about Lexa's state and she has killed the Nightbloods...she cut off Aden's head.'

Clarke's head was swimming. Aden. It couldn't be true, and she did not trust Titus.

'How is she even here? Lexa said she wouldn't be back until after her conclave? Lexa's not dead!'

'Ontari has not been far. The policy of 'blood must not have blood' has caused tension. You saw how one of Trikru tried to kill Lexa today. Ice Nation has been waiting for this. Roan was loyal to Lexa but Ontari is not and she is the remaining Nightblood. She wants the Flame.'

'She's Ice Nation, trained by a monster. Lexa would never want her as Commander even if-' Clarke trailed off.

'Lexa is too weak, she is not safe now and the guards themselves are not loyal. They will help Ontari finish the job.'

Regret washed over her as she remembered how Roan had bought the guards off. Perhaps she should have told Lexa who had given her the knife.

'You are the one who shot her.' Clarke raged.

'And now I am saving her.' Titus whispered and pulled out a box wrapped in fabric before bending to Lexa and turning her head, before slicing into her neck.

Clarke roared in anger and horror but Titus held her back calmly. Black blood trickled down and then an object with spindly legs dropped out of Lexa's neck and Titus quickly placed it in the box.

'What the hell?' Murphy muttered. 'An AI?'

Clarke didn't have a clue what was going on.

'It is the Flame. Lexa warned me of this when she discovered Ontari. She was worried of Ice Nation's tactics and that any conclave would not be respected. It is against tradition but Lexa is the bravest and most wise commander I have served. This ensures that both Lexa and the Flame are safe. You must leave with both.'

The spirit of the Commander chose the successor...the commanders lived on in Lexa...it was an AI. The dreams Lexa had were real.

'Is she really still in there too?'

'Of course she is.'

It was the first time Clarke had ever heard Titus speak so tenderly.

'Can that be put back in Lexa?' Clarke asked.

'I do not know. It takes on the blood. It is supposed to receive a new Commander each time. Anyone without black blood who tries to take it is killed. Nobody with black blood has ever tried to take it twice.'

'Who survived the last conclave? What happened to the last initiate?' Clarke demanded.

'Luna...she fled. She was a coward and betrayed the Flame and her people.' Titus dismissed.

'But she's the only one left who could safely take it. If Ontari has already gotten to the Nightbloods...to Aden...Luna is the only one.'

'Then go to her. Take Lexa and go.' Titus urged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, this will closely follow s3 until 16 and then it takes on a completely original take of what should be for season 4 and beyond. Please feel free to skip ahead. This was included purely so people didn't ask "what happened with Lexa then?" and so there was some flow and people weren't baffled. That's why I included on the fic summary that season 3 has concluded from chapter 16.


	2. Bitter Conclusions

'Where the hell have you been?' Octavia hissed.

'Titus told us to - is that Lexa?' Octavia asked incredulously as Clarke carried the still unconscious Commander in her arms.

Indra and Octavia had been waiting by the horses, and Clarke had just left Murphy. She couldn't understand why he wanted to stay but then he didn't have much to return to, she figured.

'What have you done to her?' Indra demanded, brandishing her blade.

'I saved her life.' Clarke retorted harshly. 'While you were feeling sorry for yourself and left her and Trikru when they needed you.'

'What happened?' Octavia asked through gritted teeth and stepping between the pair.

'There's been a coup. Ontari is after the Flame and it isn't safe here. I'm taking Lexa with us and we're going to end this situation with Pike once and for all. Then we find Luna.' Clarke panted as she lifted Lexa onto the horse, then jumped up behind her.

'Luna?' Octavia asked in wonder.

'A Nightblood who can take the Flame.' Clarke explained curtly.

Clarke didn't wait to see if Indra and Octavia followed as she urged her horse on but the feet of two thundering horses behind her told her she would have some company.

They rode on throughout the night, only slowing or stopping when Clarke needed to check Lexa's wounds to make sure the ride had not reopened the stitches. Lexa was largely peaceful but as dawn welcomed them she began to stir. Clarke murmured reassurances and comfort to her. They would not be long.

'Clarke! It's Miller!' Octavia shouted and they all slowed their horses to a trot while Octavia answered the radio.

'Octavia, Bellamy knows Harper and I have been working with you. Kane, Sinclair and Lincoln have been sentenced to death. Bellamy says he wants to help. He's going to the dropship and wants you to meet him.'

Octavia had turned white as Miller had told her about Lincoln's sentence and barely stammered out her thanks.

'There's a cave not far from here. I'll get Bellamy and bring him there and you can check on Lexa.' Octavia answered. 'Indra go with her. I can take care of Bellamy.'

Octavia told her the details of where to go and they quickly parted ways. Clarke didn't dare think of the death sentences. They would find a way, they always did. She carried Lexa into the depths of the cave, while Indra swiftly gathered wood and started a fire. Clarke muttered her thanks as she checked on Lexa.

'Where are we?' Lexa croaked.

Even in the soft glow of the fire she looked pale and there were beads of sweat coating her face but her green eyes still held their burning intensity.

'Near Arkadia. Ontari...' Clarke trailed off not knowing how to tell Lexa about Aden and the other Nightbloods but Lexa simply nodded and Clarke knew that she understood.

'How are you feeling?'

'It hurts...' Lexa gave a soft smile.

'This is a bit more serious than when you fell outrunning Pauna.'

'You saved me then too.' Lexa noted.

'Yeah, and after that moment of grace can you really blame me for doubting you against Roan?' Clarke asked, quirking a brow while Lexa fixed her a hard stare that was laced with amusement.

'As difficult as this will be for you, try not to move around too much.' Clarke requested gently.

'Octavia is back.' Indra called from the entrance of the cave and ran to greet her.

The pair of them dragged Bellamy, who was unconscious, and tied him to the wall. Clarke did not turn to look at him.

'We need to find a way in.' Octavia declared hurriedly.

'If Kane, Sinclair and Lincoln are going to be executed then they will be waiting for someone to disrupt their deaths.' Indra commented.

'Good, we can use that.' Clarke said, standing up. 'We can draw their attention away and get them out while they aren't looking.'

'Clarke, if you get caught-' Lexa started but Clarke pleaded with her.

'I can't let them be killed.'

'She won't be alone.' Octavia insisted and Clarke knew there was no way Octavia would consider staying behind as long as Lincoln's life was at stake.

Bellamy grunted as he woke. He looked down at the chains and launched himself up pulling against them. He swore in anger and his eyes widened in shock at seeing Clarke and the injured Lexa.

'It was a mistake to bring him here.' Indra commented, noticing the hatred his eyes held for Lexa.

'He was out the whole way and I searched him for bugs.' Octavia confirmed.

Clarke reeled at how they were all so broken. They were supposed to be the hundred, sent down together, bound together. Bellamy and Octavia had always so fiercely loved each other beyond anything and anyone else. She struggled to comprehend how they had all been brought to this point.

'Do you think I'd let them hurt you?' Bellamy muttered desperately.

'Shut your mouth.' Indra spat.

Octavia tried to soothe her but to no avail.

'You two are wasting time. You should be at Arkadia by now.'

Clarke nodded.

Lexa struggled to stand up but Clarke pushed her gently down and smiled at her.

'I'll be okay.'

'No, it's suicide.' Bellamy replied. 'Pike will be expecting it. You won't get close but I can. We can save them but we have to work together.'

'You're the reason they need saving.' Octavia cut across, and Clarke had never heard her so angry or disappointed, even after their confrontation about the missile.

There was only disgust in Octavia's eyes and Bellamy recognised it for he blinked back tears.

'Maybe,' he admitted 'but that doesn't change the fact that you need me.'

Octavia looked as though she was having great difficulty in restraining from attacking her brother.

'For the first time in my life that's not true.'

'O!'

Octavia walked out and Clarke went to follow.

'Clarke! You can't let her do this!' Bellamy shouted.

'I'm going with her to save them.' She said quietly, not turning to face him.

'I'm trying to protect you! I'm trying to protect all of us!' Bellamy shouted and he glanced at Lexa again, distrust etched on every inch of his face and Clarke finally turned to face him.

'Let me ask you something, Bellamy,' Clarke said, struggling to keep her voice from breaking, 'if the grounders are as violent as you say they are, what did you think would happen to me when you murdered three hundred allies sent to protect us?'

Bellamy looked bewildered.

'Because I was with them, the entire time. If they are so bloodthirsty did you consider my safety with such an action? Or deep down did you know that they weren't like that? That Lexa wouldn't let them hurt me? So which is it, did you just not care or did you know they weren't the monsters you claim them to be and yet slaughtered them anyway?'

Clarke didn't wait for an answer as Bellamy continued to gape, and she sped after Octavia but Indra grabbed her arm as she reached the tunnel exit.

'I'll watch Heda, you look over Octavia.'

* * *

 

_Clarke sat on the floor with her back against the wall._

_She was growing restless and she had only been held in Polis for two days. She looked up as she heard the door open and let out a snort. So Heda had sent Indra to do her work._

_'Heda did not send me.' Indra spoke softly, as though reading Clarke's mind._

_'I called her heartless before, not brainless.' Clarke muttered, looking back at the floor. Indra ignored the jab._

_'How long are you planning to sulk?' Indra asked, slightly bored._

_'Why are you here, Indra?' Clarke seethed. 'Why do you think I would possibly listen to anything you have to say? I hate Lexa for what she chose but at least she made the choice for herself. She calls and you just go running.'_

_'I swore loyalty to Lexa.' Indra said, somewhat forced._

_'And you betrayed Octavia as much as Lexa betrayed me, and just because Lexa told you to.'_

_'Since you have been gone Lexa has insisted in maintaining diplomacy with Skaikru. She wants them to join her coalition, why do you think that is?' Indra questioned._

_'To have someone else to rule.' Clarke bit._

_'To make sure she never has to choose against you again.'_

_Clarke's eyes flicked up but Indra was already closing the door behind her._

* * *

 'I never wanted Lexa to get hurt.' Octavia said.

Clarke could tell by her tone that Octavia was feeling guilty for criticising her bond with Lexa and for urging her to leave, and that this regret was also stemming from worry for Lincoln.

'We'll save him, Octavia.' Clarke promised.

'Bet your ass we will.' Octavia replied as they broke their way into Arkadia.

'And we'll take out Pike too, if we can.'

'What happened to blood must not have blood?'

'Screw it. I never really believed in it anyway.' Clarke replied bitterly and Octavia made a noncommittal noise.

They managed to make their way, with the help of Abby and Harper's directions through to one of the spare rooms, where they hid under the floor in wait. Clarke kept glancing at Octavia but it was pitch black. She could feel Octavia's nerves. Within minutes, Kane, Lincoln and Sinclair were clambering in with them as they waited for the all clear from Harper.

After the signal, they scrambled up once more. Monty gave them false directions and Clarke's heart risked soaring and shattering. He would be left behind but he had now turned traitor to Pike and would surely be in danger. She could only hope his mother would protect him. They rushed to the exit point and Clarke couldn't even feign surprise that her mother would stay behind. She wanted to be angry but she wished she could be more like her mother. Abby was staying because people needed her too. She was their carer but Clarke was their protector and she so wanted the roles to be reversed.

What she had not expected was the passionate kiss Kane pressed on Abby.

Abby broke apart and glanced at her daughter for approval. Clarke merely nodded her head to signal that it was okay if they really must.

The idea of her mother finding love with one of the men who had condemned her father to death was not appealing but she was stirred from any brooding by wondering what Abby's reaction to her relationship with Lexa would be.

Pike's booming voice startled them all as he threatened that if the prisoners did not give themselves up, the Trikru prisoners would be executed.

She saw the conflict on Lincoln's face, the desperation in Octavia's voice begging him not to go to Pike and the sorrow Lincoln held as he told her he loved her and then knocked her out. Clarke grabbed her as Octavia's knees buckled, as swiftly as she had Lexa less than a day before.

'What are you doing?' Clarke demanded.

'Keep her safe.' Lincoln looked into Clarke's eyes pleading.

'You don't have to do this.' Clarke begged.

'They're my people, Clarke.'

'Then let me go! You're my people too.' Clarke cried.

'Your people still need you, Clarke. Lexa needs you. Stay with Octavia, protect her.'

'Are you really sure she will be able to live with this?' Clarke demanded.

'She'll survive. She's stronger than she knows.'

'Clarke,' Kane put a hand gently on her shoulder to urge her on.

Clarke didn't know what to say. Lincoln had been the first person to try to help them. He'd wanted to do nothing but unite the Arkers and the Grounders. He just wanted peace, to end the bloodshed. Both Lexa and Lincoln were willing to die for love and for peace. Lexa was lucky to escape death but Lincoln was condemned to it, while Pike lived only for wars and hatred.

Clarke swiftly kissed Lincoln on the cheek. 'Ste yuj' she whispered before leaving Arkadia once more.

* * *

  _'So what now?' Octavia demanded._

_Clarke closed her eyes for a second demanding herself to find some ounce of calmness. It was infuriating that even after Octavia had criticised her so much after the fiasco that was the Mountain, it was still up to Clarke to save them all. Why the hell couldn't someone else come up with the plan for a change?_

_Clarke tried to resist glancing to the blooded battlefield they were passing. When she had first looked upon it she had descended into flashes of the fallen Mountain Men and the army that she burned alive at the dropship. She couldn't afford to let memories taunt her now. She needed to come up with something._

_'Lexa will destroy Arkadia.' Octavia shouted bitterly._

_'I'll talk to her.' Clarke tried half-heartedly to placate her._

_'What good is that going to do? She didn't listen to you when she left us at Mount Weather.' Octavia hissed._

_Clarke stopped and turned to the battlefield._

_'I will stop this.' Clarke vowed._

_'It's not like you will lose out. Lexa will let you off the hook for all of this. You'll get to stay in Polis while Arkadia is ruined. ' Octavia jeered and Clarke spun around to face her._

_'Will you grow up, Octavia! I'm trying to save everyone! Lexa was right at the front of the charge of Mount Weather and she'll be right at the front of the assault on Arkadia, just like Indra will be, and Pike will rain down his bullets on all of them. Look what they just did to three hundred men! They stood no chance. Grounders will die until Arkadia runs out of bullets and then every one of us will be slaughtered.' Clarke glanced back hopelessly at the field, her breathing ragged._

_Octavia stepped closer to her, but Clarke turned back to look at the three hundred slain warriors._

_'She betrayed us, she let a missile drop on TonDC, she's the reason Finn is dead. How can you care for her?' Octavia asked, aghast._

_'You fell in love with your Grounder, I fell in love with mine.' Clarke replied darkly._

* * *

Octavia dropped to her horse and ran to look down on Arkadia. Clarke gripped her shoulders and tried to pull Octavia to her so as not to see but Octavia stayed firm. They watched as Lincoln bowed and looked up at the sky. A shot rang out menacingly but they did not hear Lincoln hit the mud, his body plummeting like a fallen tree. Octavia broke down for only a moment. As Lincoln met the Earth she choked back a sob and Clarke felt the woman shudder as she held onto her. She felt for the Flame beneath her clothes.

_It could have been Lexa just yesterday. It could have been Lexa._


	3. Forces at Odds

'Where's Lincoln?' Bellamy asked, perplexed qas he watched everyone enter the cave.

'Pike put a bullet in his brain.' Octavia replied, anger infecting every syllable.

Before Bellamy could say anything, Octavia attacked him.

Bellamy begged no one to interfere as Octavia continued to vent her grief. Dull thuds carried through the cave and the only thing louder was Bellamy gasping for air and Octavia's occasional shrieks.

'Octavia-' Clarke began, turning briefly from inspecting Lexa's wound.

Octavia ignored her and continued until Bellamy was spent, but Octavia's fury wasn't.

'You're dead to me.'

Octavia finally moved away from Bellamy but he looked worse now that she had stopped her attack. Clarke had never seen him so broken, even after the Mountain.

Clarke turned her attention back to the wound and ripped new bandages to cover it. There was no sign of infection and Lexa looked a little stronger.

'Where is Indra?' Clarke asked her, looking around.

'She's gone to serve the new commander.' Lexa replied.

Clarke bit back a scathing reply.

'Did he say anything to you?' Clarke asked, indicating her head towards Bellamy.

'Just that once again you were fixing my mistakes,' Lexa replied in a clipped voice and Clarke was sure it was not at the pain from her injury.

Clarke's anger at Bellamy's remark eased as Lexa tenderly ran her thumb over the back of her hand to soothe her. She did not need to be dragged into an argument with Bellamy now too. She smiled at Lexa and her eyes flicked down to Lexa's lips only for a moment before she fixed the bandages back in place.

'Thank you,'

Clarke could only muster a small nod, her throat constricted.

The radio broke the silence as Monty begged for help; clearly his mother could not protect him. Octavia and Kane agreed to take Bellamy to the dropship as a prisoner and Clarke refused to meet Bellamy's gaze as he was described by Kane as the enemy.

After they left, Sinclair, Brian, Harper and Miller kept a respectful distance although Clarke knew it was because Lexa was still the commander to them. She smiled at Miller's first sign of humility.

Clarke didn't know what to say to Lexa about Lincoln. She had placed a kill order on him herself before, but he was still Trikru and he had been murdered at the hands of Skaikru.

Clarke sat back against the wall, next to Lexa, and pulled out the box containing the Flame. She slid it open and checked on it. It was no larger than her thumb nail. She slid the box closed again and put it away.

'You're the new Flame Keeper,' Lexa smiled, watching her.

'Do you think Titus-?'

'He gave up his position as soon as he offered the Flame to you, he will not serve Ontari and she seems to have found a way to make Polis follow her.' Lexa replied.

'I'm sorry,' Clarke offered as sincerely as she could.

'I should have protected you from him.' Lexa replied ruefully. 'You were under my protection.'

'You did protect me,' Clarke reminded her, 'and Titus did the right thing in the end.'

* * *

_'Aden,' Clarke smiled._

_'Wanheda,' Aden bowed._

_'Training?'_

_It was only an hour or so after dawn. Polis looked quite golden at this hour and the grass still held its morning dew. Clarke couldn't bear to stay in the tower while everyone else was still asleep but she did not expect to run into Aden as he trained alone._

_Aden nodded._

_'Titus and the other Nightbloods aren't with you?'_

_'I like to practice as soon as I wake. It helps keep me sharp.'_

_Clarke could see why practicing fighting would put someone on edge for the rest of the day._

_'Would you like a partner?' Clarke smiled._

_Aden nodded and Clarke, unsurely, picked up what she would only call 'a large stick' -not that she would ever let Lexa hear it described as such. She missed her pistol._

_'I am new to this but I learn quickly.' Clarke warned._

_'We shall soon see,' Aden smiled and Clarke couldn't help but laugh at his confidence._

_Clarke soon realised Aden was brilliant, and that he was taking it very easy on her. She should have known really, as Lexa had described him as the most promising Nightblood. Lexa had seemed so graceful when she had fought Roan but Clarke felt she was lucky to still be on her feet. It did not help her focus in matching each blow that she had to try with great difficult not to gasp for air. Aden noticed her beginning to tire and kindly took mercy, suggesting a break for a few minutes._

_'You do this every day?' Clarke wheezed, clutching the stitch in her side._

_Aden nodded while Clarke muttered a series of curses._

_'I want to be as good as Heda,' Aden earnestly stated._

_'No wonder you practice so much then.' Clarke grumbled._

_'Her fight with King Roan...'_

_'...was pretty special.' Clarke finished for him. 'So Aden, tell me, would you have protected Skaikru?'_

_Aden nodded._

_Clarke swore he must have got his compulsion for that solemn nod from Lexa._

_'Lexa made each of the Nightbloods swear to protect Skaikru.'_

_Clarke inhaled sharply and felt tears threaten her eyes. She blinked rapidly._

_'You really care about her?' Clarke asked softly._

_'Don't you?' Aden replied._

_Clarke merely smiled._

_'Come on, I'm ready to go again.'_

_She indicated and almost regretted it immediately when Aden matched her strike with a blow as ferocious as if Pauna had swung at her. Clarke continued for another twenty minutes before even she had to admit defeat. Aden however, beamed at her effort._

_'I'm sorry I'm not quite as good a teacher as Titus,' Clarke laughed, sitting on the grass and Aden moved to sit opposite her, crossing his legs and looking as composed as ever._

_'You're more fun,' Aden comforted her quietly and Clarke chuckled again._

_'I can believe that.' She replied drily. 'So what else does Titus teach you?'_

_'Our history, the different cultures of the clans, the ways of the blood, what it means to lead.' Aden responded._

_'And what does it mean to lead?' Clarke asked playfully._

_'That duty to our people comes above all else and that love is weakness.'_

_Clarke sat up straighter._

_'Titus taught you that love is weakness?'_

_Aden nodded and Clarke looked away for a second, pulling at a small flower and discarding it casually before looking up at him again._

_'Skaikru have different beliefs.' Clarke responded finally._

_'What beliefs do you hold?' Aden asked, curiosity peaked._

_'I-we-believe that love is strength.'_

_'How can it be? Titus teaches us that love puts us in danger of exploitation.'_

_Clarke hesitated for a moment. She did not want to cause yet more conflict with Titus but it had irked her to discover that he was the one who had pushed such a lesson on Lexa. His teachings had influenced so much. They came from different cultures and with different attitudes but if Skaikru were to find their way back into the Coalition then perhaps their philosophies should be understood, but Clarke froze at the memory of how her father was floated. Perhaps prioritising love was not Skaikru tradition but something that only the one hundred lived by._

_Clarke struggled to find a way to articulate her musings._

_'Well...' Clarke began slowly, trying to think of an example, 'if it wasn't for my love of my people I would not have been able to save them from the Mountain Men. I cared so much for them that I would do anything to save them.'_

_'So your love for them made you strong?'_

_'Yes, otherwise I may well have walked away from them.' Clarke replied sadly and once more found herself trying not to replay Lexa walking away from her._

_'You are not with them now?' He questioned but it was with a confused tone._

_'I can work with Lexa here to help them.' Clarke smiled._

_'Wanheda,' Titus's voice cut across them and Clarke looked behind her to see both him and Lexa so she rose to her feet, as did Aden, 'Aden, it is time now. We shall go to the other Nightbloods to begin our day's training.'_

_Aden nodded._

_'Thank you Wanheda for training with me and teaching me about Skaikru.'_

_'Oh?' Lexa smiled. 'What did she teach you?'_

_Clarke froze._

_'That Skaikru believe love is strength.' Aden replied happily._

_Clarke looked anywhere but at Lexa and Titus._

_'What is this?' Titus muttered, outraged._

_Clarke sighed._

_'I just told him a bit about our culture.'_

_'Which contradicts our lessons.'_

_'Titus,' Lexa cut across in a warning voice and Clarke was surprised to see her struggling not to smile, 'the Nightbloods are waiting for you.'_

_'Of course, Heda.'_

_Titus led Aden back to the tower but Aden gave her a small smile as he left and Clarke winked at him in return._

_'Are you trying to irritate Titus?' Lexa asked in amusement._

_Clarke shrugged._

_'He makes it so easy.'_

_Lexa allowed herself a brief laugh._

_'What else did you teach him?'_

_Clarke was relieved to hear no anger behind her words._

_'Nothing, honestly. If anything he taught me that I'm a terrible fighter.'_

_'Your strength has been to bring peace.' Lexa replied kindly._

_'That was you.'_

_Clarke swiftly broke her gaze with Lexa and looked out at Polis._

_'I heard Indra isn't carrying out her duties anymore?'_

_'You said she needed time to recover.' Lexa answered._

_'She still does not agree with "blood must not have blood"'? Clarke asked, sensing that was more to it than Lexa's simple reply let on._

_'She is my subject. She will comply with it.'_

_Clarke couldn't help but wonder just how many more people they would have to face who would threaten this new policy. Indra had always shown total loyalty to Lexa but if even she was resentful of this then Clarke was aware of the dangers that lay ahead, and that she would have to come up with a plan to deal with Pike quickly._

_'Thank you...for not attacking Arkadia.' Clarke clarified in response to Lexa's questioning look._

_'We need to finally bring an end to the bloodshed, Clarke.' Lexa replied._

_'I know, but thank you, still.'_

* * *

Clarke watched Lexa sleep while they waited for the return of Octavia and the others. She was certain that she could have sat like this until the next morning. Clarke found it hard to believe how peaceful she looked in this dank cave after having just nearly lost her life. Clarke felt for the Flame again. It was a pointless act as the box was so large she could feel it pressing against her body but she knew that Ontari was as desperate for this as she was Lexa's head. 

Clarke couldn't help but wonder about the Flame. She hadn't had a chance to discuss it thoroughly with Lexa and she wasn't sure she was ready to. Whenever confronted with a painful conversation, she fled. She had barely discussed anything significant with her mother even though they had faced so much. She could hardly look Lexa in the eye half the time, scared of what she might find there. If Clarke did ask about the Flane, she wasn't sure she would be able to accept any answers Lexa gave her. She knew nothing of the AI. Did it influence Lexa's decisions? Could it have shaped her decision on the Mountain? Clarke didn't know which answer would hurt more. Did it mean Lexa this whole time had been an AI? She thought back to Polis. She truly believed Lexa was going to tell her she was in love with her, but she didn't. Maybe the AI stopped love- but then how did that explain Costia? Lexa had clearly loved her deeply.

She could not understand how the Commanders still lived on. Lexa herself had described them as living within her on the morning of Ascension Day and that meant that Lexa, no matter what happened to her body, could potentially live on in this chip. They'd all been so busy doing everything in their power to stop death at every turn and yet now Lexa could live on forever within the Flame.

She glanced at the woman besides her. Her heart ached at how beautiful she looked, and at how close they had come to living a very different story.

She stopped herself from brushing Lexa's hair out of her face, not wanting to disturb her.

Only Nightbloods could take the Flame so Clarke would never know Lexa within it. She would only have the Lexa here. It felt like a painful reminder that Lexa could be taken from her at any time, and that the Flame would still elusively keep Lexa from her. It may have held Lexa but it was no guarantee of keeping her alive to Clarke.

Octavia, Bellamy and Monty walked into the cave, their arrival waking Lexa.

'What happened?' Clarke asked and Monty ran to hug her for they had not seen one another since the day that Clarke had left.

'Where's Kane?'

'He went to Polis to meet the new Commander. The Grounders took Pike.' Octavia replied, she kept her back to Bellamy.

'He thinks now Pike is gone he can try to negotiate a peace.' Monty added.

'With Ontari that won't happen. Nia hated the alliance with Skaikru from the beginning.' Lexa said, standing and Clarke was surprised at how steady she was.

'I thought she would have celebrated how you treated us.' Bellamy sneered.

'Kane made his choice. We can't worry about him now. We have to get to Luna, that's the only way to stop Ontari.' Clarke replied, ignoring Bellamy.

'I can't take you to her.' Lexa said.

'Why not?' Clarke asked bewildered.

'I don't know where she is,' Lexa replied and then added at Clarke's confusion, 'Luna kept herself entirely distant from us. I know that her clan is near the water but I do not know where. They have wanted nothing to do with our ways. They occasionally take in causalities of war but they have never approached us.'

'Lincoln knew where she was.' Octavia replied. 'His book will tell us.'

'Then we have to go back to Arkadia.' Clarke concluded.

'I'll get you the book but I'm not coming with you to Luna.' Octavia stated in a hard voice.

'Octavia, we need you.' Clarke argued.

'No, you don't.'

'O, please, I'll do anything-' Bellamy pleaded.

'Bring Lincoln back!' Octavia snarled and Bellamy fell silent.

'Where are you going to go?' Clarke asked hopelessly.

'Anywhere but here.'

'Guys, are you there?' The radio croaked out.

'Jasper?' Clarke questioned while Octavia grabbed it.

'We're here.'

'I'm in the rover. I've got Raven, she's unconscious. They've all taken the chip. They've taken Arkadia-'

'Slow down, Jasper,' Octavia urged, 'what chip? What are you talking about?'

'Jaha's chip to the City of Light. They've all been taken by ALIE. They're not themselves. They can see her and do what she wants but they're not them anymore. Where are you guys?'

Octavia gave him the co-ordinates.

'They need us.' Clarke repeated to Octavia.

'What Jasper said sounds insane.' Octavia shouted.

'Raven's still unconscious, whatever is going on we need to wait for him and figure it out.' Monty replied.

'You can't just leave, O,' Bellamy said and the pair descended into yet another row.

'How can Arkadia have fallen? We were just there?' Monty asked Clarke desperately while the Blakes shouted on, ignoring them.

'Jasper will tell us what happened.' Clarke reassured him.

'We need answers now. Arkadia will be more vulnerable than ever to Ontari.' Lexa commented.

'Jasper better hurry up,' Clarke muttered under her breath; the longer they were delayed in finding Luna the more opportunities Ontari would have to capture them all, murder Lexa and take the Flame.


	4. Interventions

'Come on, Octavia!' Clarke shouted as they dragged Raven into the cave.

Raven woke, eyes wide. When she noticed Lexa, she stiffened for a second and then launched herself at her. Clarke warned Lexa back in case she tore her stitches and Lexa's eyes flashed with annoyance but she accepted Clarke's words. Clarke, Bellamy and Monty struggled to restrain Raven and get her into the cave as Raven fought viciously to get at Lexa. They tied her as best they could to the cave wall.

'What the hell happened to her?' Bellamy demanded.

'I told you on the radio, Raven is not Raven anymore.' Jasper grimaced. 'None of them are.'

Clarke felt some relief at seeing Octavia follow them into the cave. She glanced at Jasper who was determinedly looking anywhere but back at her. It was the first time she had seen him since she had left Arkadia. There were still dark circles under his eyes but his hair was much shorter and he looked thinner. Clarke figured that the last person Jasper would take care of would be himself. He didn't wear his goggles either, Clarke couldn't fail to notice.

'Jaha's been chipping everyone.' He explained. 'He's using the chips to control everyone. You swallow it and it changes you. You forget who you are-'

Clarke furrowed her brow as she thought of the Flame.

'- and you see this thing ALIE, only she's not really there.'

Octavia looked at Jasper as though he really was insane.

'She made Raven slit her own wrists.' Jasper's voice faltered and he pointed to the bandages wrapped around her arms. 'She was trying to get it out of her head. I was trying to help her but-'

'So let's help her now.' Sinclair stated, swallowing back his emotions.

'Did she say how?'

Clarke wondered if they had grown close again. She knew Sinclair had watched over Raven on the Ark and that he was a mentor to her. He might just be the only person left that Raven truly felt a strong connection with.

'She was working on building something.' Jasper answered. 'She needed one of our old wristbands but Jaha destroyed all of them.'

'What wristbands?' Lexa questioned quickly.

'We used them to monitor the condition of the hundred when we sent them to the ground.' Sinclair answered.

'Wait a second,' Clarke interjected, and she pulled the Flame out of its box, 'does it look like this?'

'Not exactly.' Jasper commented.

There was a loud crack as Raven broke free of her bonds and dove for the Flame. Clarke wrestled it from her and Raven changed tactics and ran to the cave's exit. They all fled after her while Raven screamed about her surroundings.

'Just woods! I can't see anything!' Raven cried in frustration.

Clarke, Octavia and Bellamy finally caught up to her and wrestled to restrain her once more.

'If Raven finds out where we are so will ALIE. She'll come come for her.'

Jasper knocked her out with the anaesthetic shot the same way Lincoln had to Octavia.

'Reaper stick. Last dose.' He muttered.

'We have to go,' Clarke said suddenly.

'Why? ALIE doesn't know where we are?' Bellamy replied.

'Because I know where we can get a wristband. Get in the rover, I'll give directions.'

'Who are we going to?' Lexa questioned.

'A friend.' Clarke replied vaguely with an obvious glance at Raven.

They all scrambled in after Clarke and she just prayed that Niylah would help her now. Clarke hadn't exactly treated her fairly and she was sure that Roan's companion would have gone back to Niylah's to interrogate her. Skaikru were largely known as the 'bringers of death' to the rest of the grounders too. Niylah had seemed reverent of all that Clarke had done, and the lives she had taken and for the first time she prayed that admiration was still in place because she needed her help now.

Clarke merely pointed directions, not daring to speak aloud in case Raven woke and was simply pretending to be unconscious. She knew there should still be time but she didn't know how ALIE affected her brain. Jasper had said all of them followed ALIE but Lexa seemed so in control. The Flame was different and Raven wanted it, but how was it different?

Clarke ordered Bellamy to stop.

Niylah caught sight of them as they approached and seemed less than enthusiastic at their presence.

'I thought you said she was a friend?' Octavia asked suspiciously.

'I'll handle this.' Clarke replied.

Lexa made to get out of the car to follow her.

'Stop right there!' Clarke hissed fearfully. 'If she isn't going to help us she can't know that you are here.'

'Clarke-' Lexa argued.

'-I'll be fine, you know I'm right. Now please just wait here.' She huffed, marching off while Bellamy chased after her.

Threatening Niylah at gun point had been the last thing Clarke had wanted. She visibly flinched as Bellamy pointed the gun at her but she knew there was no other way. They had to save Raven. Clarke led them through the back and she knew Lexa had noticed how familiar she was with the surroundings. This could not be more of an awkward situation, she thought.

Raven kept fighting bitterly to get free and Clarke doubted how long the restraints would hold up that kept her tied to the bed. It reminded her of when Lincoln was a reaper and he fought so vehemently against them all, all recognition and warmth for them gone in his eyes. Clarke felt a crashing injustice that it was Raven who was going through this. Raven was the best of them. The Arkers had sent them all down to Earth in the most selfish way; it wasn't even to die but to see if they themselves could live. Raven had come to Earth simply to help, and she was always on their side no matter what. If Raven was this broken, she didn't know what that meant for the rest of them.

It was up to Octavia and Monty to receive the electromagnet. She had wished Monty could be able to stay quite selfishly, he was one of the few that didn't seem to hold any animosity for her. Jasper hated her and she couldn't even blame him and Bellamy was clearly agitated at her closeness to Lexa.

She threw a self conscious look to the backroom where Jasper was with Raven before sitting down opposite Lexa at the table. She looked at Lexa's hand in front of her and had an impulse to grab it. She shifted in her chair, looking around. She watched Niylah obviously trying to stay busy but entirely uncomfortable with the fact they had just invaded her home. She was pleased that she was correct that Niylah would still give them the wristband to help Raven. Niylah was too kind to let an innocent girl die.

'How do you know her?' Lexa asked somewhat sharply, clearly watching where Clarke had been staring.

Clarke rolled her eyes.

'Are you jealous?' She scoffed.

'You didn't want Bellamy to hurt her. You care about her.' Lexa challenged.

'She helped me when I left Arkadia.' Clarke shrugged. 'I don't think you have a right to be jealous, Lexa.'

Lexa looked at Niylah and Clarke was taken aback to find as much hurt in her expression as there was fury.

'Excuse me,' Lexa got up and walked outside with Clarke chasing after her.

'Lexa, wait!' Clarke called and Lexa walked around the side of the building so that they could not be heard.

'It was nothing, really. I needed a place to hide from Ice Nation, it was dark and she let me stay. She just kept going on about the Mountain and I just wanted her to stop-'

'That was one method to end the discussion.' Lexa replied seemingly offhand but Clarke saw through her act.

Clarke pulled her jacket tighter around her to fight off the cool night air.

'I would have thought it was obvious now which side of the line I had chosen to be on.' Clarke said, matching Lexa's fierce gaze.

Lexa finally softened and Clarke ghosted a finger over Lexa's cheek to brush away the tear that had fallen, and gave Lexa a tender kiss.

'Lexa...' Clarke breathed.

'Yes, Clarke?' Lexa murmured, her eyes flicking down to Clarke's lips briefly but she didn't move to try to close the distance between them again.

'Did you see Costia in the City of Light?' Clarke asked nervously; she had known it was just the commanders who had taken the Flame but the other chips had clearly existed for just as long and perhaps the other chips were not uncommon then either.

'No,' Lexa answered slightly confused and Clarke, unable to explain all that she was feeling, kissed Lexa again and after everything, this moment had been the one thing to give her any kind of hope at all.

Clarke felt she was coming undone when Lexa took control of the kiss. Lexa poured so much passion into the act and cradled Clarke's face.

At Polis, Clarke was being torn apart. She had never wanted to leave Lexa but she had been able to finally kiss Lexa then because she was leaving, so if Lexa had confirmed Clarke's fears that she felt nothing for her then Clarke could have easily ran away. Now it was as though they were confirming all that was between them and Clarke could let herself believe they really were together.

They only broke apart when Jasper screamed that Raven was trying to break free. Clarke swore and they sprinted back through to where Raven was tied and fought once more to bind her to the bed. Raven's shoulder was purple and hanging strangely, clearly dislocated. Clarke pulled on her shoulder with all her strength to pop it back into place, sickened at the uses to what ALIE was putting Raven's body to.

Clarke volunteered to take the first watch over Raven. Lexa still needed to rest, Jasper was distraught and Clarke wanted to clean Raven's wounds. She did, however, feel slightly uneasy at the prospect of leaving the three of them with Niylah. At least, she had escaped the tension.

Clarke cleaned Raven's wounds gently. Their friendship had been born out of the strangest of circumstances; her mother had sent Raven to them just as Clarke had gotten close to Raven's boyfriend and yet Raven had held little animosity towards her. Clarke had been envious of Raven and her strength. She hadn't lied when she had told her 'I'd pick you first', but then Clarke had killed Finn and their relationship was ruined. She understood why Raven had hated her but it had torn Clarke apart. She'd been completely taken aback when Raven hugged her before she rushed to TonDC before the missile strike but that was Raven. She had the biggest heart, while Clarke wondered if hers was painted black.

'Thank you,' Raven replied and Clarke smiled contentedly, believing Raven was truly there.

'Do you ever see their faces?' Raven whispered and Clarke's eyes snapped up.

'What?' Clarke asked, voice trembling with fear.

'Of all of the people you've killed.' Raven continued.

Clarke forced a shaky laugh.

'I know what you're doing,' Clarke replied, struggling to hold control over herself, 'but you can't get to me ALIE so don't even bother.'

'It's not ALIE, Clarke.'

The way Raven used her name almost made her believe that this was Raven.

'It's Raven and I'm not trying to get to you, I'm just trying to tell you the truth because no one else will. Everywhere you go, death follows. You always want to save everyone but what you don't realise is you're the one we need saving from. Wells is dead because you couldn't see Charlotte was a basket-case.'

Clarke continued to focus on the wounds that needed cleaning, trying to block out Raven's words as memories threatened to overwhelm her of the look on Lexa's face when she collapsed from her bullet wound, of how hurt Wells was when Clarke had told him she hated him for something that wasn't even his fault...

'Finn is dead because you broke his heart and then slid a knife into it.'

She tried to resist the image of Finn's head hanging onto his chest and the smell of his blood that she had been soaked in.

'Hell, I bet you got Lexa shot.'

Clarke's hand clenched.

'It's only since she met you that everyone is trying to kill her.'

Clarke let go of Raven as though touching her burned and she stared at her, eyes wide.

'Shut up.' Clarke warned venomously.

'And then there's dear old dad...' Raven cooed as Clarke paced around the bed.

'I said SHUT UP!' Clarke threatened her but Raven leaned forwards hungrily.

'Your mom's with me, Clarke. She tells me that you tried to convince him not to go public about the fact the Ark was dying! Guess you should have tried harder! His blood is on your hands too.' Raven mocked.

'SHUT UP!' Clarke bellowed.

And she couldn't stop the image of her father being sucked into space and the overwhelming guilt she had felt because she had trusted Wells while her mother had been the one to comfort her, to let her believe it was her own fault.

'We don't buy your selfless martyr act. We see you for what you are. Poison to anyone who gets close. Your mother doesn't want you to save her. She thinks you're a monster. She's disgusted by you for letting those people be slaughtered in TonDC.'

Clarke grabbed a cloth and went to gag Raven but she screamed in agony as Raven bit her. Clarke stumbled backwards, clutching her hand. Raven spat her blood over the side of the bed.

'You're done, ALIE!' Clarke screamed. 'You hear me? We're going to fry you!'

Clarke felt arms grab her as Bellamy and Lexa both pulled her from the room as Clarke continued to scream at Raven. She pushed Bellamy back as soon as they were out of the room.

'Don't!' She warned him, trying to regain control. 'I'm fine.'

She took a shaky breath and the herself down on the nearest chair, cursing darkly as blood poured from her hand.

* * *

_Clarke sat on the floor next to her window, letting the breeze try to calm her. There was a knock at the door but she didn't bother to answer. It opened and within seconds Lexa was sitting down next to her, leaning against the wall. She was wearing the same nightgown from the night after her fight with Roan._

_'For the record, ignoring someone's wishes isn't respectful.' Clarke muttered._

_'I wanted to check on you and I did leave you alone for a week when you first came here.' Lexa reminded her._

_'And then you ran out of patience.' Clarke muttered and Lexa didn't deny it._

_Clarke leaned her head back against the wall. Lexa observed her for a moment and then took her hand in her own, tracing patterns over it with her other. Clarke watched the movements of her hands and knew she should draw comfort from it but she just wanted to shrink away. She didn't know how long it was before she finally found the strength to speak._

_'I would have killed him.' Clarke croaked._

_'You did not.' Lexa responded._

_'I wanted to. He'll come back. He'll kill me.' Clarke said it dully; it was a matter of fact and not something she feared._

_'Emerson is banished from our lands. He won't be able to get near you.' Lexa vowed and she grasped Clarke's hands more tightly._

_'When Charlotte murdered Wells, I told her she couldn't just kill people to make herself feel better yet that's what I've become. The only reason I didn't kill Emerson was so I didn't undermine you. There's enough people against us already after the massacre. I didn't want to save him. I kill people and I don't think anything of it now._

_'I didn't hesitate to try to kill Nia. I didn't even think how it would look if she dropped dead from poison just before the fight.'_

_'You were trying to protect your people.' Lexa comforted her, barely whispering._

_'I wasn't.' Clarke denied with a bitter laugh._

_Lexa had been so calm before the fight. She was ready to accept what had awaited her and Clarke ran around trying to do anything she could to stop it. Lexa's words had cut through her; she did need to fix everything and yet she rarely could._

_'I tried to warn them.' Clarke was almost pleading for Lexa to understand.' I told them that we had an army, I told Cage I had his father. I kept warning them but they wouldn't stop.'_

_'You did everything you could.'_

_To Clarke it sounded like Lexa was promising her she wasn't broken, but Clarke could never work out just how Lexa could look at her like she had all of the answers, that she was a good leader who could inspire anyone when she felt so shattered. Clarke was terrified when Lexa looked at her like that. There was nothing to admire about her, she believed._

_'I shot Dante in cold blood. I watched his body slump. I did it just to hurt his son. I took their love and used it to manipulate and murder, then I watched as they all just crumpled to their deaths from the radiation. I told Bellamy once that he wasn't the monster he thought he was and I know now that I am. My father tried to do everything he could to save us. If he could see what I had turned into, what I had done to survive, he would hate me.'_

_'Clarke,' Lexa started with such authority Clarke was silenced, and Lexa cupped her face gently, 'they attacked you. You did not set out to murder. Skaikru lives because of you. It's because of you Bellamy can watch his sister finally find peace on the Earth, that your mother lives, that your friends are free. You didn't ask for any of this. You saved lives because that is who you are. You protect the people you love from the villains of this world and that's why they look to you to lead. You were chosen because they trust you with their lives. You're their saviour and guardian. If it wasn't for you, we all would have lost so much more. If your father would not be proud of that then he did not deserve you.'_

_Clarke gave a watery smile and finally stood up, extracting her hand from Lexa's. Lexa gave her a look full of warmth before turning to leave._

_'Wait-' Clarke called and then stopped; she hated watching Lexa leave her like this and she wished Lexa would for once break the stoic walls she had put up._

_Lexa turned to her, eyes trying to hide any expectation or hope. Clarke found her endlessly frustrating to read in these personal moments. Lexa could well have stayed so respectful because of all that had happened or it was because she no longer held feelings for Clarke. Clarke didn't know what to do._

_'Yes, Clarke?' Lexa prompted after several moments of Clarke standing in the middle of the room looking entirely lost._

_'Tell Titus to stay out of my room.' Clarke grumbled, feigning annoyance at an easy target rather than at herself._

* * *

Clarke allowed Bellamy to wrap her hand.

'She got to me.' Clarke conceded, pride stung.

'You don't say?' Bellamy half joked and then offered to take the next shift with her.

Clarke watched him go, feeling exhausted. She didn't know if she could be angry with him anymore, especially when Octavia was punishing him so much. She was humiliated and devastated when he had arrested her. Indignation had burned through her when he had said it was for her own good, when all she wanted was to get back to Lexa where she knew she would be safe, but Bellamy was here now. She recoiled at how easily he had held the gun to Niylah and felt nauseous every time she pictured the field of fallen soldiers but she had always counted on him. He had always been there for her. She didn't know if she could fix this without him. She didn't know if she could lose anyone else. She didn't have any idea how she could begin to try to save her mother.

She looked up at Jasper who was twitching agitatedly. Clarke slowly walked over to him. She just wanted things back the way they were. They were the hundred.

'I'm sorry,' she told Jasper sincerely.

'What?' Jasper looked horrified, he hadn't expected her to admit her guilt when it was easier to rage at a monster.

'I never wanted to hurt Maya.' Clarke was desperate to make him understand just how much she regretted everything. 'I never wanted any of this. I had to save our people.'

'I was going to save everyone!' Jasper snapped.

'I wish you could have.'

'Shove your regret up your ass.' Jasper retorted, walking off and shoving Clarke as he went while she choked back sobs.

Lexa came over from the window.

'He needs time. He will forgive you.'

'Like you forgave Nia?' Clarke asked disbelieving.

'Nia was trying to hurt me, you were trying to save everyone.' Lexa placated, taking her hand.

Within moments they heard Jasper shouting at Raven.

'You lasted longer than that.' Lexa commented drily and Clarke dared to smile.

The opportunity to share quiet jokes was soon exhausted when Niylah heard Raven reveal that Bellamy was responsible for murdering the army, and therefore Niylah's father. Niylah's anger had been understandable but her desire to confront Bellamy had put them all in danger. ALIE knew where they were and it was with sharp relief that Octavia and Monty finally stumbled back through the door, but Monty was looking horrified while Octavia looked physically battered. Clarke read his expression. He'd been so together in the Mountain after what they had done. He'd helped keep Clarke somewhat together on the walk down back to Arkadia, but now he looked sick to his stomach. There was only one reason: his mother was dead.

They wrestled to attach the wristband to Raven while she pleaded that it would kill her. Clarke fought her own impulses to stop at Raven's pleading voice. She despised that Raven didn't sound like ALIE but just like her friend begging for help. _This has to save her. Let me save her_.

'Raven, stop fighting and I'll give you this.' Clarke held up the Flame clearly and Raven relaxed her body, ALIE to greedy to recognise the obvious trap and Bellamy and Octavia quickly tied her back up while Clarke put the Flame safely on the table.

'You liar!' Raven shouted and then to their terror, started smashing her head against the headboard.

Sinclair turned on the EMP with the new electromagnetic power and Raven slumped. Clarke dove to her and checked that she was still mercifully breathing. She tried to rouse her but nothing worked. She didn't respond to her name or any painful stimuli. Maybe they had damaged her brain...Clarke frantically kept calling Raven's name in an attempt to wake her but Jasper took advantage of her distraction.

'I'm ending this!' Jasper shouted, grabbing the nearest piece of wood and aiming at the Flame.

'No! It's Lexa!' Clarke shouted desperately and Jasper froze.

Bellamy looked at Clarke with disappointment, Octavia like she had lost her mind and Lexa's eyes were filled with concern. Clarke's focus never left Jasper. Jasper took in the sight of her fear and desperation and he reluctantly dropped his hand.

'Wait,' Clarke said.

The Flame was essentially an upgraded version of ALIE and therefore it was possible that they weren't too dissimilar. She could have sworn at the fact she couldn't talk this theory through with Raven. She didn't know anything about technology.

Sinclair confirmed they could have the same basis of design and Clarke looked to Lexa to convey her understanding. She grabbed a knife and cut into Raven's neck and waited. Everyone held their breath around her. The remnants of the chip poured out in a thick black pool and Raven gasped for air. Octavia cried with laughing and relief flooded Clarke.

'I never thought I'd be glad to see someone in pain.' Octavia quipped and Raven laughed shakily.

Jasper and Bellamy dragged her up gently and hurried her to the car. Clarke waited until Octavia had given her the lantern as a trade for her clothes until she spoke to Niylah, urging her to flee. She couldn't help but feel guilty for all that she had brought to her door. Bellamy may have been responsible for her father's death but Clarke had used her, helped create the situation with Pike and then had used her again for shelter and the wristband which now meant she was a marked woman.

Lexa grabbed Clarke at the door though before she could rejoin the others.

'I just panicked.' Clarke deflected keenly. 'I thought Jasper was going to destroy the Flame. I just wanted to stop him.'

'Clarke,' Lexa said firmly, forcing Clarke to meet her gaze, 'I'm right here.'

larke nodded, walking past her to the others who were at the car.

'The one thing I don't understand is, why did ALIE want you to kill yourself?' Clarke asked slowly.

'Because I know how to stop her.' Raven smirked, and Clarke knew now that her friend was back.


	5. The Lull

Clarke sat next to Lexa on the river bank, thoughts rarely shifting from the fear of what awaited them in Arkadia. They had all been exhausted by the events of the last few days and there was a good chance that they wouldn't just be welcomed through the doors if ALIE had made everyone take the chip. Clarke urged them to stop for the day to recover before they went for Lincoln's book. Octavia had broken her into Arkadia twice now but that had also been with the help of Abby who would have undoubtedly informed ALIE of their methods. They would have little choice but to go straight through the front gate. Clarke didn't have any idea how they'd pull it off.

Raven was resting in the rover, with the boot open and Jasper and Sinclair were sat next to her. Monty and Bellamy every so often scouted the area but neither Clarke nor Lexa thought this was particularly productive; it was unlikely ALIE would just go strolling through the woods in the off chance that she might find them. However, they clearly needed time and space. Octavia tried to rest every so often but would wake with a start and resume her pacing, muttering that they should be at Arkadia already. Clarke could understand why she was so distraught. Doing something often helped put off feeling the overwhelming force of grief, if only for a little while but Clarke wasn't prepared to let them walk into Arkadia half asleep just to make Octavia feel better. Miller, Harper and Brian were still maintaining their position at the cave and Clarke was fairly certain they'd be safe there. Lexa seemed in the best condition of all of them. She still moved gingerly but she was clearly tired of playing the patient. She was alert and sharp as ever, even if that did attract hostilities from Bellamy and Octavia who still held her in contempt.

'It feels like a bad omen that we'll be taking on ALIE at Arkadia and you won't have your war paint on.' Clarke commented with a wry smile.

'Or fitting seeing as we have been working toward peace.' Lexa suggested, falling quiet.

Clarke looked at her for a moment as Lexa stared into the river. Clarke could see how difficult it had been for Lexa to have just been taken out of Polis and not be allowed to confront the situation head on as she had with Nia. It was not in Lexa to run away from a problem.

'What are you thinking about?'

'The Nightbloods.' Lexa confessed softly to an unsurprised Clarke.

Clarke had wished Titus had not been so specific about how Aden died. She kept imagining horrific images of the boy who had so charmed her. She wondered if they had been scared or it if it had all happened so quickly that they didn't have a chance to fully comprehend what was happening to them.

'It wasn't your fault.' Clarke said, resting her hand on Lexa's thigh.

'I was their commander.'

'You are Heda,' Clarke corrected, 'and Titus betrayed you- that was his choice and Ontari took advantage because that's what Nia taught her. It wasn't your fault.'

'I am not Heda now.' Lexa denied. 'When Luna takes the Flame...'

'Of course you are.' Clarke scoffed and cut her off midsentence. 'I don't care about who has the Flame, you are the leader of the thirteen clans. You've done everything to serve your people and give them a chance at a future. You just got shot and yet you're still fighting for them. You are Heda.'

'You cared that Jasper didn't destroy the Flame.' Lexa pointed out.

'Because we need it to win. I don't believe we need it for you to lead.' Clarke stated.

'And that's all there was to it?' Lexa challenged knowingly.

Clarke felt the box against her chest and looked away from Lexa briefly. It held Lexa inside, a copy of her. Of course it would matter to her.

'I just want us to get through this.' Clarke answered.

'Are you ever going to tell me what Raven said to you?'

Clarke bit back a bitter laugh.

'Nothing I haven't heard before.' Clarke sighed.

* * *

_'Clarke,' Lexa sighed in exasperation._

_'Wait, you're awake?' Clarke asked, surprised._

_She looked across at Lexa in the other bed that had been set up in the tent. Lexa had not so graciously made Indra sleep in the smaller tent even though she was wounded. They were supposed to be staying at Arkadia but the commander always traveled with certain provisions in case the need arose. They had not accounted to have anyone else staying, but in light of the day's events Indra's presence was a relief to Clarke._

_'It's difficult to sleep when you keep fidgeting and sighing.' Lexa remarked._

_'Sorry,' Clarke muttered._

_She stared up at the canopy of the tent, tapping her index finger against the back of her other hand. She exhaled loudly in frustration at not being able to sleep._

_'Is it the Mountain?' Lexa asked quietly, and Clarke recognised that she was referring to her insomnia._

_'No, I can usually get to sleep fine. I just wake up a lot and then give up.'_

_Lexa waited a beat before speaking again._

_'Are you going to tell me what Bellamy said?'_

_'I told you; he just sides with Pike.' Clarke dismissed._

_'Your wrists are red.'_

_Clarke looked across at Lexa but she was still lying in bed. She must have noticed Clarke's wrists when she had first returned. I should have known, Clarke thought sulkily._

_'He arrested me.'_

_Clarke waited but Lexa did not respond; she had probably gathered as much._

_'He hates me.' Clarke said finally._

_She hadn't meant it to sound so childish or vulnerable. She hadn't even liked Bellamy for a long time but they'd learnt to trust each other and she had counted on him. He had been there with her through everything when everyone looked to them to lead._

_'He blames me for everything: for the situation with Pike and the grounders, for leaving, for trusting you...' Clarke glanced across at Lexa, who offered her a look of understanding. 'He said that when I was in charge people get killed.'_

_'Clarke,' Lexa began slowly, 'outside are three hundred slain warriors that were sent to protect Arkadia. That was not your doing. People have lost their lives in many battles and conflicts because that's what life has demanded. That is what war has brought but you have helped deliver peace with "blood must not have blood".'_

_Clarke rolled over on her stomach and watched Lexa. She had seemed not at all concerned with what the new policy would mean, even in the face of Indra's doubts. Clarke had sworn that Lexa had seemed more content than Clarke had ever seen her and yet, it should not have surprised her. Kane had called Lexa a 'visionary' and Lincoln had agreed. At the time, demanding Finn's life had only seemed cruel to Clarke and a ruthless act of vengeance but that was because she had loved Finn. Lexa had spared them all. She hadn't wanted bloodshed or relished in it, and had protected Clarke when Trikru had rushed forward to strike her down for taking Finn's life and denying the ritual. Lexa had also taken the deal on Mount Weather to save her people. Peace had always been her preferred route when everyone else demanded war. Clarke never felt as safe with anyone as when she was with Lexa. When she and Bellamy led, they had charged into one situation after another blindly and usually with guns in their arms._

_'You should rest, Clarke.' Lexa said, amused and Clarke blushed slightly as she was brought out of her thoughts and realised she'd been staring at Lexa for some time._

_Clarke buried her head in her pillow in frustration before turning back to Lexa._

_'You must wish we'd never came down to the ground.' Clarke muttered darkly._

_'I do not,' Lexa assured her, 'but it might have been easier if just you had.'_

_Clarke couldn't help but burst out laughing. Lexa might have had a point there._

* * *

 'She just talked about the blood on my hands.' Clarke said.

'I don't think any of our hands are clean.' Lexa pointed out.

'You're probably right,' Clarke sighed, lying back on the grass while Lexa stood up. 'Where are you going?'

'It'll be dark soon. I'm going to start a fire.'

Clarke watched her go and Octavia followed. She muttered grumpily as she knew Lexa had retreated so quickly that Clarke couldn't give her another lecture about taking it easy. Clarke nearly jumped though when Bellamy sat down beside her.

'Hey,' She groaned as she sat back up.

Bellamy nodded.

'Octavia caught some fish.'

'Of course she did.' Clarke commented and Bellamy smiled.

'We can stay here tonight and head out first thing.'

Clarke nodded in agreement.

Bellamy looked over to where Lexa and Octavia now were starting the fire.

'You really trust her?' Bellamy asked, full of scepticism.

'Yes,' Clarke said, eyes narrowed in the face of the setting sun.

'She left us.'

'We worked through it.'

Clarke didn't know how else to respond. They had different priorities on the Mountain. They both put their own people first. It still hurt but it was a wound that was healing and Clarke was much more concerned with what awaited them in the shape of ALIE than going through bitter memories.

'I'm glad you did.' Bellamy snorted.

'I know you don't trust her,' Clarke stated, 'but do you trust me?'

Bellamy stared at her full of burning intensity but he did nod.

'You care about the Flame.' He continued.

'It will stop ALIE.' Clarke replied, slightly agitated as she felt there was an accusation buried in his statement.

'You care about her.'

'Yes.'

'Why?' Bellamy questioned, gaping.

Clarke didn't have any idea how to begin to answer that the question. She was just Lexa. Lexa, who had haunted her for months on end. Lexa who was the only person who infuriated her and yet gave her peace when she'd known nothing but death and war for so long. Lexa who understood because they were the same. Lexa was in her blood.

'Lexa's special.'

'You're special, Clarke. You're the one we need.' Bellamy replied.

'And I need her.'

Bellamy nodded and Clarke took that to mean that he would, for now, work with Lexa. She couldn't blame the animosity between them. She'd held all the same hatred for what happened on the Mountain too, and she'd also felt devastated to see what Bellamy had done to the army. At some point, Lexa and Bellamy would stand against one another again. Too much had happened and Bellamy had never wanted peace with the grounders but for now, Clarke was content with this alliance that was built on nothing more than the fact it was their only option.


	6. Haunted House

_Clarke wretched over the side of the toilet. She gasped for air and pulled the chain, sitting back. Her throat was burning. She took deep breaths trying to steady herself. Her whole body was shaking wildly._

_'Clarke, we're leaving.' Octavia's voice came behind her._

_'I'm coming,' She mumbled._

_She heard the door slam as Octavia left. Clarke slowly pulled herself up and made her way back to the dorm room. She was conscious she might fall; her legs were trembling and her knees felt as though they had no strength to them. She walked by a couple of people, not taking in their faces but she could sense that they all turned to look at her as she passed. Clarke entered the dorm to see everyone getting ready to leave._

_'Hey,' Raven's voice called softly._

_Clarke turned to see her friend in Wick's arms. Raven looked even worse than Clarke felt. She was pale and sweaty and Clarke could see that pain was wracking her body._

_'We've got some supplies from their medical station so if you need pain medication on the way down just shout, okay?' Clarke told her, turning to leave but Raven's hand caught her own and pulled her back around._

_'Thank you,' Raven said in a low but determined voice._

_'Just try not to move too much.' Clarke suggested, before pulling out of Raven's grasp._

_Clarke was last out of the Mountain. Monty trailed behind to keep her company although he remained quiet. Bellamy was helping Kane lead everyone down and Clarke was glad for some distance from him as she feared he would want to talk about what happened, about what they had done. It felt like she had come up this very mountain in another lifetime. She'd been so focussed on rescuing her people she hadn't thought about what would happen afterwards, and she certainly hadn't thought it would end up like this. She hadn't even been able to begin to tell Lexa what she wanted once this was over, and then Lexa had suggested she come to Polis..._

_Clarke wondered savagely when Lexa would hear about what had happened and what her reaction would be. She probably wouldn't even care, Clarke mused. She had her people after all and that was the only thing that Lexa cared about. Clarke felt like a child for ever believing in her. Bellamy had doubted the alliance, Dante had seen right through it and exploited it, Octavia had berated her for trusting Lexa. Everyone had seen it, except for her. May we meet again...Clarke stifled a snort, that was never going to happen._

_'You're not coming back, are you?' Monty asked quietly._

_'No.' Clarke said, surprising herself and yet she was certain of her response._

_She had not thought about what the journey down the mountain would mean for her. She'd only thought about finishing the job and making sure her people were safe but she knew in her heart that Arkadia was not her home anymore. She could not go back and look at them all every day and be reminded of what she had done for them, of what they had all silently asked her to do. Since they had come down to the ground, everyone had looked to Clarke to come up with the answers. At every turn it was up to her. She had to come up with the plan to burn the grounders in the ring of fire and to face Lexa and convince her that a truce was in their best interests. Her mother was the Chancellor, and yet she had remained in TonDC rather than lead the fight against the Mountain Men. The victims of the missile needed help but she was the Chancellor and had actually wanted to lead, and so it was all left up to Clarke and when Lexa abandoned her, it was up to her again to come up with a plan. She did not want to return for fear of what they would next ask her for._

_'I'll miss you,' Monty replied._

_Clarke honestly didn't know if she could say the same._

* * *

They rolled the rover slowly through the open gates of Arkadia. The hairs on the back of Clarke's neck stood up. She had never known anywhere so quiet and it was unnerving. Tools were scattered around the floor as though people had just got up and left right in the middle of whatever task they were carrying out. Octavia paled when she saw a pool of blood. It was Lincoln's. Clarke swallowed down the bile that rose in her throat. Lincoln had been so selfless in trying to protect Octavia and his people but when Octavia was this devastated it was hard to know whether it had been worth it.

They broke off into groups, Clarke heading to engineering with Raven, Monty, Sinclair and Lexa to analyse the Flame in greater detail. Clarke rapidly felt frustrated at being assigned to guard the Flame. Every revelation seemed to make her doubt everything that had happened before. Lexa was able to provide the password in Latin although she had very little understanding of everything else surrounding it. Raven asked question after question but Lexa mostly responded with answers regarding how her people believe it carried the spirits of the Commanders. It took quite a while for either to make sense of the other; Lexa was concentrated upon the spirits and values but Raven only understood the technology.

Raven was still not convinced about whether Lexa could take the Flame once more. It was a machine designed for progress, and designed to be contained in numerous hosts and therefore going back into a previous host would offer it nothing new. It may well reject Lexa. Raven needed to confirm its design but that was unlikely to happen here as she would need time with the Flame itself but Clarke had to get to Luna. The longer they stayed in one place, the greater risk they were in so they may as well head to Luna who could take the Flame without fear.

Clarke's patience at the situation was quickly running out as Raven began to discuss its creator. It seemed so pointless now that Titus had removed the Flame. Lexa had been so weak and it was the only way to guarantee that the Flame did not fall to Ontari. If Lexa had died, or had been caught than the Flame would have been lost. Titus had followed whatever orders Lexa had issued and they had both counted upon the fact Clarke would go to any lengths to protect the Flame if it meant saving her people. Clarke had no choice but to leave Polis, and she wouldn't have been able to remove the Flame without Titus. It had all been for nothing, and now they were stuck chasing after Luna while ALIE was quite literally brainwashing people.

'I know nothing of this other programme.' Lexa commented to Raven.

'Like you didn't know you were an AI?' Clarke questioned cynically.

'Lexa wasn't and isn't an AI,' Raven cut across and there was a slightly reassuring note to her voice, 'her mind was just enhanced.'

'What do you doubt, Clarke?' Lexa asked.

'I-forget it,' Clarke dismissed, 'you guys keep working on that book and what it all means.'

Clarke walked out, pocketing the Flame and wanting nothing more than to get away from the damn questions surrounding it. Monty was quickly on her heels.

'If we destroy the City of Light? What will happen to my mother?' He asked.

Clarke opened her mouth to speak but found no words. She didn't know. Clarke didn't know if the people inside the chip could survive without the platform of the City of Light. She didn't understand how it all worked. She had her own doubts too for she did not want to end up murdering the Lexa in the chip. Monty had asked in the rover whether they were alive inside of the chip but to Clarke they must be. They had the same personalities, they were based on their cells and biology and history and that's what made a person. They were alive but they were trapped with their free will stolen. She was certain she could find a way to destroy ALIE without destroying them all. The Flame managed to be independent of ALIE after all.

The tinkling of a children's lullaby crept through the corridors. Monty looked terrified and Clarke clutched her pistol firmly. A carousel was playing, with the name 'Aaron' written on it. Realisation dawned upon Clarke before the pink smoke hit her lungs, before she pulled the intruder's mask off, she had known that Emerson would come for her. She broke free of his grip and Clarke sprinted outside to Bellamy.

'Emerson!' She panted and they ran around the building.

The lights died and the doors to engineering would not budge. Clarke screamed for Lexa and Raven over and over again while they pounded on the doors, Bellamy urging her to the outside entrance. If she hadn't stormed off... They opened the garage doors to be greeted with Sinclair's body. Clarke felt her knees weaken and struggle to remain upright, swallowing back her anger. If he had left Sinclair's body so casually then Lexa and the others had to be alive. He must have taken them for a reason. Clarke grabbed the radio once more to contact Emerson. This was how it always was between them. Messages passed back and forth through radios or through the glass of the airlock...and Clarke realised that he had to be there. It was fitting and it gave him control as it was bullet proof. Emerson only wanted her and Clarke would gladly comply to survive them all. She was not afraid of death; at this point, it might even be a relief.

'What the hell are you doing?' Bellamy asked, blocking Clarke's path.

'Saving them.'

Bellamy should have known it was a pointless question because that was all it ever came down to, saving them.

'When it's over take this to Luna,' she said, handing the Flame out to him. 'Raven will know what to do with it. Promise me.'

Bellamy looked at it as though it was nothing significant at all. To him, Clarke's life was what mattered but Clarke just wanted to protect them all.

'No,' he shook his head, 'you're out of your mind if you think I'm letting you do this alone.'

'Bellamy, this is my fault. I'm not letting anyone else die for my mistake, okay? So take it.' She demanded fiercely. 'He just wants me.'

'He just wants revenge.'

'Maybe he's right!' Clarke cried desperately. 'Maybe the point was that we were supposed to die. They were using forty eight of us for bone marrow but we killed over three hundred people. Twenty eight of them were children, Bellamy.'

'We were saving our people.'

'What if every choice I've made was wrong? Jasper can't stand to look at me, I left and Pike rose to the Chancellor, I let Emerson live in Polis. All of this is because of me.'

'Are you through? I don't know what happened between you and Emerson in Polis but I do know that letting him kill you here today is a stupid plan.'

'You got a better one?' Clarke asked incredulously.

'You distract him, I shoot him. Same as always.' He smiled.

Clarke nodded as she saw that he would not back down, but she vowed silently that there was no way in hell any of them were dying for her today.

Clarke had predicted it all along, that Emerson would use Octavia to draw Bellamy out. They were all handcuffed and gagged to the airlock. Clarke begged for them. She could see them fighting for each breath as Emerson drained the oxygen from the room. Lexa was closest to her and Emerson had known that she was her weakness, he wanted her to watch Lexa die. Lexa's wound was bleeding slightly and Clarke watched as he body constricted tighter as though the life was being squeezed out of it. All of them writhed in pain at the suffocation, fighting desperately against their handcuffs.

Clarke frantically lashed out at Emerson, pushing him backwards and tried to reach for the controls but he grabbed her and slammed her backwards, trying to choke her. Clarke spluttered for air as Emerson kept releasing her throat, wrestling with himself and the temptation to kill her now. Clarke could feel the same struggle for air her friends were, but Emerson dragged her to her feet and slammed her against the airlock once more and she choked on sobs as she saw they were all unconscious. She didn't know what to do. She had always depended on Lexa and now she was dying in front of her.

Anger ripped at her heart and she felt for the Flame, it would tear fire through him too.

'Ascende superius' she hissed and slammed the Flame into him.

Emerson shrieked in agony but Clarke didn't look back. She hammered on the controls so that the doors flew open and crawled towards Lexa, removing the gag. Lexa's eyes fluttered open and she panted heavily for air, while the others stirred around her. Emerson was still rolling in pain, his cries becoming more and more laboured as his life was slipping away. Clarke ignored his looks of terror and grabbed his keys before she rushed back to Lexa and undid the cuffs. She grabbed at Lexa's shirt and checked the wound but it was only bleeding lightly and would easily stop soon. She ran back to the now dead Emerson and grabbed the Flame, placing it back in its box. She sighed audibly in relief and met Lexa's gaze who only nodded and they both set to freeing the others.

Clarke checked everyone over swiftly while Bellamy and Octavia went to arrange the death ritual. Octavia looked as though she couldn't bear to stand another second in Arkadia. Raven agreed that Sinclair should also be joined with fire, just like Finn had. Clarke wished that Raven could be spared more loss, and also more physical trauma. Her leg was still causing her great pain, her shoulder had been caused more damage after being tied up in the airlock and just a few days ago Raven had slit her own wrists. Frankly, Clarke didn't know how Raven was still alive.

They gathered outside for the lighting of the fire. Clarke had never heard Octavia weep like she had. She couldn't ever imagine Octavia not crying again such was the strength of her pain. The force of it ripped through Octavia. She could remember a time when Octavia had told her that they'd have to get used to people dying but they had not ever been able to reconcile themselves to that fate. It was all they ever fought against.

'Using the Flame like that was a good plan.' Lexa said quietly.

'You gave me the idea.' Clarke replied. 'You always protect me.'

'I did not protect you today.' Lexa contradicted. 'You were right about Emerson.'

'We did what we thought was right at the time. Blood must not have blood was right.' Clarke offered; it was true that had Emerson died that day then he could not have wrought such havoc in Arkadia but she did not want Lexa to feel guilty when there was no way to know it could have ended up like that.

Octavia lit the fire and orange engulfed Lincoln and Sinclair.

'Yu gonplei ste odon.' They all murmured.

Clarke stared into the fire, subconsciously feeling for the Flame and that it was secure. She felt Lexa's eyes upon her. One day they may all be burned like this. Their bodies were all marked by ageing, at the very least, if not by war. Yet, as long as the Flame survived then it would always hold Lexa.

Octavia was eager to live. She was in visible pain just by being at Arkadia. Raven, Monty, Harper, Miller and Brian had decided to stay behind. Clarke was most upset to say goodbye to Raven and Monty for she was closest to them and had just gotten to see them again after so long. Before Clarke got in the car, Raven grabbed her into a tight hug.

'I wish you could come,' Clarke admitted.

'Me too.' Raven sighed, pulling away. 'At this point you're basically the sister I never wanted,'

Clarke couldn't stop herself from laughing.

'I think my mother would have preferred you,' Clarke muttered.

'She wouldn't,' Raven smiled and she grabbed Clarke again before she turned to the car, 'hey, don't get lost in the City of Light and what it all means. Try to remember what you hold onto here.' Raven gave an obvious look towards Lexa and Clarke smiled at her friend hoping to convey that she was trying, she really was trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know Lexa has been a bit quiet so far but you know, she is recovering from a bullet wound. She's definitely going to be more involved soon though, particularly when it comes to Luna. I personally can't wait to be done with the season 3 stuff and move beyond that!


	7. Shifting Equilibrium

The journey to Luna's was far from comfortable. The rover was used to taking occasional knocks but they were going flat out constantly over rough terrain and Clarke was reminded of just how bumpy it had been in the drop ship when they were headed to Earth.

Clarke had sat in the front as Bellamy drove. Her distance from the rest of the group emphasised by the fact that she spent much of her time checking on the Flame and staring at it intently as though if she looked at it long enough she would be able to figure out how to unlock its secrets. In the absence of Clarke's attention, Lexa had assumed the position of leader. It was not exactly a smooth transition; Octavia was hell bent on getting to Luna at any cost and Jasper would make any smart remark he could think of but even Clarke in her stupor recognised that they were listening to Lexa whenever she told them something about the ways of Luna's clan, what it had meant to live with the Flame or whenever she simply assured them that ALIE would be defeated. Even Bellamy was making an effort to converse with her.

'So you think Luna will accept the Flame?' Bellamy asked her.

Lexa looked thoughtful before answering.

'Luna fled because of what it meant to be commander- the death that was required. If she does not take it, everyone's lives will be at risk. This is the only way to protect everyone.'

'She'll take it even if I have to knock her out and shove it in her head myself.' Clarke grunted.

They pulled to stop, Bellamy cursing as a fallen tree blocked their way. They clambered out but Octavia silenced them as she heard rushing water. They had to be close to the sea. They ran through the thick bushes, emerging onto a plateau along the coast that was marked by stones. Octavia pulled out Lincoln's book and confirmed that this was the place. Clarke looked around but Lexa said it was pointless; Luna and her clan would not risk just staying in one spot along the shore and that there must be a way to signal for them here. Octavia would not be deterred and quickly made a fire. She snatched Lincoln's book from Bellamy's grasp when he went to see if there was any information on Luna that might help and once again Octavia balked at the idea that she needed him. Clarke watched him storm off into the distance.

'What's Luna like?' Clarke asked Lexa, while Octavia continued to prod the fire.

'I wouldn't know,' Lexa sighed, sitting down next to her and adjusting the blade she had taken from Arkadia so that she could get comfortable, 'it's been a long time since I last saw her.'

'So it won't be a happy reunion then?' Clarke teased lightly, knocking Lexa's shoulder with her own.

'People who run away generally do not appreciate being dragged back.'

'Oh, so you've finally learnt then?' Clarke asked playfully.

'That is one thing you do not regret.' Lexa challenged smugly and Clarke just bit her tongue, laughing lightly.

'If you had stayed at Arkadia, would you have taken the chip to the City of Light?'

Lexa's gaze was full of concern as they both shuddered at the memory of just how broken Clarke had been. Clarke had been so desperate to want to go back and change things, but the one point that she had pinned all of the blame on had been Lexa leaving. She hated what she had done in the mountain but she had watched her mother get tortured for bone marrow and was about to watch her friends die. As much as she had agonised over whether it was the right thing, she knew in her heart that even if she was wrong she wouldn't change it.

Clarke turned to face Lexa slightly, narrowing her eyes.

'No,' she stated determinedly, 'I would never have passed up the opportunity to spit in your face.'

Clarke had to quickly stifle a laugh at the shocked look on Lexa's face when Octavia glared over at them.

'It feels wrong,' Clarke said, tone now uncertain, 'to just be sitting here when Ontari is hunting you.'

'We are waiting.' Lexa corrected.

'For answers that may never come.' Clarke muttered in frustration.

'They will.'

Clarke didn't understand how Lexa could always be so composed. Even at the door to the damn mountain she had no problems simply waiting for Raven and Wick to fulfil their task and take down the power while Clarke wanted to start beating her fists against it in frustration.

'Are you worried about Ontari?' Clarke asked; Lexa was the bravest person she knew but she'd been greatly weakened by the bullet wound and now it felt as though the world was uniting against them.

'No. May we meet again.' Lexa whispered darkly.

* * *

_'I know how to make a fire, Lexa.' Clarke groaned, struggling to resist rolling her eyes._

_Lexa had been insufferable all day. Clarke was furious that Lexa had thought her weak after what she had seen happen with Finn. Clarke was torn between being repulsed at how Lexa seemingly cared for no one and admiration that she should be able to carry such huge burdens while Clarke felt she was crumbling to pieces._

_'There,' Clarke said triumphantly at the newly lit fire, but she tried to keep the smugness out of her voice because Lexa was injured and still in pain._

_Lexa nodded but Clarke was sure she almost got another smile._

_'You should rest,' Clarke told her, 'I can take first watch.'_

_'I'm okay.' Lexa stated. 'So...how are your leaders chosen?'_

_'Lies, backstabbing and blackmailing usually.' Clarke joked but she noticed Lexa's gaze harden. 'There were elections on the Ark. Jaha was Chancellor then.'_

_'He seemed...' Lexa trailed off, apparently lost for words for the first time._

_'Yeah, that's Jaha.' Clarke replied._

_'He was popular as leader?'_

_Clarke shrugged._

_'Depends who you ask. The hundred don't exactly champion him given that he locked us up and was about to float us before he found another use for us.' Clarke smiled slyly. 'Didn't think you'd be working with a criminal?'_

_It was Lexa's turn to smile._

_'Did you think that would intimidate me?'_

_No, Clarke figured that a load of teenagers being arrested mostly for petty crimes such as drug use would hardly intimidate the Commander._

_'I was only arrested as they wanted to keep me quiet about the Ark dying anyway.' Clarke explained._

_'What does it mean to float someone?' Lexa asked after a pause._

_'They would put people to be executed into an airlock and then open the outside doors so they would be sucked into space.' Clarke found her voice was barely above a whisper._

_'Your father-?' Lexa asked tenderly._

_'Yes.' Clarke replied quieter still and then forced her voice to resume some semblance of strength. 'Anyway, since we landed it seems my mother and Kane have been fighting over the pin.'_

_'So how did you become their leader?'_

_Clarke hesitated a second because technically she wasn't. She'd never been officially given the title but while everyone floundered she had come up with the plan to make the alliance and truthfully, she'd been chosen as leader in the fight against the Mountain Men because Lexa looked to her. Lexa had never once asked Abby's opinion on any of it._

_'I guess my people chose me too.' Clarke answered, lying back and struggling to find any comfort at all._

_'Your mother seems...unhappy.' Lexa finished and Clarke snorted._

_'I told you we weren't close.' Clarke sighed. 'As long as we get our people back, I really don't care what she thinks.'_

_Her mother had not been thrilled at this turn of events. She didn't trust Lexa or the grounders at all and had seemed far less interested in rescuing the one hundred than Clarke. Abby's priority had simply been to get Clarke back but she should have known that would never be enough for her daughter. Clarke did not regret that they were now regularly at odds with one another. Truthfully, she saw it as little more than an unwanted distraction when she should be focused entirely on helping her friends._

_Silence engulfed them once more and Clarke found herself oddly at some sort of peace. Pauna had stopped banging against the cage, perhaps having given up for the night. She watched as the sky turned from orange to purple and darker still. She had been given a comfortable bed and decent food for the first time in her life at Mount Weather but even if they had been genuine, Clarke couldn't ever have seen herself wanting to stay there. It was too contained. There was a small part of her, beyond the terror and trepidation that came with each day, that was immensely proud that this was her life now._

_'Do you miss the sky?'_

_Clarke started slightly at the sound of Lexa's voice as she had almost forgotten that she wasn't alone._

_'Not even a little bit.'_

_'Really?' Lexa asked, glancing up at the stars._

_'I miss when my mother and I had a relationship. I miss my best friend Wells, but I don't miss life on the Ark. I spent all of my time drawing and painting the ground. Even our traditions were all based upon returning to the ground. Living among the stars really isn't as romantic as it sounds.'_

_'What traditions?'_

_'There's this one saying...' Clarke murmured. 'In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground...may we meet again.'_

_'May we meet again.' Lexa repeated quietly._

_Clarke pulled herself back up._

_'Okay, rest now. I'm wide awake so let me take first watch. You need the rest.' Clarke demanded and to her surprise Lexa acquiesced and lay down._

_Clarke kept the fire burning, certain that it would keep away any panthers but she doubted very much whether it could keep away the damn gorilla if it managed to break free. Everything remained quiet though, but for the odd bird, so Clarke let herself relax. Lexa was lying somewhat stiffly against the tree root. It was probably the only position that didn't irritate her arm as Clarke couldn't imagine anyone choosing to sleep like that under normal circumstances. Lexa hadn't been as completely intolerable as Clarke had imagined just hours before. The Commander irritated her beyond belief with her constant challenges. Lexa seemed determined to impart lessons about how to be a great leader but all Clarke cared about was getting her people home. It had also stung slightly that Lexa had sided with Quint, believing Bellamy would not be able to succeed in his mission._

_Clarke thought of little else than what would happen when they came face to face with the Mountain Men. She didn't doubt that Lexa would have the strength to do what needed to be done but she had lingering fears about herself. She had killed Finn for this. It had to work but Lexa was right; she had hesitated with Quint, she wanted to spare Anya who had beaten the hell out of her constantly, and she saved Lexa because she could not leave her to die. She wasn't thinking at all about her people then. It was just her instincts. She didn't know what possibility frightened her more: that she might not be able to do what she had to, or that she would._

* * *

'Wanheda, the peace maker.' Bellamy retorted and his voice trembled from anger and Clarke visibly flinched at the use of that name.

'I came to see if you were okay.' Clarke replied stiffly.

'Well, I don't need your help.'

Clarke nodded, but she did not leave. If Bellamy wanted her to go then he'd have to say so. She was sick and tired of just walking away. It was a moment before Bellamy spoke.

'Clarke, I've lost her.' He struggled to hold back tears.

'Give her time, Bellamy. There may be blood on your hands Bellamy but it's not Lincoln's.'

'Some of it is.' Bellamy admitted, his throat constricted with the effort not to cry.

'Maybe,' Clarke nodded, 'but you didn't want that to happen. You tried to stop it. Octavia will forgive you eventually. The question is: will you forgive yourself?'

'Forgiveness is hard for us.'

Clarke nodded. They'd never truly spoken about the mountain. Bellamy had screamed at her once, and about Lexa but that was it. There had been no quiet moments of acceptance of what they had done together. Even before Clarke left Arkadia, it felt as though Bellamy had yet to comprehend what they had done while Clarke wanted to die from the pain. They were months down the line now, fully aware of what it meant to shoulder that burden.

'I was so angry at you for leaving.' Bellamy stated.

'I was angry at me for ever coming back.' Clarke confessed and she saw the hurt in Bellamy's eyes. 'I just wanted it to be over. I didn't want to get sucked into another fight but they need us, both of us.'

Clarke looked out at the sea, the moonlight dancing over each wave.

'I don't want to feel that way anymore.' Bellamy told her.

'You know, you're not the only one trying to forgive yourself. Maybe we'll get that some day but we need each other Bellamy. What we're doing now...the only way we're going to pull this off is together.'

'You have Lexa.' He stated.

'I do, but I still need you too.' Clarke offered and she pulled him into a hug.

Bellamy felt weak in her arms as though he had long forgotten what any kind of comfort felt like. She pulled away, smiling at him. A tenuous peace was better than no peace at all. She needed to know Bellamy and Lexa would truly work together and not just be waiting for one to attack the other.

The echo of a dull thud broke Clarke from her thoughts and her and Bellamy tried to sprint back up to the beach but Clarke felt a body slam into her. Her face was forced into the sand so she could not scream and warn Lexa, and a gag was roughly shoved into her mouth. As she was pulled up she saw Bellamy was in exactly the same situation, held by his own grounder. If Clarke could have, she would have sworn at her own stupidity at allowing herself to be distracted. She was roughly pulled up and marched along the beach to where her friends were. However, as they neared the grounders slowed their pace as if unsure. They glanced around and Clarke realised they were looking to see where their companions were.

'Do not hurt them or I will kill your men! Bring them forward into the light!'

The two grounders pulled them towards the fire. Lexa emerged from the bushes holding one grounder hostage, with her blade at his throat while Jasper and Octavia emerged with their own hostage each. Clarke fought the urge to roll her eyes. They really should have known better to take on the Commander. Pride swelled in her chest at the fact that Lexa could so easily command any situation.

'Let them go and I will release your people.'

The grounders swiftly let go and Clarke fell to the floor, ripping her gag off. She jumped to her feet and spun around as Lexa pushed her grounder forward to his people and Octavia and Jasper followed suit.

'What do you want?'

'My name is Octavia of the Sky People and I seek safe passage.' Octavia declared.

Lexa took a deep breath as though trying to seek some patience.

'I must speak with Luna.'

'Lexa kom Trikru?' One of the grounders asked and Lexa nodded.

The grounders traded shocked looks before pulling out vials of a luminescent green liquid.

'It's safe passage.' One of the grounders explained.

Lexa and Octavia both swallowed theirs without hesitation while Clarke protested fearfully. Jasper soon followed them but quickly muttered an 'oh crap' as the two women fell to the floor. Jasper lost consciousness seconds after. Clarke dove to Lexa but the woman was still breathing, she was just unconscious. Clarke glared at her vial, knowing it was the only thing that would get her to Luna but a thousand suspicions ran through her mind. They would all be easy prey. Anything could happen to them but this was the only way. Reluctantly, Bellamy and Clarke both took their drinks and she quickly decided that she preferred Monty's moonshine.

* * *

_'Bellamy will be able to get in.' Clarke insisted._

_She knew that the grounders were expecting a plan and Lexa was staring at her as though her eyes were made of steel but Clarke was finding it increasingly difficult to focus on the plan. She went to lean over the model of the mountain but her arm slipped slightly and she just caught herself before she slammed into the stone table._

_'Leave.' Lexa ordered her people, her gaze not leaving Clarke and she waited until everyone had left before she addressed her. 'Are you drunk?'_

_Clarke groaned._

_'I think I drank too much of the not-poison.'_

_'You had almost half the bottle.' Lexa commented._

_'I needed you to believe me.'_

_'Perhaps you did not think that plan all the way through.' Lexa remarked but Clarke could tell she was fighting a smile._

_'I can live by the consequences of my actions.' Clarke chimed._

_'We can plan in the morning.' Lexa offered._

_Clarke groaned again._

_'Do you not wish to leave?' Lexa asked, brow furrowed in confusion._

_'My mother is outside.'_

_'You wish to hide from your mother?' Lexa asked, perplexed and somewhat bemused._

_'She thinks we're the same now because she murdered my father and I murdered Finn.' Clarke drawled._

_Lexa looked at her thoughtfully and Clarke found the urge to explain._

_'My dad knew the Ark was dying. The council told him not to tell anyone but he wasn't going to listen. My mother told Chancellor Jaha and he was executed.'_

_Clarke immediately regretted being so forthright with the Commander. Lexa had already warned her against holding any sort of attachments or love and here she was trying not to cry over her dead father. Lexa would think she was a child unfit to lead if this carried on. She wished she drank less._

_'Then we will stay.' Lexa said._

_'What?' Clarke shot her a confused look._

_'Until you are feeling better.' Lexa clarified and she grabbed a goblet and poured it full before handing it to Clarke. 'It's water.'_

_Clarke took it and sipped gratefully, confused as to why Lexa was being this kind. Clarke struggled to think of something to say. Without the focus on coming up with a plan or trying to convince Lexa not to kill her she was at a loss._

_'I'm sorry about Gustus.' She finally settled upon._

_'He served me well but now is the time to move forward. If we want to save our people we cannot afford to dwell on the past.'_

_Clarke grimaced. Suddenly, the Lexa she had come to know had returned and Clarke was baffled as to why it irritated her so much._


	8. To What Lengths

'Luna, we don't have time for this.' Lexa said bitingly, failing to keep her growing impatience under control.

Lexa and Luna had been arguing for several hours. Luna had not exactly been happy to see her again but Lexa was as impassive as ever. The fact that Luna had fled meant little to her, although it was proving useful now they had a Nightblood other than Ontari who could take the Flame. Jasper, Bellamy, Octavia and Clarke were waiting outside and Lexa could just imagine how restless Clarke was becoming having to listen to endless stories and performances. 

Floukru had not particularly endeared itself to Lexa either. Lexa had not sought to try to involve it much in any of their politics. Luna had made it quite clear that she would support peace and cooperation between the clans but that was it, and Lexa did not want anything else from them. In truth, she found Floukru's lack of engagement to be entirely self interested. If Luna truly believed in peace, she should have offered it to all grounders and not just walked away. It made Lexa deeply uncomfortable with the idea that Luna would take the Flame and become Heda, but in this crisis there was no other option. 

'Then why, Lexa, have you not taken the Flame again?' Luna asked eventually. 'Is this fight not worth your life?'

'There is no point in taking it if I die.' Lexa said through gritted teeth.

'Or is it because she could not bear it?' Luna asked, looking through the window and Lexa knew her attention was focused on Clarke.

'Luna, our people will all be lost.'

'If we have to commit murder to save something, is it worth saving at all?' Luna asked, still looking out of the window. 

'We must do what needs to be done. Your way would leave thousands of people to fall and become nothing more than playthings for evil.' Lexa snapped.

'Where is Titus?' Luna asked suddenly. 

'Dead by now.' Lexa answered, her voice wavering only slightly. 

'I'm sorry,' she said, finally turning to face her, 'you were his favourite.'

'If you are sorry than complete your duty to the Flame, and to your people.' 

'Why did you bring her here?'

'Clarke is the new Flame Keeper.' Lexa sighed, in exasperation. 

'You brought Wanheda here.' Luna stated, her voice little more than a seething whisper. 'I have heard the stories. Wanheda who murdered an entire civilisation, and you brought her here to a place where causalities of war seek solace and healing?'

'She saved her people, and now she is trying to save yours while you do nothing.' Lexa replied icily.

'I will not become what you require.' Luna said, taking a few steps away from Lexa.

'Your righteousness will lead to murder. They will suffer and die because of you.' Lexa retorted hotly .

'Not by my hand.'

'Yes! Because you would rather save yourself than your people!' Lexa shouted and Luna scoffed. 

'Those people that travelled with you are broken. The boy can barely stand to look at your love. Wanheda is dangerous. She has nothing but fear. All she knows now is to murder. If they are the result of sacrifice then I must ask if you really consider it worth it?' Luna asked in a low voice.

'Clarke is more than that.' Lexa hissed. 'Clarke was the one who begged to end blood must have blood.'

'And has she sworn her life by it?'

Lexa turned away in frustration. Clarke had killed Emerson but only to save them. That was the price that life had demanded. 

'I'm sorry, Lexa, but I cannot help you down this path.' 

Lexa gave her a hard stare. Luna was just as self interested as she had remembered her to be. Titus had always fought with Luna because she always questioned the teachings and her responsibility to her people. Luna had hated being a Nightblood and she had let everyone know it; while everyone else shouldered the responsibility, Luna threw it in everyone's faces. 

The door opened, slamming slightly against the wall and Clarke marched in.

'Well?' Clarke demanded, speaking only to Lexa as though Luna was not present. 

Lexa did not answer but simply stared at the leader of Floukru. Luna would not waver.

'You're the only one left!' Clarke shouted, turning to Luna.

'Then you must find another way.' Luna said calmly. 

Lexa caught the flash of anger in Clarke's eyes and knew what was going to happen before she had the chance to lunge forwards. Clarke's arm shot out but Luna twisted in round and kicked her leg beneath Clarke's knees so she slammed into the floor, knocking the wind out of her. Lexa surged forwards at Luna, she dodged one blow from Luna but in the time it had taken, Luna had pulled out a knife, grabbed Lexa's neck and held it to her throat. Lexa winced at the effort it had taken, her stomach tight with pain. Resentment rampaged through her that she was still weak from the shooting. 

'You see, Clarke?' Luna whispered to the girl who struggled to stand. 'I did not flee the conclave because I was a coward. I killed my own brother and I vowed never to take another life. I was not scared Lexa would win, I knew I would.' 

Luna pushed Lexa back from her.

'You will leave. You will receive your belongings when you are away from here.' 

* * *

_ 'You are fine now, Heda.' The healer bowed and exited her room.  _

_ Lexa had nothing more than a couple of scrapes after he match with Roan. Her left hand was the most sore after having grabbed Roan's blade to try to force it away from her. Lexa had not been particularly worried prior to the fight. She was confident in her abilities but she knew well how it could end. Clarke's distress had been difficult to witness, but Lexa had to remind herself more than once not to read too much into it. Clarke's concern was for her people, and Clarke had only just held a knife at her throat. _

_ It was Clarke's instincts to want to save people and she could not let her own hopes confuse the situation. Clarke had told her once she wasn't ready for to be with her, and that was before Lexa had betrayed her. Clarke had left almost as soon as Lexa had won her fight. Lexa turned to speak to her but Clarke had disappeared back into the crowd. Clarke's interest had left the second she saw the result of the fight. However, Lexa had been surprised at the lengths to which Clarke had gone to try to stop the bout. Clarke had gone to Nia with a shambolic plan to try to poison her. The use of the blade interested her; it seemed to be Clarke's preferred method right now and she suspected that led back to Roan. Lexa knew that Clarke must have had help to smuggle a knife into her room, and her guards had watched Clarke in Polis that afternoon approach Roan prior to the bout. Of course, she would go to him first to try to stop Nia. Roan must have been behind Clarke's poor attempt to slit her throat.  _

_ Roan's motives were not difficult to discern; he merely wanted to go home. Nia ruled with an iron will, and she spared no sentiment for those closest to her. No doubt Ontari was raised in a similar manner but while Roan's ruthless streak was the result of a defeated and weary soul that wanted to escape, Ontari might well be as ambitious as Nia, particularly because no doubt the Nightblood would have received Nia's personal attention. Nia had greater ambitions than raising a son to be heir to Azgeda's throne, she wanted the Coalition and Ontari was the way to that end. Ontari would have been trained by Nia herself. Ontari had been the one to act as body guard and had foiled Clarke after all. _

_ Lexa exhaled audibly in frustration...Clarke. The plan was disastrous. Even if it had worked Clarke hadn't spared a moment's thought as to how it would look if Nia died before the contest. Clarke had planned everything so meticulously when they were facing the Mountain Men, and now she appeared to be lurching from situation to situation on nothing more than fear and wild instinct. It was a reckless way to live. _

_ Lexa could have thanked Nia's scheming ways, however. It had been what had kept Clarke alive. Many people would have killed Clarke on the spot for such an attempt of murder but Lexa knew Nia would have kept Clarke alive long enough to play the strongest card she had. Nia had wanted Clarke's head before she directly challenged Lexa because she was not yet ready to face her. When the challenge arose, Clarke lost her immediate use. Nia would not have predicted Lexa's actions after beating Roan and no doubt her dubious faith in her son would have meant that her next step to undermine Lexa would be then to kill Clarke. Nia always planned her moves in advance and pouring the black blood on Clarke's face was more than a warning about her hold on the Coalition. By slaying the Ice Queen Lexa had avenged Costia and saved Clarke.  _

_ Still, Clarke's life was not yet safe. Her people both feared and longed for the power of Wanheda. It made her a constant target. The only way Clarke would be safe would be under Lexa's protection and the protection of the spirits of the commanders.  _

_ 'Lexa...' Titus broke her thoughts and she turned to acknowledge him. _

_ 'Well?' She enquired.  _

_ 'King Roan has agreed that if he discovers Ontari has set foot within the walls of Polis before your death he will have her executed.'  _

_ Lexa nodded.  _

_ 'I also spoke with Ontari as you requested.'  _

_ Lexa shot him an inquisitive look. He appeared strained, and not just from the day's events but for what lay ahead.  _

_ 'She was Nia's protégé. Her hatred for you burns strongly and for Clarke also.'  _

_ Lexa half nodded. She had expected nothing less.  _

_ 'She will not be able to get within Polis.' Titus tried to reassure her, obviously reading her concerned expression.  _

_ 'It would not be impossible for her to find a way in.' Lexa commented; the city was a life force of activity and it made it far easier for those evading detection to slip inside the city's walls. _

_ 'She alone would not be able to enter the tower.'  _

_ Lexa understood how he could view it as an impossible task but Lexa was certain that this would not be the end of it. Roan would not have been able to convince Clarke to try to kill her if it meant Clarke would be arrested and executed. He must have been able to find inside support, probably to buy off the guards. Lexa spared Titus this musing; he already hated Clarke and still believed her death would be the end of matters. It was not a point of debate she wished to go over again. She had won admiration back for how she had handled the conflict today but Lexa knew that the underlying tensions would not go away. Many of her people hated Skaikru and resented Wanheda. Their faith was also not yet restored in Lexa either. _

_ 'She still troubles you?' Titus prompted Lexa from her silence.  _

_ 'She does not trouble you?' Lexa questioned. 'Ontari threatens everything. She was not trained with the other Nightbloods. She has not received your lessons. Nia was never concerned with doing what was best for all the clans, merely Azgeda.'  _

_ 'Exactly, she was not trained here.' Titus urged her. 'She will not be chosen to be the next commander!'  _

_ 'But she may be. She learnt at the hand of Nia. I know Nia's games, do you think Ontari would enter into a conclave fairly?' Lexa asked cynically. 'She will do whatever it takes to receive the advantage; that is all she has been taught.'  _

_ 'Then have her executed.' Titus said simply. 'Nia broke traditions by not having Ontari trained here. Her existence goes against everything that we have stood for and believed in. She was raised to destabilise all that we have worked for. Her existence is treachery.' _

_ 'I will not execute someone for being born.' Lexa replied, her eyes blazing.  _

_ 'Then what do you suggest, Heda?' Titus asked quieter, sensing that he had crossed a line.  _

_ Lexa paced for several moments around her room. She stopped at her table and ran a light finger over the sketchbook she had bought Clarke. Clarke could barely contain her excitement at seeing Polis so teaming with artists earlier. Lexa thought that if Clarke were to feel settled she should at least be allowed some comforts, as much as the young woman kept trying to punish herself. Lexa knew she needed to find a way to bring them peace. She would not allow all that she had worked towards to be threatened by this new revelation of the Nightblood.  _

_ She resumed her pacing before finally stopping to a halt in front of Titus and shrugging. _

_ 'If Nia did not care to respect our traditions then why should we uphold them for her Nightblood?' Lexa asked. _

_ 'Heda?'  _

_ 'Your vow to The Flame would seek to ensure it is protected within the worthy commander and not a potential thief to its powers, would it not?'  _

_ 'Heda,' Titus began softly, 'what do you ask of me?'  _

_ 'If the time should come where I am not able to protect the Flame -alive or dead- it is imperative that it does not fall into Ontari's hands.'  _

_ 'Heda, the Flame is safe with you.' _

_ 'Right now, it is, but there may come a time when it is not and I will not have it fall to Ontari out of complacency or a false sense of security on my part. Her existence threatens everything now.' Lexa concluded. 'Ontari would see Ice Nation alone rise and would likely wipe out Skaikru.'  _

_ 'Is this to protect Skaikru?' Titus questioned slowly.  _

_ 'It is to protect all of them.' Lexa assured him. 'The Coalition will fail if a Heda decides to lift their own people on the shoulders of the rest.' _

_ 'And what of Clarke?' Titus asked. _

_ 'What of Clarke?' Lexa asked tiredly. _

_ 'Is she to play a role in this plan?' _

_ 'There is no reason for Clarke to know of the Flame yet. We have just secured peace. If Ontari does attempt to take it for herself then you will find an ally in Clarke. The Nightbloods have all sworn their loyalty to Skaikru so Clarke will do all that is in her power to see that one of them receives the Flame.' _

_ 'She does put her people first.' Titus replied, both grudgingly and pointedly. _

_ 'She does.' Lexa agreed. _

_ 'Are you in agreement then that Ontari must not be allowed the Flame?' _

_ 'I will do all that I can, Heda.' Titus promised. _

_ 'I know that you will.' Lexa offered kindly. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I figured it was about time we got to see a bit more of Lexa. The next few chapters may diverge from the show canon a little bit more and then as I say, I have my own plan for beyond s3. As ever, I love feedback/comments. I'm sorry if my replies are slow, it's just my laptop access isn't great at the moment as I'm swamped with work but I will get round to them all!


	9. Shattered Plans

Clarke pounded her fists hopelessly against the freighter container door, only stopping when her knuckles were bleeding. After that, she kicked it repeatedly while screaming for Luna.

'Clarke!' Lexa shouted but Clarke ignored her.

Lexa grabbed Clarke's arm and pulled her back before she could resume her beating of the door.

'She has the Flame!' Clarke cried out.

'And she will return it. She has no interest in it.'

Clarke shrieked and anger and resumed her ferocious attack on the door that would not budge.

* * *

_Lexa paced the length of her tent. It had been hours of waiting. They were not far from Camp Jaha and Lexa had been sure to monitor their retreat from the mountain, except that it never came. Lexa thought Clarke would be forced back but she had not returned to her home. Lexa's unease grew with each passing moment. Surely Clarke could not have found a way in...but what if Clarke had been so recklessly stubborn as to stay? The Mountain Men would not have hesitated to snatch her if they felt they were now secure enough to begin to venture once more outside of their walls._

_Indra entered the tent, face tight as though trying immensely to keep her expression as neutral as possible and Lexa thought she could guess why; Lincoln had disappeared mysteriously into the night. Indra had grown close to Octavia and Lincoln would not rest until she was safe. She had no proof of her suspicions however, and she did not seek to find any._

_'Indra?'_

_'Nyko has returned. He has spoken with Lincoln.' Indra informed her._

_'Let him in.' Lexa responded._

_Nyko entered looking solemn. He had suffered greatly with recent events; Finn had massacred his village and the missile had injured or killed many who had survived the boy's attack. Yet still Nyko seemed to have little hostility towards Skaikru in general, much like his friend Lincoln._

_'Well, have they returned?' Lexa asked._

_Nyko nodded._

_'They have returned to Arkadia.'_

_'They abandoned the name "Camp Jaha" for good?' Indra asked._

_Lexa held up her hand to quell her._

_'That hardly matters now.'_

_Lexa did not care how Skaikru referred to their home. It did not surprise her that the change had taken place though after all Clarke had informed her of Jaha._

_'They have accepted their people are lost?' Lexa asked, her heart felt tight at the loss Clarke would be feeling; she had always been more concerned with her people than with herself._

_'Not quite.' Nyko replied quietly._

_Lexa shot him a curious look._

_'They plan to return and attack again?'_

_Lexa knew too well the depths to which Clarke's stubbornness ran._

_'They do not need to.' Nyko replied. 'Their people are safe.'_

_'How can this be?' Indra asked quickly but Nyko's gaze never left Lexa's._

_'By the time Lincoln got there, the Mountain Men all lay dead.'_

_'How?' Lexa said, stilling completely._

_Dread poured over her and she begged the spirits that it was not what she knew in her heart._

_'The girl, Clarke, she found a way inside and irradiated them.'_

_Lexa let out a shaky breath, and turned quickly away from Indra and Nyko. Clarke had gone to such lengths to try to make sure that not everyone died. Clarke had insisted at every turn that only the leadership was taken out and now they were all dead. Clarke had been forced to kill everyone, even the children._

_Lexa swallowed thickly, blinking back tears. Clarke was so fierce, proud and courageous. Lexa had seen it. Lexa had been inspired by it, enamoured by it and beneath it all Clarke was not yet tainted with what it meant to live on the ground. Clarke had truly believed that peace was possible, murder avoidable. It was why she had so boldly marched into Lexa's tent with the dream of a truce..._

_At least it was over, Lexa tried to console herself. Clarke may never forgive her but she was now safe. Her people would care for her and perhaps she could begin to recover from this._

_'What now of Lincoln?' Indra asked tentatively, not daring to move closer to Lexa._

_Lexa hesitated. It took her a second to remember why she should care about Lincoln. She schooled her expression into one of control before turning to Indra and found her voice quite steady._

_'He disobeyed a direct command, jeopardising the lives of his people. If he is caught outside of Arkadia's walls he will be subject to death. He may find shelter there.'_

_Lexa did not see this as a particular problem for Lincoln. He had made it clear that his affections lay with the sky people anyway._

_'And Skaikru?'_

_'Peace. The threat of the Mountain has passed but that is no reason for us to go to war. We must learn to live side by side. They may have two days to focus on tending to their wounded but then I will speak with Clarke and discuss the terms.'_

_'Commander, I apologise but you cannot.' Nyko interjected._

_'I cannot what?' Lexa asked dangerously._

_'Clarke, she did not return to her people. She has left.' Nyko explained to Lexa's horror._

_'She abandoned her people?' Lexa asked, aghast._

_Fear rushed through her. Clarke did not understand the culture of her people. What she had done in the Mountain would make her a legend, and a target. Nia had resented the alliance with Skaikru from the beginning, and had no doubt heard the many whispers that Lexa had grown close to her. Clarke's life may well be in more danger now than it was mere hours before._

_'Shall I send scouts to look for her?' Indra asked, reading Lexa's distress._

_'No,' Lexa said quickly; they needed to tread carefully for Nia would have eyes everywhere, 'she should be safe within Trikru borders. She cannot have gone far yet. Nyko, have you told anyone else of Clarke's disappearance?'_

_'No, I came straight to Indra and then to you.' Nyko confirmed._

_'Nobody hears of this.'_

_'People will realise-' Indra started but Lexa cut across._

_'Yes, and soon. Clarke attracted a lot of attention but any delays in Azgeda looking for her are beneficial. Sending people flocking after her could also draw far too much attention and allow her to fall into the wrong hands.'_

_'Yes, Heda.' Indra replied, looking uncertain._

_'We leave now for Polis.' Lexa stated; she had one person in mind for this most important task._

* * *

Luna had not wavered, even after being tortured and seeing her love die. Clarke's fury had been pushed almost to breaking point but even she sensed it was futile to challenge it further. Luna had bested her physically and there was nothing Clarke could do.

Lexa would not allow Clarke to keep being haunted by her fear and desperation to have to save everyone. It was folly when they already had a willing Nightblood.

* * *

_'Bring him in.' Lexa ordered._

_Prince Roan was brought into the throne room in chains. His eyes seemed inquisitive, he knew that he must have some purpose as to why she would summon him._

_'I will lift your banishment,' Lexa started quickly; there was little time for games, 'if you will find the one now called Wanheda.'_

_The new name that Clarke had been given left a sour taste in her mouth. She wondered if Clarke knew yet that she was being referred to as 'the Commander of Death'. Lexa closed her eyes briefly at the thought and at the pain that would cause Clarke._

_'The Griffin girl?'_

_Lexa nodded._

_'Your Queen is hunting her. You will make sure that Ice Nation does not capture her.' Lexa commanded._

_'If she's that important then why just send me?' Roan asked cynically._

_'Because an army after her would draw too much attention. Clarke could be anywhere. I do not even know if she remains in Trikru territory. Alerting everyone to the fact she is wanted could put her in greater danger. You can slip through our lands easily and find the blonde girl from the sky. You are desperate enough to do anything to lift your banishment.'_

_Roan gave a small smile._

_'You're right.'_

_'She is not to be harmed.' Lexa pressed firmly._

_'Of course.' Roan agreed._

_Lexa dismissed him with haste. She prayed this plan would work and that Clarke could continue to evade the eyes of Ice Nation until Roan had a chance to catch her._

* * *

They woke up back on the stony plateau. Lexa moved across to Clarke who was pulling herself up and checked that she was okay. Octavia looked around and let out a scream that pierced the air. They had been abandoned. Lexa had expected nothing else of Luna. She cared only for her values, it appeared. 

Clarke stared across the shore and Lexa did not miss the tears that silently fell. 

'This is not the end.' Lexa promised her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be very Clexa focused! It's a bit of a break in the plot line before we get to the finale sop hopefully you'll enjoy!


	10. The Precipice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is a reason this story is rated M. From here on out expect more sex, violence and I suppose the ALIE chip is basically a rubbish type of drug. This is a bit of a break from the plot as there's a lot of heavy stuff coming.

Clarke could have screamed in anger along with Octavia. She didn't understand. How could Luna just walk away like that? She had seen the power of ALIE and what she was capable of and yet still Luna did nothing.

They were stuck. They needed to find another Nightblood. Perhaps it was possible that there was one that still existed. Clarke could believe that any parent would want to spare their child the life of a Nightblood; most were raised to be slaughtered. Only one Nightblood each generation survived and so it was plausible that somewhere one was hidden away.

'We have to leave.' Clarke said quickly. 'We need to find another Nightblood.'

'Where?' Octavia asked hopelessly.

'Anywhere. There must be one that survives somewhere.'

'Clarke, we can't just wander from village to village looking for someone with black blood.' Bellamy begged for reason. 'We need to go back to Arkadia and protect our friends.'

'It'll be a pointless fight without a Nightblood. We don't have a choice.'

'Yes, we do.' Lexa said but Clarke ignored her.

'We need a new Nightblood.' Clarke repeated adamantly.

'Clarke, ALIE followed us to Luna. We can't lead her to a grounder village. They'll be killed. I won't let you destroy another grounder village.' Octavia argued.

'If we don't stop her there won't be any grounder villages left! We won't have a home to go back to!' Clarke retorted.

'I will take the Flame.' Lexa stated.

'No!' Clarke hissed. 'You could die-'

'I would still be able to remain in the City of Light.'

'The imprint of you would but what if that isn't enough? We wouldn't be able to tell if you had taken ALIE down. You'd be there with no support and you'd end up dead. It's a pointless task!'

'It's our only choice!' Lexa shouted.

'No, it's not! There has to be another Nightblood -there has to-there is.' Clarke said suddenly, eyes alight. 'Ontari.'

'Clarke,' Lexa started unsurely.

'She is a Nightblood. Damn it! She's been right there this entire time.'

'Going to Polis is suicide.' Bellamy told her.

'It's the only way to stop ALIE.'

'No, it isn't. I will take the Flame.' Lexa repeated.

'It's not happening!' Clarke snarled. 'I'm the Flame keeper now this is the plan!'

Clarke stormed off, crashing through the bushes. Lexa came charging after her.

'I just need like one minute without them-' Clarke cried in frustration, panting heavily.

Clarke only slowed when she was sure they were out of earshot, even with the roar of the crashing waves along the coast. She should have taken time to appreciate the ground more. She had always been curious about what the Earth sounded like, about what it would be like to hear the waves of the ocean and now she was here she couldn't settle. She just wanted to keep moving again. Clarke couldn't stand to see all of their doubts. They never came up with the plan. It was always left up to her. They asked her time and again to save them and when she did, they hated her for it. Jasper had wanted saving from the Mountain Men and now he despised her, Octavia had begged Clarke to protect her brother while he was inside the mountain and Clarke had done everything to keep his position a secret, even at the cost of lives in TonDC, and yet Octavia hated her too. She was sick of this burden. She was tired of trying to save people who never did anything to save themselves, except as her to shoulder it all.

Lexa was the only one who didn't hold her in contempt. It was only ever Lexa who understood but now Lexa was staring at her with such concern that it made Clarke want to keep running. She didn't want to see that look in Lexa's eyes. She didn't want anyone to see what she was turning into.

'I can't lose you-' Clarke's voice cracked.

It was a fight as tough as trying to grasp the waves and hold the water in her bare hands. Floukru had abandoned them, only Ontari and Lexa were left of the Nightbloods and everyone else had been chipped. Clarke was rapidly running out of options and ALIE was stalking them everywhere. She couldn't even just run with Lexa, just run and hide because ALIE was bound to find them. Lexa stepped forward and took Clarke's hands in her own.

'It could save everyone.'

'Or it could just take you from me too.' Clarke argued. 'They have my mother already. I know what it means to put everything onto Ontari but this is the best way.'

'The chances of us being caught, Clarke.'

'Come on, Lexa. When have I ever not come up with a plan?' Clarke asked, a slight smile in place but then her voice trembled and tears started to fall. 'I'm being ripped apart. I left my mother in Arkadia. I left Lincoln to die. I can't stop thinking about Titus shooting you.'

She traced around the edge of where she could feel Lexa's bandages.

'You're too attached to the Flame, Clarke and what you think it means.' Lexa replied softly, brushing away Clarke's tears.

'What do I think it means?'

'Immortality.' Lexa answered simply. 'You see a way that I can live forever. Your fear of my death is driving you to impossible ends. You know what is the right thing to do.'

Clarke met Lexa's gaze, her eyes blazing with a hungry stubbornness.

'The right thing is to protect Heda, and finish the usurper.' Clarke challenged.

'Your fear of death is clouding your decisions.' Lexa shook her head. 'Clarke, there's more to life than just surviving...'

'Which is a wonderful privilege if you aren't constantly facing the threat of death.' Clarke retorted. 'Your people need you. I need you. Please, trust me still.'

'Your emotions-'

'-give me strength.' Clarke finished and she leaned forwards to meet Lexa's lips with her own.

Lexa instantly pulled Clarke closer to her and wrapped her arms around her. Clarke smiled against her lips, sure that as much as Lexa wanted her it was a sign of protectiveness after all that had happened. Lexa slowly deepened the kiss and Clarke sighed full of longing. It had been too long since Polis. It had been far too long since they had shared a quiet moment together.

Clarke gently lowered Lexa onto the grass. Lexa stared up at her with the same expression she had worn in Polis. Clarke felt as though she was held as everything in those eyes. Clarke had reacted by desperately kissing her back in Polis so as not to see as she was sure she would bleed to death from it, to be looked at with such powerful reverence when she was destined to leave. Now she tried to smile at Lexa; they were in this together now, but Clarke found her throat tight and her eyes stinging.

'Clarke-'

'Don't talk.' Clarke silenced her by raising her finger to Lexa's lips.

Lexa kissed it softly over and over and then brought Clarke's palm to her lips. Clarke's lips crashed against Lexa's, for she was not yet ready to see all that Lexa offered by such loving gestures and by the emotion that lay behind her eyes. She wanted to burrow herself completely in Lexa's existence. She wanted everything else to fade around them, because nothing should be able to ever threaten something this beautiful. Yet nothing was ever safe. She wasn't sure what that word meant anymore. All around her people died. She took a ragged breath, her chest constricted in terror as she thought of Lexa.

'Clarke,' Lexa breathed, sensing her turmoil.

'I'm okay. With you, I'm okay.' Clarke promised, kissing her tenderly.

She couldn't run from Lexa, not now. She wouldn't even know where to turn. Clarke didn't know at what point Lexa had become everything to her, perhaps it was some point between being chased by that damn gorilla or when Lexa had kissed her for the first time but she found that she didn't even care. This was all that mattered and all the doubts and questions that had surrounded them could go to hell.

Clarke gently pulled Lexa's shirt above her head and discarded it on the forest floor, quickly and softly removing the rest of her clothes too. She stared at the woman beneath her, her finger once more tracing the bandage.

'I'm okay.' Lexa promised, leaning up to place a gentle kiss on Clarke's lips.

Clarke lowered them both back down and hastened the kiss, desperate to lose herself in Lexa. Lexa pulled at Clarke's clothes but Clarke was too focused on how Lexa writhed beneath her when she lightly sucked on her pulse point.

'Clarke,' Lexa gasped, with lust and impatience, 'your clothes.'

Clarke giggled into her neck.

'Sorry.'

She shed them quickly and returned to Lexa's lips, lying flush against Lexa. Lexa's fingers danced over Clarke's back and Clarke shivered into the touch. She grabbed Lexa's hands and pinned them above her head, pulling back and smiling slightly.

_Let me revel in you_.

Lexa smiled, content to let Clarke set the pace. Clarke kissed her again, sucking and biting on Lexa's bottom lip and the woman below moaned. Clarke's need began to dominate at the sound. The kiss became more desperate and ardent, their tongues seeking more. Lexa continued to writhe beneath Clarke while pulling them ever closer. Clarke lowered herself down Lexa's body and pressed kisses to her neck and collar bone, occasionally sucking and biting, carefully listening to Lexa's whimpers and moans for direction.

Clarke traced her hands down Lexa's hands, to her forearms and biceps. She wanted to feel every inch of Lexa beneath her. Clarke could feel Lexa's chest struggling with her breathing as the woman was trying not to pant as Clarke kissed around the swell of her breasts.

'Clarke...'

Clarke understood the need behind the silent request and kissed along Lexa's breast before gently taking it in her mouth. Lexa arched her back and Clarke sucked with more force as Lexa cried out. Her hands ran along Lexa's taut stomach, slipping lower to squeeze Lexa's thighs, Lexa's hips immediately bucking response. Clarke's fingers nimbly climbed up and down the inside of Lexa's thighs, visibly frustrating the woman no end. She could feel the heat radiating off Lexa, and already they were both coated in a thin layer of sweat.

Clarke pulled away again, sitting up slightly to take the vision of Lexa in. Her hands continued their movements over Lexa's thighs but after a few seconds, Lexa opened her eyes and stared up at Clarke quizzically and clearly missing her overwhelming presence.

'You're beautiful.' Clarke whispered.

Lexa visibly swallowed and she gave Clarke the most full and sincere smile she had ever seen. She loved any smile Lexa ever gave her. Clarke felt like Lexa only ever smiled for her, and she never wanted her theory to be proved wrong. Lexa pulled Clarke back down with her insistently and Clarke laughed once more.

'You're ridiculous...' Clarke chuckled.

Lexa hummed softly in disagreement.

'...and so wet...' Clarke murmured, her finger brushing through Lexa's soaked folds.

The response was immediate. Lexa moaned loudly and arched her back once more, clinging onto Clarke tightly. Clarke let her fingers lazily pleasure Lexa, never enough to satisfy.

'Lexa...'

Lexa was struggling now to remain in control and Clarke was sure she could have watched her like this forever.

'I want to taste you...'

'Yes...' Lexa breathed as she leaned back into Clarke touch.

Clarke slowly slid down Lexa's body, applying tender kisses before she lowered herself. Lexa's scent was overwhelming and she struggled not to lose control as she felt so uncomfortably aroused. She pressed a soft kiss to Lexa's centre and the woman beneath her let out a raspy curse. It wasn't enough and Clarke wanted to bury herself in Lexa's ecstasy. The taste of Lexa made her shudder in appreciation and she moaned aloud at her taste. She looked up quickly to make sure she had not embarrassed Lexa but her eyes were clamped shut and she was lost to Clarke.

Clarke trembled with desire as she returned her focus to Lexa's centre. She circled her tongue around Lexa's clit and began to moan loudly with Lexa, her hands running up and down Lexa's body and squeezing and teasing lightly. One of Lexa's hands came down to capture her own and it was the most intimate act that Clarke had ever experienced. Clarke sucked on Lexa's clit and felt Lexa's body constrict with tension. Lexa continued to hold Clarke's hand tightly as Clarke carried her through her orgasm, and Lexa collapsed back down on the forest floor.

Clarke pulled herself back up and lay down next to her. Lexa's hair was full of tangles and her breaths were coming sharp and quick. Clarke found Lexa's eyes stunning; they were a brighter shade of green than anything that could be found in the forest.

'Are you okay?' Clarke asked, smiling. Lexa gave a shaky laugh.

'More than okay.' She sighed.

Lexa rolled her thumb over Clarke's body and Clarke sighed in contentment.

'I like seeing you like this.' Clarke confessed.

'I'm sure.' Lexa laughed and Clarke rolled her eyes.

'I meant peaceful.'

'Of course you did.' Clarke sighed in mock exasperation, lying her head down on the grass and watching Lexa and trying to keep any bitterness at bay at the fact they were soon to leave.

'Are you really okay?' Lexa asked.

'Yeah,' Clarke smiled sadly, 'back to the fight now.'

'Not yet.' Lexa said huskily and rolling to straddle Clarke.


	11. What Lies Ahead

'They will be wondering where we are.' Lexa said, pulling on her clothes.

Clarke popped her shirt over her head and rolled her eyes at Lexa. She doubted very much whether her friends wanted to talk to her right now anyway.

'Octavia will have told them to leave us.'

'Octavia?' Lexa asked, eyes narrowed.

Clarke hesitated a second, realising she had told Octavia more about her feelings than she had Lexa.

'She...knows we're...we worked together.' Clarke stuttered but she ploughed on when Lexa continued to look confused. 'We work together and talk things through. She probably thought you would be able to reason with me best, especially when things with Bellamy are still tense.'

To Clarke's immense relief, Lexa accepted this without question. Lexa always accepted whatever Clarke offered her and Clarke knew that because of that, she should not feel as terrified at the prospect of finally telling Lexa just how much she cared about her. Clarke took a breath and wondered where on Earth she would begin but then Lexa moved towards her and she froze.

'You have a leaf in your hair.' Lexa noticed, fighting a smile as she brushed it out of Clarke's hair.

'Thank you,' Clarke said softly, leaning into Lexa's touch.

Clarke's eyes darted to Lexa's lips but before she could consider closing the distance, Lexa had thrown her against the ground.

'What the-'

Lexa was moving so quickly Clarke didn't have a chance to register what was going on. Lexa heaved her back up and Clarke looked at her in shock. Clarke turned around to where a thud echoed to see a grounder collapse to the floor with an arrow through his chest.

'You can come out Roan,' Lexa sighed.

Roan emerged, a bow by his side.

'I'm here for the Flame and you're in no state to challenge me this time, Lexa' Roan called out.

'I don't need to.' Lexa responded simply.

'Oh really? Why is that?'

'Put the bow down.' Bellamy said, pointing a gun to Roan's back.

Roan sighed and dropped it.

'Good timing.' Lexa commented dryly.

'If you both hadn't wandered off you wouldn't have put your lives at risk twice.' Bellamy replied.

Clarke tried not to consider just how long Bellamy had been in the area.

'Is he chipped?'

'Do you think he would have saved me if he was?' Clarke retorted.

'Only one way to find out.' Bellamy said before shooting Roan in the arm, who fell back in agony.

'Bellamy- what are you doing?' Clarke demanded.

'He's in pain.' Bellamy shrugged.

'And you don't think that he could just be pretending? The people who took the chips lost their free will, not intelligence.' Lexa pointed out.

'Then we should kill him.' Bellamy said.

'No!' Clarke shouted. 'He can help us get to Ontari.'

'Why would I do that?' Roan spat.

'Because we have what she wants. This programme, this chip has taken over everyone's mind. If we don't get the Flame to her everyone will be lost.' Clarke replied.

'And you're good with this plan?' Bellamy challenged Lexa. 'With her walking into Polis, getting herself killed for you?'

Clarke looked at Lexa pleadingly. She had to trust her. They could pull this off.

'I trust Clarke. It is her decision as the Flame Keeper. Ontari is the best plan we have.' Lexa answered steadily, not taking her eyes off Bellamy.

* * *

_Finn was sitting on the bench, looking smaller than she had ever seen him. It was strange for Finn to be hiding away but it was keeping him safe, at least while her mother, Jaha and Kane worked out a plan. Clarke entered the room and jumped up beside him, offering a small smile._

_'What did you think of her?' Finn asked._

_'Who?' Clarke asked, confused._

_'The Commander.'_

_Clarke rolled her eyes._

_'She asked for your death so of course we're best friends.' She replied sarcastically._

_'I meant how she leads. We need her now to save our friends.' Finn said._

_'I don't know.' Clarke replied. 'I don't know her really.'_

_'You'll find a way to save them.'_

_'We will.' Clarke corrected quietly._

_Silence drifted over them. Clarke didn't know what to say and she suspected Finn had so much to say he couldn't think of where to start. They'd been through everything together. Even when they had argued over Raven and then Bellamy's decision to bring guns to the camp, they always talked. Clarke was never left with this feeling that there was just nothing left to say. Finn scared her too. She couldn't stop thinking about what he had done for her but what scared her more was the idea that she could one day be that person, that they could all be so desperate that they would be driven to commit such a terrible act. If even Finn had broken then what hope did any of them have?_

_'Thanks, Princess.' Finn offered her a weak smile and knocked her shoulder with his own while Clarke grimaced at the resurrection of that nickname. 'Still don't like being called "Princess"?'_

_'It is the worst nickname ever created.' Clarke replied._

_'Careful, you could end up with an even worse one.' Finn warned her teasingly._

_'Not possible.' Clarke huffed and Finn laughed._

_Clarke turned around at the sound of footsteps to see Raven hovering at the door. Clarke acknowledged this as her cue to leave but Raven grabbed her wrist before she could pass her._

_'Having doubts?' Raven asked in a quiet voice so that Finn couldn't hear._

_'No,' Clarke stammered, confused._

_'It's just, you could have walked back into camp and not said anything. Nobody would know they wanted Finn.' Raven stated._

_'And then the grounders would have attacked and we'd all be dead. We need a plan, Raven.'_

_'I hope that's all it is.'_

_'Of course it is,' Clarke said, stung, 'it's Finn. He's one of us.'_

* * *

Clarke splashed water on her face, hoping the cold would soothe her senses and anxiety. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot, perhaps from the drugs that Luna had supplied. She sighed and dried her face, exiting the bathroom.

Her quarters in Arkadia were no bigger than her old cell. There were also sweaters strewn about the place which did not belong to her. She could only assume that one of the survivors from Farm Station had moved on as they had been short of space. She could have bet her mother had reacted well to that. Her chest stabbed at the thought of her mother being put to God knows what ends thanks to ALIE. Perhaps Kane was looking out for her; he had gone to Polis to talk to Ontari. He was strong so there was a chance he had not taken the chip. The door to her room opened and Octavia stepped in.

'Hey,' Clarke said.

'Wanheda...'

Clarke groaned.

'I hate that name.'

'I know,' Octavia replied, 'it's kind of ironic given that you've never shown any control when it comes to death.'

Clarke offered half a nod.

'You were quiet on the way back.' Octavia said, and Clarke was momentarily surprised that Octavia would have noticed.

'I was checking Roan's wound.' Clarke dismissed.

'Yeah...I saw...' Octavia drawled. 'I also saw the look on your face when Bellamy went with you and Lexa just now to talk Roan into helping. You don't trust him.'

'I trust him with my life.' Clarke replied tersely.

'You don't trust him with Lexa's.' Octavia responded. 'You know what he's become. He didn't think twice about hurting Roan because he's a grounder, just like he didn't care about locking Lincoln up.'

'I know what we've both become but we need each other.' Clarke dismissed.

'And what happens the next time Bellamy thinks Lexa is a danger to you?' Octavia challenged and Clarke felt her heart clench.

She should have known Bellamy had changed. She had stood right next to him when he hadn't hesitated to point the gun at Niylah. It was easy to believe that Pike had dragged him along to slaughter the army because Bellamy had spared Indra. She wasn't there to witness it which it meant that she could accept the best version of events her mind could come up with. It was easier to push the blame on someone else but seeing how he shot Roan so casually and with such disregard had terrified her. He had been the one to tell her that Finn had changed and that he was dangerous because of all that had happened.

In his anger, Bellamy viewed that he was capable and right in deciding which lives mattered, and who could be spared. He hadn't wanted Lincoln to die but that was merely because of Octavia. He didn't have a problem seeing any other grounder as the enemy by default. She saw with the way he looked at Lexa that he wouldn't hesitate to kill her if that's what he felt he needed to do.

She shut her eyes, trying to force away the memory of Lexa falling after Titus shot her. She needed to focus on what lay ahead. They needed to be united if they were going to pull this off.

'What do you want, Octavia?' Clarke asked eventually.

'Just don't end up like me.' Octavia suggested, turning away.

'Wait,' Clarke called and Octavia consented to turn back toward her, 'will you help me look out for her? Please, Octavia. I can't lose her.'

'You have her in the Flame.' Octavia spat.

It was true. She would always have some form of Lexa while Octavia had been left with nothing but the Lexa in the chip was out of her grasp, and in constant danger from ALIE.

'I need her here.'

'I'll keep an eye on her,' Octavia promised, giving in, 'but at some point they will make you choose.'

Clarke knew that she already had.

* * *

_Clarke had yet again struggled to sleep and so at dawn she found herself on the bottom floor of the tower and in the kitchens. She had come to know some of the people that served Lexa fairly well. Lexa had not kept her entirely in isolation, she'd simply made sure that Clarke couldn't run off again and Clarke had quickly found herself bored by her tactic of sulking in her quarters._

_'I thought seeing Lexa yesterday flatten Roan on his back would have been enough to give you a good night's sleep, Clarke.' Elka said, as she prepared breakfast for all of the inhabitants in the tower._

_Clarke grimaced and pulled up a seat at the huge bench to watch her work. Elka had been a rare source of comfort; she never referred to her as 'Wanheda' and seemed to read through her moods quite quickly._

_'It worked out well for my people,' Clarke supplied but Elka scoffed._

_'Back to that old chestnut?'_

_Clarke groaned, resting her head on the bench. In truth, these moments reminded her of being back with her family on the Ark._

_'In all the time I have served Lexa, she has never paid anyone half as much attention.'_

_Clarke continued to pretend that she was giving herself up to exhaustion and tried to pay no attention to the words._

_Lexa had left her completely enraged and perplexed yesterday. Clarke was desperate to stop the fight but Lexa ignored her, and then Clarke had felt nothing but nerves and terror when Lexa visited her that night. She had to keep reminding herself that Lexa had made her feelings clear; she had left her and Clarke couldn't afford to be distracted._

_The pair remained quiet as cooks came and went. Clarke found the occasional bangs and splashes quite comforting. They only ceased (and rather abruptly) when Lexa walked in. Everyone jumped to their attention and Clarke finally raised her head at the sudden silence, and had to stop herself from gaping. She hadn't expected Lexa to follow her down here._

_'Clarke, we need to get ready to leave soon.' Lexa said softly._

_Clarke however, continued to stare and felt as though she had missed out on a rather important conversation._

_'For Arkadia, to present Queen Nia's body to your leadership to show that justice has been done.' Lexa explained when Clarke continued to look baffled._

_Oh, Arkadia, Clarke thought, excellent._

_'We have to leave now?' Clarke asked, although in her heart she knew there was no way to delay._

_'If we want to make it before nightfall.'_

_'Can't you just send some of your warriors to deliver her?' Clarke asked half-heartedly._

_'Clarke-'_

_'Oh, fine, I'm coming.' Clarke snapped and she followed Lexa to the stables._

_Clarke came to a halt as she drew closer, scrutinising the horses as Lexa hopped on her steed._

_'Where is my horse?' Clarke asked and it was Lexa's turn to look confused as she gestured to the one next to her._

_'No,' Clarke said, annoyed, 'Ronc, my horse that you gave me in TonDC.'_

_'Oh,' Lexa replied, taken aback, 'in TonDC, I suppose.'_

_'So you left my horse too then,' Clarke muttered before she clambered up on her replacement, without looking at Lexa._

_They set off in silence although Clarke felt Lexa shoot her a furtive look every few minutes. Clarke knew she was being slightly unfair but she was inexplicably angry at Lexa for how yesterday unfolded and she was sick of feeling on the back foot every time they were together._

_Her anxiety was also growing as they headed towards Arkadia. She was terrified to see her friends again. She didn't know how Jasper would react after she had murdered Maya, Octavia hated her and she had probably told Bellamy all about the missile that struck TonDC. Her mother had also clearly been furious at her decision to stay in Polis and Clarke had felt as though she had been under a spotlight when she last saw her. Abby had looked as if she had known exactly why she wanted to stay and it wasn't for her people but because she couldn't walk away from Lexa, and that was the most uncomfortable truth in all of this mess._

_Despite having being dragged into Polis, she know longed for nothing else other than to turn her new horse around. She wondered if Lexa was worried that she might decide to stay at Arkadia after seeing her loved ones. She chanced a glance across but Lexa seemed as elegant as ever while Clarke felt vaguely nauseous. Having a body carried behind them did not do anything to settle Clarke's feeling of unease._

_'What was she like?' Clarke asked suddenly. 'Costia.'_

_Lexa looked at Clarke once again as though she had lost her mind today and Clarke wondered whether she would answer._

_'She was...happy,' Lexa finally settled upon, '...she liked to laugh and dance. She was carefree.'_

_Clarke thought they sounded nothing alike. It was even harder to picture Lexa with someone who didn't seem to wear responsibility but perhaps Lexa had been different all those years ago. Now she was more used to what was expected of her._

_'Were you close with Anya?' Clarke asked._

_Lexa smiled softly. 'Yes.'_

_Clarke nodded. She still felt guilt over Anya's death which she found particularly ironic given that Anya had been one of the few lives she'd gone out of her way to try to save._

_Lexa shot her a quizzical look but Clarke did not answer it. It felt right to at least try to learn about Lexa's history and the people who had been important to her when Clarke was on her way back to those who mattered to her and she hoped desperately, that they still saw her as a friend._


	12. Question of Trust

Of all her plans, Clarke was the least confident in this. Not that she would let anyone know it. She could tell Lexa was looking at her every few seconds for a hint of hesitancy. Octavia thought every plan she ever came up with was the definition of absurd, or perhaps even a sign of her destabilised mental health. Bellamy would follow her into hell itself because she asked it of him, but the question remained whether he would slaughter everyone close to him to do it. The one slight positive from their band of people was that Jasper had decided to remain at Arkadia. It would make things a lot easier without him constantly criticising and doubting her, although he had been surprisingly quiet since they had left Luna.

A tiny morsel of her was grateful to be returning to Polis. She was surprised to find how much affection she regarded it with. The drop ship and Arkadia held little sentimental value; it was the people that had made those places special but she had come to love the way of life at Polis and it had felt intimate to be able to observe Lexa's daily life and be part of a world that was such an intrinsic part to her life. There was regret too. She had left Aden in her haste to save Lexa. His death was on her conscience now also. Ontari had desperately wanted power and Clarke should have immediately made the connection that his life would be in danger. She had forgotten him though, lost to the battle to save Lexa. She had let down a boy who had earnestly sworn to protect her people, and he had also became a friend she had grown quite fond of.

They arrived at the outskirts of Polis by nightfall. The tower looked menacing against the nightsky and from this distance, but perhaps Clarke was projecting her own anxieties at what lay ahead; for it was in the night of Polis where she had drawn comfort from Lexa against the horrors of all that she had done. It had not seemed such a sinister place then.

'This is where we split up.' Roan said. 'The entrance to the tunnel is right over there.'

Clarke looked to Lexa and she gave a small nod in confirmation. Clarke had felt a connection with Roan; they had both been cast as outsiders to their people (either by their own or others' actions) and yet had both been called upon to lead. Still, that did not mean she would unquestioningly trust him, particularly when so much was at stake.

'We know where it is.' Bellamy snapped.

Bellamy's hostility towards Roan was also making her grateful of the fact that at least she would be separating the two of them. She wasn't sure they would both survive otherwise.

'I'm going to need the Flame.' Roan said pointedly and Clarke knew it had been coming.

The only way to draw Ontari out was by making her see for herself the one thing she wanted most. Roan was right; it would not be much of a trap without the bait. Clarke was in a ferocious battle with herself. She glanced between Lexa and Bellamy, not sure she dare leave them but she could not part with the Flame. If something happened to the Flame, they all would be lost anyway, and the Lexa inside it would be too. Octavia sensed her restlessness and caught her eye, giving a small nod which Clarke took to mean as confirmation that she would hold true to her promise and watch over Lexa.

'Fine,' Clarke told him, holding out the Flame, 'but I'm coming with you.'

'No way, that is not the plan.' Bellamy shot.

'It is now.' Clarke said, with finality.

'Clarke, you will be walking into a city full of people controlled by ALIE.' Lexa spoke slowly and Clarke had to stop herself rolling her eyes because the idea that she would have forgotten that fact was laughable.

'I'm the Flame Keeper. It's my responsibility. I'm not letting that out of my sight.'

She spoke vehemently and directly to Bellamy, hoping he would finally realise just why it meant so much but she could tell that in his eyes there lay no understanding so she turned back to Roan.

'Only Lexa and I know the pass phrase. So you can tell them that without me, Ontari can't ascend.'

Clarke allowed herself a second of feeling triumphant because Lexa's life now was certainly safe, at least from ALIE, but this bubble of hope was quickly pierced as she considered that they might just settle for keeping one of them alive...

'You'll need to look like my prisoner.'

Clarke couldn't help but smile at him. It was certainly fitting as it had been how she had been so unceremoniously dragged into Polis the first time.

'Okay,' Clarke agreed.

'Wait a second!' Bellamy interjected. 'Give us a minute.'

He looked pointedly at Roan and even threw Lexa a glance. While Roan gave them their space, Lexa did not. Lexa looked at Clarke to see whether she should leave but Clarke gave a small shake of her head which caused Bellamy to visibly clench his jaw in irritation.

'Come on, Clarke. You're really willing to trust that guy with your life?'

Clarke didn't miss how he hissed over the words, how his distrust was etched in the fact that Roan was a grounder. She tried to keep her face as neutral as possible so as not to display her distaste for such attitudes. She didn't need him to doubt her now. Last time had been disastrous, he'd arrested her and went about trying to kill more grounders. Roan had clearly heard and Clarke kept his eyes on him.

'No,' she said before finally turning her gaze upon Bellamy, 'but you'll be covering us the entire time and I trust you.'

Bellamy seemed to relent at those soothing words. Clarke felt a pang of guilt at the half lie. She would trust Bellamy to do anything for her, but she also resented how that would include shooting Lexa if she so much as looked at her the wrong way.

'And I trust Lexa. She knows Polis better than anyone. She can take you through the tunnels. Working together, we can do this.'

Clarke didn't give Bellamy a chance to respond. She walked up to Roan and he put a gag in her mouth and bound her hands. At least it was less of a struggle this time. Lexa eyed Roan with distrust. Roan's priority was still Ice Nation, while Clarke and Lexa's was first with their people and then ensuring Lexa returned as the Commander and Trikru led the Coalition.

'No harm will come to her.' Roan promised.

'That was supposed to be true the last time.' Lexa remarked.

'This time she has come easy.'

Clarke was glad that she had let Roan gag her already. She watched Lexa and felt this was the safest way for her not to say something absurd as they finally parted ways. Lexa shot her a last look full of emotions, before she disappeared into the dark of the tunnels, swiftly followed by Bellamy and Octavia. Her only regret was not making Octavia swear her loyalty with blood.

* * *

Lexa sprinted her way through the tunnels, ignoring the slight stabbing in her abdomen. She still was not at full strength but her steely will would not allow for any sign of weakness when her people and Clarke needed her.

Lexa slowed them to a halt whenever she knew guards were waiting and waited for them to pass through other tunnels. She did not dare even try to snap their necks. ALIE would be able to recognise their deaths and find out what positions they were in. It meant that it was a journey full of stops and starts but Roan was adept in any situation, and Clarke more so, and she allowed this to be enough to set aside any lingering doubts over the plan. Being separated from Clarke in the midst of a fight however, caused her some unease. She scolded herself at this when she had left Clarke to face the Mountain Men alone, although she had not anticipated the end result of that action. Nevertheless, Clarke had been a necessary presence for her; even when they vehemently disagreed or Clarke sought to challenge her at every turn. She really had been infuriating before the bout with Roan but still Lexa swelled with joy at the fact Clarke had gone so far to try to protect her.

She found her own concern for Clarke was not distracting. Her focus was sharper, her poise more purposeful, her determination raging so that she had no doubts that whatever lay ahead on this day it would be a challenge they would rise to. Clarke had been right; love was not weakness.

'How come you know this place so well?' Bellamy muttered to her.

'The Nightbloods are trained for every situation: assassination attempts, coup plots, the tower falling. We know how to escape and avoid detection.' Lexa answered.

'So Ontari knows about this place?'

'Ontari was not trained here, although it does not matter. ALIE will have learnt the ways of Polis from its citizens who know this city intimately. Our strength is not with our knowledge but the element of surprise. They do not expect us.'

Bellamy nodded.

They carried on for quarter of a mile before he spoke again.

'You don't care about her like us.' He said finally. 'She's with the hundred. She's one of us.'

'Clarke is more than that.' Lexa responded.

It was the truth. Clarke was more than the sum of her parts. She was more than a woman who had learnt to care for people from her mother, she was more than a criminal sent down to die, she was more even than their leader. Clarke made her own alliances and protected her loved ones fiercely no matter where their original allegiances may have lain. Lexa knew that Clarke did not simply see 'grounder' when she looked at her. Lexa had stood with her when she had told Lincoln he was her people as he was held hostage by one of the Mountain Men. Clarke was defined by her capacity to love, and it was not limited by concepts of clans or kin.

Lexa guided them to a good spot that had a clear view of the square of the city. Bellamy would easily be able to take any shots from here. He had panicked slightly that they could not see Clarke immediately but Lexa assured him Roan would be taking his time. He knew this city almost as well as her and he would know how long to dawdle until he was sure they were through the tunnels.

'Are we ever going to be done fighting?' Lexa heard Brian ask Miller as they set up their weapons.

'Hell, yes.' Miller replied confidently.

'Get a little house along the lake and you're going to plant corn.'

Miller laughed for a moment.

'And raise chickens.' Brian replied.

'Yeah,' Miller sighed happily, 'and grow old.'

Lexa felt her chest constrict slightly at those words. When she had led Clarke to Arkadia after the death of the Ice Queen she had been sure they would finally be able to live in peace. Now she wasn't sure she could even begin to imagine what that would be like. They always found themselves in the middle of conflict, and Clarke never strayed far from the threat of death. She remembered Clarke's words to her, that maybe one day they would owe nothing more to their people. After this, Lexa could only hope they had finally repaid whatever debt they held to their people.

Lexa saw Octavia standing almost ghost like at their words. She had not considered Lincoln's death much. The death of any member of Trikru troubled her but it was not a novel experience. Lincoln, to some extent, had chosen his fate long ago by embedding himself within Skaikru so thoroughly that when they turned against her people, he was always going to be left isolated. Lexa wondered perhaps whether she had done the same by refusing to follow blood must have blood. Titus had certainly came close to ensuring that her and Lincoln had shared the same fate as to die for love. What Octavia had went through pained her. She recognised the same look of grief on the young woman's face that she herself had once worn.

'Eleven o clock,' Bellamy suddenly said, 'Roan will signal when he sees Ontari. We wait until she's standing in front of them and then we launch the gas.'

'They are going to be holding their breath so we better move fast.' Brian stated.

'Clarke can handle it.' Lexa said, without wavering, watching her walk into the square with the same determination in her stance she always held.

* * *

Roan took his time. It was light by the time they made it into Polis. Clarke knew he was doing it to give Lexa and the others as much time as possible to get into position.

'When this is over Ontari will know you helped her.' Roan offered. 'You have my word.'

Clarke nodded.

She felt some gratitude at the sentiment even though they both knew her loyalties were with Lexa. Roan had never particularly seemed bloodthirsty or cruel. He just did whatever needed to be done. The idea of ever supporting Ontari after all that she had done did make her physically sick and that was something the gag only made worse. They continued on through the empty streets and Clarke's sense of foreboding grew. She had expected people to be upon them as soon as they entered through the gates.

'So much for the thousands of people.' Roan quipped.

There were only a dozen or so in the square and they were meditating. Clarke had seen Lexa do the same at Polis and once again it stung to realise how little she had known.

'I'm Roan. King of Azgeda.' Roan shouted. 'And I have what the Commander seeks.'

He held out the Flame and the mediators eyes all snapped forward yet they remained silent.

'I don't like what I'm sensing so if she wants it, she can come to me.' He sneered.

Jaha stepped out of the shadows and Clarke was surprised at the surge of hatred she still felt for the death of her father. She couldn't stand his audacity. If it wasn't for him they would not be in this mess. They had all suffered but he alone thought his suffering was worth more than theirs, just as he had always thought he could determine the value of life on the Ark. Wells would be disgusted by what he had done.

'Hello, Clarke.'

Clarke breathed heavily, wanting nothing more than to slit his throat and have done with it.

'Your mother will be so pleased to see you.'

Clarke struggled to resist taking a step back in fear. Of course her mother would be used against her, as Raven was used against her mother.

'Who are you? Where is Ontari?' Roan demanded.

His grip on the Flame never slackened.

'Not coming out.' Jaha answered. 'But you can give the Flame to me. I'll make sure she gets it.'

Jaha held out his hand but Roan clenched his fist around the Flame. Clarke looked to the tunnels.

'Your friends in the tunnel can't help you.' Jaha said. 'Now give me the Flame.'

They were trapped by a circle of chipped Skaikru members and grounders. Roan grabbed Clarke close and held a knife at her throat, threatening to slit it if they didn't back up. There was no gun shots or gas canisters thrown and Clarke felt more fear at that than the blade at her throat; Lexa and the others must have been caught. They were on their own. Roan was going to have to act quickly to get them out of this. Jaha however, wore a look of supreme unconcern. He knew everything. One of them must be chipped, Clarke guessed, and her thoughts immediately turned to Jasper. He had been with Luna when she was tortured. It was the only way. No one would betray them unless they were chipped.

Roan heavily pushed back against the people and pulled Clarke forward. They tried to sprint their way through the circle of people but Kane emerged shooting Roan. The Ice King fell to the floor, grunting and slowly dying. Kane had been a fool all along to think that Ontari would ever offer them peace but Clarke wondered in horror just what had pushed Kane so far that he had willingly taken the chip. Kane had always had strength that he mother and Jaha often lacked on the Ark. She could only begin to imagine the torture he had been put through.

Two grounders grabbed Clarke and dragged her through Polis before she could try to flee once more. Clarke knew she was being taken to Lexa's throne room. It would be where ALIE would want to exert her control. She kicked and shouted at her abductors but it mattered not. They towered above her and were unfazed by her attacks and her hands were still bound. She scolded herself for not realising that Jasper had been chipped. He had been right with Luna the entire time. He was out of their sight. She should never have just accepted that he was okay. But she could not show fear. Lexa's life was perhaps guaranteed by the fact she knew the pass phrase. ALIE may tire of one of them and use the other as a bargaining chip. She could not ask about the fate of Lexa or her friends. If she have any indication about her feelings towards them then ALIE would exploit it. ALIE had forced Raven to slit her own wrists just to break her mother and force her to take the chip. She would use the same method against Clarke for the password. Love is strength, love is strength, Clarke repeated silently as she was dragged through the tower. It was love that would allow her to stay strong. It was her love for her friends, for her people and for Lexa which meant that she could not stop or all would be lost. It did not matter what ALIE would do, she had no choice. She had to stay silent for all of their sakes.


	13. Holding Time

Something was wrong, Lexa could feel it. Polis should not have been so quiet. Clarke and Roan's journey had initially been quiet but soon Clarke was encircled by a group of people who were serving ALIE once she was in the square. There were no more than a dozen or so and the city remained still except for that. It was a group that seemed perfectly in control, as though they knew they needed no one else and that Clarke had nowhere to run. Clarke looked tense and not at all in control in comparison. Her head kept darting around. Something was wrong. Perhaps their plan had been found out.

Bellamy gave the orders to release the gas canisters but Lexa whipped around and saw a dozen men ready to enter their hide out. She drew her blade, kicking Miller out the way who was about to be lunged upon and slid it beneath the attacker's ribs. Bellamy and Octavia turned at the commotion. Bellamy did not shoot, not daring to in the close confines when Octavia had leapt forwards to help Lexa. Lexa easily took down three more men while Octavia struggled battling two, killing one but she fell back after the remaining enemy punched her in the face. Bellamy threw himself at her assailant with such force they fell against the wall, and the unnamed man's skull gave a dull crack against the wall. Lexa took down two more skilfully, but a third came up behind. Lexa turned ready to attack but the man simply fell to the ground, blood pouring from his back.

'Indra,' Lexa breathed.

'Heda,' Indra greeted, putting her own blade away.

Lexa turned to the window but Clarke was gone. The square was now empty except for Roan's body. Impatience and fear swept through her; they had to get to Clarke as they would surely begin their torture of her soon.

'What the hell are you doing here?' Bellamy shouted when he caught sight of Murphy in the shadows, along with Pike.

'Oh, surviving, same as always.' Murphy drawled with a slight smirk.

Lexa glanced at Pike, knowing that she would deal with him later but they would need his help if Clarke had now been taken.

'We have to get to Clarke. We can take the elevator up the tower.' Lexa stated quickly, already heading to the elevator.

'We have to hurry. They tortured everyone else to take the chip, who knows what they will do for the pass phrase.' Bellamy said as they rushed through the tunnels to get to the elevator shaft.

Clarke was stronger than all of them. Lexa had no doubt that Clarke would not reveal any information no matter what was done to her. As proud as Lexa was at that, her heart was pierced in fear but it was Clarke's knowledge that would keep her alive. They could not dispose of her until they got the answer, Lexa repeated to herself as both she and Indra led the way through the tunnels. She would not let this end the same way for Clarke as it had for Costia.

'Wanheda is supposed to stop this how?' Indra questioned, a slight hiss to her voice and Lexa was not sure if it was an attempt to remain as quiet as possible or whether it was a sign of anger.

Lexa didn't even know to begin to explain.

'We need Ontari to destroy ALIE.' She said simply.

'Ontari is one of them.' Indra replied, full of scepticism.

'I know.'

'And if this plan fails?' Indra asked.

'It will not.' Lexa answered coolly.

Lexa thought she heard Indra give a slight laugh but she could not be sure over the sound of their footsteps.

'Have you forgotten how she was when she returned to Polis?' Indra sneered.

Lexa bit back a retort. She did not have time for Indra's doubts and stubborn cynicism regarding Clarke. They had to focus.

'Do you have something to say, Indra?' Lexa asked, finally.

'You put your faith in someone so dangerous.' Indra noted.

'She saved her people.'

'Yes, her people and she will not hesitate to kill all of us for them. The girl is damaged and yet you follow her at every turn, breaking our traditions.' Indra spat each syllable as though even talking about Clarke was somehow offensive to her.

'We stopped a war and saved countless lives for both Trikru and Skaikru.' Lexa responded calmly.

'You trust the girl too much. Your orders to protect Skaikru left my brothers and sisters dead, and me with a bullet hole. When we returned to Polis, you made sure I was discarded so your agenda could go unchallenged.'

'They were my siblings too. I am also Trikru and I came to help you when you were shot, but you abandoned me when I was.' Lexa reminded her.

Indra did not look remotely like she had regretted leaving Lexa in that cave.

'I will help face this fight for Trikru but I will not follow you afterwards, Lexa. Clarke is your people, Octavia is mine.'

'You will leave Trikru?'

'You abandoned Trikru the day you listened to Clarke over your people.' Indra snarled.

* * *

_'Better, Lexa.' Anya smirked when their blades met and she pushed the younger girl back. 'You may take a break.'_

_Lexa returned her blade to its sheath and took a long drink from the water Anya offered her. She handed it back to Anya before sitting on a rock, her breathing still slightly quick and light beads of sweat were covering her face._

_'You did well.' Anya complimented._

_Lexa tried to offer her a smile but it quickly fell. It should have meant more; Anya was tough but fair on all of her seconds. It meant that when anyone received praise it was worthy._

_'What's wrong?' Anya demanded; she never asked._

_'When will I have to leave Trikru?' Lexa asked._

_Anya went to sit on the rock beside her. Lexa shifted slightly; Anya had never made much of an effort to be comforting before. Lexa admired her hugely but that simply made her realise the heaviness of the situation by such a gesture on Anya's part._

_'Maybe a year at most,' Anya answered finally, 'you've learnt almost everything you can from us. You're ready to fulfil your duties to our people and join the Nightblood initiates at Polis.'_

_Lexa swallowed thickly; trying to rid herself of emotion and the bitter words that threatened. She was supposed to remain in control always if she was ever to lead anyone._

_'It is an honour. It has been a long time since a Trikru Nightblood showed any promise.' Anya told her. 'Indra is proud.'_

_'Indra hates me.' Lexa muttered and Anya laughed._

_'She does not need to like you.' Anya spoke confidently. 'You need to learn from her, learn how to lead and then when you become the Commander she will follow you.'_

_Lexa allowed herself a small smile at the idea of Indra ever having to follow anything she said._

_'She thinks I'm weak.' Lexa admitted after a while; she had worried about this privately too. She was scared she would not be strong enough, for she knew what fate awaited any unworthy Nightbloods._

_'Then show her you are not.' Anya declared._

_Lexa kicked some stones beneath her feet and watched them roll across the dirt. It was hard to imagine leaving the quiet of the woods for the crowded streets of Polis. She had been there only once. Anya had taken her when Indra had allowed her to come when there was a meeting between the Trikru leader, the Commander and ambassador. Lexa had liked it well enough, for the little she was allowed to see as she had to remain at Anya's side and silent throughout the day but still, it was not home._

_'I know it feels like an unfair burden,' Anya began heavily, 'but there is a reason you were gifted with the Nightblood. The spirits have already marked you as special. You will be a great leader, Lexa kom Trikru.'_

* * *

Clarke was tied up in the throne room. She tried to find against her restraints but her throat met cool leather. It was not tight against her neck but she could only move her head a couple of centimetres at most. They had also taken her hooded jacket from her. She had been stripped of the ability to hide in the shadows as Wanheda.

Her eyes darted from Jaha, Ontari and her mother. If she had felt hatred at the sight of Jaha even that couldn't compare to Ontari. Ontari had forced Lexa out of Polis, her existence had threatened everything and she had cut off Aden's head. Yet Clarke only needed her until ALIE was defeated, and then there could be justice.

Clarke did not dare look at her mother. She was terrified that any hint of recognition in anyone she cared for would be used against her. It was a pointless task, ALIE had access to all of Abby's memories anyway. She would know just how much her mother mattered to her.

'I don't care what you do to me.' Clarke shouted. 'I will never give you the pass phrase.'

Abby laid out surgical tools and Clarke wondered sickeningly whether they were the ones she had left behind. Clarke's breaths were shorter and sharp and she blinked back tears. She could not show weakness for it would not matter. She would never stop in her hunt to finish ALIE. Abby walked up to her and Clarke eyed the surgical instrument she was carrying warily.

'Mom...'

'It doesn't have to hurt, sweetie. If you just tell us the pass phrase.'

Clarke shook her head, her first tears falling while her mother cut into her chest and she let out a scream of pain.

* * *

_Clarke gasped as her father caught her round the middle and lifted her in the air._

_'Put me down! Put me down!' She kicked and screamed, embarrassment flooding through her as Wells laughed loudly._

_Jake finally put her down and Clarke glared up at him._

_'Hey, you were picking on Wells!' Jake held his hands up innocently and Clarke noticed her mother trying not to laugh as she prepared dinner._

_'He cheated! The knight can't move that many places!' Clarke shouted again, pointing at the chessboard on the table._

_'I did not!' Wells said between gasps as he was still in a rage of giggles._

_'You both suck.' Clarke grumbled._

_'What was that?' Abby said shortly._

_'Nothing, Mom.'_

_Abby looked at Clarke sternly before she returned to dinner._

_'Your father will be here soon, Wells.' Abby told him._

_Wells just nodded._

_'I know he misses you since he joined the Council.' Jake told him, and Clarke went to join them on the sofa while Abby continued working at the bench behind them. 'But it'll be pretty cool for you one day when he is Chancellor.'_

_Wells pulled a face._

_'The Council is boring.'_

_Jake laughed and even Clarke smiled, despite the fact she still felt aggrieved at their game of chess._

_'You don't want to join the Council like your dad then when you're older?' Jake asked._

_'No! I want to be a guard!' Wells swelled importantly and Clarke stifled a giggle at the idea._

_'Well, what do you want to be, Clarke?' Wells shot at her, annoyed as she had not done a good job at hiding her amusement._

_'A doctor.' Clarke answered instantly._

_Jake covered his heart with his hands dramatically._

_'Not an engineer like your old man, kiddo?'_

_'I want to save people, Dad,' Clarke told him, 'like Mom. You don't get to do that.'_

_'I keep the Ark-'_

_'Jake,' Abby shot across, 'leave her be. You'd be an amazing doctor, honey.'_

_'Oh now, you stick up for her!' Jake replied theatrically._

_'Face it, Dad. Your job is too boring. I'll be the greatest doctor the Ark ever had and I'll save everyone!' Clarke declared, jumping up on the sofa and earning a swift reprimand from her mother._

* * *

Clarke cried out weakly, her energy abandoning her. Her mother's knowledge was working well against her. Abby had managed to slice holes through her body missing vital organs like her lungs. It was enough to cause her agony, but not put her life in danger. Clarke lifted her head back against the rod that was holding her in place and took steadying breaths. Blood was tickling her skin and soaking her clothes. She shut her eyes for a moment, hoping that she could summon up any ounce of strength she had left but she could do nothing but feel pain. She had never felt so helpless.

'This won't work.' Abby said, turning to an empty space that Clarke knew was where ALIE stood. 'She's too strong. Her friends are her weakness. Start with Lexa.'

Clarke visibly paled, her eyes wide and Abby turned back to her.

'Did you think I didn't know why you wanted to remain in Polis?'

Desperation ebbed away at her. Lexa could not have been caught. The plan had been disastrous, admittedly, but this was Lexa. Lexa who always saved her. Lexa who knew Polis better than anyone. She had to have gotten away. Even if she gave in and told them the pass phrase, Lexa would remain a danger due to her Nightblood status and both of them would have lost their use. They were as good as dead if either of them passed on the information to ALIE.

'She won't tell you anything either.' Clarke spat. 'I will not stop.'

'We only need one of you, Clarke. You can't stop this. Do you really want to die by me, for a pointless endeavour?'

'I die for Heda.' Clarke hissed.

'And you will watch her die for you.' Abby replied, eyes glinting.

* * *

Lexa, Bellamy and Murphy crowded into the elevator leaving Indra, Pike and Octavia to pull the wheel to raise them through the tower. If Pike was still alive by the end of the day Lexa would be surprised, but she just hoped that Octavia could focus on what needed to be done or else Clarke might not make it.

Bellamy tapped his foot erratically against the floor as they climbed steadily upwards. Lexa glanced to her right at Murphy but he seemed entirely nonplussed by the situation.

'You look better than the last time I saw you.' He remarked.

Lexa looked at him in mild disbelief at his attempts to make conversation and he just shrugged. They swayed on their feet unsteadily as the elevator ground to a halt.

'Damn it. They must have company.' Bellamy cursed, looking at the floor beneath him as if hoping he could suddenly see down below.

Bangs rattled through the elevator door.

'We've got company.' Bellamy shouted and he pointed his gun at the door.

Slowly, the door was dragged open as ALIE's servants tried to force their way through. Bellamy hesitated to shoot them and one managed to throw the door open. Murphy grabbed a shock stick and hit as many as he could while Lexa surged forwards. She cut them down quickly and pushed them back, and she hurled herself back through the doors. Before Murphy could push them shut, a young servant Lexa recognised forced himself between the doors.

'Lexa, you know I was loyal. How I always did as Titus asked...'

Lexa looked at him quite expressionless.

'Titus detested you.'

Lexa grabbed her blade and ran it through his arm and he fell back in agony, as the doors closed and the elevator lunged upwards once more.

* * *

Clarke still struggled against her bonds and her leather collar but it was hopeless. The others had fallen silent, and Jaha was tying a rope. Clarke listened frantically but she could hear no footsteps outside. Perhaps Lexa had managed to evade detection and the rope was not for her...

Clarke stared at Jaha as he tied a noose. Her skin was cold and clammy, yet sweat drenched her back at the sight. Her mother moved towards her and tenderly cupped her cheek. Clarke allowed herself a shred of comfort at the contact.

'Don't worry, it's not for you.'

Clarke's eyes flicked between them all and yet still there were no footsteps.

_Please, not Lexa..._

Clarke watched as Jaha threw the rope over a beam and placed a stool below the noose. Lexa still wasn't here. It couldn't be, it couldn't be...

Clarke's heart seized in terror as her mother took the noose from Jaha and placed it around her own neck, stepping on the stool.

_No, no, not after Dad._

'Mom, please don't do this.' Clarke begged, tears falling once more. 'I know you can hear me. Don't let ALIE kill you.'

Her mother smiled at her with as much warmth as her words were cold.

'ALIE is not killing me. You are.'

Her mother dropped from the stool and Clarke watched in terror as her head fell back and her body dragged her down through the air. She heard a strange gurgling as her mother choked and the rope creaked as it swung. She fought again to try to get free but it was useless. She had never wanted this. She watched as her mother's body flailed, fighting for any oxygen it could get.

'I'm sorry.' Clarke cried quietly.

She could not give the pass phrase or they would all be dead.

Jaha picked up an iron rod.

'I understand.' Ontari said calmly and Clarke's eyes snapped to her as Jaha swung the rod at her head and the imposter of a Commander fell to the floor, black blood soaking the floor.

'No! Stop!' Clarke screamed.

Ontari was their last hope.

Footsteps thundered through the tower and Lexa burst through the door with Bellamy and Murphy in tow.

'Bellamy! Shoot him!' Clarke screamed frantically and Bellamy shot Jaha in the arm and he fell back rapidly away from Ontari.

Lexa and Murphy both ran to her mother and cut her down while Bellamy tried to free Clarke, hands fumbling slightly over the collar.

'Is she breathing?' Clarke asked them, shaking uncontrollably.

'Yes, Clarke. She's breathing. I think she's okay.' Lexa told her but Clarke swooped down on Ontari and pulled Bellamy's pack to her.

'I need a flashlight.' Clarke muttered, and she pulled out the small light and checked Ontari's pupils: they were unresponsive.

'What does it mean?' Lexa asked, drawing up alongside Clarke.

'She's brain dead.' Clarke cried in defeat.

'That means we're stuck here.' Murphy muttered, all thoughts of escaping lost.

Clarke sat back and put her hands in her head, fighting the urge to scream. Lexa was now their only choice but Raven had said that Lexa would likely die. The Flame was only designed to take on new Nightbloods so it could learn and develop every time. Someone who had already taken the Flame had no use to it. Lexa could die the same way as Emerson. Ontari had been their last hope, the last with black blood. Clarke raised her head from her hands and stared at Ontari in shock.

'I don't need her brain,' Clarke muttered into the silent throne room.

'What do you mean?' Bellamy asked tentatively. 'Ontari can't help us now, Clarke.'

Clarke turned to meet his eyes and his expression looked almost fearful when he took in her wild smile.

'I just need her blood.' Clarke breathed.


	14. Best Laid Plans

_Clarke didn't even bother to turn around from the window when she heard her door opening and footsteps coming closer._

_'You wanted to see me?' Lexa asked, joining her at the window and looking out over Polis._

_Clarke frowned._

_'I meant I would come and find you once you were out of your meeting.'_

_She wasn't exactly popular with Titus as it was and she could imagine how he would react if he thought she was summoning Lexa to her as soon as she got out of her meetings with the other ambassadors._

_'I know,' Lexa smiled, 'but I thought I'd save you a trip.'_

_Clarke continued to look down at the city, without really taking anything in. Lexa joined her and appeared content to wait for Clarke to bring up whatever was bothering her._

_'Thank you for last night...' Clarke trailed off; she didn't really know what to call it._

_'Are you feeling better?' Lexa asked._

_'Not really.' Clarke laughed lightly; she didn't know whether the weight of what she had done would ever fully dissipate but at least she did not now have Emerson's death on her conscience too._

_'Polis is beautiful.'_

_'It is,' Lexa hummed in agreement._

_'I kind of miss the woods though. I got used to living surrounded by green.' Clarke admitted._

_'I can understand that.' Lexa said wistfully. 'Would you like to return home, Clarke?'_

_'Not a chance.' Clarke said, turning to flash Lexa a grin and Lexa couldn't resist a smile in response._

_'Do you miss your friends?'_

_'Yes...and no...'_

_Clarke did not need to explain to Lexa who understood what it meant to wear the title of leader. Clarke loved her friends but she also resented them and all that she had done for them._

_'There was something I wanted to ask you.' Lexa spoke up eventually and it caught Clarke by surprise; usually Lexa just demanded._

_'Yes?' Clarke prompted when Lexa seemed disinclined to continue speaking._

_'Would you like to attend the Ascension Day events tomorrow? I address the Nightbloods first, in the morning.'_

_'Of course I would.' Clarke replied sincerely and there was a soft sparkle to Lexa's eyes at the response._

_Clarke had learnt a fair amount about Grounder traditions. She hated the thought of what Lexa had been put through to be commander. She'd had to take so many lives when she was so young, but if she had not then Clarke couldn't even begin to imagine not having met her. If life on the ground meant kill or be killed, then she'd rather Lexa lived, no matter what the price._

_'I'm glad it was you.' Clarke said quietly._

_'I will keep your people will be safe, Clarke.' Lexa promised and Clarke felt her heart drop at Lexa assuming she was only thinking of her people._

* * *

Clarke continued to beam up at shocked faces.

'Clarke-' Bellamy began, his voice shaking but Clarke cut him off.

'The wristband, we can use it on my mother. We don't need to save Ontari now so we can bring my mother back. All we need is to keep Ontari alive while I take her blood.'

Clarke was met by a thundering silence. Lexa's eyes were wide and searching hers but Clarke found herself growing increasingly impatient to be met with such a response. This was clearly their best plan. Her mother would be saved, they didn't need to trust somebody as duplicitous as Ontari who would do anything to try to hurt Lexa and Lexa would not be forced to take the Flame which could ultimately kill her. The Lexa here would be safe, while Clarke entered the Flame. The Flame had taken Lexa's blood, her very essence of being and so there would be a part of her inside of it and Clarke would be able to access that finally. They would both now be together within both worlds. As soon as they had gotten rid of the ALIE threat (which Clarke had to admit was a looming threat but they had dealt with far worse by her reckoning) then they would both be safe in both their existences. Clarke would know for sure that Lexa remained there. She could finally see it for herself and it meant that whatever happened to them in this life, they would still go on. Lexa had told her once that binding herself with Lexa's fate had been foolish as it meant that two would die instead of one, but making sure the Flame had at some point taken on them both had meant that they would both be saved.

'Clarke,' Lexa said firmly, taking a step towards her, 'this plan is foolish when we already have a Nightblood. When we know that I can take the Flame.'

'What good will it do when you end up dead?' Clarke snapped.

'It is my burden; I am Heda.'

'You gave it up when you told Titus to make sure anyone but Ontari ended up with the Flame!' Clarke hurled at her and she saw a flash of hurt and regret in Lexa's eyes.

Clarke knew it was a low blow. Lexa hadn't even known about ALIE but they had no choice now. Clarke wasn't even sure how to defeat ALIE. Their last desperate hope was that somehow the Flame would be the answer but she also knew how suspicious Lexa was of her desire to take the Flame. Clarke had felt her watching her for days. It was about more than just ALIE and Clarke knew that, but it didn't stop the fact that Clarke would do anything to save them.

'I did not mean for it to end up this way, Clarke.' Lexa replied quietly.

Clarke turned away from her and bit back another angry retort. Lexa never intended for things to end up the way they did. She couldn't understand Lexa's hesitancy when she was so full of belief. Clarke turned back to her.

'You've gone out of your way to protect me...from Quint, Nia, the missile, from Titus, even from myself and I don't even know how many other things. If you don't trust me then trust yourself.' Clarke urged her desperately. 'You're in the Flame, Lexa. You saw the other commanders because of the Flame- you know it's true. You can protect me now, here as you can be sure ALIE will do everything she can to try to stop this and when I access the Flame, I know you'll be waiting for me.'

Lexa looked as though she would rather fight an entire army herself than go through with this plan but Clarke could see her soften towards her logic. It was all they had left. It was the only plan.

Lexa nodded but turned quickly away from Clarke, and she wondered if perhaps tears were now falling.

'Clarke,' Bellamy began again, standing up and away from Ontari, 'just let Lexa do it and if it doesn't work-'

'I won't risk her life when this plan is the only thing that will guarantee that whoever takes the Flame doesn't die.' Clarke said angrily.

'She can at least try!' Bellamy shouted.

'I won't risk her just like you wouldn't risk your sister!' Clarke spat. 'You can't keep deciding for everyone who is expendable and who isn't, Bellamy.'

'She left us to die.' Bellamy choked.

'And I left all of you, you murdered three hundred allies, my mother killed my father, and Murphy tried to hang you yet here we all are, Bellamy. This is what we've got.' Clarke cried in exasperation. 'You can either tear yourselves apart over old wounds or you can help me finish ALIE and save everyone. It's up to you but I'm tired of fighting, Bellamy. I just want to fix this and go home.'

She couldn't keep pouring over the same pain. She needed everything she had left of herself to get through this. All she wanted was for this to finally be over with and then maybe she could finally get a chance at life on the ground that was about more than just surviving. Maybe she could finally be with Lexa, make peace with her friends and find a home somewhere and she could stop running.

Bellamy nodded with much the same expression as Lexa and Clarke could have laughed aloud at the fact that they could share something like that and yet still be so polarised.

'Let's get this started then,' Murphy chipped in helpfully.


	15. To Be Alive

Clarke saw the recognition in her mother's eyes instantly: she was free. Clarke still held herself back, gently touching her mother but not giving into an embrace. She didn't want her mother to blame herself. Clarke didn't blame her for any of it. She had saved Raven's life in taking the chip but that did not mean old wounds were now healed.

Abby was about as enthusiastic towards Clarke's plan as Bellamy had been but she did also agree. They just needed her surgical equipment and then they could finally begin.

Octavia hurried through into the throne room.

'Whatever you're doing, you better do it fast.' She warned.

'Why?' Lexa questioned.

'They're climbing.' Octavia said simply, and she swallowed audibly as though the prospect made her nauseous.

Clarke turned in horror at Lexa and they made their way to the balcony to see ALIE's servants below beginning to climb the tower.

'We can defend the tower.' Lexa told them, turning away from the balcony and going back into the throne room. 'It will take them time to ascend and that is precisely what we require. We do not need to take down an army, only to delay them long enough so Clarke can find a way to stop ALIE.'

'We can do it.' Clarke said, standing beside Lexa. 'We still have the shock sticks. If they make their way onto the level below we can fill it with water and use the shock sticks to knock them out. Then we can regroup and barricade this floor.'

'Let's get this started.' Clarke said turning to her mother and going to sit on Lexa's throne.

Octavia, Pike, Brian and Miller went to prepare the floor to hold them off. Abby pulled out plastic tubing and inserted it in Ontari's arm and Clarke eyed it nervously.

'Try doing that hanging upside down.' Bellamy joked lightly and he squeezed her hand in reassurance.

'At least Mount Weather was good for one thing.' Clarke retorted.

Clarke saw Lexa's eyes flicker to their hands but was relieved to find no jealousy there. She accepted that Clarke did not care for Bellamy in that way. Maybe there was hope that these two overwhelming forces could find peace. Clarke was bound to Bellamy. Both were chosen leaders of the hundred but Lexa had inspired her as an equal, as a leader who commanded power when Clarke had been terrified of it. She needed both of them in different ways and they had all failed each other at some point or another. That past did not have to define them. If Bellamy was her rock to depend on Lexa was the sun that gave her hope and life.

Bellamy stiffened as her mother threaded the needle through Clarke's skin.

'I guess it's as much about faith and logic at this point.' Clarke muttered, watching the steady train of black blood until it entered her arm. 'Okay, the Flame.'

'Not yet.' Abby quelled her, squeezing her other hand. 'Give it a minute to circulate.'

'It's like Icarus.' Bellamy said, quietly.

'Hm?' Clarke said looking up at him and trying not to think of what it meant to take Ontari's blood or her hatred would threaten to take over.

'Icarus and his father, they made wings of feathers and wax to escape Crete but Icarus didn't listen to his father's logic and flew too close to the sun and they melted.' Bellamy explained.

'Icarus needed the belief that he could achieve even flying but to keep enough reason so he could survive.' Clarke replied.

Clarke looked from Bellamy to Lexa. So often it had felt like they had pulled her apart but yet she didn't see how she could have made it without both of them. She would not take this moment of quietness for granted. She knew that once this was done they would once more be against each other.

Clarke leaned her head back against the throne for a second and shut her eyes. It was time.

'Will you stay?' Clarke asked Lexa, and she felt a rush of embarrassment at whether she sounded childish but Lexa smiled immediately.

'Of course.'

Bellamy released her hand and let Lexa step forward to take it. Clarke had been surprised at Lexa as she was sure she would rush straight out to defend this place. She felt her mother watching their interactions closely but fear was ebbing at Clarke and she wasn't about to deny herself comfort out of pride. 

'I won't leave you.' Lexa promised. 

' Will it hurt?' Clarke asked quietly as Murphy stepped forward. 

It felt right that he would perform the ascension given that he had taken the place of Titus even if it was just for show. Clarke felt she had disrespected the grounders enough in her lifetime. 

'For a moment,' Lexa answered honestly, 'but then you will know what to do.' 

Clarke leaned forward as Murphy implanted the device. 

Clarke screamed instantly in agony but she fell back against the chair, the pain subsiding as quickly as it came. She felt a rush of awareness. Lexa had been right. She now knew what she must do.

'I need to take a chip and go into the City of Light.' Clarke told them confidently.

Everybody questioned her, except Lexa who nodded in understanding. Lexa knew what it meant to be given the Flame and the sense of insight and control it gave. Clarke was confident. She trusted the Flame and she trusted Lexa. This was what they must do. 

She squeezed Lexa's hand before she felt herself enter the City of Light.

* * *

Lexa stood stock still by Clarke's side. She'd been in the City of Light for almost half an hour now. Lexa had no doubt that Clarke would find her way but the idea that she was searching an entire city for a solution to beat ALIE was disconcerting given the amount of people ALIE was sending to die for her. They had already utilised Clarke's plan to use the water and shock ALIE's followers. It had granted them some time but Lexa was sure that they would soon be forced to barricade themselves in this level alone. She glanced back at Clarke. It was almost easy to convince herself that Clarke was merely asleep. She watched Clarke's slow breathing and her eyes went to Clarke's face.

'Abby!' Lexa called urgently as blood trickled from Clarke's nose.

* * *

_ She knew. She knew Lexa would save her. Her hands had trembled when she had finally gotten to embrace Lexa. She was alive in the Flame. Lexa's spirit would live on. Her euphoria swept through her but then the City of Light turned black. _

* * *

'What is it?' Lexa screamed holding Clarke who was in the middle of a violent seizure.

'Ontari's heart has stopped. Clarke's rejecting the Flame.' Abby panted as she relentlessly delivered compressions to Ontari's chest. 'Damn it.' 

Abby swore under her breath before grabbing her scalpel and tearing open Ontari's chest. 

Lexa looked back at Clarke and held her head as steady as she could. 

'We need you, Clarke. Hold on. You'll be okay.' Lexa murmured, fighting tears.

* * *

_ 'We need you, Clarke.' Lexa soothed her and Clarke sat upright, blinking rapidly.  _

_ The rejection of the Flame had stopped.  _

_ Lexa looked at her, eyes swimming with relief. Clarke could almost believe that they weren't yet again being hunted. All she wanted was here, and she recognised now just how deep her despair had been at almost losing Lexa. Clarke surged forwards and kissed Lexa tenderly. Lexa kissed her back for a moment before Clarke pulled away. It was an action of confirmation. Clarke wanted Lexa to know just how she needed her. Lexa gently stroked Clarke's hair and cupped her face. _

_ 'Listen to me,' she said soothingly but determined, 'the ALIE upload has begun. ALIE's people will be able to see us. We need to be more careful.'  _

_ Lexa's words snapped Clarke out of her focus on Lexa. She swallowed any bitterness at the situation. She knew why she was here, she reminded herself. She needed to finish ALIE.  _

_ Clarke looked around hopelessly.  _

_ 'Why aren't they here already?' She asked, suspicious. _

_ 'The Flame offers some protection but less and less.' Lexa explained. 'Can you stand?'  _

_ Clarke nodded and Lexa helped her up. Clarke wanted to feel Lexa's hold on her forever. She didn't think she could remember how to stand without it. She glanced down at their arms.  _

_ 'My father's watch.' Clarke noticed on her wrist, surprised. 'It's working. It's counting down. We have ten minutes to find that kill switch.'  _

_ Any panic that Clarke was beginning to feel was instantly stifled by the look of composure and acceptance in Lexa's eyes. Lexa was always steady. She did not worry about how, she simply focused on the task at hand. Clarke could not think of anyone better to be with her through this.  _

_ A bell rang out and they turned to see a girl riding a bike. As she passed, they noticed the sacred symbol.  _

_ 'Thank you, Becca.' Lexa breathed, gratitude pouring through her words.  _

* * *

The crashes against the door grew louder and more urgent. They hastily put together barrier rattling with each push against the door. They were about to break through. Lexa and Abby both stood protectively in front of Clarke. Abby readied her pistol. 

'Just in case they get past you.' Abby explained to Bellamy.

Lexa held her blade firmly. She let her muscles relax and allowed the sense of purpose flow through her, just as it had before her fight with Roan. Clarke needed her and she would not let any harm come to her. 

* * *

_ Clarke couldn't even be surprised at this manipulation by ALIE. It was fitting, really, to send Jasper to her first. Jasper had been the one to talk her out of opening the door to Mount Weather and ALIE clearly hoped her guilt over what she eventually did to Maya would be enough to talk her down. Once again ALIE underestimated her.  _

_ A hatch emerged and a raven flashed across it. Clarke could have cried in delight. She should have known Raven would come through for them. She always did.  _

_ Lexa punched Jasper out of the way but more of ALIE's people were starting towards them. She didn't want to let Lexa go. Lexa had fought so easily against them all before but there were many more now. They were unarmed, and Lexa had two blades but their numbers may be too great. She didn't want to know what it would mean to turn around and leave Lexa behind.  _

_ Clarke grabbed Lexa's arm and tried to pull her towards the door but it was futile.  _

_ Clarke half wished she didn't know what Lexa's love felt like. Lexa regarded her as everything that was needed in the world but Clarke half longed for freedom for just pain and death without pulling someone with her or without being held back from the void. Lexa's love saved her but Clarke had nothing but self loathing and wanted to shatter her own heart against the floor at all that she had done. _

_ 'Don't waste yourself to this.' Lexa urged her.  _

_ Lexa had watched her become more engrossed by the Flame and what it offered. Clarke simply wanted Lexa by her side. They could both go through the door and try to stop this, or flee and remain together in the Flame. Lexa running forward to her probable death in the Flame was something she didn't want to even contemplate.  _

_ 'You need to stop ALIE and go back to life.'  _

_ 'What if life is time wasted?' Clarke asked her desperately. _

_ 'How can it be when there's us? Your friends and loved ones? I know you're scared of losing more, Clarke, but you cannot ever be satisfied by remaining here. You need to finish this and go back.' _

_ 'No! You'll die in here!'  _

_ 'You always doubt how well I fight.' Lexa smiled, full of affection. 'Besides, how many times do I have to tell you that death is not the end?' _

_ 'I can't lose you.' Clarke was sure she was breaking in two.  _

_ 'You forget, Clarke. Even if I die here, The Flame takes on new black blood. There will be no memory of me.' _

_ 'So you can take the Flame again?' Clarke asked, realisation dawning upon her. _

_ 'So I can stay with you everywhere.' Lexa assured her. 'You're so brave, Clarke. Don't let fear rule you now.'  _

_ Lexa turned to leave but Clarke grabbed her again and turned her so that they were facing. What if the plan didn't work? What if they failed? What if Lexa could not take the Flame again without dying? She looked hopelessly at Lexa but found green eyes that were bright with confidence, because Lexa knew in her heart what was right. Clarke had long forgotten what it meant to simply do the right thing, and not just fight for survival. They had both been right: there had to be more to life than that.  _

_ 'Lexa, I love you.' Clarke finally confessed, her hands gripping Lexa's arms, terrified they would never see each other again. _

_ 'I will always be with you.' Lexa vowed.  _

_ Lexa's eyes were brimming with love and serenity but before Clarke could utter any final plea Lexa was running back into battle to defend her life. _

* * *

The followers of ALIE toppled into the throne room, clambering over the furniture that had barricaded the door. Lexa slashed at them with ease, Abby only needing to fire her weapon once. The others were battered and bloody but no one had come close to Clarke. 

* * *

_ She didn't want peace without love. ALIE offered a world of contentment, but it meant nothing without love. Her experiences had largely been dominated by pain, but there was happiness there and she wouldn't trade those memories for everything even if it meant that everyone would be lost tomorrow. She didn't know if she trusted herself but she trusted Lexa.  _

_ She still had hope, perhaps they could find a way.  _

* * *

Lexa's arm froze as she was about to plunge her blade into one of the followers of ALIE, but he started screaming in pain, holding his head just like the others around them. Clarke had done it. 

Lexa rushed back to Clarke as her eyes fluttered open. Lexa brushed Clarke's blonde hair out of her face.

'You did it.' Lexa exclaimed, full of pride but Clarke shook her head wretchedly.

Lexa did not have time to question it as Abby threw herself at Clarke. They broke apart and Lexa stood back to give them a moment. Lexa did not miss the disappointment that lay behind Clarke's eyes even as she did manage to smile at her mother. Clarke was a terrible liar. 

Abby looked to Kane once she was sure Clarke was okay and had removed the Flame. 

'It's okay, go to him.' Clarke urged her and both Bellamy and Lexa walked over to Clarke.

'You don't like someone who just saved the world.' Bellamy commented, eyeing her, his face covered in blood.

'We didn't. Not yet.' Clarke said, struggling not to cry. 

They heard a gasp and spun to see Octavia finally reek her revenge on Pike. He fell to the ground dead. Octavia threw Bellamy one last look before marching out of the throne room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So death is not the end but neither is this chapter. Obviously from here on out I'll not be following the canon. The next chapter will focus more on Bellamy/Clarke and Lexa and that whole leadership dynamic and how that will pan out. Clarke was so distraught by everything that it was fitting to her character that she just wanted to save everyone when faced with ALIE. She didn't exactly become best friends with Bell again because it's a complicated bond. I like complicated. However, it is all going to come to a head fairly soon and Clarke and Bellamy have such different ideas about how to live on the ground (and that goes back to s1) that we'll see how that works itself out. 
> 
> In terms of the actual show though, it is plausible that Lexa would be back. I don't want to offer false hope as I personally don't have a clue what JRoth is planning but the whole ending didn't feel quite finished. Yes, arguably Lexa finally went out in the glory she was denied by her death outside of the Flame but we didn't actually see her die. Given the ease she took down all of the other people before, it is plausible she did survive. Furthermore, Lexa was in the City of Light because of the Flame. All the regular people who took the ALIE chip had effectively taken something different. They may operate in similar ways but it isn't definitive. There are a lot of questions so it is possible that if Lexa did die (or was effectively deleted as is it really life? who knows) in the City of Light that doesn't actually mean she's dead within the Flame. All the commanders are stored in the Flame because of their blood, so it doesn't mean one platform negates another even if they kind of almost merge. 
> 
> I do however, predict that the Flame will be used at some point again. It wasn't destroyed. I think the whole story where its organics vs synthetics and we destroy all AIs is kind of predictable and tired at this point so I think whatever happens in s4 there will be a greater look at the Flame and technology in general.


	16. Split Decisions

'She'll have gone after Indra.' Kane told Bellamy as they watched Octavia leave.

There was nothing particularly that Clarke felt needed to be said with regards to Octavia. She had ignored blood must not have blood and she had to make her own decision with how to live now without Lincoln. Clarke turned back to Lexa.

'We need to get to Arkadia.' Clarke told her in a low voice.

Lexa shot her a quizzical look but Clarke glanced warily around the room to signal they needed to talk in private. Lexa nodded and turned to the dazed people. She ordered Abby to give them medical attention and for any healers to assist and informed them that Skaikru would be returning to Arkadia by nightfall with her.

'Help them get ready.' Clarke told Bellamy and he watched her follow Lexa out of the throne room.

Lexa led them to her chambers and shut the door. Clarke turned immediately to Lexa to examine whether she had any wounds. Lexa let herself relax into Clarke's touch but noticed her blue eyes were full of a burning intensity.

'What is it?' Lexa asked once Clarke had stepped back, satisfied that she was okay.

Clarke exhaled in exasperation, running a hand through her hair.

'Clarke, sit down.' Lexa ordered her gently and she joined her on the sofa, waiting patiently.

'I think I made a mistake.' Clarke started, looking across at Lexa. 'ALIE offered me a choice to join her. I told her that we needed free will so I used the kill switch but that way she couldn't save us.'

Lexa's brow only furrowed ever so slightly as she waited for Clarke to elaborate.

'There are nuclear plants across the planet...it'll happen again.' Clarke said, struggling for air. 'They're going to fail and the planet will be soaked in radiation again. She said it started with black rain and then we'd get cancerous legions...'

Lexa was still for a moment in shock. Clarke put her head in her hands. Lexa's heart clenched at Clarke's turmoil.

'Clarke, you did the right thing. You gave us hope.' Lexa reassured her, brushing back her hair once more and Clarke pulled her head out of her hands and turned to face her.

'I left you.' Clarke whispered. 'You went to save me. They were all coming to stop us. I don't even know if you survive in the Flame. Jaha is still alive and he was there but I didn't see him start to fight. He seemed to leave it to the others. Maybe you got away...'

'Clarke,' Lexa began softly, 'I'm here.'

Clarke nodded but couldn't stop her sob and Lexa took her into her arms, cradling her as Clarke cried fully. Lexa wondered if Clarke had ever allowed herself to cry like this. She was always strong for the sake of everyone else. She rarely afforded herself with any private moments. One arm pulled Clarke closer while her other hand continued to stroke her hair. Clarke began to calm down and her tears started to dry but she continued to lie in Lexa's arms.

'I think I have a plan, Lexa.' Clarke mumbled.

Lexa only smiled in response. Clarke would never stop fighting.

'And we need to return to Arkadia?'

Lexa felt Clarke nod against her chest.

'Then we shall.'

Clarke sat up and rubbed her eyes. They were rivers of red. Lexa gently caressed Clarke's face.

'Let's go.'

'Wait.' Clarke began as they stood up. 'Have this.'

Clarke stretched out her hand to reveal the Flame.

'You're the commander.'

'I don't know-'

'Not to put in your head.' Clarke sighed at the obvious. 'That's not happening until we know it's safe but you are the commander. You were trained for it, there are no Nightbloods left and you're the best leader the clans have had.'

'The other commanders-'

'Did not create a coalition that unified everyone, or bring about the end of blood must have blood. Look, there's no Nightblood who can take it and we need a stable coalition right now for what we are going to face. I need you.' Clarke finished.

Lexa accepted the Flame. Breaking the tradition against blood for blood had felt right. It wasn't selfish. It was an idea born out of the desire to see peace finally so that all lives could flourish. Lexa felt great unease at taking something that would elevate her to a higher position without having earned it but she knew that choice was often a luxury they could not afford.

* * *

Although Clarke had been chosen by Lexa and Titus to be the Flame Keeper, they depended upon Murphy to act again in that capacity before they left. Lexa and Murphy were left alone for a few moments while the charade of her being implanted with the Flame again was carried out. Lexa had detested this idea but Clarke had argued it was the only way to stop a rebellion. The Coalition had remained fragile even when Lexa was the rightful commander but if her people did not believe she possessed it once more then she could easily be challenged to her claim as leader. Ontari lay slain and it was enough to argue that Lexa's black blood would accept it now that they believed there was no trace of her within.

Clarke and Bellamy had questioned Jaha together about what had happened inside the City of Light. Lexa had killed everyone had who been close and he was potentially the last witness. He told them, rather shakily, that Lexa had not died within the Flame. Clarke's relief was not married in the slightest that this would make the deception harder to pull off. Lexa would not have to take the Flame again where she was not sure how it would react. They granted Jaha his life in return for his silence. Clarke personally thought that this was generous of Bellamy. His death would equate to silence but even after all that Jaha had done, Bellamy was reluctant to take his life. Of course, Octavia's life was not at stake.

Clarke was still unsure of whether she could even trust Jaha. He had started all of this and he did not seem in the slightest bit guilty for what had happened. He'd been outraged that Bellamy and Clarke had thought it was their right to question him at all because he truly believed he had given them the best chance to save them. He was a problem that Clarke did not particularly wish to deal with but they had little choice. Jaha was angry but he was not foolish. Without the City of Light to hide in he knew he must find a way on Earth to survive and that would not happen if he continued to pointlessly test them.

Clarke had still not explained to anyone other than Lexa about what awaited them. Bellamy had questioned her before they had accosted Jaha but she had shrugged him off. Clarke knew how great the threat they were facing was but also how fragile that made them all. At any sign of death people were more inclined to fight each other than fight with one another. The priority had to be to get to Arkadia where they could start to take action.

Once Lexa's second Ascension ritual was over they headed out. All of the Skaikru people in Polis were to be transported back to Arkadia. Abby was monitoring them closely with Jackson although the animosity was clear. Abby was given little choice but to take the chip but Jackson had actively sought it out. Clarke had felt such grudges were pointless between two doctors as it would only put lives at stake. They had been friends and what was done was done.

Lexa and Clarke led them back to Arkadia, their horses side by side.

* * *

Bellamy walked with Octavia who was keeping pace with the wagon that held Indra. Indra had barely been conscious but Abby was satisfied that she would live. Her body however was in a greatly weakened state and she would need monitoring.

'I didn't think you'd come with us.' Bellamy admitted.

'I'm here for Indra. Abby can help her better than anyone and then I'm leaving.' Octavia replied curtly.

'Where are you going?'

'You don't have the right to ask me that.' Octavia said vehemently, finally looking Bellamy in the eye.

'We need you.' Bellamy said quietly.

'You should have thought of that before.'

'There's something else going on.' Bellamy clarified.

He glanced ahead at Clarke and Lexa. He was stung that Clarke hadn't explained whatever was going on. It was obvious Lexa knew and she had never left Clarke's side except for the Ascension.

'Of course there is. It's Clarke. There's always something she has to fix.'

'She just saved all of us.' Bellamy defended.

'She saved herself and Lexa. I knew I wasn't her priority when she left me to die in TonDC.' Octavia retorted.

Bellamy glanced at them again. Clarke always looked to Lexa before every decision now. They had rarely agreed even in the days of the drop ship but at least Clarke had listened. Now she bypassed all of her own people's concerns in favour of whatever Lexa said.

'She thought she was saving the rest of us in Mount Weather.'

'You're defending her?'

'Of course not, O. You're my little sister. I need you but she's still one of us and so are you.'

'I'm no one's.'

* * *

Clarke tried to grip the reins tighter as she swayed unsteadily on the horse. Her hands felt clammy against the leather and sweat was making her shirt stick uncomfortably to her skin. It was a relief when it rained lightly for almost an hour but as soon as the shower ceased, Clarke struggled to stop shaking.

'Clarke-'

'It's the blood.' Clarke explained quickly; she had felt Lexa watching her for some time. 'Without the Flame I think my body is rejecting it.'

'We need to hurry.' Lexa stated, worried.

'It's okay. We're nearly there. I have time. There's medicine that can help in Arkadia that my mother took from Mount Weather. We can't make the escort go any quicker with so many wounded.' Clarke said, her teeth chattering slightly. 'I'll be okay.'

Lexa swallowed back any argument but her eyes never left Clarke. They were less than an hour out from Arkadia and night was starting to descend upon them. Clarke's breathing seemed to become less erratic the closer they got to Arkadia and Lexa was sure that it was due to relief that they were close to the medical facilities rather than an improvement of her condition.

The lights of Arkadia seemed to burn brighter than any star in the darkness. Lexa hoped that for once a visit to Arkadia would be straightforward.

Clarke glanced at her to give a reassuring smile once they could see Arkadia in the distance but Lexa did not return it. Clarke's eyes were more red now than they had been when she had been crying. The blue that so marked her eyes was now almost a bright grey.

As they approached, the gates opened and Raven, Monty, Harper and Jasper ran out to greet them all. Lexa helped Clarke dismount from her horse and Abby ran to Clarke, noticing her daughter's condition.

'I'll be fine once we get inside.' Clarke said but before she could move Raven threw her arms around Clarke.

'You trusted me! You did it!'

'Of course, I trusted you.' Clarke smiled as they pulled apart. 'Thank you, Raven.'

'Come on, you look like crap. Let's get you inside.' Raven smiled.

Clarke pulled her jacket tighter around her and buried her hands in her pocket in a fruitless attempt at trying to stop shaking and she let Raven guide her through the doors of Arkadia.

'I'm not going in, Clarke.' Bellamy called.

She turned, confused and saw him standing away from the gates of Arkadia as everyone came in behind her. They turned to watch their conversations despite their desires to go and rest and receive treatment. They owed their lives to Bellamy and Clarke. They were their leaders.

'What are you talking about?' Clarke asked, struggling to keep her voice level and she took just one step towards him.

'I'm going to the drop ship.'

'Why?' Clarke asked, perplexed.

'I won't follow her.' Bellamy's eyes never went to Lexa, standing beside her but everybody knew who he was referring to.

Clarke could feel Lexa's anger radiate from her. The atmosphere had changed in an instant from weary hope to fragile fear.

'Bellamy,' Clarke shook her head, 'we don't have time for this.'

Clarke made to turn away but Bellamy shouting stopped her.

'And how many times are you going to brush us all off?'

Clarke stood rigidly facing him from inside the gates. She longed for the warmth of Arkadia and for her mother to give her anything that would return her strength but Bellamy was looking at her with such defeat in his eyes that she couldn't bear to turn away.

'We need to work together, Bellamy.' Clarke sighed.

'I know,' Bellamy started with earnest anger, 'but I won't blindly follow Lexa. I don't want to be part of her clans. We are the hundred.'

'We are not just that.' Clarke argued.

Her people mattered to her; they were buried in the depths of her heart. They had shared so much when the Ark had felt them worthy of only death but she would not be told she couldn't care for Lexa because they shared a different history.

'She betrayed us. She will leave us to die. We are not her priority, Clarke.' Bellamy shouted.

'We are her people.' Clarke bit back.

'No, we are not. We came to the ground to be free-not to be ruled by somebody who left us to die. Is that what you all want? To follow someone who sees you as disposable?'

'So what do you want, Bellamy?' Clarke challenged. 'Another war?'

'No. I don't want war, Clarke. I just don't want to be ruled by her.' Bellamy replied.

Clarke looked around and saw the doubt on Skaikru faces. Lexa had just helped saved them but to many she was still a grounder and one who had left them to die. So many had been slaughtered by Ice Nation that she could understand some trepidation but if they should have known anything it was that grounder vs sky people only resulted in more deaths. Hadn't Pike taught them anything?

'Bellamy is right,' Clarke said turning to her people, 'we did come down here to be free. We left the Ark that treated life as though it was meaningless and that constantly elevated the worth of council members above workers. We escaped a society that floated anyone who ever stepped out of line and with Lexa we are free. Lexa sent her people to help us, and then after the massacre of her own army, of warriors from her own clan, she did not retaliate. She wanted more. She delivered peace with _jus no drein jus daun_.

'We inadvertently started a war when we landed and when we launched the flares. The grounders thought they were defending themselves and so did we. It was a war of mistakes but now we are equals, we know who we are. Now we can work together honestly and with respect. We don't need to fight each other and Lexa and her people have been willing to deliver peace. We can be stronger together, with their knowledge and culture and our technology we can work together to ensure peace for future generations.

'We have a chance at a life that's about more than just survival. You saw Polis and how beautiful it was. Do you want to walk away from the chance at such a life because of an old grudge against an enemy who never really hated us, or do you want something better for all of us?'

A few of Skaikru shuffled and looked down at their feet until Bellamy shouted to them.

'We can determine our own fates back at the place where our journey to the ground started. We can make our own destiny and not let someone else who would see us die determine what happens to us! This is about how we want to live: by our own choices or by a leader we never asked for.'

Members of Skaikru began to step forward and stand behind Bellamy. 

'Come on, Clarke.' Bellamy stated.

Clarke shook her head.

'I made my choice.'

Clarke's voice did not waver, despite how unstable her body currently felt. In truth, she had made her choice long ago in Polis. She had been ready to leave with the blockade but that was because she had little choice; people were about to die. When she had been presented with the choice between Bellamy and Lexa, and Skaikru or unity she had always chosen what was right in her heart. She had counted on Bellamy, and she had trusted him above anyone else. He was the one she had always depended upon but after the Mountain and her leaving Arkadia something had broken. Clarke felt herself break and she had to rebuild herself, while Bellamy lashed out in anger. The harsh reality was that maybe while they could get each other through some of the harshest moments, they actually brought out the worst in each other. They stumbled towards war at every turn when they led together. Clarke did not know how she would face this new threat without Bellamy, but she didn't know how much blood she would have on her hands if they did face it together. 

Bellamy's eyes flashed with rage, hurt and betrayal but Clarke had no desire to move towards him.

There were a few dozen or so more that joined Bellamy and of the hundred Jasper stepped forward.

'What are you doing?' Raven asked him quickly.

Jasper looked back at Clarke.

'I trust Bellamy more than her.'

Clarke bit back a bitter retort. She had known Jasper would follow Bellamy but it still felt like it sliced her open. She watched as Monty and Harper both followed Jasper and went to stand next to Bellamy. Monty had been with her as they had walked down the mountain. She'd thought she could always depend upon him. She wished they had just one moment to talk privately and discover whether he was doing this solely for Jasper. She thought she could see a bit of regret in his eyes.

'You can't have Raven. I need her.' Clarke said quickly and Raven shot her a disapproving look.

'I wasn't going anywhere anyway.' Raven huffed.

'Oh,' Clarke faltered, 'sorry.'

Clarke looked across at Miller and Brian. She was surprised that they had not made to move from their spots. Brian had suffered greatly due to the Ice Nation but he looked set in his decision. Miller caught her eye and gave her a nod. Octavia was steadfast in her decision to remain too.

'What about you?' Clarke called across to Murphy who was standing with Emori.

'You're the better survivor.' Murphy replied with a smirk.

Clarke couldn't believe that she now felt gratitude to Murphy. He had, in his quiet and often sarcastic way, offered to help when he could have fled. He remained after Lexa had been shot when he could have fled after what Titus had done to him. He had helped them against ALIE when again he could have fled, even though it meant risking his own life and keeping someone he hated alive.

'See, she hasn't denied anything I've said.' Bellamy finally acknowledged Lexa.

Lexa barely raised an eyebrow towards Bellamy.

'Joining the Coalition is a privilege that was extended to you. If you are foolish enough not to accept our protection then that is your decision.' Lexa replied, unmoved.

Clarke's legs shook violently as the two groups stared at each other for one last moment before Bellamy turned and led them into the forest. She watched until they were out of sight. She had never thought that Bellamy would just leave them. This was her leadership: to split her people in two, she thought sadly. 

'I give them a week.' Raven muttered before nudging Clarke. 'We need to get you inside.'

Clarke finally peeled her eyes away from the forest and made her way into Arkadia. Clarke took a few unsteady steps but her knees gave way and she sank into the mud, her fists holding her up. Lexa rushed down and pulled her up gently. Clarke turned her head to look at her but her eyes rolled back and all she could see was darkness once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Clarke did make her choice after all but so did the rest of Skaikru. Obviously this split is going to come to a head at some point as it's going to get in the way of the bigger threat they are all facing.


	17. The Last Chance

Clarke blinked and immediately turned her head to the side to get the fluorescent light beaming above her out of her line of vision. Her head was throbbing at the light. Lexa moved closer to her and squeezed her hand tighter.

'Hey,' Clarke croaked and affection rose in her chest at the fact Lexa had stayed with her, 'how long have I been out?'

'About eight hours. The sun has only just risen.' Lexa replied.

Lexa had dark circles under her eyes and looked slightly drawn. Clarke was amazed at Lexa's dedication to stay with her when she herself must have been completely exhausted.

'How are you feeling?'

'Awesome.'

It was only slightly sarcastic. Clarke was feeling much better. Her head hurt and her body still felt exhausted but she had stopped shaking and her fever was down. She cursed Ontari's blood.

Clarke stared at her hand that was holding Lexa's and smiled. She reached down and pulled off the glove that Lexa was wearing and entwined their fingers once more, revelling in the feeling of Lexa's smooth skin.

'You have nice hands.' Clarke observed as she played with Lexa's slender fingers.

Lexa smiled softly, her eyes never leaving Clarke's face as though scared Clarke might suddenly lose consciousness again.

Clarke glanced across medical to see Indra on a bed at the far corner, still unconscious.

'Octavia is still here?'

'Yes.'

Clarke said nothing in response.

'You need Raven?' Lexa prompted when Clarke seemed reluctant to shatter the moment with speech.

Clarke sighed. They could not waste time, not with what was awaiting them. She was aware of how carefully she needed to tread now. If she trusted the wrong people, everything could fall apart. She wasn't even sure if her plan was possible.

Clarke nodded.

'We need to speak to Raven.' Clarke confirmed, her voice still hoarse. 'And my mother and Kane.'

Lexa nodded and did not question. She stood up and held her hand out to Clarke who grasped it gingerly and pulled herself up. She was pleasantly surprised to find that her legs felt quite steady.

Raven and her mother thankfully were hovering outside of medical. Clarke asked Abby to get Kane and they waited in communications for their return. It was relatively secure now thanks to Raven who looked as though she has camped out in there recently and Clarke suspected that she might well have done if she managed to find a way into the City of Light. Gratitude at her friend once again bubbled up inside her.

They waited in silence and Clarke tried not to dwell on the fact that Lexa once had Raven tied to a tree and then tortured. Raven, to her credit, seemed to hold little hostility towards Lexa during their fight against ALIE and the current situation seemed awkward out of strangeness rather than hostility.

'So... are you two together?' Raven asked curiously and when she clearly couldn't stand the silence any longer.

'I-'

Mercifully, Clarke was spared from answering as the door opened and each jumped slightly when Kane and Abby finally entered, shutting the door behind them. Kane looked around the room.

'Why are we here?' He asked.

Clarke took a deep breath. She didn't have a clue as to how to explain everything and she dreaded shattering the contentment that was slowly starting to enter Arkadia since ALIE's demise.

'We still have work to do.'

Raven, her mother and Kane gaped when Clarke explained the situation. Abby looked to Lexa and Clarke saw her register the impassive expression Lexa was wearing and the frown her mother adopted in response.

'We never catch a break.' Raven muttered once Clarke had finished speaking.

'No,' Clarke agreed. 'But I think I have a way to stop this.'

'How?' Abby asked, in wonder and it did seem like an impossible task.

'It's pointless trying to travel the globe to find these plants. Even if we knew where to look, we wouldn't get there in time.' Clarke explained.

'So we shut the doors and pray?' Raven asked.

'We could do what the Mountain Men did and try to bunker in from the radiation. We already have one air lock so we do have time to replicate that on a wider scale.' Clarke conceded. 'Not to mention that we also could go back within the Mountains and rebuild the bunker the Mountain Men used.'

'But?' Kane asked, clearly sensing that this was not something Clarke particularly thought was a good idea.

'We would only be saving ourselves. Everyone else outside of Arkadia would be left to die. There's no way they could shield themselves from the radiation and we can't warn an entire planet. We've barely got radios to communicate with each other.'

'So what is the plan?' Raven questioned slowly.

'The Flame.' Clarke answered. 'ALIE was able to access the nuclear systems before, therefore there must be some way to do it again. We wouldn't need to travel to the plants. We can get to them through the Flame and the City of Light. We killed ALIE. We didn't kill everything else. If we can access their codes or make up through the City of Light, in a form that we recognised like how we used the kill switch then we might have a chance.'

The City of Light and the Flame were simply too convenient not to be used but Clarke didn't know how to make this plan into a reality.

'Do you think it's possible?'

Raven looked startled at the suggestion but quickly recovered.

'Theoretically, yeah. There would be a way in.'

Clarke audibly breathed a sigh of relief. At least it was possible. They had a chance.

'Good but there are some obvious problems.' Clarke admitted. 'The biggest being is that there are no new Nightbloods to take the Flame. We can forget Luna helping us.'

'But Lexa-'

Clarke glanced at Lexa and saw her nod in permission to reveal the truth.

'Lexa does not have the Flame, at least implanted. We don't know for sure if she died in the City of Light. The Flame can only take on blood it has never had before or has no memory of. If Lexa exists inside of the Flame she will die when she takes it.'

'The Ascension ceremony?' Abby whispered, shocked.

'We need a commander to help stabalise us. If people think we aren't in control, that they are about to die then the whole coalition could fall apart and we can't afford that right now.'

Abby's eyes flashed in horror at the deception, much like when she had realised the truth behind the missile strike in TonDC.

'Your father-'

'I don't want to hear it, Mom! He didn't have to face this and this isn't the Ark.' Clarke retorted. 'We need a way that the Flame doesn't reject Lexa's blood.'

'I can work on that with Abby.' Raven spoke up. 'The Flame can be adapted, it'll be in its core programming. I just need to find a way to alter that. We can test it with samples of Lexa's blood so she doesn't have to risk her life to see if it works.'

Clarke nodded, relieved.

'Could there be a way to extend that so people without Nightblood could take it?'

Lexa stepped closer to her.

'You wish for someone else to become Heda?'

'No,' Clarke replied quickly, 'but the City of Light is huge and there could still be obstacles in there that we need to break through. We still have the ALIE chips. They're dead now and we can't activate them if it means bringing ALIE back but if we power them in line with the Flame then theoretically more of us could enter the City of Light and work out a way to shut the plants down safely. I know Raven helped us with the code but we might need more support than that.'

If the Flame could somehow power the chips and work in tangent with them then as many people as they needed could enter the City of Light to help them on this mission. It was far less risky than sending Lexa alone.

Raven exhaled loudly.

'Hell of a job.'

'I know, and we only have a matter of months to do it. But what alternative is there?'

'Did Bellamy know?' Raven asked.

'No,' Clarke admitted, 'he knew there was something more and he still walked away. I need us to be working together, not looking for ways to stab each other in the back if we are going to pull this off.'

'Okay.' Raven said shakily. 'I can get to work. I might need Monty though.'

Clarke nodded.

'I thought so.' Clarke admitted. 'He still has a radio though. We can contact him but we can't let Bellamy jeopardise anything. I know he said he doesn't want war but-'

'-after last time it's better to be cautious.' Raven agreed. 'We can do this.'

'I know we can.'

'So you don't want us to tell the others?' Kane asked.

'What's the point?' Clarke replied hopelessly.

'They have a right to know.' Abby argued.

'Clarke is right. Raven is going to need to focus, if Arkadia and the other clans fall into chaos it will deter our plans. This is our only chance at survival.' Lexa stated finally and Clarke knew that no matter how her mother felt about Lexa, she would not disobey both her own daughter and the Commander.

'Okay, we'll let you get started.' Clarke said. 'Lexa can give a sample of her blood today.'

They left Raven to start work on the system. Clarke knew it was a huge task and it might not even be possible but her faith in Raven had never been misplaced yet. Before Kane could part she grabbed his arm and informed him they needed to speak with him once more. Her mother merely nodded and headed back in the direction of medical while Clarke took them into the nearest room, closing the door behind them.

* * *

_Raven woke up groggily. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the light in medical but she quickly focused on her friends standing around her. Her eyes narrowed when she noticed a very obvious absence._

_'Where's Clarke?' Raven said, struggling to sit up; the explosion of the dam had wrought even more damage on her leg._

_'She left.' Bellamy replied quietly._

_'What do you mean?'_

_Raven's heart dropped at the tone in which Bellamy spoke._

_'She left Arkadia.'_

_'Why?' Raven asked, horrified. 'She just saved us all.'_

_Raven looked at all of them and not one of her friends could look her in the eye._

_'Maybe we're better off.' Octavia finally said._

_'What the hell, Octavia?' Raven demanded._

_'She just murdered an entire civilisation!' Jasper spat._

_'To save your life!' Raven hurled back at him and Jasper let out a howl of anger before storming out, Monty quickly following after him._

_'She let the missile drop on TonDC.' Octavia said._

_'She wouldn't-I saw her, she flew right of here to save you.'_

_'She saved herself and Lexa.'_

_Raven looked away for a moment. She knew Clarke. She'd hated Clarke after what happened with Finn but Clarke had never once been selfish. Everything she had done she had done for them. Raven struggled up and swung her legs over the bed, gasping in agony._

_'What are you doing?' Bellamy asked, starting toward her but Raven threw his hands off of her as she tried to stand._

_'This isn't right. I'm going after her.' Raven spoke mostly to herself. 'She can't have gone far yet.'_

_'She doesn't want to be here, Raven!' Octavia shouted._

_'You just let her leave!' Raven shouted back._

_Raven struggled to take a step forward but her leg couldn't bear her weight and she stumbled backwards onto the bed. Bellamy moved to help her but once more she slapped his hands away._

_'It's Clarke.' Raven said desperately._

_'She made her choice.' Bellamy replied, his voice breaking._

* * *

'Are there any other revelations?' Kane asked, worried.

'No, I think we've got enough to be going on with.' Clarke replied. 'But we do need to talk about Arkadia.'

Kane turned to look at Lexa who seemed as composed as ever.

'We're part of the thirteen clans now; Lexa needs to know what we are planning.' Clarke told him and Kane seemed to accept this. 'We need to talk about the new chancellor.'

Kane looked at Clarke, confused.

'Are we going to hold an election?'

Clarke laughed humourlessly.

'After the last one? Democracy is a wonderful theory if the voters aren't all fascists. We can't let another Pike situation happen, especially now.'

'I agree but I thought, given recent events that you would be the most suitable candidate for that role.'

'I don't want the job, Kane.' Clarke replied quickly and she took a nervous look at Lexa. 'I'm not staying at Arkadia. I want to go back to Polis-'

She had meant it to sound like a declaration but instead she found it a nervous request. Lexa had asked her to be her guest in Polis but that had been weeks ago and so much had happened since then. Clarke's nerves fluttered all the more at the realisation that when she had told Lexa she loved her, albeit the Lexa in the Flame, the response had not been that she was in love with her too. Lexa's words at the time had been infinitely comforting; all she wanted was Lexa to stay with her but she couldn't help now but doubt whether Lexa would still want her in Polis.

'You're welcome as my guest in Polis, Clarke.' Lexa assured her quickly.

Clarke managed a smile although she found that tears threatened to fall so she turned back to Kane.

'You're leaving when we have this new threat?' Kane asked in disbelief.

'I can work with Raven from Polis with the radios. Trust me, even she wouldn't want me near her when it comes to technology. I annoyed the life out of her at the drop ship.' Clarke reassured him. 'It's important that things remain stable in Polis.'

'So you will be ambassador?' Kane asked.

'Not exactly,' Clarke started, 'I'll happily advise Lexa if that's what she wants but honestly, the role is much better suited to you. You're good at diplomacy, Kane. I never thought I'd say it but it is true.'

'Does this person you have in mind for chancellor know what we are facing?'

'It's not my mother if that's what you're wondering.' Clarke quickly confirmed. 'We need unity. Someone who can take us through the transition of Sky People to one of the thirteen clans of Lexa's Coalition. I know who that is.'

'So they will not know of the threat?'

'No, their focus has to be ensuring peace.' Clarke emphasised. 'I just need to find a way to talk her into doing it.'

Kane gave her an incredulous look but Clarke did not wilt. She had made up her mind. She was sure that this was the right course of action, as certain as if the Flame was still guiding her.

'Then we need to prepare what happens afterward.' Lexa said. 'We need to be certain of peace.'

'I agree. That has to be the priority when it comes to our policies.' Kane said.

' _Blood must not have blood_ was unpopular but it is something that my coalition will honour. However, if Skaikru decides to break the coalition once more then the other clans, particularly Trikru, cannot be left vulnerable to an attack. Little more than a dozen men easily slaughtered over three hundred skilled warriors. This cannot be allowed to happen again.'

'What do you propose?' Kane asked.

'Disarmament.' Lexa answered shortly. 'Not full disarmament at this present time but at least a fifty percent reduction in your guns. I will allow time for you to train your warriors before the remaining guns are destroyed.'

Clarke looked at Lexa in surprise. It was not a bad idea and she appreciated how even now Lexa was considerate enough not to make Skaikru vulnerable. A sudden and complete disarmament could be a disaster, particularly if Bellamy did not stick to his word of wanting to avoid war.

'The new chancellor will have to agree.' Kane pointed out.

'She will or I'll do it myself.' Clarke muttered.


	18. A Better Way

'There will be a feast to acknowledge the unity of the clans this evening and a chance to honour all that has happened.' Lexa told Clarke as they walked through Arkadia.

'A feast?'

'We were denied one on the last occasion.' Lexa reminded her.

'I know, it just feels...'

'We need to keep up appearances of strength, Clarke.'

'You're right,' Clarke rubbed her eyes wearily.

'You should rest.' Lexa told her gently.

'I'm okay. I'll check on medical. Will you be staying in Arkadia?' Clarke asked, knowing that they had brought the commander's tent although she could hardly blame Lexa for planning ahead given how all their other trips to Arkadia had gone.

Lexa gave a sly smirk and Clarke instantly grinned.

'Will you be staying with me?'

'If you wish.' Lexa replied silkily.

'Wait, if I wish?' Clarke joked in mock indignation.

'Perhaps.' Lexa replied, leaving Clarke at medical and flashing a smile over her shoulder.

Clarke pushed through the doors of medical and quickly checked on Indra. She was awake and less inclined to talk than even Clarke had anticipated but she was still too weak to go anywhere which meant that Octavia was still in Arkadia. Her mother came over as soon as she saw her and led her into the confined room next door that was often used as a make shift supply closet as well as office when Abby needed it.

'How are they doing?' Clarke asked.

'Better, there seems to be no lasting damage from ALIE. The ones in medical were all physically hurt in the fight in some way.' Abby responded.

'How's Jackson doing?'

'We're working through it.' Her mother replied.

Clarke turned to the desk in the room and saw her old sketch pad.

'You kept this?'

'Of course. I kept everything for when you got back.'

Deciding not to correct her of the fact she had never truly intended to return, Clarke looked up and smiled at her mother and began to flick through the pages. The drawings were originally dominated by pictures of her friends but they shifted to images of the mountain and maps for when she had been planning their attack, and finally to several portraits of Lexa. In some ways, it felt like that had been a lifetime ago. Her first picture of Lexa was of her in her war paint and armour, from a few nights after Finn had died. Clarke traced it with her finger before turning through to the next portraits of her. Clarke smiled at each for a moment before placing the sketch book back.

'You're together now?' Abby questioned, her voice clipped; she had been watching Clarke closely.

'I-' Clarke faltered; they had never defined what they were and she didn't even know if Lexa loved her but the idea of them not being together seemed absurd, even beyond the romantic experience they had embarked upon Clarke had always been with Lexa. 'Yes.'

'You trust her?' Clarke rolled her eyes and groaned.

'I'm not talking about this with you.' Clarke dismissed, trying to make her way to the exit.

'I thought it was an infatuation.' Abby spoke loudly, standing between Clarke and the door. 'You saw her as the leader you wanted to be. I knew why you stayed in Polis but you're actually together?'

'I don't think you're in the position to lecture anyone on love.' Clarke replied flatly.

'Clarke, she left you.' Abby cried exasperatedly.

'You know,' Clarke retorted, her voice laced with ice, 'I haven't passed any judgement on the fact you're with the man who pushed for the execution of my father and then pressed charges against me so I ended up in solitary for a year.'

'This is not the Ark!' Abby responded hotly. 'We are different people!'

'I hope so or Kane's going to need a hell of a life insurance policy.'

Abby looked as though Clarke had slapped her.

'Clarke-'

'I need to go. There are things to sort before the feast tonight but don't worry, I'll be heading back to Polis as soon as I can.' Clarke retorted angrily, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

'She hates me.' Abby said quietly.

Marcus moved to sit beside her at their table in the mess hall. She had sought him out after her argument with Clarke. Jackson was monitoring the patients in medical as all of them were stable. She had just gotten Clarke back once again and now her daughter was already planning on leaving.

'She doesn't hate you.' He said, taking her hand.

'You don't know Clarke like I do. Once something is broken, that's it. She runs from it.'

'That's not true. Look at her and Lexa.' Marcus pointed out and Abby made a non committal noise.

'How did that happen?' She asked, bemused.

'Lexa is good for her.'

Abby looked aghast but quickly recovered.

'I forgot you were her fan.'

'You may not like her Abby, but you both have one thing in common: you will always protect Clarke.' Marcus told her softly. 'Clarke has already been forced to choose between the people she loves. It won't help anything to make her do it again.

* * *

Bellamy watched as the fires roared. They had already had one successful hunt and it was not yet nightfall. They had also started cut down wood to rebuild the wall. It was bound to be quicker the second time around.

'Hey, the hammocks are all set up inside.' Monty said.

'Thanks.' Bellamy replied.

Monty nodded.

'Just like old times.' He said with a small smile.

'Why did you come with me?' Bellamy asked after a moment.

Monty hesitated briefly.

'Because you needed me more than Clarke did.' Monty replied honestly.

Bellamy clapped his shoulder and headed over to the fire. Monty turned and slipped into the forest as no one was watching. When he was out of earshot of the camp he pulled the radio out of his pocket.

'Okay, Raven. I can talk.'

* * *

'You summoned me.' Octavia said, as the doors shut behind her.

Clarke rubbed her eyes. She didn't know if she'd be able to make it to the feast. She felt as though she could sleep for two straight days. At least, one problem had been resolved. Monty was willing to scrounge ALIE chips and help Raven figure out how to connect them to the Flame. It was a tough task given that Monty was still based at the drop ship but he had been willing to help even though Raven had revealed nothing about why. Clarke took this as a positive sign that no matter how much contempt Bellamy held Lexa in, there were still those willing to work together despite such fundamental disagreements.

'You wanted to talk so talk.' Octavia prompted impatiently.

Clarke took in Octavia truly for the first time since leaving Polis. She looked drained. The fire was still behind her eyes but there was pain too, and a little fear, Clarke thought she saw. Octavia was struggling not to pace the room. Clarke knew that such pain was making her restless; she wanted to run from it all but she didn't know how. Clarke couldn't afford to delay any longer. Arkadia needed stability and she had made her decision when she had addressed Kane. There was no chance to turn back now. They were out of options.

'I need you to be the Chancellor.'

Octavia visibly reeled at Clarke's words. She looked agape and physically stepped back from Clarke as though Clarke had lost all reason and might attack at any moment. Clarke waited until she regained her composure.

'You've lost your mind.' Octavia muttered, shaking her head. 'You have actually lost your mind this time.'

'Arkadia needs you, Octavia. Your people need you.'

Octavia took another step back shaking her head.

'This is a joke-'

'Octavia, this isn't a game. We need stability, especially after what happened with Pike. We need to be fully part of Lexa's Coalition.'

'Why me?' Octavia shouted, her voice uncontrollably high pitched.

'Because you're the one who can unify us.' Clarke answered simply. 'You understand the ways of the Grounders, you have always wanted peace. You can navigate us through the transition.'

'I don't want it.' Octavia spat.

'We didn't want a lot of things but we're still here.' Clarke replied, nonplussed.

'I am not one of them!' Octavia shouted, disgusted. 'They locked me under the floor for sixteen years just for being born!'

'I know,' Clarke replied, stepping forward to Octavia, 'which is why you are the one who should lead them and who can show them a better way. After everything they've done to you, you've always fought for peace and for a better way for us all. You can show them what life on the ground really means.'

'What does it mean?' Octavia replied sarcastically.

Clarke shrugged.

'Hope, pain, a chance at something more. Whatever we want it to be. The point is that we have a chance down here to be better, to be more, like you've always challenged for.' Clarke urged. 'I know you think you have no home but you can make the ground your home, as leader of Skaikru, as someone who worked with Trikru and the other clans to bring peace.'

'I'm supposed to lead the guard?' Octavia scoffed.

'Yes.' Clarke nodded. 'Lexa wants them to begin to disarm so that no more massacres can ever be allowed to happen. We need to train warriors. You can pass on what Lincoln taught you, and Indra can help you if that's what you want. We can make Trikru our closest allies, allow them the benefits of our medicine and technology. I meant what I said to Bellamy, we can all live together. I don't just want a tenuous peace in isolation. We deserve better than that and this is our chance, Octavia. Don't you still want that for us?'

Octavia let out a shaky breath. Clarke knew that she was thinking of Lincoln; he had been the first person to try to save them all from war. He had saved Octavia's life before she had even meant anything to him. He had stayed at Arkadia, not because of Lexa's kill order, but because he wanted to be a part of a world that came together. He didn't want to hide in Trikru away from Skaikru. Octavia could fulfil that dream for him now.

'Is this payback because I tried to get you to leave Polis?' Octavia mumbled.

'No,' Clarke laughed, 'this is because I think it's about time we gave ourselves a proper chance at life down here.'

'Why don't you want it?' Octavia asked cynically. 'Because you're going back to Polis with Lexa?'

'I don't want it anyway. I don't deserve it. I'm not a good leader, Octavia. I can come up with plans in a moment to help save us but that comes at any cost. I think right now we need more than that. I'll always do what I can to protect our people but they don't need me through this, they need you.'

'And what about Bellamy?' Octavia questioned quickly.

'If you take the position then that's up to you.' Clarke shrugged.

'Are you hoping I will spare him?'

' _Blood must not have blood_ will spare Bellamy. Lexa is our commander and we need to stay true to her policies. Beyond that though, you can deal with him.' Clarke offered.

Clarke was trying and failing to not dwell on Bellamy leaving. Arkadia without him seemed somehow more sterile, as though it was more like the Ark and they were still in space. Bellamy had represented a break with the order of how things were done. He would be the first to stand up to the guard and the Chancellors as soon as they came down. He would go along with whatever plan Clarke had come up with rather than the established order. She felt confidence with Lexa by her side but the fact that she imagined Bellamy sulking at the drop ship had deflated her and annoyed her immensely. They needed to work together and he had just walked away. At least, when she had stayed in Polis she had worked as ambassador and had helped bring about peace. Bellamy was going to achieve little through this move.

'Here.' Clarke said holding out her hand once more but this time it held the Chancellor's pin she had taken from Pike's body and not the Flame.

Octavia stared at it solidly for several minutes while Clarke felt her arm cramping. She made no move to drop her hand however. Eventually she took it and pinned it to her leather jacket. Octavia eyed it suspiciously, as if expecting her entire personality to now have changed by taking the badge. Clarke merely offered her an encouraging smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be a lot more Clexa scenes coming up. It's just there's a lot to set up with the story at the mo'!


	19. The Start Of Things To Come

Lexa watched as Clarke stepped forward to the table, along with her Skaikru attendants. The feast was held outside as the weather had changed to become much more warm. They were safe within the walls of Arkadia and the celebrations of unity could continue well into the night. Clarke was stood between both her mother and Octavia, who clearly still regarded her with a mixture of suspicion and hostility.

Lexa's only concern was for Clarke. Clarke had rejected any suggestions that she should rest before the feast but she looked weary. She had received further medications from her mother to suppress any more rejection of Ontari's blood but her body had still been put through a lot. Lexa smiled warmly at her as Clarke's eyes met hers.

'A toast,' Lexa called as she held out her goblet and everyone mimicked her position, 'to Skaikru, the thirteenth clan, as we step forward in peace. To Skaikru.'

Everyone murmured 'to Skaikru' and took a sip from their goblets before they sat down and let the feast begin. Skaikru had provided some entertainment with their own musicians. Clarke had visibly flinched when she heard the keys of the piano chime out and Lexa knew why: the instrument was from Mount Weather.

Indra was sat on the other side of Octavia. Lexa had not been surprised that Indra had defied Abby, Jackson and Clarke who all insisted that she should rest. Indra looked at Lexa only once. It was a gaze full of fierce regret at the shape of how things had turned out, but not a sign that her hostilities were somehow waning. Indra had agreed to help train Skaikru warriors with Octavia and Lexa found the news not at all concerning. Indra could stay with Octavia, she did not require someone who thought her unfit to lead. The broken vow on Indra's part meant little to her.

Lexa watched as Clarke steadily began to play with her food rather than eat it. Her mother every so often clearly whispered that she needed to eat more but Clarke had largely ignored her. This had taken Lexa aback as she had thought since Polis the pair would have at least tried to reach some kind of reconciliation. Clarke loved her mother deeply and all that had happened had clearly taken its toll but still this alliance was not being met with open arms by many.

As the plates were cleared away at the third course, people began to move freely between the tables and benches that were scattered outside to talk to their friends and dance to the entertainment. The night air was thick with excitement. It had been a long time for people on either side to have a reason to celebrate.

Lexa observed Clarke who had kept her eyes on Octavia as she was engaged in conversation with Raven across the grounds.

'Raven is loyal to you. She won't reveal anything of the plans.' Lexa assured her; they were now the only ones still seated on their table as Lexa had dismissed her own attendants so she could sit alone with Clarke.

'I know.' Clarke sighed.

Lexa had thought that selecting Octavia as Chancellor had been an inspired move on Clarke's part. Octavia wanted unity more than most. However, Octavia's state of mind was still in doubt and Lexa needed her to respect any policies she set. She was without doubt the best of the remaining options, but she knew that might not mean they would not face issues soon.

'When can we get out of here?' Clarke said abruptly and Lexa took in her exhaustion.

'Now.' Lexa replied, standing up.

Lexa ignored the stares from her people as she made her way back inside, following Clarke to her quarters. Arkadia was so unlike what Lexa was used to with its iron and steel walls and heavy doors. She could not complain about her chambers but she did not quite feel at home.

As soon as Clarke closed the door behind them, Clarke pulled Lexa into a soft kiss and gently led her to the bed, pulling Lexa on top of her.

'Clarke,' Lexa pushed herself up slightly, smiling, 'you need to sleep.'

'I will.' Clarke promised. 'After.'

Clarke pulled Lexa back down and pressed a series of tender kisses to her lips and jaw, while her hands unclasped the Commander's shoulder plate. Lexa felt a jolt of happiness and arousal as Clarke's fingers skimmed under her shirt and trailed across her stomach. Lexa cupped Clarke's face and kissed her deeply as her other hand ran up Clarke's side. The kiss was slow and deliberate, an expression of contentment that they could finally just be and would have no demands placed on them, at least tonight. It was confirmation that they were both here and wanted to be lost to each other, and that this was not the product of fear that they were about to die and would not get another moment. They had time and Lexa intended to savour every second of Clarke.

Lexa's nimble fingers reached down and undid the button on Clarke's trousers, who gasped underneath her at the motion and urged their bodies closer yet neither broke away from the kiss. Lexa kissed and sucked down Clarke's throat and her hands raised with Clarke's shirt pulling it over her head before kissing Clarke again. They gently stripped one another, only breaking their kiss when taking off Lexa's shirt forced them to. Lexa sighed contentedly and pulled back slightly, cupping Clarke's face with her hands and brushing the hair off her face. Lexa felt as though she could have looked into Clarle's blue eyes for the rest of her life. She was relieved to see that they were back to their intense blue and no longer grey. Her skin was now flushed with desire, rather than pale from her strength being sapped as it had the day before. It meant everything to be able to feel Clarke so strong and present with her after being so terrified for so long about their fates. They might not be able to stop this new threat but they at least had time now to be together, and that was the one thing they had always been denied before.

Lexa lowered herself down Clarke's body and pressed tender kisses around the two wounds on Clarke's chest where she had been tortured. She was careful not to apply pressure or touch the injuries themselves as they were surrounded by deep purple bruising and were surely still sore. She traced the outskirts of the bruise with her lips briefly. Clarke had been marked so much by what had happened on the ground but she was more beautiful than ever. They were marks of her history, of her strength, of who Clarke was and Lexa accepted her completely and wanted her totally.

Clarke merely watched her and stroked Lexa's hair gently as Lexa lowered herself further and began to kiss under her breasts. Her mouth caressed one breast as Clarke writhed at the contact and Lexa finally took Clarke's nipple into her mouth while her hand teased Clarke's other breast and Clarke was soon panting softly. Clarke whimpered as Lexa sucked on her breast and Lexa felt hips beneath her arch up in an attempt to get greater contact still. Lexa climbed back up and kissed Clarke for a second before pulling away and Clarke looked confused for a second at the loss of any contact.

'I want to watch you.' Lexa whispered before sliding her fingers through Clarke's folds.

Clarke shut her eyes instantly and Lexa took in the beautiful vision of Clarke in such pleasure. Clarke was desperately wet and struggled not to lose control as Lexa's fingers slowly toyed with her. Clarke moaned repeatedly and Lexa found her own moans escaping and matching Clarke's. Clarke squirmed, needing more contact and Lexa cursed lightly when she felt Clarke's fingers run through her and she gasped as they met her clit. She was met with Clarke's tender gaze.

'I want to watch you too.' Lexa cried out at the words, drenched in arousal as they gently and slowly worked each other to their orgasms, their eyes never leaving each other.

Lexa came after Clarke, clenching around her partner and her body dropped onto Clarke slightly as Clarke rode her through her pleasure. It took them several moments until their breathing levelled out and Lexa pulled herself across to rest her head on the other pillow and looked at Clarke. Her hair was scattered haphazardly across her pillow and sweat coated her face. Lexa gently stroked Clarke's stomach with her fingers as Clarke regained her composure.

'Do you think this is wrong?' Clarke asked and Lexa just smirked and Clarke rolled her eyes in response. 'I mean, with everything going on and we're here...'

'Clarke,' Lexa started, her voice not quite returned to its usually silky state, 'we've done all that we can for our people. We'll work every day to ensure that they know peace but right now there's nothing else to do. I think we can take a moment away.'

'Do you think we should have told them?'

'No,' Lexa murmured, 'you were right. When people have nothing to lose they are at their most dangerous. If they think they are about to die they may see no reason to follow order and maintain the peace. We cannot risk it.'

'I'm glad I'm with you.' Clarke sighed happily and shut her eyes.

Lexa thought she was going to sleep until Clarke started speaking again.

'Thank you for letting me come back to Polis.'

'It's amusing that you assumed I'd leave Arkadia without you.' Lexa quipped.

'Oh really?' Clarke asked playfully, rolling onto her stomach.

Lexa simply smiled. Clarke knew that she would never place any true demands on her. Clarke was special to her precisely because of who she was. So many of her friends and people had placed such burdens on Clarke. Lexa did not want to do the same. If Clarke had asked it of her, she would have waited a lifetime for them.

'Well, I'm glad.' Clarke muttered, shutting her eyes again. 'Because there was no way I was giving up my quarters in Polis. That's the best bedroom I've ever had.'

Lexa burst out laughing, putting her head on Clarke's shoulder and Clarke swept her into a tight embrace.

* * *

Raven saw Clarke lead Lexa back inside out of the corner of her eye.

'She said she needed you.' Octavia pointed out impatiently.

'She does,' Raven said with a shrug.

'She needs all of us. Monty, Jasper, Harper and Bellamy all just bailed on her the second we've gotten peace.'

'She said you specifically.' Octavia pressed.

Raven watched as Abby ran inside, unnoticed by everyone else. She knew Clarke had been naive to think her mother would just do as she said.

'Octavia, we need to work with Trikru now. I'm the best engineer and we need to start sharing technology. Bellamy already stole Monty. She needs all the support she can get. I'll see you later.'

Raven got up and ignored Octavia's mutters of protest and headed into communications where she was not the least bit surprised to find Abby. Raven slammed the door loudly behind her so that Abby jumped.

'What you doing?' Raven asked.

'The people have a right to know.' Abby insisted.

'So you're already going against Clarke?' Raven challenged.

'It isn't her place to decide-'

'Yes, it is.' Raven seethed. 'We didn't want you, Jaha, Kane or Pike as leader. We followed Clarke, we will always follow Clarke, Abby. Maybe what Clarke is doing is right, maybe it isn't but that's really not the point. If you do this all you will do is piss Clarke off more, cause chaos across the clans and then Clarke will be the one left to fix it.'

'She can't do everything by herself!'

'She's not.' Raven said. 'She has Lexa.'

'Lexa is the problem!' Abby snapped.

'Lexa isn't the reason the missile fell on TonDC and Lexa wasn't the one who made Clarke push that lever in Mount Weather. Clarke has done everything for us because we asked her to and you want to throw that back in her face?' Raven questioned.

'I'm trying to help her!'

'Then do as she asks and support her.' Raven responded, agitated. 'Clarke needs to know she can count on us or this whole thing falls apart. If you go against her you will only push her away.'

'I've already lost her.' Abby said, tears beginning to stream down her face.

'You haven't, not yet.' Raven responded. 'But you will soon if you keep this up.'


	20. Here And There

'I like your room here better than Polis.' Murphy commented, looking around. 'No dying lesbian on the bed.'

'She wasn't dying.' Clarke frowned.

'Only because of you.' Murphy muttered.

'It would take more than a stray bullet to take out Lexa.' Clarke replied.

She still she shuddered at the memory of Lexa's shocked face, and the blood spreading across her abdomen. That image alone was usually enough to stir her from her sleep although it was often accompanied by visions of the Mountain Men falling around her too.

'Why did you want to see me, Clarke?' Murphy asked. 'We both know you don't just chat with me.'

'That's not fair.' Clarke denied. 'I don't just chat with anyone these days.'

Murphy smiled.

'Fair point.'

'Are you coming back to Polis?' Clarke asked.

'You want me to stay as the Flame Kepper?' Murphy asked, unsurprised.

'It'll look consistent.' Clarke said and Murphy nodded.

They did need to maintain order, although Murphy had hardly been a popular choice but that was partly because he was Skaikru but also because Ontari had chosen him. With Lexa back as leader he would probably be received much more favourably. Lexa had argued with Clarke that she should just take the position as they were already working together so closely but Clarke pointed out that their relationship had caused enough tension in Polis. Clarke no longer being Skaikru ambassador or leader meant that her position in Polis would hopefully draw far less hostilities which was exactly what they needed right now. Lexa had only given in when she saw that Clarke would not change her mind. Lexa had never cared for her people's opinions of Clarke.

'As long as Emori can come.' Murphy bargained.

'That won't be a problem.' Clarke agreed. 'There is something else...you were close to Jaha, can you keep an eye on him while we are here?'

'You still don't trust him?'

'Do you?' Clarke shot back and Murphy slowly shook his head. 'It's only a few more days. Once we're gone he's Octavia's problem.'

'I'm sure she will love that.' Murphy joked, turning to leave but Clarke called after him and he turned back.

'Did you help me at Polis just to save Emori?' Clarke asked curiously.

'Yes, but I would have helped you anyway.' Murphy admitted.

'Why?'

Neither of them had ever shared common ground and yet whenever she had seen Murphy recently he had been willing to help. He was still as sarcastic and aloof as ever but he wasn't so self interested as she had once assumed him to be. Perhaps Clarke had judged him unfairly.

'You saved me. You wanted to stop them hanging me...'

'It was my fault you were hanged in the first place.' Clarke pointed out.

'Maybe,' Murphy acquiesced, 'but you let me stay in camp and helped me when I had the virus and you stopped Raven from handing me over to the Grounders. I know you don't like me, Clarke, but I owed you.'

'You're not quite that bad, Murphy.' Clarke offered kindly.

* * *

'You'll be leaving with Clarke soon?' Octavia asked as she walked around Arkadia with Lexa and Kane.

They had finalised details of the disarmament. Lexa had been pleasantly surprised at how quickly Octavia and Kane had agreed to destroy half of their stockpile of guns. Indra was already beginning a training programme for members of the guard, helped by Miller. Indra however, was also staying close to Octavia which Lexa found slightly comforting. Octavia had little experience leading and although she meant well, she was prone to follow her emotions. While this gave Clarke an unrelenting will, it often meant that Octavia had been swayed by her own personal grievances. She had at least kept her word to stay silent about the missile attack and had not told her people. Lexa did not need her to be a good tactician with an army, all she needed was for Octavia to make people believe that Skaikru could truly become one of them.

Lexa nodded in response to Octavia's question. Clarke seemed particularly keen to leave Arkadia again. As much as Clarke wanted to help Raven she knew she had little value here and was eager to return to life in Polis and Lexa suspected, away from her mother who she had been avoiding at all costs even receiving the last of her medication from Jackson. Kane had agreed to come to Polis. Due to Skaikru's radios keeping in regular contact now would not be a problem. Kane still insisted in attending Polis to help establish Skaikru as the thirteenth clan but he would be travelling regularly between the two settlements. Lexa believed that with Clarke gone, having Kane to help steer Octavia for the majority of the time would be beneficial.

'And I'm supposed to spare Jaha?'

' _Blood must not have blood_ is our way now.' Lexa sighed in a bored voice.

'We can keep Jaha under control within these walls.' Kane assured Lexa.

Octavia merely grunted. Lexa could understand the animosity that Skaikru felt for Jaha for he had been the one to unleash ALIE but for whatever reason, most of Skaikru had taken the chips. They had made the same choice as Jaha. The point of jus no drein jus daun was to stop the cycle of violence and if anything encapsulated that point it was this. If they killed Jaha merely for taking the chip, then almost everyone remaining in Arkadia would have to be put to death. Octavia had not quite taken to her new role as Clarke had most likely anticipated. Octavia's need for vengeance had not been fully satisfied with the murder of Pike, and that was an incident Lexa was deeply uncomfortable with. Octavia had avoided all charges for breaking jus no drein jus daun because of her value to Skaikru against this threat, but her people's ignorance of what awaited them meant that many questioned her strength in sparing Octavia from facing punishment and doubts still lingered over the confusion of the possession of the Flame as no Commander had ever taken it twice. The one element holding the Coalition together was the fact that the wounds of ALIE had not yet healed. People were desperate to grasp this tenuous and fresh peace but if Lexa did not demonstrate her strength as leader she knew well that there may be another attempt at a coup. However, Luna was the only Nightblood left and Skaikru were once more allies which would protect her from any direct vote for a new leader from the heads of the other clans.

'The old way worked.' Octavia muttered.

'Your friend Finn would disagree.' Lexa responded icily. 'And it has also spared your friend, Indra.'

'What do you mean?' Octavia said quickly.

'She abandoned her own commander, Octavia. If Indra's code was followed her own life should be taken. As it is, I'm willing to spare it. However, if she sets foot outside of Skaikru then she will be arrested.' Lexa told her warningly.

'Didn't you learn from Lincoln?' Octavia hissed.

'I have not placed a kill order on Indra and nor was what happened to Lincoln my responsibility. It was foolish of him to remain in a place where the population demanded the blood of his kind.'

'Lincoln tried to save your people!'

'His sacrifice will not be forgotten but it is time for us to move forward.' Lexa replied, clearly bringing an end to the discussion.

* * *

'What's up?' Clarke asked as she stepped into engineering to speak with Raven.

Raven swung round from the dozens of monitors at her voice.

'Don't work yourself to death.' Clarke urged her when she saw how tired Raven already looked.

'There's a lot to do.' Raven replied.

'And we won't have any chance at saving the world if you drop down dead of exhaustion.' Clarke pointed out.

Raven rolled her eyes.

'Fine, I'll look after myself.' Raven huffed. 'But I actually need your blood and not your doctor's opinion.'

'My blood?' Clarke asked, confused.

'Yeah, you see, The Flame can only take on black blood, right? But we need to get it working alongside the other chips. That means if people take the other chips then any interaction with the Flame could kill them because they don't have the black blood.' Raven explained. 'The chips themselves are a lesser platform so we should be able to find a way to alter their core programming so that when they connect to the Flame they don't need to be as strict about the blood requirements, especially because it was only the Flame that was made that way in the first place so they'd effectively become mini Flames connected to the real deal.'

'So you need my blood to act as a bridge between the two components?' Clarke asked slowly.

'Exactly,' Raven exclaimed, 'your blood still has Ontari's in it. That's in your system now and your body has stopped fighting it. Your blood is mixed red and black now. If I can find a way to make the Flame not want to kill your blood as soon as it senses it then you could take the chip and I could potentially be able to make it accept people solely with red blood.'

'We need Lexa to be the one to take the Flame.' Clarke frowned.

'And she will be. The Flame won't be inside of you. It needs Lexa's body to merge. I just need it to be able to work alongside the other platforms. If it can accept a trace amount of your blood then that can help us to work red blood into us system.'

'So Lexa could take the Flame, but then I and others could take the chip alongside and join her safely back in the City of Light without ALIE?'

'And with the extra guidance and protection of the Flame itself which no one who took the ALIE chip had.' Raven elaborated.

'Are we any closer to getting the Flame to accept Lexa?'

'No,' Raven shook her head. 'That's going to take a little while. My initial tests showed that the Flame completely rejected it and I mean, it was like watching a mini Emerson being put down the way it reacted to the sample of blood. It's not quite as bad now but that will take a couple of more weeks and then as soon as we work your blood into the system so it doesn't get rejected, it'll be a lot easier. Activating the chips is going to take the time.'

'Monty dropped them off?'

'Yeah, he left them in the art supply store. I got Miller to pick them up this morning. Don't worry, he won't ask questions. Miller completely trusts you after the Mountain.' Raven said when Clarke's face had paled at the mention of Miller's involvement. 'I might need to bring Monty into Arkadia when it comes to trying to activate the chips but we can cross that bridge when we come to it.'

'Time will be critical. Not just with getting the Flame working but the more chips we have that can be activated the more people we can get inside the City of Light so we can shut those plants down.' Clarke commented.

'I know but I think you can forget the idea of an army going in there.' Raven admitted. 'But I'll make sure we can get in and let's face it, we're smart enough to take anything down.'

Clarke offered only a weak smile at Raven's attempt at humour.

'We don't know what we're facing in there. I don't know if I trust everything ALIE said. There could be other things in the City of Light even without her, defences for the plants that she had put in place.' Clarke mumbled.

'I think some defences are likely.' Raven agreed. 'Also we shut ALIE down and we brought everyone back from the City of Light because she was gone but...'

'But?' Clarke prompted.

'...since I took the chip, I still feel enhanced. It hasn't really gone away. Do you feel the same with the Flame?'

'My mind feels clearer but that might just be because I've been able to actually get some sleep.' Clarke laughed.

'Probably,' Raven agreed, 'but what if shutting ALIE down only disconnected people?'

'So they could still be in the City of Light without them realising?'

'There would be nothing to realise. Essentially they're completely separate beings now like how Lexa exists both in the Flame and here as we know her. Well, you know her.' Raven smirked and Clarke chose not to comment on that last part; she had not talked about her relationship with Lexa with anyone other than Octavia and her mother and both those conversations had been in anger.

'I don't know.' Clarke muttered. 'Lexa is still alive in the Flame, that's what's causing the problem. We need to align that Lexa with the conscious Lexa again as they basically split when she took out the Flame. If all those people survived in the City of Light then how did Lexa not die in the battle?'

'Isn't this the same woman who kicked Roan's ass, threw a knife through a guy's arm from about twenty yards and kept an entire zombie army from getting anywhere near you in Polis?' Raven asked playfully.

'Fair point.' Clarke conceded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the issue around the blood and the Flame has been looked at a little bit more and obviously will be explored further as Raven keeps working on it.


	21. Back To The Fight

'Are you finally going to tell me where you were today?' Lexa asked quietly, turning in Clarke's embrace to face her.

Clarke smiled down at her. Lexa's skin was not yet completely dry, there were still tiny beads of sweat along her chest and collar bone and her face was remained rosy. Clarke adored these quiet moments with Lexa the most, and thankfully they'd managed to go a whole hour without any crisis demanding their attention.

'Was meeting with Kane that dull that you missed me?' Clarke laughed.

'I always miss you.' Lexa admitted. 'So where were you?'

'I went to go find an old gift.' Clarke said, and she rolled over and pulled her father's watch out of her drawer to show Lexa. 'After I left Arkadia, I took it off and left it at the art supply store- this old bunker we found.'

Lexa's eyes never left Clarke's but she shifted closer towards her.

'I was ashamed.' Clarke admittedly quietly. 'I couldn't wear my father's watch, it felt like he was judging me and I never wanted him to see me like that. I told you I wouldn't have taken the ALIE chip but it was because part of me wanted it to hurt. If it stayed fresh, if it was agony, then I wouldn't forget. My grief was like my honour to all those people that I killed and it kept me close to you.

'I thought of you in Polis just getting on with your life, never sparing me a second thought. I couldn't handle it. I wanted it to hurt because it kept that day close, it kept you close- as twisted as it was. So I ran from life because I didn't just want to move on. I didn't want to see their faces and be reminded of everything but most of all, I was scared in case one day I stopped being reminded of everything.'

Lexa silently stroked Clarke's arm. Lexa knew that she didn't need another apology, this was just an admission of how Clarke had processed everything. Clarke wanted Lexa to know that she had always cared, even when she had also tried so hard to hate her.

'I want you to have it now.' Clarke said, as she handed Lexa the watch.

'Clarke-' Lexa marveled at it.

The Grounders were used to telling time by the position of the sun, the burning of candles, sundials, anything but actually carrying watches. It was something so part of Skaikru but so deeply personal to Clarke.

'I trust you.' Clarke said simply. 'With my life, with my people. I trust you, Lexa.'

Lexa gripped Clarke's outstretched hand which held the watch and she pulled Clarke in for a kiss. As she pulled away she kissed the tip of Clarke's nose and smiled.

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.'

* * *

Murphy walked over to Jaha's lonely figure at one of the outside tables. The weather had not been consistent; the smattering of rain every half hour and the lateness of the hour had meant that few people wandered around in the grounds of Arkadia.

'Jaha,' Murphy drawled, sitting opposite him, 'why so glum? Still mourning your imaginary friend?'

'No.' Jaha said and he finally looked up at Murphy. 'My son.'

'Right, see your memories came flooding back.'

'I don't understand.' Murphy was shocked at how broken Jaha sounded.

His voice crumbled over the words. This did not feel like the same desperate man whose force of will alone had gotten them through the Dead Zone.

'Why?' Jaha hissed with anger and confusion. 'Why would Clarke make that choice? What is there here that is worth the pain?'

Murphy swallowed. He wasn't sure he had any answer for Jaha. Of all the hideous things that had happened to him he'd been left without a lot of hope. He did what he had to do to survive. He didn't question why, he just knew that being dead didn't sound like a very good plan but maybe he'd never been broken like Jaha then.

'Wells...his mother...if you had known then what you know now, would you have wanted her to have an abortion? Would you wanted Wells to never have existed?' Murphy asked slowly.

Jaha's eyes were filled with pain and loss and Murphy found he couldn't stand to look in them.

'I don't know.' Jaha admitted.

'Then that's why.' Murphy shrugged. 'Clarke doesn't know any better than anyone else. She does know all this could go to hell at a moment's notice. I mean, she's usually the one sending everyone to hell but she also isn't sure that it isn't all worth it, that it doesn't all matter.'

'Why does it matter?'

'Because we're alive, because even though it sucks now you did get to play chess with your son for hours on end and because he loved you and because you loved him.' Murphy replied.

* * *

Indra had officially left medical that morning after getting the all clear, Clarke had been slightly surprised when Indra had thanked her for watching over her. She'd done her best to avoid her mother, and had left medical quickly after she had gone through the situation with the remaining patients. She didn't want to leave Arkadia without being sure everything was in order, although they still had a few hours.

'Hey,' Clarke said as she entered engineering.

'Hey,' Raven said. 'I've made some progress in getting the Flame ready so that it could be used to sync up with the chips. It's still a long way off-'

'You're doing great.' Clarke reassured her and Clarke glanced at the Flame which was being held with a clamp device as Raven tested it.

'I'll take good care of it.' Raven promised.

'It's strange to be leaving it.' Clarke admitted.

Raven nodded but said nothing. Clarke suspected she was probably being irrational but the Flame still held Lexa, and now herself too. There was little threat to it here; if anyone did want it then they'd go after Lexa but that thought hardly provided comfort.

'Do you think we should use Monty for intel on Bellamy?'

Clarke shook her head.

'If Bellamy gets in the way-'

'It'll be a major problem, I know.' Clarke said. 'But if we use Monty he's going to end up compromised. Octavia will want to know where we got the information and if we sabotage any of their plans Bellamy will get suspicious. That'll put Monty in danger and risk making things worse.'

'So we trust Bellamy not to get trigger happy for a change?' Raven asked cynically.

'We have to give this chance at peace a fair shot.' Clarke argued.

Raven narrowed her eyes, observing Clarke who looked bewildered at this action.

'You seem ...lighter.' Raven said, struggling to find the right word.

'Excuse me?' Clarke laughed.

'I just mean, happy, I guess. I know you're still beating yourself up over Mount Weather and everything but I don't know...you seem better than I've known you to be.'

'Thanks.' Clarke replied.

'It's Lexa, isn't it?' Raven smirked.

'Oh, shut up!' Clarke said but she couldn't help laughing.

Raven hummed.

'I guess Octavia was right for once.'

'Octavia?' Clarke repeated.

'When you left, Octavia said she thought it was about Lexa too and not just what you had to do. She said you had gotten close to her.' Raven answered.

'Oh.' Clarke said cautiously; she didn't particularly know how to discuss everything that had happened, especially back then when Finn had so recently died.

'Can I ask you something?' Raven said and Clarke felt her stomach drop at how serious Raven looked; she didn't know how to talk to Raven about moving on from Finn.

'Sure.' Clarke said as she knew she couldn't very well run out of Arkadia- mostly because Raven was a damn good driver in the rover.

'Do you think I should get my leg amputated?'

Clarke felt as though she had been slammed into the wall by the shock she had experienced at the suggestion.

'Has my mother talked to you about that?' Clarke choked.

'No.' Raven said. 'It's just, my leg is never going to improve and it's taken that much damage, especially since I was running around on it when I had the ALIE chip. Maybe it's better to literally cut my losses.'

Raven was very possibly the strongest person Clarke had ever met. She knew Raven would never consider this lightly and that if she had yet to speak to her mother it was because Abby was far more likely to have some personal bias. Abby hadn't wanted to operate on Raven in the first place. Clarke knew that by asking for her opinion she was seeking the truth.

'Is it what you want?' Clarke asked because that was the only thing that truly mattered.

'I don't know.' Raven admitted, tears in her eyes.

'A below the knee amputation would be possible but this is purely about how you wish to live, Raven.' Clarke said honestly. 'I'm not going to give you lectures on pain management, you know it sucks but you also know what you can handle. If this isn't something you want to live with then that doesn't change who you are. Whatever decision you make, it'll be right for you.'

Raven nodded.

'Wick could probably make you a damn good prosthetic.' Clarke muttered slyly and Raven rolled her eyes.

'Shut up.'

'You just wanted details on what was going on with me!' Clarke defended. 'I'm allowed to go there too.'

'I pushed him away.'

'Yeah, I get that. You're talking to someone who literally ran away from everyone she knew but Raven, at the very least he was a great friend to you. I think we all kind of need as much support as we can get these days.'

'My prosthetic would be better than any piece of crap design he could come up with.' Raven grumbled, deflecting.

'I don't doubt it.' Clarke smiled, getting up to leave.

'Hey, Clarke.' Raven called and Clarke turned around at the door. 'I'm glad you came back.'

'You're the only one.' Clarke muttered sadly.

'Trust me, I'm not.' Raven replied sincerely.

* * *

'I thought you didn't want a war.' Monty pointed out.

Bellamy was standing in the middle of camp, having just addressed them all with how they were just going to survive here. It was everything Monty had already heard the last time they lived here.

'I'm not bringing a war but we need to be able to defend ourselves so it's a similar set up to before. Gunners at the wall but this time we need to know we can access the forest safely so we can get food and water. If anyone comes within our territory then we shoot to kill. This isn't about war, this is survival.'

'Look, if Arkadia really meant that they wanted peace now then there won't be a problem.' Harper chipped in hopefully.

'It's Clarke, she can't go a day without killing something.' Jasper muttered.

'Clarke will go back to Polis.' Monty dismissed.

'What do you mean?' Bellamy questioned quickly.

'Well...' Monty paused.

Raven had given hints in their chats that whatever she was working on Clarke wouldn't be around much to get in her way, which Raven had seemed genuinely ecstatic by. He had not been particularly surprised at this; Clarke had been so close to Lexa during their fight against ALIE he had figured something had been going on, particularly when she had desperately tried to stop Jasper from destroying the chip.

'...she worked for peace at Polis before so she will probably go back again. She didn't particularly want to stay in Arkadia.' Monty reasoned and it was not a lie as he could still remember the horror on Clarke's face as she had walked down the Mountain after the battle.

'Guess Kane's the Chancellor then.' Bellamy mumbled.

'Good, he'll leave us the hell alone.' Jasper muttered.

* * *

Clarke grabbed Lexa around the corner and pulled her into one of Arkadia's storage rooms and pressed her against the door, their lips meeting hastily.

'Clarke, we are supposed to be leaving soon.' Lexa mumbled between kisses.

'But not this minute.' Clarke said, pulling Lexa back into a heated kiss.

Clarke thought her heart would burst when she felt Lexa smile against her lips. Lexa always accepted whatever Clarke gave her, whether it was hate, anger, passion or even her sarcasm. Lexa accepted it all and wanted nothing in return. Every moment they had been together Lexa looked at Clarke as though she was everything. The outpouring of emotion had been so intense; partly out of how they felt about each other but also because they'd been terrified of what lay ahead. Now they had some sort of security, although it was a false tense as Raven was already waging a war against time itself a few corridors along. Yet Lexa's simple smile into the kiss was enough for Clarke to know that Lexa was finally allowing herself to be happy.

* * *

 

'Commander, so glad you could join us.' Murphy said, readying Lexa's horse.

Even Murphy froze under Lexa's glare and hurried himself to help prepare the rest of their convoy.

'He'll grow on you.' Clarke offered unsurely.

Lexa looked at Clarke much the same way Octavia had when she had suggested her as chancellor.

Octavia, Indra, Raven and Abby had joined to see them off. Clarke made it a point to look away when Abby kissed Kane goodbye. She had no issues with Kane; he had been able to understand her a lot better than her own mother when they were fighting the Mountain Men but it was still strange to see her with anyone other than her father.

'Clarke-'

'Take care.' Clarke offered quickly, pulling her mother into an embrace which she quickly let go of.

'You've got the long range radios. If you need anything then you can talk to me.' Raven told her, pulling her into a hug.

'You too.' Clarke told her.

Clarke saw Octavia over Raven's shoulder watching them closely and she broke apart from Raven. It was plausible that as Raven was now the head of anything remotely mechanical or technological that Clarke would automatically contact her first but she also knew of Octavia's suspicions and she didn't want to encourage them further.

'Chancellor,' Lexa said by way of goodbye to Octavia before climbing on her horse.

'Heda,' Octavia responded instantly and Clarke was relieved to hear her tone was not hostile but she hoped that wasn't because she was just grateful to see them gone.

Clarke hesitated for a second, not sure of what to even say to Octavia and she seemed quick to pick up on this for she rolled her eyes dramatically.

'Come here,' she said and Clarke was completely shocked when Octavia hugged her too.

'Don't waste what you've got.' Octavia told her regretfully.

'You've still got us.' Clarke offered but she knew that it wasn't the same especially after she had watched Bellamy walk away from her.

'I know.' Octavia said, attempting a smile.

'Let's get this show on the road.' Murphy commented as Clarke climbed up on her horse and finally bid goodbye to Arkadia.


	22. Taking Control

Octavia watched as the scouts left Arkadia. The guard were not yet trained to be adequate warriors without their guns to rely upon but if Bellamy stuck to his promise of wanting to avoid war then she did not see reason for why they should be fully trained right now for such a simple mission. Those who had left were most likely still making the drop ship secure but Octavia had sent two scouts to report on what activity was going on in the area. She did not entirely trust Bellamy yet.

'You should deal with Jaha.' Octavia said in a low voice to Indra and she looked around at Arkadia.

She still wasn't sure if she had made the right choice. She longed to experience fully what it meant to live on the ground and see other cultures but she was needed here, and she resented it. Maybe this was how Clarke had felt.

'Is that a suggestion or an order?' Indra challenged, and Octavia knew she was looking for signs of weakness or doubt.

'He was the reason that things fell apart so badly. They nailed you to a cross. Don't you want justice?' Octavia questioned sharply.

'What about the Commander's orders?'

'Lexa isn't here right now.' Octavia retorted. 'Fine, I'll do it myself.'

'Wait.' Indra said fiercely before Octavia could storm off. 'I will do it tonight.'

* * *

Raven sat at Abby's desk for her lunch as Abby went through the results of the tests of the samples of blood.

'I had wondered if there was something specifically in the Nightblood's DNA that set them apart but thankfully it seems to be purely that there blood has an entirely different compound I've never even seen before.'

'That would have started with Becca.' Raven deduced and Abby nodded. 'Does that mean you can extract that compound?'

'I don't even know what it is, let alone be able to isolate it and extract it even if I did have the equipment.'

Abby seemed to hesitate so Raven prompted her.

'Is something wrong?'

'It's in Clarke's body now.' Abby said shortly. 'We have no idea what it could do long term. Most Nightbloods don't survive the conclave and most commanders don't survive for more than a few years so there's been no observations of it.'

'Clarke knew what she was doing.' Raven said soothingly. 'It was about surviving through the day, not what could happen in the next twenty years.'

Abby seemed to accept the point although begrudgingly. They had just run into each situation head on since coming to Earth but they had little choice.

'Could you mix some samples of Clarke's blood with Lexa's?' Raven asked.

'Aren't they close enough already?' Abby quipped.

'It's just some test tubes, Abby.' Raven reasoned. 'If I can make Clarke's blood take on more of the black blood and work it with the Flame then I'll dilute it down again.'

'So baby steps for the Flame?' Abby asked.

'Sort of.' Raven shrugged.

'You need to get it to accept Lexa first.'

'I've got a new plan.' Raven said between mouthfuls of her boar meat. 'Just getting the Flame to not reject Lexa wasn't working. The little shit is doing my head in every time it freaks out so I'm going further back in its programming. I'm going to break it down and get Lexa's code and effectively open it up so that it's already waiting for her blood. It's a much more direct method than trying to alter the entire Flame's construct.'

'What about when Clarke is joined up?'

'Clarke won't directly be in receipt of the Flame so it shouldn't have any effect on her, but doubt worry. I will check thoroughly before we try.' Raven put her food down on her plate before looking back up at Abby. 'There's something I need to ask you about...my leg, do you think I should go with an amputation?'

Abby nearly choked on her bottle of water.

'What's brought this up?'

'It's not going to get any better-'

'No,' Abby agreed, interjected, 'but the pain is manageable.'

'So you keep saying.' Raven muttered. 'But it still hurts, I still have to drag it around and what happens the next time I get knocked about?'

'We'll deal with it when we have to.'

'When the hell did this become "we"?' Raven demanded. 'It's my leg.'

'And it's your choice, Raven, but don't make it out of anger or because you're tired.'

'Maybe that's all I have left.' Raven admitted, deflated.

'You know that's not true.' Abby said, offering her a small smile.

'Clarke said I should just do whatever feels right. I know what she would do though.'

'She'd fight it tooth and nail until she accepted she couldn't fix it and then she would amputate it if she thought for a second it would get in her way.' Abby admitted. 'She's stubborn. Reminds me of someone.'

'If only she shared my engineering intelligence. Took her forever to find that damn orange wire.'

* * *

'How many were there?' Bellamy demanded back at camp after reports that Mercole and his team had run into Grounders.

'Just two.' Mercole said.

Mercole was one of the originals left from the hundred. He had been a shooter during the first war with the Grounders and was now highly valued given how many of Bellamy's original shooters had died.

'We shot them when they came into our territory like you said.'

'They had weapons?'

'Yeah...shock sticks and blades.'

'Shock sticks? They were from Arkadia then and not Trikru.' Bellamy hissed. 'Damn it, Clarke. I trusted you.'

Bellamy couldn't believe they were back to this; Lexa promising unity but then doing whatever the hell she wanted. They were supposed to be living in peace but separately and now their territory had already been threatened. Clarke truly had abandoned them for Lexa.

'They didn't have guns?' Bellamy asked, brow furrowed.

'No.'

'Then maybe they didn't come here to hurt us.' Jasper said.

Bellamy snorted.

'They're Grounders now, Jasper. Remember what Octavia said? Grounders hate guns, they believed the Mountain Men would burn their villages down if they picked one up. Some legends die hard and if Clarke is making them do whatever Lexa and her people believe then that'll be why they've gone with blades.'

'Clarke usually just pulls a lever.' Jasper muttered, walking away. Bellamy reeled at Clarke's foolishness.

She was giving up their guns simply because Lexa had told her to. It would make Arkadia weak whenever the clans eventually turned on them. Perhaps leaving Arkadia to Clarke and her weakness for Trikru and Lexa had been a mistake. Bellamy still had friends there. He did not want to see them become the playthings of Lexa.

* * *

'Clarke,' Lexa sighed as the rode along the road back to Polis, 'what is troubling you?'

'Hm?' Clarke responded, looking across the Lexa.

'You've barely spoken since we left.'

'Sorry.' Clarke replied quickly.

'Do you not wish to return to Polis?' Lexa asked Clarke directly.

'Of course I do!' Clarke responded, certainty laced behind every word.

Lexa appeared to accept this although she still looked concerned for Clarke. Clarke knew she was being terrible company but her anxiety was building upon their return to Polis. She didn't have a role there now. She'd given up the title of ambassador, she wasn't the Flame Keeper, she was there as Lexa's guest but the tradition had always demanded that the life of the commander was to be alone. She'd joked about keeping her own quarters but she didn't actually know what Lexa intended or where she was supposed to stay.

She'd also realised that she'd managed to tell everyone, including Lexa, how she felt and yet Lexa still remained unaware. The Flame was giving her a headache. It felt ridiculous to have to tell Lexa again but it was also downright terrifying given that she still had little inkling as to how Lexa felt. She knew Lexa felt an attachment to her, and was enjoying whatever they were but she didn't know whether Lexa felt as in love with her to the degree Clarke did. She'd managed to tell both Octavia and the Flame version of Lexa directly and in retrospect, she wasn't sure which incident had gone better. Raven had guessed and she had seriously implied her feelings towards Lexa to her mother and everyone who had witnessed her desperate attempt to save the chip from Jasper destroying it.

'What do you think we're doing in there?' Clarke asked, partially to break the silence and to stop Lexa worrying.

'Excuse me?' Lexa asked.

'The Flame.' Clarke emphasised quietly.

'I imagine we're wondering what we're doing out here.' Lexa smiled and Clarke rolled her eyes.

'Very clever.' She retorted.

Clarke fell silent again.

She didn't want to think about what Raven could work out about their relationship from the code of the Flame. She still didn't think she could ever begin to get her head around it all.

Clarke had wondered whether they could pull it all off. There was little to do on her part except wait for Raven so they could begin the next stage. It left her deeply uneasy. She was used to getting ready for a fight or being in the middle of one, not just waiting for one. Lexa, in contrast, seemed more in control than ever despite the doubts that her people occasionally murmured. Clarke remembered how utterly free Lexa had looked when they had first ridden to Arkadia with Nia's body when they had thought peace was finally upon them. If anything that paled in comparison to how content Lexa was now. _Fuck it_ , Clarke thought.

'Lexa?' Clarke started and Lexa glanced across at her, eyes full of earnest curiosity.

Clarke opened and shut her mouth several times, getting increasingly annoyed with herself at how she had seemingly lost the ability to speak. Lexa waited as patiently as ever although there was a trace of a reassuring smile.

'I'm in love with you.' Clarke finally said, in a tone that was both sincere yet also held her annoyance at herself.

Lexa gave Clarke an uncontrollable smile and her eyes seemed to shine at the words.

'I'm in love with you too.'

'Well,' Clarke said, clearing her throat slightly, 'that's okay then.'

Clarke struggled not to laugh as she kept her eyes trained on the road to Polis, feeling Lexa's eyes burning into her.

* * *

'What happened?' Octavia asked Miller quickly as they stood in her new Chancellor's quarters.

'No word. No bodies. They didn't return but I think we can guess why.'

'Bellamy.' Octavia spat. 'I should have known. He doesn't get his own way and then people end up dead.'

'It could have been an accident...I don't know...' Miller tried.

'Murdering two of our people is an accident?' Octavia demanded. 'This is what Bellamy does. From the second we landed here all he wanted was war.'

'So what are you going to do?' Miller said. 'Order two deaths of our own people as justice?'

'They're Bellamy's people now.'

'You know Lexa's policy on this.'

'Fine.' Octavia retorted hotly. 'Then we'll play it Lexa's way. Two miles around the drop ship. That's all they get. If they come into contact with us we take them.'

'Octavia-'

'Not to kill them.' Octavia clarified. 'They can know what it means to be locked up. They can go through what Lincoln did.'

* * *

'Why?' Jaha screamed.

Blood was pouring from his face and his hands were bound tightly around the tree. He could make out the lights of Arkadia in the distance but no one could hear him. The activity in Arkadia was too loud and he was too far away.

' _Blood must have blood_.' Indra answered, her voice unwavering.

'I haven't killed anyone.' Jaha panted.

'I heard the stories of you on the Ark. You murdered anyone who defied you, including Octavia's mother. You came to the ground for a second chance and all you brought was more death.'

Indra dragged her blade along Jaha's stomach as he screamed. Blood seeped out and his shirt was soaked. He fought once more against his binds but he couldn't move.

'I was trying to save us.' Jaha said in barely more than a whisper his head dropping to his chest in exhaustion.

'Your death will save us.'

Indra forced Jaha's chin up so his head slammed back against the tree and swiped her dagger across his throat.


	23. Mistakes of the Past

The transition to live at Polis had been exceptionally smooth for Clarke. Despite her jokes about her quarters she'd never stayed anywhere other than Lexa's in the weeks since leaving Arkadia. There were murmurs of discontent that Lexa was yet again not following the path that was expected of Heda but Lexa seemed not the least bit phased by this. Clarke actually thought she had seen Lexa smirk at the guards she had caught gossiping at one point.

Raven had kept in almost daily contact. She'd finally managed to make progress in making sure the Flame wouldn't reject Lexa's blood but this had earned little celebration from Raven who felt she had wasted six precious weeks. It still would not accept Lexa completely but the rejection had been delayed for up to ten minutes. It still was not enough time. Clarke had tried to console her but nothing worked. Raven was working like a woman possessed, although Raven had breathed at least a sigh of relief at the fact Clarke's blood seemed like it would work efficiently at acting as a bridge between the Flame and the chips.

Getting Monty into Arkadia had proved impossible. Octavia had been so cunning at going backwards and forwards when she acted as spy that she was wise to any tricks that anyone might pull. Clarke had given up on the idea of him getting into Polis all together and had seriously questioned whether to bring Octavia into the loop on what was going on but Lexa had been angered at the situation between Arkadia and the drop ship, and by Octavia not providing regular updates, and so Clarke was dissuaded from this path, eventually using Wick (who was now helping Raven) to drop off a monitor and hard drive for Monty so he could tap into what Raven could see. Monty still did not know exactly what they were facing but Clarke knew he was probably close to guessing.

Kane had left Polis after the first two weeks, mostly out of necessity. Octavia had captured half a dozen of Bellamy's people and they were now being held in Arkadia. Kane had been so surprised by the breakdown in relations that he admitted he had to leave to make sure Octavia would cause them no further harm. Clarke had not been surprised at the news but she was disappointed. She had hoped this would be an opportunity for a fresh start for them all and yet here they were repeating the same mistakes of history. Dread filled her when she pondered on what Bellamy may be planning in retaliation. She wouldn't put it passed him to storm into Arkadia to free his people himself.

What was unexpected for Clarke was that Lexa still sought her opinions as regularly as she did when Clarke actually held influence over the politics of Skaikru. For now, Clarke's role had primarily been to see if Raven needed any assistance yet Lexa kept her always as her closest and most trusted diplomatic advisor. Clarke had worried that this might step on Kane's toes, particularly with his relationship with her mother, but he had seemed keen to work with the pair of them and often asked Clarke to give her view on matters.

Kane was also running over on his time when he was scheduled to radio Clarke. It was not alarming to her. In the early days of being on the ground, any little deviation from a plan would cause instant worry about the worst case scenario but now she was well versed in expecting things not to go according to plan. It was another twenty minutes until the radio crackled to life.

'Clarke?'

'I'm here, Kane.' Clarke replied. 'Lexa is listening to the requests of her people. She says it's fine that we just talk without her.'

'I understand. I would have gotten in contact sooner but I had to be sure of something.'

'Let me guess- this isn't going to be something good.' Clarke muttered.

'Jaha's gone.'

'He left the camp again?' Clarke asked, eyes narrowed; whatever Jaha was planning would almost certainly cause trouble.

'Last time he left a note and now there is nothing. Nobody has seen him or heard from him since the day you left. His clothes are all still here too.' Kane responded.

'There's enough people with a grudge against him after what happened with ALIE.'

'That's true.' Kane admitted.

'Was there anyone absent that night?'

'From what I can gather no, but there's a lot of people and they can come and go.'

'Not with Octavia as chancellor.' Clarke muttered and then realisation dawned upon her. 'Oh, damn it.'

'Clarke?'

'Where was Octavia?'

'She was in a meeting with Indra at the time, discussing how best to equip Skaikru warriors.' Kane replied.

'Did anyone actually see her or Indra?'

'I'll look into it.' Kane replied.

'Damn it.' Clarke muttered again, throwing the radio onto her bed.

* * *

Clarke waited until the end of the day for her to approach Lexa in the throne room. At the very least Lexa should be allowed to grant a few requests and listen to her people when Clarke didn't actually know anything for certain.

'I can get out of here.' Murphy said slyly when he noticed Clarke enter.

'You can stay if you wish.' Clarke said.

Murphy had not gained Lexa's trust yet but she had come to respect his resourcefulness even though she utterly detested it at times. Clarke hoped Murphy might provide some good back up. Titus was always calling for war against Skaikru, Murphy was a definite upgrade.

'What is it?' Lexa said, getting up from her throne and joining Clarke.

'Jaha has disappeared.' Clarke said. 'Is there any chance he said anything to you, Murphy?'

'He seemed upset, distraught really, but he didn't say a thing about leaving.'

'Maybe he had been pushed too far.' Clarke murmured.

'But what do you think Clarke?' Lexa cut across, knowing that Clarke would not have told her this news unless it might be relevant.

'Octavia...' Clarke sighed.

Murphy shook his head in disbelief.

'She'd be an idiot. Everyone knows she wanted him dead.'

'Everyone knew she wanted Pike dead and that didn't stop her.' Clarke argued.

'But that wasn't going against the Commander as chancellor.'

'If it was her then she's done her best to make it look like it wasn't a challenge to Lexa.'

'At least that's something.' Murphy mumbled.

'Perhaps she was not ready to lead.' Lexa said.

'It doesn't matter. She is all we've got.' Clarke replied.

'The situation with Bellamy is becoming more grave with each passing day.' Lexa said, fury seeping into her voice.

'What do you want to do?'

'I shall extend an invitation to Bellamy. A meeting with myself, Clarke, Octavia and Kane to see if we can find a resolution. They will not blunder into war again.' Lexa stated.

* * *

'I can't say I've ever had to patch up a chancellor for this reason.' Abby joked, as she finished cleaning the cut over Octavia's eye in medical.

'I'm the leader now. They need to be able to see my strength.' Octavia shrugged.

'Maybe not quite so literally.' Abby suggested.

'I need to train too. We all do. Besides, I'm going out of my mind. I needed to have a break.'

'The fact you think fighting is having a break worries me no end.' Abby smiled.

'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' Octavia replied, nostalgia washing over her.

Abby watched Octavia for a moment as she pulled on her leather jacket. She had dark circles under her eyes and they had lost the shine they had once held.

'How are you doing?'

'Great.' Octavia chipped.

'If Bellamy knew you were the leader-'

'Bellamy made his choice. He walked off and sulked.' Octavia snapped. 'I don't need him.'

'You're both as stubborn as each other.' Abby remarked.

'Hopefully the only thing we share, except for our dead mother.' Octavia sighed.

'You have different fathers?' Abby asked.

'Bell's dad died before I was born.' Octavia shrugged.

'And yours?'

Octavia pulled on her gloves quickly and glanced out of the medical window.

'I don't know. Just some guy in engineering, I think.'

'He didn't get involved with you?'

'Who wants a daughter who has to stay under the floor?' Octavia asked nonchalantly. 'I should go. Thanks, Abby.'

'Anytime, just try not to make this a habit...' Abby pleaded and Octavia gave a swift nod.

* * *

_'Mom, you okay?' Clarke asked as her mother stared at her monitor._

_She'd ignored Clarke's attempts at conversation for the last two minutes and Clarke found herself quite relieved by her mother's lack of attentiveness this morning. She didn't know whether she should even talk about what she'd heard yesterday. Her mom seemed desperate to talk to her dad and get him to change his mind but Clarke knew him. If he'd made his mind up then that was it. She'd have to talk to him herself._

_'I'm fine, sorry, what was that, sweetheart?' Abby said, finally looking up._

_'Medical is dying down. There's only one patient left before lunch and I've restocked the supplies.'_

_'Octavia Blake is next for a general physical.' Abby muttered, reading the monitor._

_'Clarke, do you want to take her?'_

_'Yeah, sure.' Clarke said. 'Something wrong?'_

_'Just the Council.' Abby said sighing.'I need to talk to Thelonious.'_

_'Don't worry. I've got this.' Clarke smiled but before her mother passed her to get to the exit she pulled Clarke into a tight hug._

_'It's fine, Mom. Go.' Clarke tried to laugh but she knew her mother was stressed about her father._

_Clarke rubbed her forehead to try to stave off her headache, before turning to go into the exam room._

_'Octavia Blake?' Clarke asked._

_The girl nodded and there was a guardsman standing behind her._

_'I'm sorry. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.' Clarke said pointedly._

_'I can't do that. She's a prisoner.'_

_Clarke exhaled loudly in annoyance._

_'How am I supposed to be able to find out anything with you looking over both our shoulders?'_

_'It's fine.' Octavia mumbled, looking at the floor._

_Clarke threw the guard a look of loathing before sitting down at her desk._

_'So you're just hear for a physical?' Clarke asked as she pulled out a BP cuff._

_Octavia nodded._

_'Okay...roll up your sleeve please.'_

_Clarke checked Octavia's blood pressure, weight, whether she had any symptoms of ailment and her blood sugars before taking a blood sample._

_'The blood sample will tell us if you need any vitamins or supplements.' Clarke told her. 'The results should be back in a few days.'_

_'Thanks.'_

_Clarke smiled but Octavia hesitated and she moved closer to Clarke. The guardsman immediately stepped forward but Clarke held her hand up._

_'It's okay. If she wants to talk with me she can.'_

_The guardsman stepped back and Clarke struggled to make out Octavia's whisper._

_'Do you know a Bellamy Blake?'_

_Clarke shook her head slowly._

_'He's a guard too or he was. He's my brother. I just need him to know I'm okay.' Octavia whispered looking desperate._

_'Hey, I'll find him. My best friend is about to join the guard as a cadet. I'll get him to pass on the message.'_

_'Prisoner, this isn't a social visit.' The guard called from across the room._

_Octavia smiled in thanks and Clarke felt a stab of sympathy for the girl as she was marched out to the sky box._

* * *

'You don't look as awful as you did this morning.' Jasper offered as Harper sat up in her tent and Monty shot him a glare.

'Thanks, Jasper.' Harper replied weakly.

'Did the nuts go off again?' Monty asked her, stroking her back.

'If they had we'd all be high and you'd be off eating pine cones.' Harper replied shortly.

Monty shot Jasper another dark look when he burst out laughing.

'You've been sick the last few mornings.' Monty said, worried.

'Don't I know it.' Harper grumbled.

'We need to get you checked out.' Monty said.

'What are we supposed to do?' Jasper said quietly. 'You can't exactly pop to Doc Griffin and ask for a check up now.'

Monty sighed, exasperated.

'Just rest.' He told Harper. 'We'll work something out.'

* * *

Bellamy could just about make shapes out moving in the distance. The dark was concealing them all and Bellamy found it gave more confidence than he expected. He took a careful step forward, stooping behind a tree. They were within their territory. Bellamy wasn't even half a mile out of camp. A hundred yards away Bellamy saw a flash, without hesitating he fired his weapon. The gun shot had given a loud crack shattering the silence around.

He waited several moments to make sure there was no other movement before slowly approaching. He found the body quickly. Whoever was with him must have ran off. He pulled the body over and saw it was wearing a mask with feathers out of the top. _Trikru_. He pulled it off carefully. A boy, no more than fifteen, lay on the ground. Bellamy clenched his jaw at the sight. He was protecting his people. They had known what would happen and they sent a child to do their job and spy on them. Bellamy reached out and pulled the boy's chin up to close his mouth and then closed his eye lids. He had to look out for them. He tried to shut out the memory of the bloody field that he had marched away from, when Indra's cries had pierced him like a knife through his chest. He was not walking out to slaughter people. He had learnt from that. But he would not let his friends be brought into danger out of foolishness.


	24. Dream Runner

Clarke gasped, jumping up in bed. Sweat drenched her and she brushed the hair away that was clinging to her face. She glanced down at Lexa but she never even stirred while Clarke struggled to control her breathing. She tried to lie down but her heart was hammering wildly against her rib cage. Sighing in exasperation, she threw the covers off her and put on her nightgown, going to the window to at least get some relief from the cool breeze.

Moonlight was bathing Polis but the city looked relatively calm below. Clarke guessed that there would be another hour or two before the sun rose judging by the lack of people. Polis was only ever truly quiet for a couple of hours a day.

'Clarke...' Lexa murmured and Clarke turned back to her.

Lexa's hair was strewn all over her pillow and she struggled to sit up, rubbing her eyes.

'It's okay. Go back to sleep.'

Clarke heard Lexa groan at this suggestion and within a minute Lexa had thrown her own nightgown on and sidled up behind Clarke and wrapped her arms around her waist, resting her head on Clarke's shoulder.

'Another nightmare?'

'Yep.' Clarke replied bitterly.

'They were easing...'

'They were.' Clarke sighed and she felt Lexa tighten the embrace ever so slightly and Clarke allowed herself to relax into it.

The nightmares were an inconvenience but one that Clarke could often tolerate. She never needed much sleep anyway but the shift in the focus of her dreams had grown uncomfortable. After Lexa had been shot her dreams were dominated by that scene, yet since defeating ALIE they had become less and less prominent. Yet she'd woken to find herself fighting back the urge to vomit because of her dreams of Lexa dying. When she had first returned to Polis it had been easy to get swept up in what they were and just put to the back of her mind what they must face, but now as that threat drew closer Clarke found herself growing as anxious as she had been during the war against ALIE.

Octavia and Bellamy were not helping matters. Their hostilities towards Lexa, and the fact that they were putting so much pressure on Lexa's position reminded Clarke exactly of how fragile the Coalition had been when Nia had issued her challenge and Ontari had ended up seizing control of Polis. She thought of the Flame so far away and her heart dropped further. Clarke shivered slightly against the breeze but she had little desire to return to her bed and sleep.

'Do you ever get scared?' Clarke asked eventually.

'Yes.' Lexa said softly.

'When?'

'I was terrified when you ran back to help your mother in TonDC when the missile was about to strike.'

'Sorry.' Clarke mumbled guiltily.

'You did what you had to do.' Lexa sighed.

Clarke closed her eyes and leaned into Lexa's touch as she kissed the back of Clarke's neck and then head.

'I don't know what will happen but if we dwell on all that could go wrong then we'll squander the moments that we do have.' Lexa whispered.

'I think it's being here as well. I was so glad to be back, and I do feel safe here but then I remember Titus, Ontari and Aden...'

'Ontari's havoc was also overthrown here. Titus served me well but he does not need mourning. He accepted his fate and gladly went to meet it.'

'And Aden?'

Clarke felt sick again as she imagined what Ontari had done to him. Murphy had not talked in detail about Ontari but he'd given Clarke enough of a hint as to just how evil she was. It repulsed her that Ontari's blood now ran through her veins, as useful as it was.

'Aden is now at peace. His spirit will live on with those who he marked in life.'

'You still believe in the spirits?' Clarke asked surprised but not judgemental; the Grounders faith had been based upon the secrecy of the Flame but now Lexa knew how it operated.

'I'm now with you in two lives and not just one.' Lexa replied in wonder. 'And if I were to die today-'

Clarke took a sharp intake of breath at the thought but Lexa carried on.

'-that would not mean that I would be gone. Would you really forget me so quickly? Erase me from your soul? You would carry me with you, not inside the Flame but inside yourself- just as you keep your father close to you, and Finn and Wells.'

'They're gone.' Clarke whispered, strained.

'You believe in what you can see, Clarke but trust me; I will always be with you.'

Clarke's face broke into a sincere smile.

'You said that to me in the Flame.'

'Then it is true.' Lexa smirked.

* * *

'You're really going to the market?' Murphy groaned into his pillow, as Emori got ready.

'The sun will be up in an hour.' Emori said happily.

'Since when did you care about an honest day's work?' Murphy laughed, turning to look at her pull on her boots.

'Since you got me living with the Commander. I like risks but ending up on the wrong side of Lexa is something even I don't want to try.' Emori said, leaning over the bed and pulling Murphy into a quick kiss but she threw him back onto his pillow as he tried to pull her onto the bed.

'I didn't think she would even agree to let you come with us.'

'I don't think Lexa cares about my hand. She's not like the fools who spend all day getting drunk in the tavern and telling each other ghost stories of the nuclear fallout. She's been too busy with the coalition anyway.' Emori shrugged.

'And Clarke.'

'Which is a good thing.' Emori said, crawling on to the bed and straddling Murphy. 'With Clarke keeping the Commander busy, it frees up your day.'

She pulled him into a passionate kiss. Murphy's hands instantly gripped Emori's hips and he ran them along her sides, trying to lose himself into Emori but she pulled back slightly.

'So you can take a break while I go to work.'

'For fuck's sake.' Murphy groaned again, falling back onto the bed.

* * *

'What is it?' Kane asked as Octavia shut the door behind her to the council meeting room.

'The Grounder village that Bellamy attacked, you know they moved five miles West of our position after they poisoned their land?'

Kane nodded.

'Their leaders are saying that a fifteen year old boy has gone missing. He wasn't a warrior, he was with his friend. His friend also claims that he heard a gunshot and so the kid ran for it. He didn't know where his friend was but they've searched this morning and they've found nothing in the woods.'

'Oh God. Bellamy?' Kane whispered in despair.

'I'd bet my damn horse on it.' Octavia muttered.

'Lexa wants a meeting between us and Bellamy at Polis anyway next week. Perhaps it's best to leave the discussion until then?'

'He killed a kid and this isn't even just about us vs Bellamy. He's dragging Trikru into this mess again. How long until Trikru blame us for it and our presence in the Coalition?'

'They won't.' Kane replied firmly. 'Lexa is Trikru, Indra led them and now she's allied herself to you and we've opened up medical to accept anyone who needs aid from the surrounding villages. We've bound ourselves to Trikru. Everything we've done has been in the name of peace. Trikru are smart. They'll know the difference between us and Bellamy.'

'Then they'll still want justice from Bellamy.'

'We can't prove anything yet. We'll hold off until the meeting. Bellamy doesn't have to drag us down with him.' Kane replied earnestly.

'It's not right that he just does whatever the hell he wants and gets away with it.' Octavia seethed.

'He's going up against Lexa directly now by this action. He won't get away with it.' Kane insisted.

* * *

'I can talk now, Mom.' Clarke said into the radio.

Lexa had cancelled her meetings with the Ice Nation ambassadors. There was little point in it as they were still so weak after losing Nia and Roan in a matter of weeks. The new successor was from an entirely new blood line which Azgeda had not yet experienced. They were a lot quieter in the Coalition though so Lexa seemed happy. They were now lying on Lexa's bed but their peace had been shattered when her mother had radioed.

'Monty spoke to Raven today. Harper's sick.'

'Is she okay?' Clarke asked quickly, sitting up.

'Yes, for the last week she's been experiencing acute nausea until late afternoon.'

'Oh no.' Clarke muttered.

'What category prisoner was she on the Ark?' Clarke asked slowly.

'B.'

Lexa looked utterly bewildered but Clarke let out a roar of curses.

'The Mountain Men.' She snarled.

'That would be my suspicion.' Abby concurred. 'I've checked Octavia's arm and her implant is still intact. Obviously we can't check you.'

'I can't believe this.' Clarke said, bringing her knees up and resting her head against them.

'That was Monty's reaction.' Abby replied.

'How on Earth is Harper going to cope at the drop ship?' Clarke uttered.

'I don't know. I don't know what they're planning.'

'Okay, thanks, Mom.' Clarke said, signing off the radio before collapsing back onto the bed.

'What's wrong?' Lexa asked, rolling over and taking Clarke's hand.

'Harper's pregnant.' Clarke said. 'I should have known.'

'I don't understand.' Lexa said, seeing how defeated Clarke's reaction was.

'All prisoners on the Ark are given implants which sterilise us. Everyone who is category B or C are given implants which can be reversible. Category A aren't. Theirs are permanent. It was a way to control the population and make sure desirable people only ended up producing children. Category A prisoners were almost always floated anyway.' Clarke explained dully.

'Then how?'

'The Mountain Men. When they took us in they must have taken the implants out and given treatments to reverse the effects. That's the only way because Octavia would probably be pregnant by now. Dante had never wanted us to be used for bone marrow so his plan must have been to gradually make us a part of their gene pool.' Clarke felt violated.

The Mountain Men were still haunting them. This was happening to Harper entirely without her consent. It was disgusting. She didn't know what sickened her more, how the Ark treated them or how the Mountain Men did and yet everyone kept saying the Grounders were the savages.

'What category prisoner were you?' Lexa asked Clarke quietly.

'A.'


	25. Gunpowder, Treason and Plot

'Bellamy is going to kill us for this.' Jasper muttered as they made their way through the forest.

'You didn't have to come.' Monty snapped.

Jasper looked as though he was about to argue but he shook his head and his face softened.

'We've got this.'

'Good then you can both shut up.' Harper groaned, throwing herself round a tree to vomit .

* * *

'Why not summon them immediately?' Murphy asked Lexa once they were in the throne room.

Lexa sighed at the question. She still was not used to Murphy but he was efficient enough and he seemed to hold respect for Clarke and that she had achieved which was most unlike his people. There were also several reasons for why Lexa had delayed and the main one she wasn't sure she could explain to Murphy sufficiently. Raven needed Octavia away from Arkadia as soon as she got Lexa's blood into the Flame. She'd been complaining to Clarke on the radio for weeks about Octavia's interference but it was activating the chips that would take time and Raven needed to be working alongside Monty and Wick without interruptions.

'Azgeda and their new King has been the most pressing matter.' Lexa replied and this had been partly true. Lexa had to send supplies to Azgeda as the new monarch had managed to already send the once great nation into a state of potential famine by mismanaging the rare crop land they held and had raised taxes to such a point people were threatening to riot. Lexa had managed to stem the threat of these crises but she had also hoped that Octavia simply needed time. Lexa had not forgotten what it meant to be new to leadership. She had hoped that Octavia would soon calm and make an offer to engage in diplomatic talks with Bellamy, particularly as that was what Kane had been urging for some time.

Kane had also personally pleaded her for time. He knew that as soon as they enter Polis Lexa would not be able to back down. She would have to make an example of Bellamy for everything that had happened but Bellamy was still held in high regard among many of Skaikru. Kane feared a move against him would result in another Pike situation. Clarke had not given an opinion and said she had trusted Lexa. She had granted them the maximum of a week. They understood what that would mean and she hoped that would be enough to propel them to reason.

* * *

'Yes!' Raven shouted in glee, turning round to hug Wick although they quickly broke apart.

'It's accepted Lexa's blood?'

Raven beamed and nodded in response.

'Now we need to work Clarke through the system' Raven told him quickly.

'Great because my bridge device is ready. I've used one of the ALIE chips and modified it so it should be aligned closely with the Flame and then we can hook all the other chips up with it once we get them switched on.' Wick explained.

'Clarke could end up with the same control when she takes that chip as Lexa.'

'I doubt it will be as strong but she will get some benefits of the Flame.' Wick said.

'Good because those two could just about kick the entire world's ass.' Raven muttered.

'Yeah...is something going on there?' Wick said, smirking.

'Clueless...engineers never notice anything.' Raven responded.

'What?' Wick asked, racing his hands in defence. 'I was all ALIE chipped and I'm not in your little club. I don't know the gossip.'

'We do not have a club.' Raven snorted.

'Sure you do, you, Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia, Monty and Jasper. I know how things work. You guys are the popular kids.'

'Oh yeah.' Raven mocked. 'Even though hardly any of us are still speaking.'

'You always end up with the best digs wherever you are though.'

Raven shot him a glare but found she couldn't argue the point.

* * *

Bellamy rushed through the woods. They didn't have much time. Trikru was already suspicious over the missing boy and many of the villagers were now wandering into their territory trying to find the body. Bellamy knew they would not. He'd left it for the panthers, he'd cut the body to make sure the smell of blood would reach the animals. He couldn't bury the boy with their dead so it was the easiest way to sort the situation. His legs were aching. He'd not stopped since midnight, hoping that they would be prepared by the next nightfall. The anger of the villagers over what had happened with Pike was enough to burn down the whole forest and Bellamy knew that. He allowed himself to slow only when he could see the walls of the drop ship.

He swung his backpack over his shoulder and opened it gently, pulling out a glass jar of liquid rocket fuel. He placed it gently back in his backpack, grateful that it hadn't leaked or been damaged by how much he had ran. It had been a desperate plan but a guarantee against Trikru. Bellamy would not leave them exposed to another battle like last time where they had barely made it out with their lives. It had been cursing Raven for abandoning him that had given him the idea. The factory station had not been completely destroyed and so he chanced that there would be enough fuel contained to be able to salvage some for a bomb. He'd seen how little Raven had needed to blow the bridge. It had taken hours to walk around the canyon and find a safe way to climb down and then back up. He could only hope that the others would maintain things but he did not hold the same trust for them as he would have had he left their fates to Clarke. Now he and Mercole could make several out of their gun powder along the areas where Trikru were aiming for. If they came within a mile of the drop ship then they would experience the power of the sky people and they would never challenge them again.

* * *

'We are unarmed!' Monty shouted.

'It's Monty, Harper and Jasper!' Miller said, running to Octavia.

Octavia told the guard to check the perimeter before bringing them in to check that it was not a set up of Bellamy's. As soon as they were given the all clear Octavia ran to them as the gates opened and threw herself at Monty and then pulled Jasper and Harper into deep hugs.

'What the hell?' Octavia asked in surprise.

Octavia watched as Monty and Harper shot each other nervous looks.

'We need to speak to Abby.' Monty said.

Octavia stepped back. Harper looked terrible, Octavia had to admit but rage flooded her that this alone was why they had returned.

'And then you're just going to leave again?' Octavia questioned. 'I know about the boy Bellamy killed and the two scouts of ours he murdered before that.'

'We'll stay.' Harper said quickly. 'But please, Octavia. I need to see Abby now.'

Octavia quickly agreed and Monty and Harper rushed to medical.

'You okay?' Octavia asked Jasper.

'Better than Bellamy will be when he finds out we've gone.'

* * *

'Where the hell are they?' Bellamy roared.

'No one has seen them since last night.' Mercole told him.

Bellamy kicked at the nearest wooden table, making half of it collapse. As soon as he had gone they had disappeared. Monty had said he would stay with him. Jasper hated Clarke; it made no sense. Clarke had locked up nearly a dozen of his people in Arkadia who had been captured by the guard. It was almost as bad as if Clarke came into the camp and it raided it for herself. He had even been summoned to see Lexa next week. He'd shot the grounder who had dared walk into this place and summon him but Bellamy had no intention of not attending. Let the grounders see what they were made of. He would walk into Polis and show them that he didn't need them.

'No one else gets taken.' Bellamy shouted. 'And we will get our people back.'

* * *

Clarke watched patiently as Lexa finished thanking the leading healers of Polis for their service to their people and clapped along with the rest of the audience at their praise. It was pleasant for Clarke to be able to watch Lexa so comfortable, without being dragged into a war meeting but just being able to take the time to appreciate the pleasure that being Heda could give so many.

Clarke waited as the last guests left the throne room and Lexa ordered her guards to leave.

'Raven has got the Flame to accept your blood.'

'See, patience, Clarke.' Lexa smiled.

'We're running out of time, Lexa.' Clarke sighed.

Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand with the one that held Jake's watch and Clarke instantly ran her fingers over it.

'But we are not yet out of time.' Lexa said, giving her a chaste kiss.

'I think I've gotten used to not being dragged into battles.' Clarke admitted.

'That's all that I wish for from this life for you.' Lexa smiled.

Clarke however grinned mischievously and played with Lexa's fingers in her own, pressing herself closer to Lexa and kissing her. As Lexa lost herself in the kiss Clarke took advantage of her distraction and moved them backwards so that Lexa ended up collapsing into the throne.

'Clarke, the throne?' Lexa questioned, exasperated.

Clarke straddled Lexa, thankful that the chair was more sturdy than it looked.

'You've really never thought about it?' Clarke husked, biting softly at Lexa's neck and then trailing kisses along it.

Clarke did not miss the way that Lexa swallowed and she pulled back to see Lexa's eyes already clouded with lust. Clarke's hands ghosted over Lexa's breasts. Lexa would hardly be able to feel anything over her commander's outfit but Lexa leaned into the touch and swallowed again. Clarke's fingers then trailed down Lexa's stomach, as the woman below let out a shaky breath and then they reached under Lexa's clothes and down her underwear.

'Because it kind of seems like you want this.' Clarke whispered, kissing Lexa deeply.

Lexa moaned into the kiss as Clarke's fingers danced lightly over her. Clarke knew that already Lexa was struggling and wanted Clarke to touch her properly but seeing Lexa like this was just too good. Clarke let out a gasp of surprise when Lexa bit on her bottom lip and before Clarke could do anything, Lexa lad lifted Clarke and turned them around and was now climbing to straddle Clarke.

'Fuck.' Clarke muttered.

'You need to train more.' Lexa smirked.

'I was distracted! My training-'

Clarke was cut off by a ferocious kiss from Lexa and she instantly reacted by pulling Lexa closer to her.

Clarke moaned loudly when Lexa's knee pressed against her centre and her hips bucked immediately. Lexa laughed at the reversal in the situation but Clarke didn't have time to complain as Lexa used the break in the kiss to strip Clarke of her shirt and bra and palm her breast so that Clarke was gasping. 'Fuck.' Clarke panted as she rested her head against Lexa's shoulder. She bit down on her shoulder as she throbbed against Lexa's thigh and Lexa continued to tease her breasts but her mouth found cool metal. The metallic taste gathered some of her senses back and she quickly removed the commander's shoulder plate and threw it across the throne room which evoked a look of indignation from Lexa. Clarke did not have to suffer the glare for long as she quickly removed Lexa of her own shirt and cupped Lexa's breast. Lexa pushed herself harder into Clarke at the contact.

' _Lexa_...'

Clarke's hips moved of her own accord, her centre desperately seeking more. Clarke slid her hand down Lexa again and she was soaked now. Clarke slipped her fingers inside and Lexa pushed herself into them as they curled around her. They moved together, getting impossibly closer and Lexa moaned loudly with each moment and Clarke knew she was addicted to the sound but she still prayed the guards outside couldn't hear them.

As Lexa clamped down around Clarke, her own orgasm ripped through her and she fell back onto the chair, pulling Lexa with her.

Lexa panted heavily and threw both legs over Clarke's and Clarke stroked her back as she cradled Lexa.

'Wonder how many times this throne has been used for that.' Clarke said between heavy breaths.

'I'd rather not think about it.' Lexa laughed.

'Now I've got a good reason to look forward to your meetings.' Clarke teased emitting a look of feigned annoyance from Lexa.

* * *

'Are you sure this will work?'

'Quiet.' Bellamy ordered his companions.

They waited in the shadows as Trikru advanced. It had been bad enough with the effective blockade from Skaikru but Trikru had grown more and more aggravated as the days went by and they had still not located the missing boy. Their anger had seeped into camp and now everyone had been on edge with nerves. Clarke must have told them that it was his fault, Bellamy assumed. With Skaikru halving their territory and now the encroachment from Trikru they had little option. Bellamy couldn't risk an all out assault and so he hoped this demonstration of power would be enough of a warning.

He watched as they drew closer from his scope before he gave the order.

'Do it.'

All five of them lit their fuses with had been made of wire and gun powder and the glows were dragged along the forest like fireflies.

'Over there!' Someone shouted.

Bellamy held his breath as he watched the glows go further and further away. Within seconds there was an almighty explosion and Bellamy threw his face to the scope of his gun to watch for activity. Another explosion followed and then three more shuddered through the woods. Smoke burned Bellamy's unexposed eyed but he blinked back tears, scanning the area. One person screamed in pain but the rest had surely been killed. Bellamy spotted the man and fired once, ceasing his cries of pain.


	26. Broken Hope

'What the hell was that?' Octavia muttered, sleepily, stumbling out of bed and into the grounds of Arkadia.

A series of loud thuds rumbled through the forest and most of the residents of Arkadia had now spilled onto the grounds and were watching the flames in the distance.

'Indra, Miller, get a team ready. We have to go and help anyone in the area and find out what the hell happened!' Octavia shouted.

Miller ran to get the rover ready but Indra grabbed Octavia before she could move to get her the horse.

'You must stay.' Indra told her. 'You are our leader. Let us deal with the situation and then you can decide what to do.'

'I can't just stay here!' Octavia hissed.

Octavia knew Bellamy must have been involved. It was her brother and she was chancellor, it was her responsibility for any lives lost. She was sick of doing nothing.

'That is what it means to lead.' Indra said firmly, pushing Octavia back in the direction of Arkadia.

* * *

Clarke groaned into Lexa's back when she heard Kane on the radio.

'Why can no one ever sleep in?' Clarke mumbled, grabbing the radio.

'They're your people.' Lexa muttered.

Clarke threw her a dark look.

'They're your people too, remember?'

'Not at this hour.' Lexa responded drily while Clarke flicked on the radio.

'What now?' Clarke demanded, not even keeping the irritation out of her voice.

'Bellamy set off five small bombs last night, blowing half the forest up and over two dozen grounder villagers with it.'

'What?' Clarke shouted, sitting up.

Lexa's eyes were alive with rage and she took the radio from Clarke.

'What happened?'

'A young boy from the resettled village went missing. They came to us and we assuired them that we were not responsible but Octavia made it clear their answers lay with Bellamy. They've been searching the woods around the drop ship for days and Bellamy took advantage-'

'By blowing them up?' Clarke spluttered, outraged.

'Yes.'

Clarke watched the tension consume Lexa's body. Clarke knew that she didn't have a leg to stand on. She couldn't stop a war after this. Mistaking an armed ally was one thing, but blowing people up who were looking for a murdered relative was another.

'I'm ordering Trikru to bring Bellamy here. If he does not come then we will attack the drop ship. Kane, bring Octavia here too. I'm advancing the date of the meeting.' Lexa ordered.

'What are you going to do?' Clarke asked in a low voice.

'Finish this.' Lexa responded easily.

* * *

Octavia winced in pain, nursing her hand.

'Punching a metal wall isn't the best plan you've ever had.' Jasper commented, leaning against the doorway to Octavia's quarters.

'Yeah, well, I don't have access to Bellamy's face.' Octavia muttered.

Indra had choked over the words when she relayed the report of what had happened to Octavia. Guilt gnawed at her; she should have dealt with Bellamy. She couldn't believe Clarke had left her with all of this. She wasn't a leader, this wasn't her problem. All she had tried to do was create peace but ever since they had landed Bellamy and, to a lesser extent, Clarke had become addicted to murdering in a bid to solve their problems. Clarke had only cared about jus no drein jus daun when it suited her and even that didn't include saving Lincoln.

'You heading out to Polis soon?'

Octavia nodded.

'He thinks Clarke is running things here.'

Octavia snorted. Clarke had made her choice. The only thing she cared about was Lexa and it was a blessing that she had turned their backs on them again. If Clarke had been running things they'd all probably be dead by now.

'That's because he checked out and never looked back. If he had just tried to talk to us and work things out this wouldn't have happened.' Octavia spat.

'Things happen.' Jasper shrugged.

'Things happen? That's it?' Octavia repeated loudly.

'I don't think I can start to explain everything that's happened, can you?' Jasper asked.

'Yeah, actually, Bellamy wanted a fight so he started one with anyone he could. That's pretty much it.' Octavia snapped.

'He didn't cause what happened with the Mountain Men.'

'Neither did Clarke but you still hate her.' Octavia threw at him.

'If I hated her I would have left her to die when I had the chance.' Jasper replied. 'I thought I hated her. She still makes me sick. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at her again and not feel it, you know? But I don't want to. I remember, how happy she was to see that we were okay after the war. I see how she cares and how that was what made her do what she did. I can't stand that responsibility.'

Octavia turned away from Jasper as her tears fell. Of course she knew what Jasper meant, that's how she had felt about Clarke too and how her rage with Bellamy had been consuming her. The difference was that Clarke had stopped. Clarke had done what she needed to do to keep them safe and then she had stopped. She'd abandoned them but at least she had given up on murder. Bellamy hadn't stopped with his desire to play the hero. Bellamy wouldn't be happy until everyone else was dead.

* * *

'Maybe I could reach out to Bellamy.' Kane sighed as he sat down on his bed next to Abby.

He was due to leave Arkadia within the hour but he had no idea of what to expect except from a no doubt furious Lexa but he knew it was going to be nothing good for Bellamy. This alone could demand the return of blood must have blood but Lexa would not waver. Polis could be plunged into yet another political mess. Lexa's position would be more vulnerable than ever now.

'Bellamy proved with Pike that he's beyond listening.' Abby said sadly.

'We have to find a way to live together or this whole thing will fall apart. This was the last thing we needed.'

Abby took his hand in hers and stroked his hair back.

'Octavia going to Polis means that she will at least stop checking on what Raven's doing every hour.' Abby said and Marcus laughed.

'Some consolation for blowing up five bombs.'

'It could have been worse.' Abby said.

'How?' Marcus asked incredulously.

'It could have been six.'

'There's still time.' Marcus warned without humour.

* * *

'So Bellamy blew up the Grounders. Just like old times.' Murphy drawled.

'They will be arriving tomorrow. I'll meet with Bellamy alone.' Lexa told him.

Clarke stared at Lexa shocked. She didn't know what to expect from that, just that she did not trust Bellamy.

'They'll be searched, Princess, before they get here. No weapons in Polis bar Lexa's guards.' Murphy reminded her.

'I know and don't call me that.' Clarke snapped.

'Wanheda...' Murphy corrected with a smirk.

'You should let me talk to Bellamy first.' Clarke insisted.

'No,' Lexa replied, looking at her directly and Clarke instantly deflated, 'you have spoken with Bellamy before and it has not stopped him. His issue predominantly lies with me.'

Clarke closed her mouth and bit back the urge to argue. Bellamy did hate Lexa but this was not brought about because of their differences, this was because of what Bellamy had chosen. He hated all grounders, he seethed that he had not been completely followed and the idea of integration turned his stomach. In some ways, this was much more about fighting Clarke than fighting Lexa. Lexa was just the easiest target.

'You're not his Commander. What do you think this will achieve?' Clarke asked, bewildered.

'A resolution.' Lexa said with finality.

* * *

'That rat got the idea from me.' Raven snapped, never taking her eyes off the monitor.

'I shouldn't have left.' Monty said quietly, as he sat next to Raven.

'What are you talking about?' Raven asked.

'He needed us. I knew that he was falling apart-'

'No, Monty.' Wick told him firmly. 'Harper needed you. She's damn well allowed to get medical treatment when she needs it. That's no justification for blowing up people.'

'Thanks.' Monty smiled at his old friend. 'At least Octavia is on her way to Polis now.'

'Son of a bitch.' Raven said, slamming her fists on the table and making Monty and Wick jump.

'Raven,' Wick soothed but she shrugged him off when she felt his hand on her shoulder.

'Don't.' Raven said, her eyes not leaving the screen. 'The chips still aren't working.'

'We knew this would take the longest time of the plan.' Wick replied.

'It'll take less time now I'm back.' Monty said. 'Syncing up data, opening portals, communication- my speciality, but do you mind telling me why we're doing this?'

Raven felt both Wick and Monty staring at her. She had told neither of them exactly what was going on and she was pretty sure she knew both of them would want to tell people. Monty would definitely tell Harper and probably Jasper. Jasper was at least not drunk these days so his mouth wouldn't run at a hundred miles an hour but he still was so angry at Clarke and if he learnt that it was her idea to keep this quiet he'd probably tell everyone just to get her back. It was why he'd taken Finn's ashes which she had still yet to tell Clarke.

'Because Clarke asked us to.' Raven said and both of them fell quiet, knowing she would not reveal anything else.

'The chips will still take time. We're trying to set up basically everything without ALIE and get it working alongside the Flame. It's basically the reverse of when ALIE tried to upload the Flame, now the Flame is trying to upload the chips.' Monty said. 'But if I can get just one working, it'll be much quicker to replicate it with the other chips.'

'Raven, you said we still have months.' Wick pointed out.

'If anything actually sticks to plan.' Raven responded sourly.


	27. No Redemption

'How long have you been awake?' Clarke croaked, turning over in Lexa's arms to see Lexa staring down softly at her.

'A little while.' Lexa sighed, stroking Clarke's arm.

'Are you worried about everything with Bellamy and Octavia?' Clarke asked.

'No.' Lexa replied, honestly. 'I'm with you.'

Clarke blushed at the response and struggled to stop herself from grinning. It was so much easier to believe that nothing else was going on behind these quarters. Yet as soon as they left she knew that Lexa would be beseiged by angry members of Trikru and threats of death from Bellamy. She shifted closer to Lexa at the thought but banished all concerns from her mind. She had promised Lexa she would not get lost to her anxiety over what lay ahead again and would enjoy each moment they got. Whatever was waiting for her she would meet it. She did not need to waste time now.

'It's weird. Them being here.' Clarke said, after a moment.

'Why is that?'

'I don't know. I'm out of place with them, I don't have a role here, your people whisper about me. I'm like the dirty little not so secret.' Clarke mused.

Clarke didn't even know if Lexa wanted her opinion on the matter of Bellamy. Lexa had never tried to shut her out yet but this was sensitive and she was heavily biased. The bombing had horrified her though but she was not sure how she would cope at the prospect of her people being wiped out. They may have chosen Bellamy but that was largely out of loyalty. Bellamy had risked his life for them so many times and so many had been traumatised by different battles. Clarke herself had stalked off into the woods and hadn't looked back. She could not blame them for that, her anger was simply at Bellamy's actions and those who helped him carry them out.

Facing Octavia and Bellamy was something she was dreading. She had little standing now and although that was by her own choice it was now incredibly frustrating when she just wanted to bang their heads together. Murphy's comments about her and Lexa were tiresome enough as it was. Her relationship felt like it was on trial too. Octavia would no doubt scoff at anything Lexa said and then would demand Clarke talk her round, while Bellamy would imply she was a traitor for her loyalites.

'You're right.' Lexa replied finally, watching Clarke closely.

'I am?' Clarke repeated in surprise.

'Yes.' Lexa said softly. 'We should get married.'

Clarke's eyes narrowed. She was sure she had heard wrong. Yet Lexa's eyes revealed no trace of a joke or that what she had said was somehow an accident. There was a quiet vow behind them.

'What did you just say?' Clarke spluttered.

* * *

Lexa was seated on her throne with Murphy at her side as two guards entered with Bellamy following close behind.

'Leave us.' Lexa declared, her eyes never leaving Bellamy.

He was wearing the guard's uniform she had seen when they had worked together to bring down ALIE. He looked as defiant as ever and Lexa regarded him with a cold stare. The guards turned to leave and she nodded to Murphy to follow them.

'Don't fuck this up.' Lexa heard him mutter as he walked passed Bellamy.

At least Murphy's bluntness was amusing. Bellamy glanced around the room and he moved his weight from one leg to the other, seemingly nervous or perhaps out of place as Lexa could not remember a time they had ever been alone together. The last time they had been in this room Clarke had spent the majority of the afternoon unconscious and they had fought to protect her at all costs. Clarke was the only thing that had ever brought them together.

'Would you like me to ask Clarke to join us?' Lexa asked and Bellamy's face contorted with rage as he did not miss the implication that was held in the question.

'I don't need her to hold my hand.' Bellamy spat.

'On the contrary,' Lexa replied smoothly, 'if you had followed Clarke you would not be in this predicament now.'

'Trikru were invading our territory-'

Lexa held a hand up to silence him and Bellamy merely laughed at the gesture.

'The villagers were attempting to locate the body of a young man you killed without provocation.'

Bellamy's eyes widened.

'He was wearing armor!'

Lexa sat back in her chair. Bellamy could now not deny that he had been responsible for his slaying.

'He was a young man, intrigued about the Sky People. He had been trained since a child to act as healer. He had taken what garments he could find for camouflage. His friend said he had been curious since you landed and more so when you decided to follow your own path. He was not in any way a threat.'

The story of the young man had reminded her to some extent of Lincoln. He had always wanted to know about the culture of the sky people and to find a way to live together. Now both were dead and Bellamy played a hand either directly or indirectly in each death.

'You can say what you like.' Bellamy retorted.

'I can bring his grieving friend to relay his account of the events to you, or perhaps the boy's parents?' Lexa challenged icily.

Bellamy, if possible, looked even more furious at Lexa but she did not miss the ghost of fear flicker across his eyes.

'What do you want from me?' Bellamy shouted.

Lexa slowly stood up from her chair and made her way down the steps until she was mere inches from his face. Bellamy looked positively terrified now. Her hand quickly pulled her dagger out of its sheath and held it out to him.

'An end to this.'

Bellamy stepped back, regarding the knife with fear.

'What is this?'

'You say I am the root of your problems then take charge and finish this.'

Bellamy looked from Lexa's eyes to the knife and she did not miss the longing on his face but her hand did not waver.

'You think I won't?'

'No, I do not.' Lexa replied.

Bellamy hated her. Lexa was no fool about that and she despised him with the same force in return. Bellamy, however, would never do such an action. He had held the idea that her people were some sort of a threat but in this instance he could not justify his actions any longer. Lexa was standing ready to die and despite his protestations about their cruelty he would not kill someone in such a way. Bellamy was driven by anger and a desire to unleash it on a fight against an enemy he had constructed in his own mind. He would not best someone defenceless like this. It was not his convictions, but his sense of injustice and helplessness that had driven him to this.

Bellamy swallowed. His hand inched forward but then he stepped back and shut his eyes firmly for a minute.

'No.'

'Then you have two options: reparations paid to the villagers, in the form of territory and any aid or protection they need around their settlement, and those involved in the bombing facing a prison sentence or all out war with the thirteen clans. Skaikru and Trikru alone surround you, and unlike at Arkadia, you do not have an almost unlimited supply of ammunition. Octavia has already either imprisoned a considerable amount of your people or has provided them shelter. Your people will be slaughtered. Choose your option wisely.'

'You still think you're in control.' Bellamy laughed bitterly.

'I offered you control and you refused. You were given control when you walked away from Arkadia and despite your promises to avoid war you have murdered scouts, an innocent young man and then bombed villagers who were looking for a loved one.' Lexa replied with disgust.

Bellamy shook his head.

Lexa regarded him curiously.

'You know that we have a greater fight than this. Are you willing to let your anger risk everyone's fate?'

'I don't know anything. Clarke didn't tell me.' Bellamy retorted childishly.

'But she did. She told you our fight was not over and you walked away. We have been preparing for weeks while you have waged a futile war.'

'I didn't know!' Bellamy defended.

'Because you chose not to. So what is your choice now to be?' Lexa prompted, all patience dropping from her voice.

This had not been a conversation Lexa had particularly been looking forward to. Bellamy lacked all pragmatism, much like his sister. Everything that happened was the result of an impulse. Clarke, no matter how her emotions managed to give her such power, always considered the best possible option. Even when she was at her most reckless, there was often some sort of a plan, even with her disastrous one to try to kill Nia. Bellamy just did what he felt like and then blamed the fall out on everyone else.

Bellamy half looked as though he wished he'd used the dagger on himself. His attempt to break away from Lexa had been such folly that now he was looking at either death by her army or imprisonment. Bellamy was a fool but he would not risk his remaining people.

'It's not as though you left me a choice.' He responded drily.

* * *

'O?' Bellamy stood up in his quarters.

Guards had stayed outside his door but he knew this should not bother him. He'd soon be in a cell.

Octavia walked in, eyes blazing and she shook her head in disgust.

'Why?' She eventually demanded.

'O, they started it.' Bellamy said, pleading for her to understand. 'There were scouts within hours of us settling-'

'Yeah, they were my scouts.' Octavia told him, icily.

Bellamy's eyes flicked to the chancellor's pin.

'You're?'

'Yes.'

'Clarke?'

'Has been here this whole time.' Octavia responded.

'I didn't know-'

'That's because you didn't bother to ask!' Octavia shouted. 'You promised you didn't want war and the second you see anyone around the drop ship you kill them.'

'I was protecting us.' Bellamy said fiercely.

'That's why you shot a fifteen year old?'

Bellamy snorted.

'They use children in war. How was I supposed to know he wasn't dangerous?'

He was not about to be lectured by Octavia on this. He had watched as hundreds of them had surrounded their camp and tried to murder them all. Octavia was swayed by her entanglement with Lincoln but Bellamy would not forget all that they had done.

'They kept coming into our territory. They got closer every single day. Everyone was terrified.'

Octavia turned away from him and he didn't dare move. He wanted nothing more to wrap her into a hug but he wasn't sure he recognised her. She hated him now and all he had done was try to protect them all. He'd risked his life time and again to keep them safe.

'I don't know who you are. I don't know what you are.' Octavia said, her voice shaking. 'On the way into Polis, I was trying to think of just when this started. When it was that you ended up becoming this but I think maybe you were right, maybe this was who you've always been.

'You always needed someone to blame. The council, my dad for wanting his real family, Jaha, Clarke, the Grounders. You will always need someone to hate.'

'No, O.' Bellamy said firmly. 'I've always needed to protect you.'

'I don't need protecting. I was fine when I came down here. I never asked for you to do any of this. Even now, you've killed all those people and you still manage to find a way to blame everyone else for it because their lives just don't matter to you, do they?'

Bellamy looked shocked at the question. They were the enemy. It was war. He didn't see why he should consider their fate when they'd been so utterly focused on destroying them.

'We are not them. They will never stop trying to kill us.' Bellamy insisted.

'The thing is, Bell, we all think the same about you.'

* * *

Lexa returned to her quarters where Clarke was sketching on the sofa. She looked up instantly at Lexa who offered her a smile.

'Well?' Clarke asked, putting her sketch pad down on the table but Lexa picked it up as she sat next to her and stared at her picture of Aden.

'This is beautiful. It's just like him.'

Clarke rolled her eyes impatiently.

'I wanted it to be a gift for you. I just don't want it to feel like we've forgotten him.'

'Clarke, we could never.' Lexa murmured.

'I know but please tell me what happened?' Clarke pressed anxiously.

Lexa had been surprised that Clarke had not at any point just barged into the meeting. She'd always come and gone as she had pleased in Polis but Lexa chose to take this as a sign of trust and she also knew of how weary Clarke was of having to deal with Bellamy and Skaikru's lust for blood.

'He's agreed to submit. There will be no war and all those involved in the bombing will face prison, and reparations will be paid to the village.' Lexa sighed, leaning back and rubbing her temple but Clarke caught her hand.

'I don't know how you talked him round but thank you.' Clarke said quietly.

Lexa nodded.

Even now Bellamy still represented strength and hope to Clarke. They had come through so much together and had seen horrific things that still kept Clarke up at night, even before what they faced on the Mountain, Bellamy had been someone who Clarke could count on for his resilience. Clarke was as repulsed by him as much as she felt she needed him.

'He had little choice.'

'That's usually when Bellamy goes into fight mode.' Clarke replied.

'He's not that much of a fool.' Lexa muttered and Clarke smiled.

'At least you're not being jealous about him now, I suppose.'

'I was never jealous.'

Clarke scoffed in response.

'I was merely curious about how close you were.' Lexa replied lightly.

'Liar.' Clarke laughed.

Clarke threw her legs over Lexa and Clarke pulled Lexa on top of her.

'You never had anything to worry about.' Clarke whispered beneath her.

Clarke reached up and cupped Lexa's face and kissed her tenderly. Clarke's features were a look of surprise when Lexa pulled back.

'So do you have an answer for me, Clarke?'

Clarke sighed.

'I can't believe you proposed like that.' Clarke groaned and she sat up, pulling Lexa with her.

Lexa sat across from her, kneeling on the sofa and watching Clarke intently.

'You made it sound like a political solution to an annoying problem.'

'You are not an annoying problem.' Lexa refuted.

'Oh thanks. I'm touched.' Clarke replied sarcastically.

'I want to marry you and that's why I asked.' Lexa told her earnestly.

'You didn't ask. It was more like a suggestion.' Clarke reminded her quickly.

'Will you marry me?'

'What?' Clarke asked, eyes wide.

'I've asked.' Lexa replied, bewildered at Clarke's shock.

'That's not what I meant-'

'What do you want, Clarke?'

Clarke groaned loudly.

'I don't know. It's not like I was expecting you to light a million more candles around the place. Truth be told, I didn't expect you to want to marry me at all.'

'Why?' Lexa asked, shocked.

'You're the Commander.' Clarke replied in a tone that suggested she thought Lexa had forgotten her basic information such as her title and her own name.

'I hadn't noticed.' Lexa replied sarcastically.

'Commanders have never been married.'

'I really don't care about their love lives.' Lexa replied.

Clarke rolled her eyes in annoyance. Her stomach had fluttered wildly when Lexa had first asked her, or suggested it but it was absurd. Her people would never accept it. They had far more pressing concerns and this life hardly ever allowed for love.

'Clarke,' Lexa started, taking her hands in her own, 'I accept if this is too soon or not something you want but I would like to marry you. I want to be with you through everything.'

Clarke's eyes were swimming with emotion and she sighed in exasperation.

'It's so annoying when you do these things out of nowhere like kissing me and that damn vow of fealty and I forget everything I was going to-'

Lexa cut her off with a swift kiss.

'Clarke, get to the answer.' Lexa said smiling and pressing her forehead against Clarke's.

'If it matters that much to you then I guess I can.' Clarke replied, shrugging.

'Clarke-' Lexa started in a warning tone.

'Yes, Lexa.' Clarke beamed, and she pressed a series of light kisses to Lexa's forehead, nose and lips.

'I will marry you.'

* * *

Clarke was sat to Lexa's left with Murphy standing awkwardly between them. The leaders of all the clans had been assembled. Indra, stood behind Octavia and Kane. Lexa had lifted the order of imprisonment for Indra for this entire visit. She had hoped that if Octavia and Bellamy clashed, her obvious loyalty for Octavia would mean that she would be able to offer words of comfort and clarity to the hot headed chancellor. The relationship that they shared was one that Lexa had never known with Indra. Octavia had gone to Indra, ready to learn and be moulded into the warrior Indra envisioned whereas Lexa had accepted her duty to her people but out of necessity for that was what the tradition demanded. Lexa had often disagreed with Indra's methods but she understood why Indra's character was such a force of nature; she had seen decades of wars and battles but this also meant that she poured all of her being into each moment, often overlooking the bigger picture. Indra had treated Lexa with an often grudging respect even when Indra had been her most loyal. She had defended the decision with the missile because she was desperate for the blood of the Mountain Men and revenge, while Lexa had made the decision with her head. It drew the same conclusion but they always reached their own decisions for different motives even when they agreed.

Bellamy was sat across from Octavia, his eyes never leaving her but she refused to look at him. Her right leg was twitching and she was clearly anxious to finish this too. Clarke seemed quite at ease and shot Lexa a brief but genuine smile. Clarke had been visibly relieved at the agreement reached with Bellamy. Clarke's pain at the idea of Bellamy being imprisoned was swiftly overshadowed at her joy at war being avoided. Lexa sensed that at some point Bellamy would be needed and she knew Clarke well enough to know that she would not settle for Bellamy being stuck inside a cell. It was an argument she was not looking forward to addressing.

'Leaders of the thirteen clans and Bellamy, leader of the people of the ship, we are gathered here today to address the tensions around Arkadia, the dropship and the lands of Trikru.'

Lexa looked around at her clan leaders and Bellamy. Bellamy never shifted in his seat and his gaze was still on Octavia. Her clan leaders looked at her with a mixture of respect and reservation but she did not miss the hunger in their eyes. Lexa had won back a lot of support by maintaining peace between the clans despite the persistent annoyance of Bellamy. However, the bombings had shattered Trikru's heart and she knew that if Trikru themselves turned on her then the others may follow. She would be protected by Skaikru but holding together the Coalition would be a more difficult undertaking than ever if Trikru demanded blood must have blood, and it had been the demand of the very same village that Bellamy had attacked on Pike's orders.

'Those members responsible for the bombings, including Bellamy, will face imprisonment within Polis. The rest of their people will also now join with Arkadia. They will be monitored closely and are not to leave the settlement under pain of death; this will be the price of their treachery for abandoning their people. Furthermore, reparations will be made to the village that was plagued by violence. Nothing can bring back the lives that were so cruelly taken but we can begin to move forward together. Skaikru, will help support the defences of the village and the territory around the drop ship will pass into the claim of Trikru.'

Lexa did not miss the mutterings of approval and nods of respect between the clan leaders, including Trikru. She glanced to Indra who finally caught her eye and saw no fury there at this solution. In fact, she seemed almost hopeful.

'No.' Octavia spoke up loudly, still not looking at her brother but nor did she look at Lexa. 'The crimes of Bellamy to Skaikru and Trikru are great. The reparations must be made but I cannot accept Bellamy's fate. It is an insult against my people.'

Lexa stiffened in her chair. Octavia's voice wavered over each passing word and Lexa was sure that she had no idea what she was doing. It was anger driving her and that sent Lexa's blood cold with fear. Octavia had nothing to lose and Lexa knew a person with nothing to lose was often far more dangerous than someone who had everything to fight for.

'So I issue the challenge.' Octavia said, her voice trembling. 'A contest, to rival Heda and Roan's, to put an end to the bloodshed. After all that has been done, death is the only way to peace.'

Lexa's eyes were wide. Bellamy had leaned forward in his chair and Lexa was surprised he hadn't jumped across the room to plead with Octavia but his face seemed to be marked with defeat. Lexa had little praise for Bellamy but she was certain that he would not allow anyone to fight his sister and nor would he send one of his people to their deaths. He would fight for himself, and he would allow Octavia to murder him just as he had allowed her to attack him in the cave.

Clarke had paled and her eyes darted from Bellamy to Octavia. Lexa was surprised that Clarke had not spoken out at this but Clarke looked as though she couldn't even begin to comprehend what was happening.

'And if I die, my people join yours anyway?' Bellamy asked and Octavia nodded.

This was not about Lexa's solution. This was Octavia needing to break free of Bellamy.

'Then I will fight.' Bellamy said, his voice stretched thin and he sat back in his chair, his eyes dull. 'I won't allow anyone to die for me.'

'Octavia,' Murphy prompted, all usual confidence and sarcasm missing from his voice, 'you will fight for Skairu?'

'No.' Octavia replied curtly.

Kane visibily recoiled in shock next to Octavia but Indra stepped forward and put her hand on Octavis' shoulder as she stared at Bellamy with a murderous longing.

'Wanheda will fight for Skaikru.'

Lexa flinched in her chair and turned to Clarke whose horrified expression mirrored her own.


	28. Survivor's Instinct

Clarke struggled to breathe in Lexa's quarters.

'What the hell is she doing? Is this revenge because for the missile? Because I couldn't save Lincoln?'

She had realised that Octavia had resented her for a lot of what had happened but this was nonsensical.

'It does not matter why.' Lexa said quickly. 'Octavia can rescind the challenge and Indra is talking with her now. If she will not, then you must flee.'

'Flee?' Clarke repeated in shock and terror.

'You must. It is the only way to guarantee your survival. Go to the woods close to Skaikru. Once Octavia has been removed as chancellor and Kane is in charge you will be able to return and seek sanctuary there.'

'Wait- stop, Lexa!' Clarke said, shaking her head. 'You're going to kill Octavia?'

'It is the only way.'

'No, this isn't happening. I'm not leaving so she gets killed in place of myself or Bellamy. I'm not leaving you.' Clarke vehemently told her.

If Lexa killed the leader of one of her clans because of this then she was as good as dead. The other leaders would not stand for such a move, and she would have lost her only trusted ally in Skaikru. Trikru wanted justice for their people, they would not support this.

'Clarke-' Lexa began but Clarke cut her off; Lexa's life would not once again be put on the line for her.

'I know you're scared. Believe me, I went through this with you and Roan, but if this is what has to happen-'

'Do you wish to die?' Lexa challenged.

'I'm not suicidal, Lexa.' Clarke snapped. 'But I'm not running this time. It's about more than survival.'

Lexa looked positively horrified. Her usually cool composure had almost entirely evaporated. Her eyes flashed dangerously with fear and anger. Lexa had always accepted Clarke for who she was and the decisions she made but her impulse had always been to save Clarke at every turn. Clarke needed her to let her do this. If Clarke fled and allowed Lexa to kill Octavia to guarantee her survival, Arkadia would completely fall apart and would see it as another betrayal by Lexa. Bellamy would seize the opportunity to rally opposition against her and the clans would revolt at such brutal leadership.

'I can do this.' Clarke promised her.

* * *

What were you thinking?' Indra demanded.

'Octavia, we can't do this. We can't put Bellamy against Clarke in a duel to the death! Think about what you're asking here!' Kane urged.

'Bellamy deserves to die.' Octavia spat with conviction.

'Then you do it!' Indra hissed.

'And what if Clarke is the one to die?' Kane asked, horrified.

'Clarke always survives.' Octavia dismissed, with more nonchalance than she actually felt.

'Bellamy is trained as a guard. In combat, Clarke-'

'Then that's what will happen.' Octavia declared defiantly. 'They've been causing war since they got here and now they can finally sort it out between them. You think either of them will stick to peace whatever the agreement is? We go round in circles with them. They don't know anything other than death.'

'And you will share that fate.' Indra said in a dangerous voice. 'You do not know Lexa's history. Lexa had a love before. I watched as she fell for a girl who was pretty and sweet. Lexa believed her future lay only with that woman, her duty as Heda was merely a burden she must bear until her death. Then the woman she loved had her head cut off and it was sent to Lexa's bed by Nia of Azgeda and Lexa still allowed her into the Coalition. Yet that same queen ended up with a spear through the chest when she threatened Clarke's life.'

Octavia turned away. Lexa could not interfere. Octavia had used Lexa's own laws. Her love for Clarke could not stop this from happening.

'She will do anything to keep Clarke safe. That is her weakness and that is why she is dangerous.'

'You resent Clarke too, I know it.' Octavia insisted vehemently. 'That's why you stopped following Lexa. You always followed her no matter what, but she gave up her own loyalties and advisers in favour of turning always to Clarke. She sacrificed all of the Grounder traditions for Clarke.'

'So what do you think she will do now Clarke is in danger?' Indra wailed, in despair.

'Lexa can't stop this.'

'I know your anger, your thirst for vengeance, Octavia of the Sky People. Lexa left Lincoln to Skaikru and Bellamy was responsible for his death but this is not what Lincoln would want. I knew Lincoln since he was a boy. He was always kind and sweet and good. He would not want to see you turn into this. Bellamy and Clarke were both his friends.'

Octavia's blood boiled at this.

'Bellamy is the reason he's dead and Clarke abandoned all of us! I am sick of paying for their mistakes. I'm sick of other people dying because of them. They can end it once and for all!'

'Octavia,' Kane pleaded, 'if you call this off no one has to die. The deal that Lexa proposed was radical and visionary. It can be how we move forward from such destruction in peace. Do not go back to _blood must have blood_. You're in pain because of the murder Bellamy committed, do not create yet more deaths.'

'It is done.' Octavia spat.

* * *

'Leave.' Lexa whispered dangerously when Indra entered the throne room.

Indra had failed. She could not even convince Octavia that this was folly.

Indra ignored her.

'Where is Clarke?'

Lexa did not answer, she only gripped her arm rests of the throne tighter. Clarke had insisted talking to Bellamy. Lexa saw this as a pointless endeavour. Bellamy could not stop this, only Octavia could. It was a waste of precious time.

'You cannot kill Octavia.'

Lexa pulled the dagger from its sheath and carefully ran it through her fingers. She slowly stood up and made her way down the steps, anger pouding through her heart. She was millimetres from Indra's face, almost mirroring the exact stance she had held against Bellamy.

She took in her features, hatred rampaging through her body. She had respected Indra as a child, been intimidated by her strength and control but Indra had betrayed her, and to do the bidding of someone who believed in jus drein jus daun. Indra's desire for murder, her raw emotion, had forged a connection with Octavia, a bond that would end up with blood on everyone's hands and had put Clarke's life in danger. 'I am Heda.' Lexa replied, murder in her heart.

'Octavia does not know what she is doing, Lexa. You know how angry she is at her brother. It is a childish act but she does not deserve death for it.'

'You would see Clarke die.' Lexa hissed. Indra swallowed noticeably but a fire blazed behind her eyes.

'Wanheda is death, Commander.'

Lexa gripped her dagger and brought it to Indra's face slowly. Indra's eyes never left Lexa's.

'She was screaming like a wild animal when she was brought here. You did not see the mountain, Heda, but I did. I went with Skaikru when they sought supplies and to put the bodies to rest. Hundreds of them with their skin melted as though Clarke had dragged them into hell. The girl is dangerous. She's a poison. When you brought her here you tainted Polis. How quickly you listened to her above everyone else, even Titus. It was Clarke that drove Titus to betray you, it was Clarke who tried to murder the Ice Queen without even thinking about what ramifications that would have. It was Clarke who destroyed our tradition and crushed everything that our people believed in. Those villagers wept because they were not given justice. It was her who made you cast me out because I did not follow what she believed in. Clarke will survive, if only because she is adept at cursing the fates of everyone else.'

Lexa pushed the dagger into Indra's skin and a spot of blood appeared at her throat. How dare she speak of Clarke in such a way. How dare she even say her name.

'I know I was hard on you, Lexa, but that's because you needed it. You were not strong enough then. Anya believed too much in you. You showed great strength in uniting the Coalition but since this girl fell from the sky you have abandoned all that you were taught. Your love for her makes you weak. You've betrayed your people for her. Do not let Octavia suffer because of your mistakes.'

'My mistake was sparing Octavia's life.' Lexa replied coolly.

Indra grabbed Lexa's blade and tried to pull Lexa's legs under her own but Lexa was too swift. She punched Indra with her left hand with such force that Indtra staggered several steps back and her hands went to her face as she stumbled pathetically. Lexa advanced slowly and Indra dove at her but Lexa dodged and kicked Indra's legs from beneath her so she fell onto her back with a dull thud. Lexa straddled her and stabbed Indra's thigh and shoulder so that she screamed in agony.

'You will cause no more trouble here. You will leave Clarke in peace.' Lexa told her in a low voice. 'It is a shame by those terms that you cannot thank her, for she was the one who convinced me to spare Octavia's life.'

* * *

'You want a trip around Polis?' Bellamy asked sceptically.

'You've not had a chance to see it.' Clarke shrugged.

She took him through the crowded streets. Despite anything that ever happened politically (bar the ALIE mess) Polis always countinued on much the same. Barely anyone spared them a second glance. It was freeing to be lost in the crowd, well, except for Lexa's guards trailing them. She wanted to show Bellamy just what she was fighting for.

Clarke wanted nothing more than to tell him everything that they were facing but it would serve no purpose except burden him with yet another horror. They were still going to have to face each other in a bloody conclusion. If she died, Lexa was more than capacble of deciding whether he could be trusted and Lexa was more than enough to get them through this. Raven had managed to make the Flame stop rejecting Lexa's blood. Lexa would go on and save the rest of her people and the world, she had no doubt.

They walked on in silence until Clarke reached the artists' square. She smiled softly at the sight.

'It's beautiful, right?'

Clarke blinked back tears as she thought of when Lexa first brought her here. She'd been so angry with her and so tired of being consumed by hate and grief. This square had been the first bit of hope she had witnessed in a long time. It had made her believe that maybe life and all its agony was worth it all.

She half wanted to run back to Polis and simply be held by Lexa until she had to face Bellamy. She didn't want to waste time but it ripped her heart to see Lexa so fearful. Lexa had seen Costia's head be delivered in a box and now she might have to watch Clarke be slain in front of a crowd, so she had walked to Bellamy for a conversation she knew she must have, even if her heart ached to be with Lexa.

'Yeah,' Bellamy admitted quietly, 'it is.'

Clarke turned to him but Bellamy continued to watch the square for a moment before he could bring himself to look at her.

'Clarke-' His voice crumbled.

'Bellamy,' Clarke said, forcing steadiness to her own voice, 'we have to do this.'

Bellamy would look for any way out he could find but it was hopeless.

'How?' Bellamy asked desperately.

'For our people.' Clarke shrugged. 'I don't want to hurt you, Bellamy but if the choice is your death or my own, a fate for my people that I don't believe in or unity then I'll do what I have to. You don't want them to follow me or Lexa so this is where we are.'

'But death?'

'That's what this life demands.' Clarke replied.

'And you're okay with that?' Bellamy asked, outraged.

'I've not been okay with any of it but I'm not going to stand in that ring and let myself be killed and neither are you. ' Clarke told him. 'I needed you Bellamy but you walked away. All of our choices have led us here. After losing Wells and Finn, I could always count on you but then we broke it, or at least I thought so, but maybe the truth is that we forced our own unity. We were both headstrong but we always fought about how best to lead. We almost never agreed on what was right. We kept trying to force the issue that we'd be perfect leaders together so we can't be surprised now.'

'I hated you for choosing Lexa.'

'I chose a life better than the one you and blood must have blood offered.' Clarke said. 'Even if Lexa wasn't commander, I wouldn't have wanted all that you've brought. We can't keep blaming her and the Grounders for our problems. We have to face this.'

'You're right. I still don't want that life.' Bellamy replied. 'But I don't know if I can do this.'

'We didn't know if we'd be able to burn three hundred Grounders alive or iradiate three hundred people, including children. We did it because we wanted to survive. This is what comes next.'

'And afterwards then what?'

'Then whoever survives has to live with it.'

* * *

Lexa watched from her doorway as Clarke sat on the sofa, staring at herself in the mirror. Having this quiet moment to watch Clarke was both soothing and terrifying. She couldn't imagine ever not having Clarke in her life. Clarke had stormed into her tent, a force to be reckoned with and had broken the mundane life of death that being Heda had meant.

It was not just Clarke's sheer unrelenting will she had fallen for, it had been the softness of her voice when she spoke about her loved ones, the rare twinkle of her blue eyes whenever she made a joke, her fire whenever she was challenged, her total and embracing capacity for love. It had been frightening to be faced with someone with such a large heart. Clarke cared beyond anything and everything. Her love ran through her veins. As Lexa had begun to realise that love was strength she had fallen in love with Clarke. She remembered the anxiety that plagued her each day that someone as loving as Clarke may hate her and feel nothing in return and yet she had found herself engulfed by Clarke's passion. It had not made them reckless or set Polis on fire, it had given her strength through quiet contentment, from moments where Clarke would give her that delicate smile and Lexa would feel her heart soar.

'Will you help me?' Clarke asked softly, looking up from the mirror and Lexa nodded, walking towards her and she wished that she could just watch Clarke forever.

'War paint?' Lexa asked, her voice thick with emotion.

Clarke nodded, her eyes pools of sorrow, regret and love. Clarke lay back on her seat yet did not turn so she could face Lexa next to her. Lexa read her movements and brought her legs over Clarke, straddling her so their faces were inches apart. Lexa reached for the war paint from the table but she stopped her movement when she felt Clarke's head against her shoulder and then to the crook of her neck. Clarke buried herself in Lexa. She pulled Clarke closer, stroking her back, and hoping her grasp on her would keep her safe forever.

'It will be okay.' Lexa promised her.

'Even if I can do this, how will I live with it?'

'Together.' Lexa replied.

She needed Clarke to know she would not abandon her. That whatever happened their fates were one. She would not walk away from her as she had at the mountain, as Bellamy had at the gates of Arkadia.

She pulled Clarke's chin up so that she could look into those blue eyes once more and her fingers traced Clarke's cheek.

'We'll get through it together with the knowledge you did what needed to be done for all of us.'

'So we just keep going from fight to fight?' Clarke asked.

'Yes,' Lexa said, 'and when our bodies meet death, our spirits will walk to death and to peace with the knowledge that our loved ones were given hope.'

'There is hope in any of this?'

'Clarke, if there wasn't, would any of us be here at all?'

Lexa pressed a tender kiss to Clarke but Clarke pulled their mouths together greedily. Clarke sucked Lexa's bottom lip and cupped her face to kiss her nose, her eyes and then lowered to her neck to place adoring kisses to Lexa but Lexa pulled away, cupping Clarke's face once more.

'No,' Lexa said, fighting back tears as her voice wavered, 'this is not goodbye.'

Clarke tried to give a smile but the corners of her lips barely twitched. Lexa stroked her hair back and picked up the war paint.

'Are you going to make me like you?' Clarke asked, her voice small but hopeful at the sentiment.

'No, Clarke.' Lexa smiled. 'You deserve more than that.'

Lexa carefully painted Clarke's face and the situation reminded her of so many mornings where she would find Clarke staring intently at her and sketching. Clarke always took great care to present Lexa as the best possible version in her art. Lexa saw love in those pictures but also reality. Clarke knew Lexa's flaws well, the anger that could rise in her eyes, the clench of her jaw when she was annoyed but Clarke did not edit these features. She drew and painted them all as worthy. Lexa promised to take as much care with Clarke in this moment to give her artist the representation she deserved.

It took time and Lexa could not help but stroke along Clarke's jaw or brush her hair behind her ear with her free hand as she worked. She finally slipped from Clarke's legs and handed her the mirror. Clarke's eyes widened for a second but broke into a genuine smile.

'I do look like Wanheda.'

'That is the point, Clarke.'

Black marked along Clarke's eyes, the only gap at the ridge of the nose. It was a similar style as she wore to the night of the summit when Skaikru had been initiated into the clans. Now, however, there was also a shard of black running down each eye to almost the corner of Clarke's lips. It honoured what they had achieved together by being not too dissimilar from Lexa and yet it was ultimately Clarke's design.

'I did not expect you to want war paint.' Lexa admitted; Clarke identified so strongly with Skaikru she thought she would stick to their traditions.

'I am Skaikru, but also a Grounder, and you are Trikru and Lincoln was Trikru. I'm opposed to Bellamy because I want unity. It felt right.' Clarke explained. 'It is right.'

Clarke put the mirror down and stood up, pulling on her black boots. She was wearing the grey top that Lexa knew she'd had worn when she had landed. Armour in these contests was not allowed except for leather which was considered adequate clothing but Clarke had shunned it. She wore the clothes of her kin but the war paint of her allies and friends. She would fight to the death for the ideal of unity.

They both started when the door opened and Murphy walked in, although he looked as though he would rather be anywhere else right now. 'It's time we went down, Clarke.' Murphy said sadly. Clarke nodded. The fact he did not joke or make some comment made the situation feel even more grave.

'You ready?' Murphy asked in a clipped voice and Lexa eyed his nerves.

'Ready as I'll ever be.' Clarke replied tightly.

'You're a survivor. Remember that.' Murphy urged her and Clarke suddenly ran forward to give him the briefest of hugs.

Clarke stepped back, her hands shaking slightly and Lexa wished her fear away. Clarke needed to focus.

'Look after this one for me.' Clarke told Murphy indicating her head at Lexa.

'I won't need to.' Murphy assured her. 'But I promise I'll do my best.'

* * *

Clarke tried to recall how at peace with her fate Lexa had been before her fight with Roan and suddenly she felt a new wave of respect wash over her because right now she was fighting the urge to run out of Polis. She reminded herself that this would be pointless, she was already surrounded by so many crowds on the way to the arena that she'd be lucky to get any further than she did when her and Roan tried to break out of Polis.

Octavia followed behind her. Kane was by her side. She didn't know if this comforted her or made her feel sick at the association with Skaikru leadership given what they were demanding she do.

'No one will think any less of you for anything that happens here today.' Kane told her.

Clarke felt some reassurance at that but she did not believe it. Her and Bellamy were about to fight like feral animals. No matter what others thought of her she would surely think less of herself.

'Have you spoken to my mother?' Clarke asked.

She had not radioed her mother. That was one conversation that would ruin her. She needed strength and if she talked to her mother she'd be too busy worrying about her pain rather than focusing on what lay ahead.

'No.' Kane admitted.

Clarke looked at him surprised.

'She'll be pissed but you did the right thing.' Clarke offered.

They made their way into the arena. Kane squeezed Clarke's arm but she stepped back when she thought he would hug him. She needed to look in control and she could feel Bellamy at the far end of the arena as so many people were hissing in that direction.

'Clarke-' Octavia started.

Octavia's face seemed contorted with regret and Clarke felt a mingle of pity at the sight. She wasn't sure Octavia even knew what she wanted from this. Even if she won, how would Octavia then feel watching Clarke murder her brother?

'Good luck.' She wished her quietly before climbing up to where the clan leaders, Lexa and Murphy sat.

Clarke turned away quickly. She didn't think she could look at Lexa. She'd fall apart. She was sure she was already mourning the things she worried she'd never have with her. The image of the Flame flashed in her mind and Clarke felt some reassurance tug at her heart. At least one Lexa would never be alone. At least a part of her would always remain with Lexa.

The air was heavy already with the cheers and shouts of the crowd. Clarke wondered how many had lost relatives because of the actions of herself and Bellamy. This was truly a personal fight for all involved.

There were half a dozen guards scattered against the arena. All had spears, swords, daggers and one held a set of chains. Perhaps he was so armed for if anyone in the crowd became too rowdy and interfered in the fight that saw two of the most hated members of Skaikru pitted against one another.

She finally looked at Bellamy. Her fear increased tenfold. This was her friend that she was set to die by or have to murder. Selfishly, there was a trace of dread as she noticed just how ready for a fight he was compared to her. He was far taller and stronger and Clarke knew she would need her wits to win this one. The contest was almost certainly going to be clumsy. Clarke had trained with a blade but it was hardly anything to rival the skill of a Grounder. She did not know Bellamy's experience. It was probably an insult for him to fight the Grounder way but she did not care much. If Bellamy had his way then they'd just keeping shooting at each other.

Bellamy grabbed a sword from the guard who offered him one and Clarke did the same. She pulled it out and looked at its length for a moment. This was the weapon that would fail her or save her.

She finally looked at Lexa and her heart was in her mouth. She'd never seen such a devastated look in Lexa's eyes. She vowed that if she survived this she would make sure that Lexa's eyes would never burn like that again. Her face was pale but as impressively impassive as ever but Clarke had long ago learnt to read those giant green wells of emotions that were her eyes. She just wanted another moment to look into them, and that was when Clarke knew what was coming.

She ducked as Bellamy sliced through the air. The same trick that Roan had used. Bellamy could not and would not ever be able to turn their love into a weapon against them. The ground was hard beneath the soles of her boots as she circled the arena. Bellamy and Clarke matched each other's steps staring into the face of the other.

Bellamy's face was racked with regret and rage and Clarke knew that Bellamy would not back down, despite his earlier hesitancy, this was to the death. Neither of them could live now and it was everything and nothing to do with Octavia. They'd driven themselves to this point a long time ago. Clarke wondered if it had been when she had sent him into the mountain and grew so much closer with Lexa, but in her heart she realised that they had argued long before that. They had always been set apart from the moment they landed.

Clarke waited, still circling, knowing that Bellamy's hot head would make him give way at a moment and she was soon proved right as he lunged forward. She parried his attack at her and launched a series of strokes at him of her own. He managed to counter all but the last where he quickly rolled out of the way and jumped to his feet again. As Bellamy continued to back away from her, Clarke's eyes were set with determination.

She remembered the position of each guard and as Bellamy passed once she advanced on him again but the expected attack did not come for she grabbed a dagger from the guard and held it in her left arm ready. Bellamy eyed the knife and the sword and cursed the armed guards.

He ran at Clarke again but she jumped out of the way. She could see that he was reading her natural defensiveness as hesitancy and it would surely be one of their downfalls. Clarke struck out this time but Bellamy was ready. He grabbed both of her wrists, dropping his blade that he had no skill with and he forced Clarke onto her knees. Bellamy kneed Clarke in the face and she dropped her dagger but she swung her legs from underneath her and knocked Bellamy's legs from under him, his back slamming into the dusty ground.

He scrambled to get clear as Clarke rose to her knees and grabbed her sword and swung it at him, slicing through his clothes and his lower leg started dripping blood. Clarke jumped up and felt a surge of triumph at this small gain and then her heart turned to ice at the thought that she could take such joy at hurting her friend; but this was survival, she told herself.

Bellamy hurled himself at her and Clarke crashed to the ground but she brought her leg up sharply, kneeing him in the gut. She rolled over and struck Bellamy with her fists again and again. His face was bloody and she felt his nose break but he grabbed her wrists again and with all his strength he kicked out and threw her over his own head so she landed on her back. Clarke jumped up and ran to the guard with the chains, grabbing them from him.

The crowd gasped as Clarke swung them around menacingly in her hand and Bellamy paled. He grabbed his sword from the ground and stood facing Clarke with a look of terror but in that moment, Clarke thought she saw hate too. Hate for all that she had done perhaps, for risking his sister with the missile, for leaving them but Clarke felt her own hatred for him too.

Clarke swung the chains at him but he jumped twice out the way and cut inside, where Clarke just missed the sword. She swung around and Bellamy had his back to her after his failed lunge and she grabbed the ends of the chains and hurled them over his neck, jumping on his back. Bellamy grunted as he fell on his face, the chains choking him as Clarke's weight held him down, her knee in his back. The crowd screamed at such a way that this would end. Bellamy fought desperately but Clarke would not be tricked like she had with Roan as she started to count how long it was taking so that she would know when Bellamy would have slipped to death.

Clarke's focus on the back of Bellamy's neck missed his outstretched hand as he grabbed his sword and plunged it in Clarke's forearm. Clarke shrieked in pain, pulling it out. Bellamy took advantage and forced Clarke away from him. As she stumbled back, Bellamy freed himself from the chains.

Dark red blood dropped from Clarke's arm to the ground and she held it with her right hand.

Clarke circled Bellamy again and stopped quickly to pick up the dagger as he had picked up the sword. Clarke's left arm felt as though it was burning from the pain. She winced as she tried to move her left hand but she found it sluggish. She knew the pain was impacting her movements of it and she was on the back foot now. Bellamy held control.

Bellamy eyed the wound and she saw a look of victory and sorrow cloud his eyes.

Clarke unfathomably chanced a look at Lexa and her heart swelled with love while Lexa's eyes widened at Clarke's distraction. Clarke dodged Bellamy's predictable strike again and with her arms weak she head butted him in the face so that he howled and collapsed. She stamped down hard on his right hand and injured leg before driving her blade through his left hand as he used it to try to fight her off. She held him down again with her weight, his legs locked beneath hers as she pressed the dagger to the middle of his throat. Bellamy froze for a second, knowing what was coming, his body still except for the blood that was pouring from his wounds. His eyes were orbs of pain.

'It's okay.' He whispered.

Clarke choked back a sob and forced the blade through his throat, pulling it out in an instant and wrenching herself away from Bellamy's broken body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a big chapter. I'm not sure how many fics have had Clarke kill Bellamy especially in this way but it just felt right. Even back in s1 they came to trust each other but they still argued a lot of what was the best choice for their people. Bellamy in s2 was likable purely because he didn't question Clarke, he just followed her but whenever he has challenged her it's often ended up in a mess. How do you guys reckon Arkadia are going to react to this news? 
> 
> It was pretty difficult writing Lexa in this chapter. She's always respected Clarke's decisions but obviously, she'd rather die herself than have Clarke in danger but they're just so screwed and Clarke knows it. It was a strange mirror to have Clarke ready to meet her fate, and a lot of it was down to the fact she knew it was best for Lexa. However, after this Lexa is going to take control a lot more. It's going to be much more of a Clexa fic as we lead onto and go into the City of Light stuff (which I'm looking forward to the most).
> 
> And thank you all for sticking with this fic. I know the s3 stuff was a bit repetitive so it took time to get going but, as I said at the start, that was to prove the original story could have worked with Lexa alive. It's been a bit of a different Clexa fic as it has followed a lot of the characters in the show (although not to as much depth) but there is a lot more Clexa coming up. Hope you all liked this chapter as obviously it was a pretty big character death.


	29. The Breaking Point

Lexa stood up quickly as soon as Clarke wrenched the dagger away, not even waiting for Murphy to declare Clarke the winner. The crowd around roared at the sight that Bellamy finally was dead. Clarke staggered back from the body, dropping the blade. Lexa shot Murphy a look and inclined her head towards Octavia who was choking back her own sob and shaking uncontrollably and he nodded his head to show he understood.

Lexa made her way down to Clarke quickly as the crowd cheered and grabbed her hand. She felt Clarke squeeze it automatically but Clarke was looking about the arena disorientated. Lexa pulled Clarke along, hoping her shock would not wear off until they reached the tower. Clarke staggered slightly as she walked and Lexa felt her guards close around them as they walked to keep the ecstatic crowd at bay. Lexa led Clarke up the tower swiftly, but Clarke's legs began to shake and Lexa half carried her to her quarters. Clarke collapsed immediately on the floor and Lexa kneeled beside her and held her as Clarke breathed raggedly into her chest.

The local healer came in and quickly saw to Clarke's arm wound. Lexa's heart clenched at the sight of the wound, knowing how painful it must be and just how lucky Clarke was to win the fight while carrying an energy such as that. The healer smeared the coagulant over it and Clarke did not flinch, not even when he quickly sewed it and wrapped the wound. Lexa took the wet cloth from the healer so that she could clean Clarke's facial cuts herself and she wiped off the war paint gently. She was glad to see Clarke's soft features again but Clarke's eyes were searing in her distress.

The healer left shortly after and only then did Clarke let out a howl and Lexa was sure she heard the woman's soul break at all she had been forced to do. Lexa worried Clarke would choke on her grief as her body shook with sobs and all Lexa could do was pull Clarke into a tighter embrace, her own tears falling onto Clarke's blonde hair. She wanted to tell Clarke she was sorry for all of it, sorry for this world and sorry for what she kept being put through.

Loathing ran through her at the thought of Octavia. Clarke had been chosen to suffer for Octavia's weakness. She had proven her lack of worth. She was no leader. After all that she had said against Clarke, she had not chosen any better.

Clarke struggled for air due to her breathing and Lexa stroked her back trying to calm her. She felt Clarke cling to her even tighter as though Lexa was her only anchor to this life. She held Clarke as protectively as she could to show her that she could depend on her, that she would get her through anything that they faced and that there was something more than just pain in this life.

'How- could I? How-how could I do it?' Clarke said, gasping for air.

'You did what was right. You made the choice to shun death and its quiet release, and choose a life of pain to love and to protect the people you care for.' Lexa murmured.

'I'm broken, Lexa. I just killed him because I didn't want to die.' Clarke cried. 'What the hell am I?'

Clarke covered her face with her hands as though protecting Lexa from even having to look at her.

Lexa swung around and kneeled between Clarke's legs, cupping Clarke's face and forcing their eyes to meet.

'You showed true courage, Clarke. You demonstrated the bravery we have all come to expect from you. I think, cruelly, that is why Octavia chose you. Bellamy fought for life too, Clarke. He made that same choice in that moment. The fight was not about honour or morality, it was survival. You simply bested death.'

Clarke's breathing began to steady slightly and Clarke reached out and gripped both of Lexa's hands in hers. Lexa instinctively removed her gloves and Clarke almost smiled when she felt Lexa's hands in hers.

'So I did what I had to do?' Clarke said bitterly and Lexa knew that Clarke was sick to death of that phrase which she now held in contempt.

'No,' Lexa said, 'you could have died and selfishly so. I know your pain. I know you've longed for death, for escape in the Flame, for something other than this life which can seem so torturous. You could have left us all. You've given everything to your people but you didn't. You stayed and fought because it was right and because you'll rise to conquer any threat.'

Tears started falling freely down Clarke's face again and Lexa brushed them away. She kissed the tear that clung to her index finger as though accepting anything Clarke could give because what Clarke offered was hope, even in moments such as these. Clarke was hope.

'I can't keep doing this.' Clarke whispered, her voice trembling.

'Yes, you can.' Lexa said; there was not a doubt in her mind that Clarke would continue to rise through the flames.

* * *

Octavia sat in the corner of her quarters, holding her head in her hands. She hadn't moved since she arrived, the perfect juxtaposition to Kane who had not stopped pacing the room. He had gone to use the radio several times but instantly put it back in his pocket again. Octavia knew why: he did not know how to tell Abby and the rest of Arkadia that Clarke had been made to murder Bellamy because of Octavia's anger. O

ctavia tried to banish thoughts of Arkadia from her mind. She could imagine the horror on her friends' faces when they were to hear the news of what had happened. Indra had been right; her anger had driven her to this and nothing more. She could have settled for Lexa's solution but she had decided that she wanted Bellamy dead. She had put Clarke in danger purely to ensure her demise. Perhaps she was her brother's sister, she thought bitterly.

Kane would throw glances her way but he made no effort to talk. She knew he didn't have any idea of what to say and she continued to act as though no one else was present. Broken images flashed through Octavia's mind of her mother, of Lincoln's limp body falling to the ground, of the pool of blood in Arkadia and of the blood soaking the floor at Polis where Bellamy's body lay. She swallowed her own revulsion at herself. She had been so desperate for Bellamy to meet the fate of Lincoln, when Lincoln had been good and Bellamy had sought only destruction, but now she had that image burned into her mind she didn't know what to do. She felt nothing. She had nothing left.

Octavia heard the door open but did not look up. Within seconds, a hand had ripped the pin from her jacket and she was dragged by the throat to the open window and was hung dangerously over it, while a knife was held at her throat. She did not fight it.

'You are no longer leader of Skaikru.' Lexa hissed.

Octavia felt the conviction of Lexa's hatred burn through her body but Lexa dropped her to the floor, eyeing her menacingly. Lexa handed the pin to Kane.

'Make sure she doesn't leave Arkadia.' Lexa told him, on her way out.

'Wait.' Octavia called. 'I want to see Clarke.'

Lexa turned to look at her incredulously.

'Clarke's been through enough.' Kane said but Octavia ignored her.

Lexa would not be able to refuse it. She had too much respect for Clarke.

'If she consents to it.' Lexa snarled, storming back out.

* * *

Clarke hadn't moved, even when Kane came to spoke with her. He asked if she wanted to talk to her mother but Clarke didn't even know how she would ever be able to look at her again.

_Their blood is on your hands, and even if we win, I'm afraid you won't be able to wash it off this time_.

The words echoed dully in her head. Clarke had only eaten or drank anything when Lexa had assisted her. Lexa had hardly left her side except for when she agreed that Octavia should be allowed to see her.

She had agreed only out of obligation, because Octavia was once a friend. She didn't know who her friends were now. She didn't know what was right and whether they should be speaking but shoulds were obsolete now. Clarke no longer believed in what was supposed to be. She didn't feel there were any rules to this life.

She heard Octavia enter but did not look up to greet her. She felt Octavia sit down cross legged beside her but still she did not turn.

'Thank you.' Octavia said and Clarke had least expected that.

'I don't understand...'Clarke said, fighting tears once more.

Octavia's hand hovered over Clarke's before she thought better of it and retracted it.

_We've all got a monster inside of us, Clarke, and we're all responsible for what happens when we let it out._

They were killing each other now. It was not an act of lawlessness like Murphy's hanging or a matter through necessity such as Finn's death, but it was an open choice. They were no longer the hundred. The bond had been shattered. They were finished.

'I needed it to be over. I needed it all to be done with. Thank you for doing what I was too weak to do.' Octavia said.

_You can't just kill someone to make yourself feel bette_ r.

They'd all fallen short of their own standards they had set. Clarke felt that now there was no end to the depths that they would sink.

She glanced at Octavia. Her eyes were dead. Clarke went cold at the sight and shivered. She didn't want Octavia here. This was a mistake. She wanted Lexa.

'I know you hated me when I landed. I was the Princess with the nice family growing up and even though I was one of the hundred I was pretty much the Council to you. We managed a friendship of sorts and I ruined it. I left you to die. You were pissed. I get that, but this? Why not Indra?' Clarke asked desperately.

'It felt right.' Octavia replied, tears falling.

'It felt right?' Clarke repeated angrily. 'Nothing about this was right.'

'I was mad at you too for making me chancellor and for bailing again. I never asked for this and Bellamy... I couldn't control him. I wanted him dead. Indra could have killed him straight away but I was scared. It had to be one of us to do it, Clarke and I couldn't.' Octavia cried.

In all of Octavia's twisted logic, Clarke thought she understood. Using Indra would have been a betrayal to Bellamy and to the hundred in general. They worked together, they fought together, they died together and their fates were bound. Even if she had died then either way the fate of the hundred would still be in their hands. It was right that it should come down to the pair of them, their warring ideologies and Octavia couldn't bear to see anyone else hurt them.

'I'm sorry for everything.' Clarke did not respond.

The words meant nothing to her. We are what we are. She let go of the Mountain, of the three hundred soldiers burned alive, of Bellamy. She was Wanheda. Guilt served no purpose. This was who she was and it was time she accepted it. Murder was the tool she relied upon. Her need to survive had kept her going this far. Murphy was right, she was better at surviving than Bellamy. She was who she was, and she had given her soul to Lexa who held it in the palm of her hand, everything else was given up.


	30. In Shock

Kane and Octavia walked, exhausted, through the doors of Arkadia. Indra was carried behind them in a stretcher which she had profusely objected to. Her leg was much better but if she reopened the wound on the road it would be a disaster.

Abby ran to greet Kane and gently embraced him. She ignored Octavia completely.

'She stayed with Lexa?' Abby asked and Kane nodded.

'Lexa's taking care of her.' Kane soothed her.

'Did she say anything?'

'No.'

Every time that Kane had seen Clarke, which had only been three times, she had remained entirely silent and had only looked at him once (when he had mentioned he had told Abby everything). The intensity that had rested so strongly in Clarke's eyes was now gone. They were a dull and a lifeless blue. She didn't even carry herself with the same determination or strength that she used to. Octavia opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again. Kane sensed her restlessness and turned to her.

'Just don't leave camp.' Kane told her and Octavia nodded.

'You're not putting her in a cell?' Abby questioned harshly.

'She hasn't committed a crime.'

There was kindness behind his words. Kane had learnt long ago that life was not black and white. He might never understand what had happened but he didn't feel he needed to. They had to work together and Octavia would be needed before the end.

Abby glared at Octavia but Octavia ignored her and went into Arkadia. Abby ordered Indra to be taken to medical and Kane wondered how on Earth they were going to fix this.

'Why are you being nice to her after what she did to Clarke?' Abby demanded.

'Look at what we've all done to Clarke. Look at what we did to the hundred.' Kane said. 'Octavia has nothing left now. There's no point berating her.'

'My daughter-'

'-will get through this.'

'I don't think she will.' Abby said, her voice cracking and she turned and marched back to medical.

* * *

Raven rushed to shut the monitor screens down and hid the Flame and the bridge device under the bench before Octavia walked in.

'Hey.' Octavia said quietly.

Raven crossed her arms.

'Hey.' Raven responded, wondering what Octavia could possibly want.

'I'm not the Chancellor anymore so are you going to tell me what you're doing now?' Octavia asked sadly.

'I don't know.' Raven shrugged. 'Are you going to make me fight to the death if I don't?'

Octavia sighed.

'Why are you so loyal to Clarke?' Octavia asked. 'I'm not attacking, really. Not after what I did. It's just I thought you'd hate her as much as Jasper.'

Raven grimaced at the idea.

'Clarke saved us.' Raven fired indignantly. 'Multiple times.'

'Maybe it wasn't worth it.' Octavia said.

'Probably not.' Raven agreed angrily. 'But she did it for us anyway because that's what we asked her to do.'

Raven glowered at Octavia. She was sick of the same old arguments when they needed each other, when there was a much bigger fight rushing towards them. She was doing everything she could to save them while the rest of them were tearing each other apart.

She couldn't believe Bellamy was dead. Bellamy had always been annoying but he had always, always been there for them. She was stunned when he had just left Arkadia like that. She half expected him to just walk through the door. It just didn't feel possible that he could be gone. Bellamy had so much life, such a roaring rage within him, that it was hard to imagine that was now extinguished. She felt sick when she thought of what Clarke had to do. She'd come to accept that Clarke had done what Finn would have wanted, that she spared him pain, but this was so much worse. Raven knew Clarke would never forgive herself. 

Raven slowly bent down and picked up the Flame and the bridge device. She put the device on the table but she kept the Flame in her hand. She didn't know if she trusted Octavia and she had promised Clarke she would keep it safe.

'When you murdered Pike and stalked off, Clarke had known there was a bigger fight. There are nuclear plants across the world that are about to fail. ALIE said we had months, but who knows with that thing. Clarke wants us to go into the City of Light to shut them down and save the world.' Raven said simply.

Octavia nodded and the questions Raven had assumed would follow never met her ears. Octavia didn't even look surprised at the fact that the entire global population could be wiped out.

'Do you need me to do anything?'

'No.' Raven said. 'Not until we're ready to go to the City.'

Octavia nodded again and rose, leaving engineering and Raven to her work.

* * *

Monty picked at his plate of food as Harper watched him tenderly.

'I think if anything proves we made the right choice it was this.' Harper said calmly. 'This isn't a place to raise a child.'

Monty looked up briefly and nodded. He dropped his fork and knife loudly on the plate and rubbed the back of his neck, tiredly. He felt numb. He'd looked after Harper for three days after she had taken the remedy that Abby had procured from Nyko to end to pregnancy. Harper had bled and cramped for days and Monty had been petrified. It had felt like the right choice but his arms ached. He didn't understand why his arms were aching.

He didn't want to think about what Clarke had done to Bellamy. He couldn't speak to Octavia. He knew he should, that Bellamy would want him to, but it was too much. He didn't think there was anything to say. His own guilt kept him away. If he had stayed with Bellamy this might not have happened. If he had taken the time to see that Bellamy was falling apart then maybe he could have done something.

* * *

'Was I wrong?' Miller asked Brian, once they were alone in their quarters and finished with guard duty for the day. 'Should I have stayed with Bellamy? He trusted me.'

'You did what you thought was right. You can't do anything more than that and you're not responsible for anything that he did.' Brian said kindly.

'He trusted me and I stayed with Clarke.' Miller said.

'That's probably why he left you with Clarke.' Brian told him, embracing him.

* * *

'Do you have to go?' Clarke croaked.

Her voice was hoarse from having barely spoken for over a week. Clarke had remained almost silent since the death of Bellamy. It was such a marked difference from the furious version of Clarke that Lexa had been confronted with after the deal on the mountain. Clarke had raged. She had screamed and cursed and vowed for vengeance but now she was silent. Lexa could have taken anything better; even if Clarke had been angry that Lexa could not protect her or had not managed to create an alliance with Bellamy. Anything would be better than this listlessness.

'No, I'm not going anywhere.' Lexa told her, stroking Clarke's hair as they lay on the bed.

'You're the Commander.'

'So they can wait.' Lexa told her firmly.

Lexa's hand trailed form Clarke's hair to her arm when she traced patterns with her fingers. Clarke's eyes remained on her face but Lexa felt her sigh slightly at the contact.

Getting her to eat or drink had taken great patience. She only responded to Lexa. She ignored almost everyone else. Sometimes Lexa wondered whether Clarke could even hear them or whether she was so buried in her own grief she was lost to the rest of the world. Only Lexa could pull her out of it.

'Raven...' Clarke spoke, her voice shaky and Lexa almost smiled.

It was the first time that Clarke had referenced anything outside of Polis and of what had happened that day. Clarke was not yet lost.

'I spoke with her this morning. Monty thinks that he's close to getting a chip working alongside the Flame.'

Clarke's eyes narrowed at any mention of the Flame and Lexa knew she still saw it as their path to peace. It worried her; she did not want Clarke to give up on this life.

'She asked about you.' Lexa said quietly but Clarke remained silent. 'Your mother keeps trying to get in contact too.'

'I don't want to speak to my mother.' Clarke grumbled and Lexa was glad to hear disdain behind her voice rather than flat defeat.

'You don't have to.' Lexa assured her. 'We can just stay here.' 


	31. I Am Become Wanheda

'Hey,' Murphy said, entering Lexa's quarters to find Clarke.

'She still in her meeting with the Azgeda and Trikru ambassadors?' Clarke asked, putting her sketch book down.

She hadn't particularly felt the urge to sketch but she had been driven to it to try to conquer her boredom. Before she had known it, she looked down to see that she had idly drawn a sketch of all of her loved ones: Lexa, her mother,her father, Wells, Kane, Murphy, Raven, Octavia, Lincoln, Jasper, Finn, Monty, Miller and Bellamy. She had only been able to look at their smiling faces for a moment before turning the page and drawing Polis.

'They're lucky she hasn't kicked them out of a window yet.' Murphy commented.

'Trikru and Azgeda will never be true allies.'

'Unless it's against Skaikru with the rate we're going.' Murphy observed.

Clarke looked surprised for a moment. She couldn't remember Murphy ever identifying that strongly with Skaikru.

'Lexa wants to spend the afternoon in Polis with you. She wanted to let me know in case you didn't want to or so you had time to grab your hood.'

'I don't need my hood. I'll be with Lexa. Everyone will know who I am.' Clarke replied.

It was true. Everyone knew that she was the only one Lexa kept by her side and that she was the only one Lexa ever smiled for.

Murphy watched her for a moment and Clarke began to wonder at what point they had become friends. She was glad of his presence though.

'Clarke,' Murphy began, 'you did-'

'-the right thing?' Clarke finished for him.

'There is no right thing in this life.' Murphy remarked. 'You did what you needed to.'

'Aren't you mad that I killed one of us?' Clarke watched him closely but Murphy gave little hint of anger or grief.

She'd been scared by the prospect of returning to Arkadia. What would they think of her now after what she had done?

'Bellamy kicked the crate from under me while I had a rope tied around my neck. Us trying to kill each other really isn't anything new to me.' Murphy replied.

'He was your friend in the end though, right?'

'I don't know. Maybe but so are you but people die, life goes on, at least for the rest of us.'

* * *

'She won't talk to me.' Abby said into Kane's shoulder as he held her tightly, waiting for her tears to subside. 'I keep trying but she won't talk to me. I'm so worried about her. One of us should be there with her.'

'She has Lexa and Murphy.'

'Oh great, a murderer and someone who left her to die.' Abby said. 'She needs me.'

Kane stepped back and cupped Abby's face.

'She doesn't, Abby. Clarke is strong and brilliant and she will get through this. What she needs is time. She needs to learn how to live with this, just like she did with what happened in the Mountain and then, when she's ready, she'll come back to us all.'

'She might never be ready.'

* * *

'So are we ready?' Monty said turning to Raven and Wick and they both nodded.

The Flame sat in the middle of the bench, while one chip was held in the bridge device and another was on the table next to it. Monty was at the monitors while Raven and Wick waited.

'So the Flame is already altered to accept Lexa's blood. We've tapped into it with our systems and Raven has got everything so we can see it in code. Lexa and Clarke are both still in there but their bodies will be able to sync up when they take the devices. Wick, you've got the bridge device and powered up the other chip so that it's now a mini Flame. It can accept Clarke's blood and we've got that on our systems too and the Flame is giving it all of its data. You've also got the chips so that they are in workable condition again. We just need to make them ready for our needs. Now, it's my turn.'

Monty sat at the monitoring system working through the code. He typed in the pass phase and on the table the Flame sprang to life, as if waiting for Lexa to return. The secondary Flame next to glowed white and reams of code came up on the monitor. It too was alive.

'Come on.'

Monty waited as the secondary Flame tried to catch the signal of ALIE chip.

'Holy crap.' Wick whispered, Monty spun around and the ALIE chip was glowing right too.

Raven launched herself to the monitors beside Monty. Monty kept the data streams alive the ALIE chip was already fighting death, its power waning but Raven broke through the code furiously. 'Come on, come on,' Monty muttered. Monty went back into the Flame's systems and used that to sync up with the secondary Flame, so that the primary was not just powering its lesser version but also the chip. The struggle with the chip ended quickly as the power flow between them kept it alive and Monty worked at opening up the chip's signal and systems so that it did not need as much of a connection to keep it alive.

Raven worked silently while Monty played with the systems and Wick paced nervously back and forth, before Raven finally released a scream of delight.

'We've got it! We've got the City of Light!'

* * *

Clarke sighed and lay down on the blanket, staring up at the clouds and she stretched out to take Lexa's hand in hers

. Lexa had taken them to a secluded spot in the gardens on the outskirts of Polis. It was a picnic of sorts, although Clarke suspected that most did not hold the most extravagent food but the cooks in Polis were the best and Lexa was the Commander after all. Elka had also made Clarke's favourite honey cake. It was a simple gesture and Clarke found it perplexing why people should still care for her.

Some people came through the gardens but not many as it was the markets that were the centre of activity. For some reason, Clarke couldn't help thinking back to pauna. Perhaps because that had been the last time they'd been alone, surrounded by green and both static. Only then they could not move because of Lexa's shoulder yet now it was because neither desired to do so.

'Thank you for this.' Clarke said.

Clarke didn't know why Lexa kept making such an effort with her. Clarke barely had the energy to get out of bed. She felt utterly defeated and unworthy yet Lexa never asked her for anything or demanded anything more from her. Lexa was about the only thing that gave her comfort and yet she also felt ashamed in Lexa's presence. Lexa who was so strong;. Lexa had brought the thirteen clans together, had beaten death and lived unwavering by her convictions while she was Wanheda- there was nothing good about her.

'Thank you for everything.' She emphasised.

'There's nothing to thank me for.' Lexa dismissed gently.

Clarke couldn't summon the energy to argue the point.

'How's Kane doing as chancellor?' Clarke saw the surprise in Lexa's eyes.

Clarke hadn't asked a thing about Skaikru and she wasn't particularly interested now other than that it involved Lexa. She wanted to know Lexa was okay. She needed to know that Skaikru wasn't putting her in any more danger. Her loyalties to Skaikru felt as though they had been laid to waste.

'Good. There's stability. I've pushed the disarmament forward. There's only one gun for each guard and limited ammunition. They have one final month to train and then the rest will be destroyed.'

Clarke nodded. She didn't think she ever wanted to see another gun again.

'How are you?' Clarke asked softly and Lexa looked confused. 'Really, how are you?'

'Concerned about you.' Lexa admitted. 'But so happy that you're here.'

A familiar sense of guilt crept into her stomach at the fact that Lexa was worried about her. She wanted to give Lexa everything but she felt tainted.

'You shouldn't have to put up with this. Me. Skaikru. You shouldn't have to be dealing with any of it.' Clarke mumbled.

'I love you.' Lexa told her and Clarke heard it as a promise; Lexa always read her doubts so well so Clarke forced herself not to ask just why Lexa did love her.

'We're not even married yet and everything's a mess.'

'Clarke, this will pass. The sun will rise on this as it has with every other battle we have faced and I think we are married now.' Lexa commented and Clarke did not miss her shyness.

'I don't remember saying any vows.' Clarke smirked.

Lexa shrugged and Clarke was sure it was the first time she'd ever seen Lexa do so.

'Yes, we both did in our own way a long time ago. A ceremony doesn't matter. Here we are together, through everything. You're my wife in every way.'

Clarke did manage a smile but it quickly fell when she realised she didn't know if that meant they could save each other or whether Lexa would be bound to the Commander of Death. 

* * *

 

'What do you want?' Abby said, standing up from her desk.

'How is Indra?' Octavia asked in a quiet voice.

She'd been putting off speaking to Abby long enough yet she almost longed to see the hatred in Abby's eyes. She deserved it.

'Now you're asking? It's been days.'

'Yes, now I am asking.' Octavia replied but there was no trace of defiance in her voice.

'Your mentor will be back on her feet soon.' Abby replied harshly.

Octavia hesitated for a moment but knew she might as well get it over with.

'How is Clarke?'

Abby's eyes widened in disbelief.

'Traumatised probably.' Abby sneered.

 _Probably_ , so Abby did not know.

'You haven't spoken with her?' Octavia said, realisation dawning upon her.

'I have work to do.' Abby snapped and indicated her hands toward the door.

'Have you spoken with Lexa at least?' Octavia asked and Abby shot her a withering stare.

Octavia knew Abby would be insulted at the fact she was having to rely on Lexa for updates on her daughter.

'Abby-' Octavia prompted impatiently but she was cut off instantly.

'You can't just come in here and check up on the damage that you have caused and think that makes you a good person. You're just like your brother. You cause destruction everywhere then play the martyr. That's all you Blakes are.' Abby seethed.

'I am not not just a Blake!' Octavia shouted back hotly.

Octavia looked away as Abby's eyes narrowed.

'I should go.' Octavia said, feeling hopelessness and reaching for the door.

'You're right; you're also a coward.'


	32. Fallen Time

Indra was limping across the grounds of Arkadia; no doubt due to Abby telling her she needed to rehabilitate her leg, although Octavia knew that Indra would not remain lying in any bed in medical if she could help it anyway.

She approached slowly but Indra stumbled. She rushed to aid her but Indra recoiled at her help.

'You have finally found the time to grace me with your presence?' Indra asked.

'I'm not the Chancellor anymore. You don't follow me.' Octavia replied stiffly.

'I did not follow you because of the pin.' Indra spat.

'I know.' Octavia said dully. 'I'm sorry you got hurt for me.'

Indra carried on and Octavia took the silence to mean that she could follow without fear of attack.

'What did you say to Lexa?'

'What I thought might make her see things differently.' Indra retorted.

'And did it?'

Octavia already knew the answer.

'Of course not.'

Octavia allowed the silence to consume them once more but to her surprise, Indra soon broke it.

'It was Clarke that spared your life.'

'I know.' Octavia said flatly; it didn't matter what her people did to her, Clarke would always defend them.

Clarke would always be so firmly apart of Skaikru. Maybe it was because her mother had been on the Council while her father was so loved by the entire Ark. She was the best friend of the Chancellor's son. Clarke was the poster child for Skaikru while Octavia had been locked under the floor.

'You supported _blood must have blood_.' Octavia said eventually.

'Lexa's plan for Bellamy was fair and I wanted you to be spared the pain of watching your brother die so I supported it. If you had chosen me, I would have dutifully killed him too. That was your choice. You know you could have called upon me.'

Octavia drew in a sharp breath.

'I can't talk about Bellamy anymore.'

'You don't need to. When Clarke returns you will be faced with it.'

Octavia swallowed thickly. She'd happily postpone that day for ever.

'Clarke is dangerous. She will do whatever it takes to get what she wants. It makes her the best kind of ally and the worst kind of enemy. I never wanted her in Polis because of the day when she would turn against us. Let us hope she can reconcile herself with what you have done.'

Octavia did not fear Clarke. Whatever Clarke would unleash she would accept but she suspected that even now Clarke was not so broken as to kill one of her own people for revenge, but then she had not been with Clarke. She'd barely spent any time with Clarke at all since the battle on the mountain. Maybe she didn't know Clarke at all any more.

A dull thud of thunder rumbled in the distance and the wind picked up so the leaves around the forest rustled loudly. There was a shriek of chirps from birds and hundreds of them launched into the air, flying across Arkadia and into the distance.

'What the...?'

Darkness swept over Arkadia as grey clouds covered the settlement. They were low and oppressive as though they longed to scrape their scalps. Octavia took a step back towards Arkadia as a much louder crack of thunder ripped through the grounds. An acrid smell burnt at Octavia's nostrils and her hand flew to her nose, and others repeated the action across the grounds.

'We should get inside.' Indra said in a low voice.

Before Octavia could nod her agreement another blow of thunder struck their ears and rain started to fall. Octavia hissed in pain as her skin burnt from where it landed on her. Black rain bled from the clouds and Octavia instinctively dragged Indra back as people began to scream.

Indra howled in pain as black stained her shoulder that Lexa had stabbed and Octavia didn't hesitate as the rain poured down and burnt through her skin, to hoist Indra over her shoulders and she fled into Arkadia. She threw Indra off her as soon as she was through the doors and checked her wounds. Indra's skin was red and blistered where the rain had fallen and Octavia's hands matched her. All around, people were shrieking and fighting to get into Arkadia. Octavia watched outside as they almost all made it but one man fell and a member of the guard ran back to help.

Thunder echoed again and the rain fell harder and Octavia turned away from their melting bodies.

Raven burst through the corridor, looking desperately around at them all as Wick followed behind.

Raven looked outside and took in the black rain.

'We're too late.'

* * *

'That's the last of the meetings today.' Murphy told Lexa.

She sighed in relief, just wanting to get back to Clarke.

'You may take your leave.'

Lexa noticed as Murphy glanced behind her out at Polis.

'Emori will be happy to see you.' Lexa said knowingly.

'We can walk down with you.' Clarke said as she came into the throne room and Lexa smiled softly, surprised that Clarke had left their quarters and was offering to go out into Polis.

Clarke had seemed at least slightly optimistic byt the fact that Raven, Monty and Wick had managed to get several of the chips now working. The end was closer at hand to the radiation threat. Lexa would take any good news right now.

They made their way out of the tower together and headed towards the market.

'We can spend the rest of the day in Polis if you like.' Clarke offered as Murphy walked slightly ahead, eager to see Emori.

Lexa watched as Clarke smirked as she watched how sweet Murphy was being by his haste but neither said anything on the subject.

Lexa had been with people all day and had barely seen Clarke but she recognised the worth behind Clarke's suggestion. It had been the first time in a long time that Clarke had actively sought to leave their quarters.

'Musicians will be playing in the square soon. I could watch you dance.' Lexa suggested slyly and felt her heart soar when Clarke genuinely laughed.

'No way. That is not happening.'

A clash overheard made Lexa pause.

'What was that? Thunder?' Murphy said, slowing, as the skies darkened.

'I guess so.' Clarke replied, looking up. 'Must just be a storm.'

Lexa turned her head away from the sky. It was typical that a storm would present itself just when Clarke wanted to actually try to enjoy herself but Lexa soon faltered again when she heard another growl of thunder and a horrid smell filled the streets of Polis.

A scream ripped through the streets and the sound of thudding rain met their eyes as it crashed against the rooftops. There was a singeing sound as it burnt holes through the fabric of the market stalls. Lexa grabbed Clarke and Murphy and threw them against the wall, protected by the overhanging roofs and drainage systems. People around them gasped and screamed as their bodies erupted into blisters.

The town was in chaos with people running, trying to take cover. Lexa watched in horror as her own guards fell down, writhing in agony and to death.

'No. No. No. No.' Murphy shouted, charging through the streets but staying in cover.

'Murphy!' Clarke screamed.

They charged after him, winding through the streets and Lexa knew where he was going. They turned the corner and nearly ran into Murphy as he faltered, standing still in shock.

Emori was lying dead in the street but as black dripped onto her face, the skin dissolved away.

Lexa grabbed him and Clarke and hurled them back towards the tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All. Apologies for no chapter yesterday but weekends are when I'm busiest with work. 
> 
> Just want to say love, solidarity and best wishes to anyone impacted by what has happened in Orlando. After the news came out, a few friends were having this discussions and one said we needed to focus on bigger issues like hate crime rather than representation in the media and it just got me thinking about writing and the 100. Hate attacks on this scale are rare but they don't happen in a vacuum. They're possible because we have a global culture that is still LGBTQ+ phobic. It's significant too that Pulse was hosting a Latin night. The US is one of the best places in the world for LGBTQ+ rights but still people live daily under the fear of hatred. Gay people are afraid to explore relationships, bi people are regularly erased, many trans people they can't even leave their home out of fear of hatred. I'm a freelance writer and published poet and I know the impact that stories can have. When there's such a culture of violence and oppression, to portray lesbian (and LGBTQ+ lives in general) as throwaway by indulging in some pathetic trope causes direct harm. It says that LGBTQ+ lives aren't worth the same. All writers, whether it be for fanfic, radio, TV, books, whatever, have a direct responsibility to their audiences. Engaging in tropes and stereotypes isn't just lazy but it sends the message to every reader that people are worth less because of their gender, sexuality, race, disability, class, religion and/or age. Writers should be telling a different story, otherwise what's the point?
> 
> In so many countries where people consume fanfic or watch the 100, there will be anti LGBTQ+ laws. People will be reading stories right now because they can't come out to their families and its their only form of escapism. Stories can help change the world and defy such ingrained hatred. So thank you to all of you who write, share and create positive LGBTQ+ stories. I know that with what happened with Lexa it can feel like they don't matter but they really do, to so many people. Hopefully TV producers have started to realise that this year.


	33. Reckless Hearts and Desperate Minds

'You guys stay and set up those chips.' Wick told Raven and Monty as he climbed into the rover.

'Wick, wait-'

'It's fine, Raven. The rain can't damage the car. We have to get Clarke and Lexa.'

'Let me come.' Octavia said.

'No way.' Raven shot across. 'You already tried to kill Clarke.'

'I didn't try to kill her.' Octavia sighed.

'No, you just made her fight in a duel to the death. Much better.' Raven snorted.

'Octavia, you should stay. You're not supposed to leave Arkadia and everyone is losing it right now.' Monty reasoned. 'We need to control the situation here so we can work on getting the chips ready or we're all dead. You were just the chancellor. You still have influence here.'

'Fine.' Octavia relented. 'Follow the coordinates. They'll lead you to the tunnel entrance. Lexa said that's where they will be waiting as it'll provide shelter from the rain.'

'Got it.' Wick said.

'Wick,' Raven said, stepping forward and speaking low, 'keep an eye on Clarke.'

'You think she's dangerous?'

'To herself, yeah.' Raven emphasised. 'After the mountain she took off with no supplies, no ammo, nothing. She gets guilty and then she gets reckless.'

'I'll keep an eye on her.' Wick promised but before he could shut the door, Raven grabbed his arm gently.

'Thank you.'

* * *

 

The three of them ran down to the bowels of the tower and into the passageway that led to the tunnels. Lexa hated leaving Polis like this, her people needed guidance and reassurance but more than that they needed a solution and that lay in Arkadia.

As they made their way into the tunnels, Murphy paused and bent double panting. His arms were shaking and Lexa was surprised that he could still carry his own weight.

'What was that?' He said between breaths and not looking up.

'Radiation.' Clarke said flatly. 'There are nuclear plants across the globe. They're failing. This is the start.'

'Let me guess this has got something to do with ALIE?' Murphy drawled.

'It did.' Clarke said.

'Then why the hell haven't you done anything? Why is Emori lying dead on that street?' Murphy demanded.

Surprise overtook Lexa when Clarke did not explain, she simply looked defeated as though she truly felt this was all her fault.

'We have being doing something.' Lexa interjected. 'Clarke came up with a plan to try to stop this. Raven has been working on it in Arkadia. There was nothing we could do but wait.

'That's where we're going now?' Murphy asked.

'Yes, the tunnels will be able to take us to the edge of Polis where the rover will be waiting to transport us to Arkadia. We don't know if the soltution will work but it is our only chance.'

Lexa turned, not wanting to waste any more time but Murphy's voice forced a halt to her progress.

'What am I supposed to do now without her?'

'Live.' Lexa said shotly. 'And defeat this threat to us all.'

* * *

 

'I don't think we can do this.' Monty said, panic stricken as he worked at the monitor next to Raven.

'We have to. We don't have a choice.' She replied.

'There isn't enough time.'

'There has to be.'

* * *

People were screaming in the mess hall and demanding answers. Indra stood stoically next to Kane although Octavia could see the sweat across her forehead and how her leg underneath her shook ever so slightly. Abby was missing because she was frantically trying to help everyone who had gotten got in the storm and Jasper had trailed after her.

Kane held up his hand for silence but it had far less impact than whenever Lexa issued the command and he still had to shout over the noise.

'What we are experiencing is the impact of radiation. There are nuclear plants across the globe and it appears they are beginning to fail.'

'So you knew?' Someone shouted from the crowd and a roar went up and Kane's voice was stretched to breaking point to be heard over the noise.

'Yes, ALIE told Clarke but we're working on fixing this.'

'How?' Someone else shouted.

'By preparing. We need to maintain peace-'

'Screw that! How many times are you going to lie to us?' A voice screamed.

'You lied about sending the hundred down!'

'You said there were enough drop ships!'

'We've not forgotten section 17!'

There was a smash as someone threw a glass at Kane's head and screams erupted as Skaikru members began to fight. Octavia jumped on the nearest table and kicked it with the sole of her shoe until the bangs drew attention.

'Hey!' She screamed. 'If you want to be idiots and kill yourselves be my guest, believe me, I really don't care. If you do want to live then stay here and help us. Take care of each other, donate blood to medical, start working on rations. Stay and help us and maybe we can all get through it, or die in a fight like the petty cowards you are.'

Octavia jumped off the table and stormed to engineering to check on Raven and Monty, leaving Skaikru for once to determine their own fates.

* * *

 

Abby frantically rained down compressions on the girl beneath her.

Medical was in chaos. They had already lost seven patients, and that was not counting the ones who had never made it inside. Jackon was juggling two critical patients as Abby worked to save Bethan. She'd been the youngest to survive the Ark's descent to Earth at only seven years of age. Abby wouldn't allow it to be true that she had come this far simply to die.

'Jasper.' Abby panted and Jasper stumbled forward with a look of horror and confusion on his face.

Jasper's face was covered in angry burns as he had helped bring as many people inside as he could before the black rain turned into a near monsoon.

'In the drawer at the back bench there's medicine the Grounders use. It helps with blood pressure. Grab a syringe and put it through that portal in her IV.' Abby said between compressions.

Jasper hastened to find the medicine, throwing the contents of the drawers all over medical. Within minutes he found it and did as she requested while Abby whispered a silent prayer.

'Keep your hand on her wrist and check for a pulse.'

Jasper instantly did as he was told and Abby's eyes never left his. He shook his head but Abby carried on, giving the medicine time to circulate.

They carried on like this for another fifteen minutes. She saw as Jackson gave up trying to save a young woman who had been caught in the storm and she glanced at Jasper again who could barely shake his head.

She haltered her compressions and stepped back shakily from Bethan, trying desperately not to think of whether her own daughter would make it to Arkadia.


	34. Acceptance

'You should have let me stay in Polis.' Murphy panted as they ran through the tunnels.

'You would only be able to stop the guards from becoming suspicious for several hours at most. If nobody saw me they would assume I'd either fled or had been killed by the storm.' Lexa commented. 'They then would have murdered you for trying to assume control. We need to get to Arkadia. That is the only way to bring an end to this and save all of our people.'

'They won't be happy you left.'

'They'll be alive.' Lexa replied.

They carried on for another half an hour until they finally saw light ahead. The acrid smell was not clinging to the tunnels and Lexa could not hear any rain fall. They slowed their pace as they approached and waited for Wick.

Clarke sat against the edge of the tunnel and stared down at her feet. She had said little, not even to Murphy after what he had just witnessed, although Lexa suspected that was because Clarke knew there was nothing that could be said to soothe his grief.

Lexa sat next to Clarke and took her hand.

'We will bring about peace once more.' She assured her.

Clarke watched their fingers entwined but still did not say anything.

'Clarke, I need you.' Lexa told her softly. 'I can't do this without you. We're at our best when we work together. That is the only way to end this.'

'I'll do what needs to be done,' Clarke replied in a sigh, sounding more flatly resigned to her fate than anything else and Lexa missed the roaring determination that used to cloud Clarke's voice.

An engine rumbled in the distance and Wick finally approached. He jumped out the car to greet them.

'We need to get the hell out of here before that rain starts again.'

Lexa nodded and they all stood up to enter the vehicle.

Clarke automatically went for the back seat so that Lexa could ride in the front with Wick which Lexa frowned at. Wick quickly started the engine and was soon tearing back the way he came.

'You okay?' He asked Clarke, watching her through the mirror.

'Yeah, why?' Clarke asked.

'Just making sure so Raven won't kick my ass.'

* * *

 

'Everyone is contained in here except for those working in engineering and those receiving medical attention.' Harper told Kane.

Kane nodded.

He hoped with all his heart that Raven could pull this off and that Lexa and Clarke would be returned to them safely. The situation at Arkadia was tense at best. The immediate anger at being kept in the dark had shattered at the news that Bethan had died. If anything, Kane was even more alarmed at the subsequent depression that had contaminated the grounds. Everyone was losing hope.

* * *

 

'Get out, I'm working.' Abby snapped as soon as she lay eyes on Octavia, who raised her arms to signal she would be passive.

'Wick radioed Raven. I just came to let you know that Clarke's fine and she and Lexa are on her way back.' Octavia said and she promptly turned and left Abby to her patients.

* * *

 

'How many more do you think you can do?' Miller asked.

'None if you don't shut up.' Raven snapped.

'We'll be lucky if we get one by the time they get here.' Monty said.

'Then they can wait. Lexa can take the Flame again when we have enough chips working.' Miller said but Monty quickly poured scorn on this.

'Waiting means there could be another storm or worse. As soon as Lexa and Clarke are here we need to get this started.'

'But what if that isn't enough?' Brian asked.

'Clarke will figure it out. She always does.' Raven dismissed.

'What if she can't this time?' Brian demanded.

Monty hit the bench in exasperation.

'I don't know if it's enough but whatever happens, happens. At least we've tried. There's nothing else left.'

* * *

 

Octavia sat in her quarters flicking through Lincoln's book. She remembered when she first saw the drawing of herself. She wished she had more than his book. On the Ark they had been able to store photograph albums on the Ark system but down here they had nothing.

'Lincoln's book?' Jasper asked, already knowing the answer and sitting down next to Octavia.

'Yeah...'

'Feels like forever ago.' Jasper commented when Octavia flicked to the page where Lincoln had crossed off the marks of the hundred.

'I was just thinking the same.' Octavia sighed. 'Is medical winding down?'

'The people who got hurt are either dead or just need monitoring through it by Jackson. Not really a lot I can do.' Jasper muttered sadly.

'It's good that you helped them.'

'We couldn't save them.' Jasper replied. 'So did you know?'

'Not until I got back from Polis.' Octavia shrugged. 'Bellamy had said something else was going on after everything with ALIE but I didn't think it was this and Raven didn't want me to know. I bugged her like a thousand times.'

'Why didn't she tell you?'

'They didn't trust me.'

'You mean Clarke?' Jasper said slowly.

Octavia nodded although she was well aware that Lexa had never trusted her either. It did not particularly matter though as more often than not, Lexa let Clarke determine the fate of her people.

'Yeah, guess she had a point.'

Jasper shook his head.

'If she had told us then we all would have worked on it together just like always.' Jasper said bitterly.

'But we don't though.' Octavia told him. 'At Polis, I let people into the tower because I was more concerned with killing Pike. Clarke asked you to trust her in the mountain and you stayed. We don't always work together. Maybe, yeah, we might have done this time but I don't blame her for not trusting us. Bellamy and I did exactly what she feared.'

Jasper shook his head once more.

'Clarke's not psychic. We had a right to know.'

'Did we?' Octavia questioned seriously. 'After everything we've done why should she trust us? It doesn't really matter now anyway. We've got what we've got and we'll just have to make the best of it.'

'Like it's that easy.' Jasper muttered.

'It's never easy but here we go again.' Octavia sighed, closing Lincoln's book.

* * *

 

Clarke glanced across at Murphy. He hadn't cried once. Clarke thought she understood; sometimes tears weren't enough.

'So... you ready to kick some ass and save the world?' Wick asked Lexa in a desperate attempt to make conversation.

Clarke rolled her eyes. She was beginning to regret urging Raven to work things out with him.

Clarke turned her attention to the window. There had been no low rumbles of thunder and the ground seemed almost completely dry now. Clarke knew that meant little. This was just the beginning. She thought she should probably feel afraid or nervous but this felt so repetitive she couldn't quite summon the energy for anything other than resignation.

The threat of global extinction was about the only thing that would make her return to Arkadia. She didn't know who she wanted to see less: her mother or Octavia. Clarke hadn't spoke to any of them on the radio. Lexa had taken over with that and had spoken directly with either Raven or Kane now since she had murdered Bellamy. Clarke thought there was a good chance they could drive into Arkadia, get out of the car and find herself in the middle of a mob demanding _blood must have blood_.

On top of all of that, it would soon be clear (if everyone hadn't discovered it already) that she had known about this threat all along. Perhaps it had been foolish to think there would be no retribution for this but she did what she thought was right and even Clarkle had to admit, she had failed spectacularly. The desire for peace and stability had been the reasoning behind the decision and what had resulted was a near civil war between Skaikru, a chancellor removed from power and the murder of Bellamy Blake.

They were now faced with an enormous task. They hadn't had enough time to prepare, Clarke felt as though she'd already left everything in ruins and even if they got into the City of Light they were going to be faced with they knew not what. They had no idea how to find the plants nor how to shut them down safely. Hopelessness crept into Clarke's stomach. Maybe they were better off not trying and just enjoying what time they had left.


	35. Together Into The Abyss

_'She's too weak to lead our soldiers to war.' Nia spat._

_Lexa closed her eyes momentarily, trying to discard her frustration. The twelve clan leaders were sat around her in the Commander's tent. Lexa couldn't remember Indra or Nia ever agreeing on anything but this was not an occasion she would celebrate their unity._

_'They massacred one of our villages, Commander. They have been a plague on Trikru.' Indra seethed._

_'And justice will be delivered.' Lexa said, opening her eyes. 'I have told Clarke to bring the boy to us and he will suffer for the deaths he caused.'_

_'The blonde girl?' Nia questioned in a mocking tone and Lexa sensed why._

_'It is not enough.' Indra raged, breaking Lexa's gaze upon Nia. 'Blood must have blood.'_

_Once more Indra was allowing her anger to drive her to short-sightedness that would ultimately hurt their people. Lexa could anticipate Nia's hostility; she was too used to her abrasive attitude and general contempt towards her position as commander but Indra's open and vehement disagreement was beginning to irritate her. They were of Trikru and Indra needed to follow her. Indra had also seen Lincoln's miraculous recovery. Their people had never been able to save a reaper before and yet Clarke had._

_Clarke had impressed Lexa with her courage. She had walked so determinedly into this tent and did not shy away from Indra's hatred or the threat of death. It was a bold plan, and a dangerous bluff but Clarke's faith and determination had pulled it off. She had already won Lexa's respect more than any of these clan leaders before her._

_'And it will. Finn's blood will be the cost.'_

_'We need to wipe the vermin out.' Nia hissed._

_'Which would be foolish and only harm our people. Together, our people joined with Sky People will be able to bring the fall of the Mountain. For decades the Mountain has been a shadow over our lives, snatching our people. Now we have a chance to be free.'_

_'Heda-' Indra started but Lexa raised her hand and she fell silent._

_'This is my final word, Indra.' Lexa said firmly and she felt Gustus shift uncomfortably beside her. 'Once the boy is dead we will declare a truce with the Sky People and war with the Mountain Men.'_

* * *

The sun had already set by the time they made it into Arkadia. Wick took them into the garage in engineering and they clambered out of the car. Kane immediately greeted them and walked with them to meet Raven and Monty. Clarke fell into step with Murphy and Wick as Lexa walked with Kane. Lexa glanced back at her but Clarke was happy to let her receive the report from Kane.

'The situation is under control but there has been discontent. They've figured out that we knew what was going to happen.'

'Skaikru is your responsibility as chancellor. Your task is to ensure that control remains while we go into the City of Light.' Lexa told him. 'Use whatever force necessary to maintain order. Nothing is more important than allowing this plan to be carried out.'

'Understood.'

'Have there been any casualties?' Lexa asked and Clarke could hear the concern in her voice.

'Thirteen so far but it could have been a lot worse.'

Lexa nodded.

The corridors were empty. Clarke assumed that the rest of their people were being contained in one unit, probably the mess hall, so the guard weren't stretched too thin. However, that could allow an increase in rage at being confined. Clarke saw that they had little choice.

'Thank God you're back.' Raven beamed as soon as the entered the room.

Clarke glanced around. Miller nodded in greeting, Monty smiled and Jasper and Octavia just looked uncertain. Abby stepped inside within minutes but Clarke stepped out of reach when her mother moved to embrace her.

'A heads up about the rain that melts faces off would have been nice.' Jasper muttered.

'It was a decision we made as you did not seem in the capacity to be able to cope with it.' Lexa said sternly, soon quelling him. 'What is the situation?'

'This chip,' Wick said, pulling it out of his device, 'is now ready to go. You can take the Flame, Lexa and then this acts as a mini Flame. Clarke will take that as she has a combo of both bloods. That way her chip is going to be used to basically allow the other chips to sync up to hers and work with the Flame. It'll mean Clarke may experience some of the upgrades the Flame has but everyone who takes the standard chip will be able to enter the City of Light too.'

'Good work.' Lexa commented and Clarke smiled her thanks at Raven. 'How many of the standard chips are working?'

'Besides the mini Flame that Clarke will take, three.' Raven admitted.

Clarke saw Lexa visibly falter at the news. After all this time they still only had three. Clarke didn't see how they would ever be able to do this. The task was insurmountable.

'Three is better than nothing.' Murphy said, his voice uneven.

'So who else gets to go?' Clarke asked finally.

Everyone in the room seemed to pale at the question and Clarke couldn't blame them. The person she least wanted to speak to however was who challenged her first.

'You're going to do this?' Abby said sharply. 'You don't even know if it's safe.'

Clarke snorted.

'Raven made it, of course it is.'

'Actually, I kind of did a bit.' Wick said timidly but he was soon silenced when Abby threw him a dark look.

'Don't take it personally. They have issues.' Raven muttered in a low voice.

'So who else?' Clarke repeated but Abby once again challenged her angrily.

'You can't be serious!'

'What other choice is there?' Clarke demanded.

'Clarke, you've done enough! It isn't always your burden to bear!'

Clarke shook her head and took another step away from her mother.

'Clarke is perfectly capable of making up her own mind.' Lexa said calmly.

It was Lexa's tone that brought peace to Clarke. Lexa would never make her doing anything she didn't want to. Lexa had been so worried over Clarke and her obsession with the Flame and then her depression after Bellamy but whatever Clarke chose Lexa would support. If Clarke decided she didn't want this then Lexa would take the Flame and go entirely without support and without complaint.

Clarke didn't want to do this. She was exhausted with fighting. The Flame didn't quite hold the same allure as she would still be carrying her grief of what she had to Bellamy. It was a veil that stopped her from seeing, feeling and touching the world as she once did. It pulled at her every step she took but Lexa needed her. Lexa was the one thing she could still just about hold onto.

Her friends were here and they were not yet lost. Maybe they should just spend the time they have together but there was still a chance. Lexa still believed in it. At least in the City of Light she'd be working with Lexa and away from most of Arkadia.

They didn't know what awaited them: it could be death and more pain. Their bodies could be lost if they didn't succeed in time but perhaps they'd be trapped in the City of Light forever but Clarke would still have Lexa.

They could also be facing worse horrors than Clarke could even imagine. This was a world that was not bound by the rules of physics and the ground. Everything could be manipulated. Yet ALIE had failed. Every manipulation she had tried, she had not been able to break either Clarke or Lexa. That knowledge was enough. She knew who she was now and she knew she would not break.

'I'm doing this.' Clarke said firmly, looking at Lexa and she saw the same mixture of awe, respect and love that she always saw within those green eyes.

'Clarke-'

'It's the right thing to do. I won't just let them die.' Clarke told her mother, finally turning to her. 'You were right, Mom. I am like Dad. My first instinct is to look after everyone else. I'm not you. I won't just wash my hands of this. I'm going with Lexa and that's the end of it.'

'Then the question remains of who else will be joining us.' Lexa said, silencing any complaints Abby was about to utter.

'I can.' Kane said but Lexa cut him off.

'Kane, you're required here. Skaikru can't afford another lost chancellor.'

'I'm going.' Raven said. 'You need me. You guys aren't going to have a clue what you're looking for. I've talked about it with Monty already and he's staying so he can go through code and help send us any signs so he can to point us in the right direction.'

'Then I'm coming.' Wick said quickly.

Raven narrowed her eyes skeptically.

'Hey, you need me! We're going to be shutting down nuclear power plants, Reyes. You can't be the only hero so get over it.'

Raven actually struggled to contain her laugh.

'So one spot is open. ' Clarke said.

'I'll do it.' Abby offered but Raven shook her head.

'I need you to monitor us, Abby. Clarke had a seizure last time and we don't know what we are facing. The stuff in there could be designed to hurt our bodies so we're going to need you to keep an eye on us.' Raven told her and Abby saw the frustration on her mother's face.

'I'll do it.' Octavia volunteered and Clarke finally looked at her.

Octavia's face was set in the same determined look that she had worn on the bridge when Clarke had arrived for the peace talks. This was it. There would be no talking her down.

'You should stay.' Raven argued but it was weak.

'I'm not going to hurt, Clarke. I screw this up then we all die. We need to work together and you said yourself, you don't know what you'll be facing. You and Wick are going to need to concentrate to sort out the nuclear threat so you're going to need people who can have your back.' Octavia argued. 'Come on, Raven. You know I'm right.'

Clarke felt everyone's eyes on her. Lexa was the commander but this was not just about titles. This was history, their history. Clarke had always been the one they went to for permission and they were seeking it now, but as a result of the damage Octavia had caused by insisting upon the duel, yet Octavia was right. They needed someone who could go in willing to fight. The only other person was Miller and he had not said one word. Clarke was sure it was because of Brian. They just wanted peace after everything with ALIE and Pike. She couldn't drag him into this. Hell, Miller was making the choice she longed for. All she wanted was to spend her time with Lexa and to turn her back on everything else.

'Fine.' Clarke agreed. 'Then we better get started.'


	36. Back Into The Fight

Jasper, Miller and Monty had dragged make shift camp beds in the room while Abby had IVs prepared and ready to go. Raven was rechecking everything while this was going on and Clarke wondered when she had last slept.

Her mother nervously fidgeted but Clarke found herself grateful when Abby made no attempt to cut through the silence; there was nothing left to be said.

Lexa's easy confidence gave Clarke something that felt a bit like hope. It was a feeling she'd long since forgotten. Its unusuality was heightened by just how calm Lexa appeared in comparison to everyone else. If anything, Octavia looked like the outsider. Raven had barely looked at her and Monty had only been forcibly polite when he needed to be. Abby hadn't even attempted to hide her disdain but Clarke knew she wouldn't let her personal grudge interfere with patient care, particularly when they clearly still needed Octavia.

Clarke too was experiencing some hostility as a result of keeping the threat a secret. She was not surprised. Yet of everyone, Murphy had the most right to hate her but he showed no personal animosity towards her. Clarke knew he was still in shock and that may well change but Murphy had seen the horrors of the mob of society more than any of them and he likely understood what it meant to try to keep peace. Murphy did not seem particularly invested in the concept of loyalty to kin and people. Murphy supported those who looked out for him and he remained loyal to both Clarke and Lexa. He'd vowed to stay with them and help watch over them as they entered the City of Light. For a split second, Clarke thought back to when he had been so caring towards the hundred when they had the virus and how he had exploited it but Clarke sense no need for vengeance within him. Murphy knew Emori was lost and that all he had left now was to survive.

This had shocked Clarke. Raven still did not know exactly what they were facing. There was a possibility that some memory of all of ALIE's followers had not been lost within the City and that they had just been disconnected but this did not entice Murphy. He wanted her here and living or not at all. He didn't care at all about a stored memory.

'We're ready.' Monty said, turning from the monitor.

Lexa squeezed Clarke's hand in reassuance and went to sit on the middle bed. Clarke sat on the bed next to her while Abby walked to Lexa, holding a scalpel.

'I'll do it.' Murphy said quickly and Clarke swore she heard a trace of indignation behind his words.

Clarke took Lexa's hand again and began to stroke it with her thumb.

Lexa did not wince as Murphy cut open the skin at the back of the neck. He whispered the pass phrase and inserted the Flame. Lexa let out a gasp of pain and Clarke rapidly moved forward to steady her, holding her shoulders. In an instant, Lexa recovered and offered Clarke a nod.

Clarke breathed an audible sigh of relief that Lexa had finally been able to take the Flame again. She cupped Lexa's face, her hand shaking slightly. She'd been so terrified of this moment for months now but they had finally met it and beaten her fears. Lexa lived.

'That's stage one.' Raven commented. 'Now it's your turn.'

Clarke took the chip that Wick handed her and raised it to her mouth but Raven shook her head.

'Sorry, Clarke. This one directly needs to keep your blood going through it. It needs to go in the back of your neck like Lexa.'

'Makes sense, it is a mini Flame as we keep calling it.' Clarke said, shrugging.

Abby stepped forward but Clarke turned to Murphy.

'Could you do it?'

Murphy nodded, grabbing a new scalpel from Abby.

Lexa's hand was still woven in her hers and Clarke placed her other hand on top. She hissed in pain as Murphy cut her skin.

'There's no pass phrase.' Raven told him as he hesitated.

Clarke gritted her teeth as the chip was inserted but she was not faced with the same quick yet intense pain the Flame had given her in Polis. Clarity did still meet her though and Clarke knew that it was working.

'Good.' Raven said and Clarke could tell she had been immensely worried. 'Now it's up to the rest of us.'

Raven took to the camp bed on Clarke's right, with Wick sitting on the other side of her. Octavia moved to the empty one next to Lexa and Wick stretched to her to give her the chip. The three of them stared at their keys to the City of Light.

'So no idea at all what we're facing?' Octavia mumbled.

'Just like old times really.' Raven commented and Octavia smirked.

'What if this doesn't work?' Jasper asked quietly.

'We die.' Lexa answered simply.

They had no other plan. Clarke had spent the entire journey back form Polis thinking about what they could possibly do and this had been their only solution. As soon as they had started down this path, it had felt right and she hadn't questioned it yet now she wondered whether such reckless confidence had been foolish. They'd been caught unaware too many times before by not having a contingency plan.

Clarke looked up quickly for reassurance but then her eyes burned when she remembered she would not receieve it; Bellamy was not here. He had gone into the mountain on her orders, he'd willingly tried to leave the drop ship the first time on her orders and had stayed to protect her in Polis when he clearly didn't believe in the plan to use Ontari's blood. Clarke had resented Bellamy, loathed his need to control, feared his hatred of the Grounders and had wanted to be free of him but she couldn't help but miss his constant presence in moments where they were all united against a singular threat because that was when Bellamy had always followed her and his belief in her had always eased her mind.

'This will work, Clarke. We will see it through together.'

A grin spread across her face at Lexa's words and Clarke felt her eyes water. Lexa could always read her. Lexa was her constant in this life, they had come together as equals and would lead together with not much more than hope and an unshakable will but it was enough.

'If you die in the City-' Miller broke off.

'Yes.' Raven answered. 'We will die here too.'

'So we'll have each other's backs.'

'Just like the old days.' Raven muttered somewhat sarcastically but there was little anger there.

'Well, here goes nothing.' Wick muttered, swallowing his chip.

Raven copied and Octavia threw hers down her throat with such force Clarke was surprised she didn't choke.

Lexa lay down first and shut her eyes, but she held Clarke's hand the entire time. Clarke lay back too and felt the other move around her as she entered the City of Light once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, back into the City of Light! There's a lot they're going to be facing and a few twists which I hope you all like. Just want to say a big thanks to all the comments, views and kudos along the way. :)


	37. Run From Ghosts

'This never stops being weird.' Murphy muttered, looking down at their unconscious forms.

'At least you're not squeezing Ontari's heart this time.' Miller offered.

'Small mercies.' Murphy replied quietly.

Monty's eyes never left the monitor as he tried to sort through the code. He knew Raven had been able to give some clue to Clarke when she was first in the City of Light and he just hoped he would be able to do the same or they'd all be alone in this fight.

* * *

'This is bizarre.' Octavia commented in disapproval as she looked around at the city.

The City of Light looked exactly the same. Raven had resurrected everything. Clarke knew the gleaming sky rises and the individual trees and spots of grass were supposed to create a harmonious balanced feeling to the city but Clarke never thought it had much appeal. She didn't care less about the architecture or design. It was the concept of being unburdened by time, death and decay that had held her obsession with the Flame.

Clarke looked at them all and was pleased to see they had made a smooth transition however, her eyes hovered over Raven's leg brace which did not go unnoticed.

'There is pain now in the City of Light, Clarke.' Raven said. 'ALIE has gone. Besides, I don't need fixing. I could have wasted time manipulating my code but I am who I am.'

'Your brain has gotten us this far, Raven. Not your legs.' Wick remarked.

Lexa was in her commander's outfit but had her two blades, Octavia also carried a blade and was wearing her own war paint. Clarke's outfit was not the same as it had been. Her blue jacket had gone and she wore a black top that she had received when she was at Polis. She wondered if once again her clothes had merged to show that she was both Skaikru and Grounder. Before, Clarke had deliberately chosen that path when she had chosen to fight Bellamy yet now it had happened spontaneously. The mini Flame was reflecting her allegiances.

'We need to keep moving.' Lexa said.

'We don't even know where we're going.' Octavia protested.

'Becca left us signs before. We will find our way.' Lexa replied with certainty.

'Blind hope isn't going to be enough.' Wick argued.

'Lexa's right. There will be signs.' Raven cut in. 'The plants are failing. They will have left some signature with that amount of energy output. We just have to find it.'

'It could be anything.' Octavia pointed out.

'Which is why we need to start looking.' Lexa said, walking through the city and Clarke caught up to her as the others trailed somewhat gloomily behind.

'Does my father's watch work?' Clarke muttered in a low voice; she did not want to alarm the others if it told her they had only seconds left.

Lexa glanced at her wrist but the watch was not working.

'Strange.' Clarke commented.

'Perhaps not.' Lexa mused. 'Raven has altered the City. Perhaps the concept of time is simply not what we are used to. Some things will have changed without ALIE.'

'So we could take ten years to walk up one street here? That's comforting.' Clarke smiled sadly.

'I think the point of the Flame was to free us from time. The commanders were stored forever. Nothing could touch them. Of course, ALIE tried but the intent remained.'

'And now a new threat is corrupting the concept of the Flame?'

'Yes.'

They carried on through the streets which were unnervingly quiet. Clarke was not the only one glancing around. It was more nerve inducing than when she had been surrounded by strangers when she had first entered the city. Life was never this at peace.

'There!' Raven pointed.

There was a white glow in the distance, about two miles away. Clarke knew it could be anything but she also knew that Raven would not just stop for nothing.

Raven thought it was a signature and explained how such energy and activity would give off signs. This was not telling them specifically where to go but it was a hint towards the general area.

Lexa turned back slowly and Clarke shot her a puzzled look. There was a rush of air and Clarke felt herself being slammed to the ground and glass rained upon them as something crashed into the window of the building behind them. Lexa surged forward after she had pushed Clarke to safety from the thrown spear and charged up the opposite steps as people poured over it. Lexa quickly took them down and Jaha's limp body rolled down the steps she had just come up. Lexa put her blades back and Clarke and the others staggered to their feet.

'So I guess they are still in here.' Raven panted. 'ALIE's programming must have been enough that even after she was shut down she'd wiped out their original personalities so they're nothing more than soldiers now.'

Clarke made her way over to Lexa and Lexa smiled to confirm she was okay but Lexa's hands went straight to Clarke's forehead and Clarke saw the blood on her fingers when she pulled back. It was yet another reminder that this place that Clarke had held onto as the one thing that could keep Lexa safe was as dangerous as anywhere else. Any one of them could die.

'We're fine by the way.' Wick called over stiffly.

Clarke rolled her eyes and turned to Jaha. She glanced at Octavia and Clarke swore she saw guilt there. She did not want to know what had happened to Jaha at Arkadia. She knew enough about Skaikru's dealings. She was sick of it.

Jaha's hand was cluthing something. Clarke bent down slowly and eased his grip on it.

'What is it?' Lexa asked.

'Wells.' Clarke answered simply, holding the dark knight chess piece up to examine it.

Clarke did not understand. When Jaha had taken the chip he had abandoned Wells and his pain. How could he carry this now when they had just attacked them?

'Maybe they aren't quite mindless now.'

Clarke recalled Murphy telling her of when he had spoken to Jaha. Of how he had not quite regretted his son's existence and did not long to be totally free of the pain. Maybe there had remained a bit of hope in him still and this was his attempt at redemption.

'He had some regret.' Clarke answered. 'Maybe without ALIE being such a dominant force, it was enough to be able to fight the residual programming. Maybe he was trying to take back control.'

'He just tried to kill us.' Octavia spat.

'And he's also helped us.' Clarke replied, standing up.

'How?' Wick asked baffled but Clarke turned to Lexa.

'The first plant. It's going to be the Ark, like how the kill switch took on that form.'

'That is where your story started.' Lexa commented, appreciating the symbolism.

'We follow the light then and look for some sign of the Ark.' Raven said.

They turned to leave but Clarke looked over the steps at the other bodies. Long brown hair covered the face of one of the slain who was wearing a white lab coat. Curiosity got the better of Clarke and she approached her. Slowly, she bent down once more and rolled her over and she was almost sick at the sight of her as Clarke stared horried into the dead eyes of Tsing.

 


	38. Our Greatest Weaknesses

Clarke stepped back so shakily that she felt Lexa's arms soon enclose around her. Clarke turned to meet her eyes that were full of concern.

'Who is she?' Lexa asked.

Clarke glanced at the body again, convinced that she was seeing things. She had visions of Finn after his death but why would she have them of Tsing? This thought was quickly banished when she realised that Lexa and the others could clearly see Tsing too. There was no way Clarke was imagining her and that thought did nothing to ease her nausea.

'It can't be.' Clarke stuttered. 'There's no way.'

'Is it a Mountain Man?' Raven asked, eyes narrowed and taking in Clarke's shock.

What had united Skaikru with Grounders was the hatred and fear of the Mountain Men. Only they ever caused such a reaction.

'That's Tsing. The doctor. The one who came up with the plan to use our bone marrow.' Clarke explained as she fought to regain control over her breathing.

Hatred pounded through her heart as memories flooded back of how ego-maniacal Tsing had been and her careful manipulations as the caring doctor. She could still remember the feel of the cage, the smell of Anya's body that had been so used, the look on Tsing's face when the Grounders reached out to her and she swept their hands off her hair and the disgusted look she had worn for them as though they were vermin.

'That's not possible.' Octavia said quickly.

'Clearly it is.' Lexa replied.

'But how? How the hell is she here?' Clarke stammered, still shaking and Lexa rubbed her arms soothingly.

'We can seek the answers later. We have to get out of the open.' Lexa urged and Clarke nodded, glad to get as far away from Tsing as they could possibly get.

Lexa led them through the streets and in the direction of the glowing light. They approached at a light jog due to Raven's leg and kept in tight formation. The earlier attack had confirmed all of their suspicions that they would not be able to complete this mission without a fight.

They entered the area where the light had come from to see that it was the sky itself that was giving the glow. Raven deduced that they'd need to work out exactly where to go themselves so they moved along the streets searching for anything familiar.

At the third street Wick found a door that stood out from all of the rest. Unlike the smooth polished doors of the rest of the city it was made of steel and there was a button to press. Clarke's unease grew; it could not be that easy. As Wick pressed the button though, no attack was launched and so they stepped inside.

They were back on the engineering deck. Clarke had been here several times with her father who had tried desperately to get her into engineering but Clarke's path had then been dedicated to medicine.

Raven and Wick immediately made their way over to the control panel as casually as if this was just another day on the Ark.

'Holy crap.' Raven muttered.

'Is this one of the places or not?' Octavia said, a harsh note to her voice and looking as though she would rather be anywhere else.

'Yeah, this is one of them.' Raven confirmed. 'Wick, get started on shutting this plant down.'

'On it. It'll take time though.'

'That's okay. They're not here yet.'

'Who isn't here?' Lexa said, her voice reflecting the danger.

'There's code that's showing activity. There's not just the people that took the chip originally. There are too many of them.' Raven said desperately.

'How is that possible?' Octavia asked.

Clarke thought she understood. She did, in her heart, the second she saw Tsing. She glanced to Lexa.

'Raven, you said you didn't know what defences would be activated to try to stop us and what weapons we'd face...'

'I know.' Raven said in a small voice.

'What is it?' Octavia asked, looking from one to the other.

'We're the weapons.' Clarke said fearfully. 'Lexa and I.'

* * *

 

'Holy hell.' Monty breathed.

'What is it?' Jasper asked, instantly by his side.

'The City of Light. It's full of people. Hundreds of them.'

Monty stared at the screen in shock. He had no idea where they had come from. None of the data was making sense. The only common connection was that the code was awfully similar to Lexa's and Clarke's signatures. At first, Monty thought there had been a malfunction and Raven had accidentally created a hundred Clarke and Lexa's but they were definitely distinct individuals.

'Okay, Lexa's a badass commander and Octavia is a warrior but how the hell are they meant to kill an army of hundreds?' Miller demanded.

'They can't.' Monty said.

* * *

 

'Clarke?' Lexa questioned.

'It's us.' Clarke said. 'The only thing that has changed in the City of Light is that we're here now. The Mountain Men never took the chips. They could not exist here before. If Tsing is here, I'm betting the rest of the Mountain Men are too.'

'Clarke, it's not like you could just wish them here.' Octavia said, looking at Clarke as though she was losing it.

'The plants were prepared.' Raven said. 'ALIE had access to all the nuclear missiles before. It makes sense that there would be some preparation in case an AI or a similar concept tried to interefere again.'

'So they used us?'

'The mini Flame works alongside the Flame. I'm guessing that Lexa triggered the defences once we set about this threat. That's how it has never happened before. The Flame is part of Lexa's blood. It takes on her entire being, her mind, her intentions and her memories and now it has yours too, Clarke.' Raven said slowly. 'I don't think that was really Tsing. It never had access to Tsing's being so it couldn't truly replicate her. That was your memory of her Clarke.

'Your memories are being used to create these soldiers which are basically fighting avatars. It's the ultimate defence to turn an attacker's weaknesses against themselves. You both have killed many people, the numbers alone and the guilt factor is probably being used to try to stop us.'

Clarke reeled. She and Lexa would basically have to conquer themselves, everything that had happened to them or burdened them in some way. Tsing was just the start. Clarke didn't want to think about what came next.

'I love it when they underestimate us.' Clarke muttered darkly.

'Guys, I'm in.' Wick muttered. 'I can shut this plant down but there's another one a few blocks over. Looks like it's in a subway station. Monty's found it by the looks of his messages. I need someone to go over there and activate the console and I can shut that down from here too.'

'I'll go.' Raven said.

'No,' Clarke said quickly, 'Wick needs you here to work through the systems. If we just need to activate it, with Monty's help we'll be able to do it.'

'I'll come with you.' Octavia offered.

Clarke glanced at Lexa. If what Wick said was true, then this room would be the first place people would likely attack. They needed a defence and Lexa was it. She was the best fighter. Clarke saw the understanding in Lexa's eyes.

'Octavia, stay here with Lexa.'

'No.' Lexa said, determination etched in her voice. 'You will at least need an escort. Their soldiers will be drawn here but it will be foolish to allow that to give you a false sense of security. They may well be keeping watch for other activity.'

Clarke took in a sharp breath, frustration gnawing at her. Lexa's face was resolute. She would not fail.

Clarke wanted to close the distance between them but she also didn't want to risk seeing Lexa's strong gaze falter. She needed to see her like this, as composed as the ultimate warrior.

'May we meet again.' Clarke half whispered.

'You'll see me soon.' Lexa vowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Clarke and O are hardly a dream team at this point. Think it'll go well for them? And can Lexa protect Raven and Wick? Quite amusing to imagine her as the third wheel if I'm honest...


	39. Fire and Water

Faint shouts were heard from the mess hall.

'How long are they going to go at it for?' Jasper asked, shuffling on his feet nervously.

'They'll lose their voices at some point.' Murphy sniped.

'Marcus is barely holding Arkadia together. Have you seen how dark it is outside? Dawn was an hour ago and yet the clouds have almost blocked out the sky.' Abby muttered, rechecking Clarke's pulse.

Murphy looked down at Clarke and Lexa. They looked so peaceful. It almost reminded him of Polis. It had been a shock to realise that they had known of this all along when they had seemed so content at the capital.

He didn't resent them for it. It was probably better that way. He got to spend his time with Emori without constantly worrying over something he couldn't change. His heart ached for her but he was a survivor. He'd carry this with him and get through it, same as always, but a little bit more broken. She would never want him to quit. She had loved him for being able to survive.

He swallowed thickly as tears threatened to fall that her unbridled spirit had left this Earth, but it had not left him. Perhaps Lexa had been right; death was not the end.

Lexa hadn't liked him much at first but she had come to accept him. Clarke had wanted him to stay in Polis the entire time. In Polis, he'd been given a home and protection. He'd been allowed to just be and he'd served Lexa because of that. Lexa would have let him walk away if he had chosen but she had requested him. She hadn't just locked him up and thought him dangerous. Jaha was the only other person who had done that but he had done it out of selfishness, because he needed people to follow him. Lexa had allowed him to stay simply because it was right.

If Skaikru carried on like this with their rage then it would only be a matter of time before they sought vengeance. They had not taken kindly to being trapped like animals in the mess hall and Kane's pleas for peace, like with Pike, had failed. He would not let them come for Lexa or Clarke.

'Jasper,' Murphy said, 'you're pretty good at breaking into things, right?'

'Yeah?' Jasper replied quizzically.

'How are you at breaking out?'

* * *

 

'I'll provide Clarke with all the time that she requires.' Lexa said, making for the door.

'Lexa, this is ridiculous. You'll be killed.' Wick pleaded.

Lexa's muscles tensed for a brief second. Clarke's people really had no faith at all in her abilities.

'Just set about completing your task.' Lexa said firmly as she pulled the door open and stepped onto the street.

Lexa waited, not moving in the harsh sunlight. A lone figure was walking towards her and she wondered if the insolent boy would be from her memory or Clarke's. Only when he drew closer did Lexa speak.

'Thank you, Jasper.' Lexa said with a trace of a smile.

'For what?' Jasper asked angrily.

'Protecting me, of course.'

Lexa shot at Jasper with the speed of a raindrop and swung him around, using his body as a shield as two knives were thrown at her. Jasper fell bleeding to the floor and clutching his stomach as Lexa charged forwards into the battle.

Her left sword parried away two blows while she struck with her right. She spun through the crowd of people, swiping low and slicing their legs open so they fell. She kicked out as someone charged forward, knocking him back. She parried another shot but dodged right as she saw a knife come her way. She blocked another attack, and swung her elbow to knock her attacker down and then spun around to throw her sword so it spun menacingly through the hair and was lodged in Emerson's chest. With her remaining sword Lexa stabbed the man she knocked to the ground.

Lexa ran to grab her sword from Emerson's falling body and easily took down the remaining five fighters with the same supreme skill.

Jasper was on all fours and trying and failing to stand. Lexa made no haste in her walk towards him and twirled her swords threateningly, plunging them both through his back before rapidly returning them to their sheaths.

'See, nothing to worry about.' Lexa muttered, not even needing to catch her breath.

* * *

 

'Wick, hurry the hell up.' Raven spat.

'I'm almost done, Raven.' Wick bit back.

'Lexa could be dying out there for all I know and then we're stuck with the army and a severely pissed off Clarke.' Raven muttered furiously.

They worked desperately at the consoles and went through their systems. They could tell Monty was too by the speed of which they were breaking through. Raven was delighted that she'd been able to connect up the chips with the Skaikru monitors so Monty could read progress even easier than they had done when Clarke originally entered the City of Light.

Wick quickly stepped back from the monitor and Raven's screen went blank.

'What the-'

'We did it.' Wick beamed.

* * *

 

'Where the hell are we?' Octavia shouted between each ferocious step.

'Keep going. Wick said it was a few blocks that-'

There was an almighty crash and Clarke was thrown into Octavia's side and they both slammed into the pavement.

'Clarke! Clarke!' Octavia screamed in fear.

Clarke groaned as she felt Octavia's hands on her, checking she was okay.

Explosions burst to life around them and the buildings along the block shattered one by one.

'Fuck!' Clarke swore and she grabbed Octavia's hand and pulled her up.

They hurled themselves forward, occasionally raising their hands in a futile attempt to save them from the spraying glass as the booms engulfed the smash of their footsteps against the concrete.

Clarke's legs burned from the strength of her run and she didn't dare look across to Octavia in case it slowed her but she could feel and hear her by her side. Clarke ran on adrenaline and fear, sure they would both be swallowed by a burst of flames as surely they could not outrun them.

The explosions followed them menacingly at both their sides but Clarke saw a street sign in the middle of the road in the distance.

'Keep going! That must be it!'

Clarke and Octavia sprinted to the steps of the entrance of the station and hurled themselves down it.  The sound of the explosions stopped immediately as though they were waiting for their return. Clarke's ears ached from the assault of the sound of the explosions and the sudden silence was disarming.

Her legs shook as she looked around. The tracks were empty and quiet and there were long darkened tunnels ahead and behind. The air felt much cooler but that could just be the absence of the flames which had so threatened them just moments before, rather than the station feeling any different to the rest of the City of Light.

Fear flooded Clarke. She had no idea how they were supposed to get back now. She blinked away thoughts of Lexa. She couldn't let her worry overtake her. Lexa would not be able to rescue her from the stalking explosions and she had no way to rescue Lexa from whatever battle she would surely face to protect Raven and Wick's position.

No trains were running and the platform was entirely empty and yet the hanging sign held the image of an amber pine cone.

'What the hell?' Clarke muttered, wracking her brains to try to figure out what it might mean but it was Octavia's memory that was stirred.

'Monty!' She breathed in realisation. 'This is the place.'

Clarke didn't ask how she knew. They'd all been close enough for so long that they all shared their own secrets and bonds. It was something Clarke had prided and resented but above all she still trusted it, and hoped that it did mean something after all.

Octavia slid her hands over the cool tiles and pressed down when she found one the same colour as the amber on the sign. It glowed bright white and a loud rumbling noise like an engine emitted from it.

'After all that and that's all we had to do.' Clarke panted, doubling over.

'At least Wick's in the system now. That's two down.' Octavia said but there was little enthusiasm in her voice. 'How do we get back?'

'I don't-' Clarke faltered.

She stared down the tunnel as a roar of noise rushed through it.

She turned to Octavia, in alarm.

'Do you hear-'

Clarke was knocked off her feet once more before she could even finished her sentence. She spluttered as she fought against waves, not understanding what was happening now. Octavia's screams however returned her senses. She fought to regain control and she spun frantically in the waves. She could see nothing. They could have been taken hundreds of feet for she could not see the entrance they came through of the sign that held the pine cone.

The lights of the tunnel flickered dangerously as the water rose. Soon the tunnel would be completely filled.

The water swept them along but Clarke saw light to the right hand side.

'Clarke!' Octavia choked.

Clarke kicked out through the water and desperately sought Octavia. The light flickered on again and Clarke saw Octavia's hand mere feet away. She threw herself at it and could have cried when she felt Octavia grasp her back. She pulled with all her might as the water continued to beat against them and dragged Octavia to the light. Her foot met hard steps and she pulled them up and out and found they emerged back onto a street.

She dropped Octavia ungraciously onto the pavement as she rested her hands on her knees but pounding footsteps made her jump up in alarm at the prospect of what on Earth could be about to attack them now.

'Clarke!' Lexa breathed and cupped her face and checked if she was okay.

'Thank God.' Wick panted, with Raven next to him.

'Clarke, I'm sorry. I think I did that in the monitors. There were about fifty people coming from you and there was a water station right near by so I played with the code and blew it. I thought you guys had left already when Wick logged into the system.' Raven apologised quickly and repeatedly.

Clarke couldn't process it. She wondered vaguely if Raven had been disastrous enough to accidentally blow up those buildings but she didn't mention it so she assumed that was yet more of the plants defences that were triggered whenever they entered certain areas. Raven's fondness for explosions had helped a lot in the past but Clarke found herself less thankful for that inclination right now.

Octavia coughed up yet more water and Clarke turned to her, struggling to get her words out between sharp gasps.

' _Why the fuck haven't you learnt to swim already_?' Clarke demanded furiously.

Octavia struggled to stand up.

'Yeah, Octavia.' Raven said, in disbelief. 'Didn't you almost get eaten by a giant river snake on the first day because you couldn't swim away?'

'Don't you dare start on me Raven Reyes!' Octavia shrieked hysterically and pointing angrily at Raven.

Raven actually took a step back in shock.

'What a brilliant plan that was! Oh I know, Clarke and Octavia have got a mob after them so I'll try to drown them! Fantastic plan!'

Clarke couldn't help it; she burst out laughing. She cackled uncontrollably at Octavia despite the gravity of the situation. Octavia was even more outraged at that and pushed Clarke heavily so that Clarke fell back into the water that was spilling slightly onto the streets. A huge splash rose up and soaked Raven. Clarke pulled herself back up, laughing even more and Raven and Wick soon joined in, with even Lexa stifling a giggle.

'We have a planet to save.' Octavia reminded them pointedly.

 


	40. Where Loyalties Lie

 Jasper slammed on the brakes as he and Miller arrived back in engineering.

'I'm never listening to Murphy again.' Jasper complained as the guard ran towards them and they were soon dragged out of the car and thrown on the ground.

There was a roar within Arkadia and the sound of a hundred beating footsteps as suddenly the population poured onto the grounds, with some sprinting out of the gates.

The guards swore uncontrollably as they pulled Jasper and Miller up. Miller found himself staring into his father's disappointed eyes as Kane burst into the room.

'What did you do?'

'It was me.' Murphy drawled, coming into engineering. 'They wanted the doors unlocked and the gate open. I was just giving the people what they want.'

Kane spun around angrily.

'Why would you do this?'

Kane searched Murphy's eyes but found nothing but defiance and a little amusement. He couldn't understand. Their people had rushed to their deaths. All they had to do was stay and trust them.

'Sooner or later they were going to turn on Clarke. They already turned on you. Clarke knew about this danger all along. That anger is better off out of here. I did what needed to be done.' Murphy shrugged.

'Did Abby know?' Kane asked quickly but Murphy only slightly smirked.

Kane shook his head in annoyance. They were yet again back to this. Still, Abby did not trust him.

'Take them back to Abby. If they want to watch over Clarke then let them.' Kane sighed as he turned to the open garage door and watched as members of Arkadia fled into the forest.

* * *

 

Abby checked Clarke's pulse which was thankfully slowing. Octavia too seemed to be calming down after whatever had happened in the City of Light.

Abby felt a pang of irritation that Lexa was supposed to be protecting her daughter yet had not seemed at all affected by whatever was happening.

Murphy, Miller, Jasper and Marcus entered the room and she quickly glanced away.

'Half of the population has fled.' Marcus said, his voice clipped.

'That is their choice.' Abby said evenly.

There was a bang against the outside wall, as though it was a pointed reminder that the weather was once again turning.

Kane's face remained stoic and Abby found herself desperate to break his hard gaze. She didn't want to be at war with him again. She needed him.

'You know that Clarke is the best chance that we have.' Aby urged.

'I do.' Kane agreed. 'But if you had faith in me you would have told me what was going on instead of once again sending teenagers to protect your daughter.'

* * *

 

'It's this way.' Wick called out as they hurried behind him, rounding the corner and turning into what looked like a museum.

It was a large glass building on the outside but inside, the space was expansive. The floor was cream marble and there were elaborate pillars every so often and the ceilings were so immensely tall that Clarke couldn't remember even feeling this insignificant when she used to look out into space. Each wall held glorious paintings from portraits, abstracts to landscapes. Clarke sucked in a breath at the sight. She couldn't remember seeing a place so beautiful. She had the same feeling when Lexa took her to the artists' square in Polis.

'Clarke,' Lexa prompted, turning back but with a look of affection rather than impatience.

'Sorry.'

They followed Wick through the first hall, to the marble stair case on the right and went up to the next level. They looked through each room and passage way for any sign of a control panel. Clarke and Lexa turned to the right corridor and made their way through the first room finding nothing. They went through each of the other rooms finally making it to the back of the art museum.

'Guys! We found it!' Raven called.

Lexa made to follow Raven's voice but she paused when Clarke stood stock still in front of one painting. It was an oil painting of the ground against a vivid sky. She would never forget that picture.

Clarke's eyes narrowed. Her hand went to her hip but it remained empty: she did not have her pistol.

'Clarke,' Lexa breathed quietly, sensing her fear.

Lexa grabbed her swords and spun around at the same time as Clarke. Clarke stepped back when Dante Wallace smiled at them both.

'Who is it?'

Lexa stepped forward and the blade of her sword was pressed dangerously against his throat but his smile did not fade.

Excluding the AI created version of Tsing, Lexa had never met any of the Mountain Men but Emerson. Of course she had no idea that Dante was the architect of the deal but Clarke had not forgotten, nor had her memories dissolved of his body falling to the floor after she had shot him.

'What do you want?' Clarke said, her throat tight.

'We don't have much time.' Dante said quickly, looking between Clarke and Lexa. 'My son and our people are preparing to fight. There is one more plant from here that will need to be connected to. It's located within the tallest building in the centre of the city, on the top floor but they'll attack here so you need to have your defences ready.'

'Why are you helping us?' Lexa hissed, taking a step forward and pushing Dante back.

'Because Clarke knows I never wanted a war before.'

Bitterness erupted in Clarke. He was the one who had been president when they were captured. He was the reason that Lexa had abandoned her on that damn mountain. She would never feel grateful to him. She resented him as much as any of the other Mountain Men. All of his good intentions had failed. He had been the architect of her grief, despite all of his promises of wanting peace.  

'That's why you're the one here.' Clarke muttered in realisation.

It was her memory of Dante, of course. He had needed their blood but he had been repulsed by their own actions.

'Will you help us?'

Clarke loathed that she had asked but she could not have him killed now. He was trying to help. She needed him and it had not been the first time she'd been forced to accept the help from someone she felt no kindness for. Ontari's blood still ran through her veins, after all.

'I wouldn't have come otherwise.' Dante replied.

Clarke nodded to Lexa who put her swords away.

'This building is large but the structure is compact.' Lexa told her; she seemed quite happy to ignore Dante. 'The only way in will be through the front door. We can prepare.'

Clarke smiled hopefully at Lexa. Throughout it all, Lexa had led and inspired. When Clarke had been utterly spent from the constant fighting, Lexa had never once tired. Clarke had wanted to hide in the shadows as Wanheda while Lexa now led them all as their Heda.

'We'll be the ones to connect up the other system so Raven and Wick can take care of it.'

'Clarke,' Lexa made to protest.

'They won't need us here.' Clarke smiled brightly and Lexa looked utterly confused at her change in tone. 'I've got a really bad plan.'


	41. Old Foes

The people who had fled Arkadia separated into different groups. Some were determined to try to make it to the dropship; anything to get away from Kane and his lies. Others simply needed to be outside for now and not be confined in the mess hall as though they were untrustworthy children.

The air, however, was thick. People were soon struggling for oxygen, their lungs heaving. The clouds swirled above as though impatiently angry that someone was interrupting their plans. Another crack of thunder echoed throughout the woods and Arkadia and dozens of screams soon filled the air as the rain began to fall once more.

* * *

 

'Jasper, keep an eye on Clarke.' Abby requested as she headed to the chancellor's quarters which were now Kane's.

Marcus was sat on the bed, with his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' Abby asked quietly, coming to sit next to him.

'I just needed a minute. I've not slept in days.' Kane sighed. 'Miller, Brian and Harper are leading the guard and keeping an eye on things.'

'So they're not just teenagers...' Abby said softly.

'Abby,' Kane groaned.

A crack rocked through Arkadia as the wind continued to batter the Alpha station that they had made their home.

'Those people are dead.' Kane said quietly.

'That was not my fault.' Abby replied.

'No, I'm the Chancellor. It was mine.' Kane admitted.

* * *

 

Clarke could see the distrust on Raven's, Wick's and Octavia's faces the second they saw Dante. She couldn't blame them, especially in the case of Raven, but she didn't have time for this- none of them did.

'We should kill him to be safe.' Raven said darkly.

'He brought us here. There's a reason this place is an art museum.' Clarke said.

Clarke suspected that deep down she had half expected to find Dante here all along. The place eerily reminded her of Mount Weather with its gleaming floors and attention to fine art but while Mount Weather had felt suffocating, the museum felt liberating.

'I needed a way to warn Clarke that I was here and that-' Dante said, indicating the control panel behind them, '-will only help you into the next room.'

Wick shot him a look of disbelief before going to the panel and sure enough within a second of Wick touching it the colours of the wall changed to reveal the door of the Mountain.

'I'd have figured that out.' Wick grumbled. 'Where does it lead?'

'The control room of the Mountain is behind that door. Everything you need is contained within the museum.' Dante replied.

'He's already told us where the next control panel we need to link up to is,' Clarke said quickly, 'and he's going to help you fight off the Mountain Men.'

'Us?' Octavia asked quickly.

'Lexa and I have to get to the other panel.' Clarke responded.

Octavia snorted.

'So you're just going to leave us?'

Clarke tried to ignore the sting behind Octavia's words. Octavia would likely always view her as a stain on their people who had abandoned them for an easier life in Polis and perhaps, after taking down ALIE there was a considerable amount of truth to that.

'Yes, but not without help.' Clarke replied, looking to Raven.

'Oh damn.' Raven muttered. 'This is going to be bad, isn't it?'

Clarke smiled in response.

'Can you access our code, and specifically that of the Flame, from these panels?' Clarke asked and Raven nodded cautiously.

'And you guys can communicate with Monty too?'

'Yeah, I mean, it's not like we can send him long messages in the middle of a war but yeah.' Wick replied.

'Where are you going with this, Clarke?' Raven asked.

'They've been trying to use us as a weapon, so maybe it's about time we started fighting back.' Clarke smiled.

'What are you talking about?' Octavia asked.

'If they can trigger our memories and use them against us then Raven, could you do the same? Could you access our memories in the Flame and create our own army to rival theirs?'

Raven's eyes were wide in shock.

'I murdered three hundred of Trikru when they attacked the drop ship, they will be loyal to Lexa. All of the people we have lost could be called upon to fight for us.' Clarke said quickly, eyes glinting with determination.

'It's possible-' Wick swallowed, looking at Raven.

'But?'

'Clarke,' Raven started, 'we've never done anything like this before. It could be too unstable. We might not bring them back right. The code could be fragmented or manipulated. It's a huge gamble.'

If the people brought to existence within the Flame weren't done so correctly they could be used to slaughter all of them. This plan could only hasten their doom. If it went wrong, they would have lost time to prepare against the coming order and would have created yet more enemies.

'We have over three hundred Mountain Men coming for us, as well as the people who ALIE had already persuaded to take the chip,' Lexa said calmly,'as well as the defences protecting this City. We alone cannot do this.'

Clarke gave Lexa an appreciative smile. Technology was so foreign to Lexa and something she did not inherently trust. It was a strange reality given that Lexa had lived so long with the Flame, but she had not grown up in the same culture that Clarke had where technology was relied upon for the very basis of existence. This was a bigger leap of faith for Lexa than it was for anyone.

'May I remind you of the chaos my son caused the last time he declared war on you?' Dante spoke to Raven.

'And we beat him, without help.' Raven said pointedly, looking at Lexa.

Clarke resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Raven and she knew that Lexa's jaw would have clenched at those words.

They had come through horrendous odds before when they had been trapped but now the Mountain Men could not simply die by breathing, and they had no back up plan of unleashing a wave of flames upon the incoming army.

'Raven, we don't have a button and a load of rocket fuel this time.' Clarke pleaded. 'What else is there?'

'If this goes wrong-'

'Then we won't be in any worse a position as we are facing almost certain death at this point.' Lexa interjected.

Wick didn't wait for Raven to answer before pushing the door open and they followed him in, Raven rather sulkily.

Clarke had to fight the urge to wretch upon standing in the control room again. She turned away quickly from Dante, and felt instantly clammy. She was starting to appreciate just what impact standing before the murdered was having. It was a hell of a weapon.

Wick went straight to the monitor that Monty had sat at when they had irradiated level five. Clarke couldn't watch as he worked.

'Okay, they aren't here yet. We have enough time to do this. It should just be a case of replicating the same process as the plant defences used.' Wick muttered and Raven sighed in defeat and went over to help him.

Clarke turned away from the screens on the wall. They showed the museum now which would give them some preparation for the attack but it only served to remind her of that day in the Mountain. Lexa moved towards her and took her hand softly and Clarke found herself wondering if they were still holding hands where they lay in Arkadia. She was sure they were, as deep as she was in the City of Light, she just knew.

'Are you okay?' Lexa asked, concerned.

'It's just being back here.' Clarke admitted, emphasising the last word and Lexa nodded her understanding.

 'As soon as this is done we'll be leaving.' Lexa said and Clarke smiled. 'It'll be dangerous.  We don't know what else we'll face.'

'It'll be fine.' Clarke said, smiling. 'I trust you.'

'Clarke, this is serious.' Lexa replied. 'I cannot stop-'

'Oh just let me have one moment of being nice.' Clarke snapped playfully and planted a tender kiss on Lexa's cheek.

'We'll have a lot more in Polis.' Lexa stated, not able to resist a smile.

'So I'm allowed to go back? After all of the drama I've caused?'

'You could go wandering through the woods again and I'll send someone to drag you back to Polis if you'd prefer?' Lexa smirked.

Clarke chuckled lightly.

'You really have a flair for the dramatic, you know that?' Clarke teased but Raven broke them out of their moment when she jumped from her chair.

'People are coming!'

Clarke looked to the monitors and saw a huge crowd of people outside of the room. Her blood turned to ice. They couldn't have possibly missed them coming into the museum.

'Who is it?' Octavia asked quietly.

'I think it's them.' Raven said in disbelief.


	42. Unity

'Opening the gates has created another problem.' Kane muttered darkly.

'They are Trikru. You must allow them in.' Indra spat.

Those who had survived the brutal storms, were desperately trying to make their way to the grounds. Several had already made it but medical was over run. Jackson had only Jasper to aid him as the head of medical was busy monitoring those in the City of Light.

Kane nodded and gave the order for them to be allowed in. Jackson ran to meet them. There were only four and they were all severely burned. Kane could not make out their facial features as he watched them being stretchered to medical. One, who was around six foot tall, had half of the spin off his back hanging off revealing bright red flesh.

'The other clans might be struggling to contain people.' Kane muttered.

'People will be fleeing to anywhere they can.'

Kane couldn't begin to comprehend it. At least here they had some shelter, but so many of the grounder villages and settlements would be completely vulnerable. The storm was still enormous in size and black rain threatened every so often. Lightning was also cackling and striking with such force that several times people had shouted that they were sure they could make smoke out in the distance, even despite the grey skies.

'This loss of control was precisely what Lexa wished to avoid.' Kane replied.

'Lexa's best intentions have failed us again. Now we have lost control, people are already dying, probably in their thousands from the exposure to radiation. Her people will demand answers when she wakes.'

* * *

 

Abby sighed in exhaustion as she sat opposite the beds Lexa and Clarke occupied. Clarke was still holding onto Lexa's hand as if in case they would float away from one another in their tranquility.

'What are they like together?' Abby asked Murphy quietly. 'Clarke's always kept me away from Lexa.'

It was true. Even when they planned the war, Clarke assumed the title of leader despite Abby's best efforts to keep her daughter from getting too involved. She'd seen very little of their interactions together. The only thing she had witnessed was Clarke's growing admiration. She had little idea of how their relationship actually developed.

'Do you blame her?' Murphy asked lazily. 'You murdered her father. Can't really be surprised she'd want to keep you away from the person she loves most.'

Abby glared at Murphy in irritation.

'You don't anything about what happened.' Abby spat.

'I know Clarke.' Murphy smirked.  'You're disappointed in her because she's a murderer but you disappoint her too. That's why even after she watched you hang yourself she can barely still stand to look at you.'

Abby glanced down at Clarke's form and struggled to hold back her tears. Her daughter had turned away from her and trusted Lexa of all people. She had chosen darkness and murder time and again and Abby didn't know how long she could keep supporting that.

* * *

 

They stepped back out into the museum's hallway shakily to face the hundreds of people that were cramming along the corridor. There was barely room to contain them all. Raven immediately launched herself on Finn but he smiled at Clarke.

'Thank you.' He mouthed to her and she nodded with tears in her eyes.

Wells and Bellamy also beamed at her and Octavia ran forwards to Lincoln.

'I can't believe that you're here.' Octavia said, tears falling freely and Lincoln kissed her tenderly.

'Costia!' Lexa breathed happily and she surged forwards to hug a woman with dark skin and long brown hair.

Clarke's smile faltered and her tears that threatened were of pain, rather than the overwhelming joy at seeing her friends again. Lexa, however, quickly pulled away from Costia and turned to Clarke smiling.

'Clarke, this is-'

'Costia?' Clarke finished and Lexa nodded and walked back to Clarke and took her hand.

Clarke glanced down at their entwined hands, taken aback.

Clarke smiled a soft hello at Costia and Lexa squeezed her hand in reassurance.

Raven broke the tension when she finally stepped back from Finn.

'Remember, they're-you're-it's Clarke and Lexa's memory.' Raven said shakily and looking anywhere but at Finn or Wick. 'And what happened, well, we may have distorted it. There could have been other people, not loyal or how you remember. We need to be careful.'

'Everyone here right now is loyal, Raven.' Bellamy promised. 'We're here to protect you guys.'

'Good.' Clarke said, her voice wavering but she forced herself to meet Bellamy's eyes.

She struggled not to run to him. She'd missed him so much and she'd been so angry at him. She'd cursed that it was so difficult to scream at Bellamy and tell him to go to hell when he was already dead. Now he was here, at least a reflection of him, and she didn't know what to say but she knew there was nothing left to say. He always understood.

'Because we don't have a lot of time.' Clarke continued. 'We need to fortify the protections here while Raven and Wick get to work.'

'I can help them.' Sinclair said, stepping forward and Clarke saw Raven's brilliant smile; she should have known Raven would ensure that she would get to see Sinclair again.

'And the rest of us can defend this place.' Finn promised.

'Good then Lexa and I need to access the last panel. They'll be drawn here because if this place falls then we die. Everything runs back to this base.'

Clarke nodded to Lexa and was surprised that Lexa was completely focused upon her. She had so many questions about Costia but Lexa seemed content with the reality she had now; that Costia was just a memory and she didn't seem to want anything more.

'Warriors, this fight will determine the fate of all of the clans. You must hold this position at whatever the cost.' Lexa said turning to her warriors and Clarke shared a nervous look with Bellamy; she had been the one to burn them in a ring of fire but Lexa's authority was such that they would follow their commander anywhere. 'The people of Earth are depending upon us. We were all chosen for this battle. Even death could not separate us. Our fight is not yet over.'

'We must be prepared. We will face defences we can't begin to imagine. The Mountain Men think they can beat us but Skaikru have already shown how weak they are. United, we will see this victory and they will fall.'

'They think that because we're still human, that we are grounders that makes us savages, that it makes us weak but they have not begun to witness our true strength. They say a computer can't experience pain but they will suffer the terror of our army. Together to victory!'

The warriors let out cries of devotion to their Heda and began to chant Lexa's title. Even Bellamy smiled wryly in admiration as they went together for the last time into battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I'm so sorry for the late update but I have a long term illness that has decided to play havoc with me today. Hopefully things will be back to normal tomorrow but if not then my updates will be a little slower. I hope you can understand.


	43. Hello Goodbye

Jasper was dead on his feet. He'd only been able to do minimal tasks to help Jackson so he didn't know how Jackson was still managing.

Indra had come into medical but only for a few moments. It was easy to notice the pain on her face at seeing her people in this condition. Two had already died.

One of the dead had screamed for hours that he had heard the Commander was here. He had demanded to speak to Lexa despite the fact that his feet looked as those they had rotted away and he could hardly move. He screamed of how she had abandoned her people, how he wished that she would die before him while the other Grounder survivors looked on. He died after another hour of shouting how he had been abandoned by his leader and Jasper hated himself when his first reaction had been that he was glad of the quiet.

Jasper dragged himself over to the newest arrival who was lying on a bed. Jackson had said she just needed monitoring now that she had an IV as she had luckily been able to shield herself from much of the rain. Somehow she had procured a Mount Weather helmet and goggles and managed to shield much of her face with fabrics. Her arms though were covered in burns and even managing the effects with radiation, a major problem was going to be the possibility of infection. Jasper's eyes found their way to her face and his eyes widened in realisation.

'Niylah?' Jasper asked, shocked.

Niylah let out an indistinguishable hoarse whisper but Jasper was certain it was her.

'It's okay. We're taking care of you.' He promised quietly.

'Cl-'

Niylah's voice failed but Jasper thought he understood.

'Clarke's fine, so is the Commander.'

Niylah seemed too tired to even gaze around the room and Jasper was about to walk away when she finally managed to get out one word.

'Why?'

It was the one question Jasper didn't know how to answer.

* * *

 

'Commander, we will hold this position.' Anya defiantly promised her as they, with Wells and Clarke, made for the museum's exit.

Lexa smiled at her former mentor. Anya had always shown the upmost commitment and determination. This memory of her was at least accurate.

'I know that you will.' Lexa said softly.

Anya grasped her forearm briefly and she glanced over to Clarke.

'I'm glad you're here.' Clarke offered although Lexa could see she was slightly nervous and Anya smirked.

Raven had explained that with the Flame and the mini Flame working in such close synchronisation, their memories may merge together. The Anya here was likely a product of both of them and that was how the Grounder army Clarke had murdered had listened to Lexa. Clarke's memory of them was as under Anya's command, but the combined memory of the warriors of Trikru gave a much truer reflection. While this was tactically useful it also made Lexa deeply uneasy. So many of them had lost people and were now reunited with this impression of their loved ones. It would be enough to confuse anyone. She appreciated Costia's memory for what it was but she was worried, particularly when watching Octavia, that the others may not be able to keep the same clarity.

'I warn you, Commander, that when I followed Clarke I ended up shot.' Anya retorted.

Lexa could tell Anya was seeking a rise and Clarke's face fell slightly. Lexa's eyes narrowed. Anya had always enjoyed smug teasing but perhaps Clarke's memory had not let yet go of her fear of the death of those she cared for.

'Yet Clarke survived so clearly she displayed more aptitude than you.' Lexa commented quickly and Anya did laugh.

'She is something, Commander, I will admit.'

Lexa didn't fail to mention the respect and pride in Anya's eyes as they went from her to Clarke.

'We need to leave.' Lexa said with a slight sadness; it was good to see Anya again but they could not be swayed from their objective.

Lexa stepped back slightly as Clarke turned to Wells. Lexa had immediately been able to decipher how close they had once been just by how closely they walked together and the little looks Clarke would shoot at Wells.

'I'm glad I got to see you again.' Clarke confessed and Lexa had to resist the urge to stroke Clarke's tears away.

'Don't apologise again.' Wells said quickly but kindly. 'We're good.'

'Maybe if you had survived things would be different.' Clarke admitted. 'You were the good one. You were always the good one.'

'You are good, Clarke.' Wells promised. 'You've survived this long because they needed you.'

'So what do I do when this is over?' Clarke asked desperately and Wells smiled as he looked at Lexa.

'Then you live.'

Clarke threw her arms over Wells and he pulled her into a tight hug. Anya smiled at Lexa and Lexa was flooded with understanding. She could almost feel Anya's grudging respect for Clarke and she experienced such tranquility at their journey and was aware of a knowledge that she had not had before and Lexa wondered if the connection between the Flames was enough to share memories between herself and Clarke.

Clarke wiped her eyes as she pulled away from Wells.

'May we meet again.' She whispered.

Clarke turned to Lexa and they walked together through the glass doors but Wells soon called out to her and she turned back before heading out onto the street.

'Hey, Clarke, I did cheat at chess that time.' Wells shrugged with a smile.

Clarke theatrically pointed at him.

'I knew it!'

Clarke laughed loudly as she and Lexa launched themselves into the City of Light and back into the fight.


	44. Backup

'Thank you, Monty.' Wick practically sang as he was at the control panel.

'What is it?' Bellamy asked.

The Grounders had almost all gone to the ground level. They had smashed the glass windows and the best archers were positioned at them on every floor. Otherwise fighters were scattered inside with those who carried spears waiting at the door to try to force the enemy back when they inevitably broke through.

'He's playing with the code. He can't make drastic changes like giving us a huge missile to take these bastards out but he's played around to make helpful changes.' Wick replied.

'Care to expand?' Bellamy snapped impatiently.

'This place is now also a history museum.' Raven answered and unhelpfully so judging by Bellamy's reaction.

'Meaning?' He asked, his arms folded.

'There's swords here now and other weapons we can use. Shields too.'

'You know the last time I got into a sword fight it didn't turn out that well, right?' Bellamy replied sarcastically.

'Lucky for you then that you're fighting with the Grounders this time and not one of them.' Raven replied easily.

'Clarke's not-'

'Yeah, she kind of is.' Raven remarked, cutting him off.

* * *

 

Octavia and Lincoln were perched on the staircase, ready to charge anyone who broke through and fight their way onto the streets to keep the Mountain Men and ALIE's followers back. Raven had been able to monitor them and they were staying to the alleys over a block away. Octavia couldn't understand what they were waiting for but she was not complaining. Having Lincoln this close to her again was intoxicating. She wasn't sure she ever wanted to leave the City of Light.

'They must be waiting for Clarke and Lexa to trigger some defences.' Lincoln muttered.

'When Clarke and I got close to the control panel the city started exploding around us.' Octavia replied.

'I know.' Lincoln smiled.

'How?'

'I'm a part of Clarke.' Lincoln answered simply. 'You have been so brave already.'

'Guess you were right then, you did make a warrior out of me after all.' Octavia smiled and nudged his shoulder with his own but Lincoln stared at her blankly and her heart dropped.

Lincoln would not remember that because Clarke had not been there to witness it. This was not her Lincoln. It was the projection of one that Clarke knew but nothing more. Lincoln's love was based on Clarke's interpretation of it and not on the love that they had both shared and experienced.

'It doesn't matter.' Octavia shook her head sadly as her eyes burned.

Lincoln opened his mouth to comment but the lights of the museum flashed on as the City was plunged into night.

'They're coming!' Anya roared. 'Archers, fire!'

* * *

 

As night descended upon them and the street lights blinked on Clarke suddenly stopped and looked around.

'What the hell is happening now?' Clarke panted.

'It must be because we're getting closer.' Lexa said. 'We've triggered their defences.'

It made sense that they would suddenly be under the nightsky. This had happened the last time when they were in the City of Light and now that they were facing a threat once more the action had been repeated. Lexa also knew well the value of attacking at night fall. It gave the enemy, particularly one that had good cover, less of an advantage. The Mountain Men would find it easier to approach the museum and confuse Lexa's army. She was not concerned however; she had Anya in charge and some of the best warriors there had lived to protect Raven and Wick while they carried out their task.

They were only a few blocks away from their destination which towered above the rest of the city. They hurried along the pavement passing closed cafes, shops and even a motorbike shop.  Before they could make their way onwards, Lexa pulled Clarke into the side alley and glanced ahead.

'How many?' Clarke breathed.

'Twenty, give or take.' Lexa scanned quickly.

Clarke hissed in irritation and pulled out a small dagger that had two letters carved on it that Lexa could not make out in the lack of light.

'Wells gave it to me.' Clarke muttered in response to the unasked question.

'That won't be enough.' Lexa said but not unkindly.

'Then give me one of your swords.' Clarke huffed and Lexa merely raised an eyebrow playfully. 'Lexa, come on-'

'I'm more than capable of defeating them.' Lexa replied confidentally.

'Lexa, there are twenty of them.'

'Are you really questioning my abilities again?' Lexa challenged.

'Stop playing the damn hero, okay-'

Lexa however, chose to ignore what Clarke was saying and slipped out of cover and approached the soldiers rapidly but silently. She quickly snapped the first soldier's neck she came across. She then quickly pulled out her swords and sliced them both warriors next to her through the abdomens before chaos broke lose and they realised Lexa was attacking them.

Lexa dodged the advancing attack of three warriors, spinnning with her swords and slicing two of their necks and headbutting the third that had stepped closer to her.

Lexa caught a glimpse of more running towards her and she realised she had underestimated their numbers by around half. Her synchonisation with the Flame told her she had managed to escape such a conflict before but now that was no option. She had to deafeat them and get Clarke to that panel.

Two more warriors advanced upon her with swords but Lexa elbowed the one to her left and threw him into the path of the sword the other warrior was wielding. She lunged forward and cut him down easily and just managed to parry a blow by another attacker. Three more advanced and while she struck out at two she was powerless to stop them all and soon felt a punch connect with her jaw. As she stepped back she slipped her ankle beneath the warrior's and he fell, knocking over one other.

Lexa took a small jump backwards and waved her swords menacingly so they hissed through the air. She waited as one lunged forwards and met his blade with her own before slicing through his gut with her second sword. She danced around each attack as they came, knowing that defending was key and would gradually provide an opening to bring them down one by one. She would not tire. She could not stop.

Lexa met every blow that came her way but there was still a dozen soldiers literally dying to get at her. Those who had remained back were beginning to advance at her side and she could not let them surround her. She kicked out so that they fell back into each other while striking down one who had came at her side but there was a roar and a smash of glass behind her.

Lexa managed to throw herself against a shop wall as a screech of tires flew by her and Clarke rolled across the street. There was a dull repetitive thud as the orange bike slammed into the mid section of the warriors, taking all but three out.

Panic ripped through Lexa as Clarke struggled to stand and she quickly charged at each of the remaining warriors, leaping from one to the next as they fell with renewed venom in her desire to protect Clarke. As their bodies flopped helplessly to the ground she quickly scanned the area and only when she was certain they were clear did she put her swords away and rushed to Clarke who had finally managed to stand.

Lexa's fingers went straight to a gash on Clarke's forehead but it was bleeding only lightly. Clarke smiled into her touch but Lexa didn't fail to notice how Clarke's hands were shaking slightly.

'What was that?' Lexa demanded sharply.

'I wasn't going to stand there and watch you die.' Clarke replied, out of breath slightly.

'So your plan was to fly at them and then dive off that contraption at full speed?' Lexa asked furiously.

'Whatever works.' Clarke shrugged.

'You could have been killed.' Lexa said.

Her anger swelled at how close she had been to losing Clarke. Clarke hadn't even learnt how to drive that damn rover. The plan was reckless and foolish and completely unneccessary. Clarke always dove in first to protect her loved ones before thinking but Lexa had not expected her to do it quite so literally. She felt her own hands shake when she glanced at the fallen bike.

'You needed me.' Clarke replied with a touch of defiance.

'I had the situation under control.' Lexa replied with indignation and Clarke snorted.

'Lexa, we work much better together.' Clarke replied smugly and Lexa found herself infuriated. 'Now, are we going to the panel or not?'

'Once we get out of this City we are talking about this.' Lexa hissed and Clarke struggled to hold back her laugh.

'So protective...'

'Clarke,' Lexa called as Clarke walked backwards, towards the tower and smirking at Lexa.

'Don't just stand there, Heda. We've got a planet to save.'

Lexa bit her tongue in disbelief at Clarke but found herself smirking too. She rolled her eyes and just prayed that whatever awaited them they would be able to conquer together.


	45. Lost to a Memory

Raven and Wick had managed to barricade themselves inside the control room and the warriors had also blocked off the upstairs with piles of furniture and paintings. They were using everything at hand to make their defences as strong as possible. It did not matter how many died. The key was keeping the enemy outside of that control room.

Anya had been well prepared for the attack. She had sent two warriors to steal alcohol and anything flammable from the shops along the city before the attack got going. It was a risk sending them out in daylight alone but they returned within fifteen minutes. As the sun began to darken, bottles were launched from the upstairs window and smashed along the street.

They could hear shouts and cries of confusion but they were faint as they had not dared to draw close to the museum yet. The enemy did not understand the meaning of their actions. When the darkness consumed the street the soldiers launched their attack but Anya gave the archers the order to open fire from their positions at the windows.

Flaming arrows flew through the air, not at individuals but at the ground which was suddenly engulfed by flames as the alcohol burned. A wave of fighters was caught up in the flames and screamed out in agony but it forced the rest of the attackers back, spluttering and coughing from the billowing smoke.

There was only one main street that led to the museum. The East and West side would be difficult for the enemy to penetrate as the archers would easily pick them off; they needed a direct assault on the doors. The Mountain Men and the rest of ALIE's followers were forced to wait. Octavia noticed Anya's cool but smug smile at this. This was about buying time for Raven, Wick, Lexa and Clarke. Octavia found herself desperately hoping that Clarke would hurry but even she had to grudgingly admit that with Lexa by her side she could see little stopping Clarke.

Gradually the flickering light of the fires began to lessen and the attackers began to rush forwards.

Anya drew out her swords and breathed deeply.

'Archers again!'

The archers fired but without the power of flames this time. A wave of attackers fell but half a dozen managed to make it to the door and started to fight against the barricade. Anya nodded to the warriors behind her who were ready with their spears and stepped aside.

The archers kept shooting as new waves were launched and the door rocked unsteadily. Octavia and Lincoln drew out their blades. Octavia glanced to him, smiling with sorrow that they were reunited only to do battle but also with determination for they would defeat this together.

There was a loud crash as the furniture gave way and two soldiers pushed themselves through the door but only for a moment as spears were fired with such ferocity at them they were thrown back into the street.

More soldiers stepped forward and they were hit once more with spears. This was repeated again and again until finally, there was only blades left and too many of the enemy were at the door. The doors broke off their hinges with a warning crunch as they forced their way through and the united army of Skaikru and Trikru let out a piercing war cry that Octavia prayed Clarke and Lexa could hear; this was for them.

Octavia and Lincoln stepped forward into the fight in unison and both took on their own attackers. The Mountain Men had armed themselves too and Octavia was momentarily caught off guard when she saw the blade they fought with; it matched Jasper's description of the sabre Dante kept. She just managed to dodge as her attacker tried to slice her arm clean off but Octavia saw the opening and drove her own blade through his stomach. Her lip curled into a bitter smile.

'Good to see you again.' She smirked as she pulled her blade out of Emerson's stomach and kicked his body away.

There was a scream as Emori had climbed through the shattered downstairs window and jumped at Octavia who had been focused on Emerson. Octavia spun as a sword was thrown, spinning dangerously through the air and hit Emori in the shoulder and sent her at speed back out the window she had come through.

'I told you we didn't need guns!' Finn called.

Octavia actually laughed before starting to duel with another Mountain Man.

Chaos reigned on the ground level but still Trikru and Skaikru together held the advantage. None of the fighters made it close to the stairs. Finn was roughly wrestling with one of the security guards from the Mountain. They kept hurling each other backwards and knocking out other people who were dueling. Lincoln skillfully took down two people in almost as many seconds, showing his class as one of Trikru's finest warriors. Anya was fighting three people with supreme ease with her two blades. Try as they might, they couldn't get close to landing a blow on her and Anya laughed between each of their attacks. Monroe and Stirling were helping organise the archers as still more of the enemy was waiting to launch a fresh wave of attacks from the street.

Yet the Mountain Men and the remnants of ALIE's supporters would not be deterred. From the fallen bodies in the streets, they pulled out the bows that had impaled them and used them to arm their own make shift bows.

Octavia struggled to finally take down a reaper she had been sparring with for several intensive moments. He had much greater power and each met blow had caused her arm to shudder but he was slow with his tactics and left himself exposed. She was able to swing her blade and decapitate him. Octavia panted heavily as she watched him fall and turned to face the doors once more for the next attack.

Cage Wallace walked calmly to the doors. He looked as immaculate as ever in his grey suit and his confident smile was fixed firmly in place. He continued to saunter closer as Octavia finally registered him and he smirked, raising his make shift bow and pulling the arrow back. Octavia's eyes widened and terror clammed at her heart as she knew what was going to happen. Octavia didn't have a chance to dodge as Cage fired but Lincoln dove into the path and there was a dull thud and a strangled groan as Lincoln slumped heavily to the polished floors.

Anya let out a fierce howl of anger and struck at tow of the warriors she was fighting and slamming the last out of the way while she charged at Cage. He raised fired a second arrow at her but she knocked it away with the blade in her right hand and tore her other blade through his heart.

'Yu gonplei ste odon.' Anya spat.

Octavia grabbed Lincoln and cupped his face, her own tears splashing onto him.

'No, no, no, no, not again, no, please...' Octavia sobbed.

This was Clarke's memory of Lincoln. It was her memory of the sacrifice he had already made to protect Octavia. History had been doomed to repeat itself.

Octavia pressed kisses to Lincoln's lips but his eyes were already lifeless. Octavia pressed one last kiss to him and murmured against his skin.

'I love-'

Octavia gasped in shock and pain as she was driven back from Lincoln's body to collapse upon the floor with an arrow sunk into her shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry for the lack of Clexa this chapter (although they were mentioned) but I wanted to spread out the action a bit more over the chapters. This is a full on battle so I just wanted to make it feel a bit more accurate time wise rather than cram every scene in one chapter. The next chapter is purely Clexa though and should be up later today. 
> 
> Also, apologies that in this fic Lincoln and Emori have died twice but in my defence Linc's first death was really JRoth's fault so...


	46. Monsters Inside of Us

Lexa felt Clarke next to her shudder against the cold as they approached the tower quietly. They glanced around but there was no sign of life.

'Reminds me of Polis.' Clarke whispered to Lexa as she looked up at the enormous tower.

'There is no need to whisper, Clarke.' Lexa soothed her. 'I am sure we are alone.'

Lexa knew that Clarke did not take much comfort from this. She was used to the noise of battle and from running from one crisis to another.

'This will sound stupid but that worries me more.' Clarke admitted.  

Clarke clearly couldn't shake the sense of dread that was dogging her and Lexa felt it too. There had been many defences they had already faced. She could not believe this was the end.

'The quietest whisper can signal greater danger than the loudest war drum, Clarke.' Lexa agreed.

Often the greatest danger she had faced had stemmed from the quiet and lingering doubts over her position as commander and not the cries of war that Azgeda had been so fond of issuing. Regardless, she was ready for whatever they would meet.

Lexa carried on with purpose towards the door of the tower. Her eyes narrowed as they drew closer and took in its form. It was unlike the rest of the city. The door was made from dark wood and Lexa thought it reminded her of the forests of the lands of Trikru. All of the symbols of the thirteen clans were marked in a circle on the door, but the picture of the Flame was at the very centre.

Clarke glanced at Lexa impatiently and moved around her to push at the door. It would not budge.

'Worth a try.' Clarke grumbled, stepping back.

'It was.' Lexa breathed quietly, deep in thought.

Lexa continued to stare at the symbol as she let clarity sweep through her.

'If we could find something strong enough-'

'No, Clarke.' Lexa said, still without moving in front of the door.

'We need to get the door open, Lexa.'

Lexa did not miss the note of exasperation in Clarke's voice.

'Of course,' Lexa agreed benignly, 'but I do not think any force will be enough to cast it aside. It has told us what it requires.'

'Told us?' Clarke repeated uncertainly. 'It's a door.'

'A door inside the City of Light.' Lexa reminded her and she knew that at her words, Clarke was remembering the signs of the Flame that had guided her the last time she had entered the city.

'So what does it need?' Clarke asked quickly. 'A password?'

Clarke quickly muttered the pass phrase but the door did not move.

Lexa smiled; it was worth an attempt too but she had known the answer all along.

'It needs me.' Lexa said simply. 'But once this door is open we do not know what we will face. The soldiers will be at the museum but there are far worse things than facing a sword.'

The door could not be clearer with its intent. It wanted the one that had created the Coalition. It was wearing the sign of the Commander. It could only mean Lexa.

'What?' Clarke asked nervously.

'I'm the Commander, Clarke.' Lexa said turning to her and shrugging casually before turning back to the door. 'Ai laik Heda.'

The section that wore the mark of the Flame sprung open to reveal a metal prong that had the entire coalition badge on its tip. Lexa reached out and picked it up, examining it closely. She could feel the heat radiating from where she was to be branded.

'This is ridiculous.' Clarke said, evidently working out the intent.

'I do not think it is to hurt me, at least by burning.' Lexa said after a moment.

There were far more effective ways to hurt someone. The door could have required black blood to pass. The Flame itself could have been manipulated to cause excruciating pain, if ALIE had been used to take away pain. This was a test.

'I do not know what will happen when I take the branding but I imagine the door will open. You must get to the control panel.' Lexa told her.

Lexa could see the war raging behind Clarke's eyes which were burning with more intensity than any fire. Clarke needed to save everyone; if they didn't get to that panel they were all dead but she would never want to leave Lexa. Finally, Clarke seemed unable to argue that she should stay.

Clarke nodded her agreement.

Lexa smiled reassuringly to her as she pressed the brand to her left forearm.

Lexa immediately dropped the iron rod as she cried out in agony. She saw flashes of Clarke on the Mountain alone, of Clarke's dead body, of Costia's severed head which then turned to Clarke's. Flames raged across the lands of Trikru and the tallest mountain of Azgeda fell to nothing more than dust. People were starving and dying, emaciated bodies lining the streets and Clarke moved into the image, deathly pale and blood dripping from her lips.

Lexa continued to scream as she was assaulted by images. Her insides burned as though she had branded her own blood. Lexa was vaguely aware of two hands dragging her and pulling her forward but she turned her head to the side as she vomited. As soon as the sickness dispelled, she started screaming again at the images and Clarke was now tied to a post outside of Arkadia, and it was Lexa plunging the knife into her as Clarke had done to Finn. She choked back a sob and blinked quickly as the image fled her mind and she rocked, able now to comprehend that Clarke was holding onto her.

Her breathing was ragged and it was a few moments before she was able to take in their surroundings. They were back in the tower at Polis and Lexa suddenly felt extremely confused, forgetting totally about what they had set out to do.

'You're in the City of Light still.' Clarke said shakily; she had observed Lexa's looks around the room and Lexa didn't miss how terrified Clarke sounded. 'The door opened as soon as you took the brand. I grabbed you and dragged you in. You kept screaming, you kept pleading. I didn't know-there was nothing I could do.'

Lexa's hand snaked around Clarke's leg and she stroked it lightly, trying to soothe Clarke too as she could feel the fear that radiated from the woman behind her. Shame was like rot in her stomach.

'What did I say?' Lexa asked, not sure if she wanted to know.

'You kept saying that you wanted anything but me.' Clarke muttered and Lexa immediately tensed and turned to face Clarke.

'It was images of you dying. I didn't want you to-'

Clarke kissed her forehead lightly to cut her off.

'I know, I figured you meant anything else to happen but my death.' Clarke said shakily.

The images still fluttered in her mind but with far less strength. It was not the product of the test as that had come to pass, but the memories of it. The trial had been to face her fears. They had evoked their own memories within the City and now the fear of the future and what else awaited them was being used to try to deter them.

Lexa wanted to rest her head into Clarke's shoulder and simply sleep but they still had a war to get back to. Their people still needed them. She slowly rose to her feet and Clarke matched her but she held out her hand as if ready to catch Lexa should she fall.

Lexa looked around the ground floor of the tower, frowning.

'Why are we here?' Lexa asked and Clarke looked truly alarmed now so Lexa quickly clarified. 'I told you to leave me.'

Clarke sighed in relief that Lexa had not been so disarmed as to forget why they were here.

'Yeah, I know, it was all very noble but it was a crap plan.' Clarke said. 'I told you that I had chosen to be on your side of the line, okay? We didn't have time to argue so I just-'

'Lied?' Lexa questioned sharply.

'When you put it like that it sounds pretty bad.' Clarke admitted. 'But it was what was best for the war, anyway. I can't do this without you.'

Lexa eyed Clarke suspiciously for a second until Clarke broke their gaze.

'Would you really leave me?' Clarke asked and Lexa's heart dropped that Clarke spoke to the floor as though scared of the answer and Lexa reached out and took her hands in hers.

'No.' Lexa promised.

Clarke looked up to meet her eyes with a tender expression etched upon her face.

'Then let's get going.' Clarke smiled.


	47. Mebi oso na Hit Choda op Nodotaim

'Jasper run the saline wide open.' Abby called to Jasper who was racing around Octavia's body.

Abby continued to monitor Lexa who had been shaking uncontrollably and whose heart at been racing for several long and worrying moments. Lexa was beginning to calm and Abby checked Clarke's pulse but it remained relatively steady, although it had peaked but only for one brief moment. Confusion clouded Abby's mind; she was sure that Lexa would be with Clarke and yet it was Octavia who was now in such a fragile state that Lexa had just narrowly avoided.

Abby danced around the beds and made her way to the end bed where Octavia was lying. Abby checked for a pulse. A minute stretched and Abby reeled when she felt nothing. She quickly reached for her torch to check Octavia's pupils and she felt terror when they did not respond.

'Damn it!' Abby hissed before starting compressions.

'What can I do?' Jasper asked, frightened.

'Tilt her head back and blow into her mouth when I say.' Abby said tightly, between compressions.  'You, Miller! Keep feeling for a pulse!'

Miller surged forwards and Monty stared at them in horror.

'Monty, focus! They still need your help!' Abby demanded and Monty quickly snapped out of his revere and turned back to the monitors.

Abby continued on adminstering compressions as Jasper blew into her mouth. It was two long minutes before Miller shouted with relief that there was a pulse and Abby stopped.

'What the hell is going on in there?' Abby whispered.

'Nobody said trying to save the world was easy.' Murphy called over, as both his hands were at Clarke and Lexa's necks to feel their pulse.

'It might be easier for them now.' Monty said. 'I've managed to track a lot of the activity. From what I can tell, Clarke and Lexa are making their way to the final control panel to connect with Raven and Wick. There's some huge battle going on at that base.'

The battle must have been how Octavia had taken such a turn, Abby presumed. The idea of Clarke with Lexa was unsurprising but just as concerning as she had expected it to be. Lexa had left her daughter once for dead. Lexa had also played a hand in Clarke's decision to allow the Mountain Men to bomb TonDC. Whenever those two were together, somebody got hurt and more often than not that included Clarke.

'Great, so there's a war raging exactly where the base we need is?' Miller asked cynically. 'Terrific.'

'It's not all bad.' Monty reassured him. 'It means Lexa and Clarke have the attention off them for now and Raven and Wick have managed to keep the fighters away from them so far.'

'So how are you helping?' Murphy asked quickly.

'I've managed to modify some components in the City of Light to provide them with weapons but the cool thing is that the defences can be tracked. There's zones which focus on activity, a bit like how infrared cameras work. They keep being triggered so I've managed to turn the City's communications and channel that data to the base to show Wick and Raven what Clarke and Lexa are doing. As they move through the city, they'll be able to see what points Clarke and Lexa are at.' Monty explained. 'Raven and Wick might not be able to utilise it to help Clarke and Lexa directly, but it does mean they'll be able to plan how much time they need and give them an idea of what they're working with.'

Relief bubbled in Abby slightly at the thought that at least Clarke was not totally alone. Raven had always been loyal to Clarke. She would watch out for her.

'If they're getting close to the end then why is outside still a mess?' Jasper asked quietly.

The storm had not lessened. There had been brief respites but it had quickly resumed in its monstrous intent to destroy life as they all knew it. They could still now hear the screams from medical of the latest patient Jackson was monitoring. She had been the only one of her group to make it to Arkadia and she was begging for Jackson to end her suffering.

'Raven and Wick probably haven't been able to shut the nearest plant down yet. These control panels are few in number but they give access to dozens, maybe even more, of nuclear plants. Shutting down one means shutting down multiple plants but they could be anywhere in the world.'

'But they're getting close to the end?' Abby asked desperately.

'Yes.' Monty promised her earnestly.

'Doesn't mean we're saved.' Jasper said, darkly. 'Look at the mess. The ground has been ruined again, people are dying. It won't be the same even if they get this done.'

'It's better than being dead.' Murphy replied, still feeling Clarke and Lexa's necks.

* * *

 

Clarke and Lexa headed to the elevator, but unlike Polis the wheel was moving on its own. Clarke glanced at it warily.

'I don't think we came this far to die in an elevator.' Lexa said.

'I don't share your faith.' Clarke said uncertainly but Lexa entered the elavator and Clarke, begrudgingly, had little choice but to follow her in.

The elevator shuddered as it rose slowly through the floors.

'Are you okay?' Clarke asked, softly tracing her fingers over Lexa's cheek.

'I'm okay.' Lexa promised and Clarke smiled delicately and dropped her hand.

'When this is over all of our friends will be gone again, right?' Clarke whispered.

'They will be gone from this place.' Lexa admitted. 'But you face the same choice now as you did months ago: is love worth the pain, Clarke?'

Lexa's green eyes searched her own blue eyes imploring for Clarke to not be lost to memories. Clarke knew that Lexa would always remain stoic, no matter what was thrown at her. She was thrilled and relieved when Lexa had shown little interest in pursuing the memory of Costia. Clarke felt that her bond with Lexa was the only thing that had kept her alive and yet doubts had still lingered over the depth of Lexa's feelings after what happened in the Mountain. She was used to being betrayed. Her own mother looked at her as though she was a monster, Bellamy had turned his back on her, Finn had lied to her about Raven, Wells had lied too and even though it was for her protection it had still resulted in her trust being shattered and further still when she realised the reason for his deception. Titus, Lexa's most trusted adviser, had been the one to almost kill her love. It was not Clarke's own personal fears; she was well aware that everyone lied to get what they wanted and it meant that she was in a constant state of waiting for something else to go wrong. Lexa was the one good thing she had been able to hold onto but Clarke felt as though she was sore with the thousand cuts and traumas the Earth and the Ark had given her. She expected pain and when Lexa was the one most dearest to her it meant inevitably her fears were still obsessive over the paranoia that Lexa would somehow and some way be lost to her.

She had her friends here, she had Lexa here and so they could stay content forever but of course, that was not possible. If the nuclear radiation continued then Arkadia would be destroyed. It was unlikely the Flame and mini Flame would both survive even within the protection of hers and Lexa's bodies. If they succeded, then she would have to say goodbye to her friends once more. Her love was her strength. It was why so many people would fight for her still, even though some had been long lost but the defences were strong because having to face the inevitable grief that came with love was enough to terrify Clarke.  Her fragmented thoughts were broken swiftly when she felt Lexa's hand in hers.

Defiance rose in Clarke's heart. It had always been worth it and she had always known it.

'Good,' Lexa replied at Clarke's smile, 'then let us have done with this and once more bring peace to our people.'

Clarke didn't know if she and Lexa would be able to make it back to the final battle nor how long Raven and Wick would need to get to work after they had activated the control panel. She might not see Wells, Finn, Lincoln or Bellamy again. She even wanted to say goodbye to Anya but knowing that they were there fighting together made tears rise to her eyes out of pride and admiration. They had finally achieved unity and it had only taken death and the threat of the end of the world. Their faces burned in her mind as she whispered a quiet prayer she couldn't remember even learning but that was such a part of her the words were etched upon her soul.

'In peace may you leave the shore, in love may you find the next. Safe passage until our final journey to the ground. May we meet again.'

'May we meet again.' Lexa said softly, still holding Clarke's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the chapter title for anyone who doesn't know is 'may we meet again' in trigedasleng. 
> 
> I do have a plan for what would be s5 (at least to my mind) but I'm not sure if you guys would prefer it in a new fic? I'm just aware this is getting very long chapter wise. That said, I'm kind of lazy so I totally get it if you just want me to keep updating this one as I get annoyed when I have new fics to open :P 
> 
> Also, sorry I've bombarded you with chapters today. I'm quite far ahead though with what I've written so I thought I may as well post some already completed chapters. Hopefully you're all hanging in there with the CoL stuff as I'm aware it was not everyone's cup of tea on the main show let alone a fic. :)


	48. The Ties That Bind

 Wick ran to the door and kicked the furniture out the way before unlocking it as Bellamy stumbled in with Octavia in his arms.

'What happened?' Raven said as Wick and Bellamy both set about rebuilding the barricade to the control room.

'Arrow.' Bellamy grunted. ' I got it out and her heart stopped for a few minutes but I got her back.'

'Where's Lincoln?' Wick asked quickly but Bellamy's look of horror told them everything.

'And Finn?' Raven asked, swallowing thickly.

'He's okay. He's still on the ground floor. We're holding them off pretty well but I had to get O out of there.'

Raven tore her gaze away from Octavia and focused back on the monitors trying to crack through the different defences and code that were blocking them from accessing the rest of the nuclear stations, minus the ones that Lexa and Clarke would be accessing.

Wick also returned to the monitor as Bellamy ripped his sleeve off and wrapped it tightly around Octavia's wound. Octavia immediately groaned at the pain but they all felt relief that she was conscious.

'What's that?' Bellamy asked, nodding to the screens. 'Is that Clarke and Lexa?'

'Yeah.' Wick answered. 'Monty did good. We're using the screens on the left to show the battle and the right ones are following Lexa and Clarke.'

'They're in the elevator of the tower.' Bellamy said, watching them.

Octavia spluttered and groaned again and Bellamy rushed straight back to her but she flinched at his touch.

'I'm fine.' Octavia said in a quiet voice.

'No, you're not, O.' Bellamy responded firmly.

'I will be.' Octavia snapped. 'You should be out there fighting.'

'I needed to know you were okay.' Bellamy told her and Octavia released a scathing laugh but Raven snapped at the pair of them.

'Both of you shut up and let me and Wick work or I'll throw your asses right back out the door.'

Octavia hissed in pain but looked away from Raven, which Raven took as a sign that she would comply with her request for peace. The last thing she needed was the Blake siblings arguing.

'Wait, who is that?' Bellamy asked and Raven and Wick both turned to the screens.

Clarke and Lexa were in the throne room now of Polis. Where the throne should have stood there now was the control panel but there was a man standing at the door. Raven watched as both women finally acknowledged him as Clarke had been so consumed by the sight of the control panel and the task at hand. Clarke stepped back slightly and Raven thought she saw a trace of bewilderment on Clarke's face but it was hard to discern from that angle.

'That's my old boss.' Wick said, in shock. 'Jake Griffin.'

* * *

 

The elevator grumbled to a halt and the doors swung open.

'The throne room?' Clarke muttered quietly and Lexa nodded.

Lexa slowly drew her blades out and Clarke had to admit that her fear had returned stronger than ever. It was as completely silent in the tower, which was exactly how Polis should not be. Clarke was used to the Nightbloods training, Titus barging around the place and guards muttering her name. After everything that had happened with ALIE and Ontari Polis quickly returned back to its noisey life. Murphy was always commenting drily, Emori danced through the tower as though she was on a vacation and the ambassadors always demanded Lexa's time who gave them little in return, preferring to stay with Clarke. The silence was so unnatural and seemed to permeate through Clarke's soul.

Their footsteps echoed along the corridor and Lexa opened the door of the throne room, shielding Clarke from any defence ready and postured as if about to do battle with any giant they may face. The room, however, was empty. Clarke looked around again unsurely as though someone might be hiding but there was nowhere they could be waiting.

They stepped further into the room with candles flickering to offer the only light. As they stepped closer, Clarke saw that the throne had been replaced by a dark monitor and she instantly ran to it. As soon as she pressed it, a white glow emitted from the panel, bathing her and Lexa in light.

'This is it.' Clarke breathed happily, and lost to the footsteps that had echoed down the corridor but Lexa quickly stepped in front of the monitor, shielding it and Clarke with her blades raised.

Clarke looked at to where Lexa was facing and stumbled backwards slightly.

'Hello, Clarke.'

Her father smiled brilliantly at her and Clarke's tears began to fall immediately.

Of all the people that could have been brought back she had never expected to see her dad again. The Ark felt like it was some other person's life. It was so distant to her. She'd been so consumed by everything that had happened on the ground but here he was, standing in front of her. The last time he had smiled at her it had been out of reassurance for he was about to die but now he looked at her full of joy and hope.

'Dad?' Clarke asked and she walked around the monitor but Lexa held her back and Clarke tugged at her slightly, confused but Lexa's grip remained firm and she shook her head in warning.

Clarke stopped struggling as she saw the urgent worry in Lexa's eyes and took a step back slightly, her eyes narrowed. He looked exactly as she remembered him, except that his watch was now upon Lexa's wrist.

'How?' Clarke choked out and her dad smiled again at her, full of affection and warmth.

'The same way your friends are here, of course. We're all a part of you.' Jake replied, taking a step closer and Clarke noticed Lexa raise her swords slightly.

Clarke wanted to run to him and hug him again, as tightly and desperately as she had when she had last saw him before his execution. She wanted to say sorry a thousand times, not just for his death but all that she had done and for all that she had become but she swallowed back her tears and moved closer to Lexa.

'Why are you here?' Clarke asked, and she forced an edge to her voice.

Jake took another step forward and continued to smile lovingly but his step was matched by Lexa's and Clarke was being shielded by her once more.

'To help you, Clarke.' Jake replied smoothly as though it was the most obvious thing in the world but Clarke still felt the tension wracking Lexa's body.

'Help me with what?' Clarke asked.

'Saving yourself.' Jake answered and Clarke tilted her head, searching for answers but Jake eyed Lexa's blades and did not step forward this time and Clarke continued to wait for him to speak. 'Clarke, you've come so far. I'm so proud of you, honey. I know how much you've had to do that you've hated. You feel tainted but you're not. I understand everything, but now is your chance to make things right once and for all.'

'What do you mean?' Clarke asked suspiciously.

'You don't have to have blood on your hands this time.'

Clarke took in a sharp breath.

'What do you mean?' Clarke repeated sharply.

'Clarke, your friends are all here. You've been given a second chance. All of the people you've missed: they are right here, sweetheart.' Jake told her earnestly, his eyes glistening. 'You don't have to go through that pain of loss again. You don't need to kill them again.'

'They are not living.' Lexa hissed, and Clarke saw her hands grip her swords ever tighter. 'They are memories, nothing more.'

Jake ignored Lexa and continued to gaze pleadingly at his daughter.

'You can decide your fate, Clarke. You don't have to keep running. You can finally just be with your loved ones. I know you have the strength to do it, to finally have everything you want.'

If they did not finish the threat of the plants then the life now would remain. Everyone that had been activated by the defences and the Flame would still remain. Clarke could finally choose not to fight; she could finally choose peace in this place.

Clarke took in her father's genial and reassuring smile. He had always been so proud of her.

Clarke softly stroked Lexa's back to soothe her and Lexa slowly dropped her swords, looking heart broken at Clarke but she shook her head at Lexa and stepped forward to her father. She couldn't bear to look at Lexa's disappointment. Lexa always respect every choice she made.

'Dad...' Clarke choked out and she ran into his arms as he held her tight and stroked her hair.

Clarke breathed in the scent of his aftershave as his strong arms held her closely. He was exactly how she remembered him. He always hugged her as though trying to shield her from anything the galaxy could throw at them on that damn Ark.

He knew everything. He knew about what her mother had done, about all that she had done to try to survive and all of the things that she was disgusted by. He even would know that she had been glad on his death as she lived on Earth just so that it meant that she did not have to look into his eyes and see the same disdain her mother looked at her with. He was here and he had told her how to fix everything. He always had a plan. He always had the best intentions to save everyone. She had always been like him, her mother had said so right before she was sent to the ground.

'It's going to be okay, honey.' He promised her.

Clarke released a sob before she stumbled back from her father's arms, her dagger dripping blood onto the floor. Lexa rushed forward as Jake tried to lunge at Clarke but he fell to the floor. Clarke felt Lexa move her back to the control panel as her father's breathing grew steadily more shallow, until he finally lay still upon the floor.


	49. The Truth of Us

'Don't just stand there staring!' Bellamy shouted at Raven and Wick. 'Get back to work!'

'They did it. They connected.' Wick said, under his breath and Bellamy nodded.

Octavia stared at the screens as she watched Lexa and Clarke hurry back out of Polis, leaving Jake Griffin's body in a pool of his own blood. She glanced at Bellamy but of course he did not stare any differently at her; this was Clarke's memory and he only knew what Clarke knew -and Clarke knew nothing.

'She killed her father...' Octavia whispered but she was startled by Raven's snarl.

'It was a memory and a distorted one at that. I warned Clarke of the consequences of trying to use her memories and clearly we did not carry it out smoothly. That was not her father.' Raven shot at her. 'He was not living. She did it to protect us, again.'

Raven placed an acidic emphasis on the last word. Octavia nodded and Raven turned back to the monitor. She continued to watch as the pair of them fled through the streets of the City of Light, rushing back to the museum.

'Maybe it doesn't matter.' Octavia offered quietly. 'What we were. Our lives on the Ark. Even our own families. It doesn't matter now.'

She turned away from Bellamy as he looked indignantly at her.

'This is who we are now. Monty was right, we're the hundred. Your mother was useless, Raven.' Octavia quelled her with a look when Raven made to protest. 'I like Abby but it's not as though she was someone Clarke could ever count on. Her father is dead. My mother is dead. My father is...dead.'

Octavia swallowed back and turned away from the screens to face Raven.

'Our bond is now. Our families are gone.' Octavia said and Raven nodded.

'O, I'm still here.' Bellamy told her desperately.

'But you're not and I'm glad that you're not. What the hell does that make me?' Octavia turned to him, crying earnestly. 'I thought I'd be glad to see you. I missed you so much but I still can't forgive you. I'm better off without you. You needed to control everything, to be in charge. I don't need that kind of family.'

Bellamy stepped back furiously shaking his head and wiping his eyes.

'This is what we've got now.' Octavia said finally. 'I was so caught up in everything that happened. My father wanting nothing to do with me when he had his family already,the Ark making me live under the floor my whole life and my mother dying because I was born. I thought Earth was a chance to be free but it wasn't when that pain was all I thought of. I was still haunted by it but I can't be now because this is about survival. Clarke was right, all along. This is what we've got and we just have to live with it.'

* * *

 

Clarke fumbled over the control panel and waited for the connection to work. Within seconds they were linked with the museum. She threw one last look at her father.

'We should go.' Clarke said, her throat constricting and Lexa took her hand and led her through the tower.

They ran through the streets hand in hand and Clarke could think of little but her father's shocked face when he fell to the ground. Lexa would have done it for her. If she had only given some sign then Lexa would have done anything that Clarke had asked but Clarke couldn't let her. If she had watched Lexa murder her father she would never have been able to erase it from her memory. She spared Lexa from her rage and grief.

Lexa would do anything to protect Clarke, even at her own detriment so Clarke had to protect Lexa from her own sense of love. Clarke could live with it. She had lived with killing Finn. She could at least survive it but she remembered Lexa's words that she would be haunted to the end of her days. It had shocked Lexa then because Costia had been murdered by Nia and Lexa could not imagine having to do what Clarke had done. Lexa was her inspiration. Lexa still believed in what was good. She was ruthlessly pragmatic but she was also tied to a wondrous sense of optimism and faith. Clarke didn't want to do that to her. She didn't want to force Lexa into that situation and bear that responsibility. Lexa had given enough. As Lexa had stood so protectively, Clarke had known what had mattered. She made the choice she had to make. It was what she alone was supposed to do.

Clarke followed Lexa as she dove into a side alley but she nearly collided into her when Lexa halted. Lexa quickly grabbed Clarke to steady her.

'We need to keep going.' Clarke panted slightly, knowing what was coming but hoping to put off the inevitable conversation.

'Clarke-'

'I'm fine, Lexa. Our friends need us.' Clarke pleaded with her to understand and she could see the torment Lexa was in.

Lexa would know that Clarke rushing to battle right now wasn't the best plan but they were out of options, and they were out of time. Clarke was surprised when Lexa sighed in defeat but leaned closer to press a tender kiss to her forehead before pulling back and cupping her face.

'We'll get through this.' Lexa vowed.

* * *

 

'Woah.' Murphy said in alarm. 'Their pulses are racing.'

Abby swiftly moved to her daughter and Lexa and checked them. Their blood pressure was fine but their heart rates were elevated. They were still deep within the City of Light and there was little Abby could do right now unless their condition deteriorated. Octavia's turn for the worse had unnerved them all. She had been brought back but it was a sharp reminder of the dangers they were facing in the city. Frustration beat through Abby's heart that her daughter was so close and yet she could do nothing. This was worse than last time.

Jasper came back in, starrtling them all and he looked weary.

'How is that girl doing?' Abby asked.

Jasper had told her about a woman that had asked specifically about Clarke and who had helped them against ALIE. It had taken Abby aback to hear something of Clarke's time away from Arkadia. She had imagined all sorts of scenarios but Clarke becoming part of Trikru and forging connections was not something she had considered.

'She's better. She's managed to rest a bit. Jackson isn't as worried about infection and the burns don't seem as severe as he first feared.' Jasper yawned.

'Good.' Abby said. 'I'll check in on her once they're back.'

'How long is it going to be?' Jasper sighed.

'Not long. Raven is working on the last base from what I can see.' Monty said and Abby smiled for the first time in days.

'It's about time. It's almost been a week.' Jasper muttered.

'Not for them.' Monty replied. 'Time is different for them now.'

'How so?'

'I think the defences triggered distorted their concept of time.' Monty replied. 'I was worried it was our fiddling with the chip, and I'm sure that diverting power from the Flame to all the other chips probably had a slight effect but now I think it's primarily the defences. They were well prepared.'

So much had changed in the last few days. The remaining Trikru survivors had told of the absolute chaos and disarray as most villages were unprepared and had little shelter. Abby didn't have any idea of what the other clans were going through but if the mutterings were anything like those that were held in the walls of Arkadia then Lexa was likely facing a rebellion for not warning her people of this threat. Abby wondered if Clarke had even the faintest idea of what she was heading back to.

* * *

 

'Any more from Trikru?' Indra asked Kane as they walked through the corridors.

The guard were still monitoring the situation closely but the atmosphere at Arkadia had eased if only because people were too exhausted to keep fighting against them.

'No, and none from the other clans.' Kane said.

'It would be too far for them to travel.' Indra said. 'I think the only clan certain to have survived relatively unscathed is Floukru.'

'I wouldn't be so sure.' Kane replied miserably. 'The storm was bad here but out on the coast it could be far worse.'

Kane was sure that those who had fled Arkadia were either dead or wishing they were. Those who had came into their settlement begging for help were in a terrible state. The stench of burning flesh had somehow clung to all of the halls.

'What will you do once this is over?' Kane asked Indra quietly.

'I'll have to return to Trikru. Octavia may come, if she wishes, but my people will need help.' Indra told him gravely. 'Lexa did not wish for me to carry on in my position as leader of Trikru. I was a burden in Polis but perhaps I should not have so swiftly left my charge.'

'You didn't know this was going to happen.' Kane said to console her while his own guilt rose. 'Even if you did, there was nothing you could do.'

'I could have tried something.' Indra replied angrily.

'Perhaps.' Kane sighed. 'But we'd still be waiting for Lexa to finish this.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. There's just going to be one more chapter left covering the CoL. That should be up tomorrow. Got any ideas for what lies ahead post CoL? Have you had any highlights so far or plots you didn't really agree with? I'm not JRoth- I love feedback ;) Thanks as always for kudos, comments and sticking with this story at all.


	50. For Those We've Lost and Those We'll Soon Find

Clarke and Lexa hurtled at full pelt back to the museum. People were fighting for their lives out onto the street. The museum looked a mess. Every window had been shattered, glass sparkled upon the pavement and blood was running down the street.

A horn sounded loudly when they saw that Lexa had arrived and the Skaikru and Trikru warriors cried out in delight. Clarke could tell that immediately they fought with renewed vigour at having their leader returned to them after a successful mission. Lexa truly inspired her people.

The warriors focus was quickly returned to their prey. Costia was battling furiously with Nia but Roan tackled his mother from behind and Costia delivered the final blow with her spear. All around people were fighting wrathfully. Clarke felt that it was as much about honour now as it was about saving the world. It was for Lexa, it was to finally slay the Mountain Men themselves and to prove their own strength after their own demise.

Lexa ran to join the fight in the street and she took down a warrior headed for Anya with her blades.

Anya laughed confidentally as she saw who had joined her and together her and Lexa fought with unshakable skill. Their backs formed a wall to Clarke and she understood the intent of Lexa's desire to protect her.

Clarke, however, wanted to fight. She wanted to help all those who she loved and join Lexa in this battle. She had been proud to face this threat with Lexa by her side, just as she had been with all of the other challenges they had faced. They were in this together.

She pulled out her dagger and bit back the bile that rose as she saw the blood of her father that had dried upon it. Clarke spun around as she heard a spluttering behind her and Clarke gasped as she saw Ontari pinning Finn to the floor and choking the life out of him.

'Finn!' Clarke screamed and Lexa spared a glance behind her to see what had drawn Clarke's cries.

Clarke made to rush forward but a body pushed her back and Ontari was kicked off Finn. Her face was struck repeatedly with the tail end of a spear and she rolled into the street and away from the fight, howling in pain.

'I told you I swore to protect Skaikru.' Aden told Clarke proudly.

Clarke ran forward and seized him in a grateful embrace, overwhelmed. She had missed her young companion that had revealed such a different side to Lexa. Her guilt at Aden's death had clung to her more than anyone else's and yet she had been scared to admit it for they had barely known each other. Aden was Lexa's favourite and protege and Clarke was overjoyed at being able to see him again. He had been so honoured to serve Lexa and unwaveringly earnest in his intent to serve his people, including those of Skaikru.

'Thank you.' Clarke smiled, tears falling and Aden nodded proudly.

Ontari stood up shakily and reached for a fallen spear, standing threateningly with her eyes hungrily fixed on Clarke. Lexa stabbed the warrior she was fighting in the neck and then launched herself in front of Clarke and Aden with her back shielding Clarke once more.

'You did well, Aden.' Lexa told him proudly, turning her head slightly. 'But she is mine.'

Ontari moved a few steps forward, dragging her spear lazily along the floor but with a sickening smirk upon her face. She stopped and spun the spear as though it was a toy before gripping it in both hands and fixing Lexa with that same menancing gaze.

'Good, I wanted to kill you myself.' Ontari sneered.

'And yet, like a coward, you waited until some else tried to weaken me before taking control of Polis. You did not dare confront me.' Lexa replied coolly.

'I dare!' Ontari hissed. 'You murderous, bitch! You killed Nia! You humiliated Azgeda at every turn! The people deserved me as Heda!'

'Then come and claim the title the rightful way.' Lexa challenged and Clarke was sure Lexa was smirking.

 Ontari charged at Lexa but Lexa rammed her shoulder into Ontari, sending her backwards again. Clarke made to move forwards but firm hands clenched around her waist.

'She's got this.' Wells promised in her ear but Clarke watched on fearfully.

'Heda will win.' Aden chimed confidentally. 'Heda!'

Aden threw his spear and Lexa caught it with one hand and placed her blades away again. She smiled her thanks at him before turning to Ontari once more. They threw themselves at each other in unison. The spears released a sickening thud every time they hit each other and Ontari fought so much more aggressively than Roan had against Lexa, as though she couldn't wait a second longer to finally be the one to finish the Commander from Trikru.

Lexa moved with ease and grace while Ontari seemed a ragged mess. Despite the fact that Lexa was making little moves to attack and was focused upon blocking Ontari, Lexa continued to push forward and it was Ontari who was forced backwards down the street.

Clarke's only focus was the fight. The dagger dangled loosely in her hand but a sudden scream caused her to turn. Anya dove into the air and slammed her blade down upon the arm of a Mountain Man who had thrown himself to get to Clarke. His arm rolled down the street and he lay screaming upon the pavement. Clarke called her thanks to Anya but Anya simply nodded in the direction of Lexa; she was serving her commander.

A wave of attackers were forced back out of the museum by Bellamy, Monroe and Stirling and they almost barged into Clarke and her friends. Bellamy rapidly reassured her they could handle this and she should follow Lexa . Clarke tore out of the group at speed, running to the duel.

The group behind her now battled angrily. The clashses of metal rang through the city. Lexa was still driving Ontari backwards, they were intent upon each other. One of the enemy ran to them but as Clarke was about to charge a knife hit him in the heart and he crumpled.

'Charlotte!' Clarke gasped.

Titus then surged at the fallen man, and grabbed the knife and plunged it into him venomnously to ensure that he was dead. Charlotte looked on in awe.

'We can win this, Clarke!' She called happily but a new fighter knocked her to the ground and an enormous roar behind was heard.

'Get off her, Mountain scum!' Gustus shouted, picking the man up by his shirt and throwing him down the street.

Clarke didn't have time to check on Charlotte but she hoped she would be safe under the protection of Gustus. Few would stand any chance against such an enormous man. He had been entrusted with Lexa's life after all. His only downfall was not his ability in a fight but his lack of judgement against Skaikru.

Ontari's arrogant laugh made her shiver where she stood and she looked down to where Ontari and Lexa were squaring up to each other.

'Is this the best that Trikru can offer?' Ontari jeered.

Lexa continued to stand firm. Ontari's hair stuck to her face and she shook her head to throw it out of her eyes. The glint in her eyes was still there but she looked far less composed than Lexa. Lexa's breathing barely quickened but Ontari was panting heavily.

'You have already lost, Ontari. You can never be Heda.' Lexa stated in a bored voice.

'I was Heda.' Ontari snarled proudly. 'While you ran to save your own neck.'

'I protected the Flame from you. That was what being Heda called for.' Lexa retorted icily.

Lexa had longed to return to Polis to face Ontari herself. Clarke had urged her to recover and allow them to come up with a plan. Lexa had hated Ontari being allowed such control and to act as though she was Heda.

'Poor Lexa. You lost Costia, you humiliated Trikru so that even the great Indra left you. Your people preferred me as Heda.'

Lexa's stance remained impassive, but ready to strike if Ontari dared move towards her.

'Murphy was mine.' Ontari cooed. 'I'm sure the great Wanheda would rather serve this Heda too.'

Lexa surged forwards in anger and Clarke screamed Lexa's name in warning, sure she had done exactly as Ontari wanted. Ontari shoved her spear forward but Lexa reacted much more quickly and met its blade with the tip of her own spear and swung it to Ontari's left. Ontari just managed to remain her hold of it but Lexa's strength could not be matched. Lexa guided the spear in a massive circle in the air, ramming her own down until it met Ontari's wrists and she was forced to drop her weapon. Ontari whimpered in pain at her wrists. Lexa rammed her spear under Ontari's legs so she fell onto her back and Lexa kicked the fallen spear out of her reach.

Lexa twirled her spear exactly as she had done as she had approached Roan during their bout and Clarke watched, stunned.

'Blood must not have blood.' Ontari mocked her but Lexa did not flinch.

 Lexa looked at Clarke with a smirk before turning back to Ontari.

'I will always protect your blood.' Lexa whispered in reply, plunging the spear through Ontari's chest.

* * *

 

'Wick, hurry up!' Raven shouted across at him.

'I'd like to see you do better.' Wick snapped.

'I already have broken through the code. I've only got the final systems to get through.'

'Shit!' Wick hissed in frustration, his gaze fixed upon the monitor.

'We can do this.' Raven urged.

Wick glanced at the screens that showed the battle raging below them but without even looking up Raven shouted at him.

'Don't get distracted! They're doing what they can so we can fix this!'

'I know, it's just-'

'It doesn't matter, Wick! It doesn't matter how scared we are or that our friends might be dying out there. We have to get this done or they're dead anyway.' Raven beseeched him.

Wick turned back to the monitor muttering a string of curses. They worked as rapidly as they could and Raven was sure that if they were to die today nobody could say they didn't give it everything they had.

Raven's eyes snapped to Wick when he let out a cheer and jumped in the air waving his fist.

'Yes!' Wick cried and he pressed once on the monitor and suddenly Raven's station lit up more brightly and a connection alert was coming through.

Raven's hands shook slightly as she clicked to establish the connection and went in the main systems. Wick came by her side and stared at the monitor.

'This will work, Raven.' He promised and Raven wondered who he was trying to convince more.

Raven glanced at the screens which now only showed the battle since Lexa and Clarke had returned. They could hear shouting from outside but Octavia was waiting facing the door and with her blade in hand. No one as yet had tried to break through.

'You've got this.' Octavia said finally.

Raven exhaled loudly before turning to the monitor.

'Here we go.' She sang slightly and full of apprehension.

* * *

 

Clarke laughed in relief as Lexa stepped back from Ontari's body. Lexa gripped the spear and threw it through the air and it impaled the nearest warrior but with such force it continued on its path and struck through the gut of another. Lexa pulled out her blades again and Clarke finally caught up to her.

Clarke was stunned and didn't know what to say. She laughed again nervously and disbelieving and planted a swift kiss on Lexa's cheek. Lexa beamed at her before they faced back down the street. Finn and Bellamy were leading Aden, Monroe, Stirling and Wells in the attack but they had taken all but one remaining fighter down and when she saw the group facing her, she ran back down the street. Clarke could hear Bellamy's laughing even from that distance.

Clarke and Lexa shared one amused look before turning to run back up the street. They made it only two steps before stepping back shakily as the ground beneath them rocked slightly.

The City of Light was basked in a white glow instantly. It was the same light that had guided them earlier but now it blanketed almost the entire city. Clarke felt it begin to engulf her entire being. Her eyes stung and Clarke shielded her vision with her hands. The sounds of war had stopped and now people were gasping or shouting in confusion but the noise quickly evaporated. The fighters around her; Mountain Men, ALIE followerers, Skaikru and Trikru began to vanish one by one with a blink.

'No...' Clarke breathed quietly but Clarke felt Lexa pull her into her protectively.

The intensity of the light continued to burn and Clarke gasped in pain as her head seared and eyes burned. She couldn't make out the museum as the light shielded it as cleverly as if there was a thick fog. Clarke could make out nothing. She could not see or smell, the only thing she could hear was Lexa softly calling her name.

* * *

 

Abby was resting on a chair, her head in her hand but she could not sleep. Murphy had not left Clarke or Lexa's side and Miller was pacing the room, exhausted. Brian had brought them all food and drink but it had gone relatively untouched. There was silence except for Monty working.

'Holy hell.' Monty breathed, sitting back from the monitors and staring at them agape.

'What is it?' Abby croaked but Raven gasped and lunged forward in her bed.

Abby dove to Raven's side as Raven panted for air.

'Raven, honey, it's okay.' Abby reassured her.

Raven looked around confused and dazed.

'Finn?' Raven asked hopelessly but Abby shook her head, terrified at the question.

Raven let out a blood curdling scream and jumped up, kicking her bed. Raven held her hands in her head and Abby pulled her into a hug.

'It's okay. It'll be okay.' Abby whispered.

Abby didn't understand why Raven would possibly ask about Finn. He'd been dead for so long now. There was no coming back from death. Taking the chip must have been too dangerous. Perhaps it had altered their minds. Raven had run so many tests but Abby had never wanted any of them, especially Clarke, to take this path. It had been dangerous technology before and on top of that they had to put their faith in experiments -and Lexa.

Wick jumped awake as dramatically as Raven. He blinked rapidly and Abby could see he was momentarily disorientated.

'You did it.' Monty cried happily, and he ran to hug his old friend.

Wick patted his back in shock.

'Yeah, we did it...' Wick said, as though he himself could not believe it.

Raven pulled herself free from Abby and moved to Wick.

'Are you okay?' She asked him.

'Yeah,' He replied quietly and unsurely, 'you?'

'I guess so.' Raven tried to smile.

'The sky! The sky has cleared!' Someone from inside Arkadia shouted and they all heard as footsteps ran outside.

Octavia drew their focus back as she groaned. She rolled over in her bed and her arm went to her shoulder before she sat up.

'Glad that doesn't hurt anymore at least.' Octavia muttered.

Raven and Wick laughed softly at the comment but everyone else looked bewildered.

Abby watched the last two who had not returned. Clarke and Lexa remained still. Everyone else then turned to them.

'Just give them a minute.' Octavia reassured Abby.

The silence stretched thin around them, trying desperately to constrict them all in their fading hope. People continued to rush through the corridors of Arkadia and Kane and Indra burst into the room. They toook in Raven, Wick and Octavia. Indra gave Octavia a concerned look but she just nodded at her mentor to signal that she was okay. Kane and Indra then looked down to the remaining two in worry.

'Please, Clarke...' Abby begged.

Kane moved forward and pressed a kiss to Abby forehead as they waited.

Murphy remained lodged between the two and continued to feel their beating pulses.

Slowly, Lexa opened her eyes and so did Clarke. Their hands remained grasping each other. The room burst out into exclamations of relief and Murphy ran his hands through his hair, laughing. Abby stepped forward but neither Clarke nor Lexa moved and Abby couldn't understand why there was so much agony in Clarke's eyes once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was meant to be the season finale (at least to my weird mind). I will be continuing with this fic as I just think it'll be a lot easier for everyone if I carry this story on here. 
> 
> Hopefully you all managed to survive the CoL stuff. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but hopefully it wasn't too painful for you all and yay, Aden! 
> 
> I know a lot of the last chapter was focused on Lexa and her battle with Ontari but ever since season 3 I wanted those two to have some sort of showdown. It just felt right. Plus, I think Lexa and Clarke work so well together because they can lead at different times. Clarke can take the lead more with the technology side and understanding Skaikru culture whereas Lexa is a lot more diplomatic and tactical and an absolutely outstanding warrior. I like exploring those sides to both of the characters. I don't think Clarke needs to be the one to fix everything all the time. Since the very beginning, she wouldn't have gotten far if it was just her anyway because look at how often Skaikru have needed Raven's genius to save them. 
> 
> Potential spoiler alert so read at your peril:   
> I also want to reiterate my promise of no dead lesbians in this fic. A few of the characters will have dark periods in the next fic but I promise there is no predictable dead lesbian. Lexa is definitely safe.


	51. Time Heals Nothing

_'Chancellor.' Lexa greeted, without emotion._

_'Commander.'_

_Lexa did not miss the edge behind Abby's voice. Hate radiated off the woman and Lexa understood why but it held little interest for her. Kane greeted Lexa with a much more welcoming tone, if with a slightly hesitant._

_Skaikru had managed to tend to those who had been the most hurt by what had happened on the Mountain and had time to get their affairs in order. Lexa was certain that Abby's rage lay as much behind the breaking of the alliance as it did with Clarke's disappearance. To her, Lexa was responsible for Clarke's leaving._

_Lexa had heard nothing of Clarke. Roan had only just set about his task and so Lexa was not surprised. At least no news meant that she had not been captured by Azgeda._

_Lexa's brief return to Polis had gone unnoticed by Skaikru. Of course, word would have made its way among the clans but Abby was likely in the dark about Lexa's activities. The more confusion the better. She did not want anyone to know that Clarke's safety was a priority to her. It would only serve to put Clarke in greater danger._

_Lexa sat back in her chair. She was weary from the rushed journey back to the lands of Trikru but she could not let it show. She had to maintain the peace._

_'Skaikru have been allowed to collect supplies from the Mountain for the last six days but the Mountain again will now be considered stained territory. The Mountain has cast a shadow over these lands for far too long. The threat may have fallen but my people still associate it with evil. As a result of this, and the weapons that are held within those walls, any attempt to move into Mount Weather's premises will be seen as a act of aggression.' Lexa stated calmly and Abby glared at her._

_'We are not yours to command.' Abby said angrily._

_'We need to think about maintaining peace for both sides, Abby.' Kane interjected. 'We can't allow ourselves to fall into another war.'_

_'We defeated the Mountain. Their home belongs to us now.' Abby challenged._

_'Regardless of claims of ownership, the weaponry and defence they use will be seen as act of hostility if you try to take it for yourselves. I will have no choice but to initiate war before my people are killed once more by Skaikru.'_

_'We understand.' Kane said._

_'Kane-'_

_'We need to stop killing each other and find a way to live.' Kane urged and Abby exhaled loudly._

_'Fine.' Abby relented. 'Anything else?'_

_'You may be given time to establish your life here. In a few months there will be a summit where we can negotiate new terms so that we may coexist together.' Lexa said._

_'That is a good idea.' Kane agreed._

_'Where's Clarke?' Abby cut across._

_Lexa's eyes flicked to Abby dangerously._

_'I do not know.' Lexa replied in a steely voice._

_'Do you even care that she has gone?' Abby half shouted._

_Lexa's eyes never left Abby's but she sat up straighter in her throne as if ready to launch an attack if need be._

_'Clarke left Arkadia after she won your war. She was given the responsibility of leader by a Chancellor who had no power. If you are looking for answers to Clarke's leaving, perhaps turn to yourself first.' Lexa replied._

_'She left because of what you did to her!'_

_'While we are being candid, Chancellor, then may I ask whether this concern for your daughter will see you leave Arkadia yourself to go and seek her?' Lexa challenged. 'It would be a surprise after you turned away from Clarke in TonDC and let her ride off to war.'_

_'Abby,' Kane sighed in defeat, 'Clarke made her choice. She doesn't want to be here, for whatever reason. She's a smart girl. She's gotten this far. She'll be okay but she needs time.'_

_'She should be at home with me.' Abby said, her voice breaking._

_Lexa considered Abby for a moment. She had not forgotten how Abby had walked away from her daughter after the missile. Clarke had stood in utter shock and guilt at what had happened and Abby had wounded her further, after Clarke had risked her life to save her. Lexa had walked along the mountain with Clarke to find the spotter where she had witnessed Clarke's descent into spiraling grief and how it had begun to consume her. Abby had wanted no part in it. Few of her friends had. Clarke had been left alone._

_Lexa knew she should not have felt indignant rage at that fact for she had left Clarke too but she had severely miscalculated the impact of her decisions, believing Clarke would be forced to turn back to the safety of her people once the deal had been done._

_'Clarke is where she needs to be.' Lexa replied. 'If that is all then this meeting is over.'_

* * *

'They're back.' Murphy said, standing at the door and Lexa opened her eyes regretfully.

She slowly uncrossed her legs and rose as her boots made a soft thud on the stone floor. She left the comfort of her relatively new home and stepped out into the village of TonDC to see Octavia and Indra dismount their horses and head towards them.

'It's done.' Indra replied and Lexa nodded.

'We spared the child warriors.' Octavia informed her.

Lexa gave no response. Indra had wanted them all dead. The hatred for Azgeda raiders was brimming over into each village they had visited.

'They still chant "heda ste stedaunon".' Octavia told her gravely.

Murphy and Lexa exchanged a dark look.

'That is obviously not true. The Commander lives.' Murphy drawled.

'Titles matter not right now. The Coalition is still broken. The clans can barely keep track of the people entering and leaving their borders. The King of Azgeda is hiding in his mountain. He's too scared to even go to Polis for fear of attack yet his people burn the lands of Trikru as if they were theirs.' Lexa sighed.

'At least Clarke's safe for now. If they made any more attacks on transport runs Clarke would have murdered their whole camp herself.' Murphy muttered.

'They would have deserved it.' Octavia replied angrily.

But Clarke would not have, Lexa thought sadly.

* * *

 

There was a loud knock on the door and Kane broke the kiss with Abby and pressed his forehead against hers.

'This is why I hate being Chancellor.' He teased.

'Duty calls.' She smiled, planting him with a soft kiss before swinging the door open.

Miller eyed them smirking slightly before stepping in. Kane noticed and cleared his throat pointedly and Miller had the deceny to pretend to look serious.

'Hope I wasn't interrupting...'

'Go ahead, Miller.' Kane sighed.

'Right, so we followed up on the leads from Trikru. We found the raiders. Well, what was left of them.' Miller told them seriously.

'What happened?' Abby questioned.

'I don't know. We got to where they were staying but all their things had gone and the bodies had been burned.'

'Are you sure it was them?' Kane asked seriously.

'Yeah, we asked around at the local village and they said they heard screams and fighting in the middle of the night. Whoever it was had cleared off by dawn. The weapons left behind had carvings of the Ice Nation symbol and some furs were still there that hadn't been completely burned.' Miller replied.

'Thank you, Nathan.' Kane nodded his gratitude. 'You and Brian can take the rest of the day off.'

'Thanks, sir.' Nathan replied before heading out and closing the door to the Chancellor's quarters behind him.

Kane released a tense sigh before sitting on the bed. Abby paced the room for a moment before turning to him but he spoke first.

'At least the raiders are gone.' Kane tried to console.

'There were children with them, Marcus.' Abby reminded him.

'Child soldiers.' Kane emphasised. 'They had more than one person. These raiders have been terrorising us for three months.'

Abby shook her head and brushed her hair back roughly before dropping her hands at her side and looking at Kane in disbelief.

'Tell me you don't think it was her-'

'It could have been anyone, Abby.' Kane replied evenly. 'There were no reports that actually put her in the vicinity and those raiders have been causing trouble to everyone. They're a plague. Someone was bound to fight back.'

Kane rose to his feet and searched Abby's eyes, imploring her not to jump to conclusions.

The raiders had been a menace. The radiation impact had caused chaos across the lands of every single clan. Borders no longer held the same power and respect they once did and all out rebellions had been threatened against Arkadia for holding Lexa. The anger had been tumultuous. People had lost so many loved ones and they needed someone to blame.

Polis itself had been left in ruins. The activity of the city was such that when the storm hit around a a fifth of the population had initially been killed. It had only gotten worse in the days that followed as people were caught in the radiation either by trying to flee or by the fights that broke out when they demanded to know where the Commander was. With no way to communicate, they could not explain the situation and that Lexa was working to fix the nuclear threat. As Lexa and the others had fought to save everyone, everything had fallen apart.

'They stopped her resource runs twice.' Abby retorted.

'And Raven was the one who killed them to save Clarke. The second time they managed to get away with nobody hurt.'

'They threatened the clinic.'

'Then if it was her, she did what had to be done.' Kane replied.

'How can you say that?' Abby demanded, shocked.

'Because it's Clarke.'

'She is not the same!' Abby shouted but she cursed when there was another knock on the door.

'What now?' Abby sighed, exasperated as she opened the door to reveal Harper.

'They're here.' Harper told her, looking nervous and Kane knew she had heard Abby shouting.

'Perfect timing.' Abby sniped.

* * *

 

The gates opened slowly and Raven couldn't help the sense of unease every time she saw them. Arkadia had been her home and she was free on the ground. She'd hated the Ark but life at Arkadia had often meant going from conflict to conflict. As much as she enjoyed coming back, it always gave her a sense of foreboding.

As the gate stood still, Raven brought the car into Arkadia and through to the garage. She gently turned to her right and squeezed Clarke's arm.

'We're here.' She said apologetically.

Clarke immediately opened her eyes and sat up, looking around.

'Already?' Clarke asked.

'Sorry.' Raven whispered but Clarke shook her head.

'Let's get him inside.' Clarke said and Raven nodded.

They jumped out of the car and opened the door to the back seat. Jackson and Niylah ran to greet them with a stretcher and they pulled the unconscious Trikru warrior onto it as gently as they could. It was far from an easy task given the sheer size of him. They had needed the help of almost everyone at the clinic who had been able to assist just to get him in the car in the first place. It had been an even more difficult task given the fact that half is leg was missing.

'You amputated the leg?' Jackson asked Clarke.

'They'd already hacked it off. His friend found us and took us to him. I just tidied it up.' Clarke explained.

Jackson looked under the bandages and smiled.

'Good work.' He praised and Clarke helped Jackson carry him inside.

'Oh, say hi to Wick for me.' Clarke shouted back but with a wheeze yet nonetheless still teasing and Raven rolled her eyes.

Raven didn't miss the way Niylah watched Clarke leave.

'So...you still here?' Raven asked and Niylah finally turned to acknowledge Raven.

'After what Skaikru did for me, it felt right to stay and help where I could.' Niylah said sincerely.

'You didn't want to help us much before.' Raven reminded her.

'Your friend held a gun to me after he had already murdered my father.' Niylah responded.

Raven shuffled awkwardly on her feet for a second before looking back to Niylah.

'Fair point.' She shrugged.

She had to admit that she probably wouldn't have helped them either. Bellamy never did make life easy for them.

Niylah looked back to the doors almost wistfully.

'You know she's got someone, right?' Raven said but it was not unkindly.

Raven also was damn sure that Niylah was well aware of exactly who that someone was. It would be a brave or foolish person to take on Lexa.

'She chose not to be with Lexa.' Niylah countered quietly.

'No,' Raven replied, drawing the world out, 'she chose not to go with Lexa. Either way, she doesn't want anyone else.'

'I heard Rosar was travelling with Lexa now.'

Raven scrutinised Niylah but she detected no trace that she was seeking malicious gossip to use to her advantage, simply curiosity but Raven still grunted her reply.

'Following her around like a lost puppy, you mean.'

'Hey Reyes!' Wick beamed, walking into engineering and pulling Raven into a hug.

Raven couldn't stop the smile that invaded her face and Niylah nodded her goodbye to Raven over his shoulder and left them alone.

'So how you doing?' Wick asked when they pulled apart.

'I'm good, really.' She added when he continued to stare at her.

'And Clarke?'

'She's...Clarke.' Raven replied, shrugging and Wick laughed.

'Yeah, not really one way to describe that girl.' Wick conceded.

Raven didn't particularly know how to respond whenever anyone asked about Clarke. Monty regularly did on the radios and  Clarke would often spare him a few minutes to talk. She hadn't completely shut herself off but sadness lingered over her. Raven wished Clarke had just gone with Lexa instead of continuing to punish herself for deaths she had little control of. Clarke did what she needed to do, and Raven was grateful and proud to call her a friend. The City of Light had distorted so much for them all. Even Wick walked a little heavier. Seeing those memories and the grief played out in front of them had been crueler than they ever could have imagined and they had awoken to a world that was completely different to the one they had left.

'How about you?' Raven asked, although she knew he would not answer much about how he truly felt.

'Leading engineering now. Monty's like my second .' Wick informed her rather smugly and she rolled her eyes.

'Please, Monty will be the one running this damn place.'

 'Ouch.' Wick mocked. 'Play nice or you won't get your supplies.'

'I'd just kick your ass and take them anyway.' Raven said through a confident smile.

'Well, you better be quick about it because I heard mother Griffin wanted to speak to her pride and joy and that never lasts long...'

Raven groaned. Even she knew to stay well out of the way when those two were fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. So back for s5! I've left a few hints and clues of what's to come. There will be some Clexa moments coming up so don't worry. There's been a bit of a time leap too of a few months. There will be flashbacks covering basic details at certain points.
> 
> It's quite nice to be able to write a chapter outside of the CoL. I had a lot of fun bringing back some old characters but I also kind of missed the world of the ground. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with the story so far. I really appreciate all kudos and feedback. You guys all rock :)
> 
> Love and solidarity with my fellow Brits today if you're also looking at the country and are as shocked as I am by everything.


	52. Mothers and Daughters

'Nice room' Clarke commented stiffly as she stepped into the Chancellor's quarters and faced her mother.

Clarke stared at the picture on the wall behind her mother. It was a sketch that Clarke had created of the ground. It was focused upon the woods of Trikru against the backdrop of the night sky. Clarke bit back the retort that longed to escape. She had not left her sketches to her mother.

'What did you want to talk about?' Clarke forced politeness to her voice.

'Where were you last night?' Abby asked bluntly.

'Repairing that guy's leg.' Clarke responded, her brow furrowed.

'All night?'

'No,' Clarke replied, bewildered, 'I stitched him up, Raven and me brought him back to the clinic and made sure he was stabalised and then I went to bed.'

'Who was running the clinic then?' Abby asked.

'Jasper and Nyko.' Clarke replied, indignant.

Her mother wasn't even this bad when she was fifteen and stayed out all night on the Ark with Wells. She suspected she had an idea where her mother's line of questioning was leading, however.

'What's going on?' Clarke demanded.

'A group of Azgeda raiders were killed last night.' Abby told her. 'The ones that were terrorising the borders of Trikru and Skaikru.'

Clarke didn't even pretend to look surprised. She put aside the dread that threatened to engulf her. She would deal with that later. If Lexa had been hurt she would have known already. Her mother wouldn't have been able to hold it back and the news that Lexa had been hurt would have been so sought after that it could not possibly be kept a secret.

'There are no borders now.' Clarke retorted under her breath.

'There were children with them, Clarke.' Abby said heatedly.

'You think I killed them?' Clarke asked, outraged.

'It wouldn't be the first time.'

Clarke reeled, stepping back from her mother. Her hands trembled and she shook her head, trying to calm herself.

She was sick of coming back here. Every time with her mother it was something else. She knew she should have sent Jasper with Raven.

'I killed those children at Mount Weather to save you, remember?' Clarke spat.

'I don't think you even know why you do anything these days, Clarke.' Abby accused. 'You abandon your people again after they needed you.'

'They needed to blame someone.' Clarke snapped.

'I told you that we should have warned them about what we were facing!' Abby shouted, pained.

Clarke crossed her arms and a bitter smirk rose to her lips.

'But you didn't do anything, did you? Same as always. You let me do everything.' Clarke raged. 'Face it, Mom, you just aren't strong enough. You don't have what it takes to be of any use as a leader to your people. I'm the one they needed to protect them.'

'Is that what you call murdering that gang last night while they slept?' Abby shot.

'Azgeda deserved what they got.' Clarke retorted.

She knew nothing of that party of raiders except what a nightmare they had been. Clarke had lost count of the amount of people she had watched die because of Ice Nation. She had worked trying to save a severed leg for most of the night precisely because of them. She felt nothing for them.

Nervousness did flutter in her stomach at the precacious situation. She knew her mother would automatically jump to accusing Lexa if she believed that Clarke was not behind it. Lexa had known what a nuisance they had been. Lexa was working to protect Trikru and that same party had threatened her. Lexa would still do anything to protect her but it was imperative she kept a low profile. Ice Nation still wanted her blood. So did many from within all of the other clans. If she was directly implicated in this the price for her head would treble.

'When did you last see Lexa?' Abby asked.

Clarke glanced at her wearily. Her mother would always find a way to drag Lexa into every tired argument.

'I don't know. About three weeks ago I think.'

'You don't know exactly?' Abby questioned.

'No, why?' Clarke sighed exasperatedly.

'Maybe because you're losing track of both lives.' Abby replied. 'It must be difficult being here and there.'

'We're not doing this.' Clarke stated, barging her way out the door.

* * *

 

_Clarke watched from the window in her quarters as people ran around outside. It was wild and giddy. Some people were wrestling each other playfully but there was one man sat down in the middle of the grounds weeping hysterically and screaming at the sky._

_Clarke started when she heard the door close behind her._

_'You'll be safe here.' Abby promised her._

_'They're already demanding answers.' Clarke said flatly. 'It won't be long now.'_

_'Until what?' Abby questioned, drawing up alongside her._

_'Until they try to take them.' Clarke scoffed at her mother's ignorance. 'How are the others?'_

_'Octavia has been checked over. There's no sign of any damage to her shoulder. Raven and Wick are fine and have had the chips removed too. Your turn now.'_

_Clarke stepped away from her mother._

_'No.' She stated. 'I'm keeping it. It's powered by the Flame. Raven said it poses no danger. I spoke with Lexa and she agrees that it's my choice.'_

_'You spoke with Lexa?' Abby repeated skeptically._

_'Yes.'_

_'Clarke, you don't need it anymore.'_

_'Lexa rushed to take the Flame out to keep it from Ontari and it sent us on a black blood hunt across three different clans. It could come in useful.' Clarke shrugged. 'I don't care if you don't like it. It's my choice and I don't want to be rid of it.'_

_'You want to stay connected to the Flame or to Lexa?'_

_'Don't talk like you know anything about it.' Clarke seethed._

_'Then tell me what happened.'_

_'I went into the City of Light, ended up killing almost everyone I cared about but once again I saved the day. That's about it.' Clarke replied cuttingly._

_'They were already dead.' Abby whispered._

_'Yes, well, given that I was the one who killed most of them the first time around that isn't a great consolation.'_

_'You're going to leave again aren't you?' Abby asked in a quiet voice._

_'It's best for everyone.' Clarke replied, resigned._

_'With Lexa?'_

_'It's better for her too.' Clarke answered vaguely._


	53. Within a Flame

 Clarke sat on the wooden steps of the clinic, looking up at the stars.

'Don't tell me you miss it.' Raven said, knocking her shoulder.

'God, no.' Clarke muttered.

Raven handed her the bottle of Monty's moonshine. Clarke took a small sip and immediately grimaced.

'Yeah, it doesn't get any better.' Raven remarked. 'Nyko's back.'

Clarke looked to the tree line and could just make out a figure moving towards them. He was stooped slightly and Clarke realised it was from the size of his bag that was thrown over his shoulder. Instead of moving to help him, Raven turned around and yelled to the inside of the clinic to summon Jasper.

Jasper immediately grumbled but rushed to help Nyko carry everything inside.

'Looks like Octavia came good.' Jasper commented.

He set the bag down in the corner next to the front door and Raven turned and looked at him remove the equipment.

'That's my damn tripod.' Raven muttered.

Clarke turned and immediately recognised the device she had asked Raven to make to help raise patients for when they had unstable hip fractures. It had been stolen from them on their last supply run.

'Did you just see Octavia in TonDC?' Clarke asked casually.

'Indra was there also.' Nyko replied.

Clarke turned back to her drink, lost in thought. It seemed as though Lexa had rightly deferred to Octavia and Indra on this. If they had been involved on the attack on the raiders then it was paramount that Lexa's involvement was kept secret. Azgeda longed for her head and even Skaikru had turned against her. She and Lexa had barely been safe in Arkadia after everyone had discovered the lie.

'No Lexa?' Raven asked and Clarke knew her friend had shot her a glance.

'Octavia said something about her meeting Rosar.'

Clarke immediately took a large gulp of her moonshine while Jasper let out a low whistle.

'Jasper!' Raven shot.

'She's hot.' Jasper shrugged, confused, but then Raven indicated her head towards Clarke his eyes widened in realisation. 'Well, not that hot. I mean, there is hotter-'

'Shut up, Jasper.' Raven sighed.

'I agree.' Nyko interjected. 'Clarke, go rest.'

Clarke spun around where she sat and smiled at him. Nyko was one of the few grounders that ever called her by her name and not the title that represented death.

'You sure you're good here?' She asked.

'We'll be fine.'

Clarke bid her thanks before leaving the moonshine with Raven and walking back through the clinic. It had been built on the designs of both Raven and Wick. Thanks to Monty they had a small communications system set up so they could contact Arkadia but that was relied upon mostly to warn of Azgeda raiders in the area or to arrange supply runs.

Clarke went over to the end bed to check on her loneliest patient. Zoran immediately sat up when he saw Clarke head towards him.

His face was still covered in tunic. He would not let anyone other than Clarke lower it to check him over. His biggest issue had been the state of his feet and severe malnutrition. It had taken Clarke days to get the story out of him. His parents had died on their way to the City of Light and he had made his way alone through the Dead Zone for weeks. Clarke had been stunned when he had asked about a Thelonious and Clarke had to break the news to him that Jaha had died. He was quite possibly the only person who ever mourned Jaha- except perhaps Murphy in his own way.

'When can I leave?' Zoran asked.

'You got somewhere to be?' Clarke asked, quickly checking his feet and applying fresh bandages.

Zoran deflated and Clarke knew why. He had no one and he had no purpose.

'Because I'd quite like it if you could stick around and help us out.' Clarke said.

'How can I help you?' Zoran asked in wonder.

'You know my friend Raven? She's kind of a genius but she could do with some help. She used to have loads of help back at Arkadia with Monty and Wick but now they're kind of stuck there. Do you think you'd be up for it?'

Clarke could not see his expression but she was sure he was beaming if the twinkle in his eyes was anything to go by. Zoran had been fascinated by everything about Skaikru. This would give him a chance to heal and allow him some safety, or at least protection. They may have a tendency for getting attacked regularly but so far no one had been able to kick their asses, as Raven had so gracefully put it.

Clarke left Zoran to rest although she was sure his excitement would impede him on that quest. She headed through the back door and into their very small quarters. In reality, there were four beds that were crammed in a tiny room. They rarely ever slept at the same time, however.

Clarke kicked off her boots and collapsed on her bed, allowing her mind to clear once more.

* * *

 

'Rosar wants to see you.' Murphy grumbled.

'At this time?' Lexa asked, a trace of indignation laced in her voice.

'She is our Azgeda expert.' Murphy replied scathingly and Lexa shot him a questioning look.

'If I remember correctly, you were the one who suggested we bring her with us.' Lexa replied.

'I know.' Murphy groaned. 'And I know that if it wasn't for her spilling Azgeda warrior training secrets and tactics Clarke and the others would probably have been killed by raiders by now.'

'She did accurately work out where a large group of them were camping.' Lexa conceded.

'I just don't like-'

Lexa quirked a brow in amusement when Murphy faltered unsure, and he waved his arms looking slightly hopeless.

'Oh, fuck it,' Murphy hissed, 'I don't like her with you.'

Lexa was aware she should more than likely scold Murphy for his foolishness and for overstepping but she couldn't help but be touched by his loyalty to both her and Clarke when he of all people could argue that they were responsible for Emori's death. Even the remaining population at TonDC had not been happy when she had arrived here a month ago. Everyone across the land held her accountable for the deaths due to the radiation but Murphy had remained loyal.

'Thank you.' Lexa said quietly.

'Thank you?' Murphy repeated, baffled.

'Yes.' Lexa nodded and Murphy understood that he was dismissed.

She watched as Murphy exited but she heard him mutter a slew of curse words and her brow furrowed when she saw Rosar enter wearing her night gown. Lexa forced an impassive expression upon her face. They still required Rosar.

'You wished to have an audience with me?' Lexa prompted and she hoped the formality would remind Rosar of her position.

Rosar smirked. She slowly reached to the straps of her nightgown and pulled them down, letting the garment fall to the floor.

'Leave.' Lexa told her a bored voice.

'I wish only to serve Heda.' Rosar smirked, stepping closer.

'Then leave or I will have my guards drag you out of here.' Lexa said, her steely gaze never leaving Rosar's eyes which were full of hunger.

'Clarke isn't here, if you're worried...'

'Do not utter her name. She is my wife. It does not matter where she is.' Lexa replied icily.

'Anybody would want this, Lexa. Anybody would take it. You are Heda. You have needs.'

'I am not anybody. The only requirement I have for you is your exit.' Lexa said and she stopped to pick up the nightgown and casually flicked it at Rosar who stepped back in shock.

Her face flushed in anger and she threw the gown back over her head before storming out of the door.

* * *

 

Clarke rolled over in her bed when she heard the door open. A smile instantly met her at the sight of Lexa.

'You're late.' Clarke smirked.

'There's no time here, Clarke.' Lexa reminded her, as she lay down at her side.

Clarke sighed contentedly as Lexa brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Clarke shuffled closer on the bed to Lexa and their feet immediately tangled.

'Any moment your attention isn't entirely focused upon me is a wasted moment.' Clarke retorted.

'You are exceptionally demanding.' Lexa replied, smiling.

Clarke laced her fingers with Lexa's and stared down at their entwined hands. It reminded her of when they had woken up from having saved the world, or so they had thought. Clarke quickly banished those memories, not wanting to dwell on all that had happened. She squeezed Lexa's hand. She never wanted to let Lexa go.

'Were you with Rosar?' Clarke asked, tensing slightly.

'Clarke, I care nothing for her.' Lexa vowed.

'I just miss you.' Clarke admitted sadly.

'I know.' Lexa replied and she reached forwards to kiss Clarke softly.

As their lips met, Clarke pulled Lexa closer and gently rolled them so that she was straddling Lexa. Lexa hummed in contentment at their closeness and they continued to kiss slowly. Clarke pulled back, and took both of Lexa's hands in hers.

'I could stay like this forever.' Clarke told her earnestly.

'We do have forever.' Lexa replied, pulling Clarke back down again.

Clarke moaned as she felt Lexa's tongue slide across hers. She pressed more firmly against Lexa, wanting to be completely embedded in her existence. She missed getting her fingers caught in the braids of Lexa's hair, she had longed for the scent of Lexa to overwhelm her this much again, she'd missed how their bodies molded together.

Lexa carefully unbuttoned Clarke's pants and slid them down, with her underwear. Clarke hissed slightly at the cool hair but she was pushed up as Lexa removed her top. Clarke didn't have a chance to reconnect their lips as Lexa rolled her so that she was now staring up into green eyes full of lust and love.

Clarke could only watch in adoration as Lexa began to strip herself. Clarke made no moves to touch her skin. She just needed to see her for a moment, to take in all of Lexa and memorise all of her as if she was about to sketch her love once more.

Lexa lowered herself again and brushed her nose against Clarke's tenderly.

'Are you okay?' Lexa whispered.

'This is everything.' Clarke answered, finally kissing Lexa once more and running her hands over Lexa's stomach and up to the curves of her breasts.

Lexa gasped as Clarke began to tease her breasts with her deft fingers and she bit and sucked on Clarke's bottom lip lightly. Clarke felt Lexa smirk against her when she released another moan.

She had wanted nothing more than to be with Lexa. She lost herself to this place whenever she could but she would not Lexa simply take whatever she wanted. She would always rise to any challenge.

Clarke snaked her arm around Lexa's back to steady her as she lifted them both onto their knees.

'That's how it's going to be?' Lexa laughed.

'Exactly how I want it.' Clarke retorted and Lexa laughed again against her lips.

Their fingers roamed each other as they continued to kiss passionately. Clarke could tell Lexa was steadily losing control. As Clarke's hands played with her inner thighs, Lexa rested her head on Clarke's shoulder and bit the skin lightly as she released a shaky breath.

'Clarke...'

It was a breathy whisper of want and Clarke leaned back so that Lexa was forced to look at her. Clarke tenderly brushed Lexa's hair back behind her ears. It was now fairly tangled and the braids had come loose. Lexa's eyes were clouded with lust and her lips were swollen and parted. Clarke cupped her cheeks before smiling fully and kissing Lexa tenderly, and lowering her hands to Lexa's wet folds.

Lexa gasped at the contact and Clarke struggled not to release her own curses at the feeling of Lexa around her. She was so wet. Clarke pressed a searing kiss to Lexa's lips and Lexa instantly deepened it. Clarke's lust was set on fire by Lexa's hot core. She ached to slip her fingers fully inside but she continued to toy with her. She could have kept Lexa like this forever.

She moaned again in surprise when suddenly Lexa's fingers were parting her own folds and were intent upon extracting as much pleasure as they could. Clarke's kisses raged against Lexa's lips until desire overtook her. She couldn't focus on anything but her own fingers and Lexa's as they moved within her. She rested her head against Lexa's collar bone and panted quicker with each passing moment. Clarke could feel Lexa's own heavy breathing and Lexa's nose was buried in her hair. Clarke cried out loudly when she felt Lexa finally reach her orgasm. Her own triggered by Lexa's cries of ecstasy.

Clarke continued to rest heavily against Lexa who wrapped one arm around her. Clarke turned her head to Lexa's face slightly and watched as Lexa licked each finger, while she still holded Clarke securely to her.

 Clarke smiled happily and Lexa moved them to the top of the bed and gently guided them both to lie down. Clarke's fingers started tracing delicate patterns over Lexa's hip and thigh. They were quiet for a long time, content to simply be with each other.

'Come back to me.' Lexa finally whispered.

Clarke continued to stare as her own fingers carried on their route. She couldn't look in Lexa's eyes and see the longing and hurt. It would break something inside her. She didn't know where that would lead.

'I'm with you.' Clarke replied quietly.  'I'm right here.'

'There is no here.' Lexa sighed and Clarke could tell annoyance was creeping under skin.

'Yes, there is. This place is real.' Clarke said.

'I need you back with me in life.' Lexa told her firmly.

'Let's not do this again.'  Clarke pleaded.

'How long will you continue to run for?'

'I'm not running.' Clarke replied, tears welling. 'I'm doing this for everyone, including you.'

'We both get to decide how we want to live our lives, Clarke.' Lexa challenged.

'There is no living in that world, Lexa.'

Clarke raised herself on the bed, sure she could here Raven's voice.

'I have to go.' Clarke said quickly but regretfully.

'What is it?' Lexa asked, instantly rising too.

'Raven, I don't know. Better not be Azgeda.' Clarke leaned across the bed to capture Lexa's lips one final time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: So I wanted to keep the Flame and mini Flame. I don't really see why they'd get rid of them even if they aren't entirely necessary to survival right now. Plus, like Clarke was ever going to give up a world where Lexa always was. There will be 'true' Clexa scenes coming up but it will take a little bit of time. I've needed to build the background because Azgeda is going to trigger a whole load of issues and there are going to be a couple of major character deaths coming fairly soon. Things will get a bit dark for both Clarke and Lexa but they will find their way back to each other.


	54. Healing Duties

Clarke felt Raven's hands shaking her awake roughly.

'Clarke!'

'What is it?' Clarke groaned, rolling over.

'Octavia.'

Clarke threw herself out of bed, stumbling over her boots. She cursed before pulling them on and rushing into the clinic. Octavia was lying in the bed, her leg ripped open and Jasper was applying pressure to the wound.

'Another river monster?' Clarke asked.

'Very funny' Octavia said in a tight voice.  

'Let me see.' Clarke said quickly.

Clarke took hold of the bandages and examined the wound.

'It's not arterial. I'll stitch it up. Nyko was in the forest earlier. He should have made some numbing power form the plants.' Clarke said.

Jasper instantly retrieved it while Clarke got to work.

Clarke dismissed them all, although Jasper gave Octavia an awkward glance before he made his exit. Octavia and Clarke were left relatively alone. The only patients in the room were still caught in their slumber, although Clarke would shoot glances at Zoran suspiciously. The boy loved to know all of the gossip and goings on of the clinic.

'You want to tell me what Lexa had you do this time?' Clarke asked, as she applied the powder and waited for it to start to work.

'I do nothing for her.' Octavia hissed in pain.

Clarke glanced doubtfully at her.

'I do it for Trikru. For Lincoln and Indra.'

Clarke nodded slowly, and she figured it would be best not to remind her of exactly which clan Lexa was from. She tapped Octavia's leg with her needle but she drew no response to indicate any pain so she carefully started to stitch up the wound. Octavia remained completely still throughout the procedure.

'Lexa didn't send me to do anything. I was scouting around TonDC and two jumped me. I killed them but I got cut. It didn't seem too bad so I thought I could make it here and make sure they weren't planning anything.'

'They do hate this place.' Clarke sighed.

'It's unity.' Octavia replied. 'They want to break any bonds between Skaikru and Trikru.'

'Are there any?' Clarke asked doubtfully.

'You would know.' Octavia smirked but Clarke remained silent.

Clarke cut the excess wires after she had tied them and bandaged Octavia's wound with a cloth.

'You'll need to come back-'

'-I can take them out myself.' Octavia waved her off.

'Hold on a second.' Clarke told her and she dodged into their quarters quickly before returning with a sketch in hand and giving it to Octavia.

Octavia took it uncertainly but Clarke saw her eyes widen in amazement. She had meant to give it to her before but there had never been much of an opportunity. They had barely spoken since the City of Light. Clarke still didn't know what to feel towards Octavia after everything that had happened with Bellamy but she wasn't sure she had hatred in her. Octavia also understood what it had meant to lose in that place as she had watched Bellamy and Lincoln be taken away for a second time.

'I know you don't have any photos.'

'Clarke-'

'He was my friend too.' Clarke shrugged, looking down at the sketch of Lincoln.

* * *

 

Lexa rushed out of her quarters and sent her guards to awaken Murphy. Within minutes, he was stumbling towards her and their horses.

'What's going on?'

'Clarke might be in trouble.'

'When isn't she?' Murphy replied but Lexa was unsurprised when Murphy immediately pulled himself up on the horse. 'The others?'

'Let's not create a disturbance for nothing. Drawing attention from over exuberence can do more damage than not acting at all.'

Lexa climbed up upon her horse gracefully as they made their way to the clinic at speed. They wove between the trees. Murphy now knew these lands almost as well as Clarke but their knowledge was both surpassed by Lexa. She felt free again outside of Polis but this place had long since lost its title of home.

They slowed when the lights of the clinic came within sight penetrating through the darkness. A creak met Lexa's ears and she pulled out her sword and threw it to the sound where a second later a dull thud met the Earth. Murphy jumped down and rushed to inspect the scene.

'Azgeda.' He called and Lexa slowly urged her horse towards him.

Murphy pulled the sword out of her chest and handed it back to Lexa. Her arrow lay beside her broken body and Lexa seethed at how out of control the situation was. Attacking the clinic seemed to be their priority at the moment. Only bullies would target a place of shelter.

'Scout the area. Make sure there are no more lingering.' Lexa ordered, without taking her eyes off the place Clarke had now begun to call her home.

* * *

 

'This damn civil war.' Abby spat, wiping the blood off her hands and throwing the cloth across the room.

'Abby,' Jackson pleaded but Abby held up her hand.

She leaned against her desk, all of her energy spent. She had just spent two hours trying to save the life of an Azgeda child soldier who was likely no more than ten years old. Clarke just dismissed them as vermin raiders but Abby was the one patching them up most days when the clinic refused to take them. Nyko would only accept Trikru or Skaikru patients and Clarke had gone along with all of it. She couldn't understand when her daughter became this person who so casually disregarded human life. She had watched Clarke treat countless patients on the Ark with such devoted and tender care. The idea of turning patients away who were in need was unthinkable.

'There is nothing good in this.' Abby murmured furiously.

'You did everything you could.'

'Nyko turned that boy away from the clinic. His companions had to drag him here half dead. Clarke could have easily saved him. He lost so much blood on the journey that by the time he got here there was no chance, so tell me why I shouldn't blame my daughter?' Abby seethed.

'Clarke's just doing what she thinks is right.' Jackson tried.

'You don't know what she did.' Abby said, trying to stop herself from sobbing.

Jackson however remained stood before her as willing as ever to wait until she was ready.

'She told me she killed her father.' Abby cried. 'Marcus keeps saying Jake wasn't really living but he was stood in front of her just like you are with me and she pushed a knife into him. How could she do that?'

Abby's voice broke. She should have realised what Clarke had become. She had been repulsed by what she had chosen for Finn. He was going to die anyway but for Clarke to do that when Abby had taught her to try to save every life, to always do no harm...

Clarke had become a mass murderer and these days she seemed to think nothing of it. Her only concern, always, was Lexa. She was lost to anything else and Abby didn't know how to pull her back to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. Thanks as ever for comments and kudos and just for reading. :)
> 
> I thought it would be nice to see Clarke and Abby's different approaches to medicine because Clarke was actually a healer before anything else. She learnt those skills on the Ark but that doesn't mean she's completely forgotten who she is and is taking up the role of good doctor. She needs Nyko in the clinic and obviously she has a huge amount of distrust for Azgeda after Nia, Ontari and all of the raider attacks. Azgeda are after Lexa and she's not going to help people who will put someone she loves in danger and she has a responsibility to the clinic. Abby though is always going to struggle with this because she's always had a lot of privilege to be able to fight for every life. We saw her on the Ark fight to save people even when they thought they were going to die in two days anyway. There's just a fundamental clash there and I can understand why Abby would find it difficult to turn someone away in need, but she's also relatively safe in Arkadia from Azgeda.


	55. Some Things Can't Be Fixed

 'It looks like Rosar proved her worth.' Indra said to Lexa.

They were perched on the end of a tall cliff face looking down at the river where the Azgeda raider party had gathered. It had been one of the main gangs organising the theft of the supply runs and that had targeted TonDC and the drop ship, where some of Skaikru still remained.

'Are you sure about this?' Indra asked.

'Are you questioning my decisions once more, Indra?' Lexa challenged coldly.

'Of course not, Heda.' Indra said, inclining her head slightly.

Indra pulled the bottles of alcohol out of her horse's satchel and handed five to Lexa.

'Clarke said they would be highly flammable.' Lexa reminded her.

'Good.'

Indra soon started a small fire and they both stuffed cloths which hung out of the bottle and lit the ends of them. They lobbed each bottle over the cliff face but beyond the Azgeda warriors and into the long glass where the flames quickly penned them in.

Lexa and Indra both stood calmly and raised their bows picking off the Azgeda soldiers one by one. There were screams of fury but they realised too late what was happening as one by one they fell. The fire never risked hurting them as the wet rocks stopped it advancing but they remained trapped. One soldier desperately fired his own arrow towards them but it missed Lexa by six feet and bounced off the cliff face. At this angle and height, they were safe.

Lexa granted Indra the privilege of finishing the remaining warriors before climbing back upon her horse.

'This group may be finished but there are still many more of them.'

Lexa nodded.

'Abby will have something to say of this.' Indra warned her.

'I am Heda. Let her challenge me.'

* * *

 

Maya's rock music was booming throughout the car and Jasper wondered vaguely whether anyone could hear them as they sang at the top of their voices. Once the song was over, Jasper turned to mute the music.

'Maya did have a good taste in music.' Monty said sadly.

'She did.' Jasper agreed and he shot Monty a curious look. 'What's going on with you?'

'What do you mean?' Monty deflected.

'I mean we're sat in the middle of the road in the middle of the day-'

'We can't go anywhere else because of Azgeda.' Monty pointed out. 'And it is my day off.'

'How's Harper?'

'She's-'

'She's what?' Jasper asked, laughing when Monty abruptly closed his mouth and leaned forward.

Jasper followed his vision nervously and swore when he saw a small boy in the road up ahead.

'Go.' Jasper told Monty.

'He's lying down! He could be hurt!'

'Trust me, he isn't, Monty! Just go!'

Monty swore loudly and went to pull the handbrake down but both of the front doors opened and they were pulled out. Jasper was thrown to the ground and Monty was slammed into the dirt next to him a second later.

'Take what they have!' The warrior shouted.

Monty struggled to sit up.

'Ice Nation?' He asked Jasper under his breath, not looking up.

'Yes,' the warrior sneered, kneeling down to Monty's level, 'Ice Nation.'

The warrior's lank hair dropped down to his eyes and he bared his teeth like a panther, his mouth full of fuzzy yellow teeth. He had white scars running down both sides of his temple and Jasper swallowed nervously but the warrior soon stood up and watched his men work.

'Just stay quiet and we should be okay.' Jasper whispered.

It had not been the first time he had experienced this. The first time he'd tried to plead with them to stop but he'd been headbutted in the face with the base of an axe. It found it slightly unfair when Raven had yelled a lot more than he had but he did learn that staying quite increased the odds of survival.

'Jasper, we can't let them strip the car. You've just gotten those supplies.'

'So we'll get some more.' Jasper whispered, trying to convey that they needed to shut up.

Azgeda took no time in taking everything out of the car. They even smashed the windows at each side for good measure and Monty and Jasper both flinched as glass was sprayed down upon them. The warriors gave a loud bark of laugh at their fear.

'You can't keep doing this!' Monty shouted as they made to leave but the leader with the yellow teeth hissed in delight and Monty couldn't help but recoil.

'Azgeda does what it desires.'

He swiftly kicked out and his foot connected heavily with Jasper throwing him face down in the dirt.

'No!' Monty shouted but another warrior tackled him and held him down on the ground.

Jasper struggled for air as kicks and punches were sent into him with ferocious pride. Each mark left would be a sign of Azgeda's strength, he knew. He was kicked again and he found himself rolling over twice. He tried to raise himself but his hands shook and he collapsed back in the dirt. He could feel saliva or possibly blood fall from his mouth onto the ground. Trying to keep his eyes open was an impossible task. Monty looked so worried but his voice and cries were fading. Jasper grunted with each new blow and all he wanted was for the pain to stop.

* * *

 

'What happened?' Clarke demanded as she ran down the steps to Monty who was pulling an unconscious Jasper out of the rover.

'Azgeda.' Monty panted as they heaved him up the stairs.

Raven quickly broke off her conversation with Zoran to go to them and Nyko hurried over too.

'Oh my God.' Raven muttered, taking in Jasper's beaten face.

Clarke quickly examined Jasper. His body was covered in bruising and he did let out a groan when Clarke pushed on his abdomen. His shoulder had been dislocated too. Clarke felt Monty hover over her and turned to face him, pushing him away from the bed.

'Go in the back, Monty.'

'I can't leave him.' Monty cried.

'You have to. You're going to be in the way and I'm going to end up distracted because I'm worried about how you're coping.' Clarke told him gently.

Clarke knew how hard this was for him. He looked distraught but Clarke needed to do this as much for Monty's sake as it was for her own.

'Clarke is right. Let her focus.' Nyko said gently.

Monty stared at Jasper for a long moment. It was with a look of guilt that he carried as he headed to the back room.

'Nyko, can you hold him steady?' Clarke asked.

'Of course.'

Nyko gripped Jasper so firmly it was as if he had been held in a vice. Clarke gripped the hand of his dislocated arm and looked at Nyko. He nodded to signal he was ready and she pulled up his arm sharply, twisting it slightly until there was a loud crunch and it was back in place. She checked the pulse in his arm to confirm there was adequate blood flow before stepping back. The least serious problem had been taken care of.

Nyko quickly mixed the coagulant solution and poured it down Jasper's throat as Clarke inserted a cannula in his arm. He gagged slightly but fell back unconscious once more as soon as it had been drained.

Nyko ripped off Jasper's shirt and Clarke looked down with a strained expression at the bruising. She pulled out a needle and tubing from the supply drawer and shot Raven a look of pain.

'What is it?' Raven asked quickly.

'I need your blood.' Clarke asked desperately. 'I would do it myself but Ontari's-'

'It's okay. I understand. I'll do it.' Raven said, her gaze set determinedly as she rolled up her sleeve and offered her arm to Clarke.

Clarke quickly threaded the needle into Raven's vein and connected the tubing to the cannula connected to Jasper. Clarke watched as Raven's red blood made its way to Jasper's body. It reminded her, sickeningly, of the Mountain Men but this was to save Jasper, she tried to remind herself and it was also with Raven's consent.

'What if I'm the wrong blood type?' Raven asked quietly.

The only system to check blood type remained in Arkadia but Clarke had few options available right now.

'He dies.' Clarke said simply. 'But if he doesn't get blood he'll die anyway. His abdomen is rigid. His body risks shutting down. He needs blood and bad blood is worth the risk.'

'I'll keep an eye on running things here, Clarke. You watch Jasper.' Nyko offered and she smiled in thanks.

Clarke grabbed two chairs from the desks in the far corner where the radio was held and pulled them over the Raven where they both sat watching Jasper.

His face was clammy and drawn and Clarke found herself wondering absurd things such as whether she could remember what colour Jasper's eyes were. She'd only spoken to him this morning. She rubbed her forehead, hoping to ease some of the tension.

'Let me know if you start to feel dizzy.' Clarke said and Raven shot her an incredulous look. 'I'm serious.'

'I'll be fine, Clarke.' Raven dismissed.

Clarke sighed and turned back to Jasper.

'Reminds me of when we first landed.' Clarke admitted.

She'd done everything she could to save Jasper then. She would not give up on him now.

'A lot has changed.' Raven replied.

'Not that much.' Clarke countered. 'We're still killing each other.'

* * *

 

'Chancellor.' Abby greeted teasingly as she entered their quarters but Kane's expression was grim. 'What is it?'

'Harper and Miller were-'

'What did they find this time?' Abby asked, cutting him off quickly.

'By the river there was a slaughtered gang of Azgeda raiders. Maybe two dozen. There were covered in arrow wounds and the grass around them had been scorched.'

'What does that mean?'

'They were trapped by flames.'

'While they were camping?' Abby asked, shocked. 'They weren't even attacking anyone?'

'No,' Kane sighed, 'but sooner or later they would have.'

'A lot of these raiders lost everything thanks to Clarke and Lexa's decision. They lost their homes and their families. They're trying to make a life.'

'By taking the lives of others.' Kane pointed out.

'We don't actually know that though because once again they were killed when they thought they were safe. This wasn't a combat kill.'

'Abby,' Kane groaned and he stretched his hand out and she took it and sat beside him on the bed, 'we'll fix this.'

'How?'

'We keep working, we keep trying, we keep going for peace. It's the best we've got.' Kane said, kissing her lightly.

'When did you become the optimist?'

'When we made it to the ground.' Kane smiled, kissing her again.

* * *

 

Clarke looked back to Jasper's bruising. She grabbed a BP cuff and quickly checked his blood pressure which was still incredibly low. She thought with Nyko's treatment and Raven's blood that he would have started to improve.

'What do you need to do?' Raven asked.

Clarke swallowed nervously.

'You've got that look. The one where something awful is about to happen but you're just going to get it over with.' Raven said.

'I need to repair the damage. He's not improving. There must be a significant tear or damage still causing blood loss.' Clarke said with an edge.

'Surgery?'

Clarke nodded.

'How?' Raven asked, aghast.

'You did it.' Clarke said, her eyes never leaving Jasper.

'I was in a hell of a lot better state.' Raven retorted.

'If we do nothing, he will die.' Clarke said finally turning to Raven. 'This will fix him.'

'Clarke-'

'We need to tie him down.' Clarke said, ignoring her protests. 'He could wake from the pain of surgery and if he moves it could cause more damage.'

Clarke ran to the cabinet and pulled out the spare belts from the clothes they had collected from those patients they had lost and she began to tie Jasper's limbs to the bed.

The radio cackled to life.

'Clinic outpost, do you read?'

Clarke looked across at the radio as Harper's voice echoed across the room. Raven made to go but stopped when she felt the tubing pull and so it was Nyko who took the message. Clarke continued to make sure that Jasper was securely fastened to the bed as Nyko made his way over.

'Azgeda have been reported as engaging in high activity in the area. One of their gangs was slaughtered.' Nyko told them.

Clarke glanced to Jasper. They couldn't move him. If the raiders wanted to cause trouble they would surely head to the clinic but they would have just have to meet that situation if it presented itself to them. For now she could only afford to focus on Jasper.

'What is going on?' Nyko asked, concerned as he looked over the restraints.

'She's operating.' Raven responded in a quiet voice.

'I'm saving him.' Clarke corrected.

'Maybe you can't.' Raven said, her voice rising.

Clarke hesitated, bringing her gaze to meet Raven's. They were both so used to losing people but Jasper would pull through this. He'd survived a spear to the chest when they had no equipment. She could do this.

'This will work, Raven.' Clarke promised her vehemently

Jasper groaned into the room and Clarke jumped in shock.

'Don't I get a say?' He muttered.

Clarke leaned over the bed and smiled, so relieved that he had regained some consciousness but her heart dropped when she realised what that meant: he would be awake for the surgery.

'This is your best chance, Jasper. We have to find a way to stop the bleeding.' Clarke said, fighting back tears. 'You're strong. You can get through it.'

Jasper stared into Clarke's eyes and she found herself feeling small at his intensity. She'd been so surprised when Jasper had decided to help them here but that was initially because he felt lost at Arkadia. The basic medical skills Jackson and Abby had passed on had given him a sense of purpose but he still longed for a place he could feel at home.

He had actually laughed here. He'd joked with Raven and he'd even formed a bond with Nyko who had terrified him at first. Jasper's hostility towards her had also diminished greatly when he was allowed to see Clarke how her mother had intended her to be: a healer and not a leader. Jasper had been more like his old self than ever. The weight of his grief was still with him and that was something Clarke knew never really went away. They had simply learnt to carry their grief with them. Yet he had smiled and joked, and he spent all of his free time joking with Monty on the radio. Clarke swore that's why Monty insisted that they end up with a communications system in the first place.

Jasper had helped Clarke's own pain of being away from Lexa and of losing her home at Polis. It had almost reminded her of the days at the drop ship when they were truly all in it together.

'Then let's do it.' He said, his voice weak.

'Jasper-'

Jasper silenced Raven with a tender look. He seemed so vulnerable and yet there was strength there that Clarke had not noticed before.

'I know what this means but Clarke,' Jasper said turning to her, 'if this doesn't work out, if you can't fix me, it's okay. Let me go.'

'You're going to be okay.' Clarke promised and she avoided Raven's gaze as they both remembered how she had promised that about Finn.

Nyko set up a tray or sterile equipment that they had taken from Arkadia, the grounders and even some tools Raven had created. Clarke grabbed the sharpest and slimmest blade and turned to Jasper. He eyed it nervously but Clarke saw the commitment etched upon his features.

'I have to tell you something.' He confessed quietly.

'What is it?' Clarke asked in surprise.

'I took Finn's ashes. I dropped them...at the drop ship. I was mad at you.'

Clarke hesitated slightly before looking at Raven who did not seem at all surprised.

They were not Jasper's to take. Whatever happened between them it wasn't up to Jasper to make such a call. Clarke forced calmness through herself. She needed to focus and Jasper was terrified. He needed her.

'It's okay. I understand.' Clarke said shakily.

Jasper exhaled loudly and nodded.

'Let's get this over with.' He muttered, turning his gaze to the ceiling.

Clarke swallowed back her nerves. She had done this before. This was no different. He was awake but tied down. It needed to be done. Clarke lowered the blade to his stomach and began to make her first incision. Jasper screamed in agony and Nyko stepped forward to pull back the flesh so Clarke could examine the organs. Raven pulled a face of disgust at the sight.

Jasper wretched slightly and Raven quickly moved towards his head and turned it so that he would vomit to the side if need be but he managed to resist and let out a piercing scream again. Clarke turned her head as her tears fell, trying not to contaminate the field. She took a deep breath before turning back and as Nyko opened him up wider, blood began to pool and spill onto the floor.

Jasper gasped before falling unconscious again. Clarke's relief at that Jasper was no longer in pain was soon erased by the amount of damage he had sustained in the brutal attack. He must have been kicked at least a dozen times. Even with Nyko's treatment, the blood was spilling out of Jasper. She grabbed the thread that they had pulled from fabrics to make do as stitches, and the surgical tools to begin to repair the damage.

She could feel the beads of sweat on her forehead and her shirt stuck to her back. It was as much due to the lights and stuffy climate of the room as it was to her terror. Nyko remained a soothing presence, ever stoic and carrying out all of his tasks diligently. She knew Skaikru medicine was new to him but he trusted Clarke's judgement after he had witnessed her save Lincoln.

Her hands slid over the blood and his intestines as she searched desperately for any further damage to repair. As darkness fell, Raven dragged the overhead light so it shone down on Clarke. They rarely used power in the night unless it was in an emergency. The power packs on Skaikru were mostly used for the radio and they were switched off when night arrived unless they received a sudden influx of patients.

Raven had almost fallen as she stepped backwards from the light. Clarke immediately ordered Raven to take a break from giving blood. Raven had protested but Clarke had told her that he'd received enough for now. It was only Nyko's agreement that had silenced Raven temporarily. Raven had not left to rest though, despite Clarke's urges, and she looked almost as clammy as Jasper as she stood watching their work.  

Clarke had by now split most of his chest open. Raven had been forced to look away once more as Clarke stretched the incisions. She understood Raven's repulsion at the act. It must seem monstrous to be butchering a friend like this to someone who had little medical experience.

'Clarke,' Nyko said but Clarke was lost in her concentration so he muttered her name more loudly.

Clarke finally looked up to him and Nyko held Jasper's hand up to the light. Blood was oozing from his finger tips.

Clarke instantly tried to feel for a pulse. She swallowed thickly as she waited but still there was nothing. She dropped his wrist after several seconds.

'No.' Clarke gasped.

Clarke moved to Jasper's left side and buried her hands within his chest until she found his heart and she began to adminster compressions directly.

'Clarke!' Raven cried.

Monty ran out of the back as Raven's voice had carried.

'What is it?' He asked and he stared down at Jasper, fear covering his features and Clarke looked away as she continued to massage his heart.

'Clarke, he's gone.' Raven cried.

Clarke shook her head as her tears fell freely onto Jasper.

'Clarke, please, just stop.' Raven sobbed.

Monty stood frozen but Nyko stepped forward and placed his hand on Clarke's arm and she slowly pulled herself out from his chest, her arms soaked in his blood.

Clarke couldn't look down at Jasper's face. She stared into the grief of Raven's face and glanced at Monty. He stood shell shocked. He'd lost his father and had been forced to kill his mother but Jasper was like his brother. He thought Jasper would always, always be with him.

'I'm sorry, Monty.' Clarke croaked.

Clarke raised her hand to wipe her tears but dropped it promptly at the sight of Jasper's blood. She wanted to run and bathe herself and scrub herself clean of every piece of Jasper but she also longed to dive upon him once more and try to squeeze life back into his heart. It was Jasper. It couldn't be Jasper who had died.

Nyko stepped forward and reached under the bed for Jasper's shirt they had removed. He lay it on Jasper so that it covered his open chest.

'Yu gonplei ste odon.' Nyko murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Jasper! I made the decision to kill of Jasper quite a long time ago. I didn't want to have Jasper come full circle and go back to who he once was. He made some sort of peace on the ground and accepted death but that life still wasn't natural for him. At the end of the day, as much as he tried, he could never adapt to it which was why he was so at peace with the idea of death and told Clarke not to beat herself up if she couldn't save him. Jasper's been quite detached from the 100 in a lot of ways for a while now but he is still one of them so that death will hit them hard. 
> 
> But on a positive note: Lexa got to kick yet more Azgeda ass without breaking a sweat, Indra seems to be following her again and Raven was as loyal a friend as ever by giving Jasper her own blood. I wanted to put that battle tactic scene in so it was a bit reminiscent of Anya with the CoL. She was trained by Anya and they are Trikru so they will know exactly how to use the woods and the land to their advantage against Azgeda.


	56. By the Moonlight

 Monty sat by Jasper's bed, holding his hand as Raven comforted him. Tears streaked down Raven's face as she silently stroked Monty's back as he sobbed. Clarke went over to Nyko who was at the window. They both waited, staring into the darkness for over an hour, praying that what they feared would not come true. They didn't want to have to move everyone unless they had no choice but there was the unmistakable flash of a blade in the moonlight against the tree line.

'We have to move.' Nyko said, resigned and Clarke nodded.

Nyko was always rightly cautious with Azgeda. He had been the first to warn Clarke of their ruthlessness when they had set up operations here, but she had scoffed that he had thought ht needed to try to urge her to remain vigilant. She had not forgotten the monsters of Nia and Ontari.

'Raven, get every one into the rover-'

'We can't.' Monty said, sniffing slightly as he tried to calm himself. 'The battery is almost completely dead. We won't make it far enough.'

Clarke sucked in a breath, brimming with frustration.

'Nyko, carry Zoran. Monty and Raven please help Azia and Tol. They just have arm injuries so they shouldn't need too much help. Take the radio and slip out of the back and head to Arkadia.'

Raven stood up quickly, shaking her head.

'What about you?'

'I'm the distraction.' Clarke muttered grimly.

'I'm not leaving without you.' Raven insisted.

'Raven, do as I say.' Clarke urged. 'I'll be fine. The others need you.'

Clarke could see the conflict raging with Raven but she had no choice in the matter. Raven had managed the pain well in her leg recently but in a battle it would be a weakness that would be exploited. Raven nodded and Clarke felt a rush of pride at her loyalty and commitment.

'What about Jasper?' Monty asked.

Clarke couldn't look at Jasper and her voice didn't waver as she answered.

'The dead are gone, Monty. The living are hungry. Now go. We're almost out of time.'

Clarke rushed back to the window as Nyko quickly lifted Zoran and Raven and Monty helped the remaining two patients and led them to the back. Clarke made her way to the drawer and pulled out an assault rifle.

'What the hell?' Raven muttered, and Clarke started not realising that Raven had turned back to her.

'Miller.' Clarke explained. 'The guard didn't get a chance to destroy all their weapons before the radiation mess.'

'Clarke, this could start another war.'

'The clans are already a mess and I won't let them take this place. Besides, you guys aren't going to get very far. If I don't stop them, they'll kill us all.'

'Shit.' Raven hissed before surging forwards and giving Clarke a quick hug. 'Don't you dare die.'

'I'm the Commander of Death, remember?' Clarke tried to joke as Raven pulled away.

'Keep it that way.'

'Go.' Clarke urged and she turned to the entrance and opened the door.

She walked calmly down the steps with the assault rifle, sure they couldn't make it out in the dark. She did not miss their chatter as they drew closer and she could hear the cat calls and jeers.

Clarke walked casually, smirking slightly. She only hoped that these were the ones who killed Jasper. A blade scraped along its sheath as they began to draw their weapons and Clarke openly scoffed before lazily raising the gun.

The first shot rattled out and as the first Azgeda warrior fell backwards, she saw the others stand still in shock. Before they had a chance to run, she kept calmly walking forward and firing one by one. They slumped to the ground, all Azgeda pride and fight had left their bodies. She was making it quick for them. They did not extend the same courtesy to Jasper.  

There was a horrendous gurgle as one lay dying upon the floor and within five steps Clarke was hovering over his body.

He snarled as she stared down, scrutinising him.

'You believe in jus drein jus daun, right?' Clarke asked.

She raised the rifle again and fired twice in his chest and at such close range his body lurched with each shot.

Footsteps rushed through the trees like the leaves waving in the wind and she swung her gun around but immediately lowered it when that voice met her.

'Clarke!'

Clarke smiled fully for the first time in weeks and just for a second she forgot about everything that had happened in the last few hours. It was almost as though she had focused herself back within the secondary Flame.

'Lexa?' Clarke asked, shocked.#She found tears falling as Lexa stepped closer towards her.

Lexa's eyes took in the scene around them, with calculation and Clarke did not miss the fear.

'Are you okay?'

'Of course.' Clarke replied. 'What are you doing here?'

Lexa, however, merely gave her a pointed look and of course Lexa would have been keeping an eye on the area when there was so much Azgeda activity.

'I'm glad you're here.' Clarke admitted sincerely

Even in the limited moonlight Clarke saw Lexa's eyes brim with overwhelming affection but there was also surprise at such a statement which made Clarke's stomach lurch. Lexa should never need question how Clarke felt about her.  

'I wouldn't be anywhere else.' Lexa replied.

Clarke was amazed that Lexa was truly with her everywhere she went, they were bound by the Flame and Clarke could disappear from this existence whenever she needed and yet that closeness never felt enough. She always needed Lexa in both worlds.

Clarke cleared her throat slightly and stepped back to the bodies.

'We need to move them.'

'What about your patients and friends?'

'They got out just in time. Harper had warned us earlier that they'd received reports of Azgeda activity. I can catch up with the others after I've sorted this. If more raiders find them-'

'We'll bury them in the woods.' Lexa said and Clarke was slightly startled when Lexa turned her head over her shoulder and roared Murphy's name and he soon stumbled out of the forest.

'I thought you'd need a minute...' Murphy explained slightly awkwardly.

Clarke couldn't help but smirk at him for a whole minute before launching herself in his arms and he stumbled back again.

'I missed you.' Clarke told him, laughing and pulling away.

'Believe me, I've missed you more.' Murphy grumbled and Clarke laughed loudly as she knew that was a jibe at Rosar. 'You got shovels?'

'Inside.' Clarke nodded but she pulled Murphy back by his arm when he made for the clinic.

'Clarke?' Lexa questioned at the action.

'Jasper.' Clarke said in such a quiet voice that both Lexa and Murphy looked at her with complete understanding and sadness.

'We'll bury him too.' Lexa promised.

'I'll get the shovels.' Murphy offered.

* * *

 

Abby struggled to hold back her yawn as she shuffled to the bed Niylah was perched upon.

'Sorry for keeping you up.'

Abby waved her off.

'It's my night on. Jackson covered for me last night.' Abby explained. 'So your burns are playing up?'

'We got a late delivery of food from TonDC. I dropped one of the crates and caught it on my arm.' Niylah replied, with a hint of irritation in her voice.

Niylah rolled up her sleeve and revealed the angry burn to Abby. Abby bit back her gasp at it. She had treated many burn patients before but the sheer numbers of them had made her sick to her stomach. She hated seeing those familiar radiation blisters. She tried to push away the guilt. Niylah was here because of her. If she had only done more and warned people then this might not have happened. She wouldn't have had to watch so many die without being able to help them. There wouldn't be so many more in pain every day.

Abby treated the wound with numbing powder, it was a trick they had learned from the grounders by crushing certain plants. They often traded now with Trikru and Clarke and Nyko relied heavily upon TonDC which was the closet village to them. Abby was still in awe of Trikru's knowledge of the ground but that's why people like Niylah were so important. They'd been able to establish links with some sympathetic grounders from both Azgeda and within Trikru.

Niylah's arrival to Arkadia had been horrendous by even the ground's standards but after six weeks she was able to walk and the burns had began to heal so that the likelihood of infection had tumbled. Many of Skaikru had not wanted Trikru members within their walls but it was an almost pointless position to take. They were lacking of food and supplies. They needed to work together and the fall out from the radiation had meant that the borders between every other clan had crumbled. They couldn't just shut the doors of Arkadia and pray.

'I'm surprised you decided to stay here.' Abby admitted.

'For years, my people left those who suffered the effects of radiation out into the wilderness to die. Now I am also a stain.'

'Not everyone thinks like that.'

'No, but it was our culture. It was never Skaikru's.'

'Niylah, can I ask you something?' Abby said, as she finished bandaging the wound and Niylah nodded slowly. 'What was Clarke like when you met her?'

Clarke had said nothing of her time away. Abby had asked multiple times but Clarke had refused to speak of it. The only thing she had been able to establish was that she had met Niylah and the woman had lied about Clarke's whereabouts to what she thought was an Ice Nation soldier and then a violent bounty hunter, for which Abby was extremely grateful.

There was something sincere about Niylah which Abby instinctively trusted. She was gentle yet determined and reminded her slightly of a much less recent version of Clarke. Whenever Clarke had visited Arkadia though, she had barely said two words to Niylah but Abby knew that was due to Clarke's infatuation with Lexa. She was impossibly closed off to everyone else.

'Scared.' Niylah answered simply. 'Lonely.'

Abby's stomach squirmed at the thought of Clarke all by herself. Clarke had been so consumed by grief and rage and she wondered how on earth Lexa had ever managed to break through it. Perhaps she hadn't needed to do anything at all; Clarke had forgiven her easily enough. Clarke seemed to jump whenever Lexa called for it.

'What do you- what is-'

'What do you want to ask me, Abby?' Niylah asked softly.

'You were beaten because of my daughter, those burns are because of a lie she wanted us to keep...' Abby faltered but Niylah interjected kindly.

'Clarke saved my people from the Mountain. She stopped the radiation. Clarke was not even part of Skaikru when soldiers murdered my father and his friends.'

Abby nodded. Clarke was as much respected for not killing Trikru warriors in Niylah's eyes as she was for what happened at the Mountain. Abby had to deal with the consequences in medical every day of Clarke's actions. Just yesterday one man had suddenly gone into kidney failure and died in agony because of the impact of radiation. Clarke's respect and love from certain grounders came from her decisions over which lives mattered and which lives she could take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. I'm sorry the update today has came so late but work kicked my arse and I had a freelance writing project to finish. In good news though one of my favourite poetry outlets has just accepted some of my work so yay. Thank you to everyone in the world who ever bothers to read any of my writings :P 
> 
> I was never a great fan of Clarke and Niylah. I thought Niylah was a bit too in awe of Clarke and the whole mountain slayer routine whereas Lexa and Clarke were equals. That said, I did really like the little we did get on Niylah so I really wanted to explore her in this fic. 
> 
> Also Clarke, Lexa and Murphy are my dream team, followed closely by Clarke and Raven. O fans we will be getting more of her but as she was such a driving force for a lot of my "season 4" content I just wanted to ease her a bit more into this story, esp while I set up the clan issues and Jasper's death. Sorry again, J! ;'(


	57. Heading Home

The sun had already risen by the time all of the bodies had been buried. They had buried Jasper first as Clarke couldn't stand the idea of him remaining in any state other than peace. He'd been through enough. None of them had spoken after Jasper had been buried. Clarke felt that Lexa was waiting to see if either Murphy or herself would want to comment but there was little new to be said; they'd done this enough times already. It had felt right that Jasper was buried as opposed to burned. He had never quite settled into the grounder traditions and beliefs. He still identified with the hundred and life on the Ark and therefore burying him as they had done with their early causalities seemed the appropriate course, not that they had much choice.

As they finished covering the last body with earth, Clarke panted lightly as sweat ran down her face and Lexa shot her a smirk that Clarke glared at. She really should have kept at her training. She did not look quite as bad as Murphy however, whose whole face was covered in mud as if he had adopted his own war paint.

It was clear that the earth had been dug up but she doubted that Azgeda would walk exactly into this spot or that they would be bothered to find the secrets that lay beneath. Even if they did, at least it would have bought them a bit of extra time to catch up with the others and work out some sort of plan.

Lexa led them back to the horses that she and Murphy had arrived on as they had to catch up with the others and guarantee them safe passage.  

'There's only two horses.' Clarke noted as she saw them.

'So who gets to ride with who?' Murphy asked, pointing between the three of them.

'She's Heda.' Clarke pointed out.

'I don't mind riding with you.' Lexa replied. 'Not you!'

She pointed at Murphy as he stepped forward.

Clarke bit back a bark of laugh as Murphy stopped his advance forward as though he'd walked into an invisible wall.

'Fine, why not go back to TonDC though?' Murphy questioned. 'It's much closer.'

'We can't just leave the others.'

'Clarke-'

'There's a kid with them, Murphy.' Clarke urged.

She couldn't make the same mistake she had made with Aden. With relief, it seemed that Murphy accepted this. TonDC was much closer and was only several miles West of the clinic but Clarke was worried Zoran may need treatment at Arkadia. Clarke hadn't wanted to release him as his feet still looked swollen. Any infection was best monitored at Arkadia and that's why she'd suggested Raven looking out for him as Raven was due to go back and help Wick out with trying to work out a way to move their power supply to other posts outside of camp. Clarke just hoped that sticking to the forest rather than the trail would have kept them safe from Azgeda. It would have saved much more time to go to TonDC but if Zoran's condition worsened then he'd be out of options.

* * *

 

Raven let out an exhausted sigh as the others kept moving forward. Nyko turned back, with Zoran in his arms, to see Raven had stopped.

'Keep going.' Raven dismissed.

'Break! Ten minutes!' Nyko called out to the others and set Zoran down on the grass, who was surprisingly still asleep.

Nyko stepped closer to Raven and offered her a drink of water but she shook her head, still bent double.

'Save it for the others.' She said firmly.

'You gave too much of yourself for a battle that was already lost.' Nyko commented, taking in Raven's condition.

'He was my friend.' Raven seethed; she didn't know what else she was supposed to have done.

'I wish I had been able to try to do anything for Lincoln.' Nyko admitted.

Raven lowered herself gingerly to the ground. If six months ago she had been told she'd be stuck in the middle of a forest with only grounders to keep her company and who she had to keep safe she would have openly scoffed. Yet she felt as much responsibility to them as perhaps Clarke did.

'Clarke will catch up soon.' Raven said.

It was a statement as much to herself as to Nyko. She hoped Clarke was okay. She always got out of life or death situations but there was usually havoc caused along the way. Clarke was still carrying the pain of the events in the City of Light.

'Perhaps we should have gone back to my village.' Nyko mused. 'It would have been safer.'

'You don't know that. Azgeda respect nothing. Clarke told us to go to Arkadia so that's where we're going.'

'If Clarke survived.'

Raven snorted.

'You really don't know her that well.'

* * *

 

Octavia stormed out of the building Lexa had occupied since they arrived at TonDC. There was still no sign of her or Murphy. She looked around hopelessly, kicking her foot against the dirt and letting out a frustrated groan.

She spotted Indra at a bench with Rosar that was outside what was now used as a makeshift tavern. TonDC had not fully recovered after the missile. A lot of buildings had not been rebuilt and still had no ceilings so that the occupants would have to sleep under the stars and at the mercy of the weather. The priority of this village now was not to live happily as Lincoln had once described it, but to get through the day.

Being in TonDC both pained and comforted her. She felt Lincoln's presence and she was acutely aware of the piece of paper Clarke had given her that was now tucked into her pocket but it just felt wrong to be here without him.  He should be here and it felt impossible that he would never walk in this place again. It did not help that everyone seemed to have some story about him. They offered her the ghost of a Lincoln she did not know.

Octavia glared at Rosar. She really was sick of her. She'd even bonded with Murphy over her hatred of Rosar. The warrior was insufferable. She prized Ice Nation above all over clans, regularly insulted Trikru and their fighting techniques and held Skaikru in contempt. She saw Skaikru as unnatural and thought they should be killed just like those who wore the effects of radiation. However, she was in awe of the Commander and hated the new king who she saw as a disgrace. While he tried to make his way through the backdoor into Polis, she wanted her king to march with Lexa to storm the capital. It made Octavia deeply uneasy but it meant they had a useful ally who could get information they needed.

She rolled her eyes one last time knowing she'd had to force a smile on her face whenever Rosar said anything irritating and she made her way over.

'The Commander isn't here.'

'She will be back.' Indra quelled her.

'You're not worried?'

Indra put down her drink with an impatient sigh. Rosar was watching them intently and Octavia had not missed how Rosar stared enraptured at Lexa, nor how whenever the Commander spoke Rosar was lean closer in her chair clearly longing for her. It had sickened her at first but Lexa's complete indifference towards Rosar was undeniably amusing.

'If Lexa had been caught we would all know it.' Indra replied curtly.

Octavia didn't miss the look of glee Rosar wore at Indra's tone.

'We need Lexa-'

'I am aware and I have full faith in our Commander.' Indra responded and Octavia was barely able to stop the retort she desperately wanted to utter.

Lexa had not won much favour back with Octavia but she recognised her as the best hope they all had and whatever Octavia thought, Lexa was extremely adaptable and a better leader than she ever could be. If Octavia had learned anything from her time as Chancellor it was that she never wanted to be in a position of leadership again.

Indra had seemed intent on winning back some favour with Lexa and Octavia understood why. The grounders were often both in fear and in awe of Skaikru technology. Lexa had done the unthinkable and used the technology her people did not understand, and led a war and somehow saved the world. Indra may not know how or why but she did respect the power and she recognised Lexa now worthy as leader in much the same way Clarke won so much reverence for what happened at the Mountain.

Octavia nodded to signal her submission and left Indra to hear Azgeda secrets. At this point she was just angry that Lexa had left her here with Rosar.  


	58. The Long Road Back

_Clarke sat on the floor, leaning against the bed when there was a knock at the door. She remained silent, hoping they would go away but that plan was to amount to nothing when Kane stepped in._

_'I didn't say you could come in.' Clarke said dully._

_'You didn't tell me to get lost either.' Kane pointed out as he sat down next to Clarke._

_'You're not my father so don't act like you are.'_

_'I'm here as your friend.' Kane said kindly._

_'Why?'_

_'How many times have you helped us selflessly? We've placed the unfair burden on you of coming to expect you to save us. The least I can do is be here if you want to talk.' Kane offered._

_Clarke sighed heavily._

_'I don't want to talk about her.' Clarke emphasised the last word strongly._

_'Which one?' Kane responded teasingly and Clarke had to laugh._

_'My mother.' Clarke clarified._

_'So what about Lexa?' Kane asked._

_Clarke pulled her knees up and rested her elbow on them while she massaged her temple with her hand. She was starting to believe there was no such thing as peace._

_'She can't stay here. Arkadia are angry, they'd throw her to the grounders if they could. The only ones who have any loyalty left to her are Trikru and even that isn't unanimous. Indra's heard the guards at Polis have revolted. There's no army that will follow her to take back control when so many people have lost loved ones.' Clarke took a deep breath. 'I did this.'_

_Kane shook his head._

_'Lexa always plays her cards close to her chest. She wanted it kept quiet and she was aware of what the consequences may be. You know how intelligent she is.'_

_'Now she's not safe.'_

_'Trikru will protect her.' Kane said with certainty. 'Will you go with her?'_

_'Are you asking me to stay?' Clarke questioned._

_'No, I think you should do what's right for you.' Kane urged._

_'I want to do what's right for her.' Clarke admitted._

_When Bellamy had died, Clarke had retreated into herself out of fear and recognition of what she had become. Death followed her. She was the bringer of death for so many. It was why so many people trusted her to lead because they recognised that she was far more comfortable with death and murder than anyone else. They feared her as much as they needed her. By descending into depression and self imposed exile in their quarters, Clarke had tried to destroy herself. If she did not take action then Lexa could not be harmed by her and yet inevitably she had been pulled into a war once more. There was no escaping who she was but that didn't mean she would accept the fate she feared was becoming almost impossible to avoid._

* * *

 

It was still nearly two hours before Clarke, Lexa and Murphy caught up to the others. Raven let out a cry of delight when she saw Clarke and even Nyko looked impressed and he bowed respectfully to his Heda as they dismounted the horses.

'What happened?' Raven asked.

Clarke helped lift Raven and Zoran onto Lexa's horse before she answered and the other two patients were placed upon Murphy's as they started their trip to Arkadia.

'I took care of it.' Clarke said but with emphasis and she knew Raven understood.

'And Lexa just showed up?' Raven asked quietly and Clarke smiled. 'You two should talk.'

'Raven,' Clarke groaned.

'I'm serious. Stop running, Clarke.' Raven scolded and Clarke looked away, grumpily.

'When we get you back to Arkadia we're heading out to the clinic.' Clarke said.

'Screw that plan.' Raven dismissed. 'I'm not staying behind.'

'Raven, they know you and our people still don't trust grounders. I need you there to keep an eye on them.' Clarke hissed.

'Monty can do it. It's my home too.'

'I know and that's why I want to make sure it's in any sort of state for us to go back to.'

'Fine.' Raven snapped.

They carried on until the sunset drew closer and while Clarke and Nyko checked the patients, Lexa quickly went on a hunt and returned less than half an hour later with a boar and Clarke was glad she had remained at her makeshift camp. She had never enjoyed having to kill the panthers when she lived in the woods on her own. Murphy and Raven proved incompetent when it came to trying to start a camp fire and Clarke openly mocked the pair of them. She didn't see how it was they couldn't perform such a basic task after they had lived here for so long.

Zoran was soon asleep before darkness even really drew in and he snuggled into Raven who was leaning against a tree a dozen yards or so away. She understood Raven's frustration that she would have to return to Arkadia but Clarke had to keep them safe.

* * *

 

Abby shut her eyes as she rested against Marcus in exhaustion. Azgeda had been all over the lands of Trikru the previous night and over six people had been brought in. Thankfully, all had survived although several had not been happy at being brought into Skaikru territory at all even if that meant that they would die. She'd saved two from Ice Nation too and she was quickly beginning to realise Trikru tactics were just as brutal when one of them had their left foot hacked off.

Abby felt Marcus wrap his arms tighter around her and she sighed in peace. She just wanted to forget everything that she had seen. Saving people was all that she had ever dreamed off but that didn't stop the nightmares that sometimes found their way to her of death and pain. She was used to blood but she would never get used to seeing the pain and hopelessness in people's eyes.

'Do you think that this will be all there ever is? Constant fighting?' Abby asked, against his chest.

'I believe we can come together for peace.' Kane said earnestly. 'Lexa brought us _blood must not have blood_ in Polis. She gave us a new chance. It's imperative she returns as the rightful commander. Lexa can be the one to bring us hope again.'

Abby grunted in discontent.

'Lexa abandoned us. She brings out the worst in Clarke.'

Abby felt Kane tense slightly beneath her.

'We have to at least try to build the future we want. We can't do that divided. Lexa may not be your favourite person but we need to trust her.'

'I'm not sure if Clarke knows how not to destroy everything she touches anymore.' Abby confessed and she shivered slightly as Kane ran his fingers through her hair.

'She's done a pretty good job of setting that clinic up. Clarke has a good heart, Abby.'

There was a loud knock on the door and Kane made his way slowly to it and revealed Harper. Her eyes were bloodshot as though she'd been crying all night and Abby immediately went to her.

'Honey, what is it?'

'Monty never came back last night. He was with Jasper...we haven't heard anymore from the clinic either. I sent Nyko a warning message but he couldn't really talk. I think something was wrong and now there's nothing.' Harper's voice descended into sobs and Abby folded her into a tight hug.

'We'll send a team immediately out.' Kane promised.

'I want to go,.' Harper said, pulling back from Abby but Abby grabbed her hands.

'You don't know what you'll find.'

'I'll find Monty.' Harper cried.

* * *

 

Lexa stared down at Clarke, stroking her soft blonde hair tenderly as Clarke slept peacefully. Clarke had fallen asleep in her lap. Exhaustion had finally bested her. Clarke had curled one of her arms under Lexa's knee and had gripped her lower leg as though terrified Lexa would leave.

Lexa was glad that Clarke's breathing seemed even. Often it would rapidly escalate as vivid nightmare's fled through Clarke's slumber and she'd awake in a start.

Lexa had to resist the urge to trace Clarke's face and body with her fingers. It had been so long since they had been together like this. The Flame was not enough. Clarke was so beautiful. She looked at peace for the first time in first months, for the first time since they had lived at Polis and before Bellamy's death. Her heart ached at the thought of the grief Clarke was now experiencing for Jasper's death. She knew Clarke would see it as another life that she could not save. Each death tore a little at Clarke's sense of self belief. She saw it as a personal burden and Lexa knew that feeling well. The responsibility over one's people never truly went away. Lexa had grieved for the families caught up in the storm and it had been Clarke that had helped her through it and to reassure her. Lexa had wanted to do the same for Clarke but she saw herself as tainted. All of the deaths she had been blamed for was something Clarke carried with her and so she put up a veil to shield herself and others from the legend of the curse of Wanheda.

Lexa's eyes flicked up as the young boy, Zoran, made his way over to them. He had always kept his face covered and Lexa assumed it was due to radiation. It was not uncommon. Lexa had no problem with those who carried the marks of radiation. The ritual of leaving the babies out to die had been something she had tried to challenge but it had taken root in their culture as deeply as blood must have blood.

'Hello.' Zoran said shyly and Lexa nodded simply to signal that he could sit down.

'I had a nightmare.' He confessed.

'What did it concern?' Lexa asked quietly so as not to disturb Clarke.

'Azgeda.' He answered simply. 'Clarke comes to talk whenever I have a bad dream usually.'

Lexa gazed down softly at Clarke. Of course she would help anyone at whatever time of night. Everyone always turned to her.

'I shouldn't get scared. It's childish.' He admitted.

'Everyone gets scared.' Lexa told him.

'Clarke doesn't.'

'Yes, she does.' Lexa promised. 'She's extremely adept at hiding it.'

'What's Arkadia like?' Zoran asked.

'They are still learning our ways but there is hope there.'

'Are you really Heda? Raven said you were.'

Lexa nodded.

'Was I supposed to die?'

Lexa was taken aback at such a question but she did not let it show. She considered the boy fully. His eyes revealed fear and a lot of insecurity.

'No.' Lexa answered. 'Our ways are sometimes wrong but what happened happened and we must learn to live with the past if we are ever to bring about the future we desire.'

She watched as Zoran's eyes narrowed as he tried to decipher what that meant for himself and what he was supposed to do with himself now. Clarke stirred beneath her, shifting to get comfortable before she was still once more.

Lexa wondered whether Clarke would resume operations at the clinic or whether it would feel too dangerous. Clarke had never backed down from a challenge. She knew why Clarke had chosen that area for the clinic. It was close to TonDC but there was also the trail directly to Arkadia. Clarke could have the supply runs she wanted and was still close to Lexa. It was her own self imposed purgatory. She was close to Lexa and yet not with her, a similar situation repeated by their connection with the Flame. Lexa needed Clarke to work through her guilt soon or she feared that this restlessness would get her killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. Thanks for kudos and comments as always :) I do appreciate it! Hopefully Lexa and Clarke will get some proper time together soon...


	59. Shattered Slumber

A few hours after dawn, they had finally stumbled upon the team that Kane had sent. The guard team were lucky not to be shot. Miller may know these woods but he, Brian and Harper were making so much noise that Clarke had her gun ready when they were still hundreds of yards out. Clarke begrudgingly thought that Indra could have done a better job at training them when Octavia had recruited her.

Harper was beside herself at having found Monty safe but he was definitely not of sound soul. It was with a heavy heart that Clarke broke the news about Jasper's death. She could see the acute pain Harper and Miller felt at the news. Regardless of how much Jasper had detached himself from the group, he had been the one to lead the forty eight in Mount Weather. He had come up with the plans and had kept up morale when Clarke and Bellamy were absent. Bonds such as that always lingered and when one within such a connection met death it was a loss that was about more than just the individual.

They made their way to the outskirts of the forest where a rover was waiting for them and Clarke helped them all get ready to depart.

'You're not coming?' Miller asked as Clarke handed him her assault rifle.

'I'll be back after I've seen what state the clinic is in.' Clarke promised and Miller gave her a quick hug goodbye.

'You better look after yourself.'

'I always do.' Clarke told him as Raven loudly snorted.

Clarke rolled her eyes.

'Look after this lot for me.'

'Always.' Miller promised as he got into the rover.

Clarke turned to Raven who was about to clamber in the car.

'Make sure my mom checks out Zoran first.' Clarke instructed her. 'And get some rest and hydrate yourself when you get back. Your blood pressure might still be down.'

'You don't have to worry about us.'

'That would be a first, wouldn't it?' Clarke muttered and Raven offered a sad smile before climbing in.

Clarke stood back between Murphy and Lexa as the rover pulled away and headed back to Arkadia. Clarke couldn't resist the sense of relief that her return could be delayed.

'So we need to go all the way back now?' Murphy asked sarcastically.

'We are, you can lie down and let Azgeda get you if you prefer.' Clarke retorted and Lexa smirked.

'After you, Princess.' Murphy drawled.

'Don't call me that.' Clarke warned dangerously.

'As you wish, Wanheda.'

'For fuck's sake, Murphy.'

* * *

 

'Where's Clarke?' Abby asked as soon as Raven climbed out of the rover.

'Hello to you too.' Raven replied sarcastically.

'Clarke went back to the clinic.' Miller told her.

Abby bit back the retort she longed to utter; it was not Miller's fault. Clarke had left her people again. She had left patients who needed her to go and settle a score with Azgeda. She had learnt nothing. The pretence of setting up the clinic had failed. She simply couldn't change who she was.

'Don't worry,' Raven said, misreading the look on Abby's face, 'Lexa and Murphy are with her. She's going to be fine.'

Abby couldn't even force a smile as she led them into medical. Nyko immediately acted as though he was at home. Skaikru equipment may have largely been unfamiliar to him but he understood how to heal. Abby wondered if he would stay if she offered. He was suited for much more than what Clarke could offer him, but then it had been Nyko who had objected so much to the prospect of Azgeda patients in the clinic.

She could not reprimand Raven for the condition when she had done so much to try to save Jasper. It seemed cruel to lose him now when he was just beginning to put his life back together. She had warned him that not moving forward would lead to his death and yet now the opposite had seemed to have come to fruition. With all that the hundred had been through she couldn't help but worry they were all waiting to see who was next.  

* * *

 

Octavia charged to the sounds of screams at the outskirts of TonDC. Pain tore through her leg at the speed she was running and she wondered how long it would take for Indra and Rosar to realise what was happening and catch up.

Octavia dove down the bank and found one of the locals, huddled over in pain with blood streaming down her face. Her eyes were alight with fear.

' _What happened?_ '

' _Azgeda. There was only two of them.They took my supplies, beat me and ran._ ' She spluttered, while clutching her side.

Octavia was sure her ribs were broken. She looked around in annoyance but whoever it was had fled. Even if they could pick up the trail they'd endanger more of TonDC by chasing down one warrior when they needed as much strength here as possible. Octavia couldn't believe how close they were coming to their villages now.

'I'll get my friend to look at you. I'll bring her to the village. She works at the clinic.' Octavia said, pulling her up.

Octavia just hoped the clinic hadn't been attacked either.

* * *

 

The trip back at full speed on horses was considerably quicker. Their luck held and they did not encounter any more of Azgeda's raiders or warriors. Lexa knew there lay some plan afoot for this recent swell in activity. To cause chaos and destabalisation within the lands of Trikru could potentially be just to settle an old score of a rivalry that had lasted for decades but the discontent had set in like rot across the lands. Polis could well be the target and this could be the latest game of a king to weak to face any confrontation head on. He could make his play and slip into the jewel of the crown of the ground while everyone was focused upon the chaos around and Lexa was forced to hide under such extensive pressure of the threat of being discovered by any bounty hunters or hostile enemies.

As soon as they broke free of the tree line they could see the collapsed form of the wooden clinic. They slowed as they drew closer and Lexa felt Clarke lean back in the saddle and was sure that shock was written across her features.

The clinic had been burnt to the ground. The remaining wood was blackened and dry and it would be hard for anyone to ever picture that there had once stood a place of safety. Octavia was sat next to the ruins, leaning her head in her hands and her expression was blank. The answer of the culprits was obvious.

When they were in front of the wreckage, Clarke slipped quickly from the horse and Lexa and Murphy dismounted too. They stood back as Clarke moved forwards and picked up a piece of wood. Clarke's hands were stained black with ash and she threw the wood with a fierce scream back into the cinders of the clinic.

'There was no smoke when I got here.' Octavia said flatly. 'They must have done it last night.'

Clarke let out another scream of anger.

'Clarke-' Murphy started but Lexa raised a hand to silence him.

Clarke had every right to be angry. Her anger should not be silenced or contained. Azgeda had taken much from everyone and it had to stop.

Clarke kicked at the wood and Octavia flinched where she sat.

'Clarke, stop.' Octavia half pleaded but Clarke kicked out again.

Lexa saw the anger grip Clarke's body and soul. Clarke had seen this place as her redemption. She'd given herself up to it. She'd forgotten hope and how to live. She had been sleepwalking because acting as healer and doctor had always been right. She'd always been taught that taking care of people was the right thing to do so she returned back to this basic function out of guilt and hopelessness. She had no answers on how to fix this mess and she'd been so afraid of all that she had seen in the City of Light. By dedicating saving others, Clarke had abandoned herself and now she must face it.

'How can they do this? It was a clinic! It was here to save people's lives! Fuck them!' Clarke spat. 'Those fools don't know what they've done. Are they going to burn all the clinics down? All of the healer tents? Where are they going to go when they get a damn arrow through the shoulder? Where are they going to go when their children get sick?'

Clarke kicked at the wood again and it rocked where it lay.

'I know, Clarke.' Octavia emphasised.

'It's done, Clarke. Time to move on.' Murphy told her.

Lexa watched Clarke's reaction carefully. Clarke's eyes narrowed and she turned her back swiftly on the clinic. Lexa recognised that seething look: Clarke wanted revenge.

'You're right.' Clarke said, looking to Murphy. 'It's time to finish Azgeda.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. A shortish chapter but there's a lot coming up so I thought it would add a bit of balance. Also, I'm totally with Clarke: "princess" is the worst nickname ever, right?


	60. Too Long

Raven guided Zoran by the shoulders into engineering to meet Wick. Zoran had been so excited by Skaikru that his eyes had been as large as the planets in the solar system as he looked around and Raven had to physically hold him to stop him running around the camp. He'd only just been cleared from medical and the last thing he needed was to injure his feet again.

'Hey!' Wick said happily. 'You're both out!'

'Thank God.' Raven muttered. 'Abby was doing my head in.'

'So you decided to pay me a visit?' Wick asked.

'Only in your wildest fantasies, Wick.' Raven retorted. 'I'm here to show Zoran our new digs.'

'Your new apprentice?' Wick asked.

'I am the master.' Raven smirked.

Wick snorted.

'I think Zoran might prefer me as a mentor instead. What do you reckon, kid?' Wick asked, bending down so they were at eye level.

'Raven promised me.' Zoran replied sternly and Wick held his hands up in defeat.

Raven stifled a laugh at Zoran's loyalty. He'd become quite attached to all those who helped him at the clinic, even if Nyko slightly terrified him.

'Great. So looking forward to being ganged up on.' Wick joked.

'You better get used to it.' Raven smiled. 'Zoran, you can go settle in now if you like. You remember where the mess hall is, right?'

Raven didn't miss the sparkle in his eyes as he ran out the room. No doubt he'd be exploring again but at least he knew where to find her now.

'So...?' Wick asked, drawing out the word.

'So?' Raven repeated.

'Are we going to talk about us?' Wick asked quietly. 'I mean, I know you just got back and whatever is cool but-'

'I know I've not been very fair.' Raven started slightly shamefully but Wick softened immediately.

'Hey, everything with ALIE and then we went into the City of Light and saw everyone again...I know how difficult that was for you. There's no judgement here. I just want to know where you're at and I know you're worried, but whatever you say, I swear I'm not going anywhere.'

Raven smiled fully. With Wick, she really did believe him.  She'd doubted herself so much before and thought that nobody would want to stay with her. Her mother had never wanted her around, Finn had fallen for Clarke and she thought it was just a matter of time before Wick bailed on her too but she trusted him. He'd been there, happily, after everything.

'Friends?' Raven asked timidly.

She cared about Wick and there was an attraction there. Sometimes they could spend hours together and she could just get lost in it but she had rushed everything before. She knew he was here for her but she didn't know in what form she wanted it yet. She didn't want to destroy whatever connection they had. This was a life that had a terrible habit of ruining everything.

'Always.' He winked.

Raven moved across to look at Wick's designs for moving power outside of Arkadia. They had managed to find so many supplies from different bomb shelters and bunkers. Some of them still had generators. There might still be a way to get the working again. They'd be underground shelters, perhaps potential for more clinics or just a place of safety from Azgeda.

'Hey,' Wick called, breaking her from her thoughts, 'it's been a few days since we heard anything. Shouldn't Clarke be back by now?'

Raven chuckled lightly.

'She's with Lexa.' Raven said knowingly. 'Every time those two meet, Clarke ends up gone a lot longer than she intended.'

* * *

 

Clarke emerged from the ruins of an abandoned building at TonDC were Octavia had placed the beaten woman. She'd suffered broken ribs, a burst nose and a fair amount of bruising but there was no internal damage. She sighed at the fortunes. She knew that she should not feel envious. She would never want anyone to die but she couldn't help but wish that Jasper's luck had not run slightly better.

Even in the ruins of a once proud village, the sunset was making the entire settlement look beautiful. Clarke couldn't help the guilt that came with being here. She'd made the decision to allow so many to die, for so many families to be torn apart to protect her people. She sometimes contemplated what would have happened had she made a different choice but that never led anywhere helpful. They had the hand they were dealt and they just had to make the most of it. She still carried the pain of that day though, and of Finn's massacre. They were both reminders of the danger that followed her everywhere and that so often resulted in death.

Clarke headed across to the largest building and pushed open the door. Lexa turned, smiling and Clarke pushed the door closed and leaned against it.

'So Azgeda aren't being shy anymore.'

Lexa took a delicate step forward.

'Were they ever?'

Clarke had to concede that Lexa had a point but the knowledge that they had come so closed to where Lexa had been staying was deeply unsettling. This was supposed to be a safe place for her.

Clarke held out her hand and Lexa looked at it with a smile before taking it and moving within inches of Clarke. She could feel the tingle of Lexa's breath on her face and she could even breathe in the scent of the soap Lexa used. Clarke closed her eyes briefly, just allowing herself to feel Lexa once more. When she opened her eyes, Lexa's green eyes met hers and there was a look of raw love there. She felt like she could always read Lexa by her eyes, no matter how stoic she appeared and she wondered if Lexa could do the same with her. She hoped so but Lexa had seemed to doubt the love she held and she needed her to know that her feelings had not changed. Lexa was her love.

'It's not safe here now.' Clarke whispered, Lexa's lips centimeters from her own.

Lexa's gaze flickered over Clarke's face and Clarke shivered as Lexa's nimble fingers traced her cheek bone lightly. Lexa's eyes finally met hers again before she spoke and Clarke struggled to keep her grip against the door and not surge forwards; they had to face this.

'It was one lone raider, when I was not here. I assure you, Clarke, it will take much more than that to threaten my life.' Lexa whispered.

Clarke was vaguely aware of her need to argue and that they should be doing more to make sure TonDC was protected and Lexa was safe, but she trembled as the tip of Lexa's finger ran the length of her bottom lip and Lexa's lips then latched onto her own. Clarke moaned as Lexa's hands both cupped her face and encouraged the deepening of the kiss that Clarke so longed for. Clarke pulled Lexa by the waist and closer to her so that there was a loud knock as Clarke's back slammed against the door and Lexa used the moment to press her thigh between Clarke's legs.

'Fuck, Lexa...'

Clarke ground down on Lexa's leg, desperate to feel her and to ease some of the tension. She had waited for this for so long and it was Lexa's turn to moan as Clarke bit at her bottom lip and she gripped Lexa's hips, pulling her ever closer.

Clarke hissed in appreciation as Lexa's fingers began to work their way under her shirt, the tips tracing along her stomach. Frustration grew as she could feel Lexa's leather gloves that covered most of her hands; she needed all of Lexa. Clarke pulled them into a tighter embrace once more and Lexa understood, lifting Clarke up slightly so that she was weighted against the door and Lexa's thigh beneath her. Clarke gasped as she moved against Lexa's leg with greater urgency.

Clarke quickly broke the kiss and buried her head in Lexa's shoulder as there was a loud knock at the door. For one second, Clarke thought they'd simply caused it with their actions but Clarke felt the door knock against her and she knew it was one of Lexa's guards. Clarke stifled a laugh at the look of supreme irritation on Lexa's face.

'What is it?' Lexa answered angrily.

'Indra wishes to speak with you.' A guard called through the door.

Clarke bit her lower lip and ground down upon Lexa's leg once more. Lexa's attention immediately snapped back to her she did not miss the twitch of Lexa's fingers against her stomach, clearly desperate to abandon her duties as Heda. Clarke's hands rose and unclasped the shoulder armour and it fell loudly to the floor.

'Heda?' The guard called but Lexa never took her eyes off Clarke.

Clarke pulled Lexa's shirt down around her shoulder and began to leave a trail of kisses. Lexa's hips instantly rocked into Clarke when Clarke's tongue met her throat and they both moaned at the contact.

'Lexa,' Clarke whispered in a thick voice between kisses up her neck, 'I really don't care even if the world is ending.'

Clarke pressed against Lexa's thigh again and Lexa hummed against her kisses.

'I need you.'

Lexa pulled off her gloves quickly and her hands ran under Clarke's shirt and cupped her breasts. Clarke's head fell into Lexa's shoulder again under the administration and she leaned her chest into Lexa's hands.

'I'm not to be disturbed.' Lexa ordered and Clarke couldn't help but be amazed at how composed Lexa had sounded when she was simply a wanton mess against Lexa's touches.

'Clarke,'

Clarke was intoxicated when Lexa called her name. It was so vulnerable and so completely consumed with love and lust. She wanted to whisper a thousand different ways of how she loved her but when one of Lexa's hands dropped from her breasts and her fingers met Clarke's core, she couldn't utter more than a string of curses. Clarke moved against Lexa's hand, all composure forgotten. She needed Lexa and Lexa needed her too as her fingers slipped deep inside Clarke quickly so that Clarke let out her lowest moan yet.

Clarke urged Lexa on, knowing how it was in her nature to always be so tender and loving with Clarke but they had simply waited too long for this moment. Clarke's hips were frantic and Lexa wasn't even trying to be quiet, neither caring about the guards outside or even the rest of TonDC. Clarke pleaded Lexa on through her first orgasm and Lexa would never not give her all that she wanted as Clarke cried out and spluttered against the door as she fell back from her second orgasm in quick succession.

Clarke was panting heavily but she lifted herself off the door and spun Lexa around unsteadily. She quickly got on her knees and pulled Lexa's skirt up and seized her underwear so it was down to her knees.

'Clarke,'

Lex was panting as Clarke's fingers ran lightly up the inside of Lexa's thigh. Clarke smirked. It had always been Lexa's weak spot and she saw as her legs trembled. Lexa was soaking and Clarke didn't hesitate to bring her mouth to Lexa's core. She was still spent and yet she could not stop. It was a wild, primal desire that coursed through her and Lexa almost fell as Clarke's lips connected with her and Clarke quickly threw Lexa's leg over her shoulder to steady her.

Lexa's loud moans morphed into desperate chants of Clarke's name as Clarke took everything Lexa offered. Clarke's tongue ran through her folds and Clarke continued to moan as loudly as when Lexa had been inside of her. Lexa seemed to lose all sense of control at the noise and the touch and Clarke moved to suck on her clit. Lexa released a choked gasp and she lowered herself into Clarke's mouth and Clarke simply devoured her.

Clarke held Lexa firmly in place as her body was wracked with pleasure and Lexa slumped against the door. Clarke pressed a final bout of kisses to Lexa's thigh before standing up and capturing Lexa's lips. Lexa sighed contentedly as she tasted herself and Clarke wrapped her arms around her.

'There is a bed here.' Lexa pointed out quietly as they broke apart from their kiss.

'So you don't want to go see what Indra wants?' Clarke smirked.

'Indra?' Lexa asked, confusion clouding her eyes and Clarke chortled.

'Don't worry about it.' Clarke laughed. 'She can definitely wait.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a fun chapter as Clexa have been apart a while (although obviously they will always have the Flame) and there's usually sad stuff every other chapter so I thought I'd give them both a break. Also, thoughts on Wick and Raven? To be or not to be? That is the question...


	61. Being Heda

Clarke blinked awake as the bright sun broke her sleep. She pulled Lexa's arms tighter around her and smiled as she felt Lexa's mouth press against the base of her neck. It had been months since they had awakened together like this. Clarke rolled over to get out of the sun's path and snuggled in closer to Lexa. Lexa's fingers ran up and down her back and Clarke hummed happily.

They stayed like this for a long time and Clarke wondered if Lexa would ever speak but she realised that perhaps Lexa was fearful to in case the spell was broken. Clarke had spent so little time with her, her focus on keeping Lexa safe and the clinic running had driven Clarke impossibly from her and Clarke knew that Lexa would wait forever for Clarke to come back to her. Lexa always let Clarke do what was right for her.

 'You're beautiful.' Clarke said, her voice still thick from tiredness.

She felt Lexa's body relax further still and she was sure the other woman was smiling.

'Can I come with you today?'

'Of course.' Lexa replied, her voice slightly weak.

'Thank you.' Clarke sighed.

* * *

 

Octavia sat down opposite Murphy at one of the benches outside the tavern.

'Seen Clarke?' She asked and Murphy smirked.

'I doubt anyone has for a while.'

Octavia grimaced slightly.

'So you're coming?'

'You sound so surprised.' Murphy replied and Octavia shrugged.

'It's just rare for you to do anything selfless.'

'I'm not.' Murphy replied. 'Lexa and Clarke look out for me, I look out for them.'

'Good.' Octavia replied seriously. 'I don't trust Rosar.'

'You and me both.' Murphy replied. 'But she's too weak to do anything. Lexa considers everything. We've got the information we need, Lexa's prepared and she's not going to bat an eye if the Ice Nation spy accidentally gets shot with an arrow.'

Octavia's eyes flashed with a dangerous mirth.

'Clarke's more into slitting throats and if Rosar keeps hitting on Lexa that's exactly what will happen.'

'No way.' Murphy shook his head. 'Lexa's about an inch from dragging Rosar up to the tallest cliff and booting her off herself.'

* * *

 

Indra and Rosar made their way back into TonDc, glad to be done with gathering reports from the scouts and spies they had.

'At least everything will be ready for this afternoon.' Rosar commented.

'Are you really willing to slaughter your own people?' Indra questioned skeptically.

'Our leader will be slaughtering them.'

There was glee behind Rosar's words. Indra realised what a menace Nia must have been to her people to raise such blood thirsty warriors, but then Ontari should have provided that insight all along.

Indra hated Azgeda. So many of their warriors had taken people from her. At one point, it seemed as though the war between Trikru and Azgeda would never end but then Lexa ascended and peace was brought upon both clans. The chaos of the radiation, and of the King's incompetency had challenged everyone. He'd barely been able to maintain their lands before the borders began to break up and so Azgeda were happily coming and going as they please. Indra was aching to take back the fallen village and she was sure Lexa would wreak havoc upon them for what should be considered an act of war but Rosar was an unknown.

Indra had kept her close on Lexa's orders and she was glad of Octavia's contempt towards the Azgeda rat when it meant that she was out of her line of vision. Keeping distance would likely keep Octavia safer. Lexa was playing a dangerous game with someone so unstable. She hoped that the Commander was not letting her propensity for optimism in place of pragmatic cynicism get in the way again. It had almost cost her life with jus no drein jus daun.

* * *

 

'Finally emerged then?' Murphy smirked as Clarke sat next to him and Lexa opposite her.

'Shut up, Murphy.' Clarke replied swiftly. 'Where's Octavia?'

'You just missed her. Sky warrior's off getting the horses and equipment ready.'

'We shall leave in an hour.' Lexa told him and Murphy nodded but then put his goblet down and swore.

Lexa looked perplexed but Clarke followed his line of vision and frowned. She continued to glare as Rosar drew closer although even she did not dare sit uninvited next to the Commander and Clarke struggled not to smirk.

'Is there any further information?' Lexa asked nonchalantly.

'No...' Rosar started.

'Then you really have no business here.' Murphy smirked.

Rosar looked furiously at Clarke and Clarke knew the act itself was a question of why she was allowed to be here but that only brought a greater smirk to her face. When Murphy pointedly continued to stare and Lexa ignored her existence all together, Rosar finally turned and stormed off.

'I have never liked you more.' Clarke teased, knocking her shoulder against Murphy's.

Murphy looked nervously at Lexa.

'Am I in trouble?'

'Murphy, that is the best thing you have ever done.' Lexa replied and Clarke laughed.

'I thought you'd kill me because we need to keep our spies onside.'

'I'm Heda. She does what I command.' Lexa dismissed.

'Let's hope so.' Murphy muttered, and he excused himself and went inside the tavern.

'I hope he doesn't get drunk before this afternoon.' Clarke mused but she knew very well that he would not; Murphy liked a sarcastic comment but he was no fool: surviving always came first with him. 'How has he been since Emori?'

'Upset.' Lexa replied. 'He doesn't talk about her often- he hardly spoke of her when she was living- but he carries her with him.'

'I should have been a better friend to him.' Clarke said quietly.

'We all must learn how to live with grief in our own way.' Lexa replied. 'There was never much you could do for him.'

'He never blamed us. I always waited for him too but he never did.' Clarke confessed.

'Murphy understands what this life demands.' Lexa replied. 'You were right. I'm glad to have kept him as the Flame Keeper.'

'He doesn't interrupt us half as much as Titus did.' Clarke mused and Lexa smirked.

'He does not.' She agreed.

Clarke was pleasantly surprised when Lexa reached across and took her hand. Lexa usually let Clarke set the tone. Lexa was always patient and would take anything that Clarke gave her. Lexa had never been shy of her feelings; she had quickly embraced the depth and power of them and certainly more so than Clarke had but she was always respectful. Clarke knew she could act like a force of nature; she'd always just barged into Lexa's quarters at Polis, had always been the one to challenge Lexa and Lexa matched her at every turn but usually with quiet reverence and respect. There was something unshakably stoic about Lexa and Clarke so often felt she was falling through her grief, with nothing but Lexa to hang onto.

'I don't think we can fix it.' Clarke said quietly and then elaborated when she saw the fear in Lexa's eyes. 'My mother and I.'

Lexa looked pained at the revelation and stroked Clarke's hand with her thumb.

Clarke was fearful of needing to return to Arkadia. She had deliberately set the clinic up within an hour's reach of where Lexa was staying and yet far enough from Arkadia that she had the perfect excuse not to visit unless necessary.

Something had shattered between them. Clarke didn't even know if she had the energy to repair it. Half of the time she felt hot anger that her mother was so disgusted with her and she was downright protective when it came to Lexa, and the other half of the time she just felt defeated. They were two completely different people now and Clarke found herself further away than ever from her mother's influence or the need to impress her remaining parent. She recognised now that she had no limits. The worst had passed when she had been forced to stab her own father in the City of Light. Whatever happened with her mother she knew she would survive it.

'I was so angry with her for so long. I did a lot of things out of spite so I think when it came to doing what I needed to all she saw was the rage that I had been carrying before and she thought she was looking at a monster.' Clarke told her. 'I don't know what's worse: the fact she might be right or that I've done all of these things and I don't feel like I am.'

'You're not a monster, Clarke. Abby will see that too.'

'I could have fixed it, so many times. When we found each other again, after she was freed from ALIE's control but I just didn't. Everytime I walked away.'

'You can't live for other people, Clarke. You can't walk in the shadows of the dream they have for you. Everything you have done has been out of love.'

'So I need to stop running?' Clarke smiled, remembering both Lexa's and Raven's words.

'You never need run from who you are.'

'You're running too.' Clarke said quietly and her eyes locked with Lexa's questioning gaze.

'You did not wish me to return to Polis.' Lexa replied slowly.

'I didn't want you to give up everything though.' Clarke countered.

'I have not relinquished anything.'

Clarke leaned closer in her chair.

'You're their Heda, our Heda, we would follow you anywhere. It's not right that this is your life.'

'And how many more people would die?' Lexa asked. 'I know you want to fix this, Clarke but you can't. My people view me as both leader and traitor. It is not a good mindset to be sent to war with.'

Clarke sat back but her hand never left Lexa's. She looked across at TonDC. She had remembered how hurt Lexa had been at watching TonDC burn thanks to the Mountain Men. Lexa had always wanted peace, even when it meant that she would take the deal with the Mountain Men. Everything with Lexa had been to avoid war. She was also no fool. She knew that only herself and Luna remained of the Nightbloods. If she died, then any claim for a new Heda would fall. They'd be in an even more complicated situation and Azgeda could use that to their own advantage but it wasn't right. Clarke loathed that Lexa had to give up everything again, that her life was put on hold because of what came with being Heda. Lexa should proudly embrace who she is and live the life she wants. She would be as strong and great a Heda as she ever was.

'We need you.' Clarke said finally looking back to Lexa.

'Heda,' Indra said and Lexa turned behind her, 'it's time.'

Lexa looked back to Clarke and Clarke recognised her contemplation before Lexa nodded and signaled for them all to depart.

* * *

 

Miller joined Monty on the grass in the grounds of Arkadia. They stared out at the settlement for a few quiet moments. Monty looked tired and defeated. Children were running around playing as though they had no cares in the whole world which contrasted greatly to the turmoil in Monty's eyes.

'I just miss him.' Monty said, breaking the silence.

'Me too.'

'I should have done more.' Monty said.

'Like what?' Miller questioned and Monty shrugged.

'Not argued with Azgeda. Been a better friend to him when he needed me.'

'You were always there if he needed you and he always knew it.' Miller told him sincerely.

'Well, I need him now.' Monty sighed. 'And he's just gone.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Thanks as every for reading, giving kudos and comments :) It was nice to get a proper Clexa conversation in before all hell no doubt breaks loose again.


	62. Unspoken Vows

Raven threw down her pencil in annoyance.

'I'm going to go get the little gremlin.' She sulked to Wick. 'He should have been here by now.'

'Give the kid a break. It's probably the first chance he's got to enjoy himself.' Wick urged her.

'Nobody gets to have fun in this life, Wick.' She told him before storming out of engineering.

Raven made her way onto the grounds. She quickly spotted Miller with Monty and went over to them.

'You guys seen Zoran?' She asked and Monty nodded his head across the grounds.

Raven turned and her heart plummeted. Zoran was standing in front of two other Skaikru kids, looking uncertain, as they grabbed their faces and kept repeatedly slumping to the floor, screaming, as though they were dying from radiation burns. Anger rose in the pit of Raven's stomach for Zoran and for making light of a situation that had literally sent Clarke running into the woods. They had no idea.

Raven made her way over furiously.

'Hey, Zoran. I need your help with something.' Raven said kindly.

He started when he heard her voice and Raven didn't miss the tears in his eyes.

'What is it?'

His voice was muffled, either from the tunic or struggling not to cry.

'Wick and I are working on how to send power to the rest of the ground and we need you to help us figure it out.'

'You want to send power to the grounders?' One of the kids asked with condescension.

'Yes.' Raven hissed dangerously.

'We can help you.' The other kid offered.

'Sorry, but I need someone with a brain.' Raven said, turning back to Zoran. 'Come on, kid. They can play with themselves. We've got a world to save.'

* * *

 

Lexa, Clarke, Murphy, Octavia, Indra and Rosar looked down upon the village of Bow, readying to make their move.

'If there's one thing my brother taught me it's that a little chaos can be beneficial.' Octavia smirked.

'A disorganised enemy will stand no chance. Their numbers will not save them.' Lexa replied.

'We've already killed the scouts.' Indra pointed out.

'They won't be expecting anything else. By slaughtering Trikru they wanted to keep this quiet.' Rosar informed them.

'Cowards.' Octavia spat.

'Save your anger for the fight. They will soon stare into the face of death.' Indra snarled.

'No.' Lexa said firmly.

'Heda?'  Indra questioned.

'Any who stand in our way dies. The rest are to be prisoners.' Lexa said and she glanced at Clarke who was wearing a small smile. ' _Blood must not have blood_ has not died. We need to build peace.'

'Peace? With Azgeda?' Octavia questioned cynically.

'Those are my orders.'

'We should take them to Arkadia.' Clarke said. 'We have the facilities there to keep them prisoners without fear of escape. Trikru have been the most hurt by them so it guarantees their safety to keep them in less hostile territory.'

Lexa felt a rush of pride at Clarke. Clarke's rash and impulsive heart had such explosive power. It was a product of how deeply she loved but so often the person she hurt was herself. Clarke had been devastated by the destruction of the clinic and by the death of her friend. Her first impulse had been to make Azgeda suffer, but time to plan had clearly given Clarke enough space to be able to work through it. She knew Clarke would still want justice and rightly so but it was a considerable comfort to know that perhaps Clarke was breaking the habit of running from one tragedy to another.

'Like Lincoln was imprisoned?' Octavia asked.

'They won't be trapped in a cage twenty four seven. They'll be given as much privacy as possible. This is just until the situation is resolved.' Clarke answered.

Lexa nodded. It was the best plan they had and would reinforce the strong ties between Skaikru and Trikru. Skaikru would accept it; Clarke was their leader regardless of whether she was there or not. The majority would always follow her.

Lexa glanced to Indra and she understood the signal. She left with Octavia and waited silently, knowing they were getting themselves in position at the far end of the village.

'No sign?' Murphy asked.

'We do not require one.'

Indra was a skilled enough warrior that it was not faith that Lexa held in her but sound judgement that dictated her confidence. She would be ready.

Lexa, Clarke and Murphy drew their blades. It was the first time that Clarke had one ready for combat of this nature. She had trained with a blade at Polis and been forced to face Bellamy with a sword but she had not readily gone into a fight with one before, yet no nerves were visible and her grip was firm.

'It was easier when we had a gun.' Murphy noted darkly.

'They've caused us enough problems.' Clarke replied. 'We follow Lexa's way.'

Lexa nodded to Rosar and she pulled out an arrow and Clarke moved forwards and pulled out the lighter device and set the arrow alight.

'Thank God for Raven.' Murphy commented.

'She was inspired by Anya in the City of Light.' Clarke smirked. 'She figured it could help us fire flaming arrows from the clinic if we needed.'

'So why didn't you in the end?'

'Because neither of us can shoot from a bow and the clinic was made of wood, Murphy.' Clarke pointed out.

'Oh. Good point.'

Rosar took aim as they spoke and fired across the village and it flew through a window and a building quickly was engulfed in flames.

'It's nice when it happens to someone else's meat supply.' Murphy remarked.

'Let's not hang around too long.' Clarke muttered and Lexa agreed.

People fled to the food supply and quickly tried to throw dirty over it. A well lay in the middle of the village but it would be of little use. Octavia blew Lincoln's horn in the distance and there was a scream of fear from the Azgeda settlers.

Lexa led them down the banking and Rosar fired along the outskirts at any raiders waiting as they slipped into the village. Lexa charged forwards and several warriors stepped to meet her but one was instantly hit with Rosar's arrow and fell to the ground and Lexa swiftly took down the remaining two with Clarke and Murphy following closely behind.

The billowing smoke and fallen warriors had left the village in a state of utter confusion so that once they spotted the commotion, those who tried to run realised far too late that they were being met with both Indra and Octavia who had taken down the raiders with ease. Only one managed to flee and the rest of the village was now trapped between the two groups. The threat of arrows which landed menacingly inches away from the Azgeda residents was enough to have them collapse to the ground on their knees with their hands raised.

Lexa, Murphy, Clarke, Octavia and Indra formed a tight circle around them and waited as Rosar went from building to building dragging any stragglers to them. It was a process that took nearly an hour and Lexa remained for the entire time until Rosar confirmed that this was everyone.

Lexa watched them all closely. All of them wore furs or had some trace of a white scar. The only conclusion was that they had murdered every one of the Trikru villagers, even the children.

Her heart broke at the pain of what Trikru had been put through. She had known this village when it was at its best. She had been proud of their support and now they had been slaughtered by Azgeda. She glanced at Clarke whose eyes were narrowed and she knew that Clarke was deciphering the same meaning behind the clothes and scars. Lexa had demanded Finn's blood for the massacre of TonDC but she had now committed herself to _blood must not have blood_. It was the only way to secure any kind of future for her people, and she still had a responsibility towards Azgeda and to bring peace for them as much as the other clans. The King would have to face the price of his cowardice, however.

'What did you do with the bodies?'

It was not a request, Lexa commanded an answer.

'They were burnt.'

'Echo?' Octavia asked, her eyes narrowed towards the speaker. 'She was the one who told us the Ice Nation was going to attack the summit.'

'Then she will also answer for her crimes against Skaikru.' Lexa retorted. 'You will be transported to Arkadia and imprisoned there. Your lives, such as they are, will be spared but you will not remain free. Azgeda's time as the reaper of the clans is at an end.

'You can't do this to us!' An Azgeda warrior hissed.

'Anyone who tries to stop it will pay with their life.'

Indra ran her blade along the neck of the one who had challenged Lexa and he swallowed nervously. It was enough to silence them for now.

Murphy and Octavia bound the hands together of all of the Azgeda villagers whose numbers were at forty seven. It took hours as Octavia and Murphy searched the village for whatever they could find, whether rope or chains, to bind them together. They turned to her when they were finished but Lexa did not move.

'Now Rosar.' Lexa told them and Murphy looked at her in glee.

'What did you say?' Rosar hissed.

'One of Azgeda escaped. If they saw you aiding us then your people will demand your head for such treachery. It is for your protection. You will be safe and free within Arkadia.' Lexa explained calmly.

'I don't need protection.' Rosar shouted, outraged but Octavia spun her blade in her hand as though desperate to shed her blood and Rosar was forced to comply.

Octavia bound Rosar to the rest of the Azgeda prisoners and Indra called for them to move out. This new move may well have forced the hand of a terrified and dangerous king.

* * *

 

Clarke fell in step with Lexa at the back of this most unlikely pack as they drew closer to Arkadia. Indra had led from the front with Murphy and Octavia taking opposite sides. Clarke didn't want to think about what her mother's reaction was going to be or if there was even room to keep them all. They'd have to figure all that out later.

'You're returning?' Lexa asked softly.

'I'll have to sort this out.' Clarke said, albeit flatly.

Silence fell over them once more and Clarke fought the urge to cry. It was selfish of her. She had closed herself off from everyone but she didn't want to be apart from Lexa anymore. She was sick and tired of not being able to just live.

She would go back to her. She had to. She would sort this and then return to Lexa's side. Kane was the chancellor after all. He didn't need her and the clinic was gone. Raven would be disappointed but perhaps she would come to. They could do with her brains.

'I have something for you.' Lexa said, freeing Clarke from her thoughts.

'What is it?' Clarke asked in surprise.

Lexa paused for a second before pulling a pouch from the inside of her boot.

'You kept whatever it is in your boot?' Clarke questioned amused.

'Clarke,' Lexa sighed exasperatedly, 'I didn't want to lose them.'

Clarke stifled her laugh as for some reason Lexa seemed incredibly nervous. Lexa opened the pouch and pulled something miniscule out before dropping it in Clarke's hand. Clarke stared at it for a whole second before turning to Lexa who was decidedly looking ahead and not at Clarke. Clarke turned back to the gold band in her hand and again flicked her gaze back to Lexa. She continued to stare until Lexa finally felt she had to break the silence.

'If you want to wear it then you can.' Lexa said, offhand.

Clarke smiled tenderly and slipped it on.

'I-'

'Heda, we are here!' Indra called from the front and Lexa came to a halt.

Lexa could not walk safely into the grounds of Arkadia. There was still so much anger and it would be Clarke and Octavia to lead the prisoners inside. Octavia ran to the front and the prisoners carried on and Clarke felt annoyance that her time had rapidly run out.

Lexa turned back to head into the forest but Clarke spun around to her.

'Hey,' She said and Lexa turned back to her, 'you know I love you, right?'

'I know.' Lexa replied and Clarke's heart ached at the sadness that lingered between those words.

Clarke watched as Lexa turned back to head to TonDC until she was finally out of sight and Octavia was already going through the gates of Arkadia. Clarke looked at the settlement she was forced to call home and tried to ignore the bitterness that swept through her.

'May we meet again.' She whispered to herself, before heading back through those towering gates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I'm sorry for the slow update but I've been a bit unwell and then I had to interview someone today for the LGBTQ+ magazine I write for so I've fallen a bit behind. Hopefully there shall be a new chapter up later.
> 
> Major spoilers: I'm just reiterating for the 11 millionth time that Lexa and Clarke aren't going to die. They've got some *really* intense chapters ahead of them where they stare death in the face but they will get through it. I don't want to queerbait anyone though so the reassurance is there is you have wanted to read this spoiler. It would be unrealistic if they never faced any life or death moments (and obviously I've already had Clarke and Bell duel) but they will come through it so please don't worry. :) The chapters are there for emotion but not to give anyone a heart attack through fear of that ridiculous trope being repeated.


	63. No Pain in Certainty

'We can't keep them all here, Clarke.' Kane said as they stood in the central command room of Arkadia. 'There just isn't the room.'

Her arrival to Arkadia hadn't exactly been met with open arms. Octavia had not been helpful; she'd simply dropped off the prisoners and then left. She couldn't exactly blame her; Lincoln had died here and even when she had been Chancellor she had still resented what had happened. Too many bad memories lay here for Octavia. When she was leader, she had tried to change things. It had been disastrous but she had something to hold onto and now she had nothing. Clarke understood but she was also envious that she couldn't go running right back out of Arkadia with her. 

Clarke glanced at her mother and then back to Kane.

'Does she have to be here?'

'Clarke-'

'No, Mom. I don't want to hear whatever disappointment you think I am. I need to talk to the Chancellor about how we are going to fix this.'

'Your mother is one of the most respected members of Skaikru.' Kane reminded her.

'You wouldn't let anyone else sit in.' Clarke pointed out.

'Clarke, it's not right to keep them here-' Abby started by Clarke cut her off.

'They murdered an entire Trikru village. Forget whatever you think about me and what I've done to Azgeda raiders, a whole village was wiped out. Trikru have always tried to help us.'

Abby snorted.

'The whole problem has been valuing certain lives over others, Clarke.'

'Yeah, I do value certain lives more. I value Lexa who spared us all when Bellamy and Pike massacred her warriors, I value the innocent lives of Trikru that were taken by thieves and murderers and I value anyone who they might hurt in the future.' Clarke argued fiercely. 'I'm not asking for anything other than them being kept here. I don't care if you give them work or let them run around the damn grounds all day. As long as they are contained then that's all that matters and if you care so much about all damn lives then recognise that this is for their own good because there are plenty within Trikru that are desperate to see them dead.'

Abby and Kane exchanged worried looks and Clarke knew that she had won.

* * *

 

Murphy entered Lexa's shelter with Indra. Candles flickered bringing a yellow glow that Lexa found soothing into the room. It was so much darker in the woods of Trikru than it had been at Polis. She thought of Clarke and whether she would be managing to get any sleep at all. The corridors of Arkadia always seemed to haunt her and make her nightmares worse.

'Heda,' Indra greeted and Lexa nodded solemnly, 'I know what you are planning.'

Murphy looked quizzical but Lexa did not dismiss him. He had earned the right to stay.

'Heda, it is too dangerous a ploy.' Indra urged.

'It would get me inside Polis.'

'If Azgeda can wait. They hardly seem to have any will power at all when it comes to death.'

'What's going on?' Murphy asked but Lexa looked away; she knew what was coming. 'You can't be serious! You're giving yourself up?'

Murphy may have earned the right to stay but he had none to question her decisions. The simple truth was that to end this she had to get close to the King, and without an army then there was only one way: be caught and dragged to him.

'Even Clarke would think this plan sucked.' Murphy retorted.

'Clarke is in no position to have any say in this. I've made up my mind.' Lexa said with commanding authority but Murphy did not shrink back, on the contrary, his rage rose as much as Lexa's.

'Even if they drag you to the King he will cut off your head. You're good, Lexa but you'll be chained up or worse. You'll be completely powerless and trust me when I say that isn't a position you want to be in.'

'If that is what must pass then so be it.' Lexa told him. 'If my blood is spilled then at least the King can rule with authority and he can bring an end to the instability.'

'You're the reason there was ever stability in the first place!'

'And now my very existence is a great cause of its weakening. Trikru remain loyal while all the other clans have turned against me. They need a leader, any leader.'

'What do you think will happen to Skaikru? To Clarke?' Murphy shouted desperately.

'Skaikru are holding Azgeda warriors. They are bound by the fate of Trikru as Clarke is bound to me. The longer this is drawn out the worse danger they are in. The King is not Nia. He is not vengeful. Everything he has done is because he is a coward. He wants power but not war.'

'You can't get one without the other.' Murphy replied.

'As long as the spirit of the Commander exists then he will never truly have power. I will do all that I can to overthrow him but if I cannot then my broken body will not stop my spirit or the power of Heda.' Lexa replied calmly.

Murphy opened his mouth to retort but Lexa turned to Indra whose features were etched in admiration and Lexa was taken aback; it had been quite some time since Indra had looked upon her with such an expression.

'Indra, I'm sorry but you know what I must ask you. It needs to look convincing.' Lexa told her sadly. 'You swore your life to serve Trikru and also myself. I won't have innocents die.'

'I will do my duty, Commander.' Indra told her proudly. 'For you and Trikru.'

'Then let us begin plans.' Lexa said but Indra stepped forward to the table and poured wine into two goblets from a pitcher.

'No, Lexa.' Indra smiled. 'Let us finally share a drink together first and then we may plan.'

A trace of a smile grazed Lexa's lips and she took the goblet from Indra's outstretched hand. Murphy stepped back with exasperated energy but Indra ignored his existence.

' _For the people we love_.' Lexa declared and she raised the goblet to her lips and her mind ran back to Clarke leading her away from the feast all those months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Indra and Lexa are finally united...and it's only taken possibly the worst plan ever. Let's see if Murphy interferes or if Clarke finds out...


	64. We Are What We Are

Murphy drank from the bottle of wine, some of it running down his chin as Lexa sat down next to him on the stone floor. He held the bottle out for her but she shook her head. If she was going to sacrifice herself then he really wasn't all that interested in trying to look maintain the act of appearing as a decent Flame Keeper.

'If this is the speech where you tell me to look after Clarke then save it.' Murphy drawled. 'You want her safe then you look after her.'

Lexa smiled to herself.

'I do not need to.'

Murphy took another big gulp of wine at her vague and enraging response. Murphy glanced at Lexa but she stared ahead at the wall. Murphy wondered if she had disappeared off into the Flame again. Maybe Clarke would find out everything that way and talk her out of it but he knew that Lexa would not tell her. Besides, Lexa seemed perfectly composed and still here in this world.

Murphy grew steadily more annoyed with Lexa's silence but she seemed content to wait to let him break the silence. He spitefully wondered that if he refused to say anything whether she would stay sat there forever but soon the silence grew too painful.

'I don't want to do it alone.' He confessed.

A single tear dropped from Murphy's face and let a dark spot on the stone floor. He brushed his eyes and felt Lexa's stare burning into him.

Lexa and Clarke had given him a chance at life again. He didn't have to run around playing the thief or the hopeless criminal. He'd hated watching Clarke leave as she was lost within her own gief and self loathing but staying with Lexa, serving Lexa, had given him purpose and he had come to see what was so inspiring about the Heda.

'Tell me about her.' Lexa said softly.

'She had hope.' Murphy said, struggling to control his voice because he hadn't spoken of her since she died. 'I know it sounds stupid because she was a liar and a thief but she did. She used what she had when she could and she never gave up.'

He wiped his eyes again and took a steadying breath.

'You loved her?' Lexa asked tenderly.

'Yes.'

'You would do anything for her?'

'Yes.'

'That does not stop because she is gone.'

Murphy finally looked at Lexa and saw the pain in her eyes and he thought that maybe he understood; the future of Lexa and Clarke together may be gone but that did not stop her love or her commitment. She had to do what was right even if everything and everyone else was telling her not to. It was Clarke's damn _love is strength_ mantra all over again and Murphy hated it and yet he wanted to embrace it. Lexa and Clarke were the only true friends he had left.

* * *

 

Clarke sighed, aggravated before rising from her bed. She couldn't focus on disappearing. She was sure Lexa was still awake and had devoted her attention on some task but Clarke had no idea what. After today Lexa should be resting. She was superbly irritated and couldn't help but feel slightly abandoned as hypocritical as she knew that made her.

She got ready quickly and made her way to medical. It was relatively empty except for one Trikru warrior and two of Azgeda, who had been attacked by Trikru earlier in the day and were not part of Lexa's raid on the village. Clarke couldn't help but feel discomfort that they were here. Azgeda were desperate for Lexa's head and no matter what their reasons or intent, the only thing Clarke wanted was to protect Lexa.

Clarke made her way to her mother's office and knocked on the door twice. She stepped in when her mother shouted 'enter'.

'Hi.' Abby said, in surprise.

'I couldn't sleep.' Clarke explained. 'I can manage things here if you want.'

'That's kind of you.' Abby said uncertainly, and Clarke struggled not to roll her eyes; she'd covered enough times for her mother back on the Ark, but everything was different now.

Abby, however, did not go to leave and as Clarke scratched her arm, Abby's eyes narrowed and finally took in the gold band. Clarke waited for a response or question about the item but it never came.

'I was sorry about Jasper.'

'Me too.' Clarke replied quietly but not quite sure of her mother's intentions with the direction of the conversation. 

'Did you kill them?' Abby asked and Clarke could feel the fear in her voice at the answer.

Clarke shrugged, indifferent.

'I killed the warriors who came to attack us at the clinic. I don't know if they killed Jasper.'

'What did you do with them?'

'Buried them. I shot them so it could be seen as an act of war. We had to hide them.'

'We?'

'Lexa and I.' Clarke explained. 'And Murphy.'

Clarke could immediately tell her mother was disappointed in her lack of empathy but Clarke could barely bring herself to care. She carried enough guilt over killing Maya and the people of Mount Weather and the Trikru soldiers who then fought by her side in the City of Light, she wouldn't care for murdering people who wanted her dead.

'I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm going back to Lexa. You won't have to deal with me then.' Clarke sighed, turning back for the door.

'Clarke, wait,' her mother said desperately and Clarke allowed herself to turn back and face her mother,  'I know you want to be with Lexa but please don't go tomorrow. Just spend one day here.'

'One day won't make any difference.' Clarke replied dully; they were beyond fixing things between them.

'Have you forgotten what day it is?' Abby asked, hurt and Clarke's brow furrowed.

'I don't even know what day of the week it is.' Clarke confessed, after a moment's thought.

'It's a Tuesday and tomorrow is my birthday.' Abby replied.

Clarke was lost for words. A birthday shouldn't matter but she couldn't help the guilt that she had forgot. Her mother had always gone all out for birthdays and Clarke had never understood why. There was never much exciting to life on the Ark.

'It would just be nice if we could spend one day together.' Abby said.

Clarke shifted uncomfortably on her feet. She just wanted to get back to Lexa. She was sick of this distance. The secondary Flame was a perfect kind of torture; she could be with Lexa but she didn't know if Lexa was safe. It wasn't enough and Clarke also had no intention of returning to Arkadia. She had told Raven such and she was figuring out where her future lay right now but Clarke's decision was set. She would not come back here.

'Okay. One day.' Clarke agreed and her mother offered her a slight smile and gripped her arm briefly as she walked by Clarke and out of medical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI all. Nearly the weekend so hope you're all hanging in there! I miss actually being able to get excited for the weekends but I always have work extremely early on a Sunday so I get to stare enviously at everyone's texts about how much of a lazy day they're having :P 
> 
> Thank you all as ever for comments, kudos and just sticking with it. As you can probably guess it's going to get dark soon but I promise it won't last forever and if you survived me making O force Bell and Clarke to fight to the death then you'll get through the next few chapters just fine ;) Plus, if it's any consolation, next week I should be starting a happy AU fic (although it will be updated about once a week) so you can indulge in that if this gets you down!


	65. Born of Trikru

Lexa and Indra headed out before dawn and made their way north west. A raider camp had been spotted twenty kilometers away so they walked silently through the forest.

Lexa was somehow strangely aware of the gold band on her finger that occasionally slid slightly against her glove, but not enough to threaten to fall off. Her mind was clear for this plan so she took it as no strange sign of warning but she inevitably ended up focusing upon Clarke. She hoped for Clarke's sake more than her own that this plan could somehow work and the King would end up greeting death. Clarke had dealt with enough grief, but Lexa had to try to protect Clarke and her people no matter the cost. Clarke could survive it.

They climbed a small bank and lay flat across it looking down at the reasonably sized camp. There were two dozen of Azgeda that Lexa could count but more would be within the tents.

She spared a look at Indra whose eyes were trained intently on the warriors. This was second nature to her and she had not seemed in the least bit hesitant. The fear of death had dictated so much of their life on the ground and she had seen that plainly by watching Clarke's descent into turmoil. Every rash and impulsive decision Clarke had made had been because of the fear of death. Clarke had become more familiar with grounder culture precisely because of that drive to survive. Yet here Indra lay, her breaths measured and calm, ready and willing to give her life for Lexa and Trikru.

Indra had despised Lexa for so long. When Lexa had been younger, nothing had ever quite been good enough when the hopes of Trikru's glory lay on her shoulders. Anya had been the one to guide her, to mentor her, to listen to her stories and fears. Anya had foretold of a time when Lexa could command Indra but Lexa had never thought it would be to march to death like this. In a war perhaps, but not to sacrifice life so willingly as part of a wider plan.

'I am ready, Heda.' Indra murmured as though reading her thoughts and Lexa wondered if she could by now after all these years, and Lexa nodded.

Indra and Lexa both rose to their knees and crouched below the branches, pulling out their bows. It had to look convincing. It had to look as though they were taking back the lands of Trikru and they simply failed.

They fired their arrows one by one, taking down Azgeda. The warriors cried out in anger as the first soldiers fell and they began to emerge from their tents. They charged forwards and they fired at as many as they could but they were soon over run. Lexa shot one in the shoulder but he howled and launched forwards, knocking her back down the other side of the bank. Lexa lost sight of Indra and lay beneath the panting angry warrior and he dragged her by her hair down to the camp where the other warriors circled.

Lexa looked wildly around but there was no sign of Indra. She had definitely been spotted and they would know she would never come alone. Whether Indra was already dead, the plan was in action.

The crowd jeered as the warrior kicked her on her knees and he pulled her hair up, making her stand so that she hissed in pain. She knew the humiliation was expected and that she would have to allow it.

'Hold it!' A woman shouted behind Lexa.

She could feel a finger trace the back of her neck as her hair was still tightly gripped in the air and she knew they had realised her true identity.

'The cowardly bitch, Heda, herself.' The woman breathed.

Lexa remained completely still. She could sense their excitement around as they began to buzz like a wasp's nest and it was exactly what she needed.

'We need to take her to the King.' The woman commanded in a low voice.

'Why don't we slit her throat now?' A warrior suggested with glee and there were mutterings of agreement.

'No!' The woman behind Lexa commanded in a low and dangerous voice but there was immediate silence. 'The King will reward us beyond our fantasies for her. Azgeda will have power finally. We will not have to skirt about these wretched forests.'

'The King just wants her head. We can send it to him.' Another soldier hissed.

'He will want to kill her himself. It will show his power and answer any questions to his authority.' She replied. 'And then Trikru will burn.'

There was a roar of delight at her last words and Lexa felt as her hands were bound. She made no move to fight the action. Her eyes scanned them all. They were ragged and clearly unsuited to Trikru life. Lexa had to resist a smile of pride at the woods who challenged so many. Trikru was always underestimated.

Lexa did not dare look at the bank. Indra's presence was an unknown but if Azgeda were not concerned then she was likely dead. Lexa felt a pang of regret but Indra had served her well in the end.

'To Polis!' They cheered again and Lexa felt relief that her suspicions about the King had been proved correct; he had left his mountain to sneak into the tower of Polis.

There had been so many false reports but she knew that Polis would not remain uninhabited for long. As soon as she left there would always be someone willing to take her throne.

Lexa was dragged forward but a loud shot rang out through the forest and Lexa saw blood as the man dragging her was hit squarely in the chest with the bullet and fell back to the floor. Lexa stood, half crouched as shots continued to pour into the Azgeda camp and Lexa could curse that she had come so far to die this way and that Skaikru had once more foiled any chance at securing peace with their love of guns.

Azgeda warriors fell one by one and Lexa, for one wild second, wondered if Clarke would appear before her, but as she was left as the only survivor, there was no sign of Clarke among those of Skaikru. They ran forward and pointed their gun at her but she remained standing. They signaled she should get on her knees but she would never bow to them.

Their clothes were full of holes and their hair was matted and greasy and Lexa understood that this was not Skaikru from Arkadia but those who had remained at the drop ship, those who had not returned at Bellamy's death because they so despised Lexa and her rule. Her plan had fallen and her life now was surely run dry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why anyone ever bothers to make plans in this world. They *never* work...


	66. Abby Road

Clarke sat in the passenger side of the rover, with the door open and Raven was leaning against the side of the car.

'You're spending the whole day with her?' Raven asked, bemused.

'Apparently.' Clarke replied, without enthusiasm.

'Don't worry. I'm sure it won't hurt too much.' Raven replied but Clarke didn't smile. 'Clarke?'

'I don't know...something just feels off.' Clarke shrugged. 'It's not like she wanted to spend time with me before.'

'She wanted you to stay.' Raven pointed out tentatively but Clarke shook her head.

'She wanted me to be away from Lexa and go back to the person I was on the Ark.'

'Cheer up.' Raven patted Clarke's leg. 'You'll be with Lexa soon.'

'Are you coming?' Clarke asked and it was Raven's turn to shrug.

'I want to...'

'...but you can do so much here.' Clarke finished.

Clarke's gaze darkened slightly as she watched her mother approach, carrying her backpack and Raven turned to greet her.

'Hey, Abby.'

'How is Zoran settling in?' Abby asked.

'Better than Skaikru settled in to the new environment.' Raven replied and Clarke stifled a bitter laugh.

'You're great with him' Abby said and Clarke noticed the sadness and how her mother's gaze landed upon her.

Clarke thought bitterly that she should have come to Polis to see Lexa with Aden but she held back her retort.

'Where are we headed?' Clarke asked desperately trying to steer the subject to any ground that wouldn't end in an argument.

'We're not taking the rover.' Abby said. 'I figured we could go down by the river.'

'Great. Wonderful plan to get picked off by Azgeda or giant snakes.' Raven muttered.

'Sure.' Clarke said; she knew that was her mother's favourite place outside of Arkadia and she could definitely relate to the desire to get the hell out of here when possible.

Clarke climbed out of the car as her mother walked towards the gates.

'She seem okay?' Raven asked curiously.

Clarke made a non committal noise in the back of her throat.

'She's rarely okay with me. See you when I get back.' Clarke said.

'Yeah,' Raven replied, 'look after yourself.'

* * *

 

_Clarke looked around medical nervously. Her mother had shown her the supply lock up, where surgery was performed and inside the examination rooms. It was nothing like the medical dramas she and Wells had watched; this was a space dictated by the Ark in how claustrophobic it was. It gave the impression that the Ark simply didn't care if people couldn't be saved, but given the limited resources that was hardly difficult to believe._

_'So what do you think?' Her mother asked proudly, standing in the middle of medical._

_'It's amazing.' Clarke breathed truthfully; despite its size it was where she would learn to actually be able to help people._

_'I know it's scary, Clarke.' Her mother said, walking to her and throwing an arm around her shoulder. 'But this will be yours. You're going to be a great doctor.'_

_Clarke desperately hoped that she would prove her mother right. It had been all she had ever wanted. She was certain that this was where her future lay._

* * *

 

They made their way through the forest slowly. Abby led and Clarke was trailing a few feet behind. Her mother seemed in no urgency to hurry the pace and Clarke could not complain. She wanted to get back to TonDC but her plan was to leave tonight. Nothing could speed up time, even if she would prefer to disappear into the Flame and lose all sense of it.

'Your father would have loved it here. I wish he could have seen it.' Abby called wistfully behind.

The words were enough to make Clarke want to run and never look back as she was instantly filled with flashes from her father falling with his abdomen soaked in blood. She was convinced she could feel the dagger in her hand and she clenched her fist to convince herself that she was actually walking through the forest and not in the City of Light. That moment haunted her more than his execution. Logically, she knew that she had not killed him, but it was hard to convince her heart of that fact. Her mother knew what had happened. She didn't see why she would mention him now. Clarke sighed. She really hated birthdays.

'I guess.' Clarke muttered, knowing she would have to respond. 'Kane is here.'

Clarke tried halfheartedly to steer the topic away from her father. In truth, she respected Kane and in many ways, her mother was perhaps far more suited to him. Any unease about her mother moving on had quickly been lost. They had to make the most of their lives now.

'He is. He's a great man.' Abby admitted.

Clarke didn't have to ask her if she loved him. She could tell. Sometimes the words didn't need to be said or uttered aloud. They were shown by actions, such as staying with someone in a pile of rubble that could fall down and could cause death just so they were not alone, or even by the briefest of looks.

 'He's changed since on the Ark.'

'We all have.' Clarke replied shortly, still following in her mother's footsteps.

It was hard to think of Kane as the man who had pressed charges against her. He had perhaps been one of the few who had changed for the better.

'That is true.' Abby admitted. 'What do you miss the most?'

'Hmm?'

'Besides your father and Wells. What do you miss?' Abby asked.

'Nothing.' Clarke said seriously, after a moment's pause.

She didn't ask the question in return. Her mother missed the people they once were but Clarke did not and that was the difference. Clarke thought all of the pain and sacrifice had been worth it. If she missed her life, if she focused on the Ark then it would feel like a betrayal to her people, her friends, Lexa...

Clarke ached with the pain that she had been put through but she wanted for nothing. The connection with Lexa was what sustained her. Abby wanted everything to be fixed. Perhaps their roles had reversed more than either of them had realised.

Clarke heard the running water before she saw it. Her thoughts fluttered to the first day that they had landed. They should have realised they could never be the same and not simply because they had fallen from the sky. Life was not what they had expected. It was so much more painful but infinitely beautiful. She swallowed thickly, trying to resist tears as she thought of what happened to Jasper and how she had managed to save him only for him to end up dead anyway. It had been the same with Finn, fighting to save him from a knife wound and poisoning, only to then run him through with a blade herself.

Twigs snapped as Clarke heavily heaved herself up the bank, behind her mother, and they were standing next to the pebbles covering the river. The stones loudly scraped against each other as they went to the water and her mother sighed at the sight of it. Clarke had missed its beauty before but it was special here.

Her mind went back to Lexa showing her the artists' square in Polis. She buried herself in those  moments, in that peace where Lexa and her were allowed to be and it was not Heda and Wanheda. She'd felt so broken at that point, after what she had done in the Mountain, but she half longed to go back even though she had been so uncertain of Lexa's feelings. Polis had been where she had been happiest.

She'd had absurd fantasies that perhaps Kane and Abby would visit, maybe even with Raven and that they would get to know the real Lexa. Her chance of a family on the ground. Of course it was never possible and it never could be.

'It is worth it.' Clarke said quietly but Abby's head turned and Clarke knew she had heard.

'I asked Marcus once that after everything we had done whether we even deserved to survive.' Abby said quietly, staring out at the river as she stood a few feet away from Clarke.

Clarke couldn't argue. She had wondered it herself enough times.

'What do you think?' Abby asked.

Clarke continued to look out at the running water. Jaha had told her once that a person could never come back to the same river because the water was always moving, it would be different and that no one would return the same person. It had seemed a ridiculous piece of wisdom on the Ark but now she had experienced it she saw the truth in it.

'I don't think it matters.' Clarke answered. 'Whether we deserve it or not, this is what we've got.'

'You never will stop.' Abby smiled sadly.

Clarke watched as her mother carefully swung the pack off her shoulder and put it on the ground before kneeling and opening it. Her hands gripped around something she slowly rose. Clarke wasn't even surprised to see her hands around a pistol and Clarke wondered sickeningly if that had been her pistol. She took one step back.

'Mom-'

'It'll never stop, honey.' Abby cried.

Clarke wrenched her eyes away from the gun and forced herself to look at her mother, where tears were running down her face. Clarke felt a stab of pity at the pair of them and anger that she had not been more prepared when this was entirely predictable. She had gotten so used to everyone trying to get what they want, everyone facing death at every turn that this should have been something she had known would come to pass. Abby had been right; neither of them would ever stop. This life had set them completely against each other in the same way it had with Lexa and Bellamy.

'It's okay, Mom.' Clarke cried, but there was a sorry hint of bitterness there.

Abby went to raise her arm and a shot echoed through the lands of Trikru. Abby grunted as her chest ripped backwards and she fell into the water, red blood staining the pebbles and water.

'Mom?' Clarke cried, terrified.

Clarke heard a twig snap behind and spun around. Raven's arms were shaking and she slowly lowered the gun, her eyes never leaving Abby's still body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. Really sorry about this dark chapter. I know Abby and Kabby fans are going to be quite annoyed at me *bows head respectfully*. There is a reason I went with this route. I chose this path for Abby a very long time ago, before I even decided on how I wanted to work out the Bellamy stuff. I deliberately left Abby's actions ambiguous and she was shot before she could raise the gun so the unknown is: was she going to shoot herself or Clarke? The fact is that she absolutely loved Clarke but she also thought was destroying herself and putting their people in danger. They were just two different people in the end, a bit like how Lexa and Bellamy was juxtaposed (or even Octavia and Bellamy). She did still care deeply for her though and that was shown by her constant attempts to get Clarke to see her point, by the fact that she wanted Clarke to stay at Arkadia and even when she had decided on this course of action she wanted Clarke to have a day of peace and for them to spend some time together. It was messed up and complicated and it was often a really cruel relationship for Clarke but there was love there. Not a great kind of love that any mother should strive for though. It was quite toxic and really in the show, Abby was possibly one of the worst mothers that had been on TV...Well, not quite that bad but she wasn't great for a lot of the time (as much as I found her character incredibly interesting and loved her with Kane). 
> 
> This world, in a similar way to Jasper, broke Abby. Everything she thought she held to be true about the value of life and morality was completely shattered and that started as early as her conversation with Kane in the ruins of TonDC about what Clarke had become. She just didn't have what it takes to survive. She could never understand Clarke (and she certainly never understood Lexa). 
> 
> I know that many would have felt she should have maybe killed Lexa but although Abby was desperate she also was no fool. Lexa is the Commander and that would have started a war and even though Abby initially blamed Lexa's influence quite a lot, she did begin to recognise Clarke's autonomy. Simply put: she saw Clarke for who she was but while Lexa admired, loved and respected her completely for that, it haunted Abby to her core. 
> 
> Obviously this is going to set off a whole chain of events (if you stick with the story that is and :P) because Skaikru will very quickly figure out that Abby is dead and she's such an important member of their society, never mind to the current chancellor. 
> 
> I'm sorry for the ramble but this was a big death and I felt that it needed an explanation, especially as so many had questioned Abby's behavior before but I wanted to show just how much she had descended into darkness or this wouldn't have made sense. Love to you all and thanks for all comments and views as always :) 
> 
> I promise that eventually lighter times are ahead!


	67. I Need You

Clarke stumbled forwards to her mother and wrenched her body over but she fell back onto the hard pebbles when she was met with her lifeless gaze. Her hands clenched around the pebbles beneath her until her hands started to bleed. She wanted to shake her back to life. She couldn't be gone but it was all so familiar.

_The dead are gone, Clarke. The living are hungry._

Lexa. She had to get to Lexa. Lexa would know how to put things right. Lexa always knew what to do. She stood up shaking and she stumbled once more over the pebbles, tripping and landing twisted but she hurled herself up within seconds and practically threw herself at Raven who had not moved.

Clarke's eyes darted to the pistol Raven was carrying and she grabbed it from her.

'Something was off.' Raven whispered. 'You were right. I knew. I just-something was off.'

'Raven,' Clarke was surprised by the own strength in her voice, 'Raven, Raven look at me.'

Raven forced her eyes to meet Clarke.

'We have to get to TonDC.' Clarke said firmly. 'That's a bullet wound. They'll know that one of their people killed her. Lexa can help us. Lexa will be able to fix this. We just have to get to her.'

'I didn't know what she was going to do. I just saw the gun-'

'It was going to be me or her. You either saved my life or my mother was going to kill herself anyway. Raven, we have to move.'

Clarke didn't wait for Raven's response before she grabbed her hand and pulled her through the forest. She just needed to get to Lexa.

* * *

 

Murphy groaned in pain, clutching his arm.

'So that plan went to hell.' He complained.

He and Octavia had managed to drag an unconscious Indra to safety. They had been about to take on the rest of Azgeda when Skaikru had screwed everything up and Murphy had been shot in the arm before they could get anywhere near her.

Indra groaned awake and started when she saw them.

'Heda?' She demanded, looking around.

'Gone.' Murphy spat. 'Skaikru took her.'

Indra glared at Octavia.

'I gave you an order.'

'And it was crap.' Octavia retorted. 'It's a good thing we came because now we know that Lexa is with them and we have to get her back.'

'Damn it! We need Clarke!' Murphy shouted.

'I can't get you, Clarke.' Octavia said. 'But I can get you Raven.'

Octavia said and she pulled out a radio from the pocket of her jacket as a smirk spread across Murphy's face. Hope was not yet lost. Clarke would storm the gates of hell to get Lexa back.

* * *

 

Lexa was dragged unceremoniously into the drop ship. She remembered when she had first arrived here and she stood in the ashes of her dead warriors and now she was to be joined with them. The Skaikru fighters carried her to the top level and Lexa cursed that her hands were bound. They were readying the chains but Lexa kicked out. She jumped on the back of the nearest of Skaikru and snapped his neck between her bound wrists but two more surged with shock sticks and she let out a cry as her body lost control and the force of the shock dropped her to the floor, gasping.

She felt as they cut her wrists free briefly before dragging her backwards across the floor and pulling her up, chaining each of her limbs. Her vision slowly began to refocus but she still felt drained from the shock sticks. She had to admit that Skaikru always had effective weapons.

'What do we do?' One of them said.

'Miller is coming tomorrow with more food and supplies. He can get a message to Kane that we have her. We won't give her up easy. The King wants her so we can make a deal with whoever offers the most.'

'She'll try to escape.'

'We'll make sure she is in no condition to.'

* * *

 

'Come on, kid.' Wick said, pushing his plate back towards him as they sat in the mess hall. 'You need to eat up or Raven will kick my ass.'

'She should have been back by now.' Zoran muttered gloomily.

Wick shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. He'd been worried about Raven too. She'd just rushed out of Arkadia and had told him to watch Zoran. He had no idea where she went and nowhere outside of these walls was safe.

'What if Azgeda have her?'

Wick eyed the boy seriously. He knew the threat of Azgeda but Raven had been adamant that she not be noticed and that things continue as normal in her absence. Whatever she was doing, she did not want Kane to know. If he reported her missing then Kane would be all over that and a team would be sent out immediately.

Annoyance and pain ebbed at his gut. He wanted Raven to be safe but he knew what she would want and he had to respect that. He trusted her. He just prayed that he was right.

'They don't, buddy.' Wick reassured him. 'Raven is our resident genius. Sometimes she gets jobs to sort that no one else can fix and she has to go to them. There's nothing that would stop her coming back here and working with you. Just give her a bit more time.'

* * *

 

Clarke still dragged Raven along behind her. Raven had ceased her quiet sobs but Clarke could feel her shaking. They could not stop. Clarke didn't know how long her mother had told Kane they would be gone for and if they passed that unknown time Kane would send a team out looking for them. They had to keep moving. Clarke would carry Raven if she had to.

There was a lot crack of static and Clarke nearly fell over again in shock. For a wild second she had thought it was a gun shot ripping through the forest.

'It's me. It's me.' Raven muttered, looking around wildly at herself.

Clarke stepped closer and pulled the radio from Raven's pocket and handed it to her. Raven's hands were shaking more than ever as she held the radio to her.

'Raven,'  she managed and Clarke's stomach knotted; if this was Wick he'd instantly be suspicious of Raven as he could read her so well.

'Raven, it's Octavia.'

Clarke felt a flood of relief. Octavia was with Lexa. They'd be able to come and help them.

'What is it?' Raven asked.

'Skaikru. They've got Lexa. They've taken her to the drop ship.' Octavia said and Clarke snatched the radio from Raven's hand.

'What the hell happened?'

'Clarke?' Octavia asked but it was Murphy's voice which spoke next.

'She had this plan to get into Polis by being captured by Azgeda.'

'And you let her?' Clarke demanded, her voice high pitched.

What the hell had Lexa been thinking? Clarke could have cursed herself. She knew, she just knew she had never gone back to Arkadia. Resentment for her mother built up inside of her. The entire time she had fallen for that pathetic ploy and now Lexa was in danger all because of her.

'Obviously not. I tried to stop her but the drop ship lot turned up. They got her. We're on our way back to TonDC. Meet us there and we'll go after her.'

'We're already headed there so you better hurry your asses up.' Clarke hissed.

Raven stared at her in shock. Clarke clutched the radio tighter to her chest as though expecting Lexa's voice to suddenly emit through it. She wanted to disappear into the secondary Flame but she had to focus. She could not lose herself to this world when Lexa needed her. She would have to wait. They knew where was and she had to go. She had lost everyone. There was no way in hell she would lose Lexa. She didn't care what it took. She didn't care if she would have to murder all of Skaikru. She was getting Lexa back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Thanks as always for reading, for kudos and for comments! :)


	68. Only a Chance

Clarke sprinted through TonDC with Raven to meet Octavia, Indra and Murphy who were waiting for them in the centre of the village.

'We have to get to Arkadia.' Octavia said as soon as she saw them but Clarke shook her head.

'We can't.'

'Why the hell not? Skaikru have Lexa! Kane could negotiate with them!' Octavia demanded.

'Don't you think I know that?' Clarke snapped desperately.

A stitch seared through Clarke and she clutched her chest but they had to keep going. If they took the horses they might have a chance at saving Lexa. Surely they wouldn't just kill the Commander...but if Kane got to them after what had happened to her mother...

Clarke wrenched her mind away. She had to focus. They had to get to Lexa. They were wasting time.

'It's my fault.' Raven whispered.

'Raven, shut up!' Clarke demanded. 'We don't have time for this! We have to get to Lexa!'

'Clarke, what the hell is going on?' Murphy asked and it was only Murphy's voice that managed to make Clarke's panic feel slightly more controllable.

Clarke glanced at Raven who appeared distraught. She had been in complete shock the entire journey back. Raven had only ever killed people who were the enemy. She had never had to kill a friend before. Raven kept looking at Clarke fearfully too as though expecting her friend to turn on her but Clarke was overwhelmed with shock and gratitude.

'My mother is dead.' Clarke said; she wanted to spare Raven's involvement. 'It was my fault. Kane will have realised already when we didn't return to Arkadia and if they haven't found her-the -the body then they will soon. Do you think Kane will help me get Lexa back then?'

Clarke's trembled over each rising word. Clarke had wanted to protect Lexa for months from Skaikru's rage and from Azgeda's ambition and yet here they were worse off than ever and with even less allies.

'Shit.' Murphy hissed, in despair.

'Then we go after Heda ourselves.' Indra commented.

* * *

 

'Sir,' Miller said, stepping inside the Chancellor's quarters.

'Well?' Kane asked, tightly and fearfully.

Kane watched as Miller swallowed uncomfortably and looked around the room hopelessly before turning his gaze back to Kane.

'We found...her at the river. It was a gun shot through the chest.' Miller said quietly.

'Which one?' Kane asked in a whisper.

'I'm sorry?' Miller asked, confused.

'Was it Clarke or-' Kane's voice broke; he couldn't say her name, he could not imagine her gone.

'It was Ab-Dr Griffin.' Miller confirmed. 'There was no one else in the area.'

Kane let out a sob and pulled at his own hair, almost ripping great clumps out. He kicked wildly at the bed falling to he floor as his body wracked with sobs. He felt Miller's arm on his shoulder and Kane pulled his hands over his face, his crying muffled by the palms of his hands.

He had known. He had known when they didn't arrive back in time. She had seemed so at peace in the morning, so ready and content to finally be spending a day with her daughter. If he had just stopped her...if Clarke had just gone back to Lexa like she had planned all along...

'Why would she do this?' Kane cried, saliva dripping down his beard and mingling with his falling tears. 'Her own mother. Why? Why?'

Kane felt as Miller grasped his shoulder tighter before he spoke.

'Clarke wouldn't do this.' Miller said quietly.

'But she did!' Kane shouted dangerously, slamming his hand against the metal floor. 'She did! I trusted her! Always, I defended her to Abby. I told Abby to have faith in her daughter, that she wasn't a monster and now-now-'

Kane descended into his grief once more as words failed him. He would never be able to comprehend the horror that had taken place. Abby had been right: they didn't deserve to survive.  

* * *

 

Her armor had been stripped and Lexa was left in her black shirt, black pants and boots. Her hands were tied to the opposite walls and her feet were chained too. She pulled at her chains but it was hopeless.

Her throat was raw so that even swallowing hurt. Her mouth was so dry she wondered if she could even recall the taste of water and her body ached. Her shirt was sticking to her abdomen from where she had been lashed with one of the red belts that Skaikru had made. It had been a pointless endeavor on their part: she would never break, but then her life was what they prized. She had nothing else to offer them. The torture was for their own amusement and to soothe their own fears that they could tame her and shield themselves from the power of Heda.

She was alone on the top floor. She desperately needed to sit down but her sinking knees couldn't reach the ground for how high her arms were tied. She pulled at the chains in frustration again. Her body was exhausted. She slowly closed her eyes and tried to block out the pain and her throbbing headache and let the calm overwhelm her.

* * *

 

'Clarke,' Lexa started, 'Clarke.'

Clarke spun around in their room and Lexa could see her eyes were glazed over. Clarke had not given herself up the secondary Flame. Her mind was still focused on whatever task she was carrying out.

'Lexa, I can't talk. I'm coming. I promise, I'm coming. Just try to hold on a little longer. You're going to be okay.' Clarke murmured, pressing a tender kiss to her lips. 'You'll be okay. I'm coming, Lexa. Ste yuj.'

* * *

 

Lexa jolted awake with a start. Sweat ran down her face and her abdomen ached, almost as much as when she had been shot. She was so weak and she despised it.

She wondered how on earth Clarke had known. The drop ship runts must have got in contact with Kane and Clarke was coming straight from Arkadia. It had to be the only way. Fear flowed through her heart; they would be well prepared for her arrival if that was the case. Bellamy had blown up a party from the local village who were searching the area with nearly half a dozen bombs. Clarke would stand no chance.

There was a loud creak as the hatch opened and Lexa eyed as two of Skaikru made their way onto the level. One was called Mercole, she had recognised him from his name; Clarke had mentioned him and he had been Bellamy's second in command once Skaikru had divided.

'Something is up.' The woman with Mercole said. 'Arkadia have sent teams out all day.'

'They're going to TonDC. It's the closest village that way and the clinic is gone. It's the only option.' Mercole replied.

'You think they're after her?'

'They're after something.'

'Clarke is going to want her back.'

'Which is why we do the deal with Azgeda.' Mercole said.

'But Clarke will do anything. That can be exploited.'

'And it makes her more dangerous.' Mercole replied. 'Don't forget, Clarke burned three hundred people in a ring of fire and melted another three hundred people's faces off. She's not someone to be faced lightly.'

Lexa stared at them, her eyes full of a quiet rage. They did not believe Clarke knew that she was here and Arkadia had not been contacted. Lexa was perplexed as to what was going on but she hid the immense relief she felt, keeping her face impassive. If they did not know Clarke was already on her way they would be caught unaware. Clarke might have a chance at evading death once more.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. I might be able to get another chapter up later but I'm pretty tired after work even if I spent most of the shift running from wasps...
> 
> Thanks all for your positive comments post Abby's death too as I was pretty worried about that but you were all really lovely :)


	69. Vengeance and Justice

 'How do we get in?' Clarke whispered.

They were huddled together outside of the wall enclosing the drop ship. There was not a great deal of activity and that made Clarke deeply uneasy. It was a lot easier to prepare when the enemy was frantic and in fight mode than when they were tightly contained.

Her anger was risking getting the better of her. Lexa was just inside and she was terrified of what she would find even if they got in. Her mother had haunted her since they had fled to TonDC, as did images of Lexa falling after Titus had shot her. That old nightmare had never gone away.

'We will be the distraction.' Indra said, her voice harsh with outrage that Skaikru had taken Heda.

'The tunnels are still in place.' Octavia muttered and Clarke nodded.

'What are you going to do?' Clarke asked.

Octavia pulled out Raven's lighter and Clarke understood.

'Raven, get to the art supply store.' Clarke told her but Raven shook her head.

'I'm not going anywhere.' Raven said, her face set.

'You've done enough today.' Clarke said quietly.

'I'm not walking away from my friends.'

'She knows what she's doing, Clarke.' Murphy replied. 'Besides, we need all the help we can get.'

Clarke relented at that point.

Raven removed her jacket and ripped off her shirt sleeve before putting the red jacket back on. Clarke crawled to the tunnel entrance as Octavia lit the fabric and threw it against the wall. Within a minute, there were shouts from inside the gate warning of a fire. The doors swung open and Clarke could have laughed at their naivety; without Bellamy they had no leader to direct them. Several fighters poured out and Clarke heard as Octavia and Indra let out a war cry and Clarke slipped into the tunnel unknown. She crawled on her knees and paused at the entrance, looking around but everyone was focused on the chaos at the gate.

Clarke charged into the drop ship and hurled herself up the steps, not caring about the noise when all attention was lost to her. She pulled herself up onto the third level and stared in horror.

Lexa's war paint remained in place but Clarke did not miss how pale she was. Her eyes were closed but her chest was still rising and falling with each breath. There was a tragic beauty about her. She was still Lexa, full of strength and fight but her body was drained. Her toned frame was stretched across the room, just as Lincoln's had been, and Clarke felt tears at the sight before rushing forward and cupping Lexa's face.

'Lexa, Lexa,' Clarke whispered, trying to rouse her.

Lexa's eyes flickered open and Clarke saw the sparkle of recognition and she swore that old trace of a smile graced Lexa's lips.

'I'm here.' Clarke murmured, brushing Lexa's tangled hair back from her face.

Clarke worked at the knotted chains around Lexa's wrists and feet quickly until they came lose. Lexa almost fell to the floor but Clarke caught her swiftly, shocked at how weak Lexa was and hatred burned at her at what Skaikru had done. She pushed back agonising memories of carrying Lexa to her bed after she had been shot. This time there was no bullet wound, no surgery would be required. She had Lexa and once more she just had to get her to somewhere safe. She gently brought Lexa to the stairs and made her way down first as Lexa followed slowly, with Clarke ready to catch her should she falter.

Clarke paused at the entrance to the ship, pulling Lexa back against the wall. There was still relative chaos outside but now there was two of them and Lexa was moving so slowly, Clarke doubted they would not be seen if they tried to slip away. Clarke glanced grimly to Lexa.

'Can you walk?'

'Yes.' Lexa replied, her voice croaking and Clarke's hand for her face once more.

'The tunnel to the left is short. It will take you into the forest. Murphy is waiting there.'

Clarke turned to the entrance but Lexa's hand was firm around hers and Clarke turned back.

'I'll be fine.' Clarke dismissed. 'We both know that I can handle myself at this point.'

Lexa smiled and Clarke was happily surprised when Lexa stepped forward to kiss her and pressed her forehead against hers when the kiss broke apart. Clarke never wanted to forget the feeling of Lexa's breath against her skin but they had to move.

Clarke stepped back and Lexa nodded showing that she understood.

Clarke reached to the back of her pants and took out Raven's pistol, turning the safety off and she pulled out the dagger from her boot with her right hand.

Clarke gave Lexa one quick smile before darting out of the drop ship and running towards the gates.

She fired twice, taking two of Skaikru down and there was a roar of shock. Octavia and Indra seized the opportunity to strike out again and Clarke continued to fire three more times, until the gun was out. She ran to the nearest of the drop ship gang and stabbed out with her dagger, cutting him down. She turned to the next woman and sliced through her neck. Adrenaline and an indignant rage drove Clarke on. She was condemning her own people to death but every movement was hers to make. They had demanded so much from her yet had cared little for her own life or heart. Again and again Clarke struck out and they all fell in a heap to the floor. She stabbed the last of the drop ship members of Skaikru in the chest three times before his broken body fell backwards. Indra and Octavia stood staring at her in mild shock.

Blood soaked the dirt below and Clarke knew her face was covered in their blood. She stared back at Octavia and shrugged.

'They tortured Lexa.'

Octavia actually rolled her eyes at Clarke's response and Clarke couldn't help but smile. She had the ridiculous urge to laugh at the absurdity. If only her mother could see her now, it had been exactly as she had predicted and warned about.

Clarke threw down the useless pistol by their bodies. It was one of their weapons. Grounders didn't use them. It had been right to use it against Skaikru. They should have stuck to Lexa's disarmament, Clarke thought bitterly.

Clarke walked through the gates and hurried to meet Lexa and Murphy so she could finally check Lexa over properly.

'Thank you.' Clarke said to the others.

'She is our Commander.' Indra reminded her and Clarke saw it not as a rejection but as a pledge of commitment to Lexa after all that they had been through.

'We have to get out of here.' Octavia told Clarke softly.

Clarke took in Lexa. She needed rest and treatment. She didn't want to carry her all the way back to TonDC like this.

'Skaikru are going to TonDC.' Lexa whispered, her voice hoarse. 'They said that Kane had sent teams.'

Lexa's eyes searched Clarke's and she had no desire to lie. She'd wanted Lexa to be with her all along. That had been her first instinct.

'My mother is dead. Kane is looking for Raven and I.' Clarke explained. 'She tried to kill me.'

Lexa looked horrified at Clarke and Clarke knew that from reading her and Raven and the omissions that she had understood what had happened. Lexa threaded her fingers with Clarke's and Clarke took in a deep breath.

'The art supply store.' Clarke said finally. 'It'll be dark soon. We can spend the night there.'

'Let's get going.' Murphy said.

'You followed me?' Lexa questioned him knowingly, truly acknowledging his presence for the first time at the sound of his voice.

'Didn't have anything better to do.' Murphy shrugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Hopefully I'll get another chapter out today but I've got a few guests so it might be out a little later than usual. I know I could have really drawn Clarke killing everyone out, but she's just not bothered at this point. She owes nothing more to her people. She just wanted Lexa back. She'll deal with whatever else comes next but she saw Skaikru there as the enemy and that was that. She's not going to be losing any sleep over what happened.


	70. We Carry Them With Us

Octavia and Indra were both on watch. It was unlikely that Skaikru would arrive here. So few still knew of its existence. Clarke had tried to honour Finn by keeping it as much a secret as possible. Besides, Arkadia had focused upon TonDC.

Raven was asleep in the corner of the bunker and Clarke knew that she would never be the same. Raven had been so loyal to her that Clarke could hardly understand why, but then they were driven by the same thing: love for their friends. It had been a love born out of differing circumstances: Raven had no family, or at least no family worth mentioning, but Clarke had been given it all and had sacrificed it all.

'I'm glad you're back with us.' Murphy said quietly, breaking Clarke's thoughts.

They were sat next to each other on the small table, watching Lexa sleep on the sofa. She had succumbed to sleep relatively quickly. Beads of sweat still caressed Lexa's face and Clarke watched her with concern.

'Thank you, Murphy, for looking after her.' Clarke whispered.

Murphy sighed dismissively.

'We were looking out for each other.' He smiled. 'And you too.'

'I know.' Clarke replied.

'Get some rest okay?' Murphy said, squeezing her knee and then he rose to join Indra and Octavia.

* * *

 

Kane flicked his torch across the grounds of the drop ship and stared in horror at the fallen Skaikru members. They had been slaughtered like animals.

They'd searched TonDC rapidly but there had been no sign of Clarke and locals had not been inclined to help. It was on a whim that he had decided to bring his team here at all. If Clarke had gone into Azgeda, she would be as good as dead anyway and the same was true if she had fled to Polis. There were few places left for Clarke to run to.

* * *

 

A twig snapped and Murphy raised his hands in defeat as Octavia spun around, blade ready. She rolled her eyes at the sight of him and lowered her weapon.

'Come on, if you only just notice me when I'm this close then we've got no chance.' He smirked.

'What do you want?' Octavia sighed.

'Clarke's only got eyes for Lexa right now and Raven is flat out so I thought I'd pay you a visit.' Murphy shrugged.

'How's Clarke?' Octavia asked tightly and Murphy raised his eyes in mock surprise.

'Oh, so you care now?'

'Screw you. I always cared.'

'Yeah...' Murphy drawled. 'That's why you made her fight your brother to the death. Pretty twisted to see which good old sibling came out on top.'

Murphy watched as Octavia stiffened but otherwise her face was impassive in the moonlight.

'How did-'

'I know?' Murphy questioned smugly. 'All that crap when you landed about hating the privileged. You focused all of that on Clarke...you even chased Finn, for what? Like a day? Just because you saw something between him and Clarke. Your daddy abandoned you, some great mystery man. You said he was an engineer and you were so angry at Clarke when she let that missile drop on you. Didn't really take much to put it all together.'

'She let that missile drop on an entire village.' Octavia hissed.

'No, the Mountain Men did that. Clarke just couldn't stop it.' Murphy corrected. 'Did Bellamy know?'

'No.' Octavia said quickly. 'Are you going to tell her?'

'No.' Murphy shook his head. 'Clarke's lost enough.'

'Clarke's lost enough.' Octavia repeated bitterly.

'She doesn't need to know her dad wasn't quite the hero everyone always made out.' Murphy replied. 'Especially after her own mother just tried to have her killed and well, you've tried that one on her yourself.'

'It's not like it matters anyway.' Octavia said quietly.  'It's just blood. What happened on the Ark doesn't matter any more.'

'No,' Murphy agreed, 'it doesn't.'

* * *

 

Clarke continued to watch Lexa. Her breathing was slightly quicker and more shallow than it should be. Clarke pressed her hand gently to her forehead before pulling back, careful not to break her sleep. Her fever was still present.

She didn't understand how no matter what they faced Lexa gave her such purpose and such peace. Lexa was peace. In the midst of war and death, Lexa was a quiet peace. It seemed such a ridiculous thing to even comprehend when Lexa was so strong and commanded the greatest armies with ease. Lexa who could go from secret smiles to an icy glare in a heart beat. Clarke had fought against the connection, denied it, given into it, loathed it, and been absolutely terrified of it but it was something she prized more than anything else. It was something that never truly wanted to escape from, even in those months alone after the mountain. She had spent her time both hating Lexa and desperately wishing Lexa would find her and that she hadn't just been forgotten about. She'd been so scared that Lexa had never cared, that the kiss had just been a ploy and it had sickened her. She was supposed to be feeling guilt for all that she had done but still Lexa remained in her skin, her blood and her heart. Her soul, Clarke had given to Lexa a long time ago.

Even when Bellamy had raged war, Lexa had made her feel safe. She could forget about Arkadia, she could even forget her people a lot of the time. Polis had been her home. Lexa had been right; they didn't need vows or a service, they were already married.

Lexa's hair was a tangled mess, her face was pale and her body looked utterly spent from the torture. As Clarke had examined her, she'd tenderly washed the war paint off her face. Lexa had silently watched her, leaning into the touch. Clarke swore that after everything Lexa was happy. The fact she had the capacity to feel such joy after everything she had been through amazed Clarke. Nothing could ever challenge Lexa's spirit.

Clarke swallowed thickly and brushed away the single tear on her face. She leaned forwards softly on the table and brushed Lexa's hair back before pressing a gentle kiss to Lexa's forehead.

'I love you.' Clarke whispered, as though Lexa was awake and she was trying to convince her of it.

Clarke stood up and swallowed back her tears again as she picked up the radio and made her way into the bathroom and closed the door. She turned the volume down and fiddled until it was on the right channel.

'Come in, Arkadia.'

Clarke was surprised that her voice only shook slightly.

'Clarke?'

'Wick?' Clarke responded. 'Raven is fine. She's safe. I need to speak to the Chancellor.'

'Okay, hang on.'

Wick sounded defeated and Clarke wondered if her voice gave more away than she realised or whether Arkadia was simply used to expecting the worst.

'Clarke?'

Kane's voice was as clipped as it was back on the Ark, but Clarke heard the anger.

'I know you want revenge-'

'Justice.' Kane corrected, interrupting Clarke.

'You can have whatever you want.' Clarke said, and her voice was just as determined as it had been over the radio to Emerson and then Cage. 'I will give myself to you. You can punish me how you see fit but my terms are this: Lexa gets treatment, the antibiotics she needs to fight her infection and then safety in Arkadia. I give you my life if you give me hers.'

'What makes you think I won't betray you?' Kane asked.

'Because you loved her.' Clarke said simply. 'She wanted me dead but she could only do it herself and you know it. You felt her disappointment for me. You know what happened. It would be a broken promise to her to hurt me in such a way as to kill Lexa.'

'But I'm allowed to hurt you?'

'I'm giving myself to you. I'm submitting myself, which is what my mother wanted. It will not cause me pain.' Clarke smiled; it was true, she was gladly meeting this fate.

'I'll bring her to the gates of Arkadia. Have Jackson ready. She's feverish and needs swift intervention.'

Clarke shut off the radio not waiting for Kane to respond. She stepped out of the bathroom and glance at Raven who was still asleep before walking to Lexa.

Lexa's wounds had become infected. It was the only way. Clarke didn't feel a hint of regret. She was sure her mother would have been disgusted at that. She couldn't cry for her. She wanted to. She wanted to break down into a pit of despair and feel like a better daughter but maybe she had been mourning her mother for months now, perhaps since she found out the truth about what had happened to her father.

She stooped down and lifted Lexa gently. Lexa's head fell against her shoulder and Clarke smiled to herself slightly before she carried them out of the bunker.

She knew these woods better than anyone. She had spent months in them. She slipped down the east passage and she saw Octavia a few dozen yards away in the distance. She couldn't see her expression in the dark at this range. She had wished that maybe they could have come to some sort of peace, but then Octavia did stay with Lexa. That could have been her attempt at reaching out. Octavia would look after Raven, and Murphy would care for Lexa. Indra would watch out for them all. She was leaving her loved ones in the right hands.

She walked quickly down to Arkadia. The lights piercing the night sky. In truth, Clarke felt it looked a menace in this beautiful landscape. She much preferred the forest or Polis than the bright white lights of Arkadia.

Lexa felt so warm against her and Clarke's heart ached. Jackson didn't have her mother to guide him but he was a good doctor and Nyko was there. They would take care of her. They had what they needed at their disposal to get her through this.

Clarke thought to the secondary Flame. Surely Kane would destroy it once he had Clarke be delivered to justice. There was no reason to keep it. Lexa would still have a part of Clarke within the Flame. That could not be erased. Clarke had taken the Flame herself but Clarke would be wrenched from the secondary Flame and her own body. That old quest to keep herself and Lexa immortal had both failed and succeeded. She had guaranteed Lexa's safety though, and that mattered far more. It was not the first time she had thought she would have to make peace with her own death.

She stepped out of the trees and before the gates. The spotlights were immediately on her. She stood as still as she could as the gates slowly opened. Kane walked forward with Jackson by his side. Jackson gently took Lexa from her but before he could turn away Clarke pressed a kiss to Lexa's cheek as she slept on and traced it tenderly with her fingers.

'Love is strength, please remember.' Clarke whispered.

Jackson looked heartbroken for her as he turned away and took Lexa inside and Clarke felt a pang of remorse. Jackson had loved Abby as a sister. He had always been there for her and yet here he was helping her. There was still some good left within the gates of Arkadia.

Clarke held out her wrists and Kane handcuffed them. His eyes were dull and emotionless.

'Wanheda, it is time to pay for your crimes.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI all. Sorry for the cliff hanger but you know I kind of love them. Again though, don't worry. There shall be no tropes played out in this story. :)


	71. Delivering Justice

_'Anya,' Lexa greeted._

_'Heda,' Anya bowed before the throne but Lexa rose and descended the steps and grasped her old mentor's arm._

_'Indra informed me that you attended peace negotiations with the Sky People.'_

_Anya nodded, her eyes narrowing._

_'And that one of Trikru's warriors were left dead.' Lexa's eyes lingered over the bandage on Anya's arm._

_'I'm dealing with it.' Anya replied quickly._

_Lexa studied her closely for a moment._

_'Very well, but if the issue is not resolved soon then Tristan will be sent in your place.'_

_Anya visibly flinched but her face instantly returned to its stoic mask. Anya had always been driven as much by her heart as her head and occasionally her emotions would betray her act of supreme confidence and power._

_'It will be done, Commander.'_

_Lexa nodded._

_'I don't think they meant it.' Anya contemplated after a moment._

_Anya was always much more comfortable revealing details of any incident with Lexa than anyone else, including Indra, and Lexa would always grant her the chance to do so. Lexa would not have come so far without Anya, after all._

_'Their leader seemed sincere.' Anya pressed on. 'It was a fool boy who shot at us.'_

_'They disobeyed her?'_

_'Doubtful. We had our own people for protection. They would naturally do the same.'_

_Lexa nodded again and silence washed over them once more._

_'She's different.' Anya said and then added with a smile. 'You'd like her.'_

_Lexa almost smirked._

_'Do you wish to recruit her?'_

_'No.' Anya rolled her eyes. 'She's more powerful than people know.'_

_'Clearly, if she has bested you. Nia is eager for all of their deaths.'_

_'Nia can wait. This is a matter for Trikru.' Anya hissed._

_'That it is.' Lexa replied deliberately and she knew Anya would not miss the implication that they must resolve the situation soon._

_'Are you well, at least?' Anya asked, her tone relenting slightly._

_'I am.'_

_Anya groaned at the response._

_'Titus did train you well.'_

_'If that is something you resent then perhaps you should have worked harder as a teacher.'_

_Anya mock glared at her._

_'He's still wrong.' Anya replied, almost to herself. 'Love is not weakness. I'd do anything for Trikru.'_

_'Then end the situation with the Sky People.' Lexa replied, in a bored voice._

* * *

 

Lexa groaned. Her eye lids struggled to open as though they were locked doors. She was drenched in her own sweat but she could feel her shaking subsiding and she was much more alert. She could gauge now that her dreams had passed and that she had returned to some state of consciousness. Voices met her ears but none of them were Clarke's.

'Clarke?' Lexa asked, her eyes still closed.

There were murmurings around the room but Clarke's voice was still nowhere to be heard. She didn't know where she was and she didn't know where Clarke had gone. Clarke would never leave her in this weak state. Something was wrong.

'Clarke?' She repeated more loudly.

She wrenched her eyes open and was met with Jackson and Nyko.

'Clarke?' She repeated.

Nyko's eyes betrayed his sadness and terror struck Lexa harder than any infection. Lexa rolled off the bed in medical and fell to her knees on the floor.

'Heda-' Nyko started.

'Leave me!' Lexa shouted, pulling herself up.

She stumbled slightly as the room span but she lurched towards the door and grabbed onto the side of the wall to pull herself forwards. Her vision began to improve with every step and the pain in her abdomen was not even a distraction. The corridors of Arkadia were deserted. Lexa made for the nearest exit and almost knocked into one of Skaikru. They turned, startled, and instantly the crowd began to part to make way for her.

Lexa walked through the sea of bodies. It was a claustrophobic sight to see everyone gathered under the dark night sky and Lexa wondered how long she had been unconscious. The path separated by Skaikru led to the edge of the grounds where the two posts where Skaikru criminals were tied lay. Lexa reached the edge of the crowd where Indra, Miller, Brian, Monty, Harper, Murphy, Wick, Zoran, Octavia and Raven were and watched as Kane stood before Clarke who was tied to the posts. Clarke was grasping the red ties, her gold ring on her left hand glinting against the light of the flaming torches that were scattered all around. Clarke's face was set in controlled defiance, and yet acceptance, and Lexa rushed forwards as she saw her but guards moved towards her. Lexa struck out, knocking them down but Kane's voice echoed through the grounds.

'Stop!' He screamed.

The guards quickly stepped back and Lexa watched him as he turned to Skaikru.

'For the crimes of treachery, the murder of her own people, including Doctor Abigail Griffin: Clarke Griffin has been sentenced to death by shock lashing.' Kane told the crowd but there was an immediate roar.

'You can't do this!' Miller shouted.

It was a punishment designed to break the spirit of Wanheda. One bullet alone could not do that. They wanted her body and soul utterly exhausted.

Raven broke down in sobs and Octavia's face paled as she held onto Raven. Monty was staring in shock at Kane as though seeing him for the first time and there was hatred in Harper's eyes. Murphy's eyes were locked onto Lexa, though she ignored him and powerfully stepped forward to Kane.

Kane turned to her, his eyes cold.

'You cannot do this. Clarke is your leader.'  

'I am the Chancellor.' Kane replied and Lexa so badly wanted to retort that the position he commanded was only afforded to him because of Clarke.

'I am the Commander.' Lexa replied, her voice demanding his respect.

'You have nothing to command.' Kane replied. 'The Coalition has shattered. There is no one who will follow you.'

Lexa looked beyond Kane and to Clarke behind him. Clarke wore no hood and had been stripped of her jacket, much as Lexa had been shed of her layers when she was tortured. Clarke's frame looked so much smaller for it but that ferocious spirit still raged on.

'You may have a moment.' Kane said sadly, watching Lexa's gaze and it never left Clarke even as he spoke.

Lexa heard the sorrow. The shame and regret that he could not say goodbye to Abby but Lexa refused, and would defy anyone who placed the demand upon her that she should say goodbye to Clarke.

Lexa strode towards Clarke before breaking into a run. Clarke strained against the binds that held her and their lips met. Lexa cried into the kiss, pouring all of her passion and love. She never wanted to part with Clarke. The idea of losing her seemed nonsensical. Clarke had survived everything. She had brushed off the threat of death time and again. Lexa broke the kiss only when a sob threatened and she wrapped her arms around Clarke and buried her head into Clarke's neck for only a moment before pulling back and staring into those awe inspiring blue eyes but it was Clarke who spoke first.

'You can't stop this and it's okay.' Clarke tried to reassure her and Lexa saw her lips tremble and she took quick and shallow breaths to steady herself.

Clarke's eyes were fixed on her and there was no fear there. Clarke had already accepted her fate and Lexa wondered in alarm if this was what Clarke had always thought inevitable; that she would have to pay for the crimes she thought she had committed just like this. Clarke always held herself as a monster and yet Clarke had been their savior time and again.

'You will not die.' Lexa replied.

'Listen to me,' Clarke was pleading and Lexa reached out and brushed away Clarke's tears, 'I need you to do something for me.'

'What? What is it?' Lexa murmured desperately, pressing light kisses to Clarke's lips before pulling away again and meeting that striking gaze.

'Smile for me.' Clarke asked. 'When I'm gone; smile for me, laugh for me, love for me. Don't lose yourself again. Live for me.'

 Lexa wiped her own tears away and looked distraught at Clarke. How was she supposed to do any of that without Clarke? She felt like she was Clarke. Their existences had been so joined together, their souls so embedded in one another that Clarke was life. Clarke was love.

'I'll always be with you.' Clarke reminded her, reading her thoughts. 'You're so much stronger than you know. You'll always carry me. Be happy for me. I need you to be okay.'

Lexa kissed Clarke fiercely once more. This could not happen. Clarke was here and so full of life, she would do anything to protect that. She pulled back again and brushed the hair out of Clarke's face and her determined gaze was met with a questioning one from Clarke who had sensed the defiance in Lexa.

Lexa turned to Kane, with her back to Clarke. Lexa's stance was as protective as Clarke has it had been when she had shielded her in the City of Light. It mattered not that she had no weapons. No harm would come to Clarke.

'Lexa, it is time.' Kane called out to her.

'You're not taking Clarke!' Raven screamed.

'Raven!' Clarke ordered, in a harsh demand to be quiet but Raven ignored her.

'Take me! It was me!'

Kane stepped back in shock, Clarke screamed at her to be quiet but it was Lexa's voice that commanded silence and Arkadia went still once more but Kane was watching Raven in quiet horror.

'It is time for Skaikru to decide how they want to live once and for all.' Lexa said loudly so that her voice carried over the grounds and Kane tore his gaze from Raven and turned to her.

She watched as Murphy and Raven exchanged nervous glances. Octavia and Indra both watched her keenly, waiting for any sign of what to do. Miller looked furious at the whole situation and Brian paled next to him. Harper and Monty both looked crushed at the fact they may be forced to choose between Kane and Clarke. Kane had protected them all so much since coming to the ground.

'I am not naive enough to appeal to any sense of hope. I have watched you all abandon that numerous times, often to start wars you had no idea how to end and the cost was always the blood of Skaikru and Trikru.' Lexa said, looking among the faces who shuffled nervously.

'Clarke is the one who has always protected you. How many times has she had to step in to save your lives? And now you wish to dispose of her? Your greatest asset? What will happen the next time you start a war out of anger? Who will rescue you then?'

'The dead are gone and much of the pain and loss you have felt has been caused by Skaikru's own actions and yet Clarke has paid the price of this every time you have asked it of her. She has given herself willingly and totally to Skaikru and without any complaint, even when her friends and family turned their backs on her.'

Lexa gazed around harshly at them. Clarke had been devastated by what had happened in the Mountain but if the people she had loved had given her a reason to stay then perhaps Clarke would not have left. Octavia had hated her, her mother had turned against her and Jasper blamed her for everything that had happened.

'So will you allow the murder of your own leader? Will her blood stain your hands because you were too weak to stand up and say that what is happening here is wrong? How many more lives will you watch be stolen because it was easier to do nothing?'

Lexa stared at the faces before her. She was disgusted by how often they had raced to war and treated life as though it had no worth. They were not murdering Clarke because of their own weakness.

'Heda!' Indra screamed, raising her sword in the air and Octavia and Murphy followed her.

Raven, Wick, Monty, Harper and Zoran joined in with a quick scream of 'Heda!', throwing their fists in the air. Silence fell and then another scream of 'Heda!' went around and the pattern was repeated until most of Skaikru had joined in.

'Heda!'

Kane looked to Clarke's lonely figure on the post and Lexa shifted slightly to the side as if to block Clarke from his view which was filled with grief and regret.

'Heda!'

Lexa stared coldly at Kane, waiting for him to challenge her but his shoulders sagged.

'Stop!' He shouted but it was too quiet against the noise so he had to scream again. 'Stop!'

There was an immediate silence that followed but it was as tense as if war drums had just halted before the first arrow was fired. Raven, Murphy and Octavia looked as though they would run forward and attack Kane at any moment.

'Let Clarke free.' He told the nearest guard.

'Sir?'

'Do it.' Kane ordered.

Lexa watched as the binds were cut and Clarke was set free. Clarke instantly stepped closer to Lexa, ready to face Kane together.

'You're right.' Kane said to Lexa but the silence was so dominating that his voice surely carried to the people gathered. 'We need Clarke and she doesn't deserve to die.'

Lexa glanced at Clarke, assessing that she was okay and Clarke nodded. Lexa stepped forward to Kane and she noticed Indra and Octavia immediately tensing but Murphy and Raven went straight to Clarke at the movement. Lexa stopped a yard away from Kane and looked upon him sadly.

'I know you lost someone you loved.' Lexa said. 'But vengeance is not the way.'

'What is?' Kane asked, hopelessly.

'Creating a new dawn of peace.' Lexa answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I promise that Clarke and Lexa will get a better time for it for a bit because I think I've put them through it enough in recent chapters! There's obviously still a lot going on though but they will be together and not facing the threat imminent death for a little bit. As ever, thank you so much for reading, kudos, comments, plugging this on Twitter, everything. You guys all rock and have made this fic such fun.


	72. Fight Night

Lexa pulled Clarke into their quarters behind her and firmly closed the door, half worried that Skaikru would change their mind and try to take Clarke again. She was shaking and yet Clarke seemed almost perfectly composed, except for the blazing intensity behind her eyes.

'What would you have done if they had refused?' Clarke demanded as she turned to face Lexa.

'Whatever was required.' Lexa answered simply.

Lexa stepped forward and pulled Clarke into a deep kiss, moving her backwards until they fell onto the bed.

'You could have been killed.' Clarke muttered angrily but distracted, between kisses.

Lexa pulled back slowly, glowering at Clarke.

'I could have been killed?' She hissed. 'Your plan was reckless. There was no thought behind it whatsoever-'

'Oh great, so I'm an idiot.' Clarke snapped.

'We could have planned together-'

'You were unconscious!' Clarke reminded her indignantly. 'The only plan was that you die of an infection or you get the medicine you required at Arkadia. There were no other options.'

'No other options except for you arranging your own execution?'

'I knew you would do something heroic.' Clarke deflected with a shy smirk but that only increased Lexa's outrage.

'You are impossible. You could have been kill-' Lexa's ranting was abruptly halted when Clarke leaned up and met Lexa's lips with her own.

Clarke's hands went to Lexa's waist but Lexa pilled them to the bed, above Clarke's head. Clarke was infuriating. Lexa had come so close to losing her but she was here and alive. Lexa was already lost to the touch of Clarke's lips against her neck but outrage still slammed against her chest with each beat of her heart.

Lexa pulled Clarke's clothes off roughly and annoyingly Clarke was smirking again. Lexa ignored Clarke's gentle laugh and pressed kisses along her collarbone. Her fingers ran down Clarke's arms and she felt Clarke shiver at the gentle touch. Her fingers danced along Clarke's wrists which were an angry red where they had been bound. Lexa turned her head to stare at her wrist. Clarke had made little attempt to move her arms after Lexa had released them; Lexa needed to feel Clarke fully and Clarke would give her everything and she always understood what Lexa craved and desired.

Anger swelled once more in the pit of Lexa's stomach at the sight of the marks, except for her wrists the rest of Clarke's skin was unblemished. Clarke was so brave and so absolutely careless and thoughtless with her own life...

 Lexa quickly lowered herself down Clarke's body nudged her shoulder underneath Clarke's thigh and Clarke instantly reacted, raising herself upwards and Lexa didn't hesitate to meet Clarke's core. Clarke's body sank back at the touch and she released a low moan. Lexa gasped slightly as her own tension rose at the sound. Lexa could hardly stand to remain in control at all when she had Clarke like this.

Clarke's hips rocked and Lexa dragged her tongue along Clarke's folds, desperate to taste her. The taste and scent of Clarke overwhelmed her every single time and Lexa found that she was soon panting Clarke's name and squeezing her thighs together as Clarke rocked into her face with desperate need.

Clarke was pleading Lexa's name over and over and Lexa smiled as she started to suck lightly on Clarke's clit. Clarke was a bundle of curses and gasps. It felt as though Clarke's words alone were burning Lexa inside out and she could hardly take it. As she continued to focus upon Clarke her hand slowly went to her waistband; she ached for some release but Clarke cried out.

'Please, Lexa. I want to touch you.' Clarke moaned and Lexa was surprised that Clarke had been watching her.

Lexa regretfully pulled her hand away but she smiled playfully as she ran it along Clarke's thighs and continued to make Clarke descend into a frenzied mess as she took her through her orgasm.

Clarke was panting heavily but she crawled clumsily back up and pushed Lexa down beneath her, kissing her roughly; knowing what Lexa needed. Her hand ghosted over Lexa's breasts, over her shirt and then over her abdomen. Lexa's back arched at the touch but Clarke didn't increased her pressure. She swiftly slipped her hand beneath Lexa's waistband and traced her fingers over Lexa's soaked underwear. The touch was light and teasing and in no way enough.

'Clarke,' Lexa pleaded and she guided Clarke's wrist as the woman smirked above her.

Lexa dropped Clarke's hand and cried out as Clarke's fingers slipped around her underwear and through her core. Lexa urged her on Clarke's fingers were relentless in their pace and Lexa's hips met each action desperately. Clarke could always read what she needed so well. Lexa released a loud cry and Clarke gave her a moment to recover before gently dragging Lexa onto her knees.

'You need more.' Clarke whispered, placing kisses to the base of Lexa's neck.

Lexa hummed, her eyes closed lazily, and she leaned into Clarke, tracing her back with her fingers.

Clarke moved to capture Lexa's lips, moaning slightly as she tasted herself. Lexa was disappointed when Clarke broke away but Clarke lowered herself to the bed so that Lexa was straddling her.

'Up.' Clarke indicated, grinning slyly.

'Clarke-' Lexa's voice was a breathy moan.

'Now.' Clarke smirked. 'I told you I want you.'

Lexa trembled as she crawled up Clarke. Her desire was as all consuming as ever and Clarke's sparkling gaze told her that Clarke knew it. Her knees were at either side of Clarke's head and she looked down at Clarke who was still smiling and then lowered herself.

'Fuck-' Lexa moaned as soon as Clarke's tongue met her and she gripped the headboard tightly so she didn't sink further into Clarke.

Clarke lavished every inch of her, her hands roaming her thighs as her mouth tenderly focused upon her core. Sweat ran down Lexa and her arms shook violently against the headboard as she cried curse after curse. Lexa's hips rolled slightly into each touch but her arms continued to grip the headboard to keep some semblance of control when Clarke was below her. Clarke was merciless in her ministrations and Lexa soon found herself crying out loudly and half collapsing against the headboard.

Clarke lovingly carried her through the hard orgasm and waited until Lexa unsteadily climbed off her and sunk into the bed. Clarke's fingers traced Lexa's toned stomach and Lexa could tell she was amused.

'Are you okay?' Clarke laughed.

Lexa could only nodded between pants and Clarke laughed even more loudly.

'You proved my point.' Lexa said, determinedly between each gasp for air.

'What was that?' Clarke questioned.

'We do that much better when we're together.'

Clarke groaned into her pillow and Lexa's eyes narrowed when she slowly raised her head and her brow was furrowed.

'You let yourself be captured by Azgeda...' Clarke said slowly, and clearly within the chaos of Arkadia she had forgotten how they had gotten into this mess in the first place.

'Clarke-' Lexa started uncertainly but Clarke rolled over and hit Lexa with her pillow.

Clarke straddled Lexa with her pillow raised threateningly again.

'You were the one who started this. If it wasn't for you-'

'You're right.' Lexa admitted. 'I'm sorry.'

Clarke raised her eyebrows.

'Just like that?'

'Sometimes we can't always work together but that doesn't mean we should just execute our own plans without at least discussing them first. I was wrong.' Lexa admitted.

'You were?' Clarke said, amused.

'Do you want to keep arguing or have sex?' Lexa asked impatiently.

'Wow,' Clarke mocked, 'and everyone thinks you're the romantic.'

Lexa grabbed Clarke's pillow from her hands and lobbed it playfully at her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd give you all a break from the intense stuff as the last few chapters have been pretty emotional!


	73. The Purpose of Us

Lexa, Clarke, Murphy and Kane met the next morning in the control room. Kane looked weary and his hair was lank. He seemed as sharp as ever when he did speak however and Lexa understood that whatever personal turmoil he was now experiencing with the death of Abby, he would still do what was right for his people.

'What about Raven?' Clarke asked, an edge to her voice; she was steeling herself for a fight.

'What happened?' Kane asked, dejectedly.

He looked utterly lost.

'My mother got a pistol out of her pack- I don't know which one of us she was going to shoot but Raven shot her before anything could happen.' Clarke said.

Lexa could see that Clarke was trying to hide her emotions. She could barely even look at Kane.

'Why?' Kane asked.

'You tell me.' Clarke retorted bitterly.

' _Blood must not have blood_.' Lexa interjected sternly and quickly before Kane could argue with Clarke.

Kane had said last night that the Coalition had shattered but Skaikru could help be the bringers of peace. They could rejoin and help build a strong coalition united against Azgeda.

'You want us to unite under you?' Kane said knowingly.

'Skaikru can lead the way to peace or it can do what it has always done and serve its own interests.' Lexa replied.

'Trikru are not entirely loyal to you.' Kane sighed. 'Too many people were lost and they hold you responsible.'

'Idiots.' Murphy muttered but Lexa silenced him with an angry glare.

'It matters not. Azgeda is the terror they face now.' Lexa replied.

'Lexa's their only hope. She's our only hope.' Clarke agreed.

'What of the other clans? We won't be able to take Azgeda alone and storm Polis.' Kane pointed out.

'The other clans are in even more chaos.' Murphy said disdainfully.

'And we won't be able to access them anyway. We'd have to cross Polis or Azgeda territory.' Clarke replied.

'There is one clan we can call upon.' Lexa told them. 'The other clans are unlikely to fully serve the King. Even facing only Azgeda, we will likely be outnumbered.'

'That's never stopped us before.' Clarke said quietly.

'And it won't now.' Murphy agreed.

* * *

 

'So do you think you get it?' Raven asked a silent Zoran who just nodded, not looking at her.

Zoran had been quiet since she had returned and Wick gave her a sympathetic glance. Wick had taught him basic things about wiring and connections and Zoran had soaked everything up. Raven was trying to teach him how to work the radios and the concept behind them but he'd not said a word to her. Finally, her patience ran out and she took the radio from him and put it roughly on the bench.

'What's wrong?' She asked, confused.

 Zoran gave her a pained look and he was clearly debating whether to speak at all but finally his need to fill the silence got the better of him.

'You left.'

Raven froze. Her mother had bailed on her enough times to know what it was like to feel left behind and that was on the damn Ark- there were only so many places a person could go.

'Only for a little while.' Raven replied softly. 'I had to help, Clarke. She's our friend, isn't she?'

'I was supposed to stay with you.'

'Zoran-'

Zoran turned and walked out of engineering and Raven watched him leave, at a loss.

'He'll come round.'

'Doubtful.' Raven muttered.

'He'll be over it in a day, max.' Wick dismissed but kindly. 'You were saving your friend and he cares for her too.'

'Yeah and now he hates me for it.' Raven mumbled and then with a disgusted realisation added, 'oh God. Is this what it feels like to be Clarke?'

Wick burst out laughing but Raven jumped at the sound of Clarke's voice as she appeared through the door.

'What are you saying about me?' Clarke's eyes narrowed, suspiciously.

'Nothing good.' Raven promised with a smirk.

'Oh good.' Clarke replied with a smile.

'I'll go check on kid chaos.' Wick offered and Raven nodded.

'Everything okay after yesterday?'

'I'm not dead.' Clarke said. 'And Lexa and I worked things out.'

'Yeah, my quarters are right next door. I heard.'

Clarke glared at Raven's smirk but her smile faltered quickly.

'You okay?' Clarke asked gently.

Raven sighed. She couldn't lie to Clarke, not after everything.

'Not really.'

Clarke nodded in understanding.

'Why don't you hate me?' Raven asked.

'Are you serious?' Clarke asked, perplexed. 'You saved me, Raven and you saved my mother from herself.'

'She's my friend and she's dead because of me.'

'She's dead because of the choices she made.' Clarke shook her head. 'We're all responsible for us getting to this point, Raven. It's not just on you.'

'So Kane is just going to let it go?' Raven asked, highly doubtful.

'He's grieving but he knows in his heart what happened.' Clarke said sadly. 'He doesn't hate you for it and you don't have to worry about facing any charges.'

Clarke had meant it as a consolation but it didn't make her feel any better.

'So what now?' Raven asked.

'Skaikru are uniting behind Lexa with Trikru with an eventual assault on Polis being the goal.'

'Another war?' Raven asked, entirely without surprise. 'Are they ever going to end?'

'Maybe not.' Clarke admitted.

'So what's the point?'

'Winning a war means maybe we can live tomorrow. Losing means we die today. That is the life we have.'

Raven turned to the monitors and found she had no answer for Clarke. She didn't know if this life was worth the pain. She'd kept going with her leg, deciding against amputation but now she'd killed her friend. She didn't know how to live with that.

'Hey,' Clarke said and Raven turned to her, 'even if you don't think it's worth it now, it is to me, Wick, Zoran and everyone else who needs you. You're not alone, Raven so stop closing yourself off from everyone.'

Raven sat quietly for a moment. It was not awkward when she and Clarke had been through so much together. It had been tense when she had landed and realised what had happened between Clarke and Finn but those disputes were long gone. It felt as though they had occurred in another life and Raven had to admit that hurt. She didn't want Finn to feel so far away.

'Do you ever think about him?' Raven asked quietly.

'Yes.' Clarke admitted. 'A lot.'

Clarke sighed and sat on one of the stools at the work bench.

'I miss the hope he once had. How he made everyone in the group feel better just by being there.' Clarke went on. 'I wonder what he'd make of all this but a lot of the time, I'm just so focused on trying to keep us alive I can't think of him or any of them. Lexa told me that the dead never leave us and she was right; we carry them with us. Even ALIE couldn't take that away in the end.'

Raven smiled sadly.

'You and Lexa just seem to fit together, you know?'

Clarke nodded.

'Finn would have been pissed.' Raven muttered and Clarke laughed loudly.

Maybe Clarke (and Lexa) were right. Talking about him made it feel as though he was with them. After the City of Light, Raven had felt as though she had let down everyone. They had used the memories and then they had disappeared as soon as they had served their purpose. Raven, in her mind, knew they weren't real and were based on their own projections but seeing all of her dead friends standing in front of her had a profound impact. They had felt real and maybe they were in the ways that mattered.

Yet here they were faced with another war and they couldn't call upon the dead to save them this time. Clarke's words echoed in her head. No matter how tired she was, she was not broken. She would see this through for Zoran, Clarke and the rest of her friends. They still needed each other and Raven wouldn't turn her back on them now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. Thanks so much for comments, kudos and reading at all :)
> 
> So yesterday I had a very brief catch up with some writer friends. Basically, the city I volunteer and occasionally work in has this massive queer arts scene. So many authors, poets, artists etc. It's all very cliche but such good fun. Anyway, we got chatting about the most difficult form of writing and I inevitably brought up my explorations with fanfic. It did win out among us as the most difficult either because of 1/ stigma and dismissal of the audience or 2/ because it's quite difficult to take someone else's characters and concepts and just run with it. One person I know runs this a few writers' groups every month and they start the first work shop of each each new intake starts with a fanfic where they take their favourite show or literature book and expand on it and people have apparently cried at it, which is quite intimidating. Anyway, the point of this little ramble is no matter what you love writing just keep going with it and exploring it. As long as you're writing, you're developing your skills and creativity. A good story to me is just one that you can get absolutely sucked into. I don't care if it's an entirely original concept or not. Look at the actual 100 itself, arguably that is fanfiction for TV as there's so many elements from other shows. I've been around the writing world since I was 13 and there's just such an infinite amount of snobbery which I worry puts people off every trying to explore their creativity. Writing should be fun, write what you want and the point of it is to go where no one ever dares to so if you ever get hate for your stories, poems, scripts, whatever then you're actually probably doing something right...


	74. A Question of Trust

'Why am I here?' Octavia asked Kane as they waited inside the interview room.

'Because you understand grounder culture and Lexa deferred this to me.' Kane sighed.

'Why did she do that?'

'Because she knew I'd ask for your help.' Kane replied. 'And because she doesn't believe it will lead anywhere.'

Octavia looked at Kane skeptically.

'Where's Clarke?'

'Otherwise engaged with Lexa.'

Octavia snorted.

'Rosar is good for information but given that Lexa put her in here she's probably nursing a grudge.'

'Agreed.' Kane replied. 'That's why I called upon someone else.'

Miller then walked through the door with Echo and she took a seat at the other side of the table, facing them.

'You can stay.' Kane told Miller who nodded.

'She fooled us once already.' Octavia spat, eyeing Echo angrily.

'Which is why she's perfect. We need someone cunning on our side who understands the weaknesses of Trikru, Skaikru and Ice Nation.' Kane muttered.

'What do I get out of this?' Echo demanded.

'Your freedom.' Kane responded.

Echo looked from both Kane to Octavia doubtfully.

'Where is Bellamy?'

Octavia visibily stiffened at his name.

'Dead.' She answered.

Echo was quiet for a moment before she commented.

'He was good to me.'

'And you took advantage of that.' Octavia pointed out.

'Azgeda was my home. Nia was talking about what a threat the great Wanheda was and how dangerous Skaikru would be to us if you got your hands on that missile system. Look what it did to TonDC. I didn't have a choice. I did it to protect my people.' Echo replied defiantly.

'Which means she is useless to us.' Octavia declared.

If Echo's loyalty remained so firmly with Azgeda then using her would just put them in danger.

'Working with Lexa is best for Azgeda.' Echo sighed and Octavia turned back to her in disbelief. 'The King is useless. He took over and everything fell apart. Within weeks we were out of food and the other clans wanted to cut off trading with us because he wanted to raise taxes on their sales. Then when the rain came Azgeda was the worst hit. We should have been protected in the mountains but we were weak. There was no order and he did nothing to help the healers and wouldn't allow any shelters to be built or for us to take room in his damn palace. Those without homes died one by one. He didn't give a damn. He was weak. He was too scared to make any decisions which is exactly why he crept through Polis as soon as he could. We fled to Trikru, desperate for a new life and in that chaos he ran to Polis and declared himself leader. He knows it was only a matter of time before his own people cut off his head.

'Lexa is a bitch and she humiliated a queen we loved but she would never abandon us like that.'

'A lot of your people think that's exactly what she did.' Octavia pointed out.

'She won a damn war and nobody can even begin to understand how. There are legends about her that she flew into the sky and went to war with the black rain clouds herself. They whisper that her and Wanheda are like gods.' Echo replied. 'Some hate her, yes, but not all and being able to make a life now is more important than the dead of a few months ago.'

'You'll aid us with intelligence on Ice Nation tactics and any information you can provide us on the King?' Kane asked.

Echo nodded.

'You'd help Skaikru who have done nothing for you?' Miller questioned.

'Bellamy did.' Echo replied coolly. 'As did Abby.'

'Abby?' Octavia repeated, confused.

'We knew that she would take in Azgeda warriors who were hurt or just those who had been starved and needed a place to stay. Since I've been here, I've heard a dozen stories about her too.' Echo explained. 'She tried to bridge the gap.'

'You'd have slit her throat if it suited you.' Octavia said quickly; she could feel the tension emitting from Kane at the mention of Abby.

'Yes.' Echo replied smoothly. 'But I would not have forgotten what she had done. She showed that perhaps we can work together.'

'We can't trust her.' Miller retorted.

'If this fails, my head will be mounted on his damn wall in Polis.' Echo replied darkly.

Octavia looked to Kane and knew that his mind had been made up. She couldn't help but wonder what trap Echo would lead them into this time; she had already fooled them once but perhaps like Abby, they needed some hope that they should be better. Octavia would not take any chances. Sentimentality was one thing, but they had to survive. If Echo thought about crossing them, she'd deliver Echo's head to the King herself.

* * *

 

Kane entered the control room and Lexa and Clarke immediately stepped away from each other at the sound of the door. Lexa regained her composure in a flash but Clarke struggled to look at Kane.

'Well?' Lexa prompted.

'Echo is providing Octavia with information. Everything from war tactics to preferred shelters and weapons vulnerabilities.' Kane informed her.

'She's tricked us once before.' Clarke warned.

'We don't have to use her information and there's a lot we will be able to corroborate before any attack on Polis.' Lexa reminded her.

'What of Rosar?' Clarke asked Kane, distaste seeping into her words.

'The model prisoner since she's been here. She has faith in her commander.'

Clarke looked as though she had just swallowed something particularly unsavory but Lexa seemed entirely uninterested.

'Octavia can watch over her and they may monitor the prisoners.' Lexa declared.

'Are we going to let them fight?' Clarke asked.

'No, a great many of them are in no condition to. We defeated them easily enough and we cannot trust their loyalties. They may still be useful, however. They have healers with them, for instance.'

'It was because of Abby that they want to help us.' Kane told them and Clarke and Lexa exchanged pained looks.

Every time he looked upon Clarke he saw her mother. Not just because of their shared genetics but because Abby poured so much of herself into Clarke and that had ultimately been what had killed her. The more he thought of what happened, and he longed to be able to forget but it haunted him every time he was left alone with his thoughts, the more he was sure Abby would have turned the gun on herself. She had been broken by this life. She had seen that there was nothing that could be done to reconcile her to Clarke and yet her last act had been to both try to save Clarke from herself but also to break the idea of the toxic hold of Wanheda. Kane had not agreed with Abby; Clarke had one of their only sources of hope for such a long time but now they were on the edge of yet another war and Clarke was once again helping to lead them to it. He understood it. He understood that war was sometimes unavoidable in this life but perhaps they had gotten into the habit of rushing to it far too quickly.

'Ice Nation respected her as a doctor for continuing to care for them even though they were regarded as the enemy by most of Skaikru, and especially by Wanheda.' Kane said. 'Your mother's legacy will be peace. What will yours be, Clarke?'

Clarke opened her mouth but she looked utterly lost for words and it was Lexa who answered.

'Hope. Hope for a better future. It was Clarke who helped to break the cycle of war. Now we have little choice but to respond in battle when Azgeda continues to tear lives apart and refuses to engage in diplomacy.' Lexa answered with finality and Kane nodded, all arguments exhausted, and left Clarke to Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. I know Kane will have annoyed a few people (because we all adore the amazing Clarke) but don't worry, he's not going to turn against Clarke. This isn't the start of Abby II. He's just lost Abby and his head is all over the place but he does feel a responsibility to Clarke now. He just needs a bit of time to be able to get his head together. 
> 
> I wanted to show Abby in a bit of a positive light too. I really wanted to paint both Abby's and Clarke's mind frames in the build up to what happened and I could understand Abby's perspective- she's weaker than Clarke but her entire career has been focused upon saving lives and not ending them. There was just a fundamental difference in ideas but it has at least meant that some good has come out of it what with Echo appreciating what Abby had done, as well as others of Azgeda. It doesn't really redeem her but it just shows that it just again shows how complex the actions taken are and again, maybe there are no good guys because both Clarke and Abby have been seriously flawed at times. 
> 
> Also, I promise more Clexa tomorrow. Hopefully you'll all like the stuff coming up.


	75. Pinky Promise

Monty collapsed on the bed, releasing an exhausted sigh.

'You only have twenty minutes.' Harper reminded him, remorseful.

Monty groaned, pulling a pillow over his face and he muttered angrily into it.

'What?' Harper laughed and Monty threw the pillow to the other side of the bed.

'Raven is going to work me to death.' Monty complained.

Harper rolled her eyes.

'She's not that bad.'

'She is, actually.' Monty retorted desperately. 'She's worse now than when we were working on bringing down ALIE.'

'She's trying to distract herself from-'

'I know.' Monty said quietly. 'She had to kill Abby and it's horrific. I understand that but she needs to slow down. I don't know how Zoran is keeping up with her.'

'Well, if a kid can handle it.' Harper smiled, and moving to the bed to straddle Monty. 'You definitely can.'

She pushed him back down on the bed playfully and got up as he groaned again in distress.

'I need sleep.'

'You need to get back to work.' Harper smiled, before leaving their quarters herself to get back to guard duty.

* * *

 

'So what do you think?' Miller asked Octavia and Indra as they watched a dozen Azgeda warriors lightly spar.

'Every clan has their own secrets.' Indra told him. 'They train with their own methods and their own knowledge of terrain. Trikru, for instance, can use the trees more effectively than all others.'

'They're relying on their power.' Octavia observed. 'There's not a great deal of skill. I've seen young Trikru warriors fight with more precision but their strength is relied upon to overpower their enemy.'

'Good.' Indra smiled at her observation.

Miller watched on nervously. Octavia was not wrong. So much of the Azgeda warriors' bulk was often put down to the great furs they wore but actually, without them it was clear to see that they had endured hard physical training for most of their lives. Miller didn't ever want to find out what it would be like to be punched by one of them.

'So we learn from them?' Miller questioned.

'They're slower but they can easily knock blades away and push through a battle with opponents who lack their strength.' Indra noted with bitterness ans Miller was curious as to how many Azgeda warriors she'd had to face over the years. `

'What about actually getting into Polis?' Miller asked and a confident smirk played at Indra's lips.

'Lexa knows that city inside out. I'd love to see anyone try to keep her out.'

* * *

 

Clarke smiled softly as she ran her fingers over Lexa's shoulder blade. Lexa was watching her tenderly as she lay on her stomach with her arms beneath her head. Clarke could hardly believe they were here in Arkadia like this. It still wasn't quite Polis but for once she was glad to have her friends and Lexa in the same place.

Lexa's bruising had greatly reduced and she'd stopped needing to visit medical as she had fully recovered from her infection. Lexa had settled into life into Arkadia quickly and Indra was working with both Skaikru and Trikru to establish stronger ties, just like before the black rain fell. Arkadia felt more alive than ever before what with Trikru being openly invited into the grounds and so warmly received. The peace could not give them a false sense of security however. They still had an almost insurmountable task ahead in taking on Ice Nation. Clarke was also keeping an eye on the prisoners; they had been treated well here but there was still so much bad blood between the clans that Clarke half expected them to revolt any day.

'Clarke,' Lexa started, with a touch of exasperation, 'stop.'

Clarke's hand froze against Lexa's skin and Lexa shuffled slightly where she lay and smiled.

'Stop worrying.' Lexa clarified and Clarke smiled apologetically.

'Sorry.'

'You miss your mother?' Lexa questioned gently and Clarke nodded slowly.

With Lexa she didn't have to elaborate. Lexa wove herself so thoroughly into her existence she read and felt every one of Clarke's emotions. Just having Lexa with her was always enough.

'Did you ever think about having a family?' Clarke asked delicately.

'I was brought up as a Nightblood and future commander. Such a fate was never thought possible.' Lexa admitted. 'What about you?'

'Not really.' Clarke shrugged. 'Life on the Ark never felt very hopeful. Then with the implant and being ready to be floated...'

Lexa turned on her side and nodded understandingly. Lexa laced their fingers together and Clarke smirked.

'You'd be a good mother. The Nightbloods all adored you...'

'That's hardly the same.' Lexa smiled.

Clarke allowed memories of Lexa with Aden to flood her mind, as well as musings about Lexa and their potential future together. She didn't know what to expect; war and death were always the likely scenarios but she wondered about living in peace in Polis again and what that would look like as the Commander's wife.

'I'm sorry.' Lexa said, hurt in her eyes and Clarke's brow furrowed in anxiety, 'for dragging you into another war.'

'Hey, that's not your fault and you haven't dragged me anywhere.' Clarke told her earnestly. 'And honestly? I'd be happy even if we had stayed in that hideous cave we went after you got shot.'

Lexa laughed lightly.

'Really?' She asked skeptically.

'I'm very low maintenance.' Clarke retorted but then her voice was much softer. 'None of this is your fault. You're the only one holding everyone together. Don't ever apologise for who you are.'

'I thought I could deliver us peace-'

'And we'd live happily?' Clarke asked knowingly. 'You are bringing peace. It's everyone else that has made it go to hell time and again and I'm right with you through all of it. I'm happy with you and I'm not going anywhere.'

Clarke felt a stab of guilt when she saw how vulnerable Lexa was in that moment. Lexa had wanted Skaikru in the Coalition in the first place to protect her and to do what was right for her people too. Everyone else had managed to completely tear down any chance at peace but yet still Lexa remained their pillar of hope. Lexa who just a week before had stood weaponless in front of the entire population of Arkadia and demanded that _blood must not have blood_. Clarke was sick of the bloodshed, tired of the grief and weary with the pain of war but she would survive it all gladly with Lexa.  

When Lexa remained contemplative, Clarke offered her little finger to her and Lexa stared at it utterly bewildered.

'Give me your little finger.' Clarke demanded, amused at Lexa's total confusion.

Lexa tentaively reached across and held out her little finger and Clarke hooked hers around it.

'I pinky promise that I am happy with you.' Clarke smirked and Lexa laughed.

'Pinky promise?'

'This means as much as any vow of fealty.' Clarke teased as Lexa continued to laugh.

Clarke watched, with mirth in her eyes, while Lexa struggled to get over her laughter. Hearing Lexa's laugh always felt like a victory in this life.

After a few moments, Lexa's amusement subsided and she snuggled in closer to Clarke.

'You know,' Clarke started delicately, 'there's another kind of promise I could make...'

'Hm?' Lexa hummed.

Lexa's eyes were brimming with curiosity and they were inches from her own now. Clarke searched for any trace of lingering doubts from Lexa but even though she'd felt guilty at the situation a moment before, love was etched in every green fleck of her eyes. Still, Clarke couldn't help but feel nervous.

'I know you said we didn't need a ceremony...' Clarke went on timidly, '...but it might be ...nice and we have the time...'

Lexa moved back slightly and Clarke knew it was to be able to scrutinise every inch of Clarke's expression and currently, Clarke was having to resist the tremendous urge to hide her face under her pillow.

'Let's get married then.' Lexa said softly, her eyes sparkling.

'Really?' Clarke asked, surprised despite the fact it had been her suggestion.

'It's all that I want.' Lexa promised her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I'd give you guys some happy chapters and I keep my promises :P


	76. About Damn Time

'Hey,' Clarke greeted Octavia as she sat down next to her on the edge of the grounds of Arkadia and they watched the warriors training.

'Lexa doesn't want us to use guns.' Octavia commented.

'No.' Clarke replied.

'Good.'

'How are you doing?' Clarke asked and Octavia sighed.

'What's this about, Clarke?'

Clarke shook her head and stood up again.

'Forget it.'

'Clarke,' Octavia began, relenting and standing up too, 'Raven told me about you and Lexa. I hope it goes well.'

Clarke's eyes widened in surprise. She never expected Octavia to comment on it. They'd managed to find a way to work together but that was about all they had achieved between them. The old habit of trying to make peace with her people hadn't yet left Clarke but there was still a resentment over being asked to kill Bellamy. It burned a little less strongly since they had all had to face their memories in the City of Light but it did still remain.

'Thank you.' Clarke said. 'Do you want to come?'

The words were wrenched from her against her free will. She didn't have a clue what had inspired her to make such an offer and surely it would be the last thing Octavia would ever want and yet there was a small smile on Octavia's face and it held no malice.

'No,' Octavia sighed, 'you guys need me here.'

Clarke nodded, not surprised but as she turned away Octavia spoke and she spun back to her slowly.

'I'm glad you two have figured things out though.'

Clarke looked at her quizzically.

'Some of us should get to be happy.' Octavia explained.  'And you two just kind of...fit. In kind of a sadistic way...'

Clarke chuckled lightly at that.

'I can't remember what it was like before I was in love with her.' Clarke admitted. 'It feels like she's always, always been there. I know that sounds-'

'It doesn't.' Octavia said, her eyes wet. 'It makes sense.'

Clarke wanted to reach out and comfort Octavia but she knew she would be rebuffed. Her greatest fear had been losing Lexa. The terror that she had felt when Lexa was shot, when Lexa had faced Ontari and when Skaikru had kidnapped her felt like it was about to snap her in two. It hurt to look at Octavia as she was the reminder that life did go on, and incredibly painfully, once you had lost your love. At least the overwhelming anger that had driven her to seek Bellamy's death had abated. Even after everything though, she hoped that maybe one day Octavia would be able to find some peace.

* * *

 

'So why is there a feast if this is a secret wedding?' Raven asked Murphy as they made their way through the forest to where the tents were set up.

'Because it keeps everyone busy and distracted.' Murphy replied. 'And how much of a secret wedding is it anyway when you've told everyone?'

'I only told Wick and Zoran!' Raven defended.

'And Octavia, Miller, Harper and Monty.'

'They don't count; they're the hundred.' Raven pointed out and Murphy sighed in exasperation. 'I can't believe they're getting married in a tent.'

'I can't believe they're getting married.' Murphy retorted.

'About damn time.' Raven hummed.

'No kidding.'

'Did you ever want to?' Raven asked curiously.

'Do I look like marriage material to you?' Murphy shot at her and Raven snorted.

'Fair point.'

Raven sighed looking at the several tents in the distance.

'Great, now I have a freaking Clarke to sort out.' Raven muttered.

'My sympathies.' Murphy bowed, backing to the tents, 'I only have a freaking Lexa.'

* * *

 

Clarke sat at the mirror and she was surprised she wasn't shaking. Even when she was running to escape Mount Weather and had a dozen guards chasing her she had not been this nervous. She was convinced she was going to throw up.

'Clarke, you're going to be fine.' Raven told her and Clarke turned to her face her, panic stricken.

'I don't know what I was thinking.'

'That you love her.' Raven said kindly.

'Raven, I'm in a tent, in the middle of the woods, about to get married.' Clarke stated as though it was the most absurd thing that could ever happen.

'Yeah...that was kind of the point...' Raven pointed out.

'This is ridiculous.' Clarke half shouted, actually standing up. 'There's wars going on, people are dying-'

'Clarke,' Raven said, stepping forwards and gripping her shoulders and Clarke was relieved because she was sure she would faint soon, 'you deserve to be happy.'

'Do I?' Clarke asked, disbelieving.

'Yes.' Raven smiled. 'And you look amazing so there's no way you're backing out now.'

Clarke laughed slightly and looked down at herself before meeting Raven's gaze.

'Do grounders even wear white?'

Clarke had managed to get a white dress earlier that day. Lexa had basically ordered every clothes merchant within the Trikru lands to come to Arkadia and they had all fought for the chance to be of service to Heda, even if they didn't know exactly how important the event was going to be.

Clarke had managed to find a loose fitting white dress, with thin straps. It almost reminded her of her nightgown back in Polis but it's flowing nature had soothed her as she tried it on and she had felt free. In that moment she had just been Clarke and not Wanheda.

'I'm not telling you what Lexa's wearing.' Raven smirked.

Clarke rolled her eyes but her nerves came back in force at the thought of Lexa. Lexa might change her mind. No commander had ever been married before. It was against every tradition. The relationship they shared had already enraged people of every clan.

'The way she looks at you,' Raven smiled and Clarke appreciated how Raven had read her mind, 'it's so full of love, and awe and wonder. She's only gentle with you. She's only Lexa with you. If you think you're nervous right now, then imagine how she feels.'

Clarke smiled slightly but the words made her want to run to Lexa. She didn't want her to be afraid or nervous. The thought of Lexa calmed her and gave her strength because Lexa needed her.

She looked to Raven but pain and guilt hung in her eyes and Clarke knew. She felt the absence keenly in this moment.

'Raven, even if things were different she still wouldn't be here.' Clarke said, slightly dully.

Clarke couldn't imagine her mother ever wanting to attend her wedding to Lexa.

'I think she'd make it.' Raven said sadly. 'She'd just glare at Lexa a lot.'

Clarke smiled darkly at that. She still remembered her mother's expression just during Skaikru's initiation into the Coalition. She'd never imagined getting married on the ground but whenever she had wistfully thought about it on the Ark, her parents had been there.

She still felt the pain of their loss and right now, she missed the things she would never get to have. Her parents would never watch her get married but it could not dull her contentment, not when Raven was standing there and supporting her, not now when her friends were still going and certainly not when she was sharing her life with Lexa.

'I'm ready.' Clarke told Raven.

'About damn time' Raven smiled.

* * *

 

'You need anything?' Murphy asked, standing awkwardly in the tent.

'No, I'm ready.' Lexa told him softly.

'Nervous?' He asked.

'A little.' Lexa admitted, in spite of herself.

Murphy smiled, and it wasn't a smirk for possibly the first time Lexa had ever seen him. It was small and soft and slightly shy.

'She really loves you.' Murphy reassured her.

'I know.' Lexa said. 'Are you nervous?'

'No,' Murphy brushed off, exaggeratedly, 'I can do this in my sleep.'

'Please don't.' Lexa replied seriously.

* * *

 

Clarke paced nervously outside the tent. She was glad for the Trikru singer's voice (and the playing harp) inside carrying through the woods and it would surely hide her state of complete panic.

'Clarke,' Raven said, slightly sharp, 'I'm going in now. You're going to be fine.'

Clarke looked as though Raven had announced she was about to march into Polis and take on Ice Nation herself but before she even had time to think of response, Raven had already disappeared into the tent. Clarke took a deep breath and cursed herself for thinking this would be something enjoyable before turning and walking into the tent.

Clarke passed slowly by the woman singing in delicate notes and she felt the warm glow of at least one hundred candles. Clarke smirked at Lexa's damn candle obsession- not that Clarke complained; after life in space the natural amber flicker of a flame was somewhat soothing to her.

Clarke continued forward, her eyes fixed on Lexa. Lexa had, in fact, chosen to wear white. It was a simple dress and yet it enhanced Lexa's natural stunning beauty. Clarke had never seen her look so light and she was beaming shyly at Clarke and Clarke couldn't stop her own full smile reaching her face. Clarke stopped before Murphy and next to Lexa and Lexa immediately reached for her hands. Lexa's hair was free from braids and loose and flowing. Lexa seemed completely relaxed and Clarke's nerves began to settle slightly.

'Hi,' Clarke said softly to a smiling Lexa.

'Finally.' Murphy muttered and he rolled his eyes when Raven hissed at him.

They waited as the song gently came to its end and Clarke instantly missed the comforting sounds. It had seemed to encapsulate the quiet peace of love, which Clarke was thankful for.

'So,' Murphy started, 'we are here on this evening-'

'Just skip to the vows.' Clarke muttered quickly to him but she quickly turned back to Lexa. 'If that's okay?'

Lexa's eyes were wide in surprise and amusement at Clarke's nerves but she nodded anyway.

'Okay, so romantic as ever, Clarke.' Murphy said.

'Murphy!' Raven hissed.

'Okay, you may declare your vows, Clarke.'

Clarke, however, turned to Murphy in abject horror.

'What?' Murphy asked, perplexed. 'You just said-'

'I can go first.' Lexa swiftly interjected and Murphy grumbled again about Clarke but he was soon quietened by the look Lexa gave him.

Lexa held Clarke's gaze; it was a subtle act to show Clarke she was here in this moment and not going anywhere. Clarke felt Lexa squeeze her hand lightly and she wondered how on earth Lexa could be so calm in this moment.

'Clarke, you taught me to embrace love. Your wild, impossible spirit and your overwhelming heart found an easy match for any lessons I was ever taught about love being weakness. There's much to admire about you. I don't think anyone who has walked on the ground has ever had such a capacity to love. The simple fact that remains among all of your complexities however, is that I just love you. I vow that you will never be alone, that I will share each moment with you and that I will always be by your side.'

Clarke laughed softly and raised one of her hands, that was still holding Lexa's, and wiped her eyes before lowering again. Lexa was watching her with utter love and affection and Clarke was sure that look alone said more than all the words that could ever pass between them.

Murphy hummed nervously.

'Clarke?' He prompted.

'Oh, damn it.' Clarke hissed, realising it was her turn and Lexa, Murphy and Raven laughed.

Lexa had been remained the epitome of composure and Clarke let herself draw strength from that. She looked down at their entwined fingers and then back to Lexa who was waiting patiently as ever.

'On the Ark I had everything,' Clarke started, 'and I had nothing. Our entire existence was about survival, maintaining the status quo. The ground didn't make me free. It was just the same context really: survival and nothing else, until I met you. I know that people whisper about my influence on you but the truth is it's completely the other way around. You were the one who made me think there was more to life than just surviving. You were the one who made me feel like we could find peace and live in love.

'I never thought about anything other than my responsibilities or my people until I met you. This is right and it works because we make each other better. You give me hope.' Clarke's voice wavered slightly and she swallowed back her tears; she was determined to get through this before she cried. 'So I promise I'll keep working, I'll keep trying not to lose sight of what matters because you are the one that keeps me grounded.'

Clarke had never known Lexa to look as content or self assured. She knew Lexa had felt their love but she wondered if she had really known it up until this point, up until Clarke was actually standing here and delivering her vows. Lexa had always let Clarke do everything in her own time but relief carried through Clarke that Lexa could now hear this and that she had been able to share this moment with her. Too many times they had been kept apart, or had let so many things go unsaid and although Clarke was always confident that Lexa would love her, she was glad that they could finally do it and say everything they wanted to say even if it ended up being just this once.

Raven sniffed loudly and Clarke turned to smirk at her.

'Sorry!' Raven said, wiping her eyes.

Murphy, however, rolled his eyes at her.

'Okay, rings.' He said with relief that this was nearing its conclusion.

'Oh.' Clarke said, looking down at their hands. 'We already have them.'

'Of course you do.' Murphy retorted. 'You two do everything in your own special way.'

Clarke kept smiling radiantly at Lexa as she stretched out her foot and gave Murphy's leg a swift kick.

'Ouch. Fine.' He grunted. 'Then I now declare you married.'

Clarke stepped forward and kissed Lexa passionately, unable to stop herself smiling. They broke apart laughing as the harp began playing again and Raven was cheering quite loudly and over the top but Clarke couldn't help but think that all of this was about damn time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Hopefully you enjoyed this as I kind of feel naturally more at home writing the darker stuff :P It's very rare to get a purely happy chapter like this so it was a nice change. I promise everything isn't immediately going to go to hell though.


	77. Such thing as soul mates?

'I can't believe those idiots are married.' Raven muttered, taking a swig of wine as she and Murphy sat on the floor of his tent.

'Of all the things that have happened, that's the unbelievable one for you?' Murphy retorted, taking the wine off her and a great gulp himself.

'You might have a point there.' Raven said, taking the wine back off him. 'Imagine if they have kids. How would they ever explain that?'

Raven immediately tried to impersonate Clarke.

'Well, kids your mom wanted the boy who was in love with me dead and then I fell for her.'

Murphy took the wine back off Raven and looked at her sympathetically.

'I don't hate Lexa.' Raven clarified.

'I know.' Murphy said.

'It's just all a bit weird sometimes.'

'Yeah, I watched my girlfriend's face get melted off by black rain. You really don't need to tell me that.' Murphy replied.

'Sorry.' Raven said, taking the wine off him again and taking another swig. 'This is disgusting.'

'And not as strong as Monty's moonshine.' Murphy lamented.

'Yeah, Clarke should have invited him just for the booze.' Raven said indignantly.

'Please, she was freaked out enough without a bigger audience.' Murphy smirked.

'Yeah, that girl is terrible at dealing with her feelings.' Raven snorted. 'And yet somehow it was Lexa of all people that made her face them.'

Murphy chuckled lightly.

'I'm just glad they're back together. Lexa was an absolute misery without Clarke.'

'I promise that Clarke was worse.' Raven insisted. 'The amount of times she sulked over Rosar-'

'Oh please, Lexa was waiting to burst Rosar's ego. Rosar never stood a chance against Clarke. Niylah hanging around Arkadia though...now even I admit I had my suspicions...'

'She tried.' Raven shrugged. 'But Clarke was oblivious.'

'They're so pathetic for each other.' Murphy retorted.

'So do you believe in it?' Raven asked quietly. 'The whole one true love thing?'

'No,' Murphy dismissed, 'I think we can fall in love deeply and maybe find a soul mate or two but it's a lot of work. Those two aren't a fairytale. They had their issues and they worked hard on them to get beyond that.'

Raven laughed.

'You're such a romantic.'

Murphy chuckled lightly.

'I do try.' Murphy went to grab the bottle from Raven but her hand gripped it and they both tugged at it in amusement, neither giving up.

 They locked eyes with each other and Raven's challenging smile faltered slightly as they hovered slightly closer to each other.

'I shot you.' Murphy said quietly.

'I tried to hand you to the grounders.' Raven replied, her voice barely a whisper. 'I loved Finn.'

'And I loved Emori.' Murphy responded.

'So this is a bad idea...' Raven said quietly.

'Yeah, pretty bad...'

Murphy and Raven leaned into the other and met with a fierce kiss. The wine bottle was soon knocked over and utterly forgotten.

* * *

 

'Training is done for the day.' Octavia reported to Indra.

'How is it coming along?'

'Better. When will the assault be launched?' Octavia asked.

'Not until Lexa is sure of a victory.' Indra replied.

'So what's her next step?' Octavia asked and Indra just raised her eye brows. 'Fine. I'll support Heda no matter what her plans.'

'Octavia,' Indra sighed, 'Lexa will want you with her. You're a great warrior and she will want the best around Clarke at the least. She will include you in her plans when it is time.'

Octavia relented only slightly.

'I suppose she is busy tonight.'

'Indeed.' Indra replied, with a hint of distaste and Octavia smiled.

'Maybe they're actually good for each other.' Octavia offered.

'I make no comment on Heda's private life.' Indra retorted. 'But even I acknowledge Clarke makes a better ally than a foe.'

* * *

 

'How do you feel?' Lexa asked as soon as they were inside her tent.

Lexa had managed to put even more candles into this tent and Clarke was beginning to worry that they were actually her true love.

'Happy.' Clarke confessed. 'Is that wrong? With everything going on?'

'No,' Lexa said softly, pressing her lips against Clarke's for a brief second, 'we must enjoy it when we can.'

Clarke swallowed as Lexa carefully brushed one of the dress straps from her shoulder and pressed another kiss to her lips. Clarke deepened the kiss and pulled Lexa to her, one hand stroking through Lexa's hair and the other gliding over her back.

'What about you?' Clarke murmured against Lexa's lips. 'Are you happy?'

'Yes, Clarke,' Lexa smiled against her, 'I'm very happy.'

Clarke bit at Lexa's lower lip before kissing her slowly and tenderly again. Lexa carefully stripped Clarke of her clothes all the while so that Clarke was stood naked in front of her. Clarke broke the kiss, grinning before walking around Lexa. Her hands went to the zip at Lexa's dress and she slowly lowered it, watching Lexa's breath hitch. Clarke pressed soft kisses to Lexa's shoulder blades as the dress fell away and she stripped Lexa too.

Clarke was standing so closely her breasts skimmed lightly along Lexa's back and she heard Lexa's trembling breath. Clarke brushed Lexa's hair to the side slightly so she could suck at the nape of her neck and Lexa gave a soft moan and leaned back into Clarke.

Clarke's mouth continued to explore Lexa's neck as her hands pulled around Lexa. Her fingers started lightly tracing Lexa's stomach before climbing and reaching her breasts. Lexa released a low moan and her own hands went to cover Clarke's as Clarke continued to to caress her breasts. Clarke could feel Lexa's need as her hands encouraged Clarke to touch her firmly as she could not touch Clarke herself. Clarke nipped at Lexa's ear lobe lightly with her teeth as one hand ran down to Lexa's wet centre. Lexa fell back into Clarke slightly more at the touch and Lexa's stance grew steadily weaker as Clarke teased her clit.

Lexa's hand squeezed Clarke's needing still more contact as Clarke's fingers danced pleasurably over her body.  Clarke's mouth went to Lexa's ear and she murmured all of the different ways she loved Lexa's body and exactly how she was always desperate to see Lexa become undone by her hands. Lexa's other hand went to the back of Clarke's head, trying to steady herself but also to pull Clarke even closer into her as Clarke continued to drive her forwards. Clarke's arm quickly was around her waist as Lexa reached her orgasm and held her steady to her.

'Bed?' Clarke asked in Lexa's ear, still holding Lexa securely.

'Now.' Lexa laughed, panting steadily.


	78. Marked from Birth

_'How's Clarke? I've not seen her much since we got back to Polis.' Murphy smirked at Lexa as they waited in the throne room before the next meeting began._

_Lexa ignored the implication between Murphy's words and smile._

_'She's stepped back from the daily politics, which is a break she has well earned.' Lexa replied but then added, 'she has concerns over Bellamy.'_

_'I don't see why you don't just declare war and wipe the drop ship lot out.' Murphy mused. 'Problem solved.'_

_'Right now they've only harassed Arkadia. It is Octavia's problem to tackle. It was a minor incident involving their scouts. They have not involved the other clans and so it is to be considered an internal dispute among the Sky People.'_

_'You realise that means waiting for Bellamy to kill Trikru?' Murphy asked cynically._

_'I won't wipe an entire population out before they've taken any action.'_

_'It's inviting trouble.'_

_'Responding too heavily would be grossly unfair to those who followed Bellamy out of loyalty. Many trusted his vow that he did not want war and how do you think the other clans would react if I crushed an entire settlement on a whim?'_

_'They would take note of your power.'_

_'Or it would give them reason to rally against me.'_

_Their conversation was abruptly broken when the King of Azgeda and his ambassador walked through the open door and into the throne room. Lexa eyed the guards who understood the signal and closed the door._

_This was to be Lexa's first meeting with the new King. She had been in regular contact with the ambassadors and by all that she had heard Azgeda was not experiencing a smooth transition with its new ruler. It was always unusual for her to get so involved in domestic affairs of one clan._

_'Heda,' The King bowed briefly._

_'King Soal.' Lexa greeted briefly. 'Ambassador.'_

_Lexa noticed Murphy's gaze glance at the King's right hand for the briefest of seconds before locking back onto his face. The King had three small fingers which had grown out of the top of the back of his hand due to the effects of radiation._

_'Trikru have opened up trade to Azgeda and we will also send emergency aid to avoid famine.' Lexa informed him._

_'Thank you, Heda.' The King responded, albeit somewhat coldly._

_'However, your borders have become less secure and there have been reports that one of Trikru's warriors was killed by an Azgeda thief. Trikru will support you but there must be a guarantee of peace.'_

_'Yes, Heda.' The King replied again. 'Trikru has my fullest assurances that this will not be repeated.'_

_'I understand that Azgeda has experienced many changes within recent months but the situation needs to be brought into control.' Lexa stated._

_'Nia ruled with fear. She never stocked more than a few weeks worth of crops so that she would have a bargaining tool over her own people.' Soal spat._

_'Nia is gone, as is Roan, and now it is time for you to set aside the past and build a prosperous future for Azgeda.' Lexa said._

_'Of course.'_

_Soal and the ambassador recognised the dismissal and left Murphy to Lexa._

_'He didn't give away much.' Murphy said._

_'No.' Lexa agreed. 'He would not.'_

_'I thought babies who were born with the effects of radiation are left out to die.' Murphy questioned._

_'They are.' Lexa said. 'Nia's sister was the mother of Soal. Nia ordered the baby not merely to be left to die but killed by his own mother as Nia viewed that her sister had personally disgraced their lineage. She refused and fled with her son. It was some years later when he was found again. His mother was dead and he acted as a bounty hunter at the age of eleven.'_

_'He was a bounty hunter at eleven years old?'_

_'Yes.' Lexa answered. 'He had few options available to make a living. However, Nia had never given up her longing for his death and he was captured once he strayed back into Azgeda territory and brought to her.'_

_'She changed her mind?' Murphy asked._

_'Yes, but not out of any sympathy for Nia had none.' Lexa replied. 'Roan was already a disappointment to her and the Commander before me was even less of a friend to Nia. I believe at this point, Nia saw even what she thought of as bad blood as a strength in her corner. Even if Roan failed in his duty, there would be another as long as she trained him well and remember what that meant when it came to Ontari.'_

_Murphy shuffled uncomfortably._

_'So he's going to be an evil bastard too?'_

_'Not everyone reacts the same.' Lexa said.'Soal would have received harsher lessons than either Roan or Ontari; he was viewed as a stain and weak because of his hand. He was trained to be more harsh and ruthless but he was also hidden away. He was allowed to live as a measure of last resort but Nia was ashamed of him. He has hardly had any interaction with anyone since he was a boy. His existence was merely a rumour up until Roan's death.'_

_'I almost feel sorry for him.' Murphy muttered._

_'We don't yet know what to expect of him as king.' Lexa reasoned. 'It'll take some adjustment. He has been put through a tremendous amount.'_

_'This whole purity of body thing..'_

_'Is a myth and a dangerous one. I've long argued that babies who have manifested the effects of radiation should be offered shelter and support from those who would see them dead. We have created specific orphanages and schools for them but the clans are resistant to a change in their ways. You have seen that with jus no drein jus daun.'_

_'Emori. She's lucky to be here at all, isn't she?'_

_'Emori has never given up but she also had a brother who did care for her. Many children in such circumstances are left alone and with no hope at all.'_

* * *

'Raven! I've made three more walkies!' Zoran shouted and Raven grimaced.

'That's great!' She said through a false smile and Zoran's eyes glinted with delight.

Wick laughed at her from across the work bench.

'So somebody enjoyed the festivities...' Wick joked.

Raven groaned.

'I hate wine.'

'Hey,' Wick shrugged, 'you can live with a hangover. It's good that you got to have some fun for a change. How are the little love birds anyway?'

Raven snorted at the description of Lexa and Clarke as 'love birds'.

'Clarke made it clear that I was not to bother her for at least today.' Raven said.

'Only one day for a honey moon?' Wick quizzed. 'Kind of rough.'

'Don't jinx them.' Raven muttered. 'Usually they're lucky if they get an hour where things haven't gone to complete crap.'

'Do you think they'll have a baby now?' Zoran asked.

'Give them a chance, kiddo.' Wick laughed.

'Yeah, and don't say that to Clarke. She was terrified last night just at getting married.'

'I think we're all just a lot more used to dealing with the bad stuff.' Wick reasoned.

'That sucks.' Zoran piped up and Raven glared at Wick.

'Seriously, stop being a bad influence.'

'I didn't do anything!' Wick defended.

* * *

 

Kane looked down at the earth that still looked freshly dug. The sound of the running water was somehow soothing to him. He had to admit, there wasn't a more beautiful place that he had seen down on the ground.

'Sir, take as long as you need.' Miller informed him and he left Kane and stood next to the rover, keeping watch.

Kane stared at the earth. There were flowers growing along the edge of where the grass met the dirt and Kane smiled sadly. He hoped soon that the flowers would spread.

'So, Clarke married Lexa.' Kane said, managing to smile slightly at the thought. 'I didn't go. Judging by Raven's hangover it was quite the event though.'

Kane played with his hands nervously. Maybe Abby couldn't hear him but just saying the words aloud felt like he was repaying some debt, like it would matter to her.

'I know how you feel about Lexa but Clarke is her whole world. Clarke's different too around her. It's not that all that grief and anger is suddenly gone. She still runs around trying to save the world but it seems to ease ever so slightly. She seems a little more lighter when she's with Lexa.

'And now we're going off to war again.' Kane sighed. 'Getting Lexa back in command is the only way to bring peace. Maybe this time it'll last. I don't know if I have much hope anymore but I don't want us to just be getting through the day.

'Try not to worry about medical. Arkadia misses you, more than they even realise but you trained Jackson well. Nyko has stayed too. You were right about Azgeda. They are helping us. Turns out all it took was a little kindness and acknowledging our shared humanity. We should try that more often.'

Kane kissed his index and middle finger and stooped down and grasped the soil.

'May we meet again.' He whispered, a single tear falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Thank you so much for all your kudos and comments lately. :) I thought it was about time we got some background on the King now that things have settled down at Arkadia and assaulting Polis is the end objective to Lexa now.


	79. Born For

'You can't trust her.' Indra warned Lexa as they walked through the grounds of Arkadia.

Lexa had known this was coming. She was glad of Indra's renewed commitment to serving her as Heda but she did not require her advice. She had thought this through.

'She will not have a chance to betray us or risk what we have built.' Lexa commented. 'We simply need a meeting and then she can decide her involvement.'

'Why ask at all? She's a coward!'

'The more allies against Azgeda the better for us.' Lexa commented.

'She will not help us. It is a waste of time.'

'Not to me.' Lexa said sharply.

Indra had the decency to look slightly ashamed of her belligerence.

'We cannot go into a battle without being sure that we have exhausted all possible routes of ensuring reinforcement and aid.' Lexa reasoned.

* * *

 

Raven walked quickly along the halls of Arkadia and she smiled briefly as she passed Murphy.

'You're avoid me.' He said as he came to a halt in the hall and Raven turned around, looking slightly embarrassed.

'I'm not. I've got a lot to do in a day, Murphy. Don't you have a Lexa to follow?' She challenged slightly.

'Fine.' Murphy shrugged. 'So much for thinking you could act like a grown up for one minute.'

'That's not fair!' Raven demanded quietly, stepping closer to him so that nobody could overhear.

'Raven, you're being nicer to the Azgeda raiders-'

'I am not!' Raven hissed. 'It's just - it's weird- we hate each other.'

'I don't hate you.' Murphy denied simply.

'You don't?' Raven asked, highly doubtful and crossing her arms. 'I wanted to hand you over to the grounders.'

Murphy shrugged.

'Things happen.'

'Things happen?' She repeated, aghast.

'I get over things.' Murphy replied nonchalantly.

'Implying that I don't?' Raven asked angrily.

'Look, I get it. There was a lot of wine and I shot you and I'm a big reason why you've been through so much.' Murphy said. 'Honestly, if you can't move beyond it I understand. You didn't screw up or anything sleeping with me so stop being hard on yourself. Like I said, there was wine and things happen.'

'Apparently.' Raven mumbled defensively.

'If you're not interested or you want the fairy tale with Wick, then go for it. He's a good guy and I am not an idiot; I am most definitely not a good guy but I like you.'

'You can't like me.' Raven scoffed.

'You're annoying as fuck, don't get me wrong but you're kind of special too.' Murphy replied calmly. 'Ball's in your court, Raven.'

Raven watched as he turned back and left the corridor and she was left completely confused as to how she had gotten into this mess.

* * *

 

Clarke looked up from her sketch book when she heard somebody sit opposite her but her smile quickly fell when she saw that it was Octavia.

'Don't look so happy to see me.' Octavia muttered.

'I thought you were Lexa.' Clarke defended; she'd been waiting in the mess hall for when Lexa finally had finished receiving the reports of Trikru from Indra.

'Nice maps.' Octavia said, inclining her head towards Clarke's sketches.

Clarke had spent hours pouring over her sketch book and creating maps of Polis and what she had remembered of the tunnels. She had also grilled Lexa on all that she knew of Polis including facets of the city that others may find insignificant, such as the broken step third from the bottom of the stairs leading to the gardens. Clarke wanted to know every detail she could so that when they went to battle it was to make sure they were fully prepared. Even tiny details could prove useful; such as if they did a silent assault at night they would need to know the corridors that were in the shade and not exposed by moonlight. She'd taken the same tactic in their planning operations against the mountain.

'Anything that will help.'

'You're nothing if not thorough.' Octavia said, but with a slight bite.

'Forgive me for wanting to be prepared for when we go off to war.'

'Maybe we shouldn't.' Octavia suggested.

'What are you talking about?' Clarke asked. 'You've seen what Ice Nation has done.'

'Yeah, and I've also seen the many Trikru warriors exhausted from fighting and how content everyone here is.'

'They weren't content this morning when we had another three from Trikru admitted to medical with arrow wounds from Azgeda.'

'How many wars do you want?' Octavia demanded.

'None of this has been about what I want.' Clarke reminded her.

She didn't exactly feel that Octavia had a right to be lecturing her on avoiding violence after what had happened to Bellamy.

'Nobody wants to have to keep going off to war.' Clarke said, her tone slightly softer. 'But if this keeps up then best case scenario is we get more raiders attacking Trikru and worst case scenario is that the King gets bored in his tower and decides to give Trikru and Skaikru lands to his own clan.'

'I know...' Octavia sighed.

'I need you with us, Octavia. We can't do this without you.' Clarke carried on determinedly when Octavia looked incredulous. 'It's true. When you train with them, they watch you in awe. When they're fighting, they all want to impress you- even the Azgeda warriors. You inspire them, Octavia, like Bellamy did with the hundred but you can find a better way. You can lead them to a better future.'

'Bellamy thought he was doing that too.' Octavia pointed out.

'Bellamy wanted a war so he found one. We are already in one.' Clarke argued. 'It's Lexa. She's not going to kill people unless she has no choice. This isn't about winning back power, this is about securing our futures, not just Skaikru's but Trikru's and Azgeda's. We can't keep going on like this and you know it. You're the warrior we need, Octavia.'

Clarke knew that Octavia would have followed them anyway but now she saw the agreement in her eyes, mixed with the determination and raw hunger that was so recognisable. It was almost like seeing Octavia again before Lincoln's death. Octavia may not be the best person to lead them politically but she inspired and united the people of the ground in a much different way; by fighting for peace. Clarke had been foolish to make her a chancellor but this was what Octavia was truly born for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. Thanks for reading, comments and kudos. Hope you're all having a good weekend! Tomorrow's chapter(s) will probably be up a little later than usual. I love writing O and Clarke scenes (obviously not as much as Clexa). There's just so much tension there that even the nicest interaction can be laced with so much regret, hurt and anger a lot of the time. It's quite fun to work with.


	80. Green Eyed Lexa

Lexa watched Clarke sleeping peacefully in her arms. Light began to creep through their quarters in Arkadia. It was not quite a place Lexa could call home but it was comfortable enough. She knew too that as much as Clarke wanted to get back to Polis, she also enjoyed being in close proximity to her friends again.

Lexa marveled at how Clarke looked so peaceful and content. It was not so long ago when Clarke would wake with a start every couple of hours, and that was on a good night but at this thought, ironically, Clarke began to stir and she slowly opened her eyes.

'Morning.' Clarke said sleepily.

'Morning.' Lexa muttered, smiling.

'How long have you been awake?'

'Not that long.' Lexa replied.

Clarke hummed and pulled herself closer into Lexa, closing her eyes once more.

'When are we leaving?' Clarke said, her voice slightly muffled against Lexa's shoulder.

'We still have a couple of hours.'

Lexa heard Clarke chuckle lightly.

'I wonder what we could do in that time...' Clarke said playfully.

Lexa's gentle fingers brushed Clarke's hair behind her ear and she rolled Clarke over and kissed her lightly.

'There may be something...' She replied.

* * *

 

Octavia stabbed at her plate angrily as Echo came to sit beside her on the grounds of Arkadia.

'I would save that energy for when we train.' Echo commented silkily and Octavia ignored her. 'Annoyed you're being left behind?'

Octavia snorted.

'Clarke does what Clarke wants.'

She couldn't help but feel slightly foolish that she had expected to attend the meeting. Even Raven wasn't going but still, it had stung.

'Clarke stays by Lexa's side.' Echo commented, smirking.

Octavia smiled bitterly; that had always been true.

'But you are being a fool.' Echo commented.

'You don't know anything about it.' Octavia retorted hotly.

'I know that Clarke and Lexa are going to be safe in the lands of Trikru as they will be further away from the Azgeda border. I've seen Clarke check in on the prisoners half a dozen times within a few hours. She doesn't trust a lot of us and she definitely doesn't trust Rosar. She needs the people she can trust here.'

Octavia's eyes narrowed. Echo did have a point. Clarke had always been suspicious of allowing the prisoners in and after what had happened to Jasper and the clinic, Octavia could hardly blame her. Some of the ones they had caught had actually been those who had stopped Raven and Clarke on a supply run before. Clarke also would not have forgotten the chaos Arkadia had been in internally under Pike; the last thing they needed again was a civil war risking breaking out.

* * *

 

Clarke carried the supplies to the rover and packed the boot. Indra, herself and Lexa would be on the horses as well as some guards with Monty and Harper in the rover. All other personnel would have to stay at Arkadia. Clarke didn't want to leave them vulnerable when so many of Azgeda remained in their walls.

'Thanks for the supplies.' Clarke told Niylah as they finished packing up.

'I'm glad I could help.' Niylah replied sincerely.

'How's your arm?' Clarke asked her.

'Hurts less.' Niylah answered.

'You still need help with managing the pain though?' Clarke asked; she had not seen Niylah at medical as often lately but she had still chosen to remain at Arkadia.

'I have not left Arkadia because my people will not want me back, Clarke.' Niylah replied, and Clarke was surprised to hear the acceptance that accompanied the sadness.

'It's not right.' Clarke hissed. 'Trikru is your home.'

'Arkadia has given me a new home.' Niylah smiled.

'Clarke,' Lexa called sharply as she approached and Clarke fought hard not to roll her eyes, 'we're leaving now.'

'Thanks again.' Clarke smiled apologetically at Niylah.

Monty and Harper hurried behind an annoyed looking Indra. Clarke had known that Indra wasn't particularly keen to get this task underway so she largely ignored her. She did not want to have to deal with Indra's scathing remarks throughout the journey.

'Here's a radio for you.' Monty said, handing it to Clarke. 'Made by Zoran.'

Clarke smiled at it; Raven was really teaching him well.

'Just in case.' Harper added.

'We'll be moving away from Azgeda territory so we should be fine.' Clarke smiled.

'No!' Monty said quickly. 'Do not jinx it!'

'Fine,' Clarke sighed, slightly alarmed at his warning.

'Get in the rover, Monty.' Harper said, sighing but Monty threw Clarke a warning look first.

Clarke turned and climbed up on her horse. Lexa and Indra were already waiting on theirs and they set off at a slow pace.

'We were just talking.' Clarke muttered, looking across to Lexa.

'I noticed.'

Clarke clicked her tongue impatiently.

'This is going to be a very long trip.'

* * *

 

Raven played with the shock stick at her work bench while Wick watched her curiously. Zoran had gone for his lunch but only at the insistence of Raven. She thought he would pitch up a bed in engineering if he could. Part of it was because he still feared the other Skaikru children, although they had left him alone recently, but he also adored this place. It was probably the first time in his life he was ever allowed to believe he could achieve something.

'What are you doing?' Wick asked seriously when Raven continued to stare at the stick.

'Do you think there would be a way to connect multiple of them? Kind of create a shock field of maybe half a metre and stun anything in its field?' Raven mused.

'No.' Wick deadpanned. 'It would take too long to develop their power sufficiently and too much energy.'

'Fine,' Raven sighed impatiently and finally putting the shock stick down. 'We need to come up with something though.'

'Lexa vetoed your bomb idea?' Wick asked knowingly.

'Lexa vetoed the bomb idea.' Raven sighed.

'You can't really blame her.' Wick replied. 'She does actually want a city to go back to.'

'Which is a nice sentiment but Ice Nation are ruthless. They didn't get that name just because of where they live. That bitch Rosar told me they'd make huge catapults and launch balls of ice down the mountains that crushed their opponents. Those that survived the impact were buried alive. '

'They can't do that in Polis.'

'They could use other things - fire, or stones. I know Lexa doesn't want to get civilians killed but -'

'The population of Polis is huge. Besides, who is going to want a commander who has just slaughtered her own people?' Wick asked.

'Fine,' Raven said angrily again, 'but we need to come up with something.'

'So we will.' Wick said happily. 'Not like anyone could outsmart us.'

Raven muttered indistinguishably.

'Sure you're not hiding out?' Wick asked.

'No.' Raven deflected.

'Raven...'

'I slept with Murphy.' Raven muttered.

'That I was not expecting.' Wick admitted. 'He shot you...'

'It's not like I forgot, Wick.' Raven retorted.

'Okay. I just want you to be okay.' Wick said sincerely.

'I don't know what to do.' Raven confessed quietly. 'I mean, it's Murphy...'

'Well...' Wick said slowly, coming to sit next to her, 'what do you want to do?'

'I don't know.' Raven said quietly.

'Then I can't help you.' Wick said. 'But when you figure out whatever is going on in your head, don't let anything get in the way. You can be happy, Raven. You should be happy.'

 'We've got a lot in common...'

'Yeah?' Wick prompted.

'I don't know. I don't want something that's just about getting through the day.' Raven admitted. 'I've figured out for the first time how to be on my own and I'm really good. My pain still sucks but I'm managing it. I've let go of Finn... '

'I've never known you to be stronger.' Wick agreed.

'I don't need anyone any more.' Raven concluded.

'You don't. But that doesn't mean you should shut everyone out by default.' Wick suggested tenderly.

* * *

 

Clarke glanced at Lexa who was wearing impassive expression and her gaze was firmly fixed ahead. Clarke stifled an annoyed sigh and looked behind at Indra but she flinched when she saw Indra's fierce gaze and turned back in her saddle to look ahead.

The rover was following quietly behind the guards, who had carried the tents, as they set a slow pace.

She glanced at Lexa again but received no green eyes in return. Clarke hated this. Lexa never ignored her.

'I never said anything about Costia in the City of Light...' Clarke mumbled defensively.

'Costia's dead.' Lexa pointed out indignantly.

'But she was there, that great love and I accepted it.'

'Really?'

Well, not exactly, Clarke had to admit. She'd been terrified when she had seen Costia which had been ridiculous considering the world was about to end but she didn't make things as uncomfortable as Lexa was. Plus, Lexa's relationship with Costia had been far more significant.

'Niylah helped us when we needed her.' Clarke reminded her.

'Bellamy put a gun to her head.' Lexa countered.

'She would have helped anyway.' Clarke sighed.

'She would have helped you.' Lexa emphasised the last word.

Clarke could understand some of Lexa's confusion. She'd had her own doubts about Rosar so she could only imagine what Lexa had thought when Clarke was running between Arkadia and the clinic. She did feel slightly indignant however, their connection had remained so it was not as though Clarke had left Lexa completely in the dark and they had still seen each other. 

'I'm sorry I left. Both times.' Clarke added, even though she knew Lexa would never have said anything. 'I married you, I always wanted you.'

'It just hurts to remember a time when I pushed you to the point where you wished to erase me from your life.' Lexa admitted.

'We both know I never truly wanted that.' Clarke replied. 'I'm with you. I've always been with you. Have you forgotten my vows already?'

Clarke saw a trace of an affectionate smile and as much as she wanted to be annoyed with Lexa for being so dramatic in her response to one conversation with Niylah, she did look slightly adorable.

'I'm still mad at you for being ridiculous though.' Clarke said, fighting a smile. 'Plus, you've really got no right to have a go at me when Murphy told me about Rosar stripping off for you.'

Lexa actually paled and turned to Clarke with her eyes wide.

'I told her to leave.'

Clarke burst out laughing at the horror on Lexa's face.

'I know, he said he watched her storming out of your quarters and then she went into the tavern at TonDC and drank her weight in wine.' Clarke smirked.

'I think it's safe to say I chose well.' Lexa muttered.

'Don't ever forget it.' Clarke smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is being a bit ridiculous but I do love a little bit of jealous Lexa. That's the one bad thing about killing Bellamy off; I can't write little moments of her just glaring at him simply for existing. Maybe in the next fic... :P
> 
> Also, Indra is the most awkward third wheel ever... Poor Clarke. I bet even third wheeling Monty and Harper in the rover would seem slightly appealing if it meant escaping Indra's hostile glare.
> 
> I know people might want Wick to act a little hurt but he understands Raven wasn't in the best place when they had their little ...whatever it was...and a fair amount of time has passed now. Plus, at the end of the day, he is a really great friend to her.


	81. Waiting for War

Lexa groaned as she could feel that Clarke was still sitting up and clearly wide awake. They had to rise early in the morning and Clarke was likely to be hot headed enough during the meeting without being grumpy through exhaustion too.

'How are you still awake?' Lexa muttered.

'I always have energy when I'm with you.' Clarke fired back at Lexa and Lexa rolled over in their bed to face Clarke, smiling.

'I feel like your guards are all looking at me differently now.' Clarke said seriously.

'Be quieter.' Lexa suggested unhelpfully.

Clarke's eyes turned to ice.

'Since we got married.' Clarke clarified in a dangerously quiet voice.

Lexa bit back a smile.

'Oh.'

'You're louder than me anyway.' Clarke muttered under her breath and it was Lexa's turn to look offended. 'How are you going to introduce me tomorrow?'

'You already know her.' Lexa responded, perplexed.

'Never mind.' Clarke sighed.

'I will tell her we are married.' Lexa replied and her heart soared when Clarke looked so delighted at this.

'Good.' Clarke replied simply but then her tone turned serious. 'How badly do you think it's going to go?'

'There is much to be gained on both sides if we cooperate.' Lexa replied.

'It must be serious if you didn't bring Murphy in case he annoyed her.' Clarke joked.

'You know that is not why he remained at Arkadia.'

'I know, we need people we can trust there.' Clarke agreed.

'I think he wished to stay regardless.' Lexa said, tracing her fingers along Clarke's forearm that was poking out from the blankets.

'Why?' Clarke asked curiously.

Lexa hesitated for a moment. She'd had little involvement with Clarke's friends beyond her duties as Heda and even they were limited as Kane was the one who oversaw their work. Yet she couldn't deny the bond that she shared with Murphy now and she knew how important Raven was to Clarke. She had dearly wished that when she had emerged from their tent to get Clarke some water, it had not been to almost literally bump into Raven who was sneaking out of Murphy's tent. Although, judging by Raven's expression of pure horror she would have rather the ground swallowed her alive than have Lexa see her in that moment.

'Raven.' Lexa answered, almost against her will.

Clarke's head rose slightly as she looked at Lexa. She stared at Lexa for a full minute before she seemed able to think of anything to say.

'How did that happen?' Clarke demanded.

'Wine, was Murphy's response.'

'She never said anything.' Clarke replied, in hushed tone as though anyone on the ground could hear them. 'At all.'

'How long did you take to confirm to your friends that there was anything at all between us?' Lexa asked and Clarke gave a tight smile, conceding the point.

'How is he?' Clarke asked seriously.

'He keeps a lot to himself but I think he cares for her.' Lexa responded.

'He really loved Emori.' Clarke said sadly.

'That he did.' Lexa agreed. 'I'm not sure of his feelings towards Raven but it is entirely possible that as much as he loved Emori and struggled with her death he has found some new hope and perhaps a greater love.'

Lexa watched Clarke closely as she said these words and Clarke gave a tiny and shy smile. It was strange how Clarke could be so strong and yet often ran from love. Lexa knew that Clarke would always find it far easier to put her own life on the line than her feelings.

'Raven always thought her story was just about Finn. That he was the only person she had. Whatever it is, she's really started to be happy with herself these last few months. I'm glad at that, at least.' Clarke sighed, finally resting her head on the pillow.

* * *

 

Murphy watched as Echo and Octavia continued to train. They had gathered quite the audience. Octavia had taken a hell of a beating; Echo was stronger but Octavia would not give in and slowly Echo's energy was beginning to wane but the Ice Nation warrior had not spotted that trap.

'Let us march on Polis and be done with these silly games.' Rosar drawled.

'Getting bored already?' Murphy asked. 'In a hurry to die?'

'We will not fail under Heda.'

'No,' Murphy agreed, 'because she's not stupid enough to send an unprepared army to war.'

Echo moved forwards to send a crushing blow at Octavia but she dodged it and kicked under Echo's legs. Echo was strong enough however, not to fall and went to grab Octavia by the neck but Octavia ducked her head and bit Echo's hand and she spat out blood as Echo shrieked in anger.

'A true army would overcome any odds.'

'You can't be that naive.' Murphy challenged. 'Or is there another reason you wish to get to Polis?'

'It's about time Heda retook command and the King was dead.' Rosar shrugged.

Echo was slowing considerably in her movements and her right hand was bloody and lacked its force when she swung at Octavia. Octavia took the chance to rain down blows on Echo before Echo finally fell and admitted defeat. There was a loud cheer that rang through the grounds for Octavia who turned and marched to medical.

* * *

 

Nyko finished bandaging Octavia's arm.

'All done, Octavia.' Nyko said.

'Thanks.' She said, jumping up from the bed in medical.

'Lincoln would not want you to torture yourself.' Nyko said gently.

'Don't say his name!' Octavia hissed. 'Not here. Not within these walls. Arkadia never deserved him.'

'Octavia-'

'I'm not torturing myself. You know we need to be prepared. You're a healer, I'm warrior. We all have our duties.' Octavia said but her voice softened slightly. 'Thank you again, Nyko. You're a good friend.'

'I miss him too.' Nyko offered sadly.

* * *

 

Miller, Bryan, Kane, Raven, Wick, Zoran and Kane all gathered around the workshop at engineering.

'Lexa's never going to go for this.' Miller dismissed.

'She said we couldn't bomb Polis.' Raven said. 'She didn't say anything about mining the woods at the border of Azgeda.'

'Miller's right; Lexa won't support this and she can't.' Kane said firmly. 'Those mines could end up there for decades. Anybody who crosses them could risk being blown up, long after peace has been secured. It'll be a cause of greater friction between Trikru and Azgeda.'

'We need something though.' Wick interjected; backing Raven up. 'It's not just Polis. As soon as Lexa attacks, the King will order any remaining Azgeda warriors into Trikru.'

'Then create bombs or grenades.' Kane said. 'Anything that can be detonated there and then and won't create a political crisis in the long run.'

'There's still some supplies at the other fallen stations and debris fields. As well, as the supplies from the Trikru villages. We can scavange around for you guys.' Bryan offered.

'We've also designed catapult systems.' Raven said.

'She stole that idea from Azgeda.' Zoran piped up.

'I made it better.' Raven corrected. 'We can essentially load them with anything - stones that scatter, bombs even- and then fire them. This will help disperse any attacking armies in the woods while Lexa and Clarke lead the assault on Polis.'

'When Indra returns I'll get her to coordinate the construction across Trikru. We need to make sure that their lands are safe from home and it's Azgeda territory that is hit.' Kane said.

'Agreed.' Wick said quickly. 'Trikru have got enough displaced people as it is without anyone else losing their homes.'

'Or worse.' Raven muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. So my hay fever is annoying the life out of me, I'm going through job applications and academic applicants and I have some fairly heavy chapters to write. Cheer me up - tell me your favourite 100 or fic moments. Praise Indra's armour, sing glory about Kane's beard of smarts...distract me with literally anything :P


	82. Black Blood and Damaged Souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I live for your kudos and comments so thanks so much to you all :) 
> 
> I thought it would be good to bring Luna back. Lexa will want any allies she can take and she's the only one with a wise enough head to be able to make people meet in the middle. Despite how much of a brilliant warrior she is, I actually think she does the peace stuff better than anyone. Luna is a fun character too. I always completely disagree with her but I like that she does present a different side of the story and challenges what it means to survive. It's quite an interesting dynamic in that scene too as Luna has little idea about Clarke now having black blood or the secondary Flame so Luna really only sees Lexa as her equal in terms of the Nightblood and clearly, she still fears the whole concept of 'Wanheda'. Clarke doesn't really care though. She'd happily kick Luna's arse if Lexa let her. She'd totally fail though because Luna is a pretty tough warrior but she'd still try...it is Clarke at the end of the day :P

Lexa sat waiting by the fire as Clarke paced impatiently. Indra, Monty, Harper and the guards were all on watch. The green flames had summoned some of Luna's people but Lexa demanded an audience as the rightful Heda and they did not have time for a trip out to sea. Lexa would give Luna no ground in their games.

'How do you know she will even come?' Clarke asked but Lexa inclined her head towards the sea and Clarke spun around.

There was a small boat in the distance making its way and even from her position Lexa could make out the long brown locks of Luna.

Clarke's body instantly tensed but Lexa did not make to move from her seat. She sat as if still in her throne room and Luna was another visiting subject. It took several moments for them to clamber out of the boat.

'Heda,' Luna acknowledged when she made her way to Lexa.

'Luna,' Lexa replied and Luna sat down on the log opposite her while Clarke stood a little to the side of Lexa, 'leave us.'

Lexa shot a commanding look to the guards and they immediately retreated to where the boat rocked against the shallow waves. They didn't even spare Luna a glance to signal that she agreed. Lexa's power now that she had the Flame was not to be questioned.

Luna looked between Clarke and Lexa and she glanced at the rings on their hands. Luna gave a slight smile for the briefest of seconds.

'What do you need of me now, Lexa?' Luna asked.

'For you to honour your people.' Lexa replied.

'I honour them by providing them safety.' Luna stated easily.

'You disgraced them when you left them to die to ALIE.' Clarke interjected.

Luna's eyes burned hot with righteous anger.

'I see you have still not learnt that there is more to life than simply doing what it takes to see the sun rise each morning.' Luna retorted.

'Enough.' Lexa commanded. 'What's done is done. The situation has since progressed but your initial decision cannot be immediately forgotten. Without unity, Floukru was left alone and unaware of the threat of the black rain. I know you will have suffered.'

Luna's eyes shone with hurt.

'The people on the boats were lost. Many on the deck that were caught in the storm died or were brought in and died in agony later. We lost almost half of our population.' Luna responded.

'Half?' Clarke repeated, shocked and Luna nodded.

'Many of the clans have suffered but by cooperation we have been able to rebuild,' Lexa told Luna, 'but Azgeda has taken advantage of the most vulnerable. When people were dying, Soal swept into Polis and took it under his command and yet he issues no orders except that Azgeda must continue to grow strong. He makes no effort to unite the clans, he has no interest in stopping the bloodshed. Trikru has suffered the brunt of that but with Polis under his control it and with his desire for Azgeda strength it will not be long until he seeks greater glory for his Ice Nation.'

'I will not help you go to war.' Luna said determinedly.

'We are trying to bring peace!' Clarke shouted.

'I thought love would help you, Lexa.' Luna fired at her, 'but I warned you before that Wanheda is poison.'

'No one is innocent.' Clarke spat. 'If it wasn't for you so many wouldn't have died because of ALIE!'

'Luna,' Lexa started, calmly, 'I am not asking for your people to fight. Many of whom are too young and ultimately, it should be their decision after all they have been put through. It is their choice alone to do what is right. What I am asking is that you allow them that choice, and that you will support us by aid and allow a greater acceptance of refugees.'

'No.' Luna retorted. 'I cannot.'

For all that Luna wanted to help those in need, she also desired complete isolation. It meant that some did receieve help they so desperately needed, but many were left to die alone and unsure of where they could turn for help.

'Luna, you did not want to lead your people to pain and death but tell me, if you do not allow them a choice in their own fate then does that not make you a dictator? Have you truly given up your ambitions as Heda?'

'I have no intention of sitting in that tower!'

'Your oil rig certainly provides the comfort that you require and an autonomy that all other clan leaders have forfeited in the name of their people.' Lexa countered. 'Many of those you have taken in are Trikru, who have watched their homes burn and who want to stop such injustice from being done to anyone else. There are also those of Azgeda within your walls, who are distraught at what the King has made of their once great clan. If you wish to provide them freedom of their future then allow them to make the choice to decide what is right.'

Luna stood up and turned her back on Lexa, clearly thinking hard. Lexa knew the dangers of asking Luna to come back into the world of the clans; for one thing she was a Nightblood and of Lexa's own generation which meant that if she chose, she could claim to have a right to being Heda. That was a fact that Lexa had little choice but to bear. They needed to work together. Azgeda had a sizable army and the defences of Polis would be great. Being able to receive more aid would help them enormously but also knowing there would be some place to shelter the most vulnerable would be crucial. It would be unconscionable to engage in war and put so many civilians at risk.

'You would put everything Floukru has worked towards in danger.' Luna said eventually, turning back to her.

Even if Luna was not so set on peace this would be a hard choice to make. Azgeda had a much greater army, their territories now also block the path to the other clans so establishing any other kind of alliance would be almost impossible. Aligning oneself with Skaikru and Trikru was asking for death if they failed, and the chances of success were slim at best.

'It's already at threat.' Lexa replied. 'As a Nightblood you know the responsibility we have towards our people. They are all in danger, including Floukru. The choice for you is simply whether to fight the oppression of your people by Azgeda or whether to remain complicit in the slaughter and bloodshed by doing nothing.'

'I am working towards a peaceful future!' Luna argued.

'Which can only be achieved if all parties have some desire for peace, otherwise no words can improve the situation.' Lexa said.

As much as Luna believed in a life of peace, Lexa had seen the horror on Luna's face when blood had been spilled at Floukru. In the name of peace, Luna would be compelled to at least help te refugees.

'Once this is over the original conditions around Floukru's existence remains in place.' Luna stated.

'You're going to help?' Clarke questioned.

'I won't go to war and nor will I allow my home to become a battle ground, but it is up to my people to choose their fate and I will help any from the clans who need aid.' Luna replied.

Clarke looked uncertainly at Luna. She had never understood Luna's refusal to help them against ALIE. It was simply not in Clarke's nature to choose to walk away from the fight. Lexa had known however that Luna would concede. Expecting her to march to war would be folly but Luna had lost her love, she had seen murder in her home and she had witnessed the catastrophic effects of black rain which had hit Floukru hardest because they were isolated. Luna had experienced her own kind of revelation of what it meant to live on the ground. She could no longer afford to run away from who she was or the responsibilities she held to her people. They must all face the realities that a life of peace may not entirely be possible.


	83. Love Lost

'How long do I have to stay like this?' Murphy sighed, exasperated and Clarke smirked.

They were in hers and Lexa's chamber and she'd been sketching Murphy for the last half hour as he was waiting for a meeting with Lexa but she had been held up discussing plans to protect Trikru with Kane. Raven had still not given up on the bomb idea. Unfortunately for Murphy, that meant he was being told off every time he moved an inch on the sofa where he sat.

'It takes as long as it takes.' Clarke teased and Murphy scoffed. 'You could talk if it'll help pass the time...'

'You've already moaned about Luna for thirty minutes.' Murphy pointed out.

'So you talk.' Clarke replied easily.

'What about?'

'Raven?' Clarke suggested lightly but Murphy pulled a face of disgust at even contemplating having to discuss this with Clarke.

'There's nothing to talk about.' Murphy dismissed.

Clarke stopped sketching and watched Murphy for a few seconds. His face was impassive but his furrowed brow and bright eyes gave him away; he seemed in turmoil and Clarke thought she understood.

'I was never in love with Finn.'

Clarke felt she had to confess that so that Murphy knew she wasn't comparing their loss but that she had some inkling as to what he felt.

'But I cared for him. Everything that happened, he did it for me and you were right about that.'

'Finn made his own choices-'

'He did it because he loved me.' Clarke said, blinking back tears. 'And I had to kill him. I felt like I failed him, that I couldn't protect him and Lexa was ...well, just Lexa. I fell so in love with her so quickly. She kissed me before the battle at Mount Weather and just for a second, I forgot everything else. I hadn't felt so right since before Finn died...Finn...and that was when everything burned back in my mind. It felt like I was betraying him. How could I care for someone else so soon? How could I after I failed to protect him?'

Murphy gave a sad, knowing smile.

'Yeah...' He hummed.

'But I don't think there's ever anything wrong with wanting someone or even loving someone.' Clarke offered. 'It doesn't mean the people that came before meant less to us.'

There was a loud creak and both of them jumped in their seats when Lexa entered the room.

'Clarke has actually made you look acceptable.' Lexa commented wryly, looking over Clarke's shoulder at her sketch.

'You could always stick it to your forehead.' Clarke suggested, standing to kiss Lexa and Murphy laughed sarcastically. 'I'll leave you both to it. I want to check in with the prisoners, anyway.'

* * *

Indra went to sit with Octavia in the grounds of Arkadia. The rover pulled out of the gates and Indra watched as the supplies with weapons, bombs and grenades was sent to the outskirts of the Trikru lands. There was already the construction of a ditch under way. They would not be able to spare the resources for a wall and so Lexa had simply ordered them to dig. It was slow work but it would be a simple defence that Azgeda would struggle to cross once finished. They would be filtered through planks acting as bridges but that would funnel them and make easy targets of them.

Luna had also sent aid back with them, including armour that refugees had arrived at her clan with and some of which were Azgeda's own. They were to be sent to the TonDC blacksmiths to test for weaknesses but it could also help disguise some potential for spies.

'The warriors here are getting stronger.' Indra commented.

'It's taking long enough.'

'I thought you did not wish to rush to war.'

'I don't.' Octavia commented. 'We just had another three Trikru people come into Arkadia today that Nyko and Jackson had to treat. Two of them were kids.'

'Azgeda will pay for their crimes. Lexa will see to it.'

'With jus no drein jus daun?' Octavia asked skeptically.

'Careful, Octavia. Your thrist for vengeance has led you to into dangerous grounds before.'

'Since when did you agree with getting rid of jus drein jus daun?'

'I do not but I was wrong about Heda. I serve her and it is her will and we must follow it.'

* * *

 

'Rosar seems keen for the war to start.' Murphy said.

'Blood lust?' Lexa questioned.

'Maybe, or maybe something else.'

Lexa nodded.

'Rosar is limited. She has no influence and cannot fast track this war. Octavia will continue to monitor the prisoners.' Lexa said.

'You really trust Octavia after everything?'

'Of course not.' Lexa replied. 'She sent Clarke into a match to the death against her own brother. I have not forgotten.'

'Maybe she's over it.' Murphy shrugged.

'That is irrelavent. How long until she finds something else to blame Clarke for?' Lexa questioned. 'She is serving her purpose here and Indra's influence holds strong still but she will not again be put in a position to harm Clarke.'

Murphy shuffled uncomfortably.

'Maybe she already has a reason.' Murphy suggested quietly.

Lexa gave him a questioning stare.

'Things were chaos...' Murphy said, and Lexa could read that Murphy was attempting to justify withholding whatever knowledge he held until now, '...Kane was hunting Clarke, Abby was just dead, you were tortured and the raider situation was far worse than it is now. It felt like we had much bigger problems.'

'What is it?' Lexa demanded quietly.

Murphy groaned.

'Hell...Jake Griffin- Clarke's father- was also Octavia's father.' Murphy said. 'I figured it out. She confirmed it.'

 If Murphy had not been so visibly nervous and unsure of what to say, Lexa may well have been inclined to think that it was one of his jokes.

Lexa reeled. Octavia had set her brother and her sister against each other. Clarke had loved her father dearly. It had destroyed her to kill even his memory in the City of Light. Clarke's depression had returned full force one they had awoken from the city. Clarke had fled to the clinic out of self loathing and a misplaced idea that she would be protecting Lexa.

'Are you going to tell her?' Murphy asked quietly, after several silent long moments passed.

'Yes.' Lexa replied automatically. 'Can you find her?'

Murphy nodded.

'I shouldn't have told Octavia I would stay quiet.' Murphy said apologetically. 'I didn't think she'd be back here and with Clarke so much. She stayed with you and Indra.'

'You told me when I needed to know.' Lexa responded. 'You were fulfilling your duties, Flame Keeper.'

* * *

 

It was only several moments before Clarke was entering their quarters again.

'Even as a prisoner Rosar is obnoxious as-what's wrong?' Clarke said suddenly at Lexa's sad expression.

Lexa hesitated. She knew well that whenever she had to deliver uncomfortable truths it was best to tackle the situation straight away but this was Clarke and Lexa wished with every fibre of her being that what must be said simply was not true.

'I spoke with Murphy.' Lexa started.

Clarke searched her expression, worry written all over her features.

 'Octavia confided in him that your father was-'

'Hers?' Clarke interjected quickly.

Lexa nodded. 'Yes.'

A flurry of emotions flickered across Clarke's face but one that was remarkably absent was surprise.

'So I guess that's the mystery solved of why she hates me.' Clarke said bitterly.

'Clarke-'

'I want to talk to her about it. Just once then I'm done.' Clarke retorted.

'Clarke-'

'Screw her and fuck him.' Clarke spat.

Lexa moved forwards as angry tears fell from Clarke's eyes and she wrapped Clarke in a tight embrace that Clarke immediately sank into. Clarke began to sob on Lexa's shoulder and Lexa felt Clarke's weight give out and she gently grabbed Clarke and pulled her closer as they sank gently to the floor.

Clarke's body shook violently as she cried but she clung onto Lexa. Lexa held Clarke silently, waiting for the sobs to subside. Clarke did not need worthless whispers of reassurance. Clarke would learn to live with this betrayal as she had the others. This would not be something that would break her spirit but Lexa ached that she was once more in pain but she knew that by being here with Clarke, once again being the one to hold her throughout the pain, Clarke knew who her true family was.


	84. Bound by Blood

Octavia was sat in engineering with Monty, Wick and Raven. Raven was still unsure of Octavia and Octavia knew that a lot of damage had been done which had not yet fully healed. The City of Light had caused as much hurt as it had helped bridge some of the rifts. They've been forced to face horrific memories and they'd all come out of it a little lost inside themselves which had meant that the certain edge of resentment had been lost towards each other, but it was not yet forgotten. Octavia's contact with Raven had also been minimal. When she visited the clinic it was to receive medical attention and since coming back to Arkadia, Raven had largely stayed out of her presence and Octavia had respected her wishes which had been easy to do given how focused she had been on preparing the warriors and fulfilling her duties to Indra.

'You don't mind going?' Monty asked.

Monty was one of the few who still made an effort with Octavia. He recognised the bond and clung onto it. He always had but that had only grown stronger since his mother's death, and since Jasper's. Monty thought they were all each other had.

'Are you kidding?' Octavia asked. 'I can't wait to get out of these walls.'

'So do you -hey, Clarke.' Monty said as Clarke stormed through the open door and gave Octavia a cold stare.

Octavia shot her a quizzical look but Clarke ignored it.

'What are you doing?' Clarke asked, looking between them.

'We need some batteries and wiring pulling out from the drop ship.' Raven explained. 'Wick, Monty, Zoran and I are back out to TonDC to watch the progress of the weapons and help guide it so we need to pack up. Octavia is going to collect what we need from the drop ship while we stay here.'

'I'll go too.' Clarke said.

'You sure?' Raven asked, brow furrowed.

Octavia could hardly blame Raven's surprise. Octavia could count on one hand the number of times she and Clarke had been alone together since what had happened with Bellamy but Clarke nodded.

'Okay, then take a walkie. If you get stuck on anything you can call in.' Raven said, handing a radio to Clarke and Clarke rolled her eyes.

'Thanks. I'll figure it out.' Clarke said, with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. 'Let's get going.'

Raven shot Octavia a glare but she shrugged. She had no way of knowing what was going on with Clarke.

Octavia followed behind Clarke, whose footfalls were heavy against the metal floor and echoed out as a warning, but Octavia had no idea as to what for. Clarke led them out of the nearest exit.

'Not taking the horses or the rover?' Octavia asked as they passed by the horses.

'We don't need them.'

Octavia rolled her eyes at Clarke's clipped response and followed her out of the gates. Clarke positively stormed through the woods. She hit branches out of her way and twigs kept snapping loudly under her feet. If Octavia hadn't have known better she'd have assumed the forest had somehow personally offended her. Octavia glanced behind her almost wistfully at Arkadia. She never thought she would regret leaving behind those gates.

'You've started to wear your braids again.' Clarke commented.

'Yeah. It's better to have my hair out of my face when I'm training.' Octavia replied, not knowing why this was important but Clarke made no comment and they carried on throughout the woods.

Octavia subconsciously ran a hand through her hair. She hadn't even remembered starting to braid her hair again. She had kept it loose since Lincoln's death. Octavia felt a pang of guilt at the thought of Lincoln. She wondered what he would have made of everything now.

 They kept going in silence and it was only as they drew within range of the drop ship that either made any attempt to talk.

'You know,' Clarke said finally, and not looking behind at Octavia, 'my mother brought me into the woods to kill me.'

Octavia paused mid step for a slight second and almost lost her balance and she quickly had to grab hold of a tree trunk to stop herself falling.

Octavia had no idea how to respond to that but Clarke didn't seem to be looking for an answer and she hadn't even looked back when Octavia had stumbled.

She hadn't known much of the details surrounding what had happened. Clarke had let them know the basic story back when they were last at the drop ship after rescuing Lexa but there was something quite disturbing about thinking Abby had led her daughter into the woods under the ploy of spending time together only to pull out a gun.

'But then,' Clarke went on after several minutes, 'you did put your brother into a duel for the death so I guess you probably think she did the right thing.'

Octavia knew she should have expected that. Her mouth had the sour taste of acid just at the memory of what had happened. She had been so angry after Lincoln's death and she didn't know how to stop Bellamy. She couldn't do it herself. She could never kill Bellamy directly and so she had risked Clarke's life.

Clarke stormed ahead and Octavia could make out the wall. The bodies had been removed and she knew that had been down to Kane and the guard. Clarke did not pause and Octavia wondered if she spared the dead any thought at all. She couldn't blame her if she didn't; not after what they had done to Lexa. Octavia had seen Lexa that weak only after she had been shot and she recalled Clarke's terror then.

They stepped through into the isolated grounds of the drop ship. It looked like an ancient monument. It was hard to believe there had ever been life here.

'Who did you want to win?' Clarke asked, turning suddenly.

Octavia had never seen Clarke look so angry before. She knew. Clarke had to know. She cursed herself for ever trusting Murphy to keep his mouth shut. Murphy had no loyalty. He had proven that time and again.

Octavia opened her mouth but no words came out.

'Was it brother?' Clarke hissed. 'Or sister?'

Octavia flinched at the words.

'I didn't want you to die, Clarke.' Octavia said flatly.

She watched Clarke warily but Clarke laughed hysterically.

The sound of her laugh ripped through Octavia's skin and she recoiled at the sound.

'Just like I didn't want you to die with the missile but you still hated me for that.' Clarke said, a smile played at her face but her eyes raged with anguish. 'Guess we know why you reacted so badly.'

Octavia had only known Clarke to lose control like this once before; after she had killed Bellamy. Clarke had been lifeless then, all hope had been drained from her and Clarke had been left the shell of Wanheda. In truth, Octavia would rather face this version of Clarke every single time because at least Clarke was still fighting for love and for life but it wasn't something she had wanted to deal with, at least not yet.

'You must have really hated me.' Clarke seethed. 'I had everything on the Ark. The princess, right? Then leader here? No wonder you wanted me dead. Hell, you weren't the only family member to try and kill me.'

'Clarke-'

Clarke shoved Octavia backwards.

'What are you doing?'

'You want me dead, so come on.' Clarke raged, pushing Octavia again.

Octavia shook her head and took another step backwards.

'I'm not fighting you, Clarke.'

'Why not?' Clarke demanded hotly. 'This is what you wanted!'

'Clarke-'

Octavia never got to finish her plea for reason as her jaw was met with a ferocious punch from Clarke. Octavia stumbled backwards and her stomach was hit with an almighty thud as Clarke slammed her into the ground. Octavia coughed as she felt the oxygen smacked out of her lungs when she connected with the ground.

Clarke pinned Octavia down with her legs and hovered above her. Clarke's eyes flashed dangerously with a vicious anger. Octavia moved her hands to shield her face but Clarke grabbed them with one hand and roughly shoved them aside.

'Fight back.' Clarke demanded in a low voice.

'No.' Octavia said firmly but panting slightly.

Clarke released a frustrated shriek and swung her fist at Octavia face. Octavia's head bounced with a thud into the dirt and she hissed through her teeth in pain.

'Fight!' Clarke screamed and released another punch.

Clarke let go of Octavia's arms as both fists found their way to Octavia's face. Octavia was punched again and again and she struggled hopelessly to try to lift Clarke off her. Octavia desperately reached out and felt across the ground for anything she could and grabbed a small rock and swung her arm. It connected grimly with the side of Clarke's head. Clarke immediately rolled off Octavia as the force knocked her side ways and she grunted, disorientated. Clarke crawled around for a few seconds and Octavia wondered terrified whether Clarke could see at all but then Clarke collapsed and rolled onto her back, laughing quietly.

'You fought well.' Clarke said, laughing again to herself and Octavia stared at her perplexed.

Octavia pulled herself up gingerly and crawled closer to Clarke to check her head wound but Clarke immediately pulled away as Octavia stretched out a hand and she quickly gave up. If Clarke wanted to suffer then she could. Octavia spat a mouthful of blood out.

Her head was throbbing. Blood tickled her face as it ran down and she wiped it roughly with her gloved hand.

'I didn't want you dead, Clarke. I knew you'd find a way and even if I was wrong, Lexa would never let you die.' Octavia said.

All of the anger seemed to dissolve in Clarke's features. Her body even relaxed but she looked small now, as though lost. She didn't know what to do now and neither did Octavia.

Clarke slowly pulled herself up and she stood up, looking at the drop ship.

'I know I disappointed you.' Clarke said, with a bitter frown, 'but you disappointed me too and I didn't even know who you were.'

'Yes, you did.' Octavia said. 'Being sisters doesn't matter. It's shared blood and you share yours with Ontari now. Blood means nothing. We came down here together and yet you still thought my life was expendable.'

'Yeah, well, you got me right back.' Clarke replied savagely. 'I'm going to get the suff. Keep watch and then we can get the hell out of here.'

'Whatever the hell you want, Clarke.' Octavia muttered, under her breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Promise Lexa is actually in the next chapter. So is Maven for any shippers out there ;) This is one of the first times Clarke hasn't just from her feelings. She's been through too much and it's not just everything with Octavia but about everything she thought she knew. She kept getting betrayed by her family and people she is supposed to trust and this just makes her snap. She's also sick and tired of being blamed for everything which I can definitely understand.


	85. Nothing but the Truth

Raven looked up as Octavia came back into engineering and Raven's mouth hung open in shock.

'What the hell happened?' Raven asked, taking in Octavia's badly bruised face.

Octavia's lip had been burst, there was dry blood that had clearly come from her nose and both of her eyes and cheeks were covered in deep purple bruises.

'Bonding with Clarke.' Octavia replied, her mouth barely moving from what raven presumed was due to the pain.

'What the hell did you do this time?' Raven asked, in a dangerous voice.

Octavia threw the radio, wires and batteries on the bench.

'I didn't do anything.' Octavia spat and marched straight back out of engineering.

* * *

 

Clarke heaved the doors open to the art supply bunker and practically jumped down the ladder. She landed ungracefully and with a loud thud. She jumped back in surprise when she turned and saw Lexa waiting.

'Fucking hell.' Clarke breathed.

'I thought you may not wish to return to Arkadia so soon.' Lexa said and she moved quickly and examined the wound on the side of Clarke's head.

'I never wanted to return in the first place.' Clarke muttered. 'It's fine, really.'

Lexa stepped back slightly but she brushed Clarke's hair behind her ear.

'It didn't go well?' Lexa asked softly.

'I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do now.' Clarke muttered, hopelessly and going to sit on the sofa where Lexa joined her.

Lexa took Clarke's hand in hers and let Clarke sit silently. Clarke didn't have a clue what any of this was supposed to mean. Should it even matter now? Had her mother known? Her throat clenched painfully at the thought of her mother and she struggled to withhold the tears. She didn't care about crying in front of Lexa but she was worried if she started to let the pain take hold, it would never stop hurting.

'So turns out two of my closest relatives have tried to kill me. Maybe I'm not the good guy.' Clarke said, all humour lost to them both.

'You are.' Lexa said softly but there was not a trace of uncertainty.

'How can you still believe that?' Clarke asked cynically.

'Because you love more than anyone, because you saved your people and Octavia did not want you dead but she was too weak to kill Bellamy.Your mother's intentions will never be known but she was wrong about you and do not forget that Raven believed in you enough to follow you through a forest and murder her friend to ensure that you were safe.' Lexa told her, squeezing her hand. 'If you do not have faith if yourself, then keep your faith in those of us who know who you are and accept and love you for that.'

Clarke had doubted herself a thousand times by this point and yet Lexa's faith in her had never once wavered, even when Clarke had come up with the most desperate plans. Sitting here with Lexa it was hard to believe anything that had just happened. It was hard to believe in anything other than Lexa and this old bunker.

'Does this even matter?' Clarke asked, looking at Lexa.

Lexa always remained full of clarity, whether she had the Flame or not. Lexa was the one constant in this life.

'Blood may matter when it comes to the Flame but I think that may be the only time.' Lexa replied thoughtfully. 'You loved your mother and mourn her because of the years you spent with her. The bonds down here are forged during the battle to survive and in foolish moments where we can merely make each other smile in spite of the grief we carry. That is why you said that Raven was like your sister. Your pain over Octavia is because of the complex history you have shared on the ground. This new truth has changed your expectations but what matters to you most is that she is one of the hundred. Whatever value you place on shared blood, it is the time you've spent together what has led to this reaction.'

'I haven't even thought about him.' Clarke confessed. 'My dad. I'm not even surprised anymore. Everybody lies to get what they want. Everything I thought I knew about my parents was wrong. I never thought my mother could turn my father in and she did. I never thought my father could leave a girl under the floor for sixteen years but he did.'

'That was the Ark's policy-'

'But he didn't do anything to help.' Clarke said quickly, her eyes burning.

'Clarke, life on the Ark was hardly forgiving. Your father was beloved and yet he was executed for trying to save your people. I do not believe there was ever anything he could do to help Octavia.'

'But he didn't even try. Octavia told us before her father never wanted anything to do with her. He just left her and came home to us.' Clarke said, tears rolling down her face.

Clarke felt Lexa's arm come around her shoulder and she sank into Lexa's lap as Lexa's fingers ran softly through her hair.

'I'm never coming back. When we take Polis, I'm never returning to Arkadia.' Clarke said bitterly.

'You don't have to.' Lexa promised.

* * *

 

Raven stormed through the corridors of Arkadia and finally found at least one of the people she was looking for but when he saw her he turned the other way.

'Hey! Where the hell is Clarke?' Raven shouted and Murphy flinched at the noise and slowly turned around.

'A little less screaming, please.' Murphy drawled.

'Octavia has had the crap beaten out of her and Clarke is missing!'

The Azgeda raiding parties had all been captured lately and closer to the border. They hadn't been able to get this far into Tirkru or Skaikru territory since Lexa had taken charge again. If Octavia was hurt that badly and she was a warrior then Raven was terrified of what that meant for Clarke. Clarke was ruthless but that was often with the aid of a button to push or a gun to fire. Clarke should be in medical but if she wasn't then perhaps something was seriously wrong.

'She's not missing.' Murphy replied, 'In here.'

Murphy pulled Raven into the nearest available room in Arkadia. It was basically a large supply closet with shelves against each of the walls and filled with an assortment of items. Murphy shut the door and when he turned to face Raven he was met with an angry glare.

'Clarke's with Lexa.' Murphy explained.

'Fantastic.' Raven snapped. 'Where?'

'I'm not telling you.' Murphy responded with a shrug.

'Murphy, so help me God-'

'Lexa told me not to so I'm not.'

Raven snorted.

'Look, Clarke is fine. She's with Lexa. That's really all you need to know.'

'Then why the hell is Octavia's face like that?' Raven demanded; her worry peaked.

Murphy looked away, exasperated for a moment before turning back to Raven.

'Clarke and Octavia- they've got the same father.' Murphy said and Raven's eyes widened in shock. 'I told Lexa and she clearly told Clarke-'

'Wait? You knew and you never said anything!' Raven demanded angrily.

'I only found out when Clarke did her rescue Lexa mission. I told Lexa earlier.'

'Why the hell did you do that?' Raven shouted. 'Of course she would tell Clarke!'

'You don't want her to know?' Murphy asked, confused.

'Of course not. It's Clarke. Don't you think she's been through enough?' Raven asked, incredulous.

'We all have. Clarke's a grown up; she can handle it.'

'What if she can't?' Raven hissed. 'There was no reason to tell her. It's not like Octavia wants to sit by the fire with her and braid her hair!'

'Are you worried about Clarke or jealous that you'll be replaced?' Murphy asked quietly.

'Octavia tried to get Clarke killed in case you have forgotten.' Raven retorted furiously.

'Which is exactly why Clarke deserves to know everything. She needs to know what's going on and who she can trust. I didn't tell Lexa so Clarke could have some fairy story reunion with her long lost sister. I did so she knew exactly where she stood with Octavia.' Murphy responded angrily. 'Lexa and Clarke are our only hope and they're the only friends I've got. They deserve the truth.'

'I hope your moral epiphany works out just fine for you.' Raven snapped, before storming back out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as ever for kudos and comments :) Sorry the update has been a little slow but I have been utterly swamped with work today!


	86. Duty of Care

Clarke rested her head on her hand in exhaustion. She'd been going through plans with Kane for most of the day while Lexa was at the borders of Trikru to check in on how preparations were going. There was a steady stream of prisoners so now many were also being held at TonDC. They couldn't afford the Ice Nation raiders to flee and risk warning the King of their preparations, although it was clear that both sides were taking care to defend themselves. Lexa had ordered all of her people to stay within Trikru lands as several young children had recently gone missing at the borer. Tensions on both sides were running high. Soal had marked every single member of Polis with a brand, not of the Coalition's sign as that was still shattered and the other clans were refusing to negotiate with him, but with marks from their own clans to be able to identify people. Those in Polis from Trikru and even Skaikru (Clarke had heard rumours that Nigel was still in the city) had been automatically imprisoned.

Lexa's greatest concern was that Soal would strike before they were ready but Echo didn't feel that he would. There had still been few orders issued to Azgeda and the weather was beginning to cool. The season, had not been predictable on the ground and particularly since the black rain but Clarke had been down for almost a year now and she remembered well Jaha's warnings about not freezing to death. In truth, that had amounted to little but she had learnt not to expect anything on the ground. Lexa had been right; plans didn't often last long in battle but the weather situation gave them a greater sense of urgency. They could not fight through snow, and Azgeda would surely have the advantage but given the utter incompetency of Soal, if they held off then members from the other clans would die from lack of readiness for the harsh winter that could be in store.

Working with Kane had also been uncomfortable for both of them. Clarke could hardly dare look at him or else she was reminded of her mother and she was sure it was the same for him. They had avoided all mention of her, although Clarke had been fearful she would be mentioned when they discussed how best to get medical ready to cope with the realities of war. Clarke had realised in that moment what a huge loss Abby had been to Skaikru. She had only really considered what she herself had lost but not the community. Her mother had been someone who Skaikru had always looked to and respected. She'd always taken care of them, had offered them hope and now she was gone. She had attributed the creeping fear that clung to the halls as what naturally came when one was faced with a bloody battle that would leave many dead, but she was beginning to realise it was also down to the fact that Skaikru had lost one of their most trusted leaders. In that moment, Clarke had never felt more alone as part of Skaikru. She trusted Kane but he would not been marching into Polis with her and nor would Raven.  She'd have Octavia by her side but that was hardly reassuring.

She hadn't spoken to Octavia at all. When she saw her in the grounds training, Clarke ducked back inside Arkadia. She was pretty sure she heard Raven screaming at Octavia after she returned from the art supply store with Lexa. Clarke had not discussed it with anyone, including Raven. Monty had tried several times but Clarke promptly changed the conversation. She didn't know what she was supposed to say or feel now but she felt as though everybody was looking for something from her and whatever it was, she didn't want to give it. She'd taken to avoiding almost everyone and issuing orders to Skaikru via Kane.

'Zoran and Raven have been busy.' Kane noted when he logged the impressive number of radios.

'Yeah,' Clarke replied, 'it means the leader of each group can at least have a walkie. We can all keep in communication with each other fairly easily. Monty worked hard on making sure the range wouldn't be a factor either. He's put what are basically mini radio tower rods along Trikru to help boost the signal and that can be reached from Polis.'

'Good, Azgeda will be limited in their communications. Polis will have little control over what happens along the Trikru border and won't be able to respond accordingly.'

'That's what we're hoping for.' Clarke said, stifling a yawn.

'You're exhausted, Clarke.' Kane observed gently.

'I've not been sleeping that well.' Clarke said, dismissively.

Kane nodded.

'I heard about Octavia.'

'You and everyone else.' Clarke muttered but then she dared to ask him what had plagued her since she had found out about Octavia's identity. 'Did my mom know?'

Kane looked surprised at Clarke.

'No,' He said earnestly, 'and I'm glad she was at least spared finding out that.'

'Yeah...' Clarke agreed quietly.

'Clarke, your father...he was a good man.' Kane said tenderly.

'Is that why you got him arrested?' Clarke said dully; firing back at that was more out of habit than anything else as she had long since learnt what it meant to survive.

'In a way.' Kane admitted. 'He was too good for the harsh life of the Ark. He wanted to save everyone. I was friends with him and he was someone I respected and we both did what we thought was right.'

'Abandoning a girl to live under the floor is the right thing?' Clarke asked, looking up at Kane.

'Clarke, we both know that to survive we must quickly learn to accept the fact that what we consider right and wrong suddenly is not so certain as we may have once believed.'

'It wasn't to survive. This was to save his own skin.' Clarke retorted.

'If he had confessed, Octavia's existence would have been found out. If he had given away anything in his behavior then she would have been found and Octavia, her mother and Bellamy could all have faced execution. I won't pretend to know what was running through his mind but we also don't know he was the demon that Octavia's mother had implied.'

'Well, I slayed her demon for her.' Clarke said bitterly.

'You were protecting all of us, same as always.' Kane said, offering her a small smile and squeezing her hand.

'Why are you being nice to me?' Clarke asked, almost fearfully.

'Because you've always been a good kid and you still are.' Kane said, smiling. 'And because you're hers.'

* * *

 

'I can't believe all of this.' Murphy said, glancing back at the ditch that ran through the forest as they made their way back inside the Trikru woods and to the horses.

Entire villages had pitched in to build what was now a dry moat running through the forest. Prisoner numbers in total were now in the hundreds and they would be a useful bargaining chip. The work on the weapons had also come along quickly. Raven had designed huge catapults which were surprisingly simple in design and could bear great weight and so they were being constructed across the lands. Wick had also designed more direct systems, which were effectively more efficient crossbows which had been mounted on the rooftops of the tallest buildings of all of the nearest villages to the border. The only thing that was taking time was the actual bombs. Raven had made a few dozen grenades but with Bryan and Miller constantly scavenging for supplies it was still a laborious process. The markets of Trikru sent all useful components straight to Arkadia but they were rare and neither Raven nor Wick could rush the process for fear of blowing themselves up. They wouldn't even let Zoran aid them in creating the grenades or bombs.

'Your underestimations of Trikru's capabilities are flattering.' Lexa replied coolly.

Murphy smirked as he and Lexa climbed up on a horse each.

'Oh, don't worry. I still haven't forgotten how good you guys are at torturing.'

'I think Skaikru can take some pride in their methods too.' Lexa reminded him pointedly. 'So have you decided to stay?'

'Was I going somewhere?' Murphy asked in surprise.

'You're the survivor and we are preparing for war.'

'Yeah, as fun as that sounds, I'm also not a coward. I'm not going anywhere.'

'Is that why you have carried a pistol with you?' Lexa asked knowingly. 'I believe that almost all of the guns were destroyed.'

'They were.' Murphy responded. 'I took this before. It might come in useful.'

'Then stay close to Clarke when it is time and protect her.' Lexa told him, without glancing away from the path back to Arkadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Thanks as ever for kudos, comments and sticking with the story :) I wanted to finally get in a chapter with Kane and Clarke now things are slightly less raw. I've always liked the relationship between the two of them and Kane has had a lot more faith in Clarke than Abby ever did.


	87. Clan or Commander

Octavia sat with Zoran and Echo for their dinner outside in the grounds of Arkadia. The air was slightly crisp for an evening and they sat close to a fire that cackled contentedly as it burned. Raven and the others had returned from the border but Zoran had been banned from engineering and Octavia was sure it was because Raven was working on something that could blow up the entire settlement with one wrong move. However, she was not enjoying playing babysitter as Zoran had asked a thousand questions about Raven and Clarke. She didn't know what stung more; the fact Clarke's name was mentioned every other second or that he kept asking questions for which she did not know the answer.

'The kid talks too much.' Echo grumbled.

'Sorry.' Zoran mumbled, but almost inaudibly through his tunic.

'Ignore her.' Octavia said grumpily. 'People of Azgeda aren't used to having friends.'

Echo gave a light sarcastic laugh.

'I wish I was helping Raven.' Zoran muttered, in a dejected voice.

'It's good for you to see how warriors fight. You may need to yourself one day.' Echo told him.

Octavia glared at Echo.

'He's a kid.'

'So?' Echo shrugged.

Octavia's protestation was lost when Rosar sat herself on one of the logs next to them. Her glare moved from Echo to Rosar and she suddenly wished she was anywhere else. Even the Dead Zone could not be so bad in comparison. She looked around hopelessly for Lexa or Murphy who had their own special ways of making Rosar disappear but of course they were busy within Arkadia.

'Maybe we can't trust him.' Rosar said, looking at Zoran.

'Rich, coming from you.' Octavia muttered, taking a large bite out of her boar meat.

'His kind are flocking to the king.' Rosar said, eyes still not leaving Zoran.

Octavia swallowed the lump of meat and clenched her jaw.

'My kind?' Zoran asked.

'Ignore her.' Octavia spat, rising from where she sat. 'She's good for nothing. Come on, I'll show you the horses.'

Octavia practically dragged Zoran away from Rosar and didn't spare Echo a second glance.

'You didn't need to do that.' Echo said.

'Of course I did; he's one of them.' Rosar stated. 'Should I be concerned for how much time you're spending with the runt of Skaikru who clings desperately to Trikru? She's the most pathetic one of the lot.'

'You need talk when you hang onto every word the Commander says.' Echo replied, anger lightly lacing her words.

'Lexa is more powerful than all of these vermin combined.' Rosar replied eagerly; even the mention of the Commander's name was said with the utmost awe and longing.

'They are not vermin.' Echo retorted.

'Remember where your loyalties lie.' Rosar warned.

'And where do yours lie? With the Commander?'

'The Commander could be great with Azgeda. Clarke makes her weak. Lexa should have attacked already and taken the King by surprise.'

'She doesn't want her people to be slaughtered.'

'They should be glad to give their lives for her!' Rosar declared. 'Before the end Lexa will realise what it means to have Azgeda by her side and Skaikru will be forgotten.'

Echo laughed bitterly.

'You have no idea if you think that is even possible.'

'Or perhaps you just do not want it to come to pass.' Rosar taunted. 'Be careful which side you choose, Echo. Your white scars won't save you if you betray Azgeda when your clan calls upon you.'

* * *

 

Murphy grunted as he struggled into engineering where Raven looked up promptly and she shut the rocket fuel safely in the container and then ran to help Murphy as he was carrying three large metal cylinders. She helped place them in the corner, struggling slightly with each side step due to her and she almost dropped them when she put them down and Murphy stepped back, wiping the sweat off his face and panting hard.

'Where the hell?' Raven muttered.

'I'm the Flame Keeper. I made a request, the nearest blacksmith granted it. I do not want to know what these are for because if you didn't ask Lexa for them then there's an obvious reason.' Murphy said and Raven couldn't resist a smile.

She knew Murphy wouldn't wouldn't ever want to go against Lexa because he had witnessed her strength but even though he often brushed off his duties with a sarcastic remark, she also knew just how happy he was as Flame Keeper and how he held Lexa in such high regard.

'Thank you, Murphy.'

Murphy gave a soft smile in response and bowed his head, before turning to leave.

'Hey, wait.' Raven said gently and he consented to turn back to her.

Murphy looked expectantly at her but now he was in front of her it was hard to say all of the things she had wanted to for days now.

'Fuck it.' She muttered. 'Look, I'm sorry.'

At the apology Murphy's smile grew wider and Raven struggled to keep her sincerity and not just make a snappy comment.

'You were right to tell Lexa. Clarke should know everything.'

Murphy nodded his head and he was positively beaming.

'Huh?' He smirked.

'Really?' Raven asked, her voice tight. 'That's all you're going to say?'

'I'm not big on gloating.' Murphy replied.

Raven let out a loud exhale of annoyance.

'I knew I would regret apologising.' She grumbled.

'I didn't say anything!' Murphy replied, laughing.

'You are such a dick, Murphy.' Raven muttered.

'I really didn't say anything.' Murphy quipped, stepping slightly closer to her and still smiling.

Raven rolled her eyes but she stepped closer too.

'Good.' She retorted. 'I like it better when you don't talk.'

Murphy hummed gently.

'Me too.'

Murphy's hand lightly traced along Raven's cheek and she bit her bottom lip slightly as he smirked at her. Her face hovered closer to his but at the creak of the door, Raven jumped back from him and nearly fell over the large metal cylinders.

'Am I interrupting something?' Monty asked them both.

'Nope,' Murphy said, hand now scratching the back of his head, 'I have to find Lex-the Commander anyway. Keep up the good work.'

Murphy quickly shuffled out of the room and Raven rolled her eyes.

'What was that?' Monty asked, in absolute surprise.

'Jesus, Monty.' Raven muttered.

'You and Murphy?' He asked, still shocked.

'You remember that I let you and Harper fuck in peace, right?' Raven responded sourly.

* * *

 

Clarke was pouring over the maps of Polis at the desk in her quarters and she barely noticed when the door opened. She jumped slightly when she felt Lexa's fingers on her back.

'You should rest.' Lexa suggested.

'We need to know this.' Clarke insisted.

'We do.' Lexa told her lightly, and Lexa's fingers skimmed under the back of Clarke's shirt.

Clarke bit her lip and turned around with a small smile. Lexa stepped closer so that Clarke was pressed against the desk. Lexa's eyes were light with affection and playfulness.

'We really should be planning.' Clarke whispered, as Lexa's fingers traced her collarbone and breastplate.

'I think we deserve a break.' Lexa replied.

Clarke practically jumped from Lexa as the door knocked loudly and she cursed as her legs had connected with the desk.

'Never any peace in this place.' Clarke complained angrily.

Lexa looked just as annoyed.

'Enter!' Lexa demanded, not even hiding her exasperation.

Harper entered the quarters and looked apologetically at them both.

'Sorry, if I was interrupting.'

'You weren't.' Clarke assured her and Harper looked at her in disbelief.

'Anyway,' Harper said, shuffling awkwardly on her feet, 'Rosar is still keen for war but from what we heard over the comms system she's as hateful towards you, Clarke, as ever and wants the Commander to establish closer ties with Azgeda once all this is settled.'

'Is that everything?' Lexa asked.

'She was a dick to Zoran.' Harper added.

'Why?' Clarke asked.

'Radiation.' Harper answered simply.

Clarke nodded. Of course, it was that. The grounders had long hated the effects of radiation as they viewed it as weakness and a stain of bloodlines. Niylah having to hide out in Arkadia had demonstrated that much.

'Thank you, Harper.' Lexa said and Harper recognised the dismissal and left them.

'Good thing we had Echo bug her.' Clarke said. 'Although we can't guarantee Echo's loyalty. She knows we're listening after all.'

'Echo will be with Indra and Octavia come the battle. Rosar will remain with the prisoners.' Lexa said reassuringly.

'What if we've missed something?' Clarke asked, her fear growing with each passing day. 'What if this backfires and we can't win?'

'We have planned everything. We are more prepared for this than we ever will be and it is right for us to strike before the weather turns which will simply advantage Azgeda. Have faith, Clarke.'

'I have no faith.' Clarke replied.

'Yes, you do.' Lexa countered softly. 'In your people, in your friends...'

'In you.' Clarke finished.

'Remember, it is natural to worry before battle. Your fears have been given much time to grow but we are prepared. Once we march to Polis, everything will be clear.' Lexa promised.

 'Then we better make the most of our last night of peace.' Clarke smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So sorry for the late update but once again I've been a bit unwell which has made me a bit grumpy as I hate falling behind on updates, I've fallen behind on work too and I've not be able to play Pokemon Go which is obviously just a tragedy :P You'll be happy to know that war is finally coming in the fic so there will be some angst coming up and a lot of drama. Thank you so much for comments and kudos! Much love to you all! On a separate note, some of you have some truly epic usernames. I just lifted mine from a book at work which was quite dull.


	88. Heda

Lexa and Clarke stood at the end of the work bench in engineering. They had risen quickly from their beds that morning and rushed to get changed. Lexa and Clarke were both wearing their war paint, and Lexa's blood had briefly turned to ice when she saw Clarke as her mind immediately fluttered to that day when Clarke had been forced to murder Bellamy, and of the grief that had then taken hold of her love. She had forced those memories away quickly; they both needed to focus. There had not been much conversation and Lexa could sense Clarke's nerves radiating from her body. In some ways, this was back to old times for Clarke, Lexa presumed. This was a more savage and basic fight for survival than what had transpired in the City of Light. Lexa had at least managed to coax Clarke into having some breakfast; it would hardly be ideal for Clarke to faint on the battlefield.

Lexa had suggested that Clarke remain at Arkadia to lead her people but Clarke had flat out ignored her when Lexa first mentioned it and then firmly told her there was no chance in hell when Lexa repeated herself. It was Clarke's decision and Lexa would honour that and she was proud that they would fight side by side together, but she had to at least offer the route of safety to Clarke for both of their sakes.

Lexa and Clarke's most trusted people were now before them, waiting expectantly. Murphy, Raven, Zoran,  Indra, Kane, Octavia, Monty, Harper, Miller (and Miller senior), Bryan and Wick were waiting patiently. Zoran was shuffling nervously but Raven's hands never left his shoulders although Zoran would soon be leaving for Floukru, although he did not yet know it. It was Raven's plan and Clarke had agreed.

'So this will be a war on two fronts.' Clarke began, pointing to the map behind her; they had taken the see through board that Kane had stored in his quarters and brought it into engineering to aid them in addressing everyone. 'The lead team, led obviously by the Commander, will launch the assault on Polis. This team will face less numbers of Azgeda but we know how strong the Polis defences are.

'The second team led by Indra,' Clarke carried on and Octavia gave Indra a shocked glance, 'will keep Azgeda held back from attacking Trikru. Word has gotten back to Polis about our activities so they will be ready. However, Azgeda are not prepared for a full of defence of their own borders. They believe the focus will be upon Polis. They will soon clamber to action due to the numbers of warriors that have fled their own homes in the mountains so we will still face an army of thousands but it has not prepared as  thoroughly as we have.

'The dry moat along the edge of the border will slow their progress. There are also grenades and bombs to help protect Trikru. It is imperative that they aren't wasted. There are a limited supply and we need to protect Trikru for as long as possible.

'We've also got the radios thanks to Monty, Wick, Raven and Zoran to use so we can respond to any changes in tactics. Floukru are on standby for aid and to receieve anyone who needs medical treatment if Arkadia fills to capacity.' Clarke finished.

'What if Azgeda makes it to Arkadia?' Miller asked.

'We have our own defences.' Clarke replied. 'But if they get that far then they have likely won unless the Polis team succeeds. The King will more than likely send his warriors to Polis to assist him if they break through Trikru territory anyway.'

'Defences here will also help Trikru.' Raven promised and Lexa eyed Raven suspiciously.

Raven had come to her several times about plans to try to build small rocket systems but Raven's love of explosions would most likely lead to Trikru burning rather than Azgeda, a point even Raven had seemed to accept. Plus, not all within Azgeda were the enemy. She did not want to carry out the kind of assault the Mountain Men had upon TonDC. That would not be her legacy.

'How much time do we have?' Bryan asked.

'Until we die.' Clarke replied. 'The weather is changing. We think it'll be about a week and we could be getting ice or rain storms. The battle could be over in an hour but if Azgeda hangs on until then-'

'We're dead.' Wick finished.

'Yes.' Clarke said.

'We've faced worse odds.' Harper muttered.

'This is Azgeda.' Indra shot at her.

'Harper is right.' Lexa said, with authority. 'Several months ago we faced the threat of the world ending and yet here we are. I would not send us to war unless I was confident in our abilities to succeed. We know what needs to be done. We have never been more prepared for any fight that we have faced.'

There was a collection of small smiles across the room. They were all used to winning and that made Lexa's heart soar but also gave her pause for thought. Over confidence was often one of the greatest traps in battle but, more than anything, they all had faith. After the hatred Lexa had experienced from all of the clans regarding the black rain, after Clarke's almost execution and the acceptance of Lexa again as Heda by Trikru and Skaikru, she had been happily surprised at the union between the two clans. She had never known two clans work together more closely and after the battles between them if anything gave them all hope it was that. Trikru and Skaikru were now true allies that would stay by each others side until the very end.  

Lexa could never have predicted all that would come to pass when the Ark (and specifically Clarke) had fallen from the sky, and there had been room to doubt many of her decisions. Her people had certainly doubted them, and yet peace had always felt right. It was not just because that was her preferred route; she was ruthlessly pragmatic and Skaikru had demanded war on more than one occassion, but the hearts within Skaikru had been worth waiting for. Clarke had delivered hope. Raven and Wick constantly lived for a better day and worked loyally to their friends. Kane had learnt the pain of loss but it had not broken him, it had made him committed to trying to ensure that no one else would be lost to hatred. Miller, Harper, Bryan and Monty had been a constant force for Clarke. They often quietly just did the jobs she demanded and with little complaint but they always remained true to her no matter what. She still hoped that for Clarke's sake, Octavia would take heart from the good that still remained within Arkadia.

Arkadia had been broken. It had commited atrocities and war crimes and arguably was little better than Azgeda but only unity mattered to Lexa. Only unity could secure their future and by leading from within Arkadia, Lexa had never felt more destined to fulfill her duty to her people. She had never felt that she owned the title of Heda as much as on this day.

'I will address the clans shortly.' Lexa informed them. 'But I wish to extend my respect and gratitude for you all. You have never accepted defeat, even in moments you have felt broken. You have worked to get to this day and together we will finally win peace.'

* * *

'Hey,' Octavia stopped Indra before she could leave engineering with the others, 'I thought we were going with Lexa.'

'You are.' Indra clarified. 'The Commander needs me to lead Trikru.'

'Then I should be with you.' Octavia insisted.

She had always been with Indra. Even when she had acted as Chancellor, she had looked to Indra for support and the one time that Indra had questioned her, it had shown Octavia's weakness. She should have listened to Indra's protestations about the fight between Clarke and Bellamy. Indra was her mentor and friend and Octavia needed her.

'The Commander requires you.' Indra said, with emphasis. 'The Commander has asked you to serve.'

'Trikru were Lincoln's people. I'm your people.' Octavia urged.

'And you are also Lexa's, and Skaikru's and Clarke's.' Indra said but her voice was slightly more gentle. 'I have taught you everything I know Octavia kom Skaikru. You are a true warrior. It is right for you to march on Polis and take back our capital for our commander.'

'I don't know if I can do this without you.' Octavia confessed.

'My spirit and my lessons will always remain with you.' Indra told her.

* * *

 

Clarke quickly made her way through the halls of Arkadia; Lexa would be shortly addressing the population of Arkadia and those of the other clans who would be fighting today. She kept running through the plan in her head. She remembered Lexa's words that plans never lasted long in battle but it was the only thing that helped keep her remotely calm.

'Clarke,'

Clarke turned around when she heard Jackson call her name and she waited for him to catch up to her.

'I just wanted to say good luck.'

Clarke smiled sincerely at him. Her mother's death had been hardest on him out of all of the Arkers besides herself, Raven and Kane. He would feel her loss every day and especially in times like these as Abby was usually the one who guided him but he had proven that while Abby had monitored her during the mission in the City of Light, that he was more than capable of taking care of Arkadia.

'A big part of why the clans have been able to come together is because of the work you did with the clinic, Clarke. You showed them that Skaikru could look after Trikru without any agenda.' Jackson praised earnestly.

'Maybe we'll open another clinic some day.' Clarke said.

'Your mom helped too, Clarke. It's why so many of Azgeda are here.'

Clarke nodded once.

'We'll see.' She replied, slightly cynical. 'Take care of yourself, and Arkadia.'

'Take care of yourself too, Clarke.' Jackson told her.

* * *

 

Lexa strode into the grounds of Arkadia and the entire congregation fell silent; they were all gathered waiting for her. Clarke and Kane were both by her side and Indra stood proudly in front of their united people.

The faces before her clearly depicted nerves and fear but there was also pride there. There was a tremor in the air of excitement that Trikru, Skaikru and Floukru had managed to unify and that they were about to face this threat together and end the terror of the raiders once and for all before Soal inevitably turned his army onto them all.

'My people,' Lexa addressed the crowd, 'we have joined together to finally overthrow the threat of Azgeda and a King who has sought to create tyranny.

'We have achieved what the King would never have dared to dream possible. We have united; despite his intentions to create discord and anger and to turn sister against sister, healer against warrior, mother against daughter and clan against clan. We are stood here together, willing to meet our fate as one.

'What the King of Azgeda has failed to realise is that it matters not what clan we are born into. We have stepped beyond the world of honouring our own blood lines into a realm where we long to see all children be able to prosper, where everyone can have a future.

'I recognise his appeal to Azgeda, and to the people cast out into the Dead Zone. They are driven by an understandable anger and desire for revenge but that is not justice and we will deliver better than that.

'Today our spirits have joined as one. We will free Polis from the hopelessness that has occupied its streets. The lands will of our clans will emerge to face a new dawn of peace. The King will finally see the full strength of our Coalition and of the power we possess!'

There was no hesitation from the roar of her people. Skaikru, Trikru and Floukru chanted for their heda. They acted as one now, and Lexa just hoped that in the frenzy and despair of battle that bond would remain. They would be tested as they fell to their deaths far more than right now, even though she could sense their fear. What would likely sway the end of this was who they believed could truly deliver peace. The people were sick of war and death, particularly after the black rain. Luna had inspired many by her longing for a better way and now her people needed to trust that she would be the one to deliver it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm sorry that I haven't had a chance to reply to your comments yet. I hate falling behind but I will today. I've just had an incredible amount of work to catch up on. I am still reading (and loving) your comments though. 
> 
> There will be some goodbyes (or farewells) in the next chapter as the different groups part for their missions. Hopefully it won't be full of too much angst because I don't want to get you all upset before the first arrow has even been fired :P 
> 
> Also, for some reason I keep wanting to call Jackson 'Jasper'. It's made that little scene with Clarke very confusing and annoying. It probably wouldn't be as much of an issue if I hadn't killed Jasper off but if there are any random mentions of him I've not spotted then I apologise. Ghost Jasper isn't actually a thing, I'm just an idiot.


	89. This is not Goodbye

Clarke practically dragged Lexa into their quarters and slammed the door shut behind them.

'Clarke-'

Clarke cut Lexa off with a firm kiss and pushed Lexa against the door, her hands going for Lexa's hips. Lexa's hissed slightly as Clarke's fingers grazed under the clothes at her waist and Clarke broke the kiss and immediately starting undoing Lexa's clothes.

'We don't have time for this.' Lexa said quietly but her hips rolled forward slightly as Clarke began to undo her buttons and pulled down her pants, and Lexa kicked them away.

'We're making time for this.' Clarke said.

'Clarke-'

'We're going to war, Lexa.' Clarke said desperately. 'Let us just have this: just this one moment before it all starts again.'

Lexa leaned forward and captured Clarke's lips but this time the kiss was much more gentle and Clarke knew Lexa was trying to reassure her that everything would be okay and that they would see this through but Clarke couldn't stand it; she didn't want to think about what might happen. She'd been here too many times before so she insistently deepened the kiss and Lexa was pinned again to the door.

'What do you want?' Clarke muttered, between kisses.

'You.' Lexa breathed and her hands gripped Clarke's hips and pulled her closer.

Clarke bit back a low moan at the contact. She struggled to remain in control, her nerves about what lay ahead trying to make her rush forward into a euphoric escapism with Lexa but the tingle of Lexa's breath on her skin somehow graced her with some clarity. Lexa was here, they still had time.

'What do you want from me?' Clarke asked, biting Lexa's bottom lip and then breaking away.

Lexa leaned in to take Clarke's lips once more but Clarke's head swayed back, out of her reach and Lexa looked into Clarke's eyes questioning but Clarke wanted to hear exactly what Lexa wanted with this time they had together.

'You.' Lexa repeated, in almost a whisper and Lexa's hand lightly traced patterns over Clarke's clothed chest and down to her stomach.

Clarke shuddered at the touch and it was with huge restraint that she didn't push herself into Lexa once more.

'I want to taste you.' Lexa rushed on, in the same whisper full of arousal, 'I want you desperate for me to taste you. I want to listen to you pant curses and my name like a prayer. I want to feel your hips push against me, needing more contact. I want to feel you around my fingers, needing more of me...'

Each word set Clarke's nerves on fire and she was aware of how incredibly wet she was already. She failed to bite back a moan and buried her head in the crook of Lexa's neck but Lexa's arms were quickly around her and she was lifted up. Clarke automatically wrapped her legs around Lexa's waist tightly, needing friction and as Lexa's set Clarke down on the bed she moved her body against Clarke's and Clarke's hips bucked forward.

Clarke quickly pulled her own clothes off as Lexa did the same. Clarke pushed her thigh into Lexa's core and let out a satisfied smirk at Lexa's moan. Clarke could feel the damp against her leg and it sent a shiver up her spine. She pressed Lexa's body closer into her and Lexa gasped at Clarke's urgency.

Lexa found Clarke's lips again as Clarke pushed her thigh up to meet Lexa's centre again and Lexa's hips canted against her. Clarke's hand found Lexa's hips but Lexa broke the kiss and Clarke smiled and bit her lip in anticipation.

Lexa extracted herself from Clarke's tight grip and slowly slid down her body. Clarke moaned at the feeling of Lexa's naked body against hers and watching Lexa drawing out her movements before she settled at Clarke's core aroused her even more.

Lexa placed several light kisses on Clarke's hip and Clarke was sure that Lexa would waste time teasing her. She was about to complain when she felt Lexa's tongue part her folds.

' _Fuck, Lexa_ ,'

It was panted, half out of overwhelming desire as her hips lurched forward once more and half out of surprise. Lexa's tongue caressed her and Clarke gripped at Lexa's head lightly, desperately needing something to hold onto as she shut her eyes and her breathing quickened. She was soon pleading with Lexa for more contact and Lexa obliged, eagerly inserting two fingers into Clarke. Clarke didn't wait for comfort to find her at the feeling of Lexa inside her and immediately began thrusting her hips as Lexa played with Clarke's clit with her tongue. Lexa's fingers worked furiously in Clarke as Clarke demanded more. Any pain barely registered with her and she panted out her request for Lexa's other hand. Lexa stretched her hand up and Clarke grabbed it and put it firmly to her breast. Lexa let out a low moan and Clarke was sure she felt Lexa's body squirm against the bed. Clarke urged Lexa's hand on in her her own. She wanted Lexa all over her body until she could hardly take it any more and she could barely comprehend. She was lost to everything except for Lexa's touch and the occasional moan of her name that Lexa would release in fervor. Her senses were completely overwhelmed and she suddenly came hard, releasing a loud and strangled cry.

Clarke's head collapsed on the bed and she struggled to catch her breath. Lexa climbed back up Clarke's body and she felt Lexa brush the hair out of her face which was damp with sweat. Lexa pressed a gentle kiss to Clarke's cheek as Clarke continued to fight for oxygen but even in her hazed state, Clarke didn't want Lexa to wait. Lexa was watching her so tenderly as her breathing slowed, she didn't notice Clarke's hand drift down until it pressed against Lexa's centre and Lexa let out a surprised moan.

Lexa's head fell onto the bed next to Clarke's as fingers explored her. Clarke wrapped their bodies closer together with her legs as Lexa began to pant heavily. Lexa's head surged forward and attached her lips to Clarke's neck. Clarke felt teeth drag across it as Lexa began to lose control as Clarke sped up her ministrations. Clarke knew she had been so overcome with desire at seeing Clarke orgasm that Lexa was spent within moments and Clarke wore a happy smile as she watched the pleasure rippled over Lexa's features.

They lay together for a few moments, with only Lexa's ragged breathing making any noise in the room.

'Back to the fight, I guess.' Clarke finally said when Lexa had calmed.

Lexa gave a sad smile and kissed Clarke's forehead lightly.

'We have more time together ahead of us, Clarke.' Lexa said softly.

Clarke rarely had faith when it came to confrontation with death. She'd seen too many people die and had been compelled to murder too often but in her heart, she knew that even if somehow they both made it until old age it would never be enough.

* * *

 

'Zoran, you have to go.' Raven told him firmly.

Everyone who was leaving was packing up. Many of the rovers and spare horses were taking the vulnerable to Floukru. Lexa's team were leading the assault but the prisoners would follow behind in close proximity as a bargaining chip, if needed.

'I won't leave you. I don't want to go!' Zoran pleaded.

'Hey, kid chaos.' Wick said, smiling at him. 'We will see you soon but this war is too dangerous.'

'No, it isn't! I'm sick of everyone leaving!' Zoran cried and he looked to Raven. 'You promised me I could be your apprentice! You promised that you would stay with me!'

Raven looked torn at Zoran but she stood firm.

'You have to go.'

'Raven,' Wick said quietly, 'maybe we're wrong about this.'

'He's a kid.' Raven hissed.

'Yeah, who has been abandoned enough.' Wick said gently. 'I know we want to protect him but Arkadia isn't going to much safer than Floukru. It's going to take them time to get everyone on boats. They'll be at the shore for who knows how long and if Ice Nation can make it here, they can make it there. At least here we have defences.'

Raven looked back to Zoran whose eyes were alight with a raw determination. It just didn't feel right to let him stay but plenty of youngsters had been through similar situations. Clarke had told her all about Aden and how he had been raised as a Nightblood.

'I know what I'm asking.' Zoran said. 'I don't want to leave my friends behind.'

Raven felt her will power fall apart. She would never leave her friends. The thing that had hurt her the most about adjusting to the damage in her leg was that there were some things she couldn't do. She'd had to watch as Clarke, Bellamy and Octavia had went to try to save Finn. Zoran had people leave on him or die on him for too long.

'You don't leave mine or Wick's side.' Raven told him firmly and she could tell that he was positively beaming. 'I better not regret this.'

'We do this together, Raven.' Wick said. 'Just like always.'

* * *

 

Kane was on his way to wish Clarke off but he caught Indra as she crossed him in the grounds. She was going to lead the defence of Trikru. It was strange to be watching his entire guard go off with her but he had no complaints. He trusted her with their lives.

'Kane,' Indra said warmly, 'don't look so nervous. Lexa is a great leader. We will win this war and our people will finally be safe.'

'One can only hope.' Kane said, with a slight smile.

'We can do more that. We can fight with our lives and dedicate ourselves to our people. We will win this, Kane and nobody will ever dare question the force of Trikru and Skaikru again.'

* * *

 

Monty stood next to one of the rovers that Miller, Bryan and Harper would be leaving in. Miller shut up the back as the supplies were packed and Harper stepped closer to Monty.

'I'm coming too.' Monty insisted.

'Monty, you're not part of the guard.' Harper said gently.

'I don't care. I won't leave you.'

'We'll have her back.' Miller promised.

'It isn't the same.' Monty said, and Miller stepped back to let them have a moment. 'Wick and Raven can handle any issue with communications. They don't need me now.'

Harper hesitated so Monty pressed on.

'I know how to fight. Octavia has been helping me and I may be scrawny but I'm agile.' Monty insisted earnestly and Harper laughed. 'We should do this together. Isn't that what all of this has been about?'

Harper pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and smiled warmly.

'Get your ass in the car then.'

* * *

 

Clarke was ready by the horses. She had already said her goodbyes to Miller, Bryan, Harper and Monty and wished them luck. Her heart ached at saying goodbye to them. She had counted on them for so much that the idea that they would face potential death and she would be miles away had killed her. She'd never had to run from her people in a fight before. She'd always been by their side, even when she was in the City of Light, or she'd always been running to them. For them to go in different directions felt unsettling to Clarke. Her anxiety that she would not be able to watch over them had grown enormously within the last few hours.

Zoran, Wick, Kane and Raven had come to see her, Lexa, Octavia and Murphy off. The prisoners were waiting, near them next to the gates yet they were not tied up. Lexa had wanted to postpone that moment for as long as possible. None of them were happy about using the Ice Nation prisoners in such a way but if it would help secure peace they had little choice.

Clarke was surprised when Kane stepped forward and gave her a hug. After a moment of shock, Clarke returned it and stepped back smiling tightly.

'Good luck.' Kane said.

'You too.' Clarke replied and Kane gave Lexa a nod and walked back into Arkadia.

Clarke shivered slightly as the temperature was beginning to dip and she pulled her jacket around her. Clarke looked slightly uncertain at Raven.

'You better not get your ass killed out there.' Raven warned and Clarke chuckled.

'I'll try my best.' Clarke offered but Raven shook her head.

'You better do more than that.'

Clarke smiled and stepped forward to hug Raven tightly.

'May we meet again.' Clarke said, her throat constricted as they broke apart.

'We will.' Raven promised.

Clarke nodded as a few tears fell and she wiped her face.

'Hey,' Raven said to Lexa, who was a few feet away by her horse, 'you better look out for her.'

'I will.' Lexa vowed, full of sincerity.

'Sap.' Raven muttered under her breath.

'Tell me about it.' Murphy smirked and Raven turned to him.

Clarke stepped back to Lexa to give them an ounce of privacy, although Zoran and Wick were watching them, the latter with a huge grin on his face and Clarke rolled her eyes.

'You should stay close to Lexa. She'll keep you safe too.' Raven teased.

'I've survived this long on my own.' Murphy pointed out, with a confident smile.

'You're not on you're own now.' Raven said quietly.

Murphy looked at her, a lingering trace of hope in his eyes but before he could say anything in response Raven surged towards him and kissed him fiercely. Murphy instantly wrapped his arms around her and responded happily. Wick actually cheered and applauded (causing many of Skaikru to look around in surprise), Clarke laughed, Lexa looked away as though she didn't have the heart to tell her Flame Keeper to put his duties first and Zoran's eyes were as wide as ALIE's old drones.

When Raven pulled back, Murphy's hand went to scratch the back of his head and he looked remarkably dazed, as well as pleased with himself.

'Erm..' He said and Raven laughed.

'Stay with Lexa and Clarke.' Raven repeated but more seriously this time and Murphy nodded.

'I'll see you when I get back then?'

Raven merely grinned but then she turned to Octavia, who had been slightly isolated the whole time. She was to the other side of the horses and making a show of going through the saddles but it was obvious that she felt out of place. She'd hardly been in Raven's or Clarke's good graces for a while now.

'You take care of yourself too, Octavia.' Raven said and Octavia looked at her in surprise for a brief second.

'I'll be fine. I was born for this.' Octavia said, her eyes blazing with determination but a smile played at her lips and Raven nodded. 'Take care of yourself too, okay?'

The warriors had begun tying up the Azgeda prisoners, much to their sighs but their groans were relatively quiet. They understood the reasoning even if they did not like it much. Octavia stepped closer to Echo to start tying the prisoners closest to them but she made sure the chains were not too tight.

Rosar next to her soon laughed in delight.

'You're making her dreams come true, Skaikru runt, she's been aching for you to tie her up.'

'Shof op, Rosar.' Echo demanded and the words were etched with so much hatred that even Rosar's smile faltered for a second but thankfully for them all she consented to be quiet.

Octavia secured the chains around Rosar but she took immense pleasure in pulling them tight and Rosar let out a hiss of pain. Rosar looked to Lexa but Lexa seemed as disinterested in her as ever. Rosar would not audibly complain, as it would be seen as weakness. Octavia finished securing their side of prisoners and when the warriors had taken control of the rest, Octavia, Clarke, Murphy and Lexa stepped to their horses.

'Be safe, you guys.' Wick said and they smiled at him but none had it in them to speak.

The air was thick with a thousand unspoken sentiments but Clarke was sure that they knew them all in their heart. The hundred were united, and it was that which was finally causing them to part for battle.

As Raven and Wick turned to go into Arkadia, Zoran haltered and turned to Rosar.

'You're a bitch!' He spat and then carried on into Arkadia.

They all looked at each other in surprise and Raven let out a roar of laughter that carried through the grounds and soon they had all joined in. Rosar looked utterly furious but due to the chains she couldn't so much as move an inch against her people, never mind chase after Zoran.

'Yeah, you don't have to worry about taking care, Rosar.' Raven practically sang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Love to you all for the kudos and comments. I hope this wasn't too full of angst but you know, this may be the very last time some of them see each other...or maybe not...I might decide to be nice for once. Who knows :P I tried to count how many people I had killed off so far but then I got confused as some of them I killed off several times due to the CoL but they weren't technically alive so I gave up. 
> 
> As we are on the eve of war, I just want to say a huge thank you for sticking with the story. I know the beginning chapters annoy a lot of people because it sticks with the canon but hopefully you all understand why I did that now even if it isn't to everyone's tastes. This story has gone from the 100 fighting each other, weird City of Light twists and turns to a war between the clans. My personal highlight was Clarke's brief experience on a motorbike though ;) It's been so great to explore all of the characters and I never even expected anyone to like Maven, or want Octavia and Echo to hook up. Hell, I thought I'd lose every single reader I had when Clarke killed Bellamy so the fact any of you are still around when that was ages ago is an actual miracle :P


	90. In Line for the Throne

Raven and Wick pushed the final launcher to the edge of the grounds. They needed them as close to the wall as possible so that they would fire Raven's shells along the border and not at the Trikru villages. Raven had been hiding their construction behind the Rovers. They were a few feet long and almost as wide with a cylinder in the middle where a shell would be fired straight into the air. Raven hadn't had a chance to test them and they both knew that this could be a complete disaster.

Wick stepped back, sweat running down his face and his cheeks flushed.

'Thank God that's the last one.'

'You won't be saying that if Trikru can't hold Azgeda off.' Raven pointed out.

'I thought Lexa vetoed this idea.' Kane said, coming towards them and Raven could have cursed.

Kane had been getting everyone ready. Those who weren't leaving with Floukru and had decided to remain were in two groups: those who were ready to defend Arkadia and were in the towers or waiting in the grounds, and those who were unable to and were taking shelter inside.

'She did...' Wick mumbled.

'But Lexa isn't here now and you're the Chancellor.' Raven said firmly. 'This will help us all.'

'It's a measure of last resort.' Kane told her seriously.

'Of course.' Raven agreed. 'I don't want to have to use them  either, Kane.'

'I don't want to have to face Lexa if we do.' Wick admitted.

* * *

 

Octavia walked a little way behind Lexa and Clarke who were leading the charge. They'd gone almost three quarters of the way on horse back before they dismounted and the horses were sent to the rear. They would be reserved for any scouts or messengers in case communications went down or to drag people out of the fight who had been injured. Using horses through the tight streets of Polis would never work and Octavia was glad; she didn't much like the fact of fighting on horses.

The Azgeda prisoners were at the rear and they would be kept there until the time was ready to use them and negotiate their freedom. Octavia was glad to get away from Rosar but she did spare a thought for Echo who was literally bound to her.

Octavia pulled out the piece of paper she always kept in the breast pocket she had ripped on the inside of her leather jacket. She unfolded it carefully and took in the sight of Clarke's drawing of Lincoln.

'Clarke made that?' Murphy asked and Octavia glanced sideways at him as they made their way through the forest.

'Yeah.'

'She drew me once.' Murphy said and Octavia rolled her eyes.

Octavia folded the piece of paper back up and returned it to her pocket.

'She offered to make me one of Emori.' Murphy shrugged.

'You didn't want it?' Octavia asked, her voice clipped.

'Don't need it.' Murphy answered. 'She's not easy to forget.'

Octavia gave a tight smile in understanding.

'So who do you think is going to win this war?' Octavia asked, desperately hoping that Murphy would take the hint and would steer the conversation firmly away from Lincoln.

'I think we're all going to die.' Murphy deadpanned.

'Thanks for the faith.' Octavia snapped.

'Whatever happens, happens.' Murphy replied. 'I'll deal with it when it does.'

'Great plan.' Octavia retorted sarcastically.

* * *

 

Monty, Miller, Bryan and Harper lined up alongside Indra at the edge of the Trikru border. Night was finally upon them but they could see flames in the distance. Their job was simply to hold off Azgeda which would be attacking as soon as Lexa was in reach of Polis. The King wanted a scruffy dog fight and would protect his power by any means necessary. Cutting Trikru through the middle so that the Polis squad was isolated would be the easiest tactic.

The Trikru war drums had been beating since they left Arkadia and Monty recognised that it was to the same rhythm that he had heard on the day that Raven and Jasper had blown up the bridge. It was quite eerie that now he would be marching to that same beat and that it would be a source of comfort and not fear.

Indra released a roar of a battle cry and the Trikru, Skaikru and the few of Floukru who had chosen to fight joined her.

There a low crunch of thunder in the distance but the waiting and watching clouds softly dropped rain upon them. Monty shivered slightly as the rain lowered the temperature a little and as they breathed there was mist that came from all their nostrils. Monty thought wildly of dragons.

Over the Trikru drums, Monty was sure he could hear a quicker pounding of drums in the distance.

'Azgeda.' Indra breathed.

The rain that begun to fall harder didn't seem to bother her at all. Some had seemed to shrink in the change of weather but Indra stood as proud and as angry for her clan as she ever was.

Monty looked ahead. The flames that swept through the forest before them were so great in number that anyone else might think a forest fire had started but that would almost be a relief rather than to face an army of such a scale.

Monty tried to ignore his fear. This would finally be an end to the blood shed but it was a terrifying prospect to face an army that had double their numbers. More had been called upon than had even been prepared to face the mountain. It was not simply warriors who had wanted to join the fight but healers, teachers, semets, cooks and builders. Trikru bodies had came from every village and were at around fifteen thousand and a few hundred of Skaikru and Floukru had joined them. However, it was Skaikru weapons that helped sway the balance of power but Monty still couldn't help but feel that maybe this was not their war but then he felt a stab of loneliness as he thought that this would be the biggest day of his life, and Jasper was not here. Rage swelled in his gut and old memories threatened to overcome him. He blinked back tears and looked at Harper and Miller.

'For Jasper.'

'For Jasper.' They repeated, with dedication in their eyes.

* * *

 

Clarke and Lexa looked down at the flickering candle light across Polis. While fear was pounding through her heart, Clarke couldn't help but take some comfort at the sight of the city. This was hers and Lexa's home.

Murphy stood to the side of Lexa, with Octavia on Clarke's side in the very centre of a row of archers. Clarke and Lexa each had a radio, as did Raven, Kane, Indra, Monty, Octavia and all of the different leaders of each squad that had a specific mission assigned to them.

The rain dance quietly off the leaves in the forest behind them. Many of the warriors would still be sheltered under the canopy of the trees as there were that many of them, but Clarke felt her hair cling to her face but when she glanced at Lexa she was surprised to see her war paint had not begun to run.

'Here we are again.' Clarke said.

'Here we are.' Lexa replied quietly.

There was movement in the city below and Clarke watched as the lights swarmed around the gates as the King made his defences stronger. A lot of the tunnels would be blocked off but Lexa had known this city better than anyone and still had other ways in for Octavia while they focused on the assault of the gate. If the King made things go so far.

'Scared?' Lexa asked her, watching Clarke intently and Clarke met her eyes and smiled easily.

'Not with you.' Clarke shrugged and Lexa smirked.

Clarke couldn't help but think back to the mountain. She knew Lexa was too. She had felt so confident with Lexa. She had never once worried for her own safety as they had waited for Raven and Wick to go for the turbines at the dam. The only fear had been for her friends inside but Lexa made war seem so easy. It should have been a scary thought had it not been for the fact that Lexa would commit herself anyway possible in ensuring peace until her last breath. It meant that whenever war arose Clarke knew it was what was needed.

'Let's get this over with.' Octavia spat by Clarke's side.

Lexa gave Clarke one last look before turning and facing Polis regally. Their Commander was waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm so sorry that I have sucked with updates today. I was at work, then I had to pick up a new pair of glasses and went shopping quickly and then the Lion King came on and well, Scar is fabulous so I just had to watch that. :P Plus, it was Pride (and alt Pride) in my region/home away from home city yesterday so everyone is a bit knackered and slow with everything today.


	91. One Last Try for Peace

Lexa watched as Clarke took out one of her radios and gave instructions to the lead warrior that was overseeing the prisoners. Clarke put the radio away and they waited in silence.

'You sure they aren't going to just attack?' Murphy asked, looking down at Polis.

'He's too scared.' Lexa commented. 'He's waiting to see what I will do. He doesn't know what move to make next.'

'Suits us.' Murphy shrugged.

'That it does.' Lexa replied. 'Octavia, go.'

Octavia nodded and she departed to Lexa's left with a team of twenty of the warriors who were most skilled towards stealth. Clarke gave Octavia's back a quick glance but she didn't make any attempt to speak before Octavia laughed and Clarke's eyes quickly flickered back to Polis. Octavia and her squad would be making progress through a tunnel that was to the north east of the city. It was obscured as the tunnel started at the very bottom of a steep drop off and it took time to climb down and enter the tunnel that merely resembled a partially collapsed cave. The exit to the tunnel however, would lead into the heart of the city. It was worth the time.

The warriors behind shifted as a one dragged forward a prisoner and Clarke, Lexa and Murphy turned to acknowledge Rosar although Clarke's and Murphy's expressions were those of deep hatred.

The warrior stopped just before Lexa. Lexa nodded to Clarke and she pulled out the spare radio. She fiddled for a moment with the channels.

'Just press the top button and he can speak to Lexa.' Clarke told Rosar.

'Who?' Rosar spat, looking at the radio in Clarke's hand as though it was contaminated.

'The King.' Lexa answered. 'You will deliver it to him.'

'I'm a traitor!' Rosar hissed. 'What's to stop him from cutting off my head?'

'Who cares?' Murphy smirked. 'We don't need your head.'

Lexa struggled to stop herself from rolling her eyes. It helped nothing to be so overtly hostile at this point. Rosar may still have her uses.

'I protected you by making you a prisoner, Rosar.' Lexa said and Rosar's eyes fixed upon her hungrily. 'He will look upon you and see one of his own that has been captured by Trikru and held by Skaikru. He will not believe you are a traitor but he has one chance. Deliver the radio, that is what I require.'

'Yes, Heda.' Rosar replied with complete reverence but her gaze returned to contempt as she looked at Clarke and finally took the radio from her.

Clarke scoffed and Murphy looked faintly disgusted. Lexa nodded in dismissal and the warrior freed the binds from Rosar and she departed down the hill to Polis.

'Hope he does cut off her head.' Murphy grunted.

'Murphy.' Lexa warned but she heard Clarke poorly stifle a laugh.

The rain continued to fall as they waited. Lexa's commander outfit felt bulky with its absorption of water but she was well enough trained that it would not slow her down in battle. She hoped it would be true for Clarke and Murphy. Both had agreed to at least wear more than the armor Skaikru provided. They each wore a shoulder pad over their dominant arm and thick leather boots. Murphy had shed his Flame Keeper's robe, which he had despised anyway, and was back to his Skaikru clothes otherwise but he wore several layers of garments to try to fight off the cold. He had not however, opted for war paint and Clarke's retort had been merely that he looked scary enough as he was.

They waited in relative silence for the best part of an hour. Clarke paced slightly and every so often Murphy would stretch his neck or give a little sigh. Lexa remained completely still. Her hands did not even long to go for the swords that were in their sheaths across her back. The longer that Rosar took, the better for Octavia but at nearly the hour mark, Lexa's radio crackled into life and she pulled it from her belt.

'Soal,' Lexa greeted.

'Commander.'

Lexa was slightly surprised that he had chosen to refer to her title but she did not let it show.

'We have your people. We now have over three hundred in total. There are adults and children, healers who had to flee your land in order to become raiders. People, in short, who do not deserve death. They will be delivered to you upon your surrender. The policy of _blood must not have blood_ remains in place and as such you will spend the rest of your days in the prison of Polis but your people will be safe, and they will have a chance at a better future.' Lexa said calmly.

There was a brief silence and when Soal's voice returned it was in a more constricted nature.

'I cannot. My people would never accept a show of weakness.'

'It is not for your people to decide your fate. As soon as Polis is returned under my command, you will be guaranteed safety.' Lexa replied.

'You underestimate Azgeda.' Soal replied.

'Then we have reached an impasse.' Lexa concluded. 'Remove the vulnerable from Polis or at least shelter them. You have half an hour. Then we attack.'

'As you wish, Commander.' Soal finished and the radio went silent.

Lexa hooked the radio to her belt while Murphy spluttered.

'He's going to let Polis burn! You promised him an easy way out!'

'It is not an easy way out for him.' Lexa replied. 'He fears the wrath of Azgeda, the vengeance of the spirits, the loss of his own pride. Remember, he was never given much of a chance to be seen as anything more than a stain on his family. This is his chance to make Azgeda great. All Nia wanted, and all she claimed her people wanted, was the power over all of the clans: the power of Heda.'

'He's going to die.' Murphy said.

'More than him will die.' Clarke muttered furiously. 'It's absurd. He could save them all.'

'He thinks this way is salvation.' Lexa replied calmly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Hope you're all good :) So Lexa is still trying for peace even with people who insist on waging war. If I was Soal I would have taken the deal...good luck facing Lexa. It was quite nice to do a slight reverse of Mount Weather. Lexa took that deal because it was the best thing for her people and she's now offering something vaguely similar to Soal and yet he rejects it. His history is obviously a lot more complicated though. Whereas Lexa was born and taught that she must never show weakness (and remember how so many of her people see peace as just that), Soal was taught that he was worth nothing and could never achieve greatness. I think they both help give insight into the grounder culture in that respect.


	92. Spirits of War

Soal paced in the throne room nervously. He glanced at the throne and then once more turned his back to it. He hated hated occupying that chair. Those who visited him expected miracles that he could not perform and yet they barely held the contempt out of their wavering voices. They despised asking for the service of the King Azgeda, and they were offended that a king was so obviously marked with the effects of radiation. Soal glanced down at the fingers that protruded from the back of his hand and smiled bitterly.

In the last weeks in Polis, his hair had grown far longer and his beard seemed to be little more than a small tangle of knots. The frame of his face was covered in small white scars that could have looked like the etchings of an artist. The middle of his face was now covered in white war paint. He had sought to look more the part of the traditional Azgeda warrior from legends, and even his armor was draped with thick furs as though he was back in the snowy regions.

His guards waited anxiously to see what would happen next and Rosar looked at him, with the same distaste that Nia used to but at least one of his people was now out of the clutches of Lexa.

'Your highness,' the nearest guard prompted.

'We will attack as soon as they make their first move.' Soal stated, looking from his hand to the guard. 'Prepare the tower to release the mist if they make it within striking distance.'

'That will also hurt the people who are fighting for us.' The guard pointed out.

'There are places for shelter.' Soal dismissed.

'You could stand side by side with the Commander.' Rosar said, her cheeks flushed.

'That was not the deal.' Soal answered wearily; the war drums in all honesty were beginning to give him a headache.

'Then make it the deal. For the pride of Azgeda!' Rosar half shouted.

Soal held up a hand to try to silence her but it amounted to nothing.

'The coalition under Lexa's rule, with Azgeda as the jewel in the crown, would make us the envy of all the clans!'

'The other clans are nothing now.' Soal replied. 'They are in chaos. For such a great leader, who has come to Lexa? The Skaikru fools and a few who have dragged themselves out of the sea? Of what am I supposed to be afraid?'

'Of Lexa!' Rosar answered hotly. 'She is more powerful than you know and she can make Azgeda great once more!'

'Enough!' Soal screamed, spit spraying the floor.

'What of the civilians?' The guard asked.

'They fight!' Soal spat quickly. 'They fight for Azgeda! They fight for me! They fight for their pride!'

'What about the childr-'

'I don't care how old they are!' He snapped. 'They should have to fight for life if it means that much to them, as I had to. The fates and spirits will watch over them. This is their destiny and they will not meet it as cowards!'

The guard nodded slowly and Rosar's haughty look had returned.

'Today Azgeda will prove once more that it is the most powerful clan.' Soal whispered.

* * *

 

The Trikru war drums beat louder than ever. The rain splashing with each hit off them. The rain itself could no longer be heard over the war drums. The air was thick with agitation as the allotted time was up. Soal's time as leader had come to an end.

Lexa glanced across to a dozen yards away and the warrior understood her signal. He grabbed the horn and put it to his lips, the sound reverberating through the forest. The warriors across the lands of Trikru all released a cry of 'Heda!' and Lexa knew that even Indra, from so far away would be joining at the sound of the horn.

Lexa eyed the gates of Polis. For too long her people had been at the mercy of a king who didn't know how to lead, who had only ever been taught hatred and who let raiders run ransack over the lands. Lexa reached behind and pulled out both of her blades and they let out a hiss as they were pulled from their sheaths. Murphy and Clarke instantly pulled out their own. Both were equipped with a sword and a dagger and Lexa knew about Murphy's pistol that was hidden in the back of his pants. In one fluid motion, all of the warriors around pulled out their weapons too. There was a great groan of the tension of wire as the front row of warriors pulled back the arrows in their bows but they stood stock still waiting for the command.

'Polis!' Lexa roared, waving the sword in her right hand in the air and then she charged down the bank.

There was the sound of thousands of thundering footsteps starting behind her as the warriors moved as one. Lexa felt Clarke and Murphy both at either side of her although quicker runners soon outstripped them. There was a whir of noise as the archers who remained in a solid wall behind fired into the grounds of Polis. The archers of Polis returned their fire and warriors began to hit the ground, rolling with a sickening thud down the hill as they continued their sprint. One warrior on Murphy's side was hit in the shoulder and hit the ground with a dull thud so that the arrow was pushed through her entry wound. She struggled to get up but then she was soon lost to the stampeding warriors behind who could not halt their course.

Arrows flew over their heads in great waves but within minutes, Lexa, Clarke and Murphy were at the wall. A great tree trunk was passed down the bank by the crowds of warriors. Those at the wall were relatively safe but the archers could pick everyone else off one by one. It was a sacrifice that came with war. The arrows were trained at those who pushed the tree trunk forward but it wasn't enough as more warriors stepped forward to bear the load. Ladders were quickly passed down and pinned against the walls and they all started to climb. The trunk was brought to the bottom and the strongest warriors slammed it against the gates as people made their way over the ladders.

Lexa hurled herself up the nearest ladder, with Clarke and Murphy following close behind. Lexa gripped the wet wood as tightly as she could with her gloves but it was her strong legs carried her up. Bodies fell all around and several ladders were knocked back and crushed the waiting warriors underneath. Lexa pulled herself onto the wall and quickly climbed down half way before jumping the rest and landing heavily on her feet and into a puddle so water splashed around her. Warriors rushed at her immediately but she sliced them down with her blades. One attacked at her right but there was a scream and Clarke landed heavily on top of him and she wrenched the dagger from his back.

'Some entrance.' Murphy remarked as he jumped down beside them.

Lexa fought the urge to smirk at Murphy but a horn in the distance pierced the battle cries and shots that rang out.

 'Trikru.' Clarke commented.

Lexa turned back to the chaos before her. Trikru would have to hold off the rest of the Azgeda army. This attack would trigger Azgeda's into their territory but Indra was a great leader.

There was a loud crash as the log finally brought the gate down and the rest of her warriors charged into Polis. Blood was already running through the streets as much as the rain water. Lexa released a magnificent war cry again as her warriors poured into Polis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for your comments and kudos :) And so the battle begins ;) It's quite nice writing Lexa as fighting to be Heda as it was always something that was forced upon her because of her black blood so it's good to explore her asserting her own autonomy over her destiny. 
> 
> Also, yes the chapter title was kind of inspired by Whittle's new show but tbf it's really difficult to think of chapter titles :P


	93. In Battle We Survive

There was a huge crack through the forest and for a second Monty thought the trees were being ripped from their roots but while the forest shuddered, enormous boulders and stones were thrown through the hair and smashed into the lands of Trikru. The nearest building around them was crushed in an instant and stone flew in every direction, one piece of rubble narrowly avoiding Miller's head.

'Do not fall back!' Indra screamed. 'Stand your ground!'

The warriors who had scattered the falling rock and debris surged forward again. Azgeda had made good work of the chaos and had placed planks to cross the moat. Flaming arrows were shot at them but they all missed or were snuffed out quickly by the rain. Some of Trikru ran forwards and heaved the planks away despite being slaughtered with arrows themselves. Trikru archers stood their ground and tried to pick off the charging Azgeda fighters one by one. Monty watched as across the moat, a young girl no more than nine years old was struck in the heart. Azgeda were still trying to battle through, knowing their numbers would eventually get them across even though the planks funneled them into open targets.

There was a roar behind Monty and he looked up at the only remaining building left that had not been damaged. Harper had gone to the roof and taken control of the arrow turret that Wick and Raven had designed and made multiple modifications to. It could hold up to eight arrows and fire them with as much force as if it was a machine gun. Harper trained the weapon on Azgeda and Monty turned back and watched three arrows rip through one charging Azgeda warrior and into the warrior behind.

'Attack! Attack for the love of our commander! Attack for the pride of our people!' Indra roared. 'Fight for the freedom from Azgeda!'

There was a grunt as an arrow plunged into Indra's forearm. She looked down at it, her eyes ablaze. She took a sharp intake of breath before snapping the arrow and pulling it back through her skin, barely releasing a hiss of pain.

'Azgeda scum.' She spat.

Indra turned behind her and raised her sword before crying out.

'Release the catapults!'

The air was immediately roaring with the sound of boulders being thrown through the air. The thick forest managed to withstand some blows but many trees were deciminated. The dark night and thick tree cover made it hard to tell how many had been hurt but not as many soldiers were rushing to the moat to meet death.

Within moments, more boulders were also being fired from Azgeda. Monty threw his body out of the way as another smashed near where the guard were in position, and Miller pulled him back to the building where Harper remained on the roof targeting the Azgeda soldiers attempting to cross the moat. Over half of the front line had to scatter with that timed boulder and so Azgeda surged again and Monty heard Harper's shout.

'They're crossing! They're crossing!'

Miller looked around the side of the building and swore loudly. He dragged Monty back up and they charged to meet the Azgeda warriors who were now within Trikru.

* * *

 

Octavia and her squad sprinted through the tunnels. She ignored the acid rushing through her legs and the blood pounding in her ears. It almost felt as though the tunnels were rattling with the noise of the fighting above. Every so often Octavia was sure her mind was playing tricks on her and she could hear screaming above. She had not been this worried at approaching a battle before. She didn't know what was different.

She'd been terrified for Lincoln when he had chosen not to go with her in the tunnels of Mount Weather but she had also known that no Mountain Man could challenge him. She had lost everyone, surely she had nothing left to fear but images of her friends taunted her with every thunderous step through the tunnels. She could not let go of her loyalty to them or her fear for them.

Indra would surely lead Monty and the others well. She put her faith in no one else as she had in Indra. Raven, Zoran , Kane and Wick should be protected by Arkadia. Clarke however, was going into the heart of Polis. If an arrow didn't pick her off first.

She pushed back the bitter regrets and memories of how Bellamy would have followed Clarke and they would have protected each other; those thoughts would do no good now. Lexa and Clarke together had been responsible for saving the entire world from nuclear destruction mere months before. Octavia had watched Lexa fight so gracefully and Octavia had envied her. Lexa had merely toyed with Ontari and she stood on the edge of war time and again with complete confidence. They were going to win this. They had to.

* * *

 

'Zoran, get inside!' Raven barked.

The noise of the catapults was booming through the forest. There were no signs of Azgeda fighters yet but the flames that flickered in the distance as well were a reminder that they were not far away. Raven swore she could hear the screams of death on the wind.

'I'm not leaving you!' Zoran protested.

'They're not here yet.' Wick said in a low voice and Raven had to hold back her retort.

It was terrifying being stuck here while her friends were out dying but they had to protect Arkadia. The resources here and weapons could give them a basic defence and provide somewhere for the others to fall back to if they needed to.

Kane stood next to Raven just as nervously, but he remained silent. Raven didn't know if he was aware that they were even there. Some of the guard were still near them in case they were needed on the launchers but the rest remained in the towers. Indra had trained them as archers and if any fighters emerged from the tree line they would be able to try to pick them off.

Raven glanced at Kane. They had barely spoken at all since she had returned to live at Arkadia. Clarke had reassured her that he held no ill will, and he certainly seemed focus on bringing peace to the land but Raven couldn't help the guilt that rose in the pit of her stomach. Everyone was still fighting for someone they loved and Kane had been left alone thanks to her.

'Perhaps you should at least put on some armor while we are waiting.' Niylah suggested.

Niylah had been the only one of those who had stayed in Arkadia from Trikru who had come outside but Raven could hardly blame them; most were still under Jackson's care or just weren't ready yet to fight.

Niylah had proven to be a great resource. She had so many connections thanks to her outpost that she had managed to stockpile weapons and armor for them all over the last few weeks. Raven knew it was naive to think that Niylah had done so purely because of Clarke when clearly Niylah was ruled by a good heart and a strong pride for her people. What Azgeda had done had sickened so many and Niylah seemed to relish the chance to be of some use.

'I don't need it.' Raven shrugged. 'And he's going inside.'

Raven looked pointedly at Zoran but he refused to meet her gaze and Wick just sighed.

'I love how I'm the bad guy and not Ice Nation.' Raven muttered.

'Didn't actually say anything.' Wick replied, as he double checked the launchers.

'He should be at Floukru anyway.'

'Still not saying anything.' Wick replied.

They all jumped when a particularly loud bang echoed in the distance. The only noise they could hear was from the border as Polis would be too far away. If anything, that made Raven worry even more for Clarke and Murphy but she couldn't help but feel concern for Monty and the others. It didn't feel right that they should all be in separate groups like this.

'Raven,' Kane said in a strained voice, 'perhaps it will be best to get the launchers loaded.'

Raven nodded slowly.

'Understood.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry no Clexa but their next bit is quite heavy so it just wouldn't have felt right to put them in when this chapter is quite different. That's why I put this chapter out today though so you wouldn't have to wait a full day with zero Clexa :P


	94. The Bonds of Loyalty

Lexa and Murphy fought closely alongside Clarke. Every so often Lexa would come to her aid as Clarke's inexperience with fighting was highlighted. Soal had done a horrendously poor job of trying to shelter people, if he had tried to at all. Clarke had come upon a child who would have been no more than six years old in armor that came down to her feet and she struggled to hold a small spear. Clarke had hesitated as the girl lunged and Clarke kicked out her feet and the girl tripped over. Clarke had to force her guilt back but she wrenched the spear from the girl's hand and dragged her to the nearest building as warriors fought all around. She kicked the door open and her eyes were wide when they landed on an elderly couple hiding in the corner of the room. They looked utterly terrified and were clinging onto each other as if for dear life. Clarke could not blame them. The city was filled with blood curdling screams and the streets already stank of death as blood stained the cobbles red that even the rain was struggling to wash away.

'Look after her.' Clarke said vehemently and she pushed the girl into the room and slammed the door behind her.

An Azgeda warrior quickly ran at her but he was struck in the side of a head with a spear and went tumbling to the floor dead.

Clarke gave Lexa a soft smile from the other end of the street and Lexa nodded and turned to take on two more of Azgeda.

'You're far too soft, Clarke!' Murphy shouted as he finally plunged his blade through the chest of the warrior he had been fighting for the bets part of half an hour now.

'And you should have trained more!' Clarke called back, but seeing that she was clear from Azgeda warriors she made her way quickly back to Murphy and they watched as Lexa took down the two warriors.

'Clarke is right.' Lexa said and Clarke was amazed that Lexa wasn't even panting.

'I'm a survivor, not a fighter.' Murphy muttered.

'You cannot be one without the other.' Lexa quipped.

Murphy's retort was lost to the sound the brief screech of what sounded like a hundred high pitched horns coming from the other side of the city. There was another three sharp blasts of the horn and all around them, warriors let out a brief cry of delight while they fought.

'Yujleda.' Lexa said, in utter wonder.

'Broadleaf.' Murphy said, staring across beyond the wall of the city where the noise had originated.

Clarke's eyes were wide as she glanced across the city to. She could not see the warriors but the horns were the confirmation of their presence. She wondered how many had come, how many had been able to fight and how many were ready to fight for Lexa.

Clarke had barely had much interaction with the other ambassadors. They avoided Skaikru and once Clarke gave up her position as ambassador she had spent almost all of her time with Lexa. Still, she knew how Lexa was respected. While Azgeda took any chance it got to undermine Lexa, and the other clans would jump at the chance but only when it suited them, they largely recognised the strength and wisdom of Lexa. The only real issue of contention had been about Skaikru after all.

Clarke's heart soared. Even despite their own issues within their lands, Broadleaf had sent warriors from miles away. Lexa had sent some scouts out to the other clans weeks before but they had gone either alone or in pairs for the risk of being intercepted had been too high. The murmurings of discontent and threat of Lexa's continued existence from Polis must have stirred restlessness within the other clans too, who knew that Lexa could deliver far more than Soal. Lexa had been forced to hide for months. She'd lived in isolation, with her own people harboring resentment of the black rain but they still had not forgotten her. They had not forgotten her strength. This would be Lexa's day.

'Guess the Coalition's not dead after all.' Murphy smirked.

'Hey,' Clarke said in mock outrage, 'it never went. Skaikru and Floukru are here, remember?'

Lexa jumped forward and impaled a warrior that had lunged at Clarke with her sword. She pulled it out shot both Clarke and Murphy a glare.

'May we please celebrate once the battle has been won?' She asked.

'Whatever you say, Heda.' Murphy replied, spinning round and managing to actually stab an Azgeda warrior in the chest. 'See, mighty Wanheda. I can fight.'

Clarke rolled her eyes.

'That's one.'

'Two!' Murphy shouted as he charged into a slightly shorter warrior and then plunged his sword through them repeatedly.

Clarke blocked an attack from the nearest warrior and parried it with her sword. Her left leg stopped her from falling behind as she was hit with such force. The warrior pushed her sword forward and snarled in Clarke's face but she let out a howl as Lexa slashed her knees from behind and stabbed through her back, giving Clarke a reassuring smile.

'Thirty three!' Lexa shouted at Murphy.

'For fuck's sake. You always have to save the day.' Murphy sulked.

* * *

 

Soal watched from the throne room as the battle raged on in the city below. The main gates had been smashed and lay across the street. Warriors were fighting down every street and the artists' square looked little more than a ring for warriors.

Broadleaf were trying to climb the wall at the far side of the city. It would not take them long but the Azgeda warriors and those who had been summoned to fight (the population of Polis, including the guards except for those that occupied the tower) were more than holding their own. They had advantage of knowing this city intimately. It was a dog fight to the death. The warriors under Lexa were more skilled but they were outnumbered and Soal knew that they would be cast in the shadow even more at the fight at the border of Trikru. Nia had taught him that it was always the same; Trikru had a false sense of pride in their skill but it mattered not when the might of Azgeda was so great.

'Broadleaf are making progress.' The guard behind him said.

Soal turned around and the guard's gaze instantly dropped to his fingers and Soal resisted the urge to cover them. It would be weakness. That was all they saw him as.

'Once they are within range, release the mist.' Soal commanded and the guard nodded.

'You should give your head to the Commander.' Rosar spat.

He had allowed her to stay; he was not sure why when Rosar continued to insult him but there was some comfort in it. She did not pretend to hide her hatred.

'We are far from lost.' He answered; it was true: Nia would never give up power in this situation.

Rosar looked as though she wanted to argue but she refrained and the King looked at her quizzically. Perhaps she understood; they could not quit now. He had never wanted to come to Polis but his ambassadors and advisors had demanded it. Azgeda had hated Lexa and she was so weak after what had happened with the black rain. Her own guards had turned on her and were refusing to let her come back to Polis. Soal could not decline. He had been propelled to act by long held ambitions of Azgeda. They had demanded the death of Lexa and he had little choice but to see it through.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all :) Thanks for still reading and all of your comments and kudos! I live for them! 
> 
> I figured it would be a nice time to throw in some hope and also bring in another clan. There will be more from the battle around Trikru but there's just so much going on that some chapters will focus purely on one area at a time but I swear I have not forgotten anyone.


	95. Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

The Azgeda catapults showed no mercy. Huge slabs of stone were thrown into the air, wave after wave and Indra was forced to call for a retreat.

'Fall back into the forest!' Indra screamed. 'Fall back to the forest!'

The ground rocked every time the stones were plunged into the ground by the catapults. Most of the buildings had been shattered by the force of the catapults' attacks and rock and stone covered the ground. They were struggling to contain Azgeda. Their numbers had rushed forward and more bridges had been erected to combat the dry moat.

'Grenades!' Miller screamed.

Monty and Miller threw two grenades each at the nearest bridges and they shattered and ripped apart the Azgeda warriors. It still wasn't enough and more clambered forward to take the fight to them.

The guard and the grounder warriors around them scrambled back to the forest that was just outside of the small village they had used as the front line. The trees would provide some cover so they could regroup and try to hold the line against Azgeda. They had to find a way to keep Azgeda at bay and to keep them from cutting through to Polis and Arkadia.

Harper still remained on the roof firing the arrows relentlessly into the Azgeda warriors. Some broke through of the line of the rapid firing of the arrows and Miller tackled the nearest warrior but he was thrown backwards by the force of him. Miller was submerged by the sheer size of the warrior and Monty whipped out his shock stick and hit the Azgeda warrior on the neck. The warrior's body stiffened and shook until he finally lost consciousness but he collapsed on Miller who let out a faint grunt at his bulk and he struggled to emerge from under him.

'Thanks.' Miller panted as he struggled to his feet.

Miller was covered in mud. The rain had made the ground soft to the point that their feet sank with each step. Monty would be glad to get into the forest and at least get some cover from the weather and Azgeda's catapults.  

'We have to get out of here.' Monty panted.

Another boulder landed a few hundred yards away and Monty fell, with the force of it slamming into the earth, his hands outstretched and sinking into the mud. Miller roughly grabbed his back and hurled him back up. The last remaining of the grounders were hurtling to the forest as Azgeda advanced upon them.

Monty turned and watched as Harper continued to fire into the oncoming Azgeda warriors. He could not see her expression for she was ahead of him but he knew that her face would be set in that same determined scowl she had worn when she had faced the Mountain Men. Her hair was soaked and was hanging lank but her frame remained immovable against the weather and all that Azgeda threw at them all.

'Harper!' Monty screamed and she quickly turned with the weapon ready, clearly worried Monty was under attack. 'Get down! We need to fall back!'

Monty's fears that she may not have been able to hear him over the sound of war quickly disappeared when her expression turned to one of absolute fury. She stood resolute and he understood; if they gave up this position they would get the weapons that were too heavy to move, they would get that turret she was using and it would be so much easier for them to take the grounder and Skaikru fighters down and get to Arkadia.

'There's no choice!' Monty screamed.

Harper's jaw slackened slightly and there was a small nod of her head. She moved to the ladders that were still attached to the back of the building but there was a loud crash and Monty was thrown back into Miller and landed heavily on the ground, while rubble pressed into his chest.

He spluttered and gasped as dust clung at his lungs but he wrenched himself up, groaning loudly as he pulled the heavy rubble off his chest. He felt Miller stir beneath him as they emerged from the small hole of debris.

'Harper!' Monty screamed and he immediately descended into a bout of coughing as the dust clawed at his throat. 'Harper!'

The building was little more than a pile of rubble. Almost all of the ceiling had collapsed in and stone cascaded onto the street.

'Harper!' Monty screamed and he ran into the building that had been almost completely destroyed. 'Harper!'

He started hurling rocks and stones up desperately looking for her.

'Monty!' Bryan panted, running forward from Miller to try to pull him back but Monty threw him off.

'Harper!'

There was no signs of movement except for the falling rain against the rubble.

'Monty, we have to go!' Miller shouted.

Monty ignored him. He had to find Harper. She had to be in here somewhere but suddenly two pairs of arms seized him around the middle and he was hauled backwards to the forest. Monty fought as hard as he could and kicked out but he was partially lifted in the air.

'Harper! Harper!'

The Azgeda warriors swarmed at the moat and Monty watched as they made their way rapidly through the village and he was quickly pulled into the forest.

* * *

 

Kane, Wick, Raven and Niylah stood waiting in the grounds. Zoran had been sent inside, although Wick had to actually carry him in. Raven had winced at Zoran's screaming but they had no choice. The fighting in the distance was louder than ever.

Wick and Raven had both prepared the launchers. None of them dared speak and Raven wondered what any of them could possibly even say anyway. The noise of the battle was drawing closer.

'Kane, come in.' Miller said over the radio and Kane pulled out his radio and quickly responded.

'Report.' Kane said.

'We've fallen back to the forest. We're holding the line here but they could break away and get to Arkadia.'

'Understood.' Kane said, his glance flicking to Raven and Wick who nodded, 'any causalities?'

'Unknown numbers so far but we don't think many. A team of horses are on their way to you for those who need urgent care.'

'We'll be ready to accept them.' Kane replied.

'Harper-'

Raven shared a horrified glance with Wick.

'She's gone.' Miller finished.

Kane sighed wearily.

'Understood.' Kane said and put the radio back away.

Silence engulfed them once more. There wasn't anything more to say whenever someone died. They were all so used to it. Raven felt the loss of Harper keenly but she couldn't say she was surprised at this point. She'd long since known it could be any of them. She worried for Monty and what would become of him now. She scolded herself that she had some relief that it was only Harper that they'd lost and she couldn't help but feel disappointed that they had not heard from Murphy, Clarke or Lexa. It could well be that they were preoccupied with the fight or it could be far worse. If Lexa was dead then the war would already over but if it was Murphy or Clarke there would be little way to know...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all.
> 
> So no Clexa again but I promise whenever there's a Clexa free chapter I'll post something with them in either before or after so that way you get a daily Clexa dose anyway. As I've said, there's just a huge amount going on with the war and sometimes because of the shift in focus and tone it doesn't feel right just to add them onto the chapter for the sake of it. 
> 
> So have you all watched the s3 bloopers? Ricky Whittle's Twitter timeline does not seem happy and who can blame him? I have to say, I loved Whittle's Lincoln. I kind of feel I neglected his character when I watched just because of Lexa, Clarke, O, Anya, Indra and Raven were so fascinating (and yay for great women in TV) but Whittle was perfect as Lincoln. He really made that character his own. 
> 
> I accidentally wrote "almosty" in this chapter and I'm glad I realised but I kind of think that sounds like it should be a word anyway? 
> 
> PS I love Harper :(


	96. Purple Mist

There were loud footsteps nearby as the dust and rubble crunched underneath the Azgeda warrior's boot. Harper lay as still as she could and she shut her eyes. The pain in her left arm made her want to cry out but she stifled it and only emitted a small hiss which the warrior could not hear over the chaos that was happening throughout the forest. Harper tried to swallow but she ended up almost choking as her mouth was so dry and her tongue was coated with dust.

She heard footsteps once more and she squinted slightly and finally opened her eyes, where she saw the warrior advancing upon the forest. Her left arm was pinned by rubble but she used the right to get the slabs of stone off her body slowly but she couldn't budge the giant rock on her left arm. She checked the area but the Azgeda warriors were focused on making their way into the forest.

She reached down to her hip and pulled out the small blade in her sheath. It had been strange for her to train with one after Skaikru had relied on guns for so long but Indra had taught them all well. She hesitated for a second. Her hand and forearm were completely crushed. If she didn't get out of here she would likely be spotted. If she could make it into the forest she at least had some chance.

There was a low grunt and Harper looked up.

'Oh shit.' Harper muttered.

An Azgeda warrior had spotted her and was slowly making his way over from the moat he had just crossed. Harper slowly dragged the blade so it was partially obscured by the stone around her. The warrior pulled of his sword menacingly and made his way to her and Harper held up her free hand as if in surrender. She ducked her head as he advanced.

The Azgeda warrior stopped just before her and sneered.

'We have no pity for Skaikru vermin.'

'That's okay.' Harper replied, her voice hoarse. 'I've got none for you either.'

 She grabbed her dagger and slipped it through the base of his leg. He released a howl but before he could attack her she then drove it through his foot and as he fell in pain, she stabbed it through the bottom of his throat.

He fell, his breathing slowly dying as well as his body. The stench of his breath clung to Harper and she felt sick.

She checked around again but no other Azgeda warriors were around; she must have been unconscious for quite a while under the rubble because the sounds were loud from behind suggesting a raging battle in the forest.

She glanced down at the red soaked dagger in her hand and looked to her trapped forearm.

'Let's get this over with.' She said darkly.  


* * *

 

Luna sat at the centre of the hall with several Flokru children around her asleep. It was almost dawn. The boats were still coming in. She usually kept the boat traffic until during the daylight hours, especially when there was a storm but they had little choice. One of her guards came and sat opposite her.

'There's still a queue of people waiting to get on the boats.' Gorron said and Luna nodded.

'Any requiring treatment?' Luna asked quietly as a boy slept against her.

'No.' He shook his head. 'They're going straight to Arkadia. We're getting the over-spill of those who can walk.'

'You disagree with my decision?' She asked.

'Skaikru cannot be trusted.' He replied.

The rig was fairly full of people by now but they had floors below which were rarely used where people could be sheltered. It would hopefully not be long before the people could return to their homes. Luna did not miss the irony that while Lexa waged war, people fled to Luna for peace but she understood why.

'We are not trusting Skaikru.' Luna responded. 'We are trusting Lexa.'

'Lexa is in Skaikru's pocket.'

Luna thought back to the great Wanheda and the flash of gold on Lexa's hand. Clarke had argued with her once more but of course, that was to be expected.

'All of the clans say it.' Gorron pressed. 'It's that Wanheda.'

'Lexa loves, yes, but that is her strength. She has finally become the Heda that the clans have long needed.' Luna mused.

'And what if she fails?'

'Have patience, Gorron. The fight is far from over. We will stay here and care for those who need it. That is all we can do for now.'

* * *

 

There was the thundering echo of a charging horse and Kane was screaming for the doors to be opened. Monty slid off the horse and pulled Harper off, who was covered in blood.

Stretchers had been piled at the entrance so that the wounded could be carried inside Arkadia to Jackson. Kane and Wick lifted Harper and begun carrying her inside while Raven grabbed Monty. She chanced a look at Harper and forced down vomit at the sight; she had no left hand.

'What happened?' Raven asked, voice full of concern.

'I don't know.' Monty stammered. 'She was in the rubble and I heard her scream. We were just in the forest and then she was walking towards it. Her hand was gone. She fell and we grabbed her and made for the horses. Miller kept pressure on it while I got her up and then I just-I-'

'It's okay.' Raven said, seizing him in a hug. 'Jackson will save her.'

'She's lost so much blood.' Monty cried into her shoulder.

'I know, I know.' Raven said tenderly. 'But we've come through worse. Indra once got blown up and then shot and still she was off to war the next day. Harper's strong. She'll make it.'

'I left her.'

'You saved her.' Raven urged.

'She's all I've got left.'

Monty's voice broke over the words and Raven pulled back and gripped his shoulders firmly.

'Jasper once told me we've all got each other now. He was right. You're not alone. We will all get through this together.'

* * *

 

The two guards grunted as they made their way into the highest room of the castle, pulling a great pot of purple powder with them. Their faces were covered with thick tunics and their hands were gloved. They set the pot down in the middle of the small room. One guard opened a small hatch that was attached to a wooden beam that came half way down the ceiling and they both began to push the powder up through the shoot.

Even from this distance, they could hear the ragged screams of fighting below but they knew that would soon come to a halt.

It took them over fifteen minutes to fill the shoot so that it could not hold anymore. The pot was not yet empty but the King had doubted they would need to use it all. They closed the funnel and the stronger of the guards grabbed the beam with both hands and heaved it, so that it was pressed against his shoulder and he strained to push it in its small circle around the room.

He grunted and spluttered as it moved slowly but connected to it was the chamber of power and then a magnificent wooden wheel that stood just below the top of the tower. Where wheel was held, there was only the four stone corners that held the top of the tower but the rest was open air and the wheel contained numerous square holes and spouts all along its outside. As the guard on the floor below pushed, the wheel spun and plumes of the purple powder began to fall.

There were cries of shock and horror below as a purple mist slowly began to engulf the city of Polis. The rain made little impact on it as slowly it began to cover the streets around the tower. The rising orange sun was soon no longer visible as purple enveloped the capital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is Polis centric so don't worry; plenty of Clexa coming up (and I've started calling the dream team Clexaphy which makes me giggle every time and idk why). I know a lot of fans don't like twists of 'oh they're dead but actually they aren't' but 1) I love Harper and 2) she didn't exactly come out of it unscathed so hopefully it's worked out okay :) 
> 
> Also, huge, huge, huge thank you for the 500 kudos. This whole thing started as a challenge but it was kind of brought on by a friend who got sick of me complaining about season 3 and the direction of the show so he was all "well, let's see if you can do better" and I'm exceptionally stubborn so I had to try. This has given me certain targets though for the story and one of which was to get to 500 kudos on here, so thank you so much and I am going to be so smug to my mate later today.


	97. Under The Cover

Octavia ordered silence to the squad. She put her map away in the inside pocket of her jacket and stopped underneath a metal drainage hole. The tallest warrior stepped forward and he heaved the metal cover so that it was pushed onto the street. He then bowed and boosted Octavia up and she pulled herself through the gap and found herself on the wet streets of Polis. She clambered up and out of the way while the other warriors made their way to the surface.

She looked around but knew it was pointless trying to spot Clarke. She would likely be still at the other side of the city at this point but what Octavia had not expected was the amount of Azgeda warriors at the far side of Polis so that she was now situated in the middle of a battle of two fronts. She could just make out warriors battling with long blades in what she thought was a green battle outfit. It must have been one of the other clans but she could not see any clan signs from her position and she was stuck near the market, but less than half a kilometre away from the tower.

The sun was beginning to rise and they would not be protected now by the veil of darkness. As the squad emerged, Octavia advanced through the market and picked off the Azgeda warriors that were waiting in defensive positions to see which front advanced first upon the tower.

Her blades clashed with possibly the most muscular fighter she had ever seen. Her arm was thrown back with the force of his parry.

'Yeah, right.' Octavia panted impatiently; she had not run through those damn tunnels for nothing.

He thrust his blade at her but she dodged it and danced around him lightly but her speed was more than a match for him and with her blade she sliced his left arm, then right and finally plunged her sword through his gut.

'No shame.' She muttered. 'I learnt from the best.'

One of her squad called out and Octavia glanced to where they were pointing at the sky. Purple clouds were beginning to descend upon the city and Octavia hissed in annoyance.

'Take cover!' Octavia roared.

Octavia sprinted to the nearest market stall and slid along the floor under the table. She reached below her jacket and pulled the tarp around her face so that all she could see was darkness.

* * *

 

Lexa, Murphy and Clarke were making their way slowly through the city. The tower was less than a kilometre away and they kept making their way, between battles, through the streets and alleys of Polis.

Lexa kept an eye out for Clarke and Murphy throughout all of the battle. It had been several hours now and she worried that they would begin to tire. They had not been trained for such a situation and sure enough every so often Lexa would need to jump into one of their fights or push them aside to safety as they started to move slower and fresher Azgeda warriors sought to take advantage.

Many past commanders had waged war from the comfort of their throne but Lexa would never call upon her people to take up a cause she was not prepared to commit herself to. She had trained as hard as she could in case a day such as this ever came. She smiled ruefully that her old teacher who had hated Clarke with a burning passion, was the reason she was able to protect the Skaikru leader now.

'Okay,' Murphy said, panting as he and Lexa simultaneously killed the last of the Azgeda warriors along the alley they were stood, 'I've lost count.'

'We're drawing closer to the tower.' Lexa reassured them and Murphy raised his eye brows.

'See, Clarke, you can claim your bedroom back.' Murphy smirked and Lexa's lips quirked at the long running joke.

'We'll start with the throne room so we can get the rightful Heda back where she belongs.' Clarke retorted with a glint in her eye.

'Your motivational speeches  are better than Bellamy's ever were.' Murphy quipped.

Lexa's eyes flickered to Clarke but she did not even stiffen. Bellamy was usually a topic avoided under any circumstances but Clarke would never let anything phase her whenever they were facing a battle.

'Octavia will be at the market by now.' Lexa commented.

She watched a flurry of emotions briefly pass over Murphy's face. This was the first time he had stepped foot in Polis since Emori's death and knowing Octavia was now where she had died clearly pulled at him. One of the many reasons being out of Polis had pained her was that she did not know the fate of the bodies of those who died due to the black rain. She didn't know what tradition they had been put through. She knew traditions meant little to Murphy, and the Skaikru one of simply pushing bodies out into space seemed less than respectful, but she was sure it would have provided him with some solace if he had been allowed to spend a moment with her before she was put to rest.

'They may well make it to the tower before us.' Lexa continued.

'Hopefully. Makes it easier for us.' Murphy replied.

'We still need to push forward. There could be a hundred guards protecting the King and Octavia's team alone won't be enough.' Clarke urged.

Lexa opened her mouth to express her agreement but Clarke's suddenly fearful expression at the sky made her turn around. Purple mist was billowing from the tower. Clarke grabbed her radio and quickly warned the leading warriors who carried radios of this new threat.

Lexa grabbed both Murphy's and Clarke's hands and pulled them down the alley. She kicked down the nearest door and charged into the small shack. A man stumbled across the room and Lexa drew her blade and put it at his throat as Murphy slammed the door shut.

Clarke ran across the room and grabbed the blanket from the tiny bed in the corner and threw it at the man.

'Purple rain.' Clarke panted in explanation.

Clarke then pulled them all down under the table in the middle of the room as she, Lexa and Murphy pulled under their clothes. Lexa never failed to be astounded by Clarke's resourcefulness and none more so than in this moment. Lexa had warned Clarke weeks ago of the purple mist that Azgeda often used on Trikru during the wars. It was a tactic that had always kept Trikru out of Azgeda's mountain homes. It slowly led to suffocation and the skin was burnt, but not to the extremes of acid fog. Clarke had accepted this with a confused look but only for a second before suddenly she wore a small smile and rushed off to Raven and Wick. Within half an hour she was back with a plan. It was much simpler than needing to blow up turbines but given that clothes did not disintegrate, Clarke had reasoned that if they simply found good cover while the worst of the mist passed they would be able to withstand it. Clarke's plan was that they all wrapped small pieces of tarp and tunic around the waist and underneath their clothes so they could pull them out when needed, in much the same way the tents of Skaikru provided protection from the acid fog.

There were several sacrifices made; staying in cover would allow Azgeda to rush at them if they were well enough prepared and they still needed to find shelter inside because of the sheer thickness of the mist. It was overwhelming so they would not be able to make their way through the streets but would have to bunker down and this would allow Azgeda enough time to regroup and sure up their defences. There was little choice but unlike the mountain, the powder had likely run dry and this purple veil could not be used again. Even if some was left, it would not be enough to cause as much damage. The great advantage Azgeda had when they used it in the past was the cover and steep drop offs of the mountain. There were few places to hide but Polis was Lexa's and she knew how to optimise it in battle better than anyone.

'Acid fog, black rain, purple mist...I swear I prefer the good old fashioned way of people just trying to hang me.' Murphy grumbled as they waited, huddled together under the table and hoping that Azgeda would not suddenly burst through the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. So O and Clexaphy are back! I'd actually missed writing them for those two chapters :P


	98. Long Live Heda

They waited in relative silence apart from the odd shuffle from Murphy, who was clearly uncomfortable although Lexa could hardly blame him when they were stopped against the stone floor.

Lexa was sure she could smell the faint trace of the mist in the air but not much had entered the room for their was no coughing or spluttering. She calmly waited and counted in her head as the time went by. They'd been there for around ten minutes which was enough time for the worst of the mist to pass, at least with the way the weather was, but venturing out would still risk being an act that called upon death. There was no point moving until they were absolutely sure.

Clarke stirred slightly besides her and Lexa gripped the tunic and tarp in her right hand and gently put her left on the lower of Clarke's back to comfort her. She felt Clarke relax slightly and Lexa would happily admit that she would relish the moment when she would be able to free her sight and face again.

There was a bang and Lexa heard the sound of wood hitting the floor. She wrenched her tunic off and dove from under the table. Purple mist poured in behind the two masked Azgeda warriors but Lexa easily killed the first one with her blade. She lunged at the next but missed and she had to dodge, coughing as the mist made its way into her lungs. Lexa struggled for air but she clutched tightly at her sword and managed to parry the warrior's attack. He struck again and as she gasped for air she was certain he would finish her but he fell behind as Clarke tackled him and Murphy stabbed him repeatedly in the chest.

Murphy tried to pull the door up and the older man quickly came to his aid as they forced it to stand and block out most of the mist. Lexa continued to spluttered and Clarke was by her side in an instant, pulling her hair out of her face.

'Water!' Clarke demanded, through her own tunic which had remained in place although she roughly pulled it off as she examined Lexa.

The inhabitor of the shack quickly poured Lexa a glass and she took it from him, her hands shaking slightly and downed it. She coughed and spluttered after she swallowed it all and Clarke pulled her down to the floor but sat her up against the wall.

'It's okay,' Clarke soothed her, rubbing her back, 'you're okay. The mist isn't here now. You just need to steady your breathing. Breathe in on one, hold it for five seconds and then breathe out.'

Lexa focused upon Clarke's words and let them comfort her as she counted her breaths. Her breathing was still sharp and painful but she felt no fear and waited for it to pass. It was several more moments until her breathing was able to slow and her lungs felt less sore. Clarke gave her a soft smile as Lexa was able to finally open her eyes and her breathing was almost normal again.

'At least your face didn't get melted off.' Murphy offered and Clarke scowled at him.

'You can stay for as long as it takes for the mist to pass.' The man offered.

They all knew that they would have stayed anyway; there was no way they would be sent out into that but Lexa appreciated the sentiment. They had just barged a war into his city and into his small home.

Lexa sat and rested her head against the wall, giving a soft sigh with the pain a lot lesser than it had been a few moments before. Murphy dragged the two bodies to the far wall and dropped them unceremoniously.

'Let's hope some of them got caught in the mist.' Murphy remarked. 'And our fighters got out of the way.'

* * *

 

The King sat at a table that had been brought into the throne room, as well as an assortment of different breakfast foods. He chewed at great clumps of bread hungrily as Rosar sat opposite him and looked on in disgust.

'You may help yourself.' He said, with a full mouth but she simply looked horrified that he even had the nerve to speak to her.

As he finished eating and pushed the plate away from him one of his guards walked in and hovered nervously until Soal looked upon him.

'Your majesty, the mist is beginning to clear. It looks as though almost a hundred were caught in it.'

'Only a hundred?' The King questioned, stunned while Rosar smirked.

'It seems they had their ways to deal with it.' The guard replied. 'Some of them are beginning to emerge from where they hid.'

'Send the warriors that were sheltered in the tower out immediately.' He dismissed with a quiet fury to his voice.

He ran his fingers along his temple in frustration for a moment before slamming his hand to the table and swearing loudly so it hissed throughout the throne room. Rosar smirked.

'If the acid fog did not stop Lexa at Mount Weather, how would purple mist?'

'Our warriors still vastly exceed theirs.' Soal replied, stiffly. 'Reports have shown that they've pushed Trikru back into the forest. They will be at Arkadia within hours at that pace.'

Rosar sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, scrutinising him and he watched her curiously. Her hostility was nothing he hadn't faced before. His people had always despised him. He'd been happiest in the Dead Zone with just his mother but Rosar at least seemed to have a strong head. He was reminded of Nia and as contemptible as she was, she knew how to lead.

'Then action must hasten.' Rosar commented easily.

'What do you mean?' He asked, careful to keep the eagerness out of his voice.

Rosar barely smiled before she launched out of her chair. Soal was barely aware of being thrown backwards until the back of his seat slammed against the floor and he felt two boots pressing down against his arms as he tried to fight Rosar off.

His eyes widened in shock and he tried to kick otu desperately but Rosar was too strong and her body was so close to the top of his body his legs were useless. He looked to the guards at the door but they turned their backs to him and watched down the corridor outside.

Rosar's sneering face was barely an inch from his own and he saw the familiar look of hatred on her features.

'Long live Heda.' Rosar whispered.

Soal felt strong fingers grasp his throat tightly and he struggled again. The fingers tightened and he felt his throat being crushed. He closed his eyes and desperately tried to relax, feigning death but Rosar pressed harder than ever. She would not fall for it. His arms struggled under her boots and they pressed down harder and he was sure he would die with her boot-prints scarring his skin.

He looked desperately to her but her brown eyes were full of a hungry longing and he wished frantically that at the end he could see anything other than her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So the King is dead. Lexa missed out on a great show down there but there's a slight chance that things may still not go smoothly ... :P Yeah, *spoiler alert* get ready because nothing is ever simple...
> 
> Thanks for the kudos, comments and for reading :)


	99. Presenting the King

The trees of the forest shattered with the force of the strikes of the catapults. Indra urged everybody back. Azgeda had the momentum as they continued to charge forward and the Trikru, Floukru and Skaikru blended army barely had a moment to regroup let along take up positions. Azgeda had also made good work of breaking free from the village and had sent teams to flank the army. Indra cursed at the plan; she was sure that some would try to stifle the warriors between Arkadia and Polis to effectively cut Lexa and Arkadia off from any form of support.

Another warrior glanced a blow off Indra but she spat blood in his face before swinging her sword and decapitating him angrily. She felt outrage at the scars Azgeda had given her. The only ones she was proud to wear were the ones Lexa had given her, a reminder of what loyalty to the Commander meant. For every scar Azgeda gave her she would make sure to take at least ten of their lives.

* * *

 

The roars and crackles of fighting were louder than ever from the forest as they waited inside Arkadia. Raven and the others waited nervously, watching the trees. It was just barely daylight and so when one of their warriors stumbled back from the forest with an Azgeda warrior chasing them, they spotted it quickly.

'Raven!' Kane shouted from the tower where he was watching the fight. 'Fire!'

Raven and Wick each went to a launcher each and pressed their eyes against the small metal beams that protruded out. They had angles written on; Wick and Raven had tried to make some headway of trying to guide the shells without firing them purely on hope but Raven still trembled as she sat back to pull the launcher towards what she hoped would be the right angle. She prayed with everything she had that this would work as she fired. The shell flew through the air and there was a loud crack and boom as the trees were ripped apart in the distance.

Kane ordered the gates open as Wick fired his launcher too as their army were fleeing back for cover. As the gates opened, Raven could see the floods of Azgeda warriors heading their way. She fired the launcher again, after adjusting the angle and she took out a whole group of warriors that were making their way from the left of the forest. The shell had left a small hole in the ground with the grass scorched around it. One of the Azgeda warriors had survived but with two missing legs. His screams couldn't be heard over the rest of the fighting.

Raven was focused on reloading the launcher when she felt footsteps pound next to her. She glanced up, her eyes wide in horror as Monty charged through the open gates with anger marking his face; he wanted revenge for Harper.

'Monty! Stop!' Wick pleaded and Wick ran after him.

'Wick! We need you on the launcher!'

Wick heard Raven's screams and he halted just outside of the entrance but the distraction allowed an Azgeda warrior, unnoticed, to slam into him. Raven let out a scream of fury and charged towards them as Wick and the warrior struggled with each other.

Wick had thrown the warrior back but he was then kicked squarely in the chest and fell backwards as the Azgeda soldier dove on him and punched every inch of Wick he could find. Raven's hands were shaking with an indignant rage as she pulled out her dagger and dove upon the warrior, stabbing him repeatedly until his cries faded and then she heaved him off Wick who looked stunned.

'Get to the damn launcher.' Raven said, through gritted teeth and Wick could barely nod in response.

* * *

 

Clarke made sure Lexa's breathing was completely back to normal before they dared venture back out onto the now mist clear streets of Polis. They took a few tentative steps along the alley, as if expecting the mist to attack them again at any moment.

There was a low blast of a horn and Clarke looked at Lexa, puzzled; it was not one of Trikru's.

'The sound of retreat.' Lexa breathed. 'It's from the tower.'

They made their way back up through the alley until they were on one of the main streets of Polis. Azgeda had put away their weapons and the city was calm, except for the flutterings of nervous glances between the different warriors.

Lexa's radio echoed and she pulled it out.

'Heda,'

Clarke had to fight an audible groan and she glanced darkly at Murphy: Rosar. Murphy shared her same look of annoyance but they couldn't afford such animosity if Azgeda for some reason had decided to suspend the battle.

'The King is dead.' Rosar continued.

If Lexa was surprised she didn't show it but it did take her several moments before she responded and when she did her voice was as crisp and authoritative as ever.

'The body must be witnessed. I will not lead my people into a trap.'

Clarke smirked at Lexa's shrewd nature and distrust of Rosar and she couldn't help but wonder how Rosar was reacting to that.

'You will clear the tower too of all Azgeda warriors and guards who were loyal to the King.' Lexa finished. 'We will wait outside.'

Lexa ended the conversation abruptly and turned to Clarke and Murphy.

'This does not mean the battle is over.' Lexa warned.

'Good.' Murphy muttered. 'I'd hate to let Rosar live.'

* * *

 

Echo waited, bored with the other prisoners. She had been worried at first but after a few hours it had frankly grown tedious to watch everyone else battling below. She wanted to help.

One of the Skaikru guards was in command over them while a few Trikru warriors supported him. They had not bothered to speak at all to the prisoners but she could hardly say she didn't understand the distrust; she had after all, spat in Bellamy's face when they were both prisoners.

The guard's radio cackled to life and Echo heard as Lexa commanded him to get the prisoners ready. She was surprised when she was freed but none of the others were.

'Heda says you are a good mediator.' The Skaikru guard explained. 'Apparently now is the time to broker peace. Let's get your people moving.'

* * *

 

Octavia clambered rather ungracefully out from under the market stall as soon as she heard the horn sound the retreat from the tower and she pulled the tunic and tarp from her face. The rest of her squad made it from their hide outs and joined her. There were no Azgeda warriors attacking but Octavia felt uneasy and faintly annoyed at having run through those tunnels for nothing.

'What now?' One of her squad asked gruffly; he was acting as he second and was not happy about it.

Something wasn't right. The King had held out this long there was no way he would just give up that easily but before she could respond, her radio started to life and Octavia wondered just how many messages were being relayed back and forth between the fighters.

'Octavia?'

'Clarke?'

'The King is dead. Rosar has said the battle is over.'

Octavia didn't respond. She didn't trust Rosar and she knew Clarke didn't either but she wasn't sure it would be wise to voice any doubts over the radio.

'She's coming down with the King's body. We're waiting outside of the tower.' Clarke told her. 'This is an end to the fighting.'

Clarke signed off but something about Clarke's voice was clipped. She'd spent too long with Clarke. They'd gone through too much together and Octavia could read her too well. This wasn't a simple relay of information but a coded one.

'You stay here and watch the tower. Be ready in case Azgeda strikes.' Octavia told her second in the squad. 'I'm going to find Clarke.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all :) thank you so much for reading, comments and kudos. I'd give you all kudos if I could :P
> 
> Yay for Echo's return to the story. I know I didn't put Wick and Raven together as a couple but I really do love their friendship. They totally have each other's backs, which is quite refreshing in the world of the 100. 
> 
> I managed to get a poem published on my favourite site today so woo :) Which I have to say, has been more fun than having to write on the state of the Labour Party for most of the week. 
> 
> Is anyone paying attention to comic-con news? For those who don't watch the show anymore feel free to ignore this ramble but basically, I think JRoth has just screwed himself over again because he keeps harping on about how the Flame is important (oh and apparently Skaikru will split up too...wonder where he's getting these ideas from, ;) jk) but the problem is we didn't actually see Lexa die in the Flame so from now until the destruction of the Flame fans are just going to be able to say "where's Lexa?" because he didn't even give that a decent ending. They've ruled out Lexa totally for season 4...seems to be beyond that too but who knows. Maybe ADC will be back in the very distant future, maybe not but it highlights how much he's screwed the story over again by bad writing and also potentially even more queer baiting. He only really has like 4 moves for the future seasons: don't get Clarke with anyone out of respect for at least one season, put Clarke with Bellamy and watch the show burn, put Clarke with another woman to try to olive branch it to LGBTQ fans (JRoth's said he wants Niylah back anyway but too little too late for a lot of LGBTQ fans I suspect) and/or have Lexa in at least briefly with the Flame or flashbacks (but again too little and too late if it is post season 4). Those are really his only options and even they are unlikely to really rescue the show. It's annoying because pre 307 it had the potential to be one of the greatest scifi shows in history.
> 
> Also, Eliza Taylor slays all. 
> 
> And Whittle's American Gods sounds pretty good...


	100. When The Gates Burst Open

Clarke waited impatiently next to Lexa. Polis was starting to warm gradually under the sunlight and the rain had finally ceased. Clarke couldn't wait for this to be finally over and she glanced up at the tower where she knew the throne room would be. As soon as Lexa had returned as Heda they could get back to their lives.

Her eyes flicked around the city for any sign of Octavia. It was a hopeless endeavor. If she had understood the message then she would be out of sight anyway.

'They're coming.' Murphy said, nodding towards the foot of the tower.

The guards emerged with their weapons hanging loosely in their hands. Rosar was leading them and she didn't so much as have a scratch on her. They stopped a few feet in front of Lexa. Rosar bowed ridiculously low and Murphy actually snorted. Rosar glared at him but as she rose, she stepped aside and Soal's body was thrown roughly to the ground.

His eyes had not been closed and there were clear purple and red marks around his neck that even his beard could not hide. Clarke bit back a retort about blood must not have blood.

Lexa's eyes glanced over him for the briefest of seconds before she turned back to Clarke.

'I'll start treating to the wounded and organising with the other healers.' Clarke quickly offered and Lexa nodded.

Clarke smiled softly at her and pressed a quick kiss to Lexa's cheek.

'Welcome home.' She whispered and Lexa gave a shy smile but Clarke saw how overwhelmed with happiness she was that this had been resolved as her green eyes shone with emotion.

As Clarke made to move, her middle finger brushed Lexa's fingers and she briefly gripped them and then let go. She glanced at Murphy and gave him a small smile; he would have to serve Lexa and carry out her instructions to prepare the capital for what comes next, as well as organise aid to be sent to Trikru and Skaikru now that the battle had finished. Clarke had to at least get the medical situation under control here. Her mother had taught her something after all.

A glint caught Clarke's eye and she looked behind Lexa as Rosar slipped a shock stick from inside her sleeve. Clarke rushed forward but Rosar pressed it quickly to Lexa's neck and she passed out within seconds. Murphy let out a howl of outrage and both he and Clarke launched themselves at Rosar but the guards grabbed them and shoved them to the ground.

Clarke grunted as her head was slammed to the hard and still damp ground and she felt a boot being pressed against her head.

There was a scramble in the immediate vicinity and Clarke heard the sounds of ragged cries and groans. Clarke could only see Lexa's unconscious face in front of her. She didn't quite look peaceful but she did not stir. Clarke struggled but the boot ground down on her head and Clarke whimpered in pain as her face pressed roughly against the rough stones of the street.

'Just kill the ones here!' Rosar cried. 'The rest of Trikru do not need to know. We will still work with Lexa so there is no point resuming a battle for Polis.'

Clarke seethed at Rosar's duplicity and at her own foolishness for not killing her before. She knew that Rosar would lead to nothing but death.

'Make sure they are tied up.' Rosar said. 'Then the ceremony can begin.'

* * *

 

'Stop!' Echo commanded.

'What the hell are you doing?' The guard hissed but she pulled him around the corner.

The guard had allowed her to advance further ahead of the rest of the prisoners. Everybody was nervous by the brisk end to the war. It was a lot easier when the enemy was simply all dead. Too much could go wrong with double dealings and sly tactics when peace was presumed but not assured.

'Look.' Echo urged, her voice hostile.

They both looked ahead to the main street and Clarke and Murphy were being dragged away with an unconscious Lexa.

'Keep the prisoners back.' Echo ordered, but the guard grabbed her wrist.

Echo spun and elbowed him in the face and she took off after Rosar slipping silently down into the main street but she gasped when she was slammed into the wall of an alley.

'Be quiet.'

'Octavia?' Echo questioned.

Octavia let her go and stood back with her hands up.

'They have Lexa and your friends.' Echo told her quickly.

'I saw.' Octavia said darkly. 'And we're going to follow them.'

Octavia didn't look at all as though she had been in a fight but she certainly appeared ready for one and Echo had to hold back a small smile.

'This will likely end in your death.' Echo warned.

'What about you?' Octavia fired back at her.

'I'm Azgeda. My blood won't be spilled.'

'Yeah,' Octavia scoffed, 'tell that to your king.'

* * *

 

Zoran stared out of the windows of Arkadia as the battle carried on. One guard fell from the tower at the gate as an arrow ripped through him and Zoran gaped as Azgeda started to climb over the walls.

He fled through the corridors. A guard tried to grab him but he turned round and swiftly kicked him in the shin before flying through the exit. He sprinted through the grounds but Azgeda were descending from the wall. Niylah was being beaten by two and Wick dove on them. Raven kept furiously firing shells from the launcher as people battled around her. She was so focused she either didn't notice or didn't care about the warriors advancing upon her.

'Raven!' Zoran screamed and Raven looked back in alarm.

She turned to where he was pointing but it was too late as she was suddenly kicked back.

Wick was still desperately fighting his own warrior and Kane tried to climb down the tower but one of Azgeda grabbed him by the legs. Raven was struggling frantically but the Azgeda warrior threw Raven's knife to the floor.

Zoran ran forward and grabbed it quickly and he charged, screaming at the warrior who held Raven. He sliced through the warrior's skin time and again as the Azgeda warrior sunk to the floor and let go of Raven. Zoran kept stabbing and Raven grabbed him. He turned and stabbed again in shock, narrowly missing her and he dropped the knife as she pressed him to the floor.

'It's okay.' Raven panted. 'It's okay. You're okay.'

Raven let go of him and let him sit up gingerly. His hands were shaking and Raven went for the knife and held it gently. Zoran couldn't look to the warrior but he saw the blood that was covering his own hands and he fought the urge to cry.

They both glanced to Wick but he had finally thrown off his attacker and Kane and Niylah had fought off their own enemies too.

'We need to get you back inside.' Raven said, as guards continued to struggle to contain Azgeda.

Zoran wanted to protest. He didn't want to leave Raven or Wick again but he found he could hardly speak and Raven understood, holding out her hand and he accepted it as she pulled him up.

'You did good, kid.' Raven reassured him.

'They're charging the gates!' A guard shouted from the tower.

'Shit!' Raven hissed.

Zoran found himself being thrown back and he was slammed against the dirt with Raven on top of him as the gates of Arkadia burst open and Azgeda poured in. Raven struggled to get off Zoran with her leg less reactive, and Zoran barely held back a scream as warriors surrounded them. Raven spun and stabbed at their legs but the ones behind grabbed Zoran. There was a low grunt as Zoran found himself flying once again and he looked and saw Wick punching the warrior that had just tackled him. Zoran turned back when a scream rang through Arkadia and Raven was lifted in the air and the warriors carried her out of Arkadia.

'Raven!' Zoran screamed. 'Raven!'

He ran but an Azgeda warrior easily tripped him and laughed mercilessly. Zoran pulled himself up to run after Raven again but the warrior laughed and kicked him back down. Zoran looked desperately but he could not see Raven or even a hint of her red jacket among the warriors outside of the gates.

'Ready to die, boy?' The warrior mocked.

'Don't you dare touch him!' Wick screamed and he ran from the body of the warrior he had just defeated and jumped in front of Zoran wile Azgeda warriors continued to make their way into the heart of Arkadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo all. Thanks so much for continuing to read this thing and for all your comments and kudos. :):)
> 
> The kind of resolution/end to the situation right now in Polis is where I envisioned the season finale to be. It's still a few chapters away but thought I'd mention in case it provides some kind of understanding to the structure of this thing. There is another season after though so it is not the end. Hopefully you'll enjoy what is coming up as it's very difficult to follow bringing everyone back from the dead in the City of Life...but as a memory and not actually real. That whole thing was confusing now I think of it :P It's a lot more raw than that as obviously the sci fi stuff has kind of taken a back seat for this (what would be a) season.


	101. Ascension of Power

Clarke struggled in vain against the Azgeda warriors as she was dragged into the small holding room beneath the city. Her body was aching with fatigue and the Azgeda warrior barely had to grip her harder to keep her still. She tried to glance behind her but she was shoved roughly against the wall as her hands were chained to the wall.

'So glad to be back here.' Murphy drawled from her side as he was tied up next to her.

The Azgeda warrior stepped back and Clarke pulled against the metal cuffs and chain but it was no use. She turned around and saw the unconscious form of Lexa tied to the other wall. Rosar stepped closer to her and stretched her hand out.

'Don't you fucking touch her.' Clarke spat.

Rosar smirked and turned to face Clarke.

'The mighty Wanheda, as brave as ever but what exactly can do you, Clarke?' Rosar cooed. 'You see, you are out of options.'

'Really?' Murphy questioned, with a smirk of his own and just months ago Clarke would not have believed the sight would ever have given her hope, as well as a little pride. 'Because what's your plan? The second Lexa wakes up she will want to kill you for knocking her out and tying us both up.'

Rosar's eyes flashed with a delighted menace as she regarded him. The soft glow of the torches made her look even more hungrily ambitious. Her clothes were perfectly composed and Clarke could have wept at how they had handed everything Rosar had wanted. They had supplied her with access to the King after all and she had taken one of the guard's shock sticks. Skaikru weapons were still coming back to haunt them and it seemed whatever situation Rosar was in, even when she had been a prisoner contained to Arkadia, she turned it to her advantage.

'Dear Lexa has not assumed command again. Right now Azgeda still rules.' Rosar smiled. 'But don't worry, I will allow the transition of power to Heda.'

'Let me guess, you want something first.' Murphy snapped.

'Very good.' Rosar sneered. 'But then you aren't unintelligent, simply worthless.'

Clarke's eyes were latched onto Lexa. She was beginning to stir slightly. Clarke strained against the metal cuffs again but it was still hopeless. Lexa hung, held up only by her arms but her knees could not reach the ground and Clarke was rather reminded of when she had found Lexa at the drop ship. She'd had her vengeance then and she vowed she would now too.

Clarke turned her head to Rosar when she felt her gaze upon her features.

'The new order can only flourish once Skaikru has been erased from the land. It is no more than a stain that demands too much from Heda.' Rosar said. 'Of course, Lexa would never do such a thing herself but once it is done she will be left with the duty to her people, and as much as she may dislike the decision there will be nothing she can do except to resume her leadership. Lexa has always been dedicated.'

Clarke was sure, as she stood in the dark stone holding cell that smelled of damp, that she had never wanted to kill someone herself more, except perhaps Ontari. Murphy's face seemed to mirror her own disgust but Rosar stood as proud as ever, so close to achieving all that she had ever longed for.

Behind Rosar, Lexa was still unconscious. Her stirring had been momentary and Clarke grew slightly worried, although she was well aware of how the shock sticks could knock someone out for quite a while.

'What ceremony?' Murphy finally muttered and Clarke looked across to him, surprised; she'd forgotten what Rosar had said outside.

Rosar tilted her head, regarding him with a small smile and when she spoke her voice was lighter than Clarke had ever heard it before.

'To slay Wanheda,' Rosar explained, 'to take her power.'

* * *

 

Indra dodged through the forest and into the open, rushing towards Arkadia as shells exploded around her but there was another great blast and she dove on the ground, rolling over and struggling to stand. She spat at the ground in annoyance. Lexa had specifically warned Skaikru about those damn things.

Miller and Bryan were following closer behind her as they headed back to Arkadia. Indra charged when she saw three warriors swarming around Kane and she took them down within minutes.

'Thanks.' Kane panted.

Indra looked around at Arkadia. There were no more than a dozen of Azgeda inside the grounds but there were fifty or so fighting around them. Wick was struggling with a young boy who was hysterical next to him, as Wick tried to fire the launchers. The grounds themselves looked far worse for wear and more of Skaikru had come out to fight and plenty of their bodies lay strewn upon the grass.

'Call the warriors back inside and when Azgeda follow we will use the rest of the grenades.'

Kane nodded and called out for Skaikru to fall back. The Azgeda warriors advanced and Miller and Bryan threw two grenades each at the gate. There were four small explosions and the gates of Arkadia were almost blown off, hanging delicately on their hinges and groaning, sounding in as much pain as the dying warriors.

'Get everyone who can fire a bow up at the wall.' Indra ordered. 'The rest of us will have to cut off the rear of Azgeda who are trying to make it to Polis or Lexa will find herself in the middle of two fights.'

'Indra,' Kane said quickly, 'there's something wrong at Polis. Octavia radioed. There was meant to be a ceasefire but war is still raging on the outskirts of the city.'

Indra nodded gravely.

'It will no doubt be another one of Azgeda's tricks but we fight for the Commander until our last breath. She is our hope.' Indra stated.

'What if she's dead?' Kane asked, his voice laden with worry. 'What if Clarke-'

'They are both strong,' Indra reassured him. 'I know you feel responsible for Clarke but she is not a child. She's more than capable of looking after herself.'

'This is war, Indra!'

Indra couldn't help but feel some pity. She had failed. She was supposed to provide the front line so that Azgeda could not over run them and push this far back but Azgeda had always outnumbered them. So many of Skaikru had either joined to fight in Polis alongside Clarke or had stayed hiding inside however, instead of choosing to defend their home. She recognised their fear but this was the reality of life on the ground and Skaikru still had not accepted what that meant.

'Yes, Kane, it is.' Indra stated shortly. 'But let me ask you, if Lexa lies dead will you now follow Azgeda?'

Kane's brow furrowed and he sighed heavily, shaking his head.

'Abby wanted peace but Azgeda want our deaths. That can't be allowed to happen.' Kane replied.

'Then you know what must be done so let us do it and have this finished with.' Indra retorted; ready to get back to the fight.

If they defended Arkadia and regrouped they could attack what was now the rear of Azgeda and they would be enclosed by the fighters around Polis, and by those advancing from this position. Azgeda's ambition would once more be its downfall and Indra would give her life to see it done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, enough of you said you wanted Skaikru to be wiped out ;) So now Clarke and Murphy are at Rosar's mercy (not that she has any) and Arkadia is facing Azgeda...let's see how that turns out for them.
> 
> Honestly, writing this fic has made me want Clexaphy to get their own spin off show. 
> 
> Thank you for your kudos, comments and for still reading this now quite long fic :P I'm so happy so many of you have stuck with it given that I've gone quite hard at times and it's been pretty dark. Any predictions for what's coming up in (what would be) s6?


	102. Sacrifice

There were smashes of rock that tore through the forest and Wick looked across at the tree line in confusion. It could not have been the one launcher he was manning. He hadn't even reloaded.

'The catapults.' Indra breathed. 'They've taken control of Trikru's defences. They will have to use the roads. It will take them longer to get here.'

'Oh, what a relief.' Wick muttered angrily.

Under Indra's guidance they had managed to retake Arkadia but she admitted it was also now probably made easier as Azgeda were falling back to ready the catapults to launch a final assault on Arkadia. Kane quickly summoned everyone except the guard inside while there was a brief respite and Wick followed him into the mess hall, pulling a distraught Zoran with him as Indra quickly followed.

Silence wracked through the hall the minute Kane came in to address them all. Fear seemed to cling to the walls and it was clear that many were regretting their decision not to go to Luna.

'Azgeda are preparing their second attack,' Kane told them but he held his hand up for silence when there was an outcry of fear and rage and silence quickly swept upon them once more, 'but we will not be here for them when they arrive.'

There were looks of horror and surprise on everyone's faces and Wick shuffled uncomfortably. His arms were around Zoran who was barely listening; he just wanted to find Raven. He didn't care about any of this and Wick's heart ached for him.

'Azgeda are determined to see the destruction of Skaikru, they want our resources and then to regroup here and launch an assault on the rear of our warriors who are currently fighting for Polis. It is imperative that we do not let them achieve this goal.' Kane stated firmly.

'You said we were giving Arkadia to them!' A voice from the back shouted.

'No, I said we were leaving.' Kane said calmly. 'All those who do not wish to fight will be escorted by some of the guard to the drop ship. We cannot now make it to Floukru; Azgeda will intercept us. Azgeda will be focused upon Polis after they have taken here and there are defences there in place so it is the next safest option.

'I implore all of you to search for what you know is right in your hearts. We can run and hide from this fight but we know too well that another one will find us tomorrow. Lexa is the one who can provide us with any sort of future. Fight for hope, fight for your people.'

Wick stood a little straighter at these words, thoughts of Raven occupying his mind. Azgeda had sought to attack them and kill them. They had insisted upon no mercy. Taking Raven meant no sense except unless they knew that she had value. Rosar had acted as spy for Lexa, perhaps she had acted as spy for Azgeda too. Clarke and Raven had occasionally crossed Lexa's path when she first started working with Rosar. Rosar would know of Raven's intelligence, perhaps even her work around the Flame.

If Raven had value then she would almost certainly be on her way to Polis. It was the place that Azgeda had deemed worthy to risk dragging their thousands of warriors out of the snow and mountains. It was where there king was taken but Wick's heart sunk at the thought that perhaps that's exactly why they would take her to the mountains, where it was so impossible to try to launch an assault so they could take whatever it was they sought from her without threat.

Wick saw little more than fear on all of the Sky People. They looked even less inclined to fight than ever before and Wick felt sick at the sight of them. They demanded the blood of others time and again but they would never personally sacrifice anything to do what was right. He felt hatred for all of them. Raven was gone because of them.

'My people have weapons and armor still for those who wish to fight. You will fight for the pride of the Coalition.' Indra called out and her voice seemed to echo around the halls. 'Azgeda will not expect yet more soldiers to pour into Polis. This is our moment for glory.'

'What about when they take here?' Someone called out.

'This is our home!'

Kane held his hand up again but even Wick could see that the silence that fell this time was clearly one heavy with resentment.

'Azgeda will not simply be taking our home.' Kane said, with determination. 'We will not be leaving Arkadia without its own defence. When Azgeda steps inside of these walls, they will be met with fire. Azgeda will be wiped out and they shall never command Arkadia.'

Wick looked stunned at Kane.

'Now get ready. We leave in five minutes. Two groups: one to Polis and one to the drop ship. Anything you carry may slow you down so whatever you take, if it is of sentimental value then make sure you are willing to die for it.' Kane said and he turned away from the shocked crowd and walked over to Wick.

'You want me to blow them them up?' Wick said, aghast and Kane actually managed a small smile.

'I suspect Raven will be jealous when she hears about it.' Kane said. 'We will get her back, Wick but the only way we can do that is by finishing this war.'

'By blowing up our home?'

'Jackson is taking the medical supplies to the drop ship. The engineers are stripping everything they can.' Kane said. 'But we don't need this place. We came to live on the ground, not stay confined in the Ark. There's a whole world out there, Wick. Arkadia doesn't have to define us. Giving up our home for peace can be the greatest thing we've ever done.'

'Or we've given our enemies everything they wanted.' Wick replied seriously.

'It is a gamble.' Kane admitted. 'But I still think Lexa, Clarke, Octavia and Raven are worth it. Don't you?'

Wick didn't need to answer; it was a truth they would never doubt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys....I didn't think I'd actually get any chapters up today at all as I've had a very sick dog and had to fly around the vets. Honestly, dogs are far better than children (and most people really) but they are so stressful when they're ill :P
> 
> Hope you guys like this chapter. I know it's a bit ...bold(?) to blow up all of Arkadia but it felt right. It was also really nice to have a chapter focused on Wick and Kane. I love Clexa, Raven, Murphy etc loads but they're really great characters to write too and Kane has had such a tough time of it but he just quietly gets on with everything. I'm sure it's his beard of wisdom...
> 
> Thank you so much for comments, kudos and for still reading this fic :)


	103. Scattered Soldiers

Wick worked frantically while everyone was preparing to leave. The job would not take too long. The walkies were already set up to send signals to alert any trigger due to their radio frequency and Raven had made several bombs which Lexa had forbidden her to use. Gun powder was then poured through the corridors by an eager Zoran and the children who had bullied him only weeks ago as they were so keen to help. It was while working so nimbly to blow up his own home, that Wick truly recognised the genius that was Raven. She had prepared for everything. She had come up with the plans for the weapons, she had readied bombs in case Azgeda made it this far backwards, she had managed to design the walkies so that they were far more than just mere objects for soldiers to communicate. Wick had always respected her capabilities and when they had worked together to access the City of Light, he had noticed firsthand just what her upgrade post ALIE had really meant but standing here without Raven and carrying out her plans made it hit home just how much they had all needed her and a rush of nausea threatened to overwhelm Wick; that was precisely why Azgeda had taken Raven alive. Her intelligence and upgrade was why she was taken, probably to be tortured and it was the thing that put her in danger however, it was also hopefully keeping her alive right now.

Wick had never known the people of Arkadia to move so quickly. Monty had rushed to medical to help move Harper and Wick ordered Miller and Bryan to pack up what they could of Clarke, Lexa, Raven and Octavia's belongings so they didn't get blown up. It was not just out of sentimentality (although Wick shuddered at the thought of facing Clarke once she had realised her sketch book had been blown up), but given how well he knew those four he suspected that a lot of their belongings may come in useful. It's not as though any of them ever packed with the prospect of a vacation in mind.

The corridors boomed with the rushing footsteps and Wick would have been convinced there was about to be a stampede ay any moment had he not been sure he would shock every single Skaikru member himself if they risked disruption to where the bombs were being rigged.

The gates creaked open in protest as Skaikru readied to leave. Wick gave a sad glance around engineering for one last time. He had been in awe of what they had managed to create here but maybe Kane was right and they could make something better if they truly lived on the ground, but the only way that could happen is if they got Raven back.

* * *

 

Lexa was now wide awake and Clarke could see her fury at the situation. If Clarke hadn't felt such hatred for Rosar in this moment she might have felt sorry for her given the roaring rage behind Lexa's green eyes. Rosar had briefly disappeared but when she returned it was with a blade that held the etchings of the symbol of Azgeda upon it and the smuggest smile upon her face yet. She had also changed her outfit; wearing a long grey cloak over her warrior outfit, although her armor had been disposed of except for the shoulder pads. Even Murphy stilled at the sight. Clarke's hands however had strained against her metal cuffs but out of a furious longing to be able to fight back against Rosar. She would never be afraid of that woman.

There was one guard that had remained who had served Lexa. In Rosar's absence Lexa had tried to reason with her but she had not listened. She blamed Skaikru for all that had gone wrong and Clarke couldn't pretend to be surprised. A lot of Lexa's guards had muttered about their relationship. Lexa herself had even smirked at their murmurings but now that seemed determined to try to haunt them.

'Are you ready, Wanheda?' Rosar asked, her voice attempting to be menacingly quiet but Clarke ignored it.

Clarke could feel Murphy's eyes on her and no doubt it was because she was so calm. Lexa had not moved to make a sound, although guards were near her clearly ready for her to try something.

Clarke closed her eyes momentarily and let the tranquility wash over her. Lexa's voice whispered to her, urging her of what to do and Clarke slowly opened her eyes, her gaze fixed over Rosar's shoulder onto Lexa. Lexa gave the briefest nod of her head- it was barely a jerk of the chin -that went unnoticed by the guards and Clarke's eyes latched on to Rosar's.

'I am, Rosar.' Clarke said, in a low but smooth voice. 'The question is, are you?'

Rosar's eyebrows shot up in confusion but Clarke and Lexa jumped up in unison, their hands straining against the wall when there were pinned and they both wrapped their legs around the nearest of the guards and each snapped their necks simultaneously. Rosar jumped too quickly out of the way but Murphy launched himself as far as he could to give her a swift kick and she fell back.

The two remaining guards went to try to control Lexa but she kicked out so that one fell back and she hoisted herself again to snap the other guard's neck with her legs. Clarke and Murphy struggled against where they were chained and Clarke's wrsists were cut by the metal; her skin throbbing painfully.

'Clarke!' Murphy shouted and she turned in confusion.

Agony tore at her stomach and she twisted, kicking Rosar back. Rosar's billowing cloak whipped her legs as she fell back and the Azgeda leader gripped a bloodied knife. Clarke spluttered and hissed curses. Her top was slowly stained with red and Clarke looked at the inch long wound, deep enough to cause immense pain but she hoped her kidney had been missed. Her mother could not save her now from any injury and Jackson was miles away.

Lexa tugged rapidly at her chains as the remaining guard remained down on the ground, his eyes closed and his head pouring with blood from where he fell.

Clarke's eyes never left Rosar's blade and Rosar slowly took a step towards her.

'I will enjoy this.' Rosar promised.

Rosar's voice was dripping with hunger for Clarke's blood and for the power of Wanheda.

'You'll never get the chance.' Murphy retorted bitterly.

Rosar's eyes lingered on Clarke with a delighted twinkle for a moment before she turned to Murphy.

'And why is that?' Rosar practically sang.

'Because of me!' Octavia called angrily, jumping into the cell and throwing her sword at Rosar.

Rosar dove and thrust her small blade so it met the sword and disposed of it roughly across the cell. Octavia's face was contorted in fury and she launched forward. Clarke screamed in warning but Octavia slammed into Rosar and forced the blade away from her body. Echo ran in and grabbed the keys from the unconscious guard and quickly set about trying to release Lexa.

Rosar punched and kicked but Octavia slammed her head against Rosar's with such force that Rosar's head hit back off the floor and blood pooled the stone floor. Rosar's eyes were dazed and Octavia's hands went straight to Rosar's throat and she forced her grip to strengthen as Rosar's eyes bulged.

Octavia smirked in triumph but Rosar's leg swung up and her knee came under Octavia's hip and flipped her. Octavia cursed and scrambled up but Rosar kicked her in the face so she fell back down with a grunt. Rosar turned on her heel and sprinted out of the cell and Octavia struggled to stand but before she could give chase after her Lexa commanded her to stop as Echo freed her. Lexa instantly rushed for Clarke and Octavia looked furious that she had not been allowed to chase her prey.

Clarke's knees buckled when Lexa freed her but Lexa's arms were around her in an instant and lowering her to the floor. Octavia took the keys from Lexa and freed Murphy. Clarke was vaguely aware of the movement around her as the room went black for a second and the voices were dull and lifeless but she blinked quickly. She had to focus, and she heard Lexa's voice urging her to stay awake from both inside the cell and inside her own soul and Lexa's face swam back into focus. She felt Lexa's hands stroking her hair tenderly and Lexa's eyes were alive with supreme worry and for some reason, Clarke fought an outrageous smile.

'I'll be fine.' Clarke promised lightly. 'I don't think she hit anything important. It's just blood loss.'

Lexa's face did not demonstrate that she had at all been reassured by these words.

'Octavia,' Lexa commanded, 'take Clarke out of Polis to the healers. They can take her straight to Arkadia if she requires it.'

'No!' Clarke protested, struggling to sit up but Lexa held her firmly back down. 'I won't leave you!'

'Clarke,' Lexa soothed, cupping her face, 'this fight is over for you. You must go with Octavia and get treatment. You know it's right.'

Lexa's face was softer than Clarke had ever seen it and there was a gentle sparkle to her green eyes. It hardly seemed possible that this was the same Lexa who was about to go off to finish her war with Azgeda. Clarke didn't want to leave her and she tried to sit up again but Lexa did not even have to try to stop her this time because Clarke gave a soft cry in pain at the movement.

Clarke had to concede Lexa had a point. Even trying to sit up had reduced her into a sweat and she could feel her body draining and growing weaker by the second. She doubted she'd be able to stand let alone hold a sword and Lexa needed to focus. Lexa always let her make her own decisions and Clarke knew Lexa deserved the same in return but she prayed that this was not a fool's choice and that she was not letting Lexa charge to her death.

'Don't you dare die.' Clarke warned, her voice slightly weak.

'I won't if you won't.' Lexa promised and she pressed a soft kiss to Clarke's lips and then her forehead.

'Wait,' Clarke protested once more.

Lexa stilled immediately and looked down upon at Clarke in concern.

'Take Octavia.' Clarke insisted. 'Let Murphy stay with me.'

'Mildly offended.' Murphy muttered.

Lexa's eyes never left Clarke but her a small smile graced her lips.

'Clarke, you need a warrior for an escort to make it out of the city. I trust Murphy with my life, so you should too.'

'I promised I'd take care of her.' Murphy reminded and Clarke actually snorted.

'We'll see.' Clarke muttered.

'Clarke,' Octavia said quickly, 'I'll get you out of here.'

Clarke stiffened slightly but Lexa's fingers once more ran through her hair and she let out a soft sigh before she looked at Octavia. Octavia seemed desperately uncomfortable but her jaw was set. Lexa had made up her mind that she could trust Octavia with this task and Clarke found herself seeking Murphy and he nodded slightly.

'Let's get the hell out of here.' Clarke relented.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So my dog is out of the woods but still very sick so my week has gone to hell as I'm having to look after him constantly so I apologise if there are any delays with updates this week! 
> 
> So Octavia is going to look after Clarke, Lexa is going to try to fight Rosar to the death, Raven is missing for some reason unknown and Wick is about to blow up Arkadia...see nothing to worry about (as Lexa would say) :P
> 
> Thank you for always for your comments and kudos! I read and treasure all of them :)


	104. All Good Things

There were creaks and groans as the stolen Trikru catapults were rolled down the road to Arkadia. The air was much too quiet. The only noises around were the grunts and catcalls of the Azgeda warriors who were looking forward to finally laying waste to an enemy they regarded as nothing more than vermin.

Skaikru had at first been seen as something perhaps beneficial towards Azgeda. They were locked in a bloody war with Trikru. Anything that made Trikru weak made Azgeda stronger, but the technology and the sheer force of Skaikru's will had alarmed even the Ice Queen who had quickly begun to realise that Skaikru were better off dead- even if that meant leaving Trikru in peace. The plan however, had backfired; the Queen had never anticipated the strong alliance formed with Trikru nor Skaikru being welcomed into the Coalition.

The bond between Skaikru and Trikru had allowed for one simple war instead of two which was some consolation to Azgeda. Trikru had been weakened substantially too; they had lost Anya, Indra had deserted her post and by the time she wanted to take it back the black rain had fallen and the Coalition had shattered. Azgeda's fortune had turned in recent months and even a weak king had not stopped them.

The rain started to fall gently as they approached Arkadia again. The lead Azgeda warrior glanced at the sky. There were only a few grey clouds again so it would not be heavy but the temperature of the lands was beginning to turn. It was not quite as cool at this time of year as it had been in the past but the rain was more frequent now yet it was not something to fear when Arkadia would soon be theirs to fight off the winter.

The catapults slowly lined up as Arkadia was just sighted in the distance. They drew closer until they were just out of range of any arrows but there were no attempts at any shots. The warriors looked to each other nervously. It was much too quiet.

'Hold up!' The gruff voice of the leader called and he clambered upon the tall catapult and pulled out a cracked pair of binoculars.

He smirked as he saw the gates of Arkadia damaged, and clearly not closed.

'The scum have fled!' He shouted. 'Arkadia is ours!'

There was a cheer that could be heard throughout the forests for several miles. Blood had been denied blood but Azgeda had claimed a prize they had desperately sought for months, at far less a cost than they had presumed it would take.

There was a race to get to the gates which were not treated with any care or respect as they were ripped further open. Several warriors climbed upon then and pulled them free from their hinges and the doors were strewn across the land. The bodies of the dead that had been left were greeted with as much disrespect as all of the property of Arkadia. They were thrown and kicked and jeered. One warrior picked up the body of a woman who had been in the guard and pulled back her hair and pretended she was a puppet to his jeering and laughing fellow fighters.

The lead warrior ignored their antics and ordered people to get inside and start stripping the place and to see what they could use. This could be an ideal stop over point for Azgeda. It was close to Polis and yet was on the border of Trikru territory. If Polis remained theirs then Trikru would almost be completely surrounded. They had won. Trikru would bow before them or they would meet death.

The warrior stepped inside Arkadia, his wet boots trailing mud across the metal floors. He was slightly unnerved by the sound of the footsteps on the metal. It was cold and chilling. The metal world of Skaikru had never appealed to him. It was too artificial; he would take his home in the mountains any day.

The fluorescent lights flickered and he grunted his displeasure as he walked through the corridors and checked each room. Skaikru had attempted to take what they could. Clearly with the amount who had been killed, those who were at Polis and the amount of items that could not be moved they had not succeeded in that task but the resources around had been depleted. Clothes, screens, even boots were scattered across the floors. It was a pathetic fight and thus fitting for Skaikru.

He turned into the biggest room that had dark screens all across the back wall. He walked to them and tapped them but nothing happened. They had been powered from somewhere so he would not be deterred. He searched along the backs of the monitors and even the floor but he could find nothing of importance. He stood up straighter and turned back, a small jay with red liquid and a black box sitting on top was sitting on one of the chairs at the bench. He stared quizzically at it before walking to it. A red light flicked on at the top of the black box and he could not mutter in confusion before explosions began to burst through Arkadia and metal was rained across the lands of Trikru.

* * *

 

Wick watched from the rear of those travelling to the drop ship as there was a loud boom through the forest and black smoke billowed into the sky from where Arkadia once lay, the radio was loose in his hand.

'You did it.' Zoran breathed, looking up at him in amazement but Wick only had eyes for the place he had thought of as home.

'Yeah, I did.' Wick said, his throat tight.

'Are we going after Raven now?' He asked, impatient.

'No.' Wick sighed, finally looking to him. 'We don't know where Raven is and if we leave the group the Ice Nation won't struggle to kill us. This war needs to end so we can save Raven and once Clarke and Lexa are finished with it they will help us find her. Clarke will know what to do.'

Raven had always had faith in Clarke. He prayed that trusting Raven would work once more.

* * *

 

Octavia panted heavily as she carried Clarke over her shoulder. She was ready to fling Clarke aside and take up fighting if she had to protect her. The fighting had resumed at full force. Any illusion of peace had been shattered. Lexa had used the radio to command the other warriors and the war had resumed but with even more anger from Trikru at having being duped by Azgeda. The resumed battle was not making it easier for Octavia to carry Clarke. Clarke kept squirming and either shouting in pain or of oncoming danger that Octavia had already spotted and was prepared for and they had to keep diverting their route to avoid the worst of the fighting. Octavia was beginning to think it would have been quicker if they'd gone all the way through the winding tunnels but then she'd probably would have had to deal with even more complaining from Clarke.

As they approached the outskirts of the city Clarke gave a particularly sharp cry of pain and Octavia dodged behind a wall and gently laid Clarke against it so she could check on the wound. Octavia ignored all of Clarke protestations as she pulled her her top up and examined it. It was still oozing blood so Octavia pulled off her jacket and ripped off the sleeve of her own shirt so she could wrap it around Clarke's waist to keep pressure on the wound and to try to stop the bleeding. She was reminded faintly of when Clarke had to fix her leg on their first day on the ground. It felt like another lifetime ago.

There was a thud to the side as in the next street a Trikru warrior was thrown down a small set of steps by the force of an arrow that had struck him. Octavia turned back to Clarke and pulled her top back down, before putting her own jacket back on.

'We'll be at the horses soon.' Octavia said, but her tone was rather flat.

'You should leave me.'

Octavia looked at her startled. It was not the words; she had expected Clarke to try to say something heroic but Clarke's voice was unusually small and vulnerable. Clarke's eyes were bright with pain and Octavia clenched her jaw. She had to get Clarke out of here.

'No chance in hell.' Octavia spat harshly, hoping that would see an end to the matter.

'You want to.' Clarke murmured.

'Of course I don't. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.' Octavia snapped.

'It should have been you.' Clarke muttered quietly. 'He should have picked you.'

Clarke wasn't looking at her. Her eyes kept fluttering closed. The wound would likely not be enough to kill unless it had snagged one of her organs but the pain and blood loss was making Clarke weaker by the minute.

Octavia opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. She didn't know what to say. Clarke probably didn't know what she was even saying right now. Clarke hadn't wanted to speak to her at all recently.

'Come on, I'm getting you out of here.' Octavia insisted, and she pulled Clarke up again and turned back to the edge of Polis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all :) So the next chapter would be the last in this current 'season' just to give a bit of context. I hope you like it as I kind of...well, let's just say it turns out a bit differently to how I think even I expected it to go. :P 
> 
> I wrote the very last scene for this fic today (I jumped ahead a bit as I'm only like 3 chapters ahead and this is so far down the line) but I did get a tad emotional. It'll be weird when this little project is over. I did actually come up with a dozen ideas where JRoth could have gone with the 100 but I stuck with this one as it was the closest to the canon plot so I felt it proved the point a bit more. I may start another one but honestly, there's no way I'm doing all of them :P I think...no...I will show will power :P
> 
> Anyway, cheers as ever for all of your kudos and wonderful comments. I hope you've enjoyed the ride so far. There's still another season to go!


	105. Where Hearts May Shatter, Hope Can Still Rise

Lexa, Murphy and Echo fought their way through the crowded streets. There were more Azgeda warriors than ever before. They scuttled out of every hole and crevice of Polis. The air was thick with the swinging blades and crammed bodies pressed into battle along the streets. Many of Azgeda however, had either fled or switched sides, particularly those who had been forced to fight because they had lived in Polis. They were not loyal to a clan that laid claim to them simply because the King needed people to line up to die and they were easy to spot; often in poor and wrongly sized armor and clearly trembling with fear due to their own inexperience in war. The residents of Polis had spent their lives sheltered from battle and didn't know what to do except to try to survive.

Lexa had radioed all of her warriors and told them to resume fighting immediately but the time spent in the false truce had allowed Azgeda to regroup. Rosar had fled to the tower but that would not protect her now.

Broadleaf warriors had pushed through and a few were now in the heart of the city battling with Trikru. Lexa's eyes flashed with pride at the sight of them. Some of the clans were not yet lost and old friendships had not been forgotten.

'Murphy, stay close!' Lexa called behind her shoulder while she battled three warriors with the ease and elegance that Anya had drilled into her.

Her old mentor had longed for Trikru's pride to be restored. Lexa had known that when she had become Heda, Anya had been the most proud. She swore she could feel Anya's spirit with her now and guiding her to make sure that the rightful Heda was returned to the throne.

'I know what I'm doing!' Murphy said, dodging a blow by one warrior and then stabbing him through the heart with his dagger.

'Hardly.' Echo retorted as she took down two warriors who were charging at an unaware Murphy.

Murphy looked up at Echo briefly and gave a sarcastic smile.

'I would have had them.'

'You should have left Octavia.' Echo said to Lexa.

Lexa took down the three warriors and rolled her eyes at them. Echo was an asset but she couldn't help but appreciate it whenever her subjects remained silent. Echo's presence had at least managed to initially confuse the warriors. They had not closed in on Lexa, believing Echo to be on their side and have the upper-hand but that allowed Lexa and Echo to kill all the warriors they crossed easily until they realised.

The remaining Azgeda prisoners had been faced with the same choice as Echo: to fight for or against their own clan. Many had not forgotten that Lexa had offered them shelter and treated them far better as prisoners than Azgeda ever had to those of Trikru who had been captured. The prisoners who had been treated by Abby almost all had chosen to be loyal to Lexa and had rushed to try to come to Echo's aid as Echo shouted instructions down the streets to carve a path to the tower for the Commander. It was clan against clan, Azgeda against Azgeda and it was what Lexa had always wanted to avoid: a civil war between the grounders but they had been left with no alternative.

They pushed forward so that the base of the tower was now in sight but there was a flurry of warriors before it.

'Push! Push towards the tower!' Lexa ordered her warriors around.

Warriors scrambled all around. Archers even clambered onto any roof or small foothold they could find to try to take down the guards. They stood on window ledges and on top of fallen market stalls. Arrows and flaming arrows began to fill the air and once or twice Lexa's warriors narrowly avoided being hit in the close combat battle.

As Lexa fought one of her old guards in the street, trying to push him back her eyes noticed a ripple through the Azgeda crowd before them and a group of warriors was surrounding one who was hauling a sack that was over four foot in length and packed to the brim, with purple powder spilling out onto the stone floor.

'The mist! We need to stop the mist!' One of her warriors called.

All of her archers changed their targets. If the mist got to the tower they may all be suffocated. Arrows then burst into the sky and over the heads of the fighters, plunging down into the Azgeda warriors at the base of the tower.

A flaming arrow hit a guard near to the warrior carrying the powdered mist and Lexa froze in horror. The guard she was fighting took advantage; punching her in the face but Lexa jumped back and parried his charging attack before stabbing him through the gut.

'Stop!' She screamed at her archers. 'Stop now!'

The archers surrounding her immediately halted, at their own cost as Azgeda used their own archers against them but not all of Trikru had immediately heard as the street was crammed with fighters dueling. The warrior was now at the entrance to the tower and Lexa looked around wildly for someone with a spear. Lexa did not have a chance to call out as a flaming arrow from the west flew and hit the warrior carrying the sack of mist. His gave a gruff grunt. Lexa watched, completely still and her eyes wide as his knees buckled and he began to fall, his hands still gripping the sack.  

Lexa threw herself backwards on top of Murphy as there was a deafening explosion. Rubble was sent flying in all directions and Lexa was soon coughing dust. She never got a chance to ask Murphy if he was okay before he was pulling her to her feet, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging slightly open in terror.

A large part of the base of Polis tower had crumbled. All of the side they were facing looked as though it had suffered the brunt of the explosion and the tower groaned in agony as its own weight began to threaten to topple itself.

'Shit.' Echo hissed.

'Fall back!' Lexa screamed. 'Fall back!'

Murphy grabbed Lexa and pulled her back towards the outside of the city. She, Echo and Murphy charged for their lives. They heard the tower shuddering against itself even as they passed several different streets, trying to put as much distance between them and the tower as possible.

There was chaos throughout Polis. Everyone was desperately trying to get away. Everyone knew they must flee. Those who had hidden in their homes, hoping the war would pass were suddenly throwing themselves out onto the alleys so that people were tripping over each other. Lexa would not have been surprised had several of them been crushed to death.

Lexa did not dare stop. She kept checking on Murphy but he was keeping up, step for step. His lack of training was no hindrance; his sheer will to survive this was urging him on. People were shouting and crying as they fled. The stone flooor beneath their feet seemed to vibrate in warning.

There was a piercing crunching sound that could have crushed Lexa's heart and her legs trembled as she heard the rush of the stones falling across the city. The thuds reverberated through the city as the falling debris landed on market stalls, healers' tents and people's homes. Lexa, Murphy and Echo did not stop as everyone else around seemed to slow and turn, not able to resist watching as the tower fell to pieces.

There was a roaring rush of air as the tower began to quickly collapse and Lexa, Murphy and Echo were thrown roughly to the ground as dust and debris swallowed the city whole. Heda's tower had fallen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say a *spectacularly huge* thank you to everyone who has read this story so far. Everyone who continues to plug it on Twitter and give comments and kudos. You guys make this such fun. I really love whenever I get a ping on my email (esp when I'm meant to be doing something dull) of a new comment or a new kudos count. 
> 
> I know a lot may not like the end of this particular 'season' (for want of a better term to describe it) but it felt fitting that after all of the blundering into wars, it was a foolish blunder that ultimately would end one. Plus, they've all been fighting over that damn tower for so long it made sense, particularly with Rosar inside. This is not the end of Polis though as we shall see. A lot of people did get away because of the war, which made a lot flee or be away from the heart of the city. Arkadia and Polis have both had a pretty rough go (one is lost forever) but who knows...this could be the start of them all beginning to realise just how much they need peace. 
> 
> I don't know if anyone can guess the shape of the plot to come. I've not left too many hints tbf but you shall get some very soon. It's going to be a bit different. It has to be; the bloodshed can't go on between the clans forever. Lexa's too strong a leader for that to happen anyway. 
> 
> *spoiler* Also, because there is certain stuff coming up, I just want to again assure you that neither Lexa or Clarke are going to be killed off. I'm staying true to the promise and the purpose of this fic was to show that any story can be made without needing to resort to the bury your gays trope. They will, as ever, face intense times but I swear they are safe. They're about the only ones though :P


	106. From the Ashes

Flecks of dust were carried on the breeze so that Polis looked as though it was once again engulfed in mist, but of a very different kind.

There were faint screams across Polis but they were far less loud than before the collapse. Lexa groaned and then spluttered, coughing painfully from the dust that had dried out her mouth. She rolled herself over and felt herself being pulled to her feet. Murphy's face swam into focus and she felt his hands on her shoulders. His mouth was moving but it took her several minutes before she could decipher what he was saying.

'Are you okay?'

Lexa nodded and looked around, dazed.

Echo was standing near them looking completely shocked. Dust stuck her face more vividly than the white war paint of Azgeda. Murphy was covered in dust so that barely his eyes could be made out. His hair looked a pale grey and Lexa was sure she looked little better. She turned back to the centre of Polis and her breath caught.

The skyline was empty. The tower had gone but far worse than that was the absolute damage wrought across the city. There were piles of rubble. People's homes had been completely buried. The only positive was that thanks to the battle, a lot of people had already moved out of the vicinity of the tower.

'Arkadia was blown up too.' Murphy said quietly. 'When you were out, I radioed Kane. They made sure they took out the Azgeda army that was assaulting Trikru in the blast.'

Lexa nodded at the news. She couldn't believe Skaikru had willingly sacrificed so much. Kane had proved Skaikru's dedication to the Coalition but also to Lexa. It was because of Lexa that Kane had any faith in peace. If the only option was an Azgeda commander then the dream of peace would never have existed.

Lexa wondered, with a pang, how Clarke would take the news. Worry ebbed at her stomach. When she was unconscious she had not felt Clarke. Usually in any sleep or unconscious period she would be greeted straight with Clarke, even if Clarke's mind was clearly focused upon whatever her form in this life was doing at the time. The silence was more troubling than Lexa could have imagined. Clarke was connected via the secondary Flame but there was no reason why Clarke should not be present any longer. The Flame was the answer to the question of a commander's mortality. Clarke should always be present. Lexa needed to get to her. Something was wrong. Clarke had seemed convinced that the wound was not deadly but now Lexa had no way to know for certain that Clarke was okay. The only option was to leave and find her.

Several soldiers in green approached Lexa and she nodded to them. The lead warrior stood at the front and halted before her. Lexa recognised him instantly. Dellire was a lean and skillful archer who usually had long blonde hair but now it was matted with dust. He was also a respected adviser to the leader of Broadleaf and often put in charge of supervising any major activities. Their leader must have been killed if he was now standing before her.

'Organise healer tents to be set up, outside of where the dust and rubble lie. The healers need a place to work. Use one of our radios to contact Jackson of Skaikru and he will work with you to provide aid. Organise teams to search for the missing.' Lexa informed them, her voice hoarse.

A guard stepped forward and handed Lexa a bottle of water. She swilled it around her mouth before spitting out the dust and then handed it to Murphy, who did the same.

'What of you, Heda?' Dellire asked in concern.

'I am fine.' Lexa dismissed. 'Echo will assume control of Azgeda until their delegation arrives. They have obviously been crushed. Given the events, the delegation will be here within a matter of ours. They will take control and organise a full retreat. There will not be any meetings until Polis has been restored and all of the clans need time to recover. Echo can catch up with us then.'

'Where are you going?' Echo said quickly.

'The situation here is fraught but at least there is a plan. Arkadia has also just been destroyed, as well as a good part of Trikru. I need to check on them.' Lexa replied. 'Broadleaf will maintain security and I have given clear instructions.'

Dellire bowed respectfully and ordered his warriors to get to work. He departed and Lexa watched as he made his way into the heart of the city. Groups were already forming to pull rubble back so they could begin to try to rescue the people who were trapped.

Lexa's eyes flicked back to Echo who had been watching her closely.

'You should be helping your people.' Lexa said tiredly.

'So should you.' Echo retorted and her next words seemed offered very much in spite of herself. 'Just make sure Octavia is okay.'

'She's always been particularly talented in looking out for herself.' Lexa replied icily.

Echo threw her a dark look and left to round up the Azgeda warriors.

'We're going after Clarke, aren't we?' Murphy asked, but with a smile.

'Of course we are.' Lexa replied, looking to him.

'Echo has a point. Your people will be pissed.' Murphy pointed out.

'As I said, I left clear arrangements and we do need to assess the status of the other clans too.' Lexa replied smoothly. 'I thought you would relish the opportunity to leave Polis and for a chance to see Raven again.'

'I'm not complaining.' Murphy smirked, holding up his hands. 'It would just be nice to avoid yet another civil war because people are pissed at you.'

'People are always angry at their Heda. Get used to it.' Lexa replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Lexa, Murphy and Echo all live! I know some may have wanted a character death but I've been pretty dark at times so far so I thought I'd give them just a little bit of a break :P Although, no, I am not going through a dark period like Jason. I am just naturally a bit twisted with my stories ;) 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, comments and kudos. Esp for that last chapter as I was very worried about it. I knew you'd all love Arkadia being blown up but the tower might have been a stretch too far :P


	107. Your Fight is Not Over

Raven gave an irritable hiss when she was thrown the the ground. She'd been dragged from Arkadia by two Azgeda warriors and they were on the muddy road to Polis. There was banking on either side and she lay back on it, her leg stretched out and she massaged it gently.

'That's from the Skaikru settlement, I'm telling you.' The most annoying warrior spat.

He had muttered nonstop, complaining about carrying her to Polis. Raven had suggested he could put her down whenever he liked but that only got her more threats of violence. His head was looking back in the direction of where black smoke was on the horizon. Raven felt inexplicably trapped; Arkadia was burning but before them there were white plumes in the air on the horizon from where Polis was. She thought of Wick and Zoran at Arkadia but Murphy, Clarke and Lexa at Polis. The rest of her friends were who knew where, scattered throughout Trikru thanks to the battle. Even if she hadn't been with these idiots, she wouldn't have known where to turn to first.

'Good.' The other warrior spat.

He pulled a bottle from his belt and took a greedy gulp of water. Several droplets ran down the corners of his mouth and spilled to the ground. Raven glared at him. She knew better that to bother asking for a drink herself.

She needed to find a way to get rid of these two but there was no chance she could run and she eyed their swords warily. She'd seen enough of Octavia getting the crap kicked out of her at Arkadia to know that she'd stand little chance taking them on in a fight with no weapon.

'It is not good.' The annoying one retorted hotly. 'We were supposed to take the settlement. Not burn it to the ground.'

A furious protectiveness ran through Raven. Arkadia would never fall to Azgeda.

'Roasted Skaikru sounds fair to me.' The other replied menacingly and Raven swallowed nervously.

'We need her alive.' The annoying one said, reading the tone of his companion's voice.

'Triton, you know the only good Skaikru is a dead one.'

'You heard Rosar. She was telling Azgeda information for months. This one is useful.'

Raven seethed. She'd known not to trust Rosar. They all had but they were trapped with few options. They had to find a way into Polis and that meant gambling on Rosar or they'd all still be stuck scrabbling around, trying to make a life out of scraps with raider attacks every other damn day. Clarke would be spitting blood by now, Raven mused, but if she had the chance she'd take that kill from Clarke but Lexa would probably beat everybody to it. If any of them were still alive, she thought bitterly.

'We don't even know if the King is dead yet.'

'It matters not.' Triton replied. 'Rosar was led into Polis with the other prisoners. She'll find a way to be able to control things, same as always. Rosar said this one had value so we keep her alive. What do you think will happen if we kill an asset that could help Azgeda?'

'Fine.' The other sighed. 'But I want a break before we drag this one back into a war zone.'

He glanced at Raven who gave him a smirk, with hatred behind her eyes. She would make sure she would enjoy the trip to Polis.

* * *

 

Kane stood at the gates encircling the drop ship. Everyone had been transported successfully. Indra had led a team to fight off those who had survived the explosion at Arkadia. It was mostly the injured who remained and a few trusted guards to watch over them. It had seemed that Skaikru had finally chosen which side they were on.

It was raining lightly and Kane fought back a shiver. He was already growing tired of the wet weather. Once the battle had finished they would need to build more than a wall but buildings and shelters. The drop ship might be enough for an engineering post or perhaps even a medical facility but it would not be enough to house them all in the long run. Some of Skaikru may even wish the leave. The borders may never be as fixed as they once were before the black rain fell.

'Sir,' Miller said from behind and Kane turned around to face him.

Miller looked completely weary. His face had a few cuts but otherwise he had come out of the battle relatively unscathed but he'd been anxious about Harper since he had returned to Arkadia and helped escort them to the drop ship. Harper had been unconscious since Jackson had received her but he'd managed to control the bleeding and make sure the amputation was clean.

'Murphy has just updated us again from the walkies. The tower has fallen.' Miller said, his face taut with stress.

'It fell?' Kane questioned in disbelief.

Murphy had first tried to contact but Kane could barely hear him. There was so much screaming and the signal had interference. Kane had tried to shout over the noise about Arkadia to warn Murphy not to return but he didn't know if Murphy could even really make sense of it. If the tower fell then that would have at least explained it but yet it still seemed to defy logic. The tower was the most protected building on the ground. It had been the symbol of peace, of safety, that something beautiful could be built on the ground.  

'There was an explosion.' Miller said. 'Lexa's fine. Azgeda have surrendered and they're trying to sort survivors. Broadleaf and Echo are currently helping navigate everything.'

Kane nodded slowly.

'Indra should be returning soon then.' Kane muttered, almost to himself.

'Sir?' Miller prompted.

'We can't move our medical supplies and Jackson and Nyko are needed here. Let Broadleaf and Echo know we will accept anybody who need help however. Now there is a truce we'll also send the guard to help clear Polis.'

Miller nodded.

'Are you okay?'

'I just can't believe it's over like that.' Kane admitted.

'At least there's peace now.' Miller offered. 'That's good, right?'

Kane gave a half smile, tears pooling in his eyes as he thought of Abby.

'Yes, it is.'

* * *

 

Octavia's feet dragged along the forest floor. Clarke was slung ungracefully over her shoulders and Octavia was cursing every bit of bad luck she had experienced since landing. The tower had fallen. It didn't seem possible. She didn't even know if Lexa was alive. The only good thing was that Azgeda had either fled or stopped fighting. Octavia couldn't go back with Clarke like this. She'd thrown a sad glance back at Polis and turned her back on the city; she had to get to Arkadia but it was some time later when she saw the black smoke on the horizon and she swore loudly. She needed to get Clarke to Jackson or Nyko and they were probably both dead.

She had little choice but to carry on through the forest and to try to find Nyko or Jackson. She followed the road but stayed on the outside of the banking in case she passed any of Azgeda. Clarke had grown quiet save for a few incomprehensible mutterings. Every so often, Octavia's wrist would grab for Clarke's to check for her pulse whenever she went quiet but each time it seemed that silence was just Clarke's way of trying to recharge her energy for sure enough within a few moments she would start again, and her breathing would be heavier.

Octavia carried on, her legs feeling heavy from tiredness. She had never missed her horse so much. She wondered where Indra was and how the battle across Trikru had gone. If Arkadia was no in flames then Azgeda must have broken across the border.

Thoughts of Indra urged her on but she stilled when she heard a familiar voice swearing loudly.

'Raven,' Clarke muttered quietly and Octavia swooped down on the bank and hurled Clarke off her shoulders.

Octavia crawled up to the edge. Raven was being carried by one Azgeda and another was with them. Octavia slid back to Clarke and nodded. Clarke was still weak but at Octavia's nod her eyes flooded with determination but Octavia put a hand firmly on her shoulder.

'I can handle this.' Octavia said and she silently pulled out her blade.

Octavia climbed back up to the edge and watched them moving slowly. Raven was still cursing and Octavia smiled; Raven was a pain in the ass so if they didn't need her she would be dead already. That made things easier.

Octavia threw herself over the edge and slid down to the other side and called out to the warriors who spun around.

'Octavia!' Raven said in shock but Octavia smirked as the one who was not carrying Raven pulled out his blade and advanced.

Octavia dodged his first attempt to strike and parried it away with her blade. Their blades crashed together several times but Octavia smiled into his face. She  pushed her blade into him so he jumped back and swung it round, nicking his side. He grunted and swung his own blade at her but she crouched down so it swept over her head and she rammed her sword into his gut.He sunk to his knees with a faint smile and she jerked her blade out and kicked him to the floor.

'Skaikru scum!' The one carrying Raven screamed. 'I will kill her!'

'No, you won't.' Octavia said defiantly, her eyes never leaving his even as he threatened Raven. 'You need her or you'd have killed her already so either fight me or run and hide like a coward. I don't have time for your games.'

The Azgeda warrior looked as though he would like nothing better than to rip Octavia limb for limb but she smiled at him too. She winced however, when he dropped Raven roughly to the ground and she swore, clutching her leg.

The warrior advanced, his eyes lost to everything Octavia and he pulled out his blade.

'Jus drein jus daun.' He spat.

There was a clash of blades and Octavia found him to be far stronger. Each time their swords met she struggled not to be forced back slightly and her hand ached from how tightly she had to grip her blade. She dodged and danced around his attacks when she could; her training with Echo and Indra serving her well. He spat on her face when she tried to push him back.

'Charming.' She muttered before matching each of her strikes with a blow of her own.

Octavia managed to keep pace with the fighter but the Azgeda warrior was showing no signs of wearing down. His leg swept forward and Octavia reacted instantly elbowing him in the face to stop his movement so he wouldn't trip her. The blow merely glanced off him and he grinned but then his mouth dropped open and he gave a ragged breathe, a quiet moan meeting Octavia's face.

Octavia's eyes narrowed she watched in surprise as he sunk down to the floor and fell flat on his face with a sword protruding from his back.

'Bastard shouldn't have dragged me from Arkadia then.' Raven muttered, standing behind his body.

Octavia's face instantly split into a smile.

'Nice work.'

'Thanks.' Raven smiled back. 'Didn't think I'd see you here.'

Octavia opened her mouth but then closed it as there was a dull thud behind her and she spun around quickly. Clarke rolled down the bank and Raven's eyes widened as she saw the blood staining Clarke's clothes. As Octavia turned to face Raven she was met with a ferocious punch. She stepped back and struggled to maintain her balance and before she could register what was happening she found herself jumping back to avoid Raven's swinging fist again.

'What did you do to her?' Raven demanded angrily.

'I didn't do anything!' Octavia shouted indignantly. 'It was Rosar!'

Raven halted with her fist swung back and her face was contorted in calculations over which version of events would be more likely but Clarke gave a groan and Raven quickly made her way over, but her leg slowed her movements. Raven and Octavia  crouched next to Clarke and she looked at Raven.

'You're okay.' Clarke smiled.

'You're not.' Raven replied grimly. 'We have to get you back to Arkadia.'

'Sounds good.'

Octavia picked Clarke back up and Raven gingerly got to her feet again.

'Don't think this is done with.' Raven warned in a quiet voice and Octavia gave an annoyed sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all :) No idea what time zone you are all in but hope you're having a good weekend wherever you are! Thanks so much for your comments and kudos. I'm getting addicted to watching the numbers for each go up on this thing. I'm about as obsessed with it as Clarke was with the Flame! 
> 
> This was actually a surprisingly lovely chapter to write. I've not had a Raven, Octavia and Clarke scene for a while now. It's usually just two of the three. I know Clarke was out of it for a large part but it was still pretty fun. They've got such a lot of history between them that they can change from feeling quite happy to see each other again to wanting to punch each other in the face in a second. Plus, they're all constantly evolving too. It's not really a static connection that they experience because they're always been challenged by the unfolding events on the ground. I think Raven is probably the most consistent because she was the quickest to accept what life on the ground meant and she tends to focus on the problems rather than the ideas of morality, whereas Octavia had a habit of idealising things (and still does) and Clarke has a habit of attacking herself and letting everyone else have a go at her too. But enough of my rambling, who do you love to see scenes with? Obviously Clexa wins every time ...I hope...or this fic has spectacularly failed :P


	108. Touching Distance

Indra pocketed the radio. So Azgeda had surrendered. The war was done. She looked out over the battlefield over the Azgeda warriors that her team had just killed. Azgeda had not managed to sound their retreat in the chaos of what had happened in Polis. There was now the bellow a horn in the distance but it reached the last too late.

Indra looked across at the smoldering ruins of Arkadia. There was no fire, a few embers burned the grass but that was it. All of the metal looked scorched and it had been blown across Trikru. Even most of the gate enclosing Arkadia had been scattered across the land. Indra felt no pity but pride at her Skaikru allies. They had finally come to a place of unity.

* * *

 

Harper croaked as she woke and Monty was by her hammock in an instant. He held the hammock steady and pressed a bottle of cold water to her lips and she gulped from it eagerly. She lay back, blinking heavily for a few moments before clarity seemed to return and Monty tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

'Hey,' He said softly.

'Hey,' she greeted with a small smile.

'Are you in pain?' He asked and he looked around for Jackson at the other end of the drop ship.

'I'll be fine.' Harper said, but it was with a grimace.

Monty turned to get Jackson but he felt Harper's hand grip his wrist and he turned back to her, confused.

'Just let us just stay like this for a minute. No drama. No fighting.' Harper said softly.

Monty nodded and though his back was to Jackson he kept searching out of the corner of his eyes to make sure he wouldn't disappear regardless of the fact the main exit was almost opposite them so there was nowhere he could disappear to.

'Are you going to fill me in?' Harper asked, after a small silence.

'Oh,' Monty stuttered, taken aback, 'there's peace. Azgeda surrendered.'

'About time.' Harper smiled and bitterness rose like bile in Monty's throat; if Azgeda had surrendered earlier then Harper's left hand wouldn't be missing and she wouldn't be in agony now.

His eyes slowly rolled across her, to where her left arm was resting and he winced at the sight of the bandages and her stump. He felt sick that she'd had to go through that alone, buried in rubble in the middle of a battlefield.

'Is Clarke back?' Harper asked, breaking through Monty's thoughts.

Monty shook his head.

'The tower fell in Polis. Lexa's fine but Clarke's awol. Murphy said she was on her way back to Arkadia but that's gone now...'

'She'll be okay. It's Clarke.' Harper assured him but then her eyes seemed to flicker with recognition at her surroundings. 'Why the hell are we back here?'

Monty's mouth hung open for what felt like a whole minute before he closed it again. Harper was looking at him, completely baffled and with worry filling her eyes.

'Well,' Monty began, swallowing thickly, 'we kind of ...blew up Arkadia...'

Harper paled and Monty quickly gripped her shoulders worried she would pass out again.

'Jesus fucking Christ, this war.' Harper muttered furiously.

* * *

 

Bryan walked into the drop ship area and his bones were weary. Indra went straight to talk to Kane and the rest of the team either collapsed against the gates or went to grab food from the fire. Miller instantly pulled Bryan into a hug and Bryan clasped him tightly.

'Are we ever  just going to be happy?' Bryan asked as he pulled away and Miller smiled, clearly full of confidence.

'Hell yeah.' Miller smiled, giving him a chaste kiss.

Bryan was soothed by Miller's fingers on the back of his neck and Miller continued to smile contentedly.

'There's peace now. The war is over. Now we get to be happy.'

* * *

 

Clarke could feel the mud, almost like a powder beneath her fingers. Her hair was starting to get soaked and she could feel one droplet run from her forehead down to the tip of her nose. She gave a soft cry. Raven and Octavia's voices were growing more distant and she tried to look around but she couldn't see them. Her whole body was stiff and sore but the pain in her side was dulling by the second.

Clarke gave another cry as a jolt of pain seared through the top of her skull and orbited the outside of her brain.

'Clarke, we need you.'

Clarke howled again at the sound of Aden's voice.

'Aden?' She practically sobbed.

She tried to open her eyes but the pain in her head increased ten fold and nausea rampaged through her gut.

The pain clutched at her head for a whole minute and she could barely comprehend what Raven was saying. The pain released her from its grip and she sunk back into the mud with a thud and panted heavily. The rain fell silently but she could still feel the drops against her face. She opened her eyes to white and she turned her head softly to the side. 

There was the gentle trickle of the river and the sunlight sparkled upon it beautifully. Clarke's breathing was soft and easy and she stared down at her side but it was no longer bleeding, although her top was stained with dry blood. She glanced around but neither Octavia nor Raven were present.

Clarke looked around warily, recognising this spot. Octavia could not have dragged her here in the time and Raven would never have taken her to the spot where her mother had tried to kill her. Clarke knew this trick of memories. She tore at a clump of grass but it felt real in her presence. She had expected nothing less but she sometimes wished she could get some sign that the Flame would be less real. For all of Lexa's assurances that she was right with her in the living world, the Flame felt just as important, just as real. At the thought of Lexa, her heart soared but she had no memory of Lexa ever mentioning this place as important and it would seem at odds with who Lexa was to bring her to somewhere that was full of pain.

'Clarke,'

Clarke jumped to her feet and spun around but Bellamy held his hands up and wore a tender smile at seeing her again.

'Good, you're here.' He said gently. 'Don't worry, Clarke. You're almost at the end- but there's still so much left to do.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bryan and Miller really shouldn't count their chickens just yet...hehe...because the whole raising chickens thing? Oh, never mind. Awful joke but you have no idea just how long I've been waiting to make it in these damn notes. 
> 
> So grateful to all of you who comment, kudos and even just keep clicking the link to this damn thing. You all rock :)


	109. Crossroads and Connections

Lexa and Murphy ran down the road back to Arkadia. There were horses remaining on the edge of the forest but only a handful. Lexa and Murphy grabbed one each and took off back the way they came. Lexa didn't know how many hours ago that had been but they were leaving behind a very different place, and heading into who knew what.  She did not look back at Polis as she had over the ruins at TonDC. The city was in good hands and her people knew what must be done.

Lexa kept trying to search the Flame for any sign of Clarke but there was none. Panic was beginning to flutter wildly in her chest. Clarke would never willingly leave someone she cared about unless there was a reason, unless she thought she was saving them from something. Ultimately, that had been why she had left Arkadia; not just because of the pain of what she had been through but because she thought her friends would be better off without her.

Lexa gripped the reins tighter and urged her horse on. Without the connection, she didn't even know whether she had time to save Clarke from whatever was happening. For the first time, the Flame had left her with no idea of what to do or what to expect.

* * *

Octavia frantically shook Clarke but Raven threw her backwards.

'Are you trying to hurt her?' Raven asked angrily.

Octavia panted heavily, watching Clarke's shallow breathing. Her eyes had closed again and she had collapsed back on the floor. They had tried to carry Clarke back but within minutes she'd been screaming and flailing wildly and they'd been forced to put her down or else Octavia risked dropping her.

'Aden was the Nightblood, right?' Raven asked Octavia, looking down at Clarke.

Octavia nodded but when Raven didn't look to her she muttered the confirmation.

'We need to get her to Arkadia.' Octavia said. 'I can carry her.'

Octavia however, looked at Raven with pain. Raven's leg had been sore since she had been carelessly kidnapped and Octavia had to go at full speed. Raven seemed to register this and gave a jerk of her head, her jaw clenched indicating that she could take Clarke.

'Wick.' Clarke whispered. 'Wick.'

Octavia and Raven stared at her in surprise. Raven lowered her head to Clarke but she didn't say anything else so she sat back up. Octavia stood still, watching Clarke's gentle breathing. She seemed unconscious again.

'Did she say "Wick"?'

Raven nodded.

'She must be hallucinating again.' Octavia dismissed but Raven frowned.

'Don't.' Octavia warned. 'We're wasting time.'

'What if she needs Wick?' Raven shot.

'She was also just calling out to some dead kid, Raven.' Octavia retorted impatiently. 'She's completely out of it. I have to get her back to Arkadia.'

'Since when have you ever looked out for her?' Raven shouted, rising unsteadily but glaring at Octavia with all of her anger.

'We can't go through this again! She's lost too much blood!' Octavia argued.

'Wick will be with the others anyway!'

'We don't know that!' Octavia screamed so loudly she actually jumped from the ground several inches. 'You were taken! Wick could be gone! Arkadia is clearly up in smoke! We don't know where they are! It'll be easier if we just-'

'If we-' Raven started but Octavia glared at her, her eyes wide with alarm.

'Shut up!' Octavia hissed urgently. 'Do you hear that?'

Raven turned slowly to face the road leading to Polis and nodded grimly at Octavia. Octavia gripped her blade, ready for yet another fight as hooves thundered their way.

'Murphy.' Raven breathed as the horses were forced to halt abruptly in before them.

Lexa and Murphy looked as though they had emerged from the ashes of hell. Murphy's face had dust peeling away from it and Lexa's hair still had knots of it. The pair looked relatively unscathed despite their ashen appearance and they scrambled down from the horses, Lexa's eyes were latched straight onto Clarke's unconscious form and she went straight to her. Octavia took a step back as she watched them together and Lexa murmured reassurances to Clarke, holding her close. Raven and Murphy stood awkwardly and occasionally they glanced to one another with a soft smile but neither spoke a word.

'We need to get her to Jackson.' Octavia said, breaking the moment.

'There is something wrong.' Lexa said and Octavia scoffed.

'Yes, she got stabbed, remember?'

'You do not understand. The connection. The Flame...there is no trace of her...' Lexa said.

'Wick.' Raven half shouted in realisation. 'She said she wanted Wick. He was the one who built the bridge device and worked on the secondary Flame. That's why she needs him!'

'Or she was still hallucinating!' Octavia seethed and it was Raven's time to scoff.

'This is Clarke.'

'Octavia,' Lexa commanded firmly, 'take the horse and bring Wick here now.'

'But why-'

'It'll be better to bring him here.' Raven quickly interjected. 'The Flame is legendary. There was just a civil war because of what went on with it. Almost nobody knows of the secondary Flame...can you imagine what the clans will do if they find out about Wanheda? That's why Azgeda must have wanted me. They knew I worked with Lexa and Clarke so that we could stop the black rain. They still mustn't have known how we did it.'

'Hardly anyone knows of or understands the Flame.' Lexa said.

'But with everything we did at Arkadia they knew enough to take the smartest one of us.' Raven replied and Lexa nodded.

'I'll go with you.' Murphy offered to Octavia.

'I don't need you.' Octavia spat.

'I'm not doing it for you. If we can't find Wick it'll be easier to split up into groups to find him. Plus, Zoran will want to come.'

Raven shot Murphy a tender look but his eyes were fixed on Octavia who merely shrugged.

'Don't slow me down.' Octavia warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for such a slow update but you know me and Sundays. :P 
> 
> Hopefully the tiny amount of Clexa (albeit with unconscious Clarke) at least slightly makes up for it. So....who is right? Octavia for wanting Jackson or Lexa and Raven for going for Wick? Tough call...
> 
> As ever, I'm in awe of all of you who have managed to stay with this thing. I'd have given up ;) thank you again for your comments and kudos too. :)


	110. How It Always Was

Bellamy sat on a large rock, his feet trailing in the water. His hair was as long as it had been when she had last seen him alive and he was in a guard's uniform. His face was free of cuts and blood, which was so unlike any time she had ever seen him alive on the ground. He somehow seemed more vivid though than the Bellamy she had seen in the City of Light.

Clarke hesitated for a moment before slowly untying her boots and pulling them off with her socks and going to sit next to him. The water was cool and soothing against her feet. Clarke didn't understand what was going on with the Flame and she could not sense Lexa's connection but that didn't mean she didn't feel Lexa. It was as though Lexa was with her but no matter how many times Clarke looked around she couldn't see her anywhere. Once or twice she had restrained herself from calling out some soothing reassurance but it was to herself and not Lexa. It startled Clarke and she looked around again but they were alone. Clarke did not understand what was happening and Bellamy didn't seem in a rush at all to reveal anything.

'Is this really you?' Clarke asked tentatively. 'Or is this another memory?'

'Does it matter?' Bellamy said, turning to give her a smile before looking back across to the forest at the other side of the water and kicking his feet lightly in the river.

'What would you want it to be?' Bellamy asked, breaking the silence that had once more fallen.

'What?' Clarke asked, confused.

'Do you want me to be a ghost or would you want me to be here?'

It was Clarke's turn to look back across the forest. With the way things were going she half expected pauna to jump out at any moment. That would probably be easier to face than whatever lay ahead this time.

'I don't know.' Clarke admitted after a moment and Bellamy nodded in understanding.

What they had become had still not left Clarke's memory. Having to kill Bellamy had somehow seemed to haunt her more than watching her own mother die. Perhaps it was because her mother had made that choice to take them down that path, whereas her and Bellamy had stumbled down their own journey unknowingly and then had been forced together again but to fight to the death. She didn't know what was worse: the prospect of once more facing the memory of him and the fact Bellamy had no future, or actually facing his spirit or whatever this was and having to try to move on from what they had done. The past had trapped her for so many months but it wasn't entirely lacking in comfort; she never knew what other horrors lay ahead. Guilt had been a constant force and if she focused on all that she had become, it stopped her from contemplating too much on who she needed to be and what may be needed to be done tomorrow.

'Why you?' Clarke asked. 'Why not my mother, Wells or Finn?'

'Wasn't it always us?' Bellamy asked. 'It was always about which one of us would lead.'

'And that's what we're doing now? Leading?'

'Yes.' Bellamy replied. 'To peace.'

 Clarke might have scoffed had she not been dreading whatever Bellamy was about to reveal. She pulled her feet out of the water and sat cross-legged. Whatever her, Bellamy and Skaikru had achieved it had not been peace; they had killed each other and even after securing their safety in the City of Light, everything after had arguably led to disaster. Every time they thought they were saving everyone, it just led to more pain, more suffering and a lot more death.

'Do you know what it means yet?' Bellamy asked her serenely but when she looked puzzled, he elaborated. 'To survive?'

Clarke's eyes narrowed and she pulled a face of disbelief at the question. She wanted to argue but promptly closed her mouth. The Flame had distorted everything, the concept of time and even what it meant to be alive and mortal. The connection was one that Clarke prized but also one Lexa warned of. Even if she didn't have it, then she'd still spend all day trying to do everything to avoid death. She didn't know what came next, maybe it was better than whatever it was they all had to keep facing every day but she knew that in this life there was Lexa, there were her friends, and who knew what else lay waiting. Maybe there was just something comforting in opening her eyes each morning and feeling that maybe there was still something let to be done.

'Love.' Clarke answered. 'Or maybe it means nothing at all. I don't know. We just keep going.'

'Maybe you can find out.' Bellamy suggested.

Of all of the responses that she had expected from Bellamy, that was not it. She had expected open derision of her relationship with Lexa, or an angry questioning of all that they had done to survive but not this.

'What do you mean?' Clarke questioned.

'Come on, Clarke.' Bellamy smiled. 'Did you really just think the Flame only kept the spirits of the commanders to pass on advice?'

Clarke's mind seemed to stall at Bellamy's words. Beyond the possibility of immortality and of what the City of Light provided, Clarke had never thought about the concept of the Flame- but Raven had. In their months together at the clinic, Raven had been intrigued by Clarke's secondary Flame but Clarke had brushed it off. Raven had suggested there might be more to the Flame. In the time they had spent in the City of Light, Raven had searched further into its code than anyone but Raven had also refused to talk about the place. Clarke understood why: Finn, and all of the others they had lost that had been taken again. That's why Clarke had fled from Arkadia for the third- she had murdered her own father- and that was why Raven was the one to go with her. There had been so much falling apart with the clans that even thinking about the Flame seemed like a frivolous waste of time. Clarke had turned to it every chance she could to see Lexa but she'd never thought about what more there was to it, yet the idea that such an elaborate creation had been developed for such a simple purpose seemed beyond reason.

Becca had put her trust in a lot of things that could have ended the Flame: namely the Nightbloods when such a bloody tradition surrounded their existence. Perhaps the conclaves were not conducted as such back then but Becca had seen enough of humanity to know that to only put faith in such limited and volatile resources would be foolhardy. Becca had also been brilliant enough to design an entire world, it seemed implausible that there wasn't more to it and yet so obvious that nobody had ever stopped to think about it.

'What else is there?' Clarke asked, torn between trepidation and eagerness.

'More choices probably.' Bellamy shrugged.

'Why me?' Why are you telling me?' Clarke frowned. 'Lexa is the one with the actual Flame.'

Lexa had the original program. The one that Becca had actually designed and poured all of her genius into. Clarke's was arguably just an imitation.

'She is.' Bellamy said. 'And that's the point.'

'I don't understand.' Clarke muttered, annoyed at his lack of forthrightness.

'It was waiting,' Bellamy replied, 'for someone to merge: for something. To understand such a design, there needed to be a union of ideas between creators.'

'So it was a triggered response? Because Wick made this, the Flame recognised it?'

'As a partner, of sorts.' Bellamy nodded.

'But I've had this months.' Clarke pointed out, baffled.

'Yes, but it required other trigger points.'

'Like what?' Clarke asked, confused.

'Time to truly merge your consciousness with the Flame. Your critical state- oh, don't worry, you're not dying.' Bellamy smiled when Clarke's expression turned to one of fear. 'But you lost consciousness and that caused you to let go. The Flame sensed your defences were weakened.'

'So it's doing what?' Clarke asked nervously.

'Trying to improve its host. It was designed to get better with each new commander.'

Clarke paled.

'It's merging me with Lexa?' Clarke asked, her voice breaking. 'That's why I kept thinking I was Lexa and I could hear her calling out to me- that was me?'

'Wick will fix it.' Bellamy replied. 'You called for him. Lexa is with you and so is Raven. Trust them.'

'If my mind merges-'

'You will die.' Bellamy said simply. 'The Flame will have taken what it has needed and so it will reject you as if you had red blood but Clarke, trust the people around you.'

Clarke pulled herself up off the rock and stared angrily at him.

'How the hell can you be so calm?' Clarke demanded. 'I could die!'

'Clarke, listen!' Bellamy said, standing up too.

Clarke stared at him for a moment but Bellamy seemed less inclined than ever to speak.

'Well, go on!' Clarke spluttered angrily and Bellamy rolled his eyes and Clarke found herself wanting to punch him in the face.

'Not to me.' He said pointedly. 'Relax. Listen to the world. Octavia has already left with Murphy to and get Wick.'

Clarke tried to relax but she found the fact she might die at any moment horrendously distracting. She closed her eyes briefly and blood pounded through her ears as though she had just come from a long run. She fought the urge to whisper reassurances again. It was bizarre that she kept wanting to call out to herself. Sometimes she swore Lexa's body was her own. Her fingers felt longer, her posture felt straighter, her hair thicker but even among this transformation that was trying to wrench her from her own mind Clarke could make out Raven's voice too and her urges that Wick would do everything he could and would be there soon.

Clarke slowly opened her eyes again and was not surprised to see a smirk on Bellamy's face.

'See.' He said.

'Shut up.' Clarke grumbled.

'So what do I do know?' Clarke asked.

'Wait.' Bellamy replied. 'I know it's not your strong suit but-'

'I meant the Flame. Why tell me this?'

'If you want answers then go back to where it all started.' Bellamy said. 'Go back, Clarke.'

Clarke shot him a quizzical look. He hadn't told her anything tangible. She didn't know what to look for and what lay ahead yet he still stood smiling.

There was a rush of air and Clarke's hair flapped against her face. She spat out strands of blonde hair as both Raven's and Lexa's voices grew louder.

'Go back, Clarke.' Bellamy called out.

Clarke gasped, a rush of cold air hitting her lungs. The pain in her side returned in full force and the trees around blended all into green and then black. She called out for Bellamy but he didn't shout back and she knew that he was gone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks so much for your comments, reviews and kudos esp for this chapter as I know this may well not be everybody's cup of tea! I absolutely loved writing this scene though which is a bit odd given how much I thoroughly enjoyed killing Bellamy off.


	111. Bitter Choices

Lexa held Clarke softly in her arms and stroked her hair. Clarke had stilled considerably from her earlier squirming and moaning. Lexa was sure that was not a sign of Clarke fighting back but of whatever was gripping Clarke advancing through her system.

'The bleeding has stopped.' Raven commented, checking Clarke's wound.

'That wound was never enough to risk Clarke's life.' Lexa stated. 'It was enough to weaken her so she could not fight and would be vulnerable during the battle but it would never have caused this.'

Raven had told Lexa of Clarke's hallucinations and her trips in and out of consciousness. Clarke commanding Wick to be present had shown that Clarke, at that point, still held on to herself but Lexa had no idea what state she was in now and nothing they did seemed able to rouse her.

'We both know it's the Flame.' Raven said quietly.

'Hers?' Lexa asked, somewhat stiffly.

Raven sighed for a moment and looked desperately at Clarke.

'I don't know...the Flame is powerful and the secondary cannot exist without it. There could be a problem with the secondary Flame or yours could be corrupting Clarke's.' Raven answered. 'Wick will bring what he needs though and we'll work to fix it.'

'And if Arkadia had not been destroyed...?' Lexa asked, her voice trailing off and Raven hissed in frustration.

'We'll fix her.' Raven vehemently insisted. 'Wick would have been able to transport a lot of equipment from engineering. He designed the secondary Flame and he knows what the Flame is. He'd have saved everything we needed.'

'If he knew what was required.' Lexa pointed out.

'Trust me. I'll figure this thing out.' Raven promised.

* * *

 

Octavia and Murphy jumped off their horses the second they arrived outside the half toppled gates around the drop ship. When Octavia had last been here with Clarke the place had been abandoned but now it was teaming with activity. People of different clans and kin were coming and going. The entrance to the drop ship could hardly been seen for the amount of people crowding around.

Octavia and Murphy forced their way through to the entrance where Kane stood with Indra. Octavia felt a surge of relief at seeing the both of them and Kane and Indra turned in surprise to find them there.

'Octavia,' Indra greeted happily but Octavia cut across them.

'We need Wick,' Octavia said quickly, 'and Jackson.'

Murphy gave her an incredulous look and shuffled awkwardly.

'Why?' Kane asked quickly.

'Clarke's hurt.' Murphy answered. 'She asked for Wick.'

Kane looked as though he thought about questioning Clarke's request for a second but he seemed to think better of it and turned to go into the drop ship to get Wick.

'Is it true that the tower fell?' Indra asked, in a hushed voice.

'Yes.' Murphy replied, and he looked down despondently at himself as he was still covered in ash.

Indra looked absolutely stunned. Indra would have struggled to believe it until she saw Octavia nod and Octavia knew how much this would hurt her. The tower had been the symbol of hope and it had fallen while Lexa was Heda, or at least the rightful one. She would forever see this as a personal failing by Trikru.

Wick and Zoran emerged from the drop ship at the entrance. Both had packs slung on their backs and were wide eyed.

'Raven's fine. She's with Clarke.' Murphy told them quickly and Zoran let out a loud cry of delight.

'Thank you.' Wick replied quietly.

Murphy merely nodded.

'We have to get out of here.'

'I need to bring Jackson too.' Octavia told him firmly.

Murphy groaned loudly and gave her a look of pure disbelief.

'Clarke's bleeding. Sorry for thinking a doctor might be a good idea.' Octavia spat.

'Like when getting your sister to murder your brother was a good idea? Or killing Jaha despite Lexa's wishes?' Murphy shot.

'What would you know, Murphy? You've only ever looked out for yourself.'

'Yeah, that's why I went into war while you hid in the tunnels.' Murphy challenged.

'That is where Lexa sent me!' Octavia shouted, indignantly.

'Because she didn't trust you near Clarke!' Murphy shouted back.

'Hey!' Kane shouted sharply, stepping between them. 'Murphy get the horses ready. Jackson is inside. Octavia can talk to him while Wick gets all the equipment packed on the horses.'

Murphy shot him an angry look before storming off. Wick exhaled in annoyance but followed behind and Zoran jumped after them. Octavia marched inside the drop ship and instantly flinched at the sight. There were hammocks nailed into every inch of the wall. Octavia couldn't count how many patients but most were in a miserable state. The floor was soaked in blood. She knew that with the battles it would be like this on every single floor of the drop ship and these were just the people who were lucky enough to make it here in the first place.

Octavia froze when she saw Harper but Harper caught her eye and smiled over to her. Octavia had little choice but to make her way over to her.

'Hey,' Harper said, 'Monty's gone to get some food.'

'Some things never change.' Octavia replied, forcing a smile.

She glanced at Harper's left arm and swallowed when she saw that up to half of her forearm had been amputated.

'It's fine.' Harper said, smiling.

'What happened?'

'War.' Harper said, still smiling but with the tone that suggested that it was obvious.

'I'm sorry.' Octavia offered, somewhat hopelessly.

'You really don't need to be.' Harper replied.

Octavia turned when she heard Jackson's voice at the other end of the drop ship. She looked back to Harper apologetically.

'Duty calls, right?'

'Right.' Octavia nodded. 'Look after yourself.'

Octavia blinked quickly, turning to Jackson. Finding people after war was overwhelming with joy and grief. The people that had been left were always very different. They'd weathered so much already and Octavia found it hard to believe that even with the prospect of peace that they'd be able to make it through this easily.

Octavia rushed over to Jackson. He acknowledged her with a small nod and quickly changed the bandages on his patient. Jackson's fingers were rushed but gently as he wrapped the wound. The stench of blood filled the drop ship and just glancing at the injury made Octavia feel surprisingly queasy. Jackson tied the bandage and muttered to his patient before stepping towards her.

'What's wrong?' He said, brow furrowed.

'Clarke.' Octavia answered. 'She's been stabbed. The bleeding doesn't seem as bad but she's still unconscious. We need to get you to her.'

'Woah,' Jackson replied quickly, 'I can't leave.'

'What?' Octavia spluttered. 'Why? It's Clarke.'

'Why?' Jackson asked incredulously. 'Have you looked around? I'm needed here. I'm not just treating patients here either. I'm working with Trikru and now Broadleaf and Azgeda to help coordinate medical supply runs and patient transfers. I can't just leave them.'

'Clarke could die!' Octavia shouted.

'I know what it means. I'm a doctor, I know what choices I have to make.' Jackson responded firmly. 'I've known Clarke most of her life and Abby was my mentor but I can't leave. Too many people here could die. I can't leave just to try to save one.'

Even as Jackson was talking, Octavia watched as Nyko rushed to aid a young woman who was coughing up blood. Octavia's face was etched in torment.

'If you bring Clarke here then I promise I'll do everything I can to help her,' Jackson said softly, his arm gently grasping hers, 'but I won't leave my patients, Octavia.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing is ever easy...of course, Jackson really can't leave, although I totally get O's frustration. Kind of reminds me of how Abby and Clarke used to clash because of Abby's perspective from her years of being a doctor. Only with less bitterness and personal betrayal :P Well, at least O tried...and it's not like he can do anything anyway (although of course, she doesn't really appreciate that yet). 
> 
> Looks like blowing up Arkadia might backfire for Clarke anyway. Best resources in the place and they blew them to hell. They didn't have much choice really but I wouldn't blame Lexa if at some point she just had an epic tantrum and started banging her feet and fists off the floor and crying about the absolute worst luck she and Clarke have. 
> 
> Also, yay, Harper! It was nice to work her in the scene. It was sad sending them all off to different places for the war and now a lot of them may be quite different after all that they've seen, done and been put through if they ever all actually get together again. The 100 are also now well past the point of needing to say anything about just how messed up things are which is why it was nice to work in a quiet moment with those two. Nothing much to say, just a quiet acceptance of how things are and that tomorrow things could be even worse with their luck.
> 
> Oh and I almost forgot (how rude) but I very much appreciate you reading, commenting and leaving kudos :) Have to admit, even though I planned this fic, I didn't quite imagine it would go on for so long. But I am notoriously disorganised and a terrible planner.


	112. Losing Ourselves

'So that was a bust and you just ended up wasting even more of our time.' Murphy called as he sat on the horse with Zoran hanging onto him, and Octavia threw herself up on her horse as Wick clambered up behind her.

'Shut the fuck up, Murphy.' Octavia snapped.

* * *

 

Lexa ignored the tiredness in her legs as she and Raven walked along the road back to what led to the drop ship. Murphy had radioed to say they were on their way but at the very least they could cut their journey by heading in their direction. Raven seemed even more exhausted and her head kept lolling as she walked but she did not falter, yet only occasionally she would jerk with a start.

Clarke's head rested against Lexa's shoulder. Her breathing was regular but she had not once woken. Lexa had murmured reassurances and urges for her to keep fighting but Raven had said there was little point; Clarke's will did not matter against the programming of the Flame but Lexa could not accept this. Clarke had won every battle she faced. It seemed impossible the power of her will had just been erased.

'When Wick comes, we'll be able to stop it.' Raven said, for the seventh time.

'You do not yet know what it is.' Lexa responded. 'We can only know what is required and what can be achieved when Wick arrives.'

Raven let out an annoyed sigh. Lexa knew of Raven's impatience; she needed to fix things with her knowledge but there was no way of understanding what was needed yet. Raven could not make any guarantees. They had to take each step once at a time. Lexa had considered everything; even destroying the Flame itself but they could not take action until they knew what that would mean for Clarke or they would risk making the situation far more grave. Skaikru always rushed into fights without thinking everything through and it usually left a lot of people dead.  

'Everyone told her to take the secondary Flame out.' Raven rued.

'It was Clarke's choice.' Lexa replied.

Raven tutted.

'Clarke's choice is killing her. I saw why she kept it when we stayed at the clinic.' Raven replied, coolly. 'It was to stay connected with you.'

'Did you have any idea that this would happen?' Lexa responded icily. 'For all of your insight of the Flame and the City of Light, did you think we would be here now?'

Raven glowered at her.

'Then keep walking. There is no point in dwelling on the past; that cannot be changed now.'

'How on earth did that hothead fall for someone as cold as you?' Raven asked.

'Your people sent her down to the earth to die, then you drove her out of your settlement and we built a life together.' Lexa replied simply.

Raven had never shown much animosity towards her but Lexa was not surprised at the distrust. They had been through a war largely because of her. Clarke was in danger now potentially because of the Flame that Lexa was a host to. Raven was also desperate to vent some of her anger; her irritation at not being able to immediately fix Clarke was clear. Lexa understood the protectiveness, and she was glad Clarke had a friend in Raven but she would not allow herself to be lectured on her love for Clarke.

'You always think you know better.' Raven retorted.

'I know this is a pointless fight. The only battle that matters now is Clarke's.'

'You're not one of us.' Raven snapped at Lexa. 'If we lose her-'

'You won't.' Lexa vowed.  'We won't.'

Clarke gave a soft groan and Lexa started, but she kept walking even while she pulled Clarke closer and Raven shot them a concerned look.

'Clarke,' Lexa murmured.

'I can't feel myself.' Clarke breathed, her voice little more than a broken whisper.

Lexa glanced at Raven but her expression showed that she didn't have any idea what that meant either. Lexa watched Clarke stir, she didn't seem in pain but as if she was struggling with some untold mental battle within herself. Lexa shut her eyes briefly but the connection still felt blocked. She couldn't sense Clarke anywhere within it. She opened her eyes again when she felt Clarke squirm even more and worry galloped through her heart. There was no way she could help Clarke if she didn't know what was happening.

'Clarke,' Lexa murmured tenderly as she pulled Clarke ever closer to her so that Clarke's head was buried in the crook of her neck, 'remember all those months ago when we talked about losing ourselves to the Flame? You resisted then, you can now. Hold on, Clarke.'

Clarke stilled in her arms and she seemed lost to consciousness once more. Lexa never stopped muttering to Clarke, no matter what Raven said, if there was a chance that it would help Clarke then Lexa would provide all the encouragement and support she needed.

Their weary legs dragged on and Lexa was hit by a rush of relief when Murphy, Octavia, Wick and Zoran finally arrived. Lexa placed Clarke on the ground and Wick ran forward, pulling his pack off and Zoran handed his pack to Raven.

Wick pulled out the bridge device and placed it on the floor, near the back of Clarke's neck and Raven pulled out one of the monitor pads and together they quickly got to work. Lexa sat next to Clarke, a hand on her arm and let Raven and Wick concentrate on fixing whatever was the problem. Octavia paced nearby and Zoran tried to keep glancing over Raven's shoulder. Murphy stood absolutely still as though scared any movement might break their focus.

'Damn it.' Wick hissed. 'Can you access all of her systems?'

'No.' Raven shook her head.

'Me neither. There's interference.'

'You mind explaining?' Murphy asked.

'The bridge was what helped create the secondary Flame. It was what powered it. I should be able to use it to connect back with the secondary Flame to try to figure out what's going on but I can only access so far.' Wick explained. 'I don't understand. None of the program has corroded.'

'It has to be the main Flame.' Raven said. 'It's merging.'

Lexa stiffened.

'What does that mean?' Lexa asked, looking from Raven and Wick who seemed downright terrified.

'It means,' Raven started heavily, 'it means, your Flame is trying to take over Clarke's.'

'And if it does?' Lexa whispered.

'She dies.' Raven replied, her voice shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So bit of a dramatic end but come on, wait until we see Raven and Wick going into geek mode. Bit mean that Clarke's choice to stay connected to Lexa has meant that Lexa is (inadvertently) trying to kill her now...or at least her Flame is. Bit of a fun twist though to write. In a way Clarke is probably lucky because no one else has had a chance to have a lie down and they all must be exhausted after the war :P 
> 
> I decided to spring clean my desk today (a bit late in the year I know but I've been busy and I'm disorganised) and I've just found this Christmas reindeer toy. Quite random and now I kind of wish it was present giving season.
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for reading and for your lovely comments and kudos.


	113. Tear Down the Walls

Kane looked up at the sky that was slowly turning to orange. The air was crisp and cool and Kane already found himself longing for the return of summer. The last winter had not been as harsh as expected but he still did not envy the hundred for having to camp here last year.

'It'll be dark soon.' Kane noted, looking back at Indra.

'They will be okay.' Indra said, sensing his concern for Clarke and the others. 'The war is over. We need to keep our focus on those we can help.'

The drop ship had been overrun with people. The gates had proved a nuisance. While originally designed to keep attackers out they were now forcing people to queue to be granted entry. Patients were being transported in an out of the settlement every half hour or so.

Kane had managed to do a census. Around thirty percent of all of Skaikru had been killed, some were still with Luna, although transport would be arranged for them in the morning and another dozen were in critical condition and Jackson wasn't sure they would survive.

Some of Skaikru had not agreed with the decision of blowing up Arkadia and as soon as peace had been declared, they had left the drop ship to make their life away from Kane and away from the politics of the clans. Kane could hardly blame them but it seemed that the end of Skaikru was at hand. When there were so many different people from different clans depending upon each other, thinking about only your own people was not an option.

 'Let's tear down the walls. The materials can be used to help build more shelters.' Kane said.

'As you wish.'

'And what of Lexa's wishes?' Kane asked before Indra could leave their conversation. 'You know she wants you to help lead Trikru again...'

'She told me as much when we were working together to stop the Azgeda raiders.' Indra admitted.

'Will you?'

'I will do whatever it takes to make sure that blood never stains our ground again.' Indra replied.

* * *

 

Lexa's grip on Clarke tightened.

'How is that possible?' Lexa whispered. 'How can she just be taken?'

'The mind, spirit, whatever you wish to call it of Clarke would survive but it would be merged with your consciousness. The Flame would take on all of her strengths and knowledge but it wouldn't recognise her. A Clarke you could see wouldn't exist, and her body would be an empty shell, broken by the merge.' Wick explained as he fiddled with the bridge device. 'Can you feel her at all inside the Flame?'

Lexa shook her head.

'That's why. Because for you there's nothing to sense when she's being uploaded into you.'

'Is Clarke going to die?' Zoran asked, over Raven's shoulder.

'No chance in hell.' Raven muttered.

'How are you going to be able to stop it?' Octavia asked, overcome with worry.

'We can't, but we can divert it.' Raven replied.

'What does that mean?' Murphy asked.

'Damn civs.' Wick muttered. 'We're essentially tricking the Flame, letting it have what it wants but without it taking Clarke.'

'If we open up the secondary Flame so all of it its available to access then that should be enough. There wouldn't need to be a full merge and the Flame-'

'Won't extinguish Clarke's life.' Lexa finished for Raven.

'Can't we just take the damn thing out of her head?' Octavia asked.

'It's too dangerous at this point. The process has already started and Clarke's too vulnerable. We don't know how the Flame or secondary Flame would react. Taking it out could kill her.' Wick answered.

Silence fell once more but for Raven and Wick working. Despite the fact that they were fiddling with two different devices they seemed to be in complete sync and even though the bridge and secondary Flame were Wick's design, Raven had seemed to register her understanding of them within minutes of being able to access them on the pad.

Clarke gave a soft murmur and stirred slightly before falling completely still once more, except for her soft breathing that was as rhythmic as a metronome.

'What did she say?' Octavia asked.

'Bellamy.' Lexa answered, frowning down at Clarke.

'Of course.' Raven breathed. 'I thought I saw the code of someone else but it was changing. Whatever it is, it isn't interacting with Clarke anymore.'

'Bellamy is there? She can see him?' Octavia asked, in awe and she glanced around the forest uncertainly as if expecting him to jump out and yell that it was all a surprise.

'I knew it wasn't hallucinations.' Raven muttered.

'I don't think now is the best time for "I told you so", Raven.' Murphy replied, albeit gently.

'When it's aimed at Octavia, it always is.' Raven retorted.

'Focus.' Lexa commanded.

'Relax, we joke. It's how we work. We've got this.' Wick replied, not looking up.

'Clarke is safe with us.' Raven said, also not looking up. 'We won't let anything happen to her. We know this stuff too well. We saved the entire planet with the Flame, remember?'

'Right, one person should be easy.' Murphy replied.

'It better be.' Octavia warned.

It was almost half an hour before either Wick or Raven made another sound. The sky was a blaze of orange and Lexa grew steadily more anxious; Octavia may have made a fire but with the oppressive darkness and the amount of time they were taking it may not be enough for Raven and Wick to save Clarke.

Clarke had not said anything more and she had not stirred. Raven never mentioned anything else about spotting people through the code and so Lexa was sure that whatever Clarke was experiencing she was going through it alone, and given the history with Bellamy she wasn't sure if that was a comforting thought or not.

'Got it. Opened up all of the portals and connection points.' Wick told Raven.

'I'm seeing the data transfer.' Raven said. 'I'm letting it upload but I'm diverting it away from Lexa's code. '

'I'm killing her.' Lexa murmured.

'Not anymore.' Raven replied. 'All of her code is going into the Flame. Her knowledge, the very essence of what it means to be Clarke but it will only exist once Clarke dies within the secondary Flame. That way, Clarke will be triggered again but she'll exist inside the actual Flame.'

'Basically, it's latent knowledge that the Flame has without conjuring Clarke.' Wick explained.

'That isn't the interesting thing though.' Raven said, finally looking up and her eyes were already bloodshot.

'What now?' Murphy muttered, with a dramatic hint of foreboding.

'Whatever was triggered to start this process...it means that Clarke can go into the Flame.' Raven said.

'Yeah, we knew that already.' Murphy replied, rolling his eyes.

'Clarke doesn't have pure black blood.' Raven said.

'But she took it before.'

'And Clarke's blood has been diluted since then. She doesn't have Ontari's fresh blood running through her system and her body has never naturally produced black blood.' Raven said. 'And yet the Flame is taking her and willingly so.'

Raven tapped furiously at her screen as everybody watched her confused.

'I think it was waiting.' Raven said finally. 'It seems in perfect symmetry with the secondary Flame.'

'Waiting?' Octavia asked, in disbelief. 'It's a machine.'

'And the City of Light and the nuclear plants were waiting for us to spring its defences into life.' Raven pointed out. 'It's just the code is morphing. I've worked on the Flame more than anyone, except Becca. It seems to be upgrading into something else.'

'Something else?' Octavia asked skeptically.

'I don't know what.' Raven said, shaking her head at the screen. 'Upload complete.'

Before Raven could even finished her words, Clarke woke with a start and sat up so quickly Lexa barely managed to move her head out of the way to avoid a collision. Clarke looked around at them all, blinking rapidly before she broke into a smile. Lexa was both relieved and alarmed by Clarke's sudden alertness.

'He said you'd figure it out.'

Clarke's eyes were positively brimming with delight and Lexa had only on a few occasions ever seen Clarke appear so light and at ease. Lexa's glanced to the dried blood on Clarke but the wound seemed not to bother her. Her eyes were bright with fervor.

'Bellamy?' Raven asked tentatively.

'You've been watching through the code?' Clarke asked, glancing at the pad and Raven nodded.

'You can sense me now in the Flame?' Clarke asked and Lexa nodded; as soon as Clarke had awoken she knew that Clarke had returned in the Flame.

'Good.' Clarke answered. 'So now we have to go back.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :) so Clarke, after worrying everyone to death is actually better than ever. I think she just likes the drama :P Poor Lexa thinking she was the reason Clarke might die though. 
> 
> I know the chapter title refers to a small moment of Kane's speech but it was quite significant. The concept of us vs them is really dissolving now. 
> 
> I know the Flame isn't a direction every fan loves (which after how it was handled I completely understand) but for the last section/season whatever that is planned for this fic I wanted to blend the roots of scifi with the concept of what it takes to survive on the ground. Hopefully it comes together to be a bit unpredictable but still satisfactory for you all :p I'm always worried people will guess my twists (esp when it came to O and Clarke being sisters) so I've got fingers crossed you can't work out the ending I have planned :P
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos (and for reading at all!). I can't believe the kudos has hit 600 now. :)


	114. Awkward Moments

The pain in her side had returned but Clarke checked her wound and the bleeding had stopped. The throbbing was merely a distraction. She'd need to change her bandages though but they had to get back to the drop ship. Bellamy had been clear and the drop ship was where their story had started. Clarke stood up tentatively but found that she was quite steady.

'Go where?' Octavia asked, alarmed.

'The drop ship.' Clarke replied, as though it was obvious.

'Good.' Raven sighed. 'Everyone is there anyway.'

'Not quite.' Octavia muttered.

'Who else is there?' Raven asked, bewildered.

'Why is everyone there and not at Arkadia?' Clarke asked quickly.

Wick and Zoran gave each other uncomfortable looks and Octavia grimaced.

'Kane and Wick blew it up.' Murphy answered.

Clarke stilled and looked to each of them, convinced that it must have been some sort of joke. Perhaps if Jasper was still with them it would be, but each of their faces revealed the reality: their home had gone. Arkadia had been destroyed and by its own people.

'Ice Nation were coming. We didn't have a lot of options.' Wick explained, with a note of apology in his voice.

'Your people left for the drop ship before the blast and Polis has clear instructions to begin recovery work since the fall of the tower.' Lexa said. 'The drop ship is the next best location for us, and the closest.'

'The tower fell?' Clarke asked, horrified.

Clarke felt as though she needed to sit down again. The world she had known for the last few months had completely changed for her in the space of thirty seconds. Both of her homes had been destroyed.

'Yeah, of all the things you could have slept through...' Murphy retorted.

Arkadia and the tower were both gone...Clarke would never have imagined that possible before the start of the battle. Guilt bubbled in her stomach; she had urged this war to come to a head, she had wanted the end of Rosar but she had never expected the price of such a dream to be so great.

'What about Rosar?' Clarke asked; the way their luck was going she half expected them to tell her Rosar was now Heda.

'Crushed.' Murphy shrugged, nonchalantly. 'She was in the tower at the time. Poetic really.'

Clarke had hated Rosar but that fate seemed grim to say the least, although she felt far more sorry for the residents of Polis who had first been forced to live and serve under Azgeda's command and now had their city destroyed.

Clarke looked to Lexa properly for the first time and saw she still had a light coating of ash over her commander's outfit and Clarke fought tears. Lexa must have come incredibly close to being crushed herself.

'I'm fine, Clarke.' Lexa said, reading Clarke's worried expression.

'I'm fine too.' Murphy said sarcastically, waving a hand in the air but Clarke paid no attention.

'You're not going back to Polis?' Clarke questioned, the earlier conversation playing on her mind.

'You said we had to go to the drop ship.' Lexa reminded her.

'Why?' Octavia asked.

'Bellamy told me.' Clarke said, without looking at her. 'Something happened with the Flame and the secondary Flame - they were going to merge.'

'We figured that much out.' Wick told her.

'But he said there was a lot more to the Flame that we needed to find out. We were close to the end. Bellamy said we had to go back to the start and our journey started with the drop ship.' Clarke told them.

Murphy looked away and ran a hand through his hair.

'Did he say anything else?' Octavia asked, slightly quiet but Clarke shook her head, still looking at Lexa.

Lexa's expression seemed stoic but her interest would have been piqued by the knowledge that there was more to the Flame. Lexa believed in spirits, and although she didn't like or trust Bellamy, his presence would hold significance to her.

'So we don't know what we're looking for or why.' Wick said.

'Just like old times.' Raven muttered.

'Night is coming in.' Lexa told them. 'Clarke is still hurt, as is Raven. We should rest for tonight and leave at first light.'

'I'll take first watch.' Octavia offered.

Clarke fought back the urge to argue. They needed to leave but if Raven was weakened then they may as well stay. They needed Raven at her best for whatever lay ahead.

Clarke was filled with as much clarity and calm as she was the first time she had taken the Flame and yet she had little answers then and even less now, but with the tower fallen and Arkadia in ruins, this could be their chance at a better future.

* * *

Clarke and Lexa lay against the bank, while Raven slept on the banking on the other side of the road, next to Zoran and Wick. The sky was relatively clear, and the stars offered some light as well as the two fires on either side of the road that cackled gently. Lexa was looking up at the sky, so often enamored with the beauty of the stars but they had lost all of their charm to Clarke.

'Why are you here with us?' Clarke asked Murphy, who was sitting cross-legged opposite them.

Murphy glanced over his shoulder at the sleeping form of Raven.

'I'm the Flame Keeper.' Murphy shrugged and Clarke groaned loudly.

'You were just in a war. Go and sort things out before everything goes wrong again.' Clarke muttered impatiently.

'I thought things were supposed to get better.' Murphy threw at her, with a smirk and Clarke smiled sarcastically back.

'Just go over there and sit with her.' Clarke snapped.

'Can't believe I'm taking relationship advice from you.' Murphy muttered but he rose anyway and walked across the road to join the others.

Clarke shuffled closer to Lexa and took her hand in her own. Lexa turned and smiled softly at her but Clarke saw the way Lexa's eyes glanced down to her wound. The pain had subsided slightly but whenever she touched it she gave a sharp gasp. It would heal well, although she might have another scar to add to her collection. She still wore the two faded marks on the top of her chest from when her mother tortured her and her hands had several small scars now, the largest being from when she took the oath with Nia in the spectacularly poor attempt at assassinating the Ice Queen. After everything they had been through, she wasn't going to begrudge a new addition to her collection of scars when Rosar could have finally slayed Wanheda.

* * *

 

'Hey,' Murphy nodded awkwardly to Wick as he sat down.

Raven was asleep, with Zoran's head resting on her shoulder but Wick had woke when he heard Murphy's footsteps approach.

'Hey,' Wick half groaned as he sat up.

'Sorry.' Murphy muttered but Wick shook his head. 'They okay?'

'Raven's leg was playing up but sometimes it just needs to be left completely alone and have a chance to recharge.'

'And others?' Murphy asked; Raven hadn't talked to him much about her leg but he could understand why and it was a thought that taunted him.

'It hurts like a bastard.' Wick said. 'And she just has to keep breathing and wait for it to pass.'

'So you decided to keep him away from Floukru?' Murphy asked.

'Yeah...' Wick said. 'Raven wanted kid chaos to go, but he's lost enough already. I think he's old enough to decide his own fate.'

'Yeah,' Murphy agreed, but his thoughts lingered on Charlotte.

'So...' Wick said, and looking around theatrically as if a topic of conversation would jump out at them, 'your hair kind of suited the ash look...'

* * *

 

'You're doing the right thing.' Clarke reassured her, pressing a small kiss to Lexa's cheek before lying back.

Lexa had been torn; her people needed her and yet they were going on yet another mission although they weren't even sure what that would mean. The one small mercy was that she should be checking in on the other sites and so she had the perfect excuse to go to the drop ship, but she had a feeling that returning strictly to her Heda duties would once more have to wait.

Clarke seemed more alert than ever since she had woken up, if physically clearly a little tired. Clarke was brimming with confidence and Lexa knew why; the insight of the Flame was enough to make anyone feel more powerful and in charge of their own destiny but often that was the danger. Many commanders had fallen because of their complacency and unwavering faith in the Flame to be able to protect them.

'What is it you wish to find, Clarke?' Lexa asked quietly.

The Flame had fascinated Clarke since she had found out about its existence. Clarke needed to know, she needed to control situations and be able to fix them. The Flame was still an unknown and that gave Clarke hope and fear. If she found out everything about it then she could control it. It was who Clarke was.

'Answers.' Clarke shrugged.

'What if there is yet more questions? Will that be enough?' Lexa asked and Clarke frowned.

'Honestly? No. Not after what Bellamy said.' Clarke replied. 'But whatever we decide, we do it together. If the drop ship doesn't give us anything then we can go back to Polis and I'll drop it.'

'But you would not wish to.'

'If the Flame has answers it could be useful. It just feels like everything keeps coming back to it- and now the secondary Flame. We could find ourselves on the brink of death again and realising its importance only for it to be too late. This would be the first time we were deciding to take charge of our future before anything can take that from us.' Clarke said, her thumb stroking over the back of Lexa's hand and Lexa watched her carefully.

'I can understand that.' Lexa admitted. 'But it also risks instigating a fight we aren't prepared for and don't need.'

'Maybe, but we shouldn't run from who we are.' Clarke said, and a smile played at her lips.

Lexa rolled her eyes but she smiled softly at Clarke.

'You only ever recall my words whenever it is to argue with me.' Lexa stated.

Clarke shook her head, pulling closer to Lexa.

'I remember everything about us.' Clarke replied, barely more than a whisper.

Clarke smirked slightly as she moved ever closer and glanced down to Lexa's lips.

'Your turn to look out.' Octavia said, marching back from the top of the bank where she had been keeping watch and Lexa and Clarke rolled apart.

'I'll go.' Lexa said standing up before Clarke could protest. 'Rest, Clarke.'

Lexa started to climb up the banking but she did not miss Clarke's groan at Octavia that she thought she preferred Titus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Titus or Octavia...which one is more annoying at spoiling Clexa moments? ;) 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, for your comments and your reviews. I adore them :)


	115. War Weary

It was several hours after dawn when Lexa, Clarke, Murphy, Octavia, Raven, Zoran, Wick and the two horses arrived back at the drop ship. Kane watched from the entrance as they walked into the camp, looking slightly weary but in relatively good health. Kane exhaled in relief at the sight of Raven. Her kidnapping from inside the walls of Arkadia had felt like a personal failing and he was glad she was okay. He also eyed Clarke's wound with a faint feeling of queasiness. The injury did not seem to be impacting her as Miller grabbed her and pulled her into a hug but the dark blood stains worried Kane. Yet again it seemed Clarke had toyed with death and he wondered just how many lives she had left.

There was a roar from the people around at the sight of Lexa, and Indra stepped down from the entrance of the drop ship to greet her with a clasp of hands. Lexa nodded to her as Indra gave her a low bow. There was the utmost respect etched upon Indra's features and Kane found it hard to recall a time when the two had been on such opposing sides. Indra had seemed to finally recognise Lexa's strength. The fall of the tower had not dampened that, no matter how much grief rolled through Indra's stomach at that news.

 The camp was still thick of people but since the gates had been pulled down, people were spread more comfortably throughout the forest and it made supply and patient runs and exchanges far easier to process. There were several fires throughout the camp and several hunting groups had departed during the night to bring back food for everyone. Niylah had also helped coordinate efforts between food supply runs and medical runs, which Jackson in particular was extremely grateful for given how he was rushing around from patient to patient trying to keep them alive. Jackson's battle seemed almost at an end although four patients had died in the last few hours, the critical cases were now under control or were on their way to be buried. Jackson might find himself able to finally get some rest, Kane mused.  

After greeting Indra, Octavia threw herself in front of the nearest fire. She seemed little interested in whatever Clarke was whispering to Lexa about. Murphy too, seemed disinclined to engage in the conversation but he still stayed by Lexa's side while Raven seemed positively excited and that reaction more than anything alarmed Kane. He hadn't forgotten the launchers, as useful as they were.

Kane made his way down as Clarke gave him a warm smile and he hugged her briefly once he had made his way to her.

'How is everyone?' Clarke asked immediately.

'Jackson's working on them. We've lost around a third of our people. Harper lost part of her arm but she's recovering well.' Kane answered.

Clarke blinked bitterly, processing the information. The people of Arkadia had never suffered such a huge loss, not even by the Mountain Men and yet here they were, without a home and with so many people dead.

'Why did you need Wick?' Kane asked, wondering if he was going to regret it.

'The secondary Flame ...it had an issue...with the Flame.' Clarke answered, as though struggling to find the words of exactly how to explain it. 'We don't know what's going on but something has changed. I know it makes no sense, but can Raven check the systems here? I saw Bellamy-he said something was happening, that we needed to go back to where it started. Raven might be able to find something of use to the Flame here.'

He couldn't be shocked at the mention of Bellamy. When Clarke had explained what had happened in the City of Light to try to stop the black rain, Kane had thought at the time that he would never be surprised again. The idea that the drop ship could have something to do with the Flame had taken him off-guard, however.

'How?' Kane asked, confused. 'We didn't know anything about the Flame.'

'But Becca did and Becca lived in space.' Raven suggested.

'But never on the Arc.' Kane pointed out.

'It's worth a try.' Wick offered.

Kane nodded slowly.

'Just don't blow anything up.' He half pleaded with Raven but before she could go inside with Wick he called after her. 'I'm glad you're okay, Raven.'

Raven looked stunned at the admission and Kane blinked back tears. He should never have let Clarke or Raven believe they were to blame for Abby's death. Perhaps they all had a hand in it but it was Abby's choices and this life more than anything that had brought them to this point. Raven and Clarke had only ever tried to look after everyone.

'Thanks.' Raven said quietly, before turning to go inside and Wick and Zoran followed after her.

'How are things across the clans?' Kane asked, turning to Lexa.

'Broadleaf have summoned as many people as they can to help to rebuild Polis and to help direct rescue operations. Azgeda will be ruled day to day by their delegation, and I will have veto powers and be able to guide aid until a new heir is selected.' Lexa replied. 'Reports say the other clans are coming together since the news of the tower. Ouskejon Kru, Trishana Kru and Podakru have also sent aid to Polis and that shall be filtered between Trikru, Skaikru and Azgeda when possible.'

'Now the King has gone they have something to unite behind.' Kane observed.

'They always did.' Clarke retorted, a little grumpily.

Kane had to agree; they always had Lexa but the problem was the same old hate and distrust rose, and Skaikru's involvement with protecting Lexa had seemed to worsen the tension in the immediate aftermath of the black rain. The clans wanted her head and Skaikru supported her and yet if possible, that only increased the distrust but now the clans seemed they had little choice but to accept that Skaikru had initially been right and had been correct in supporting Lexa to war. The anger at the secrecy of the black rain couldn't help them now. They had to move on if they were to build any kind of chance at life.

'I'll be staying here,' Lexa informed him, 'until we work out the situation with the Flame.'

'The last thing we need is for a problem with the Flame when we've just got the Commander back in power.' Kane agreed. 'I may not understand much of the technology, but I think we've all learned to spot when danger might be heading our way.'

'Basically every single day.' Murphy chimed.

'Not today.' Clarke sighed. 'I'm going to help Jackson and Nyko.'

'Good, they'll need you. There's a lot still in critical condition.' Kane told her.

There was a loud scream of pain from inside and Clarke glanced grimly at the drop ship before heading inside.

'Least they never had a tower fall on them.' Murphy muttered and both Kane and Lexa turned to give him an incredulous look.

'What?' He asked, baffled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos! Much love and thanks to you all. They all must be sick of the sight of that drop ship. Poor Clarke...had the best quarters in Polis and Arkadia and they both got destroyed and now she's back at the drop ship.


	116. More Than That

 Life at the drop ship quickly began to feel sluggish. Tents were scattered all around, the Commander's was the most prominent and right next to the drop ship. Trees had been cleared to make temporary shelters and horses pulling carts came and went, full of supplies. The camp was now bursting with noise too, even throughout the night and Clarke couldn't help but find it both hopeful and irritating, at least when she was trying to sleep.

Indra was only in the camp at nightfall, and that was when she could actually return from the villages of Trikru. She had assessed damage and organised teams and supply runs to help put the villages back together. Almost all of the villages were in the same level of despair that TonDC was after the missile had hit. The fallen trees from the Azgeda catapults were first used as materials rather than cutting down undamaged and living trees. The Azgeda catapults were also dismantled upon Lexa's orders as a sign of peace. Azgeda had grumbled at the time suggesting that they were vulnerable with no leader but Lexa's reply had been firm: they either complied with her commands or they left the Coalition; she'd had enough of them challenging her authority and so Azgeda submitted to her will.

They'd been at the drop ship for over a week and Wick had politely asked Clarke to leave Raven to her work after she had asked for the seventieth time whether they had found anything and Raven had threatened to throw a screw driver straight through her eye. Clarke headed outside but she shielded her eyes from the sun for a moment as it took her time to adjust to the light. She had been inside watching Raven work for the best part of four days.

The winter had now set in. The ground was permanently damp, even when it wasn't raining and everywhere there were small clouds of mists emitting from people's mouths and noses as if they were some sort of mythical creatures. The fires roared insatiably around the camp and every so often people would huddle round them to get warm, usually those who weren't working on building shelters.

Clarke pulled her jacket around her more tightly. She couldn't zip it as it had long since broken. She made her way to the outskirts of their old camp, and the one spot that was always quiet of activity. She glanced at the ground where grass had grown over the mounds and she walked to where she knew Wells lay beneath the earth. She didn't know how long she stood there for until a voice broke her out of her musings.

'Figured you'd be here when Raven said she kicked you out.' Murphy muttered, coming to join her.

Clarke offered him a sad smile and Murphy glanced at the ground and back at Clarke.

'Weird how things have changed.' He remarked and Clarke nodded.

'I'm sorry for what happened.' Clarke said finally.

'Bygones.' Murphy shrugged. 'It was a long time ago now.'

'Some days it doesn't feel it.' Clarke admitted. 'And other days it feels like none of this could ever have happened at all.'

They were silent for some time and Clarke wondered half why Murphy was still standing there. He was clearly shivering but he seemed in no rush to move.

'She should have gone back to Polis.' Clarke muttered.

There was a slight fear to her voice. Bellamy had sent her down this ridiculous path and she didn't know where it led. The last thing they all needed was for everyone to start saying Lexa had abandoned them again.

To Clarke's astonishment, Murphy actually gave a small snort of laughter.

'I think they've finally figured out they shouldn't doubt Lexa.' Murphy commented. 'Everyone is building their lives back up again. It's all they really need.'

'Why haven't you wanted to go back?'

Clarke had wondered this since the beginning. Murphy had never once urged Lexa to return to Polis, even though it would please her people and Murphy was nothing if not a survivor in life. She'd even asked Lexa about it but he seemed happy to stay. At first Clarke had worried it was because of the memory of Emori's death at Polis. She was something he held dear to his heart but he rarely talked of her but Murphy was not one to let ghosts haunt him; what Ontari had done to him in Polis had not prevented him from living happily there with Emori.

Clarke had then wondered if it was because of Raven. The pair of them had very little interaction but when they did Clarke resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Raven. There was the subtle small smile or glance that was hard to miss but they had not really talked. Murphy seemed to appreciate how much figuring out the Flame meant to Raven and he was content to let her work, and he also respected just how much she needed Wick right now to do so and was giving them their space but this didn't seem to phase him at all.

'It doesn't really matter where we go.' Murphy replied. 'Everything we've been through, everything we've done and here we all are.'

'You believe in fate now?' Clarke smiled, bumping his shoulder with her own.

'No way in hell.' Murphy said. 'We've always looked for trouble and we've always found it- that's not fate, that's our own stupidty.'

'You don't think we should bother figuring out the Flame?' Clarke asked, knowingly.

Murphy gave a half shrug.

'You're good, Lexa's good, isn't that all we need?'

'What if we can have more?' Clarke asked. 'We keep going from tragedy to tragedy. Maybe we can stop that.'

'Maybe we can by just living.' Murphy suggested.

'Aren't you the least bit curious?' Clarke asked slightly incredulously.

'Not really.' Murphy replied. 'We're just trying to get through the days, Clarke.'

'We deserve more than that.' Clarke insisted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) thank you for reading, for your reviews and comments. I think Murphy has a point. I'd just want a good lie down after the war if I'm being honest.
> 
> Fun fact: came out of work about half an hour ago and there's a street preacher in the middle of the street screaming about the word of God and how we all need saving. We've just had Brexit, mate- we're all screwed.


	117. To Live Again

Clarke watched from the entrance of the drop ship as the clouds swirled ominously overhead. There was a huge clap of thunder and lightning scattered across the skyline. She used to be terrified watching large storms from space but on the earth she actually found them soothing. There was something that felt empowering about being in the midst of it rather than just watching from a place she longed to escape. There was very little wind and so they would not need to close the drop ship and most people had simply scurried into tents or under shelters to stay dry but little damage was being done to the camp.

The drop ship was far more empty now than it had been a few days ago. The last of the injured of the war had either died or been well enough to return to their own shelters or tents. The drop ship was still being used as a medical outpost on the first floor and an engineering one on the second and third. Medical was now mostly treating those who had been injured trying to erect shelters or those from Azgeda who wore the signs of how badly their clan had been managed in recent months as many were starving or malnourished and had been sent from the Ice Nation to receive aid. It was a small breakthrough that Ice Nation at least recognised the quality of medical care that Skaikru could provide, not that Lexa had given them much choice.

'Hey,' Octavia said as she climbed down from the ladders and went to join her at the entrance.

Raven slowly followed, taking her time on each step and she jumped half way, landing unsteadily on a good leg and grunting slightly. She winced for a moment but she too joined them and gave Clarke a look that told her that she shouldn't mention her leg.

'Hey,' Clarke said to them both, surprised to see them at all.

'Don't start.' Raven warned. 'I needed a break.'

'That's fine.' Clarke said, shaking her head with a half smile. 'You look exhausted.'

'There's nothing.' Raven marveled, in despair. 'Nothing to find. No trace of it. I even checked the wiring and Wick didn't stop giving me crap for it.'

Clarke ground her teeth slightly. She wished Bellamy had been more clear. He'd given her almost nothing to go on. Clarke and Lexa had both ventured into their own Flames to try to find anything but there was nothing.

'Bellamy didn't say anything else?' Raven asked gently but Clarke just shook her head.

'We don't even know we can trust it.' Octavia said vehemently.

'Him, not it.' Raven replied quietly.

'Yeah, but was it him?' Octavia asked darkly. 'Clarke's father tried to stop her in the City of Light.'

'Your father too.' Raven muttered incredibly quietly but they all heard and continued to look out to the storm.

Octavia hadn't seemed to want to mention Bellamy at all and Clarke didn't much either. His presence seemed to hang over the drop ship and Clarke's mind found itself wondering, in the rare quiet moments, what had happened here when Bellamy had left Arkadia. They had never had a chance to talk about what it was really like for him.

'Weird being back here.' Raven said, after a moment and reading Clarke's mind and likely Octavia's.

'Pretty much what Murphy said.' Clarke replied and Raven rolled her eyes.

'I can't wait to get out of here.' Octavia admitted bitterly. 'Nothing good happened here.'

'It wasn't all bad.' Raven replied, shrugging.

'Wasn't it?' Octavia asked disbelieving. 'Lincoln and Lexa were both tortured here, Monty murdered his mother a few feet away from this spot and we got that damn virus.'

'You never actually got sick.' Clarke pointed out, shuddering slightly at the memory of just how awful she had felt that day.

It was Octavia's turn to roll her eyes.

'Name one thing good that happened here.' She demanded and Clarke smiled softly.

'We landed here.' She said simply.

* * *

 

Harper gave a soft hiss and jolted awake, in pain.

'What is it?' Monty asked urgently.

He had not been happy that Jackson had released her from medical but she didn't need any more surgeries. She just required check ups every other day or so. Harper couldn't have been happier. She hadn't enjoyed being around all of those sick, injured and dying people. Their groans of agony just made her feel as though she was in more pain herself and increased her anxiety tenfold. She never thought she'd be so glad to be back in a tent at the drop ship again, especially in a thunderstorm.

'Just rolled onto my arm.' Harper said, gritting her teeth slightly as she pulled herself up.

'I'll get Jackson.' Monty said immediately but Harper groaned.

'I'm fine, Monty. Seriously.' Harper said. 'Look, not even bleeding through the bandages.'

She did not miss his flinch as she raised her left arm and she clicked her tongue impatiently.

'Are you ever going to be able to look at my body properly again?'

Monty had done everything she had needed since he had found her during the battle and taken her to Arkadia. He gotten her food, water, set up a tent close to the drop ship, he'd dragged all of their belongings from Arkadia and scattered them around so that the tent at least felt slightly like the quarters they had shared at Arkadia, but he had barely looked at her.

'I'm just...it's my fault.' Monty said quietly, finally looking up at her.

Monty was being consumed with grief. He'd managed to find some sort of life since his mother's death but then Jasper had been brutally beaten to death and he hadn't stopped blaming himself. He had held it together before the war but now he seemed to feel that her injury was his burden to carry.

Harper shook her head fiercely.

'First of all, you didn't start the war.' Harper said, a roaring strength in her voice. 'Second of all, if you're just going to pity me then get the hell out.'

'What?' Monty asked, shocked.

'I know this has been hard on you,' Harper said but her voice did not waver, 'but this happened to me and I'm good. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it's strange getting used to it but Raven said she could make me a kick ass prosthetic and you know the best part? I'm not dead.

'I was in that rubble, I had an Azgeda warrior standing over me and I thought I was going to die but I'm here. I don't care that I lost half my arm if it meant I got to live. Jackson promised that the pain would get less and I'm surviving. I don't need one half of the camp looking at me as though I'm this inspiring war hero and the other half looking at me like I'm broken. I'm good, really. It's you guys who need to see Jackson to get your head out of your asses.'

Harper didn't wait for Monty to respond before lying back down and closing her eyes, pretending she needed yet more sleep. She felt Monty hover awkwardly for a moment before he lay down next to her. She was soothed by his presence but she swallowed thickly and willed away the tears that threatened to burn at her eyes. She hadn't meant to snap but the days of Monty dancing around her had made her feel less human, as though she wasn't Harper anymore. She could deal with losing a good part of her arm but not of losing herself and the people she cared about. She'd been through enough pain, she just wanted to live again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI all :) thank you so much for your comments, kudos and for reading still! It's quite nice to get a bit of a break and give them all a scene with each other. They're inevitably going to be rushing off to face something terrifying at some point so they deserve a bit of peace...even though that means camping out in a thunderstorm which isn't everybody's idea of fun :P


	118. In the Dead of Night

Clarke shivered as she came into the tent and Lexa instantly sat up in bed. Clarke was sure it was likely the noise of her teeth chattering that woke Lexa rather than her footsteps. Lexa raised the blanket and Clarke practically jumped into the bed and let Lexa embrace her tightly.

'It'll take a few minutes for you to warm up.' Lexa said, still holding her close but stroking her back vigorously to try to warm Clarke up.

'I stayed at the entrance of the drop ship too long talking to Raven and Octavia.' Clarke grumbled.

Lexa didn't ask if Raven had found anything as that would have been the first thing that Clarke would have mentioned.

Clarke loved the comfort of the Commander's tent, as sparse as it felt. The soft material and the glowing candles made her feel safe and as though they were entirely alone despite the hundreds of people around. She couldn't help but miss Polis however. The entire city was beautiful and Clarke had considered it her home. She felt completely out of place back here. None of them were the same people they were when the hundred had landed.

'You know, I really miss our bedroom.' Clarke muttered, and Lexa gave a soft laugh.

Clarke snuggled into Lexa, letting Lexa's arms and the many layers of blankets and furs slowly warm her.

Lexa had settled into life at the drop ship with no complaints, but then Lexa rarely ever complained especially when it came to her duty but it must have been strange to set up a life, even temporarily, in a place where her warriors were killed in a ring of fire. Lexa however, quickly seemed to let go of the dead. It was not that she didn't honor them, but that she treasured their spirits and believe wholeheartedly on serving those who were still here. Murphy had not helped by making a joke about how successful Trikru and Skaikru had been when they had met here on the last two occasions before. Clarke had flinched at the memory of Lexa's torture and Clarke did not care to be reminded of that moment with Finn either, and even less after Monty had let her know the exact spot where his ashes had been scattered by Jasper.

Her shivering had abated but Lexa still kept moving her hands against her back and clearly would not stop until Clarke said she was warm enough. Clarke sighed, and shuffled slightly.

'Murphy doesn't think we should bother finding out about the Flame.' Clarke murmured after a while, fighting sleep.

It was a moment or two before Lexa spoke. Her hands slowed down their movements to warm Clarke as Clarke's breathing deepened and so she stopped her movements and wrapped her arms around Clarke and kissed the top of her forehead.

'Murphy just wants to survive.' Lexa sighed. 'He's never cared for progress.'

'Do you?' Clarke asked tentatively, her fingers tracing Lexa's stomach over her nightgown.

'We decided to pursue jus no drein jus daun, remember?' Lexa replied and Clarke smiled.

'We did.'

'If we find any information then we can act. This way we are prepared for whatever lies ahead and not turning our backs on something potentially valuable simply because we are too tired to look.' Lexa stated.

'I'm sorry you're back here.' Clarke said, and she shuffled so that her head was against the pillow and she could look at Lexa, her fingers immediately running through Lexa's hair.

Lexa gave a soft smile.

'It's a place, Clarke. A place where I was tortured, but merely a place with four walls.' Lexa reassured her.

'I hated seeing you like that.' Clarke confessed.

'I hated seeing you tied up and facing execution.' Lexa countered gently.

Lexa's eyes swam with affection and Clarke couldn't help but smile fully even though the memories that came to mind were horrendous. They had both been reckless, going off on separate plans that almost led them to death.

'We stick together.' Clarke promised.

Lexa's eyes narrowed for a second, in the flicker of a memory, and Clarke laughed loudly when Lexa pulled her hand out from under the blankets and stuck out her little finger.

'A pinky promise?' Clarke questioned, with mirth.

Lexa nodded solemnly.

'It is, apparently, a serious oath.' Lexa replied stoically.

'It is.' Clarke replied, laughing again but she raised her own hand and wrapped her little finger around Lexa's. 'We stay together.'

'I'll always be with you.' Lexa said sincerely, reaching across and pressing a tender kiss to Clarke's lips.

* * *

 

'Hey,' Raven said at the entrance of Murphy's tent and he jumped in surprise.

'Something wrong?' He asked, sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes.

Raven's hair was down and she looked as though she had just thrown on her clothes rather hurriedly. Her jacket was inside out.

'I couldn't sleep.' Raven admitted.

'Come here,' Murphy inclined his head, and she slowly crawled under the blankets.

'I can't turn my brain off.' Raven said. 'I don't even know what I'm looking for. I've found nothing, that's the worst thing.'

Murphy lay quietly next to her and took in just how tired Raven appeared by the glow of the candles. The rain beat down gently against the canopy of the tent. He found it soothing but he wouldn't have been surprised if the storm had also helped keep Raven up.

Raven, though, did not look defeated by her endeavor. If anything, her eyes shone with a resolute determination that Murphy had come to recognise so well. He'd seen a similar look when they had spent time in the drop ship after he had shot her and he was grateful that the circumstances now were somewhat better for them both.

'We just won a war.' Murphy sighed. 'Again. We should enjoy it while it lasts.'

Raven scoffed playfully.

'Damn civs.'

Murphy smirked and inched towards her.

'If I'm that annoying you could just leave.' Murphy quipped.

'I would but it would crush your heart. You'd never recover. I can't have that on my conscience.' Raven teased.

'I'd get over it. You're a total pain in the ass.' Murphy smirked.

'And you're a complete dick.' Raven chimed, before inching closer and pulling Murphy into a passionate kiss.

* * *

 

'Can't sleep?' Kane asked Octavia, where she stood still at the entrance and Octavia shrugged. 'You don't like being back here, do you?'

'Who does?' Octavia retorted.

'Indra should be back tomorrow.' Kane told her, and Octavia just nodded as she watched the storm.

Clarke and Raven had left some time ago. She'd watched as Raven sneaked from her tent into Murphy's and couldn't help but give a small smile, as much as lonliness pulled at her. She glanced at Kane. His hair was slightly longer, as was his beard, and his eyes had large purple circles under them but he seemed as composed as ever. She marveled at how he coped. He was a far better chancellor after experiencing such grief than she had been.

Kane folded his arms and leaned against the other wall.

'What do you think Raven will find?' Kane asked.

'Nothing good.' Octavia replied and Kane chuckled.

Octavia wouldn't be surprised if yet another civil war broke out at this point. She wondered how Echo was doing in Polis. She'd heard the delegation team had arrived and Echo might be leaving soon. She didn't know where that would mean Echo would end up; Azgeda probably. She felt a pang of regret that she hadn't gotten to say goodbye to her.

'Probably not.' Kane agreed.

'So why bother looking?' Octavia asked.

She couldn't really understand why they all seemed so insistent to go down this route when it could end in more chaos. She didn't know whether Clarke's vision of Bellamy brought her any comfort or terrified the hell out of her. She knew it meant something, but good or bad she wouldn't dare to guess at this point.

'Because I don't think being scared of a monster under the bed is the best way to live.' Kane replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to make up for the last Clexa free chapter, I've added Clexa and some Maven :P 
> 
> Thank you all for your comments, kudos and reviews. Hope you're having a grand weekend :)


	119. Time No Longer

Bellamy walked quickly through the small park that was in between a coliseum of sky scrapers. There was not one cloud in the sky to offer shade and the park was empty. He pulled off his guard's jacket and gave it one look of contempt before he tossed it and carried on his way.

At the edge of the park he turned when he heard a girl laughing and someone whispering, urging her to be quiet. He hesitated for a moment before shaking his head and leaving the park, knowing that eyes were upon him. Jasper should have come with them to help, if anything this task would be one he wanted to be involved in, but this was Lexa's and Clarke's memory combined and he had finally thought he had begun to understand some of the rules of the Flame.

He knew the direction he was taking without ever having been there before, they were all the work of the Flame after all. He was different now, to the last embodiment of him. He knew of how he had appeared before, due to Lexa's memory but that was a mirage triggered and then used. He was effectively a new creation. The same principle but with new mechanics, or perhaps he just felt different because he wasn't triggered solely by Clarke's memory this time but both the Flame and the secondary Flame in unison. Now he was complete.

He carried on, his footsteps echoing off the streets as he passed skyscraper after skyscraper. He made his way for another kilometre before he found the one he was looking for; the doors that had the symbol of the thirteen clans and of Heda sprayed in black against the glass. He looked around to see if anyone else was on their way but he was alone and so he grabbed the cool metal handle and went into the lobby.

The floors were a marvelous marble and the elevators were just off to the side, with a large oak reception desk opposite. He approached the desk when an older man sat behind reading a newspaper and he glanced up when he saw Bellamy.

'Welcome, to our Eden.' Dante Wallace smiled, and Bellamy nodded. 'Well...

Dante leaned forward and Bellamy fought the urge to check if anyone was listening. They were quite alone.

'...Did you do it?'

'Yes.' Bellamy replied, his voice tight.

'Good.' Dante said. 'They're waiting upstairs. The forty eighth floor.'

'Thanks.' Bellamy muttered, tapping his hand off the desk and Dante returned to his paper as Bellamy walked to the elevator behind him, which was already open and he stepped inside.

He glanced at the control panel where there were buttons for one hundred floors but before he could press anything, the forty eight lit up in yellow and the button turned green with the doors shutting abruptly. The elevator rumbled to life and he ascended the floors one by one.

After a minute, the doors swung open and Bellamy stepped out onto a floor which he recognised immediately. He was in the Polis tower. There was a door in front of him and he didn't bother to knock before he opened it and went inside.

Abby and Finn were already waiting for him. The room had several candles burning softly, there was a sofa and small chair that were next to each other and a bed more luxurious than Bellamy had seen in his life. An open sketchbook was resting on the armchair and Bellamy went to it, but without touching. He saw the prominent dark lines that were Lexa's jaw and the care and detail around her features.

'This was Clarke's room?' Bellamy asked, turning to them.

'Yes.' Abby answered.

'She doesn't come here?' Bellamy asked.

'No.' Abby replied. 'She and Lexa created a place together.'

Bellamy nodded.

'Are we getting started?'

'We're waiting for one more.' Finn replied.

They stood awkwardly for a few moments, Abby with her hands behind her back. They were both in their regular Skaikru clothes and looked as they usually did, albeit without any blood covering them. The door opened after a few minutes and Lincoln came in, wearing his old Trikru clothes, although he had taken the coat off and his war paint was absent.

'Lincoln,' Abby smiled.

'Sorry, I ran into Jasper.' Lincoln apologised.

'Is he coming?'

Lincoln shook his head and his eyes reflected his disappointment.

'Well, we don't need him anyway, I suppose.' Abby muttered.

Bellamy glanced awkwardly at Lincoln. The two held their gaze for a moment. Bellamy wondered if there was a little hate there and he would have been surprised if there had not been any, but slowly Lincoln outstretched his arm. Bellamy stared at it for a second before grasping his forearm. Lincoln remained in place, not pulling Bellamy into a hug, and they let go of each other's arm relatively quickly but Abby and Finn both traded smiles at the sight.

'Did you tell Clarke?' Finn asked, ready to start the meeting.

'Yes.' Bellamy said. 'She worked out pretty quickly it was the Flame. She seemed to accept it.'

'Clarke's smart. She can see through anything.' Abby agreed.

'Did you tell her everything?' Lincoln asked.

'Just what she needed to know.' Bellamy said.

'We can't risk more than that.' Finn agreed.

'This is out of our hands.' Abby sighed. 'Everything is in motion now since the merge was triggered. They have to figure this out the right way.'

'Clarke tends to rush into things.' Lincoln pointed out.

'She does.' Bellamy agreed. 'But that's why I told her just to go back. I didn't say where. They need time to work out what they want.'

'She could have worked it out. They could be on there way by now.' Finn responded, brow furrowed.

'There's no such thing as time here. They've both achieved and have failed and have not yet even attempted what comes next here.' Abby cut across. 'This place stands alone. The merge just gave us a chance to attempt to transport from one time zone to another for a short while.'

'Trust Clarke.' Bellamy urged. 'They'll know what they need and O will help protect them.'

'Octavia will follow them.' Lincoln said, and Bellamy didn't miss the note of pride in his voice.

Bellamy glanced back at Finn who seemed uncertain.

'Clarke could just get pissed and storm off if she finds something she doesn't like.'

'She won't abandon her friends. This is too important.' Lincoln replied.

'This is a choice unlike any other they've had to face.' Abby said. 'This isn't about fighting for life over death and finding a way to survive; this is choosing how to live.'

'And if any of it is worth it at all.' Bellamy muttered, in disdain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I know this was quite a different chapter but it was fun to write and it gives a few hints at what is to come. It was nice to do a see with Bellamy and Lincoln after everything. I know Finn massacred Lincoln's village but that relationship hadn't been built up as much as Bellamy and Lincoln plus, Lincoln just understands that Finn was broken whereas, Bellamy wasn't broken (at that point of Lincoln's death) but had just gotten angry and made some incredibly bad choices as a way of lashing out (which in some ways makes it a lot worse). 
> 
> Fun fact: I took the title for this chapter out of one of my favourite books as a child. Not so fun fact: chapter titles are annoying to think of.
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments, kudos and for reading. I'm sorry for the late update but Sundays are just hectic. :)


	120. The Secret Keepers

'It's a privilege you found time in your schedule to join me.' Lexa commented, as Murphy walked into the Commander's tent.

It was empty except for the both of them. Murphy stood before her throne and candles were dotted about, and Lexa was grateful for the limited warmth they provided.

'Sorry.' Murphy grumbled 'How are things?'

'Do you mean with operations to resurrect Polis?' She asked, with a trace of sarcasm.

Murphy groaned.

'I'm sorry that I was late.' Murphy cried out, half in annoyance and half in impatience.

Lexa hardly considered the apology worthy but Murphy looked slightly bedraggled so she decided to take a slight amount of pity on him.

'Everything is underway. People have kindly opened up their homes to those who had their own destroyed by the fall.'

'That is a surprise.' Murphy muttered.

'So why weren't you present when I received the reports?' Lexa eyed him suspiciously and Murphy shuffled awkwardly. 'Raven?'

'Yes.' Murphy sighed. 'Okay. I was with Raven. Happy?'

'I'm happy when you're present for your duties.' Lexa quipped.

'Why did I take this job again?' Murphy muttered to himself but Lexa smirked.

'You had little choice.' Lexa reminded him.

'I could have left by now.' Murphy pointed out and Lexa's smirk transformed into a soft smile.

'Yes, you could have.'

There was silence for a moment and Murphy ran his hand through his hair. Lexa recognised the look; he wanted to raise something but didn't know how. Lexa sat back in her throne and waited for him to find the words for whatever it was that was on his mind.

'Raven and I- we're not-'

Murphy trailed off and Lexa wondered at what point she had become the one that Murphy confided in, but that was not a fact she would complain of. Raven and Murphy had both been reluctant to define things, particularly when they were on the brink of another war, but now the lack of definition had stretched on into the peace and Murphy was clearly confused.

'Give it time.' Lexa urged. 'You have both been through a lot, and you've both done a lot to each other. It can be far harder to work out what you want during times of peace. Raven cares for you, she's made it clear she can't or has chosen not to run from that. You can only wait.'

'Like you did with Clarke?' Murphy asked quietly and Lexa nodded.

'Raven needs time to work out the way she wants her life to be now that war is over.' Lexa replied. 'It does not mean her feelings have changed or lessened.'

Murphy nodded, clearly embarrassed by the conversation at all.

'Clarke believes you're reluctant to explore the situation with the Flame?' Lexa prompted, partly to change the conversation but Murphy looked at her with wide eyes and she swore he went at least slightly pale.

'I just think we have peace, why waste it?' Murphy deflected.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at him and watched as he once more ran his hands through his hair.

'Murphy,' Lexa said, in a warning tone and Murphy looked deeply uncomfortable.

He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, even pulling at the sleeves of his Skaikru outfit. He looked around as if he'd rather be anywhere else but he had no escape under Lexa's whithering gaze and so he finally looked back to her.

'We need to go to the City of Light.' Murphy said finally, and almost in spite of himself.

'What?' Lexa asked, completely taken aback.

'Not in the chip sense. I mean, across the Dead Zone.' Murphy said and his voice was completely deflated at the prospect.

'How do you know this?' Lexa asked, her voice hollow.

Murphy rolled his eyes and sighed loudly.

'Bellamy told Clarke to "go back" so the genius of Wanheda-'

'Murphy,' Lexa warned again, but he rolled his eyes and continued.

'- assumed he meant our story and brought us here but that makes no sense. There was nothing to connect this place with the Flame.' Murphy said, slightly exasperated. 'The origins of the story were at the City of Light.'

'Becca landed in Polis.' Lexa replied slowly.

'But there was nothing in Polis. No trace of any technology or activity that was needed. Raven would have registered it when she was at Arkadia. There was a reason why we had to go across the Dead Zone. There's more to the story there.' Murphy finished.

Lexa half wanted to groan and throw Murphy out of her tent and pretend this conversation wasn't happening and yet at the words, she knew they were true. The Flame was guiding her; what Murphy said simply felt right.

'You're going to tell Clarke aren't you?' Murphy asked, with complete foreboding.

'Yes, I have to.' Lexa responded, but in a tone that indicated she wished with all her heart she didn't.

* * *

 

Raven swore for the seventh time already that morning as she looked at her screen. The two higher floors of the drop ship had been completely transformed. Screens were sticking out at every available outlet and tools were scattered across the floor and wiring hung everywhere.

'There's nothing here.' Raven spat.

'You've said.' Wick retorted, looking at his own screen.

Zoran sat on the floor, largely ignoring them. Raven knew she hadn't exactly been pleasant to be around when she was working but she figured Zoran could at least help. He'd picked up on Skaikru technology quickly and could complete menial tasks while she focused.

'I mean it.' Raven insisted.

'There has to be something!' Wick replied, just as hotly.

'There is.' Zoran replied and they both turned stunned to look at him. 'If you two can't find it then it's not here.'

'Well, kid chaos, what is your theory?'

'The City of Light.' Zoran shrugged. 'Isn't that where everything is?'

Raven looked perplexed at Wick who was wearing an expression akin to if he had just ran into a wall but then they both smirked at each other. Zoran was already better than both of them.

* * *

 

'What do you think they're doing?' Bryan asked glumly, looking across to where Lexa and Murphy were chatting, having emerged from her tent just minutes before.  

Miller, Bryan, Harper and Monty were sat by a fire, finally getting something to eat. The campsite had been crowded for most of the day and Miller had shoved someone out of the way just to be able to clear enough space for them.

'Talking.' Miller replied.

'No? Really?' Bryan joked and Harper laughed. 'I meant what about.'

'Something dangerous for us all probably.' Harper responded, but with a wry smile.

'They better not.' Monty sighed. 'We just got back here.'

'Yeah, home sweet home.' Miller smirked.

'Did you like it better in the mountain? Or in Arkadia when Azgeda were attacking?' Monty asked.

'The mountain had cake, remember?' Miller offered and Monty managed a small smile.

'Yes, but here nobody is trying to take our blood.' Monty replied.

Miller smirked and pulled his top lip up, baring his teeth.

'I want to suck your blood!' He wailed and Harper gently kicked him.

'Stop being an idiot.'

'As long as they're not planning a war, I'm good with whatever they're planning now.' Miller shrugged.

* * *

 

Octavia stood in the camp grounds and bit back the urge to swear. She hated this many people being around. People were coming and going as if the place was a market with a sale on. She couldn't wait to get back to Trikru.

She pulled out her water bottle and took a large gulp but choked and drenched herself when she saw Echo walking into the camp. Echo caught sight of her and made her way over. Her eyes flicked down to Octavia's soaked shirt and she smiled smugly.

'What are you doing here?' Octavia demanded.

'The delegation- or council now- are taking care of everything.' Echo said, her voice laced with bitter relief. 'Can't do worse than the last fools to rule Azgeda.'

Octavia continued to stare at her.

'Why here?' She repeated.

'Where else?' Echo asked. 'I have no home.'

'Welcome to the club.' Octavia retorted, before taking another swig of her water.

'Nice to see you too.' Echo remarked.

'Is that why you're here?' Octavia asked.

Echo merely smirked and looked away. Octavia's heart thundered against her rib cage and she suddenly wished she hadn't drank so much water as it felt like waves lapping against her stomach.

'I didn't ask you to do that.' Octavia told Echo. 'I don't need saving.'

Bellamy had followed her everywhere. It was her fault he'd came down to the ground in the first place. She never asked for any of it.

'I never said that you did.' Echo replied coldly. 'Are you leaving soon?'

Octavia looked around as a group of children tore about the camp chasing each other. She clenched her jaw at the sight.

'I don't know.' She admitted. 'Indra is leading Trikru again but Clarke-'

'You follow Clarke again?' Echo asked.

Octavia considered her answer for a moment but no words came to her so she merely offered Echo a shrug.

'You should stop beating yourself up.' Echo commented.

'What?' Octavia asked defensively.

'Come spar with me.' Echo said, in a lighter voice but it was nonetheless a command.

Octavia watched as Echo walked to the front of the drop ship, where there was any space cleared at all and smirked. She dropped her bottle to the ground and went to join her. She hardly got the chance to challenge Azgeda in the war after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo. Echo has returned! And some answers have finally been revealed! I promise that any journey they may go on it isn't going to take as long as Jaha's little trip to the CoL. As delightful as that was, there's a lot more than that to come. Plus, I type quickly so ... 
> 
> Thank you all for commenting, kidnly giving kudos and for still reading :)


	121. Choices and Duty

Lexa stood in front of her throne, waiting for the others to arrive. It was the first time that many of them will have faced each other in such a scenario but after everything, Lexa was sure that whatever came next they all had to make their own decisions about their involvement. Clarke was by her side and shuffled on her feet rather impatiently and Murphy was to her other side, appearing bored and as if he wished that all of this would just be over. Lexa had not yet informed Clarke of what Murphy had told her and Murphy seemed happy to see that moment put off forever.

Gradually, the tent started to fill and people took their places before Lexa, looking around curiously at each other. Indra and Octavia were the first to arrive, with Echo following and Indra kept glancing suspiciously at Echo. The new truce had not meant that old grudges were suddenly forgotten but Echo seemed completely unfazed by it, and that just served to make Indra look more irritated. Raven, Wick and Zoran were the next to arrive and Raven gave Clarke a small smile and quizzical look but Clarke merely shrugged and that was enough to raise Raven's eyebrows.

Lexa had instantly called for Murphy to ready everyone for the meeting and had simply told Clarke that they needed a new plan. Clarke had insisted time was of the essence, and she had hoped that this method might spare Murphy some of Clarke's wrath, and Raven's. The crowd may well ask further questions before either of them got to shout too much and Lexa thought that perhaps she owed a small debt of gratitude to Murphy after all for following her into war.

Bryan, Miller, Harper and Monty followed next and they looked the most confused to be there, and they barely could look at Lexa at all and it struck her how little she really knew a lot of Clarke's friends. Niylah then arrived and Clarke looked at Lexa in shock for a moment but the corner of Lexa's lips merely twitched in response to Clarke's surprise. Jackson then entered, and finally Kane. Kane greeted Lexa with a warm smile and a bow of the head and Lexa nodded to him. She had not quite gotten over how close Kane had come to killing Clarke, the same with Octavia, but she had understood his grief and he had at least had seen reason. He had stepped down from the edge of the abyss and Lexa had thought that at some point he would have recognised his mistake and ended it before it was too late. Kane had looked tortured that day. It had terrified Lexa to see Clarke in such a position but somehow they were managing to forge a tentative new trust between them all.

 'Thank you for coming.' Lexa began and there was an immediate stilling. 'Your presence has been requested because either my trust, or Clarke's trust, lies with you. Each of us in this room has a decision to make today and whatever you decide you will have my support and respect.

'As some of you are aware, there has been an incident involving the Flame.'

 Lexa's speech did not waver but she would not go into details. Not everyone knew of the secondary Flame and despite the trust of the people in this room, Lexa would never jeopordise Clarke. She'd seen too many plans fail to ever think they were foolproof.

'We returned here believing that the drop ship may be able to provide answers however, it does not.' Lexa replied. 'The answers lie in what remains of this world of the City of Light- across the Dead Zone.'

Clarke turned to gape at Lexa but her attention was soon summoned by Raven.

'How did you know?' Raven asked, aghast.

'I told her.' Murphy said quickly. 'How did you know?'

'I figured it out.' Zoran said, partially bored but also proud.

'How did you figure it out?' Clarke asked, confused.

'The place where it began...it meant the City of Light and the Flame...not us.' Murphy explained.

'You knew this entire time and you didn't say anything?' Raven asked, astonished and clearly angry; she had spent days cooped up in the drop ship trying to find the answers.

'We don't know what the next stage is or what will be revealed.' Lexa said, cutting across Raven who glared angrily at her and then fixed her stern gaze upon Murphy and he seemed to shrink back slightly behind Lexa. 'Each of you must decide whether or not you wish to accompany me on this journey.'

There were shocked looks around the room but Clarke stepped closer to her and whispered in her ear.

'You know I'm coming, right?'

Lexa looked at Clarke incredulously.

'Of course I know.'

Wick coughed loudly and they both jumped back from each other slightly.

'You want us to go across the Dead Zone and we don't even know why?' He asked.

'Yes.' Lexa said.

'I'm in.' Wick shrugged, looking to Raven who nodded at him and then once more turned to glare at Murphy.

'Heda,' Indra started, 'we have just secured peace.'

'I understand, Indra.' Lexa replied with empathy. 'The issue with the Flame was serious. I have always followed the Flame, as is my duty as commander, and therefore I must follow its guidance now. It would be a dereliction of duty to my people.'

She locked eyes with Indra and implored her to understand. Indra was so used to this life, _of blood must have blood_ , of believing in what could be seen, of just living to fight the sword that was being hurled in her direction that this would be so difficult for Indra to understand. Lexa had always focused upon the concepts of peace, of making a better future even when war and death had tried to pull her focus back down. Indra had taught her well but they would always see things differently yet everything they had been through had created a respect between them that perhaps never could have happened if neither had not challenged the other.

'Then as the leader of Trikru, it would be an honour to attend.' Indra said proudly.

'I'm in.' Harper said quickly.

'What?' Monty turned shocked.

'I'm not getting left behind.' She muttered, disgusted at the thought.

Miller glanced at Bryan and they both chimed their agreement in unison.

Kane turned his eyes to Clarke.

'Your mother once asked if we even deserved to survive at all, I think somehow this journey will test us more than anything we have faced before. Of course, I will join.'

'I should stay.' Niylah said, but her eyes never left Clarke and Lexa pursed her lips. 'I can organise supply runs. I'm needed here, I'm much more useful. If you're going then everything here should stay as calm as possible.'

'I have to stay too. My patients- they need me.' Jackson said apologetically and he too was focused upon Clarke but she offered him an understanding smile. 

'I'll come.' Octavia said.

Clarke glanced at Octavia in surprise and Lexa had to admit that this was not what she had expected. Octavia had wanted to leave the drop ship, but that was for Trikru. She had shown little interest in anything to do with the Flame once the black rain had stopped.

'You'll need at least one Azgeda fighter.' Echo said, with a smile and Indra turned to look at her, incredulous.

'I know the Dead Zone.' Zoran enthused. 'It was my home. I know its tricks. I can help.'

'Good, we'll need you.' Clarke smiled and Zoran beamed. 'I guess that's almost everyone...'

Everybody's heads seemed to move at one to look at Murphy who started slightly at the attention but then a deep frown and a look of indignation crossed his face.

'I'm going!' He insisted. 'It was my plan!'

'Hardly.' Raven muttered.

'Then it is settled.' Lexa interjected swiftly. 'Jackson and Niylah will stay and help oversee Skaikru. Arrangements will be made for Trikru in the absence of Indra and we will still have the radios so that my orders may be followed while recovery efforts are still underway. You have until the day after tomorrow to take what you need and then we leave for the Dead Zone.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Thanks for kudos and comments :) And thank you still for reading!
> 
> So...if you were going on an epic trip, which characters would you take? :P


	122. Not Anymore

Lexa was currently occupying the tent that Kane had set up mostly for security meetings. It was much more appropriate than having people require the use of Commander's tent to meet with her and it was the ideal place to be able to speak with Luna.

She had returned with those of Skaikru and Trikru who had fled the war to receive an update personally but to also pay tribute to Lexa. Lexa had been taken aback by this to say the least, but Luna seemed dedicated to peace. Lexa was not the only one that was surprised as many gasped and pointed at Luna as she had entered the settlement, although she carried on with a serene look and an air of calm.

Luna had promised she wanted little more involvement in the politics of the other clans but that Lexa could always consider her home as a safe space should the need arise again. Lexa appreciated the sentiment, knowing how Luna had hated being dragged into all of this. She briefly wondered how her life would have turned out had it been her to flee the conclave; Costia would be alive but then she would not have met Clarke, and her people may have been far worse off.

As a mark of respect in return, Lexa informed Luna of their plans. When Lexa stopped speaking, Luna looked upon her with a soft smile.

'I am humbled.' Luna admitted.

'Why is that?'

'You brought peace, not how I would, but you delivered it.' Luna remarked. 'And now you leave selflessly to see what more you can bring them.'

'There may be nothing to find.'

'Staying would be the easy choice.' Luna stated. 'That may be something that I may be beginning to realise.'

'You don't want to come back to the clans.' Lexa reminded her.

'I think you'd prefer it stayed that way, would you not?'

It was true. Luna had black blood. She could lay claim to being Heda and war could threaten once more.

'Do not worry, Lexa. We are on different paths but I will support the journey you make. In your absence, Floukru will do whatever it can to support Trikru. You have my word.'

'Thank you, Luna.' Lexa replied, and Luna offered her a small bow.

* * *

 

Murphy had made it his personal mission to irritate the life out of her, that was Clarke's firm belief as she finished packing all of her gear that she would need. Her pack was larger than it had ever been with water (although Zoran insisted he would know where to dig to find water and where to locate roots and plants that held water), food packages, clothes and tunics/head scarfs (which Lexa had insisted upon as the Dead Zone would be colder than anyone could anticipate before sun rise during winter), Clarke's sketches of maps based upon what Murphy had reluctantly informed her about the route, and basic medical tools and supplies. Lexa had decided they would not take their horses. They would cram everything into one rover and go to the edge of the Dead Zone and Jackson would organise someone to collect the rover again, most likely Niylah as she had learnt to drive to carry out her supply runs for Arkadia.

'If you thought that river snake was scary, wait until we cross the sea.' Murphy finished and Clarke closed her pack and she sank from her knees to cross her legs and stare at him with narrowed eyes.

'I'm not going to throw you off a boat to feed you to the sea creature.' Clarke said, but she couldn't resist a smile.

'I heard what Lexa did to Quint when Pauna was coming.' Murphy muttered darkly.

'You're right.' Clarke conceded. 'But she'd probably throw Octavia off the boat before you.'

Murphy gave a short snort.

'Her and water really don't go together.'

'You didn't see her in the City of Light.' Clarke replied seriously.

'She's going to have to learn to swim.' Murphy pointed out. 'No boats.'

Clarke rolled her eyes at this weak objection.

'There were no boats when you left.' Clarke corrected. 'That doesn't mean they are not there now.'

'You think somebody keeps replacing them?' Murphy asked sarcastically and Clarke shrugged. 'You're starting to sound like Jaha.'

'I don't think it's destiny leading us anywhere.' Clarke scoffed. 'We're choosing to go but those boats were obviously there because someone put them there. That was the reason - not fate. So perhaps someone has replaced them or we build our own boats. There's a shore line, which means there will forest somewhere so we can build a raft or boat.  If we have to we can find one of the desert people to help or Raven will come up with something. There's a hundred different ways to figure this out.'

Murphy didn't have a chance to respond before Lexa entered the tent. She glanced at Murphy suspiciously and he actually bowed his head and greeted her with a muttered 'Heda'. Clarke bit back a smirk. Murphy was completely failing in his quest to talk them all out of leaving and it was clear he regretted ever opening his mouth about the Dead Zone. Clarke was beginning to suspect he had done so merely to show the enormity of what lay ahead and hoped that would deter them but since Lexa had told of her commitment to the Flame, Murphy's hope had sunk and he'd become more and more desperate. Clarke knew he was only here because Raven had thrown him out of the drop ship. If there was one person who wanted to find out what was going on with the Flame more than either Lexa or herself it was Raven.

Murphy cleared his throat awkwardly.

'I'll leave you to it.' He said but he looked away ftom Lexa as he passed her, although her eyes followed him out of the tent.

'Was he bothering you?' Lexa asked, her voice still that of the Commander.

'It's Murphy.' Clarke dismissed. 'We're all used to it.'

Lexa nodded ever so slightly and her eyes landed upon Clarke's pack.

'You've finished packing?'

'Got everything you, Zoran and Indra suggested.' Clarke said, standing up and stretching her legs for a moment.

'Any last minute doubts?' Lexa asked quietly but Clarke shook her head, her eyes sparkling. 'We don't know what we'll face.'

'That's always been true.' Clarke smirked.

She stepped around her pack and closed the distance to Lexa, still smirking. Her forefinger traced Lexa's collar bone and down her chest to her stomach.

'It's our last night here.' Clarke said quietly.

'We probably won't get much privacy in the Dead Zone.' Lexa admitted, swallowing as Clarke's fingers unclasped the Commander's shoulder armor and it dropped to the floor.

Clarke inched forward, her breath ghosting over Lexa's cheeks as she whispered in her ear.

'We could be in there for weeks.'

Clarke's lips lightly pressed kisses down Lexa's neck and Lexa tilted her head ever so slightly, stretching her neck.

'We should make the most of our time together.' Lexa agreed but she ended her speech with a low moan when Clarke's hands slipped under her clothes and cupped her breasts.

'Then let's not waste it.' Clarke muttered, caressing Lexa's skin firmly.

Lexa pulled her head back slightly before taking Clarke's lips in her own and quickly deepening the kiss. Clarke gasped lightly when she felt Lexa roughly pull her shirt over her head and pushed her towards the bed so that Clarke fell lightly on her back. Lexa quickly removed her own clothes and Clarke couldn't help but laugh.

Lexa pulled herself onto the bed so her arms were on each side of Clarke's head and held her just inches away from her face. Clarke bit her lip slightly as Lexa's intense gaze locked onto her.

'You're definitely not wasting time.' Clarke murmured happily.

Clarke's body rose instinctively as Lexa moved to pull down her pants and underwear and she quivered slightly as Lexa's gaze slowly swept over her body. She reached out to pull Lexa's hair behind her ears so she could watch her expression which was so reverent Clarke might have believed Lexa had never seen her before.

'We've always been too good at it.' Lexa muttered, her eyes meeting Clarke's.

'What?' Clarke asked, confused.

'Wasting time.' Lexa replied simply but there was a trace of sadness behind those green eyes.

Clarke's finger caressed Lexa's cheek before running her hair back behind her ear.

'Not anymore.' She said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody :) thank you still for reading, commenting and leaving kudos. I'm sorry my updates have been slightly slower but I've had a few more shifts at work come my way.


	123. Facing Old Friends

'Clarke, we need to get up.' Lexa said, the trace of an apology in her voice.

Clarke groaned but she made no attempt to open her eyes or to roll over to face Lexa.

'Clarke,' Lexa repeated, slightly more loud but with amusement in her voice.

'I liked it better when you never wanted me to leave.' Clarke grumbled but she gradually opened her eyes.

Light was beginning to creep into the tent. It must have been dawn and Clarke sighed before rolling over and rubbing her eyes. Lexa looked annoyingly composed.

'That was when you were leaving me.' Lexa reminded her.

Clarke rolled her eyes and tried to pull herself up but Lexa grabbed her arm. Clarke shot her a questioning look but Lexa leaned up and kissed Clarke with fervor, her hand running through Clarke's hair.

'I thought we had to leave.' Clarke muttered, between kisses.

'We leave when we say.' Lexa replied, pulling Clarke to straddle her.

* * *

 

Clarke pulled the pack over her shoulders as Lexa finished getting dressed and she almost fell on her back. Lexa swiftly jumped up, with only one boot on, to steady her.

'Thanks.' Clarke muttered, slightly in shock.

'Clarke, you realise that I have organised a cart for us to take?' Lexa asked.

Clarke froze for a second as Lexa's words registered with her.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Clarke asked, indignant.

'I said I'd organise transportation with Kane.' Lexa replied, frowning slightly.

'I thought you just meant the rover for us.' Clarke replied.

'There's a kart strapped to the roof of one of them and we are taking two of the rovers now. Niylah and Jackson will collect them from the edge of the Dead Zone.'

Clarke stood stunned for a long moment and Lexa looked at her, confused.

'Are you annoyed that you don't have to carry the pack?'

Clarke fought a glare for a second as she felt truly ridiculous. The cart was a good idea. They could share the energy load and then as they used supplies, their packs would be lighter and they could leave the cart behind once they had no use for it. It was a practical plan.

'No,' she exhaled with a trace of grumpiness, 'just please be more specific next time.'

'You were the one who distracted me during that discussion.' Lexa retorted and Clarke shot her a dark look as Murphy came in the tent and he gave Clarke an odd look as she was struggling to stay upright with her pack.

'You know we have a cart right?' He asked.

'I am aware!' Clarke sighed exasperatedly, throwing the pack to the ground.

'Hauling that cart around in the sand is not going to be fun.' Murphy observed.

'You need not worry. The stronger ones of the group will pull it.' Lexa retorted and Clarke stifled a smirk as Murphy glared at her in annoyance.

'Let's move.' Murphy suggested.

Clarke struggled to drag the pack and Murphy walked out of the tent, ignoring her plight. Lexa picked it up without any effort and they made their way outside. The others were waiting by the edge of the forest but Jackson, Nyko and Niylah were also present and in the middle of giving everyone hugs and well wishes. Jackson instantly wrapped Clarke in a hug and told her to take care. Clarke couldn't help but feel his sentiments were undeserving. Jackson was a constant reminder of her mother. She had trained him, he had always been there for her and yet as much sorrow as that brought it also helped make her mother feel as though she hadn't completely left her.

Nyko pulled her into a much more gentle embrace than she had expected. She had grown fond of him when they had worked together in the clinic. Despite his love of Trikru traditions, he never referred to her as 'Wanheda' and simply treated her as a talented healer rather than a leader. They're forged a bond of respect and Clarke knew that her people would be safe with him.

'Take care of yourself.' Nyko told her knowingly, once they broke apart.

'I will.' Clarke promised.

Niylah stepped forward awkwardly as if to hug Clarke but Niylah's eyes drifted to a spot behind Clarke, and she was sure that was where Lexa was, and Niylah she stepped back and offered her arm. Clarke grasped it and smiled warmly at Niylah.

'May we meet again.' Clarke offered.

'May we meet again, Clarke.' Niylah replied, smiling tightly.

Clarke dropped her hand and glanced back at the drop ship. When she had arrived to Earth she had never imagined what could possibly become of them. Her heart swelled at the fact so many from the different clans now were coming in and out of the settlement and that this had become a place of peace and safety at its core. After the war with Trikru, such an evolution of the drop ship did not seem possible. It seemed to be a place shrouded in death. Clarke had taken many Skaikru lives here herself, she had slaughtered her own people and thought nothing of it.

The group started to make their way through the forest, to the road where the rovers would be waiting. Clarke and Murphy were the last to turn away from the drop ship and follow on.

* * *

 

Taking two rovers had been a much better idea as Clarke was sure there was no way they all could have fit into one. Wick was driving the one that occupied her, Lexa, Murphy, Raven and Zoran and quite a lot of the engineering equipment Raven had insisted upon hauling while Kane drove the rest of them. Clarke was crammed in the back next to Lexa, and Murphy surprisingly had turned a pale shade of green; the path to the Dead Zone was far from smooth and every few seconds Wick was running over rather large rocks.

It was well into the afternoon before they stopped, Murphy threw open the doors and promptly vomited all over the grass. Raven pulled a face of disgust before going to check on him and Clarke clambered out quickly, desperate to stretch her legs.

'There's a lake five minutes from here.' Indra said.

Clarke quickly volunteered to go and refill the bottles of water that they had already consumed. There hadn't been that many but Octavia offered to go with her. Clarke suspected that Miller's endless ghost stories were enough of a reason to make Octavia want to walk to along the bottom of the open ocean to get to the City of Light rather than have to travel with him again.

They travelled in silence towards the lake and Clarke quickly filled the bottles while Octavia kicked a rock, looking supremely bored. Clarke suspected she rather regretted that they hadn't been able to take their horses.

'What do you think we'll find?' Octavia asked eventually, as Clarke filled the last of the few bottles.

'I've given up guessing.' Clarke admitted.

Octavia seemed to accept this. Everything involving the City of Light and the Flame had been unbelievable up until now.

Clarke stood up from the side of the lake but her brows furrowed when a circle of ripples appeared and there was a low thud in the distance. There was a second thud and a loud crack as branches broke in the distance and Clarke's head snapped up, her eyes wide.

'What?' Octavia asked slowly, watching Clarke.

'Fuck.' Clarke hissed and she grabbed Octavia's arm and scooped the bottles and pulled her rapidly in the direction of the rovers.

'What is it?' Octavia asked as they sprinted, branches ripping into their face as they surged forwards.

'Just keep going.' Clarke yelled at her, terrified.

They reached the edge of the trees and scrambled to the rovers and yelled at everyone to get in. Wick and Kane were still sat in their seats and started the engines as everyone threw themselves inside. Murphy groaned as he landed on top of the engineering equipment and Raven pulled him so he was sat upright.

'What is it?' Wick asked, alarmed.

'Just go! GO!' Clarke screamed.

Kane's rover pulled away first and Wick only just got the car moving as the trees behind were ripped from the roots and Pauna appeared, furious and beating his chest.

'Shit!' Raven screamed.

Wick slammed on the accelerator and the car tore after Kane's. Pauna thunder after them. The ground rocked with the force his body beat down on the earth with his haste to get to them. Clarke swore there was a hint of recognition there when Pauna swung wildly at the rover and only just missed it by a matter of metres.

'Hurry up, Wick!' Raven screamed.

'Smash the window!' Clarke shouted at Raven.

Raven looked at her in alarm but she pulled out a wrench from her engineering equipment and smashed the back window. Clarke hurled equipment all over the back of the rover until she finally grasped a shock stick.

'What are you doing?' Murphy shouted as Clarke crawled over him ungracefully.

Pauna was keeping up with their pace, relentless in his pursuit. Clarke stuck the shock stick out of the window. He took another raging swipe at the sight of it but fell back howling when his hand connected with the stick and Clarke instantly let it go so it continued to shock him for several moments. They heard him howl in the distance and Clarke climbed back and collapsed against the side of the rover as they sped away.

'The fuck was that?' Raven asked.

'Pauna.' Clarke replied.

Clarke fought the ridiculous urge to laugh when she remembered telling Finn there couldn't possibly be monkeys on the ground and yet this was the second time she'd been chased by a giant ape.

'I was worried it hadn't gotten out when we locked it in the cage.' Clarke said.

'I was not.' Lexa retorted, closing her eyes for a moment.

'That thing has been in Trikru territory this whole time?' Raven asked, her eyes wide.

'Yes, it usually stays away from the villages but it won't hesitate to kill any travelers that cross it.' Lexa replied.

Raven looked terrified and Clarke didn't know whether it was because they had lived so close to Pauna for so long or whether it was because of the thought that even worse creatures may be waiting for them.

'Look on the bright side,' Wick offered, after a moment, 'at least it means we'll get to the Dead Zone slightly quicker.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I'm sorry but I just had to bring Pauna back ....even briefly :P The poor thing. 
> 
> Thank you for all of your reviews and comments :)


	124. Sand? It Blows.

Lexa was almost grateful to get to the Dead Zone, despite Murphy's complaints about not being able to use the motorboat and having to cross the sand dunes again. It was with regret that they said goodbye to the rovers; as uncomfortable and cramped as they were, they at least got them where they needed far quicker than simply walking but there was no way their bulk could safely travel over the sand. They would sink within minutes.

Few were keen to enter the Dead Zone. Wick was the only one who seemed remotely pleased at the new adventure but he kept looking behind him as though expecting Pauna to attack again so Lexa assumed his eagerness was likely down to thinking safety lay ahead and not behind. Zoran seemed more at ease than Lexa had ever seen him as they carried on with their journey. He did not exactly seem happy to be back, but he was comfortable. He knew the secrets of the sand and of the people here better than anyone. Raven would often look to him and he would guide her of how best to walk across the sloping dunes so that her leg didn't end up suffering too much with the strain.

Harper did not seem to be struggling remotely. She did not take a shift carrying the cart as she was not quite used to the new hand Raven had given her before they left. Lexa had hardly noticed it at first as it was hidden by much of her sleeve but Raven had managed to scrounge metal parts and worked them together with Wick. The hand could be adjusted so that its grip locked but it took time to do so as Harper had to do it manually with her right hand. There was straps that went over her chest and shoulder to secure it in place but she seemed to be moving almost as well as always. Monty rarely left her side, except when it was his turn to pull the cart but Harper chatted easily with Miller even when Monty was prone to worrying excessively about her.

Clarke never left Lexa's side though, she couldn't help but observe. She always stayed within a few metres, enough to give her space but she didn't dawdle back to the group like she had when they were headed up Mount Weather to check on anyone. It was harder to lose her people in a crowd when they were in somewhere so seemingly lifeless, Lexa supposed. Clarke had the same look of focus about her that Lexa knew she often wore before a fight but to her surprise, Clarke never once snapped or told them to hurry up. Murphy had visibly relaxed at this, clearly worried Clarke was due to transform into the next Jaha but Clarke seemed set to get them all there in one piece no matter how long it took them.

Lexa was always impressed by Clarke's loyalty, however, a slight part of her couldn't help be annoyed by Clarke's people and Indra was also clearly losing patience. Miller and Bryan in particular seemed to hate this journey but Miller's mood was being deflated by Bryan's influence. Miller was gradually becoming far more snappy and Bryan was clearly despondent at what the journey entailed. He never once complained of wanting to go back but he never said anything positive either. Even Murphy threatened him to be quiet on more than one occasion, and he had then glanced back fearfully to Lexa expecting to be scolded but she merely continued on her way. Her patience was wearing thin.

There were hours where nobody would speak at all. The concentration required just to be able to navigate and put one foot in front of the other seemed overwhelming. The heat of the day was oppressive but they could rarely shed that many layers due to the risk of burning and sandstorms. It contrasted greatly with the cold nights, which were almost as bad as the harshest winters that had hit Trikru when she was a child.

Going through the desert, though monotonous, was not without problems. The greatest of which was finding a way to signal traders at night. The Dead Zone was not as empty as it appeared. There was some population here but it was often hidden. The desert clan (Sankru) lay claim to a lot of territory but Lexa did her best to avoid them. The less questions asked about her task the better. She had simply informed Polis that as Heda she was guided by the Flame and would undertake this pilgrimage for the betterment of them all. In some ways it was better to go when Polis was under so much construction and rebuilding; the population was far more focused upon that and so had little time or inclination to question her authority. The fact she had just won a war and Azgeda felt humiliated by the fall of the tower meant that for the first time in a long while, her people had faith in her so even this mission was met with support.

The Wastelanders though had their own secrets and were far easier to bump into. They scoured the lands for anything they could find and it was usually those who were willing to trade. It was lucky that Zoran had ever found them for he was proving the most useful. He knew to summon them one simply had to make a fire during the daylight. Any smoke would instantly bring traders as it would suggest food or some resources. Zoran had prepared them for this and so the cart was filled with wood and items that none minded burning, although when possible they relied upon the dried plants to make fires. The Dead Zone was not just sand, as they had learnt when Wick had jumped at the sight of a vivid blue scorpion. Zoran also knew the dialect better than anyone and could understand the ways of bartering. Some who recognised Lexa, were in awe but she would accept nothing for free and others tried to charge them double for medical supplies such as antidotes to poison but Zoran, with Indra who stood glaring just behind him, was able to get whatever they required. Murphy seemed slightly wistful when they had run into one woman who was a trader, and had a cunning mind and sharp tongue and tried to make as much profit from them as they could. He went quiet for an hour or so after she departed, and Raven seemed to sense it, leaving him to his memories for a short while. It was so rare they ever got a moment to think fondly of those who were gone.

 Summoning the traders had proved impossible at night. The cold of the Dead Zone meant that everyone had to make a fire or they would risk dying from exposure, if they didn't have enough blankets and clothes. They had to be particularly careful, especially those who were on watch duty because occasionally creatures would be attracted to the warmth of the flames. However, the cold also meant that the fires went ignored by those around but Zoran had assured them that by pouring sand in three streams, consecutively, the flames would turn to a light purple and that would be able to capture any attention for miles around. Clarke had questioned this the most, and it had obviously reminded her of the signal for Floukru but Lexa had long learnt that each clan had their own secrets and ways of communicating. Clarke believed the changing colour was due to the radiation that had happened, and that it must be linked to why this land itself had become so dry. However, when they tried this method on the first night the flames merely dulled and a thick acidic smog emitted from the Flames and they briefly had to scurry back, spluttering and coughing. Zoran had not understood, and he'd stood shivering in the cold of the night, looking lost that his knowledge of his home had failed.

'Something's not right...this always used to work.' Zoran complained.

The others shrugged not having any answers but it was Clarke who spoke.

'Black rain.' Clarke said, in realisation.

'What?' Miller asked.

'That's the only thing that's changed.' Clarke replied. 'Black rain fell. We don't know what it did to the land. Trikru seemed fine, even the water, but if it killed people it must have caused some damage. It must have reacted with the sand somehow so now when it burns-'

'It's a poisonous smog?' Octavia finished and Clarke nodded.

'Then we will keep a careful check on our supplies throughout the day and signal well in advance of nightfall if they deplete.' Lexa replied.

The only issue would be if anything was stolen or if there was a medical emergency and that quickly drained supplies. The former was unlikely with the warriors that they had, and few would dare challenge their Heda now.

Zoran was not particularly pleased by this new information of how his home had evolved and during the next day he seemed to be on the constant lookout for anything new that could trick him. He had reveled being in a position of authority and Lexa quite thought that it was likely the only time he had been treated as a leader in his life. The marks of radiation had marked him unfairly as someone not to be trusted or respected in their culture. It was something Lexa hated, and given the rampant views on radiation effects by her people she could understand why the King of Azgeda did represent hope to those who had been cast out. She vowed to do better this time.

Not all of the Wastelanders they ran into were friendly. Some were hostile and unwilling to help and one screamed at Lexa about the blood on her hands for her reign as Heda, although Octavia quickly tackled him. Lexa told her to let him up and she threw him at least ten feet away and he fell onto the sand, swearing loudly. He glanced at Octavia's hand that gripped the helm of her blade though and spat on the ground before walking off. A lot of Skaikru had been shocked by his hatred of her but they had largely remained within the walls of Arkadia and still were not used to the politics and deep tensions of the rest of the clans or her people. Clarke was entirely indifferent however. As soon as he advanced upon Lexa, Clarke's hostility flowed fully towards him and she urged them of without a backwards glance once he had left.

The biggest problem however, came in the face of a sand storm. It raged in the distance at first. A whirl of sand and lightning on the horizon with a rumble of thunder. It was unusual to have both a sand storm and thunderstorm in the Dead Zone but the effect was terrific, and terrifying. It was like waiting for an enormous wave to hit.

They pulled on their layers and tunics quickly, as they had when the mist had descended from the tower during the Battle of Polis. They covered as much exposed skin as they possibly could and grabbed each other's hands. The sand quickly engulfed them but they kept walking forwards. It was impossible to know which direction they were going in and the sand swept over them but they had to keep moving. Standing still in such an immense storm would risk being buried alive. The lightning cackled menacingly but they only ever saw a few flashes, the heat and darkness of the sand engulfing any force around it.

Lexa squeezed Clarke's hand tightly. She would not lose Clarke to this. Getting separated could be the death of any and all of them. The sand raged against them for over an hour. The heat was stifling and Lexa could feel the sweat run down her back and sand whipped against her front. Yet, as quickly as the storm came to life it died again and left the dunes looking as though nothing at all extraordinary happened, and as though they had never been touched.

'Bryan!' Miller screamed, and Lexa spun around wildly.

All of them were covered in sand and Murphy spat sand out of his mouth as he pulled his tunic off.

'Bryan!'

Miller looked around desperately.

'What happened?' Clarke asked quickly, pulling her own tunic from her head.

Miller screamed in frustration.

'I lost him! I felt his hand go and I tried to grasp him but he was gone. He was - I couldn't feel him! I kept screaming but I couldn't hear myself over the sand! Bryan!' Miller screamed desperately and he ran to the nearest dune and tried to throw himself up it. 'BRYAN!'

He made it about half way before he slipped and he slammed into the dune and slowly slid down. Clarke ran to Miller and tried to calm him down. They agreed to split into groups to try to find Bryan. They would not leave anybody behind.

They had the radios and along the journey, Raven, Monty and Wick planted more of the poles that Monty had made to transmit signals across the land. They still worked anyway if they stayed within a short range of each other and so they split up, using the sky and stars, fires and the radio to keep track of each other. Lexa went with Murphy, Kane and Clarke, Miller with Harper, Echo Indra and Octavia while Zoran led the other group. Before they separated, Kane had seemed to be the only one that had been able to calm Miller at all and Harper had gone with Miller's group to make sure he didn't do anything reckless, particularly with Indra and Octavia present.

They searched, with their belief never dying. Lexa knew it was against any odds to ever find Bryan but she vowed to do so and to her mind, that simply meant they must. The probability did not matter. It was on the fourth day that they found a deep hole in the ground and the remains of a plant that had its roots hacked at with a rough blade. If it was Bryan, then at least he was getting water. It wasn't until just before nightfall when Lexa finally spotted a shape in the distance and they rushed over several dunes, panting hard, and found the curled up form of Bryan. Clarke quickly sank to her knees and pulled out the med kit she carried with her. He was breathing but severely dehydrated.

Murphy radioed the others while Lexa quickly made a fire. Miller managed to find them several hours later, when night had fallen and he wept over Bryan's unconscious form. They all gave him space as he cried and kissed Bryan's head tenderly, promising that he was going to be okay. Clarke nodded when Miller looked to her in reassurance that this would be true and he turned back to Bryan smiling softly.

'Don't ever let go again.' He whispered.

Zoran and the others returned less than half an hour later and they all worked to cook some of the food supplies they had with them. They had not eaten properly in days and Clarke continued to work on Bryan. It was over three days until Bryan finally had any strength to really move. Clarke had suggested that he be transported back but to everyone's surprise, Bryan refused. He was with them until the end. Even Miller didn't argue.

Lexa left it another day before they carried on, not wanting to rush Bryan and when he seemed to struggle in the heat of the day they all pulled him on the cart. He found great amusement in this for several minutes, even when Octavia threatened to roll him down the highest dune at the jokes he was making.

'I can't remember what trees look like.' Murphy muttered, several days later.

'You hated camping out in the forest too.' Clarke pointed out.

'Some idiot blew up our tower so I'm running out of options of where to live.' Murphy replied.

Clarke made a face just at the reference to Rosar. The only pity Lexa felt towards the Azgeda userper was that she had not been able to face Rosar in the end, as she had Ontari.

'Can't believe Elka and everyone are just gone.' Clarke admitted.

Lexa glanced at her and gave her a sad smile. She couldn't help but think of all of the people who worked in the tower too. They quietly got on with their jobs regardless of the politics. The kitchens had been a sort of sanctuary to Clarke when she had first arrived at Polis. It had confused Lexa at first; Clarke was wasting away and barely ate in Polis, and she avoided people as much as she could but the loud kitchens seemed to be a place of comfort to her. Lexa soon realised it was the only place where people had to just get on. Everywhere else there was gossip but Elka never had time for nonsense and Clarke had little capacity to deal with anyone at that point.

'Come on, how many people have we known who have died now?' Miller replied, with a hint of sadness.

'Don't start "death by Clarke".' Raven warned severely.

'What the hell?' Clarke asked, confused.

'Don't ask.' Raven and Monty said in unison.

'You lot get weirder everyday.' Murphy muttered.

'Of all the places we've been this has been my favourite.' Wick said happily.

Murphy and Lexa shot each other incredulous looks and Murphy mouthed the word 'weird' and Lexa suddenly fought the urge to laugh. Clarke mock glared at them as Raven actually did laugh at Wick.

'Really?'

'There's nothing wrong with the Dead Zone!' Zoran exclaimed, indignant.

'It's not the easiest place in the world.' Monty whispered, clearly afraid of invoking Zoran's wrath.

'Yeah, we're heading to the beach, Raven.' Wick pointed out as though it was obvious anyone would be excited by their journey. 'Where else would you want to head to?'

'Oh yeah, great.' Raven replied. 'Giant sea creatures that suck people alive. Can't wait.'

'You didn't have to tell her that.' Clarke glared at Murphy.

'Trust me, it's not like anyone will miss it.' Murphy said.

'We might not even run into it.' Harper inserted helpfully.

'Is there anyone you didn't try to scare off this journey?' Clarke asked, exasperated.

'I didn't try to scare Harper off.' Murphy denied.

'Thank you.' Harper replied, grateful for some credit that she could not be intimidated.

'Harper has no leverage.' Murphy elaborated, and Harper's face turned to stone.

'Excuse me?' Harper asked, outraged.

'If you had not gone, that wouldn't have stopped Wanheda and two Heda and so I'd still be dragging my ass through the desert.' Murphy explained.

Lexa frowned at the description of her but Zoran gave a soft laugh.

'Nobody actually would have been bothered if you stayed behind.' Octavia replied.

'That's not true.' Echo argued. 'He's amusing.'

'Of course Azgeda would find complaining amusing.' Indra sighed. 'It's all you're good for.'

'I meant the amount of times he's fallen on his face climbing up the dunes.' Echo responded and Octavia chuckled.

'He's fallen down them a few times too.' Octavia added.

'If it wasn't for me-' Murphy started but Monty cut him off.

'We'd all be at the drop ship or heading to Polis.'

'Don't listen to him, Murphy. We're very grateful.' Harper teased.

'I'm not that grateful actually.' Bryan supplied.

He was able to walk again but he still seemed slightly drained. Clarke had stopped checking on him though which Bryan and Clarke both seemed relieved by; he was not the best patient.

'Oh come on,' Kane urged them, 'how many times did we wish we could be on the ground to explore what the earth had to offer? The forests are beautiful but so is the Dead Zone in its own way. We stayed in a small metal settlement for most of our lives. Isn't about time we really got to know the earth?'

'The earth just nearly ate me.' Bryan muttered.

'Trikru is still the best of all the lands.' Indra replied and Echo rolled her eyes. 'And it is painful to think of Polis without the tower now but some of the other clans do have beautiful sights to. It was an honour as leader of Trikru to get to see them.'

'Even Azgeda?' Echo asked, with a smirk and to everyone's shock Indra nodded.

'The mountains were beautiful.' Indra admitted. 'And impossible to launch an assault on.'

'Less war talk, please.' Wick begged.

'There will be none.' Lexa promised and Clarke smiled.

'Come on then, Commander.' Raven smirked at Lexa actually speaking to them all. 'Which was your least favourite clan?'

'I have no favourites.'

'It has to be Azgeda.' Murphy said and he started listing their deeds off on his fingers. 'Cut off dead lover's head, tried to kill Clarke, tried to kill you, then tried to kill you again, then took over Polis, then tried to kill you again and then took over Polis again and then tried to kill Clarke.'

'Succinctly put.' Lexa retorted dryly.

'What do you think, Echo?' Murphy asked. 'I mean, you were behind at least some of that.'

'It was right the mountain was blown up.' Echo replied, in a bored and haughty voice.

'How would you like it if we blew up one of your mountains?' Raven muttered angrily but loud enough for Echo to hear.

'Enough.' Lexa warned. 'It is done.'

They contin ued to climb up the next dune but Lexa stopped at the peak and they lined up against the sand, looking down on the glass solar panels below.

'This is it?' Clarke asked Murphy.

'Yeah,' Murphy said, entirely lacking in enthusiasm, 'this is it.'

'We should check it out.' Raven said, sliding gracefully down the dune.

They all trailed after her as she went to what looked like a box protruding from the ground and began to fiddle with it and Wick held one of the monitor screens in his hand and got to work. Lexa still didn't understand how Skaikru could fathom out such things but she trusted their knowledge. Raven nodded to Murphy and he threw a rock off a solar panel and a drone that Lexa recognised as similar to the one ALIE sent after them, flew into the air and then into the distance.

'We don't need to follow it.' Raven said.

'We know the way, anyway.' Octavia shrugged.

'You were right.' Wick said to Raven. 'This place isn't dead.'

'It couldn't be to trigger the drone.' Raven replied. 'That never made sense.'

'Well?' Clarke prompted.

'This place is still in use. There's energy being taken.' Wick said, and he showed the screen to Clarke but she looked confused and Wick rolled his eyes. 'There's energy being transformed here from the solar panels and transported. Looks like to the direction we were headed.'

'If there's power...' Clarke muttered in wonder.

'Then there must be people who require it.' Lexa finished.

'There wasn't any people there.' Murphy said, shocked.

'Great.' Octavia muttered. 'Because finding hidden people has always worked out so well for us before.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know this chapter is a bit different but I did promise we wouldn't take our time through the Dead Zone. TDZ certainly gave Bryan a hell of an initiation. It's nice to get people of a few different cultures together (Wastelander, Azgeda, Trikru, 100, Skaikru) and to play out those tensions and layers, as well as the own personal relationships going on. Also, the blue scorpion sounded cute to me. :p
> 
> thank you so much for your comments and kudos. Can't believe you're all *still reading*. You are the best!


	125. Desert Nights

Clarke lay against the slope of the dune as Raven and Wick continued to fiddle with their examinations in the heat of the day. Clarke didn't much mind the Dead Zone. They had come so close to losing Bryan; it had been terrifying and especially how he had just been swept from them like that, but she found a beauty in this place that she hadn't expected. When she had drawn the ground, particularly when she was locked up in isolation and dreaming of escape from the Sky Box, she had always drawn the ground full of life with dominating trees and wild plants and flowers. She had never spared much thought for what a desert could be like. It seemed a shame to call it a 'wasteland'. There was life here and the people got by on what they could, often being afforded little courtesy or respect for their entire lives simply for being born. Clarke couldn't help but wonder of Zoran's childhood, and even of the dead King Soal's. Lexa was offering the prospect of a future but Clarke knew well how slow attitudes could be to challenge.

Harper sat down beside Clarke and she pulled herself up so she was sitting.

'It's too damn hot.' Harper complained. 'And too damn cold at night.'

Clarke gave a small smile.

'How are you doing?'

'Apart from the heat? I'm good. So is the hand.' Harper replied, raising it slightly so her sleeve fell down and the metal was exposed.

'Raven did a good job.' Clarke said.

'Wick.' Harper corrected.

'I thought Raven did it?'

'They're fighting over the credit.' Harper replied.

'Of course they are.' Clarke snorted.

'Clarke! Lexa!' Raven shouted.

Clarke groaned slightly as she pulled herself up and brushed the sand off. The heat was inescapable and Clarke would have been content to sit forever. She walked over to Lexa, Raven and Wick who were still near the solar panels. They offered some shade underneath but nobody had dared go near them.

'The energy looks like its definitely being transferred in the direction of where Murphy said the City of Light was. There's a huge amount of it.' Raven told them.

'Even with the panels this broken?' Clarke asked.

'Yeah,' Wick said, shaking his head, 'I don't think they are. Not fully. Some of the glass is smashed but they're still doing their job. The technology is advanced, there are fail safes on everything. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a layer underneath that was doing the work in case the weather or something brought them down.'

'Which only heightens their significance.' Lexa muttered.

'Yeah,' Raven agreed, 'somebody needed them for something -and still does by the looks of it.'

'How much time do you require?'  Lexa asked.

'None really, there's nothing else we can access. We can just trace the power output.' Wick said shrugging.

'We'll camp here for tonight and head to the coast in the morning. We've got some shelter from the weather here.' Lexa said.

It took almost two hours to set up the camp site. There were several small fires lit as the cold of the night was so harsh that one was not sufficient. Several tents were set up too. Lexa and Clarke benefited from this in terms of privacy as they were left alone but they were seriously lacking when it came to sharing body heat, although this was something Lexa did not particularly seemed to mind sacrificing. The tents were not what they were in Trikru. They were merely held up by small but strong bits of wood they had brought and so hung far more loosely. Luckily, the winds had been merciful on a night and they had not had to go running after them.

Clarke and Lexa quickly retired to their tent. Clarke was so tired that she jumped onto their sleeping area (which merely consisted of blankets and furs) without even taking her boots off. Lexa smiled slightly and bent down to take off Clarke's boots before taking off her own and crawling under the covers next to Clarke. Clarke instantly threw her arm around Lexa, who shuffled slightly to get comfortable and sighed tiredly. Clarke stroked Lexa's hair and ran her hand down Lexa's spine lightly before meeting her green eyes.

'I don't mind the Dead Zone but I think we could have chosen a better spot to travel to after the wedding.' Clarke said and Lexa smiled.

'Traditionally, the heads of clans would retire for several weeks in a place of significance for their people once they had married.' Lexa said quietly.

'Where would you have wanted to go?' Clarke asked curiously.

'Trikru.' Lexa replied. 'It would have been nice to be there with no responsibilities.'

'I really love Trikru.' Clarke said softly. 'It's everything I imagined when I was on the Ark, and so much more.'

'We'll get to spend more time there.' Lexa promised.

Clarke's hand went to Lexas' which were tucked under her body and Lexa shifted so Clarke could run her finger over Lexa's wedding band.

'Does it feel different? Now that the war is over?' Clarke asked.

'No.' Lexa replied. 'It's still us.'

Clarke smiled widely.

'You know, I'm glad you left your guards behind.' Clarke said, her voice low and she inched closer to Lexa, her lips glancing to her her lips.

'Your friends are in the next tent.' Lexa reminded her, but she moved closer to Clarke so they were mere millimeters apart.

'Then I suppose you'll just have to try to be quiet.'

Clarke pressed her lips quickly against Lexa's and rolled so that she was on top and pressed her leg against Lexa's core. Lexa's breaths came out sharp and quick and Clarke shuddered as Lexa's hands roamed under her shirt and over her spine. It had been so long since they had a proper moment together that Clarke couldn't stop the desperate need behind her kisses as she pressed their bodies ever closer.

Lexa clearly felt as urgent as Clarke and both her hands slipped further down, one running down Clarke's back and under the waistband of herpants and Lexa grasped at Clarke pulled her into her and she gasped as Clarke's leg pressed into her. Lexa's hand continued to grasp at Clarke's flesh and urged Clarke's thrusts into her and it took everything for them to both stay as quiet as possible but Clarke  let out a shaky breath as Lexa couldn't control a low moan as Clarke's movements sped up. Clarke felt Lexa's other hand struggle with the button at her front but it was taking too long as Lexa and Clarke kept moving against each other so Clarke reached down and unclasped her button and her fingers danced to her own clit.

Lexa moaned loudly at the action and pushed Clarke harder into her so that Clarke barely contained her whimper. Clarke reached out of her underwear and grabbed Lexa's free hand and pulled it down under her underwear and she gasped as Lexa's fingers slipped through her folds.

Clarke pressed wet kisses to Lexa's mouth as she rocked against Lexa's core and her own pressure built as Lexa's thumb circled her clit and a finger slipped inside of her. Clarke released a torrent of whispered expletives and urged Lexa on as she felt a second digit slip inside.

Clarke's clothes began to stick to her as she was drenched in sweat and she was sure she tasted blood as Lexa bit her bottom lip as they frantically rocked against each other. Lexa released first and there was no muffling her broken cries as her body was gripped by her orgasm and Clarke came moments later, stifling the sound by biting into Lexa's shoulder and the pair were left panting hard against each other. Lexa slowly slid her hand out of Clarke's underwear and she pressed a delicate kiss to Clarke. She looked flushed and her hair was a mess of tangles and Clarke fought a grin.

'Let's not leave it that long again.' Clarke whispered, panting still, and she rolled off Lexa.

'We're on a boat soon.' Lexa pointed out, wrapping her arm around Clarke. 'How are we supposed to avoid it?'

Clarke frowned in concentration but even she had to admit defeat on that one.

'Fine, but we make up for lost time.' Clarke said seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all :) I know the last chapter was a bit longer by this fic's standards but I figured you wouldn't mind a bit more reading today. Cheers for all of your comments and kudos :)


	126. The Wasteland

Clarke woke with a start to shouting from outside the tent and she hurriedly grabbed her med kit. Lexa jumped at the noise and they rushed to pull on their boots and layers of tunics before stepping out into the near freezing night air. Lexa didn't even noticed she had kicked half of the blankets out side of the tent.

There was chaos, everyone was crowded near the fire and hunched over somebody who was giving a blood curdling scream.

'Clear the way!' Lexa ordered loudly and even those of Skaikru stepped back at the demand while Clarke charged forwards to Wick who was lying on the ground, screaming in agony.

Raven and Zoran stayed next to him, trying to hold him still as Clarke ripped open his pants up to his knee and saw a bite wound that was already swollen.

'I told you! I told you to be careful when watching the fire!' Zoran half shouted in despair.

Clarke glanced at the ground  next to Zoran's boot and sure enough there was a dead white spider, that was twice the size of Clarke's hand. It's legs were curled inwards but there was no doubt they'd have stretched out menacingly. They were always attracted by the flames but usually if enough people were making noise and commotion they stayed away and they rarely attacked anyway. Wick must have dozed off when he was on guard.

'It's okay, you're going to be okay.' Raven whispered and she moved to clutch his face and stroke his hair while Clarke tied a bandage around the top of his leg and he screamed again in agony.

Wick was writhing in pain and Octavia, Lexa and Indra helped to hold him down while Clarke pulled out her tools from her med kit and several vials of powder. Indra looked faintly sick as she sat next to Clarke, pressing her hands down on Wick and trying to keep him still.

'No!' Clarke warned when Murphy removed his jacket to throw on Wick. 'Warming him will increase circulation. We need to slow the poison.'

There were beads of sweat soaking Wick's face and his entire body was drenched. Wick's body kept jerking up and then releasing, as though pain was gripping him and dropping him again at its own pleasure and his eyes were wide but his gaze was blank, lacking all comprehension and emotion. He kept groaning as though trying to talk but at most he could only get out half of Raven's first name before his voice was lost again. Tears were running down Raven's face but as she whispered to him her voice was quite steady. Kane placed a hand on her shoulder and crouched next to her.

Clarke looked up at Lexa, whose gaze was questioning yet understanding and she nodded ever so slightly as Clarke shook her head.

Clarke yanked the top off one of the vials the last trader had given them when Zoran had bartered with her. She poured the powder onto the wound but only until the while was half empty and she stretched across the still struggling Wick and tipped the rest into his mouth. He immediately coughed so that half of the pink powder, that looked orange against the orange glow of the fire, sprayed into the air but Raven clamped a hand under his chin so that his mouth closed and he was forced to swallow.

After several moments Raven released him and opened his mouth.

'It's gone.' She told her and Clarke returned back to his leg.

She wished Jackson had let her take at least one reaper stick but the supplies at the drop ship were almost completely out and it would take Jackson weeks to be able to scrounge the ingredients to be able to make more. Plenty of people were still managing pain after the war and the winter was causing an increase in accidents due to the roads and the cold. She knew Jackson's refusal would haunt them all.

Blood began to seep from Wicks leg and Clarke quickly pulled out bandages from her med kit. Clarke quickly began to tie it as red stained the white but Wick grunted again and began to shake violently as Clarke wrapped it as tightly as she could.

There were loud mutterings of reassurance from everyone. Monty was loudly talking about how he would always need him as a mentor, Zoran was half shaking Wick, trying to wake him up and Kane urged him to keep fighting like they had on the Ark. They were lost to anything but Wick, the focus on him was as intense as they had been when entering any battle and they were oblivious to all else around them. Clarke was sure there shouting would carry across the dunes for several kilometers but none of them cared as they urged Wick to live.

Wick was pale and his face still glistened with sweat. He let out a half groan as he lurched forwards but sank back slowly with a slow gurgle but he fought no more.

'Wick?' Clarke said sharply.

'Wick?' Raven cried and she shook his shoulder.

Wick's head lolled slightly but not a sound escaped him. Clarke half shoved Indra who was next to her out of the way as she felt for a pulse at his throat. There was silence in the desert as Clarke slowly pulled back her hand and looked horrified into Wicks unblinking eyes.

'No?' Raven half asked, half sobbed, looking at Clarke but she couldn't tear her eyes off Wick.

Zoran released a cry of anguish and jumped up, kicking the nearby bundle of wood for the fire so the small logs and branches scattered everywhere.

Clarke sat back on her knees and wiped the sweat off her forehead with her sleeve.

'Yu gonplei ste odon.' Lexa murmured quietly. 'May your spirit be at peace.'

'May we meet again.' Clarke responded, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Everyone looked horrified. Kane was staring in disbelief at Wick and Clarke knew how affectionately he had thought of Wick who had never given up, who had always given them some reason to hope. If it wasn't for Wick, Ice Nation would have taken Arkadia. If it wasn't for Wick, they may never have had a chance against the Mountain Men and she certainly would not have had the connection of the Flame with Lexa.

'We need to bury him.' Murphy said.

He was still standing, next to Bryan and Miller who had gotten up quickly once it was clear Wick couldn't be saved.

'What?' Raven asked, looking incredulous.

She wiped her face roughly to free herself from her tears but she couldn't escape her grief or anger, and nor could Murphy.

'What else can we do?' Murphy asked.

They had to leave at first light. They had no choice. Clarke couldn't imagine just leaving him out here like this, for any scavanger.

'He's just died!'

'We can't carry him home, Raven.'

'Enough!' Lexa said.

'I'll start to dig.' Indra offered and Raven looked at them all in disgust.

'You're not touching him.' Raven spat. 'I'll do it.'

'So will I.' Zoran said, looking at Indra with contempt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Wick. Not the best death by any means but the realities of life on the ground is that you can never take peace or safety for granted. Bryan learnt that but he got a bit luckier in the end. May we meet again. 
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos (wooo we've reached 650). Thanks for just reading at all. So much has happened in this story...and there's a hell of a lot more to come!


	127. Standing Together

 Raven and Zoran buried Wick, although they did eventually relent and accept Clarke's help. Clarke wrapped Wick in one of their blankets, his head exposed slightly and Raven wept bitterly as she planted a soft kiss to his forehead and they lowered him into the ground. It was hard work; the sand making it more of a tough job than dirt ever would have been. There were wild dogs that sometimes roamed these parts, as well as boars. They had not encountered any yet but Clarke wondered with distaste, just how long Wick would remain buried. It was not something she pointed out to either Raven or Zoran.

They carried on with their journey for the best part of the day until they made it to the shore. There was a boat around but only the one. Murphy merely raised his eyebrows at Clarke but she shrugged. She didn't know if whatever system replaced the boats automatically when they took one, whether someone was deliberately aiding them or whether they had just gotten lucky. She didn't much care right now. They needed a boat and now they had one but even still, it would not be enough and Murphy didn't hesitate to point out that if someone was leaving them, clearly they weren't hoping for an abundance of visitors.

Indra, Octavia, Echo and Miller headed along the coast to cut down wood. There were some trees in the distance and they would no doubt have to spend a night here. Clarke didn't particularly mind; she'd been dreading the journey across the sea more than any other part of their task and there was something calming about finally having made it this far but not yet about to face the secrets of the Flame.

Crossing the sea was likely going to be the most dangerous thing they would face yet, which seemed absurd so soon after the war they had just been through, but the night brought the harshest face of winter which was cold enough as it was without having no way to make a fire. There was also the threat of what lived in the sea, as Murphy so helpfully reminded them every so often, as well as the threat of storms that winter inevitably brought. Clarke was glad that they had needed to cross the desert and investigate the solar panels, but then it was a choice that had also killed Wick.

Lexa set to work on building the camp, and with the few sticks and branches they had left in the cart she began to work on a fire. Clarke indicated her head to where Raven was stood, across the beach on a bank that held a small patch of grass and Lexa nodded in understanding as Clarke headed over to her.

'I don't need the talk, Clarke.' Raven sighed, as Clarke stood next to her.

'Then I'll just stay with you.' Clarke offered.

They stayed quiet for a long time, the only noise the waves against the shore. Lexa got the fire going and began cooking some of their food supplies while Zoran boiled some water that he had found after digging into the ground. Kane had prepared the tents, although they looked slightly less dignified than when Lexa or Indra had set them up.

'How are we going to do it without him?' Raven asked finally.

'I don't think you need anyone.' Clarke replied gently.

'He helped me with my leg, accepting Finn...he even carried me down the damn mountain.' Raven said bitterly.

'As you would have done for him, Raven.' Clarke consoled her. 'What happened...it just happened. He was here and now he's not and it's something we keep facing time and again. He didn't deserve it, none of us have, but he died watching out for all of us. That's what Wick always did. I'll never forget how he was the one who came for Lexa, Murphy and I when the black rain fell.'

'What if I forget him at all?' Raven whispered.

'Have you forgotten Finn?' Clarke challenged softly and Raven shook her head. 'Then you'll never forget Wick, and there will be a time when you will be grateful for that Raven. Just like you were when you got your memories back from ALIE.'

'I'm so tired of this, Clarke.' Raven said, her voice flat.

There were dark circles under her eyes and her hair still had flecks of sand in it. She looked drained and her red jacket had new tears in it. They all looked worse for wear and it had little to do with crossing the sand for endless kilometers.

'Me too.' Clarke confessed quietly.

* * *

Kane sat next to Lexa as she kept stirring the broth she had made in the large pot. Indra and Octavia should be back soon. The sun was starting its descent on the horizon and she could just make out two shadows in the distance.

'Dead Zone food is still better than what we had on the Ark.' Kane said, with a sigh.

'So Clarke has told me.' Lexa replied, with a soft smile and she glanced to where Clarke was standing in the distance with Raven.

'They know what losing Wick means. All of Skaikru.' Kane added, following her gaze. 'I think it was the same when Jasper returned broken- although I didn't know him before then. Wick was the light heart of the group. He was a great engineering but we needed him because he kept everyone from turning in on themselves.'

'Then as their leaders, we shall have to take better care of them through this.' Lexa vowed.

* * *

 

Octavia grunted as she pulled one end of the thick logs, and Echo carried them from in front of her. They followed some way behind Indra and Miller who were also carrying logs back to the camp. Octavia didn't mind the weight but she was not looking forward to going in a small boat across the sea. She hadn't missed the scathing look Clarke had thrown that small boat either.

'Was he your friend?' Echo asked.

'No,' Octavia called ahead, 'not really. I didn't really know him. He worked with Raven and Monty on the Ark mostly.'

Octavia had known that he had worked with her father too. She'd never heard Clarke ask Wick anything about him, but then perhaps Clarke didn't need to. She had known Jake as a father. Octavia was the one who had questions. Her heart ached for Raven for experiencing yet another loss but she wondered too if maybe she had missed out. There were questions now that may never be answered, except by Clarke or maybe Kane. The former was definitely not an option.

'Scared of the sea?' Echo asked and Octavia snorted.

'Hardly.'

'I thought you would be after the snake bite.' Echo replied, and Octavia knew she was wearing a smirk.

'It would take more than that.' Octavia retorted.

'The mighty Sky Girl scared of snakes.'

'At least I never let the Mountain Men catch me.' Octavia grumbled and Echo actually twisted to give her a cold glare.

* * *

 

Murphy carried over a hot tin can full of Lexa's broth and one of their spoons. Clarke and Raven both turned at the noise. The sun was starting to go down and Murphy smiled, handing the can to Raven.

'Where's mine?' Clarke asked.

'Lexa has it. This is me kicking you out of the conversation.' Murphy smirked and Clarke gave a sarcastic laugh and bumped into him slightly as she headed back down the bank into the camp.

Murphy stood awkwardly for a moment and ran his hand through his hair. He grimaced when he felt sand be brushed out of it and wondered what sort of state he must look like. Raven did not give him a glare but quietly consumed the broth, blowing on her spoon each time before she raised it to her lips.

'Death sucks.' Murphy said after a while and Raven actually gave a quiet but short laugh.

'You're a real poet, Murphy.' Raven replied wryly.

'I'm sorry.' He said sincerely.

'Don't be.' Raven shrugged. 'Deep down he thought you were a dick.'

'What?' Murphy asked, in faux shock.

'He was supportive,' Raven admitted, with affection, 'but you did shoot his best friend.'

'I suppose that's fair.' Murphy replied. 'He was always the good guy.'

'Yeah, he was.' Raven said. 'Maybe that's why we keep surviving.'

'As punishment?' Murphy asked, eyebrows raised and Raven shrugged.

'I don't know.'

'No,' Murphy drawled, 'I just think we got lucky.'

'This is lucky?' Raven asked sarcastically.

'Look at all the people hurt after the black rain. Look at all the people down in that camp, still here and with us.' Murphy asked.

'You're a sap.' Raven scoffed but she wiped a lone tear from her face.

'We can't control it. We just try to get through the day the best we can.' Murphy said.

'Like you did with Emori?' Raven asked.

Murphy wasn't surprised at the question. Raven was inevitably curious about her and he knew a part of her loved Wick dearly. It mattered because the ones they loved left such a profound impact, and one that none of them should want to change. Murphy hated seeing Raven hurt, but he wouldn't want to erase the struggle as that would take away the importance of Wick to her. All he could do was stand here with her.

'And Ontari.' He offered quietly; it was a simple acknowledgement of what she had done and something he had never talked about.

He had spoken around it many times with Lexa and Clarke but they had let him set the conversation and he had never acknowledged it out loud.

Raven offered no pity in her look but acceptance and then a small smile.

'Come on, Octavia and the others are back. We need to fix this damn boat up.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) thank you for your comments and kudos!! I got inspired and was up quite late last night writing a future chapter for this...not the best plan when I had work early and I knew it would be hectic...


	128. It Will Never be Over

Clarke didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse that Raven insisted that they stay longer on the shoreline as she made sure the boat was completely safe to go. On the one hand, she had never looked forward to anything less but on the other, putting the journey ahead off only lengthened the time she would spend dreading what lay ahead.

They had now made another boat out of logs and Raven had constructed a pontoon that was tied between the two so now the boats looked more like an odd sort of raft. Raven wanted extra buoyancy but she was also insisted that they have a way to 'carry their crap'. Indra, Echo, Octavia and Lexa were the only ones Raven trusted with cutting the logs right and she'd also made the original boat higher to try to stop water coming over the sides. Zoran had, under her instruction, managed to create some of the most absurd looking oars that Clarke could ever have imagined. They were particularly long and wide and reminded her more of the bill of a bird but Raven insisted they would be needed to help propel them forward more quickly than the flimsy oars that had been left.

The first night at the shore had been one of total shock for Clarke. She had been sleeping contentedly, holding Lexa when a great snort awoke her and she jumped rapidly in her low hanging tent, making the whole thing collapse on the pair of them. Clarke had struggled trying to throw it off as there was a loud groan from outside but she simply ensured that she became even more entangled. Lexa, to her horror, had been so amused by this that she had struggled to free Clarke as she shook violently trying to hold back her laughter despite Clarke's glares, although Lexa couldn't actually see them given how wrapped up Clarke was. When they finally emerged it was to find themselves in the middle of a herd of four horned buffalo. Clarke's eyes had been wide in shock and Lexa had looked to her, and in utter amazement Clarke saw her fight the urge to laugh again. The others were either still asleep or too scared to emerge from their tents but the buffalo paid little attention as they grazed on the few patches of grass and wandered up and down the coast. Lexa gave them a quick timid and yet amused glanced before throwing the tent back over them and hauling the stick up so that the material stuck up and made them slightly visible. Clarke lay back down in shock next to her.

'Now what?' Clarke whispered, stunned.

'We can't move.' Lexa replied. 'If they see us they could charge. There's about fifty of them.'

'Why are you finding this so funny?' Clarke asked, half indignant as Lexa's lips twitched upwards but now even Clarke was struggling not to laugh.

'We can't even go to sleep without something going wrong.' Lexa whispered.

'It hasn't gone wrong yet.' Clarke said seriously. 'They haven't charged.'

'Let's hope none of your friends sleep walk.' Lexa muttered.

There was a loud grunt from several yards away and they both stared at each other silently until footsteps crept away.

'Why are they even here?' Clarke asked; it was the coast and she had most definitely not expected wildlife here.

'It'll be the salt.' Lexa replied. 'The sea deposits it in the grass and soil. They'll come here to graze for it.'

'I thought we had it bad with our rations.' Clarke muttered.  'Imagine if Indra wakes up. I don't know who will get more of a shock.'

'Miller was on watch. I'm not encouraged by his reliability.' Lexa commented wryly.

'What is he supposed to do? Round them up?'

Lexa muttered something that sounded very much like 'Skaikru'.  Neither of them got much sleep after that. It was another two hours before the herd moved on and light was already beginning to poke its way into the tent. It turned out Miller had been on watch and before he knew it the herd was walking into the camp. He stalled where he sat, not knowing what to do, but eventually he decided to crawl along the grass into one of the tents and he warned Bryan and the others. They did not dare use the radio however to warn Lexa and Clarke whose tent was some way off theirs. Clarke had been insistent upon Lexa and her receiving at least a shed more privacy but that had spectacularly backfired.

Echo relentlessly teased Miller the next morning, which earned a small smile from Octavia. Even Indra rolled her eyes at Miller but she would not tease him, she would see that as an act of disloyalty by siding with Azgeda.

Clarke was sat with Kane on the sand while they ate their lunch. Lexa and Raven were going over the boats while Octavia and Echo were bringing more wood back to the camp. The campsite already had a very lived in feel to it as the sand was embedded with their footprints all along the shore.

'Please don't ask what I think comes next because I have no idea.' Clarke said as soon as Kane joined her.

'Yeah,' Kane said with a slight sigh as he sat down with his food, 'I imagine you're sick of being asked.'

'You have no idea.' Clarke admitted but with a smile.

'You did good with Wick.' Kane said after a moment.

'I couldn't save him.' Clarke said bitterly.

'You gave him good care.' Kane reassured her. 'Abby tried so hard to save every patient. Radiation burns...Azgeda child soldiers...whoever. Every time she couldn't she'd come to our quarters after a shift and she'd just sit for ten minutes. She just needed time to learn how to carry it. She never accepted it but she never could give up.'

'No,' Clarke said, smiling fondly, 'she couldn't.'

Clarke looked down at her food feeling less hungry as memories overwhelmed her. The anger at her mother had passed. Now she mourned her as she had with Jake, thinking of the parent she had lost. Kane still sitting here and even talking about her meant more than she could say but he knew.

'I'm sorry for blaming you.' Kane said quietly.

'You were kind of right.' Clarke admitted. 'But we found our way through it.'

'We still are.'

'Sorry,' Monty said and Clarke jumped at the noise and spun to see him hovering behind them, 'am I interrupting?'

'No,' Clarke reassured him quickly and Monty sat down next to them.

'The last of the poles are up.' Monty told them.

'No radio contact once we hit the sea then.' Kane said and Monty nodded. 'We've changed things already being here. Hopefully some of it was good.'

'I told you that what you had up there would help save us all.' Clarke reminded Monty playfully.

'It's not over yet.' Monty pointed out.

'It will never be over.' Clarke said, with a small smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. I'm sorry for the delay! I had a bad episode with my health. Ambulance called out but thankfully no visit to hospital (I hate them). I'm feeling much better now but I'm still not 100% so if my updates are a little later in the day over the next few days then that's why. I did get my chapter out today though so screw you health, I've won this round :P 
> 
> Thank you everyone for kudos and comments. I'm sorry this chapter has been a bit short.


	129. The Last Meal

'Raven has nearly completed the construction of the boat.' Indra informed Lexa who merely nodded. 

Indra was glad that it was nearly done. Waiting for a fight was the worst part, and she was sure that whatever lay head there would be a fight involved. 

'You are to travel in the other boat, with Octavia.' Lexa told her. 

'And who else?' Indra asked, recognising how keen Lexa still was to keep Octavia at some distance from Clarke when she could. 

It was a constant struggle between the two and an unspoken tension lingered between them throughout the entire journey. Indra often caught Octavia glance to Clarke, while Clarke largely ignored her. However, when Octavia was close she would not rush on ahead. The two were trapped between their memories and their distrust. Lexa and Indra were both on the periphery; not wanting to disrupt whatever either of them sought but keen to avoid any more bloodshed that always seemed a distinct possibility whenever they were around each other. Lexa inevitably harbored her own animosity after all that had happened with Bellamy but Indra also found herself dwelling that Clarke had been quick to attack Octavia when she had found out the truth, and Octavia had not fought back.

'They may decide.' Lexa replied.

'Echo will come with us then.' Indra muttered, with distaste and Lexa almost smiled. 

'Do you recall how effectively you were able to warn two people of different clans away from each other last time?' 

'Octavia is not ready.' Indra replied curtly; she had seen the agony Octavia still carried and how she always shut herself off. 'Lincoln was a great man.' 

Lexa remained silent. Indra sensed her desire to argue but Lexa stood stoically, looking out to the sea. Even when they had been living in hiding in the ruins of TonDC Lexa had never lost that look of supreme control. She had changed immensely from the young girl Indra had met so many years ago. 

Indra glanced across the sand as Kane started walking towards them. She greeted him warmly. She hadn't expected him to even come on this journey at all. He had every right to stay with his people but then, so did she. 

'Raven is ready.' 

Lexa nodded. 

* * *

Raven stood at the shore in front of the now towering boat. The pontoon had a sail in the middle and both boats were tied at either side to it. There was also an odd contraction that seemed to be held up with rope at the  end of the pontoon. Everybody crowded around while she stood proudly in front of it next to Zoran, her eyes brimming with delight as though she had just solved some secret code that ALIE had hidden away.

Raven gave the merged boat a proud slap before turning to everyone. Clarke shielded her eyes slightly against the sun as Raven explained that the bizarre device right in front of them was actually a small engine system she developed. Everyone had been surprised at that but Raven had used the principle of creating tension that would help carry energy to move the wood propellers. There were some issues, the wiring and roped that was looped around the back of the boat was sluggish so it could only be used for a short time and to start it they would have to heave on the rope from the second boat if they wanted to go forwards. It would help give them a break but also extra strength if they needed it in the face of bad weather. Clarke was amazed and Raven quietly acknowledged that she'd have come up with the design a lot quicker had she still had Wick. The compliment did not go unnoticed by any of them for they had all at one time or another heard Wick and Raven argue about who had superior design skills.

Lexa decided they would leave at first light. They spent the rest of the afternoon packing up the rest of their equipment and getting it stabilised on the pontoon. The boat was pushed off the shore, and they all had to come together to be able to push it out to see but Zoran remained on it and let down the two anchors he had created so that it stopped mere yards away and they could test out its safety properly.

It took time to haul all of the equipment they needed onto the pontoon. Raven insisted on her entire bag which contained the monitor she needed to connect with working power units, which although small, needed to be protected and tied down to the boat as Raven was fearful it might get swept away. Water was the next precious commodity as well as food. Although it rained regularly, they couldn't boil the water and they had limited supplies of the grounder treatments that were powder which was poured into water and helped kill off any bacteria, although it gave it a foul taste. It was safer to take their own water. To Clarke's astonishment, Murphy actually seemed one of the happiest about the upcoming journey and when she had asked him why, he replied rather darkly that Jaha had not made any preparations at all. He'd simply put them all in the boat and set off. Clarke reeled at his single-mindedness. The Jaha she had known on the Ark had disregarded the value of life too, but he'd also been clearly full of doubts about his own integrity. The Jaha that Murphy described sounded little more than a menace willing to lead everyone to death.

The last meal at the campsite was a more rowdy affair than usual. Over the weeks of traveling, the others had been lethargic and focused upon merely setting one foot in front of the other. The heat and expanse of the Dead Zone had been overwhelming but now everyone seemed to want to make the most of the time they had left, before they were crowded in a boat out on the open ocean.

Buffalo came close to the campsite again while they ate but they paid little attention. The buffalo had been in the area all day and they seemed content simply to graze so they kept a respectful level of noise so as not to startle the animals but nobody was particularly worried, although Clarke didn't fail to miss the smirk that Lexa threw her way when they first appeared again.

Clarke was the first to retire and she slipped into her tent and started to go over the maps of the bunker that Murphy had told her about, and her notes about what Murphy had experienced as they crossed the sea. She lay on her stomach, occassionally adding more annotations. She didn't hear Lexa slip into the tent and she jumped lightly when she felt a kiss pressed to the back of her neck.

'We're prepared.' Lexa reassured her.

'We can never be too prepared.' Clarke smiled.

'Does that mean you don't wish to make the most of our last night here?' Lexa asked, pressing another kiss to Clarke's neck.

'I didn't say that.' Clarke smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Sorry if the formatting is at all off on this chapter. My PC is just being weird and I can't wrap my head around it :P Thank you as always for your comments and your kudos. You are all absolute stars :) I was tempted to call this chapter 'ahoy there, me hearty' but I somehow managed to resist. I suppose 'Not Penny's Boat' could also have worked given Kane is still around... Lost did have an episode called 'Across the Sea' too....


	130. Surrender to the Waves

Clarke gently brushed Lexa's hair behind her ear and called her name quietly until she finally roused. Lexa rubbed her eyes and when she spoke her voice gave a soft croak.

'Is it time?'

'Almost.' Clarke answered, with a touch of regret at how peaceful Lexa had looked. 'Everything is ready. The sun has almost risen. Time to get up.'

Lexa nodded and pulled herself up, giving a yawn as she did so.

Clarke planted a swift kiss to her forehead before she left the tent and went to grab some breakfast that Murphy and Miller had made. Everyone around the camp seemed slightly sluggish, except for Raven who had frantically checked the boats and the equipment. Clarke had to drag her back to the camp and out of the sea so that she would have some breakfast. When Lexa emerged from the tent, she looked as composed and alert as ever. Clarke offered her some food and Lexa uttered a soft thanks. The camp was quieter than it had been the night before. The jokes were few and far between and were largely brought about at all by Miller and Harper. Once they were finished, Murphy poured a bucket of sea water over the fire and it gave an angry hiss as it extinguished. A buffalo gave a soft cry in the distance, as though knowing their neighbors would soon be leaving them. They weren't that ugly, Clarke thought, the extra horns just made them look stronger and there was nothing wrong with that.

Raven hurried ahead to the boat and was positively beaming at them.

'Come on,' She encouraged, slightly irked by the lack of enthusiasm, 'we'll be there in no time.'

'Apart from the fact the current is now against us.' Murphy pointed out.

'Look, you've got a giant ape and hundreds of miles of sand behind you or you've got the sea ahead.' Raven snapped.

'It'll be freezing at night.' Miller added unhelpfully.

'You Sky cowards are pathetic.' Echo replied, scathing.

Octavia gave a soft laugh and walked into the water determinedly.

'Here we go then.' Monty muttered, following her.

They each made their way into the boats. On the first boat, Lexa, Clarke, Murphy, Raven, Zoran and Kane were the occupants. Indra, Octavia, Echo, Miller, Bryan, Harper and Monty made up the the crew of the second boat on the right. Clarke was surprised that with Raven's design the boats were not a tight squeeze and that they would be easily able to switch positions. The pontoon gave them a lot of stability and they'd even be able to switch boats if the need arose. Kane and Monty both pulled up the anchors while each of the others grabbed and oar and they set out on their journey. Raven had even magnetised a small pin so that she could use it as a compass, so as to conserve power on the monitor pads but Lexa and Indra were more than capable for being able to guide them all on the right path.

They were almost an hour into the journey before the land behind them was almost completely out of sight. Clarke turned around in her boat and watched until it was no longer on the horizon and she felt a similar pang to when she had been forced to leave Polis. It was a feeling she hadn't expected to overwhelm her; she hadn't had a fixed home in months thanks to the civil war but now it felt as though she was leaving one life behind and heading into a journey where she didn't know what she would be greeted with.

Clarke had disappeared into the world of the Flame every night. Her wandering in that world had come just as easily as ever. There had been little change. Clarke had tested it during daytime but she and Lexa seemed to experience it exactly the same as they always had done. Clarke had wondered if it should be different. She expected Bellamy to pop up at nay moment to give her some sign that they were doing the right thing and not going on a wild goose chase that had already claimed one of them.

 Every time she thought of Wick that familiar ache of guilt pulled at her stomach. Raven had not blamed her once. Clarke had worried that since Wick's death, Raven would begin to doubt the whole purpose of them coming out here. The reasoning was flimsy at best but still Raven didn't. Her determination hadn't wavered. If anything, seeing her friend die for this just made her more bloody minded to find out whatever the hell was going on. There was also a fierce protectiveness over the secondary Flame for her now, because it had been Wick's design. Clarke sometimes caught Raven watching her with narrowed eyes as though trying to work out a particularly annoying puzzle. It was not a development she was glad of.

They took turns with rowing so that nobody got too tired and Clarke took care to monitor all of their food and fluid intake. Every so often, on Raven or Lexa's command, Monty would pull the rope so that the propeller would spring to life and give the boat a burst of energy.

The predictions of just how cold it would be at night had come shockingly true. They all shivered as they wrapped themselves in as many layers as possible and huddled closer for warmth. It was a relief to be able to row. Echo seemed the best prepared out of all of them for such temperatures and she enthused that they should embrace it. It was better to be cold than dehydrated like they were through the Dead Zone. They shivered but they could think clearly and weren't sweating to death. It hadn't been a particularly appealing image but Bryan had at least agreed, but he also seemed one of the most pleased to be away from the Dead Zone. On the second day, the wind was their friend and Harper heaved up the sail so that the air itself urged them forwards.

When it was her turn to take a break from rowing, she passed her oar to Murphy behind her but then rested her head against Lexa's shoulder blades.

'Tired?' Lexa muttered and Clarke groaned in confirmation.

'My arms are going to be bigger than Pauna's.'

Lexa laughed softly.

'I think you could take him.' Lexa agreed.

'I have beaten him twice now.' Clarke murmured with pride.

Clarke continued to rest, leaning gently against Lexa who didn't seem to complain. Everyone around them had gotten used to trading little signs of affection when they could and people didn't comment; any sign of comfort was appreciated. Monty would often hold Harper's hand and Bryan would offer Miller a hug every so often. Murphy and Raven traded in secret smiles and even Echo and Octavia traded in lingering touches, although after a second Octavia seemed to snap out of it and pull away slightly, but Echo never seemed to deflate at that.

Clarke's arms ached and she did wonder if they would ever have much strength in them again. She didn't really feel any stronger, although she knew that her arms would show some sign of this journey after a while. Her body had already changed with their time on the ground. She had the scars on her chest from where her mother had tortured her, her arm still held a faint mark from where Bellamy had stabbed her, as well as the scar on her abdomen from Rosar. Her legs were far more toned. There had been little way to exercise in space unless they did use the gym but Clarke had spent most of her time either practicing art or medicine. Her muscles were stronger but her physical strength was still no match for any of the trained warriors that were with them. Each and every one of Skaikru would have their own marks from the time on the ground. Harper and Raven more obviously so.

Kane had taken over the role of motivator. While Indra seemed to command admiration after how she had led Skaikru during the battle over the borders, Kane was softer. He was more empathetic and so when Lexa and Indra's commanding ways seemed to coincide with an increased level of tiredness, Kane would offer some encouragement and a little bit of hope.

On the third day, everyone had grown slightly tired of the sea. The current working against them was irksome, particularly now that the wind had died but the waves were gradually getting slightly rougher. Murphy threw up several times. Miller had started to tease him but Murphy had threatened to throw his oar at him and Raven had threatened that she would push them both off the boat and they'd have to swim back to shore or be eaten by whatever was waiting in the waters below them. Sure enough, every so often one of them would call out convinced they could see a shadowy shape below. Lexa had actually banned these comments and unless they were sure that they could see something they were not to make any remark about what could be swimming beneath the surface.

'I'm exhausted.' Monty sighed, as he handed Harper his oar and lay back at the back of their boat.

'Almost one more day down.' Kane said, noting the blazing sunset.

Harper began to row strongly. Her new hand didn't seem to cause any trouble. Clarke checked her arm regularly for any friction that the prosthetic might have caused but Raven's (or Wick's) design had proved itself and Harper had quickly learnt how to optimise its usage.

'Don't why you're you're all complaining.' Harper said. 'No more sand. No disgusting scorpions. This is much better.'

'I wouldn't mind stretching my legs.' Miller muttered with a sigh, as he had been particularly worried about even standing to swap places as soon as discussions about sea creature shad started.

'You could stretch your legs.' Kane pointed out but Miller ignored him.

'He's scared a sea snake will get him.' Murphy smirked.

'You were the one that kept going on about it.' Miller retorted hotly.

'Hell, maybe a squid or an octopus will drag you back down. They've got long arms. They'd barely need to stretch.'

'Shut up, Murphy.' Indra sighed, in a bored voice.

'I was enjoying that.' Echo mumbled discontentedly.

'Just wait until if you do see a snake.' Octavia warned, completely serious and Echo quickly stifled a laugh when Octavia glared at her.

Clarke struggled not to groan. She fought the urge to push them all in the water. She couldn't have yet another conversation about damn sea snakes.

'Is there anything new with the Flame?' Kane called out to Clarke and Lexa and Clarke could have hugged him in relief for changing the subject.

'No,' Clarke replied.

'The Flame has always been a constant. There's only ever been one incident where it has acted unexpectedly.' Lexa replied.

'We probably won't find out anything until we get to the City of Light.' Raven agreed.

'If.' Bryan muttered but Miller gave him a nudge with his elbow.

'Well, we know there's a whole clan of people waiting to greet us.' Octavia said.

'We don't.' Raven countered. 'We know there's something requiring energy. We don't know who, we don't know why.'

'Something tells me it isn't to throw us a welcome party.' Murphy replied.

'Doesn't mean they want to kill us either.' Miller sighed.

'That would be a first.' Octavia muttered.

'Weren't you the one who kept saying it was us looking for a fight?' Raven spat.

'What are you saying, Raven?' Octavia sighed.

'Are you looking for someone to fight with again?'

Octavia gave a tight and bitter smile.

'If I had been ready for a fight with Skaikru earlier then Pike would never have happened.'

'Yes, he would.' Clarke interjected sadly.'Pike always wanted a war. He was always going to find one. If you had tried to stand up to him sooner he just would have killed you too.'

'Bellamy would have stopped him.' Octavia muttered.

Octavia's guilt at not doing more had haunted her for months, Clarke knew and she also knew that it would never truly go away. Clarke had been hiding from Arkadia at the time. She could hardly complain. If they had acted sooner maybe things would have been different, maybe they would have ended up even worse.

'Bellamy made his choice. You made yours. He couldn't have protected you forever. It wasn't just Pike. People voted for him, people believed what he believed. People wanted war.'

'They wanted to kill grounders.' Octavia corrected.

Clarke gave a nod, blinking back tears at the memory of the slaughtered army.

'Through fire we cleanse the pain of the past.' Lexa said eventually, her voice even. 'The Sky People waged destruction to ease their suffering and put it on others, but they were not alone.'

Octavia glanced at Lexa in shock.

'Ice Nation tried the same tactic. Black rain swept through our lands and caused devastation. How many bodies have been cried over? How many loved ones have suffered losses? Even the tower fell but there is unity now. We have mourned, and we have come together. The hundred lead the Arkers, Skaikru are with their Heda, Azgeda are here protecting Trikru and Skaikru and a Wastelander has led the way across the desert and we would not have survived without his help.

'Things would be much different had Trikru spoken with you first before throwing a spear as a warning about the border of the Mountain. It would be different if the hundred had not captured and tortured one of Trikru or if the peace talks had not inevitably ended with both sides accidentally trying to kill the other in a misguided sense of trying to protect themselves but the peace might not be as strong. We've seen what we can do to each other. We aren't afraid of war, we've seen it too much. It's the easier choice. We've chosen to live...together. That is a lot to be proud of.'

Clarke let Lexa's words wash over her like the steady beat of the tide. She wanted to take Lexa's hand but Lexa was still sat in front of her, with her back to her. She glanced across the pontoon to Octavia where she had not been successful hiding her tears and she rubbed her face roughly, as though insulted they had fallen at all, especially in front of people.

'I thought I'd hate Ice Nation forever after Jasper...' Monty confessed. 'But I'm glad Echo's here.'

'You'd be dead without me.' Echo shrugged but she wore a small smile and Monty rolled his eyes.

'Your confidence is as high as the peaks of your mountain, and yet you nor your clan have achieved very much.' Indra commented.

'How many years was it that Trikru lived in fear of us?' Echo challenged.

'And how quickly did we kick both your asses once we landed?' Miller joked but he was met with a glare by both Indra and Echo and dropped his head and began to row much more quickly.

They rowed on, trading jokes and barbs as the sun set. It was quickly turning into the worst night so far as the wind picked up and the temperature plummeted. Within an hour, Clarke could see the mist of her breath before her face. The stars weren't the only source of light though as Raven reached across to the pontoon and turned on several of the torches and lights they had taken with them.

'I feel sick again.' Murphy groaned, as the waves began to pick up in power again and the boats kept dipping up and down at their mercy.

'Don't vomit on me.' Clarke warned.

'Thanks for the concern.' Murphy replied, entirely sarcastic.

The temperature continued to dip and the cold was made a thousand times worse when the water began to slosh over the sides and spray them all. Those who didn't row, bucketed the water that came in. Their feet were freezing and their teeth chattered, although it could not be heard over the sounds of the waves rolling and they were enormous. Clarke had been worried that they would be drowned and forced under them due to their sheer size but Raven's boat rode each wave superbly and though water did come in, they were able to throw it back out between each big wave.

They all shifted in the boats so they were tighter together to try to keep warm. Clarke would have wanted them to change position every so often; she didn't like the fact that in their boat Lexa and Kane were constantly going to be on the outside of the huddle and therefore exposed but with the waves as thunderous as they were there was no way they could risk it. They could easily fall overboard or a wave could sweep them away.

Every so often the boat seemed to surge against the waves a little and Clarke assumed Monty must have been reaching over to pull the rope when possible to propel them forwards. Clarke tried to urge him to be careful but her voice was muffled across the waves and she was sure he couldn't hear her. She tried to glance back but they dipped down over another wave and water sprayed over her head. She was sure she heard Murphy wretch behind her.

Clarke wrapped her arms tightly around Lexa as they went over another tremendous wave. She felt Lexa's hands close around her arms and she rested her head on Lexa's shoulder, hoping this would be enough to keep them warm. She couldn't stop shivering but Lexa felt as stoic as ever and Clarke hoped that wasn't just because she was shivering so much she couldn't feel that Lexa was too.

Clarke was still wrapped in countless layers but the water seemed to seep through almost all of them and her legs were soaked from where the water had sloshed over the sides. Her toes were in agony and she tried to move them but she wasn't sure if she had or not. All she could feel was a throbbing pain in each of them.

She didn't know how long they were sat for, riding the waves. Lexa's head lolled slightly and Clarke sat up alert and frankly shook Lexa's arm.

'Lexa?' She prompted loudly in her ear.

'I'm fine.' Lexa replied but Clarke could barely hear her over the noise.

She cupped Lexa's cheek and urged her head round and Lexa's eyes were fighting to stay open. She definitely wasn't shivering but she was mumbling something that Clarke was sure was some promise that she was okay. Clarke cursed loudly and she watched as the boat rose up over another great wave and her stomach plummeted down with the boat as they went over the other side. Before the next wave could take them away again, Clarke pushed Lexa back and swiftly changed their positions and Murphy yelled in shock. Clarke was facing backwards as they crashed down another wave and she barely managed to cling to the boat.

Clarke yanked off her top layer of fur and wrapped Lexa in it. Murphy watched her in surprise but understanding quickly flickered in his eyes and he did the same. The pair of them tightly wrapped themselves around Lexa and began to stroke her roughly. Murphy on her back and Clarke over her arms and shoulders, desperately trying to stimulate circulation. Clarke yelled at Lexa, over the noise of the ocean, to stay awake and Lexa blinked groggily but she she nodded slightly and began to fight the drowsiness. The spray kept coming over the sides and Clarke's hands were wrinkled and drenched. The pain in them from the freezing water subsided until they were completely numb but they wouldn't stop their motions over Lexa.

Murphy and Clarke traded looks of concern but they kept encouraging Lexa to talk to them as they continued to rock over the waves. Clarke was shivering violently but she was sure that as the darkness of the night seemed to be easing that the waves were becoming slightly less ferocious. They didn't seem to be climbing so high and Murphy had even gotten a little colour back. They needed to bucket the water out of the boat less frequently too and as dawn broke, the waves were much more calm. Barely any spray was thrown at them as they made their way through the sea.

Lexa looked pale but much more alert as the sun began to rise and thankfully began to warm the sea. Clarke and Murphy still did not stop trying to warm Lexa and as the waves threatened the boat less, Clarke swung Lexa's boots up and over her so that her legs were out of the small puddle of water that was on the floor. As she began to rub Lexa's legs there was a broken sob and Clarke spun her head to the direction of the other boat.

Monty was slumped across the back of the boat, his head against the side as though he were merely asleep but flecks of ice clung to the ends of his fringe. Harper was trying to shake him awake and Miller was turned in his seat, sobbing, with his head in his hands. Clarke gave Raven an exhausted and grief stricken glance before she unsteadily pulled herself up and dragged herself across the pontoon. Her hands struggled to grip at the logs and she could barely feel her fingers. She rolled slightly but gave herself a great heave across the square pontoon. She landed clumsily in the other boat and Octavia grabbed her quickly and helped her to her feet. Miller and Bryan moved to let her by but their arms held her firmly. She didn't have the energy to thank them.

She dropped to her knees and they stung slightly as they hit the wood and Harper shakily moved to let Clarke to Monty. Clarke leaned forward and checked for a pulse and she closed her eyes briefly when she found none. Almost automatically, Clarke pulled Monty so that he was flat on the floor of the boat and she straddled him in the tight space and began to compress his chest.

'Clarke,' Octavia started, pleading.

'He just needs to get his circulation moving.' Clarke replied, breathless and weary.

Clarke pressed down repeatedly on Monty's chest but Harper's hand closed on her shoulder and she froze before her next compression.

'He's gone.' Harper whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Monty :( Sorry for yet another death. It's only the third none murder death I've had... I think (Emori, Wick and now Monty?). Oh I suppose Rosar, but let's just forget her. 
> 
> Thank you all for still reading, even though I keep killing everyone off. Thank you for comments and kudos and please, don't hate me ;)


	131. Elevated Plateau

Wick gasped with a start and jolted up in his bed, gripping the sheets. He panted heavily and clung to the sheets tighter as if trying to hold onto the earth itself, except that he was not on earth: this was his old quaters in the Ark. He looked around shakily and before pulling himself up, completely naked. He walked over to the far side of the room where there was his battered storage cabinet. He put one foot on a shelf midway up and pulled himself so that he was level with the small rectangular window that he had on the Ark but he slipped in surprise, hitting his chin off the top of cabinet as he landed ungracefully on his feet. He groaned in pain and raised a hand to his chin, expecting to see blood but his hand was clean. He threw the cabinet a dark look and scratched the back of his head in confusion. The window hadn't shown the depths of space but a bright blue sky.

He glanced around but his room looked exactly as it had always been. There was a monitor pad on his cabinet, whose screen had a photo of him with his mother from the night they had celebrated his hiring by Sinclair into engineering. Various tools and gadgets were strewn across his rather untidy room. He made his way to the drawers beside his bed and pulled his clothes on rather hurriedly before he stepped out of what was once his home.

The heel of his shoe knocked off the back of the door when he stood in the corridor and found it was no longer the Ark that he remembered. It was warmer for one thing, but the corridors weren't made of metal but of a cream marble and they seemed to curve round either side as though leading into a big circle. They were also empty.

He scrunched up his face in annoyance before choosing to go right. He only walked around for a few dozen feet until he could see where the other path met his and in the wall was a large metal door with a figure of eight on it. Wick let out a loud groan. He knew what that meant. He'd spent enough time with Raven and the Flame. His hand hovered over the metal door handle but he quickly retracted it it. He glanced helplessly along the corridor before deciding that obviously nobody was going to rescue him, and he groaned loudly again before he wrenched the door open.

The room was made of cream marble but several glass chandeliers were in a row on the ceiling. There was a small passageway until the room opened out. He ignored the woman standing in the middle of the room, with her hair tied back in a ponytail and wearing an expression of curiosity and he stepped forward to the end of the room where that was dominated by windows. The room was circular and standing so close to the edge gave the impression that he might fall off at any second given that they were hundreds of feet up and Wick was currently looking down on the ground that was teaming with life.

'I'm-'

'I know who you are.' He cut off, but he winced slightly at his own harsh tone although he still did not turn around and she didn't make any effort to walk towards him either.

'You can see anywhere you want.' Becca said.

The image changed at her words and instead of looking down at a forest full of people, he was watching the activity at the drop ship. Niylah was unloading a rover and people were coming and going as they pleased. The drop ship had changed greatly; the dark metal of the ship was still prominent but it was surrounded by new buildings made of wood and stone. The drop ship looked as though it was some sort of medical facility as Jackson emerged and grabbed the new supplies from Niylah but the rest of the area now looked like a settlement in its own right. The wall still had not been restored.

'How am I seeing this?' Wick asked.

'Because you chose to.' Becca answered.

Wick nodded slowly.

'I'm not going to like what comes next, am I?' He asked, with a small smile as he cocked his head to look at her.

'What comes next doesn't really involve you.' Becca replied gently, taking a step towards him and Wick rolled his eyes before turning properly to see her.

He kept his back to the window; he didn't want to look at the world below any more. He hadn't seen the faces of any of his friends.

'Why am I here now?' He asked. 'I just woke up and-'

'It did not just happen.' Becca shook her head.

'Then how-'

'You died.' She said simply, but there was a trace of regret behind her words.

Wick's heart lurched as the memories overtook him. The pain in his leg suddenly felt real but he looked down and there was no sand, no spider and none of this friends.

'Damn spider...' He muttered.

'It isn't the best way to go.' Becca admitted and Wick let out a small chuckle.

'No, I guess not. Bellamy went out in a hard core duel to the death and all I got was a lousy spider bite.'

He remembered Raven and Zoran crying, Clarke desperately trying to save him as Clarke always would and he remembered Kane looking at him, knowing what was coming. He'd had nightmares about facing that day. He'd had nightmares about fighting in wars and having to kill to live and it turned out a spider was his biggest threat.

'At least you didn't have to try to kill your friend.' Becca offered.

'I think at times I would have liked to.' Wick muttered; Arkadia hadn't been the easiest place to live.  'Why me?'

It was the only thing he could think to ask. He hadn't seen any of the others walking around. The corridors had been empty. In his heart, he'd half expected to see Sinclair greet him or had at least hoped.

Becca eyed him questioningly with a small smile.

'You created the Flame.' Becca said, almost as if reminding him.

'One of them.' He said.

'Yes, but now they cannot exist alone. You and I both created them.' Becca replied.

'So we're in charge?' Wick asked playfully.

'Clarke and Lexa are.' Becca replied seriously. 'Others have also entered this existence but they are not original creations.'

'What does that mean?' Wick asked.

'Abby, Finn, Lincoln and Bellamy are here. Clarke required use of them. They are something between memories and her hopes but just has difficult to grasp.'

Bellamy had been the one to urge Clarke where to go. He had been her way of understanding the Flame. Bellamy was Clarke's creation and her guide.

'Never pictured Bellamy as a tour guide for the subconscious.' Wick retorted.

'They are unlikely to appear again and they have little control, except for when Clarke had required them to try to understand what was happening.'

'So how the hell am I here?' Wick repeated, getting increasingly exasperated.

'You made the Flame.' Becca replied, her voice carrying equal annoyance that he was still not grasping the simple fact and Wick suddenly thought he was back in Earth Skills. 'You put yourself into it. It was your world, your design. You put two halves of the same soul together. The Flames now cannot exist apart. I am not just here because of the black blood but that's what allowed me to be present earlier.'

'Earlier than what?'

'Your Flame never took your blood so you could not enter earlier. Whether you knew it or not you created your own imprint on this world. It was yours. Your death triggered your realisation into this world. Clarke logged the death and so the Flame realised you.'

Wick scratched the back of his head roughly again but then stared at his hand for a whole second before he quickly slapped his own face.

'There's still pain.' Becca deadpanned and Wick stroked along his jaw rather dramatically.

'Just checking.'

'ALIE is not here. Clarke and Lexa finished her.' Becca retorted impatiently.

Wick knew that she felt personally offended about ALIE's creation and let down. Her project went in a direction she hadn't foreseen. It would be a blow to any engineer's ego.

'They said you helped a bit.' He offered kindly and her face suddenly relaxed and she gave a hint of a smile for a brief second before rolling her eyes.

'There's more important things to discuss than her.'

'Then what?' Wick asked half laughing, raising his arms and looking around the huge circular room.

'The nature of the Flame has greatly changed.' Becca answered seriously again. 'The connection holds not because of the technology but because of Lexa and Clarke's connection.'

'The connection only holds because they allow it to?' Wick asked.

'The very future of life on the ground depends on those two and what happens next.' Becca nodded. 'We have both caused this.'

'How?' Wick scoffed, as though accused of the most terrible crime.

'They were our choices.' Becca replied simply. 'Lexa was my choice, Clarke was yours.'

'She was our leader.' Wick pointed out, slightly indignant.

He'd make the same choice again. Clarke had been the only real contender.

'Clarke was the hundred.' Becca corrected. 'The best and worst of all of them. You chose the hundred, not Skaikru. You saw their worth.'

'We needed a bridge. Ontari's blood offered that.' Wick pointed out but then he looked around suddenly with wide eyes. 'Why isn't she here?'

Becca smirked.

'She can't just jump out at you.'

'I know.' Wick shrugged with a confidence he did not feel.

'Ontari didn't take the Flame.' Becca explained. 'Clarke's system did. She was the true host. By the time Ontari's blood reached the Flame, it had already been through Clarke's system. Clarke's blood pounded through it, Ontari's was blended with hers enough to stop death but not enough so that the Flame recognised her.

'Black blood was an important element of the Flame but it was not everything.' Becca went on. 'I lived on the ground. I saw the fight for life and for power. I was worried that without a way to limit access to the Flame, anyone would try to take it. Those with black blood were the only ones who could take it and so it protected them all. The Nightbloods were chosen to lead and they were trained towards that end. The best were the only ones who got that choice and that burden.'

'So kids ended up slaughtering kids?' Wick asked bitterly.

'That wasn't supposed to happen.' Becca said quickly. 'That tradition was brought in after my death.'

'Yeah, by whichever commander came next because either they were too bloodthirsty or too weak to stop _blood must have blood_ before it even started.' Wick replied, exasperated. 'It's not like it was the first time one of your creations reacted in a way you didn't expect.'

'I gave people a choice. How they choose to live is up to them alone.' Becca defended. 'You chose Clarke. Someone loved and hated, admired and feared. You chose her but no one else got a say in that.'

'We needed Ontari's-'

'You're a great engineer, are you not?' Becca shot. 'You would have found a way. You chose Clarke. I made my decision with my head, you went with your heart. Different choices that no one else took and yet here we are, united, just like our chosen ones.'

'They'd have found a way to be in this together anyway.' Wick muttered, surly.

'Because we would have allowed them.' Becca replied softly. 'We all have our choices. They haven't done anything alone. To lead, people must be willing to follow. Lexa has shouldered burdens alone for a very long time until she met Clarke. She was always took quick to absolve her people of responsibility and yet carried it all herself.'

'Sounds familiar.' Wick admitted, thinking of his choice.

'When they reach the City of Light they will finally meet their choice of how they want to live. A union of minds and souls has taken place. I learnt from ALIE. We need free will. The choice must be theirs but when it is made it cannot be unlocked by anyone else, except them. They are the commanders. Their spirits will live but so will their choice.'

'What choice?' Wick quizzed.

'An elevated plateau.' Becca replied, with a wry smile and Wick laughed softly.

'Maybe Raven was right about our egos.' Wick smirked.

'You haven't seen what else there is.' Becca challenged, with a smile.

'Oh, believe me, I have seen more than enough of your creations.' Wick shot back. 'They're never going to choose it.'

'Why wouldn't they want a better life?' Becca teased.

'I know them, they won't.' Wick countered smugly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all :) I'm sorry for the lack of Clexa. Hopefully the chat about Clexa was enough to satisfy you guys :P I thought it would be nice to slot this chapter in here after the death as it stops it getting quite too dark and helps break up the fic a bit. I might be able to get a Clexa chapter out later but no promises. 
> 
> This was a really fun chapter to write. It's been great to play with the history of the grounders but also look at the core concepts of leadership and 'the chosen one'. Given how mysterious things are at the moment I wanted to give a bit more explanation behind the AIs and how they work. Plus, I really wanted to address the issue of Ontari's blood. Technically it was Ontari's blood that made the Flame work and yet it was Clarke who appeared in the City of Light in s3? I kind of thought that might have been something fans would pull up on (but I think at that point they were just so happy for a potential Clexa scene that many weren't going to question it) so I wanted to look at it more in this fic. Hopefully you route it's gone down :P
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos. I absolutely live for them. Well, I'd still write this thing anyway as I'm hooked at this point but it really is lovely to get a new email letting me know there's feedback :)


	132. Run Ashore

The boat gave a piercing creak as Clarke slumped back down in her seat heavily. The sun had fully risen now and Harper was sobbing quietly over Monty. There was a slight breeze and so Zoran jumped onto the pontoon with more ease and grace than Clarke had seen anyone move with on this journey, and pulled the sail up. Bryan clambered over the back of the boat, clearly trying to give Harper space while not falling in the water and he pulled on the rope so the boat immediately gave a small burst of speed as they glided over the waves. He kept his head bowed as he turned from Harper and Monty and sat down in his seat.

Zoran lightly ran across the pontoon, weaving between the packed items and clambered back into their boat behind Raven and he started to row. Clarke was now at the front of their boat but she sat facing the others and put her head in her hands briefly, her golden hair falling over her head and she shook for a moment.

She'd always counted on Monty, even when he had gone with Bellamy. She thought he would always be there to help them.

She looked across to the other boat. Indra was still sat proudly at the front, but there were large bags under her eyes and the night had clearly taken its toll on her. Echo's hair seemed to be sticking up in any direction it could but she had picked up and oar and was rowing again with Bryan. Clarke jolted when she caught Octavia's eye. Octavia watched her for a few seconds and gave her a short nod before turning and picking up an oar too.

Clarke felt fingers close around her wrist and she lowered her hands and saw the concerned look on Lexa's face, despite how pale she was. Lexa's eyes were red and her lips were badly chapped but her eyes held much more alertness now and Clarke exhaled loudly in broken and desperate relief. Lexa shuffled forward slightly but Clarke grabbed her wrist and pressed two fingers to it and began counting. Lexa stilled and allowed Clarke to measure her pulse. Clarke meant to check it once but she counted it out each minute, for the next five minutes. It was only when Lexa took her hand in hers that she stopped.

'Clarke,' Lexa started and Clarke has amazed how her voice was so even.

'What?' Clarke asked, when Lexa didn't elaborate but merely nodded her head.

Clarke shook her head in confusion but saw Lexa's eyes flick over her shoulder. She turned in her seat slightly and sat stunned.

'Land.' Lexa replied, smiling.

Clarke turned to her in shock. Lexa smiled brightly, although Clarke quickly swore and wiped Lexa's lip with her sleeve when the simple reaction split her bottom lip. Murphy reached around and handed Lexa a bottle of water and she took it gratefully.

'I hope whoever is waiting for us has a feast ready.' Echo said loudly.

Harper continued to weep quietly. Every so often she'd give a strangled cry and relief crashed through Clarke more forcefully than the waves that had hit the boat the night before because now they could wait to bury Monty or join him with fire. Clarke hadn't dared to think of what it would mean had they not gotten within sight of land. She couldn't just push her friend overboard. Lexa took in where Clarke's gaze was focused and gave her hand a slight squeeze and Clarke returned it with a reassuring smile.

'Rest.' Clarke warned her and she turned around and picked up the oar and started to push their way to the land with the others.

There was a great cry overhead and a bird with a wing span of at least seven feet flapped over the sea and headed to the land too. Clarke watched as it glided through the air with ease. If only their journey could have been so easy.

'There probably won't be anything waiting for us.' Kane replied after a while. 'At least out in the open. That's what you and Jaha found, right?'

'Yeah,' Murphy replied quietly, 'I wouldn't get your hopes up though.'

Even with the power of the wind and Raven's contraptions it still took them several hours to reach shore. Clarke's eyes actually watered with relief, the mid day sun was inescapable and if she was looking forward to anything, it was to not be at the mercy of the weather. The boat ran into the shallow sand and stopped with ease. Zoran released the anchors for good measure in case the wind changed and tried to pull it out to sea. Clarke hoped they'd find a different way back and that they wouldn't require its use anymore. Kane, Miller, Zoran, Echo and Octavia immediately started to unload the pontoon under Raven's strict instructions. Lexa pulled herself off the boat with more composure than Clarke expected and Clarke jumped down following her, only to land on her hands and knees. Lexa immediately helped pull her up and guide her to shore.

'You've been at sea for a long time.' Lexa told her as they sat down on the sand. 'It will take time to adjust.'

Clarke's legs were weak which she had not expected. It had been her arms that felt as though they were ready to drop off but as soon as she had hit the ground, she'd collapsed under her own weight. As much as she enjoyed Lexa being close to her, she had not enjoyed needing to be helped simply to walk several metres.

'You're the one who just nearly died.' Clarke pointed out.

'And you're the one who just fell over.' Lexa quipped.

Clarke gave her a mock glare but Lexa's eyes were bright and Clarke soon was smiling softly. They had come so close to losing even more than Monty and Wick.

'How are you feeling?' Clarke asked tenderly.

'Tired.' Lexa stated. 'Somebody wouldn't let me sleep.'

'Sorry for not letting you die.' Clarke replied, slightly sarcastic but she could tell Lexa didn't miss the worry in her voice.

'I just wanted to see you in the Flame.' Lexa replied easily. 'There's rather more more privacy there.'

Clarke gave a small chuckle and they watched as the others either collapsed on separate bits of sand too or hauled the items off the pontoon. Miller and Bryan gently lifted Monty's body and placed him on the sand several hundred yards away. Clarke looked behind her and Lexa and was happy to find that the land quickly changed to green, unlike the Dead Zone. There would be many places to bury him if that was what Harper wanted.

'I am sorry about Monty.' Lexa said sadly and Clarke turned to look at her.

'It's not your fault.'

'It's not yours either.' Lexa said knowingly. 'Monty chose to come.'

'He wasn't exactly enthusiastic about it. He came for Harper.'

'And you wouldn't blame her either.' Lexa pointed out. 'We've come this far. I think it's time we stopped blaming ourselves for the choices of others.'

Clarke couldn't help but smile.

'That would be a first, wouldn't it?'

'We're excellent at breaking traditions.' Lexa smiled.

'Let's break another one.' Clarke sighed, lying down in the sand. 'And rest first before running to battle.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close to 700 kudos :) thank you everyone who has been kind enough to leave them :)
> 
> So of all the strange twists and turns this fic has taken now Wecca is apparently a new ship. Because Ocho and Maven weren't odd enough pairings or maybe-not-pairings-but-there's-chemistry-perhaps-pairings to be getting on with :P


	133. Familiar Traditions

Monty was buried close to the shore as the sun was setting. Harper had decided she did not want to burn him as was grounder tradition. Clarke hadn't expected otherwise and she was personally relieved, any fires may attract unwanted attention and they were all still too weak to embark on the next stage of their journey. Lexa and Indra had insisted upon digging the grave. Echo was the only one not present when Monty was lowered into the ground and Octavia kept looking around with a glare on her face for any sign of Echo.

'Do you want to say anything, Harper?' Murphy asked but Harper slowly shook her head.

She'd barely spoken to anyone at all and watching Monty being lowered into the ground seemed to have snapped something deep within her soul.

Miller bent down and clenched his hand around a clump of dirt from the pile and stood over the grave.

'May we meet again.' Miller said bitterly before he poured the soil onto Monty.

Everyone walked around to the pile of earth and copied Miller's actions with their own mutterings of 'may we meet again', although Lexa's and Indra's were both spoken in trigedasleng. Murphy gave her a sympathetic and uncomfortable look as he picked up one of the roughly made shovels that had been crafted from a cut tree and began to cover Monty. Lexa and Indra joined him and soon everyone split off to their own groups while Monty was buried. Harper still did not move, and Miller stood with her with an arm around her waist.

Clarke went to sit on the beach e look as he picked up one of the roughly made shovels that had been crafted from a cut tree and began to cover Monty. Lexa and Indra joined him and soon everyone split off to their own groups while Monty was buried. Harper still did not move, and and was soon joined by Zoran. To her utter astonishment, he began to unwrap the tunic that covered his face and dropped it in the sand. He rested his hands behind him and leaned back in the blazing orange glow of the sun.

'I didn't blame you for Wick and Harper won't for Monty.' He told her.

Clarke gave him a thankful smile but shrugged.

'I didn't save either of them.'

'You're a great healer, Clarke.' Zoran told her. 'You fixed my feet.'

Clarke couldn't stop a small laugh from escaping.

'I don't think anything could have slowed you down.' Clarke replied kindly.

Lexa, Murphy and Raven came to join them and collapsed rather ungracefully in the sand. Raven positively beamed with pride when she saw Zoran but she didn't say anything, content to just let him be.

Lexa looked weary. She had not listened to much of Clarke's cautions when it came to taking care of herself but she understood. Monty had come on this journey that had captivated them. Lexa thought burying Monty was part of her duty as Heda and Clarke didn't have it in her heart to argue.

Octavia was a short distance away getting the fire lit. She hadn't spoken much either since they had come ashore. Clarke glanced at the boat and she wasn't much looking forward to whatever was ahead but she hoped they could find an easier way back.

It was just starting to get dark before Echo returned, carrying a huge dead boar and she dumped it in the sand in front of Octavia. Octavia looked at her, surprised.

'We need to eat.' Echo shrugged before she walked into the sea to wash her bloody hands.

Octavia's eyes never left her and it was Indra who walked over to her and was the one left in charge of preparing the meal.

* * *

'You want some food?' Miller asked Harper as he nodded across the the campsite.

Harper turned and groaned.

'Probably should.'

'I can get you something.'

'Oh no, not yet, just wait.' Harper muttered and Miller stopped where he was. 'I just can't talk to anyone yet.'

Harper didn't blame Clarke or Lexa. She'd wanted to go too. She wanted to be away from the drop ship and Skaikru. She trusted Clarke far more than anyone else to lead them. Monty had dragged his feet but he had come for her, as he would always have. Yet on this side of the sea, regrets were far easier to have. Selfishly, when Wick had died, it had been easy to pretend that was just the cost of life on the ground but now Monty had gone it didn't feel as easy to diminish. She wanted to support Clarke but the desire to come here had extinguished now. She had nothing left.

She hated that Monty had been right behind her and that entire night she had not once realised he was in trouble. Clarke had saved Lexa, so why could she not save Monty? Monty who never complained, Monty who would do anything for his friends and that had cost him his life. She fought tears at the thought that maybe he had quietly asked for help and she just hadn't heard him over the waves and the storm.

'I'm pregnant.' Harper admitted laughing bitterly and wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

'Shit.' Miller hissed.

'Yep.' She laughed sarcastically.

'Did he know?' Miller asked quietly and Harper nodded.

'Found out after Jackson's surgery.'

'No wonder he was-'

'He didn't want me to come.' Harper interjected; Monty had tried to support her but he couldn't help but try to dissuade her and it had caused more than a little tension at times. 'But it was my choice.'

'What are you going to do?' Miller asked.

'I already had one abortion. Am I supposed to keep it now he's dead?' Harper asked bitterly. 'I didn't know what I wanted before. I've got what I need from Nyko. I just didn't know. I still don't.'

'That's okay.' Miller said, shrugging.

'It is?' Harper asked, incredulous.

'Sure.' Miller nodded. 'It's your choice. We'll be here for you, whatever.'

Harper hesitated a moment.

'Will it be a betrayal?' Harper asked quietly.

'Only if you make a choice you don't want.' Miller said seriously. 'I know Monty. All he wanted was for you to be happy which I know is hard to believe given his terrible jokes-'

Miller broke off giving a gentle laugh and Harper nodded, smiling tightly.

'I miss him already.'

'Me too.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. This was an interesting chapter to write. Mostly because anyone getting pregnant after an abortion is still an issue treated with contempt by a lot of our conservative media. Yet it happens and there's nothing wrong with that. Whatever choice Harper makes it'll be right and she'll be defining how she wants to live. Neither choice means she loved Monty more or less. Life is messy and complicated sometimes. 
> 
> Thank you all for your kudos and comments. You are all far too kind. :)


	134. Night Watch

Kane sat by one of the fires and tried and failed to stifle a great yawn.

'You should be resting.' Indra commented, sitting down on the sand next to him.

'So should you.'

Indra gave a wry smile.

'This is further than my people have ever come. Echo and Octavia, Miller and Bryan are taking their shifts on watch but I will remain prepared.' Indra remarked.

'I think you're just not used to the concept of being able to lie down again.' Kane said.

'Clearly you have forgotten the concept of shaving.' Indra retorted easily and Kane scratched at his face and groaned.

His beard had grown long enough that the tips of his fingers were engulfed by it whenever he scratched his face. He'd bothered to trim his hair, or at least Raven had, when they were at sea but he'd grown more and more impatient with his beard. He avoided ever getting out the small shard of a cracked mirror they all used.

'Do you regret leaving Trikru?' Kane asked.

'Lexa is Trikru. She is our pride and the one hope.' Indra replied.

'Some things have changed.' Kane noted wryly with raised eyebrows.

'I should have had more faith.'

'You're here now. We all underestimated Clarke too.' Kane sighed. 'Even Abby.'

'Abby measured her daughter against herself, not as the individual Clarke is.' Indra commented.

'She'd never have wanted Clarke to go on this mission either.' Kane admitted.

'No,' Indra concurred, 'but she would have followed her anyway in the end.'

Kane nodded his head slightly. He hoped so. Any anger at Clarke had completely dissipated after the truth had been revealed. His anguish felt as raw as ever at times. When he would turn to comment on something innocuous or he had a new idea and there was no one next to him. He half still expected her to pop up and tell him she'd somehow sabotaged whatever he had planned. They'd spent so much time fighting each other and had hardly any time to love each other. He wondered if Abby ever felt that way about Jake but they at least had years together.

'Thank you...for giving Skaikru a chance.' Kane elaborated; Indra had been quick to stay by Octavia's side at Arkadia and she had then helped lead Skaikru to war against Azgeda, along with Trikru.

'Skaikru earned that chance.'

'I'm not sure we did.' Kane admitted. 'But we will always stay loyal to Lexa, and to Trikru now.'

Indra smiled slightly before she pulled out her blade and cut across her palm. She offered the blade to Kane and he winced as the blade slid through the palm of his own hand. He handed the blade back to her and it hissed as it was placed back in its sheath. The two clasped their hands together and smiled warmly at each other.

'Trikru and Skaikru will hold the Coalition up, and the hopes of us all.' Indra told him proudly.

* * *

 

'Kane just took some oath with Indra.' Echo noted and Octavia nudged her slightly in the ribs.

Echo turned back to her with a scowl.

'We are supposed to be watching activity away from camp, not inside it.' Octavia reminded her, annoyed.

'They could be planning something against my people.' Echo retorted.

'Good.' Octavia replied acidly and Echo smirked.

'Skaikru need all the help they can get. Let's face it, a spider and the cold have taken down two of your people.'

'Don't.' Octavia warned, her voice laced with venom and Echo softened slightly.

'If it's any consolation, I'd have preferred it to be Trikru.' She offered and Octavia bit back a smile.

'That's so much better.' Octavia replied half laughing and half sarcastic.

'Skaikru saved my life a couple of times.' Echo said, with a trace of nostalgia. 'But then I helped you get to Clarke when Rosar had her in that cell so I guess that makes us even.'

'I'd have managed to get there anyway.' Octavia replied, slightly indignant.

'I know that you would have.' Echo confessed, although her tone was just as confident as ever and so Octavia narrowed her eyes and glared at her until she decided to elaborate. 'Clarke needed you.'

Octavia scoffed.

'Please, shut up.'

Echo, to her surprise, actually did remain quiet and for almost half an hour nothing was said. Octavia kept shooting suspicious glances but Echo remained smiling and looking out around for any sign of activity while Octavia's annoyance greatly increased. Octavia threw her a look of contempt before she broke the silence.

'She'll be beating herself up now.' Octavia muttered.

'Who?' Echo questioned, earnestly.

'Clarke.' Octavia practically hissed, irritated.

'Oh.' Echo responded and then her brows furrowed. 'Why?'

'People dying.' Octavia grumbled, knowing that Clarke would see it as a personal loss.

'Oh, leader woes.' Echo replied and Octavia snorted.

'Yeah, Clarke has it tough.' She replied coldly.

'You would know. You weren't the greatest chancellor.'

'I know-' Octavia started angrily but Echo cut her off.

'Just talk to her at some point.' Echo commented, slightly flippant. 'The brooding routine and the secret glances aren't really achieving anything but Trikru always did like to hide behind their trees.'

'What does that even mean?' Octavia quizzed, baffled.

'I am very tired.' Echo deflected defensively.' Azgeda, we want something, we go do it.'

'By games and lies-'

'But we still do it any way that we can. We do not sit back and we do not sulk.'

'I am not sulking.' Octavia retorted, her voice rising in tone as she tried to keep her volume down.

'From what you've said, since the black rain that is all you have done.' Echo replied.

Octavia opened and shut her mouth several times before she crossed her arms and gave Echo a look of loathing.

'I can't stand Ice Nation.'

'If that was true you would have knocked me out by now.' Echo replied, although her voice was softer than Octavia had heard it before. 'Just like you let Clarke attack you.'

'You don't know anything about it.' Octavia replied dully, her eyes burning.

'I know that before you were tormented by what you had lost and now you torment yourself.'

Octavia stared out across the land. They knew the mansion wasn't far from where they were but they couldn't see it from this distance. They'd have to walk east along the shore for a mile until they reached the hill leading to Murphy's bunker.

'I was a crap friend.' Octavia said after a while. 'To Monty.'

Even as she admitted the words the saliva in her mouth tasted acidic. She swallowed and her throat burned and she found herself, aggravatingly, fighting tears again. She was sick of ever shedding tears.

'He left with Bellamy and I never...I hardly ever gave him much time after that. Jasper either. Jasper and Monty both tried; we were always close but I was just so...lost. I didn't know how to get everything back.'

She'd detached herself from the hundred. Monty and Jasper had been easy to blame, even Clarke had. Raven had punched her which said everything about how far they had all descended.

'He knew.' Echo replied.

'How do you know that?' Octavia asked.

'Because you came.'

* * *

 

'It's almost our turn.' Bryan groaned.

He hated getting up to take over watch. Nate groaned too and rubbed his eyes, pulling himself to sit up in the sand. Nate rubbed his temples as though hoping to stimulate his brain and wake up. Bryan couldn't help a smile escape.

'After this maybe we should finally get married.' He suggested and at that, Nate looked more awake than ever and his head shot up to meet Bryan's gaze.

'Seriously?' Nate questioned.

 'We can't let Clexa get all the attention.'

Nate nodded slowly, looking out to the sea before his eyes flickered to Bryan again.

'A space bisexual leader in love with a post apocalypse lesbian commander is a big story to compete with.' Nate said playfully. 'I don't know if anyone could live up to it.'

'Space Delinquent and farm station worker...we have our merits.' Bryan smiled.

'I'm not sure that quite cuts it.' Nate murmured, leaning closer to Bryan. 'We'll just have to have a kick ass wedding to outdo them.'

* * *

 

Lexa began to fidget slightly in the sand, trying to get comfortable and Clarke shot her a look and rolled her eyes. Lexa halted and her hand returned to stroke Clarke's hair as Clarke rested her head on Lexa's stomach. Several feet away, Raven was asleep next to Murphy. They had stayed quite apart but gradually they had rolled to face each other. Zoran was asleep a few feet away from them and Kane was sat with Indra across at the next fire.

'We should really be asleep.' Clarke said.

'I miss your bed at Polis.' Lexa commented, her lips twitching at the old joke and Clarke smirked and rolled over so that she was on her stomach.

'See, I told you it was awesome.' Clarke smiled, running her finger along Lexa's stomach before pulling back with a look of regret as she glanced around at the camp full of people.

Clarke turned back to her and her eyes were full of sadness. Lexa rose onto her elbows.

'Clarke?' She questioned.

'Are you scared?' Clarke asked quietly and Lexa reached out and laced their fingers together.

'No,' Lexa shook her head, 'we don't know what there is.'

'I hate that.' Clarke replied bitterly. 'I can't plan anything.'

Lexa gazed softly at Clarke but then she pulled on Clarke's hood slightly and Clarke smiled before pulling herself to lie on the sand next to Lexa. Lexa's deft fingers traced over Clarke's hand and up her forearm softly. Clarke sighed into the touch.

'How much of a plan have we ever really had?' Lexa asked. 'You're a great leader because you can get your people through anything.'

'We.' Clarke corrected and Lexa nodded. 'What if the Flame fails? What if we've broken it? If making the secondary Flame somehow broke yours?'

Clarke's words spilled from her and Lexa could tell that nobody else would ever hear her voice these fears. They'd been building in Clarke since the moment she had seen Bellamy. The Flame would always hold the allure of immortality to her and she knew that Clarke would sacrifice her Flame a thousand times if it meant that Lexa's was protected.

'The Flame is working fine. There has been nothing to indicate there is an issue. Why would Becca lead us to something that would shut it down?'

'You think it's her too?' Clarke asked and Lexa smiled.

'The Commanders are supposed to help. There have been no images or voices or dreams. No warnings. Becca controls the Flame, she created it. Whatever has happened she will have foreseen or will be trying to make sense of now. She was the first Commander. We trusted her before, I trust her still.'

'I'd trust her a lot more if she was helpful.' Clarke muttered darkly.

'The Commanders give warnings in time of great need or stress. They can anticipate things. They rarely like to get involved. They are present as a duty.' Lexa replied.

'I suppose the fact they're not screaming at you is something.' Clarke responded. 'Like they did when they warned you of an assassin.'

'In vague terms.' Lexa responded dryly. 'It would have been more useful had somebody alerted us to the fact Titus possessed both a gun and Murphy.'

'I would have appreciated that.' Clarke admitted with a small smile.

Lexa watched as Clarke's eyelids grew heavy. Clarke jerked her head slightly trying to rouse herself but Lexa whispered to her softly to go to sleep. Clarke quickly surrendered, the only time in her life that she would.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a pretty nice chapter to write. No deaths, just a bit of exploration with relationships and perspectives and remembering some of those lost. :) Thank you for your comments and kudos and cheers for still reading this fic at all. Jeez, looking at the word count and I cannot believe how far it's come. Just killing Bellamy off feels like it happened a million years ago. Sorry Bellarkers...*smiles sheepishly*


	135. More Hope than Knowledge

Luna stood on the deck of the rig and stared at the radio that was now useless in her hands. She shivered slightly against the cold as the waves beat the rig angrily.

'Nothing?' Gorron asked her, his voice raised so she could hear him over the waves and wind and Luna shook her head.

'Nothing still. They must have crossed the sea.' Luna said, more to herself than to him.

They'd taken less time than Luna had imagined. The Dead Zone was notoriously difficult. It had been one place she had considered fleeing to after she had left her conclave but she had quickly been dissuaded from that idea, having met a group of emaciated Wastelanders who had nearly been claimed by the sand storms and had just made it back within the Trikru borders. Luna had cared for them for weeks before they left and headed for the coast and to home. She had not been to Floukru since she was a baby. She had been tested for black blood as soon as she had been born and her guardians (or parents perhaps, Luna never did find out) had decided to send her immediately to Polis. It was not always the option that was taken for Nightbloods. Indra had wanted Lexa to train with Trikru first before she was sent to Polis to train to become Heda. Titus had told her of Floukru and their ways, although they had little involvement in politics; preferring to keep their resources to themselves. It had seemed like the spirits had wanted her to return home.

'Or they are dead.' Gorron replied. 'And that would make you the last known Nightblood.'

Luna stared out at the sea for a moment, watching as one of the supply boats came in. Some of Skaikru had fled here after Arkadia had blown up and some had chosen to remain who had already sought sanctuary because of the war. They had settled in relatively well. Occassionally, there was a criticism of how things were run but Skaikru had their own culture. It would take time to adjust.

'Perhaps.' Luna replied. 'But that would make Lexa the last of the Commanders. She is Heda.'

* * *

 

Clarke groaned as she woke up. Her body, if possible, felt even more stiff. Lexa sat up too, wrapping her arms around Clarke and pressing a quick kiss to the base of her neck.

'Time to get going again.' Clarke croaked.

Lexa sighed against Clarke and the pair rose to their feet groggily. The rest of the camp were almost as sluggish to wake up. Lexa and Clarke got washed quickly in the shallows of the water, careful not to go more than a few feet in as they knew well that any creature was more likely to be lurking early on a morning. When they returned to camp to see everyone almost ready to go, Clarke almost did a double take at seeing Kane clean shaven.

'It was itching.' He smiled, noticing her staring.

'I think he had the whole ship wrecked look down before.' Raven said to Clarke. 'I could almost convince myself I was back on the Ark watching the old vids again.'

'Would you really want to be?' Miller asked, standing up after he tied up his boots.

'No.' Raven conceded. 'But at least on weekends I got a lie on the Ark.'

'You might have.' Miller muttered. 'Sky box, remember?'

'At least you were allowed out of your cell.' Raven replied, indicating her head to Clarke who rolled her eyes and sighed.

'Come on, guys. We might as well head out.' She called out.

They made their way along the shore. There was very little talking. They'd seemed to regain some of their energy since first rising but everyone was on alert. Although Murphy had said that he and Jaha had only bumped into ALIE that had not done much to boost their spirits. Clarke couldn't help but feel more exposed out here, without the back up of Lexa's clans which seemed absurd given how most of them hated Skaikru but now she felt that they were all far more vulnerable. Clarke didn't know if it was reassuring or not that Octavia walked behind her with her blade already in hand.

It didn't take long until they reached the bank and heard music playing. Murphy grimaced as he looked up at where the bunker was. Clarke couldn't blame him. She'd spent months in isolation on the Ark and it had been one of the worst times of her life. The loneliness and loss of control was overwhelmingly oppressive.

She gave him a sympathetic glance before they climbed up the bank and finally reached the open door of the bunker.

'Don't let any doors shut!' Murphy warned.

Everybody brushed by him and he was knocked lightly into the wall as the door shut behind them.

'Or just ignore me. I'm only here for my looks,' Murphy called out behind them.

Clarke smiled at him sadly before she followed him inside but Murphy dropped his pack to the floor and grunted slightly as he pulled out an enormous rock.

'Found it on the beach.' He said, panting as he dropped it with a loud thud in the doorway.

'You carried that all this way?' Clarke asked, amazed.

'I'm not getting stuck in here again, especially with you lot.'

Clarke rolled her eyes for possibly the seventh time that morning and they headed down into the bunker. The wooden decor reminded her slightly of inside Mount Weather but that was where the resemblance ended. There was a huge television screen mounted on the wall and Clarke shot Murphy a look and he nodded, silently confirming that's the video where he first discovered the existence of ALIE. Clarke pulled a disgusted face slightly as her mind recalled just what Murphy had told her about the fate of the man in the recording.

The others searched the place while Murphy picked up an empty glass bottle and scowled.

'It hasn't been replaced.' Murphy commented.

'What?' Raven asked.

'If someone was here, maybe they would have replaced it.' Murphy replied.

'Or maybe they don't care about getting guests drunk.' Raven replied sarcastically and Murphy gave a fake laugh in response.

Raven walked over to the screen and began fiddling with it, trying to pull up different videos. Clarke tried not to pay attention but the man's voice seemed to pierce the entire bunker. Murphy wore a look of utter distaste and she knew that he'd heard all of these logs about ALIE before. It was haunting to come here and again be faced with just how much damage ALIE had caused.

Murphy's voice came on the screen next and Clarke tore her eyes away, as did Lexa. They couldn't shut out his voice though and hatred swept through her at what Jaha had done. Murphy was on the brink of suicide and Clarke blinked back relieved tears that Murphy had been able to escape. Raven stared at Murphy for a moment but he shuffled awkwardly about the room, and she turned back to the videos.

Clarke stilled and closed her eyes briefly. She vaulted into the Flame and the room she and Lexa shared inside, the place they had made their own. She waited a second but nothing happened. She exhaled slightly before opening her eyes, back in the bunker. She should have known it wouldn't have been so simple and she suspected Lexa would have felt something first anyway but being so close to where ALIE had stayed hidden for so long seemed eerie. Clarke had expected something to be triggered but it was foolish. She'd not seen Bellamy since she'd been stabbed and she should have known better than to think just walking into a room would somehow solve their problems and unravel what was really going on.

'I got nothing.' Raven muttered, collapsing on the chair in front of the screen.

Murphy clearly bit his tongue. He had not particularly been thrilled at the idea that they return here. Clarke knew it was a long shot. Murphy had been down here months but she had hoped that perhaps there was some clue. Finally though she had to accept defeat.

'Let's get to the mansion then.'

'We can search some more.' Octavia offered, indicating Echo and Indra and neither of whom look pleased at this suggestion.

Clarke nodded and the others left the bunker. She had half a mind to stay behind too, partly because she was not looking forward to the mansion but also because she was sure there was something they were overlooking.

When Clarke drew within sight of the mansion she couldn't help but stop momentarily. Its style reminded her of the museum in the City of Light. Lexa glanced at her with understanding and Clarke nodded and continued on her way. The Flame clearly did not just rely upon Lexa's and Clarke's memories but its own. It had used the idea of this building and morphed it into a place that Lexa and Clarke had needed during the battle. Perhaps the Flames were more deeply embedded in their consciousness than they had known. Abby's voice echoed through her head with the memory of the warning about choosing to keep the secondary Flame and Clarke was filled with unease. She didn't know what she or Lexa were really experiencing. They'd held onto the concept of the Flame with more hope than knowledge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Hope you're having a great weekend :) Thank you for your comments and kudos. It was nice to write a little scene with Luna and see that life in the ground is still going on (and waiting) while Lexa and co. are on their little quest to figure out what's going on with the Flame.


	136. Into the Depths of Hell

 Octavia walked idly around the bunker. She looked at the pool table and scrunched up her nose. She missed Trikru. Had she not known how irritating Murphy was before, she could understand why he was the way he was after he had been trapped in this place. Octavia already felt trapped in here and she knew the door could not lock them in. The oppressive feel to the place and the artificial lights reminded her of the Ark- not that she had ever seen much of the Ark.

Indra suddenly kicked the sofa over and pushed it aside. She stared down at where it had been and her face tightened into a frown. She jumped on a square panel on the floor but it would not move.

'We should pry it open.' Octavia said quickly.

'Or not.' Echo replied, looking over from the counter.

'We came to find out what's going on.' Octavia reminded her.

Indra sighed loudly in annoyance at their bickering.

'We came-'

There was a loud groan of wood and metal smashing as the floor beneath Indra fell away and she was swept out of sight. Octavia dove to the floor but Indra slipped out of grasp and she screamed in fury. She pulled herself up and hoisted her legs over the edge.

'What are you doing?' Echo demanded.

'Going after her.' Octavia replied, and she pushed herself off the edge.

Octavia felt as though her stomach was pushed up into her throat as she continued to plummet down, her hair billowing wildly. She looked down as she fell but she couldn't see Indra in the dark. The tunnel changed to glass and light swept over her but Indra was still out of sight. The glass curved sweeping her along so that she rolled violently until she fell onto a narrow glass alley suspended in the air. She jerked violently and there was a loud groan as the conveyor belt beneath her started  to life, pulling her forwards. There was a dull thump as Echo landed beside her. She spluttered for a moment, cursing bitterly and she struggled to sit up, sweeping her wild blonde hair out of her face.

'Where's Indra?' Octavia asked, looking around in alarm.

'You're welcome.' Echo muttered, spitting out blood as she had burst her lip in the landing.

They looked around in horror as they continued to move, suspended in the air. Octavia tried to grab onto anything she could. She pressed the roof of the glass tunnel and tried to cling to it to stop them moving but it was futile and a tearing squeak was given as her hands slipped over the glass. Echo gave her a glare which conveyed only that she wasn't surprised and that they never should have left the bunker. Octavia clenched her jaw in annoyance before turning to watch where they were being taken.

They passed through an archway made of stone and suddenly they were staring down at a large floor made of marble and with people down below, only twenty or so feet away from them. There was a large round fountain in the middle of the floor and two men were laughing near it and shaking hands. There was a desk near them as though it was a administration area and the woman who was sat on the chair and flicking through papers absently laughed less than a second after the two men.

They were steadily moved into the next room which was just as grand, with chandeliers and a woman playing a piano. Octavia looked across to the ceiling and saw a maroon banner hanging across each corner that had two white overlapping circles.

'I think I'd prefer to live in Trikru.' Echo noted, in disgust.

Octavia glanced at her but Echo shrugged, not knowing what the banner meant but she shared the same look of disgust that Octavia was sure was on her face. She felt a stab of guilt at watching Echo being pulled along with her; she had dove down to get to Indra and Echo had followed. She should have stayed behind. Octavia didn't know why she bothered to come at all; she had no reason to be this loyal to Lexa. The peace with Azgeda was what Echo wanted but that didn't mean she had to risk her life.

They were swept along the ceiling of several corridors turning left and right with a quick jerk. Octavia looked around desperately every time they turned a corner but Indra wasn't in sight. It didn't make any sense unless she had fallen to a separate platform that Octavia had missed in the dark.

As they entered what was the seventh corridor, a woman was standing alone dancing to a soft tune that neither she nor Echo could hear.

'Fuck.' Echo hissed. 'I miss the Mountain Men.'

Octavia gave her a look of pure incredulity before they were taken round into another area. They passed through a corridor and instead of going through the next door, the glass railway line they seemed to be on disappeared into a hole in the wall. They were in darkness for a few moments before they entered a new room but this was loaded with discarded crops. Before they could even comment, the glass below flapped open and they fell onto the waste of dead crops and Echo spat in disgust.

Octavia stood up, sinking slightly in the rubbish and brushed herself off. She definitely preferred being covered in sand.

'Great.' Echo muttered. 'Now we're stuck here.'

'Azgeda are such complainers.' Octavia smirked.

'Then what do you suggest?' Echo asked, crossing her arms and raising her eye brows but Octavia had already thrown her blade so that it flew into the air and smashed one of the hanging lights. The light dropped into the glass tunnel and made a rather large crack and immediately a warning siren went off.

'Smashing a light?' Echo asked.

'Damage.' Octavia shrugged. 'They've got to come and investigate now.'

'So you've just alerted the entire population to our presence?' Echo asked sarcastically.

'I didn't see you come up with any better ideas.'

Octavia waited with her blade out and Echo rolled her eyes before pulling out hers. Within minutes, part of the wall began to pull back revealing an opening onto the corridor above and an escape. Octavia and Echo launched themselves up, knocking several people flyi ng who were wearing decontamination suits. Octavia's mind lurched back to the Mountain Men and instead of running with Echo, she launched at the nearest body and ripped their decontamination helmet off.

The woman blinked happily at her and Octavia scowled in confusion. One of the suited cleaners moved towards her but she gave them a swift kick so they fell into the waste below and she sped after Echo who was watching and waiting half way up the corridor.

'Now what?' Echo shouted as they pounded through the place.

'We find Indra and get the hell out of here.' Octavia shouted back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Sorry this is a short chapter but it was deliberate. I wanted to give a little detail but not too much as this is a whole new place and with new people. Enough to cause a little intrigue hopefully :P Sorry for my slow update. It took forever to get back from work today. Hope you all are well and thank you as always for generously leaving kudos and comments! :)


	137. Whatever else?

 Clarke, Lexa, Kane, Murphy, Raven and Zoran made their way into the mansion. Lexa had her blade ready but the mansion was quite empty. There was no sign of even a rogue AI which Clarke had feared, although she had not told anybody that. ALIE had unnerved her quite as much as Dr Tsing. The doors had given a loud creak as they opened and so they looked around curiously and cautiously for any sign of activity, which would surely have heard them, but there was none.

'Shit.' Raven hissed and Clarke rushed to where she was stood in the corridor ahead.

Clarke paled as Lexa joined her side. Clarke stared for what felt like minutes until Lexa broke the silence, her voice laden with shock.

'What is that?' Lexa asked. 'A missile?'

Clarke watched Raven swallow thickly and nod before stepping closer to it. One panel was open and there had evidently been work done to it. Clarke didn't dare speak lest she startle Raven and the whole thing exploded.

'That's how ALIE powered the pack.' Murphy muttered quietly, from behind.

Clarke hadn't even heard the others join them. Kane looked petrified and Clarke hoped she looked slightly more calm than him or they'd have a mass panic to deal with and that would help no one.

'Jaha came down in that?' Kane asked, horrified. 'He could have killed us all.'

'It was Jaha.' Raven reminded him pointedly.

She continued to examine the war head for several moments and not one of them dared to even think of speaking.

'Yeah,' Raven said, 'it's safe.'

Clarke's brow furrowed slightly as she had a hard time believing anything that looked like a nuclear war head could truly be safe. Lexa, however, moved closer to inspect it and Clarke had to control herself from pulling Lexa back although that would not make any difference even if it were to explode.

'Safe?' Kane repeated, as though such a concept was entirely impossible and perhaps it was to them by this point.

Kane seemed to be reflecting all of Clarke's private thoughts and she didn't know if that made her relieved or annoyed when she was trying to appear calm. She watched as Lexa inched closer to it and had to bite back a comment. Raven was the only one who needed to look at it; she didn't see why Lexa couldn't just step back, preferably to outside.

'Because ALIE took what she required?' Lexa asked, staring down at the nuclear warhead.

Raven hummed and stood up and crossed her arms. Clarke knew that look.

'Oh no.' Clarke muttered, realisation dawning. 'What is it?'

'More of the core has been taken than what ALIE needed.' Raven said, and she adopted the superior voice she often required when trying to explain anything technical, particularly when it came to Clarke. 'There are things called the "primary" and the "secondary"-'

Lexa and Clarke's eyes both flicked to each other at the same time as they thought of the Flame.

'Yeah, it's not like that.' Raven said, noticing their shared look. 'These are basically systems of warfare designed to make sure the implosion is effective as possible. They're gone. So are some other key components. I have no idea who was able to break down the missile so cleanly or why but it's gone. It's like they just extracted whatever they needed which is incredible. They should have blown up.'

'ALIE wanted to limit the population.' Lexa reminded her.

'By moving people to the City of Light.' Raven replied. 'She thought she was saving them and creating a better world while the issue with the nuclear plants would kill off everyone's biological forms. She didn't need any of this.'

'So,' Kane said, his voice wavering, 'essentially, somebody took a nuclear warhead?'

'Looks that way.' Raven replied solemnly.

'And they took the parts specifically to blow something up?' Murphy asked.

'Yep.'

'Why?' Clarke asked, flabbergasted. 'Why not just take what was needed?'

'There wasn't everything to make the missile work.' Raven replied.' ALIE took what she needed to power the pack - most of the nuclear elements such as the plutonium, tritium and deuterium- I'm guessing. If she had known something or someone else had wanted the other components I doubt she would have just left it here. Her programming must not have been aware of any other activity here.'

Clarke looked at Raven skeptically. There was nothing that ALIE didn't seem to know.

'ALIE had limitations too, Clarke, she had her own programming.'

'Becca.' Lexa said. 'The first Commander, if whatever lies here is linked in any way to the Flame then she must have made sure that ALIE wouldn't detect it.'

'ALIE wouldn't be aware there was anything to detect. ALIE's focus was on obtaining the Flame to upgrade.' Raven said. 'She didn't have any other objective. That was all she wanted.'

'It's genius.' Murphy said in awe and everyone looked at him in surprise. 'Hiding something you never wanted ALIE to find out about right where she lives...makes sense in a twisted way.'

'Hiding in plain sight.' Kane agreed.

'How did the first Commander even know to come here?'

'The thirteenth station.' Raven answered. 'It was in the book. She knew ALIE would seek out any signs of life. She must have found power here-'

'The Mountain?' Clarke questioned.

'Nuclear power.' Raven clarified. 'Maybe not everywhere fired. Maybe not every nuclear source broke down. We already know some plants survived to die later- and try to kill us -but ALIE only accessed weapons. Becca must have known ALIE would turn her attention elsewhere. There was power here from the beginning. The solar energy was optimised here. ALIE probably thought this was a great base to wait for someone as broken as Jaha to manipulate but maybe she didn't know everything that was here.'

 Clarke stared grimly at the now apparently harmless weapon. If this was true then Becca had gone on an elaborate game of chance with ALIE, but ALIE had been her design and she would have known all of her flaws. Becca might have been able to reassert her control then after ALIE had destroyed almost everything.

'So how do we enter below?' Lexa asked.

'Below?' Kane questioned and Clarke shot her a confused look.

'There is no mountain to hide in. There is no sign of life anywhere. Where else must life be hiding?' Lexa replied and Raven actually shone with pride.

'You are learning our ways, Commander.' Raven said.

Lexa's face remained stoic and Raven's smile faltered for a second but she caught Clarke's smile and her face turned to annoyance.

'We blow the mansion to hell, of course.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really though, because what other plan does Raven love more than blowing something up? :P 
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos :) Hope you're having a good start to the week!


	138. See Me Now

Indra grimaced as a striking pain shot through her ribs. The floor was cold beneath her face and she could feel the sweat clinging to her body under her armor, which did not feel smooth against her skin but rather more battered than she would ever have cared for.

She pushed herself up on her hands and her arms shook violently, giving way beneath her and she fell onto the marble floor with a dull thud. Pain rattled across her jaw at the sudden contact and she gave a slight cough. She gasped, trying to get her breath back but each breath that came was shallow and not nearly enough to flow through her body and give her the strength she willed herself to have.  

She rolled on her back and stared up at the square hole in the ceiling. It was a hell of a fall. She rolled her eyes and moved her head slowly and looked around the large room appeared quiet empty. Octavia and Echo were nowhere to be seen.

There was the click of heels against the floor but she tried and failed to roll over. The people stopped just behind her head and she gave an annoyed hiss, her hand inching closer to the blade.

'Nobody has come down that in a long time.' A man commented.

'The tunnel motion sensors must have missed the reading or she would have been transported.' A woman said. 'Take her blade and get her to medical.'

Indra hissed in pain again as her fingers snapped against the blade and the cool floor as the man stamped on her weapon. She felt herself being unceremoniously dragged up and she was grateful that none of her people could see her now.

* * *

 

Clarke made her way out of the building. Raven, Murphy and Zoran had managed to move the nuclear war head well out of the blast vicinity. Raven said it didn't matter but they all insisted. Nobody was going to take any chances with a nuclear missile. Clarke had pointed out that if they blew up the house they could disturb wherever the components to the war head were but Raven had shrugged this off in a manner that had not done much to reassure Clarke.

'They'll have buried it to stop leaks or it exploding, if that was an issue. Or they'll have their own ways of protection. They're not going to risk this place being blown up if there were nuclear weapons being launched every where. We've already come across one bunker.'

Murphy looked incredulously across at them both and Zoran shrugged his shoulders. Raven was going to do whatever Raven wanted to when it came to blowing things up. Lexa was eerily calm too. She stood exactly outside of where Raven said the blast radius would be and waited calmly, as she had before what was supposed to be the battle of Mount Weather. Clarke paced nervously, much as she had then too. She marveled at Lexa's composure, although she frowned when she last remembered Lexa's strong objections to Raven creating any bombs. Lexa really was learning to accept Skaikru's ways, or at least Raven's, she supposed.

Clarke had asked Raven what she was taking before they left the drop ship but Raven had been vague and Clarke had thought at the time that it would be best to let it slide and that was a decision she wondered whether she would bitterly regret. Raven had a jar full of rocket fuel and was working on making a charge out of rope that had been soaked in alcohol.She placed the jar in the middle of the mansion and opened the lid to soak the thin rope and began to drop it to the floor as she exited the mansion and joined the others.

Clarke and Lexa both turned when they heard Miller sprinting back from the bunker.

'Where are they?' Lexa asked, frowning.

Miller almost skidded to a halt in front of them.

'They were gone. There's this hole in the floor -like a panel is missing.' Miller panted heavily.

Clarke fought the urge to run back to the bunker. She should never have left them in that place. Murphy seemed utterly shocked but he had been trapped in there for months after all.

'It doesn't matter.' Raven said cutting across. 'It just proves there's something down there and we'll be following after them in a few minutes.'

'Hurry.' Lexa commanded and Raven nodded.

Kane stepped forward with a burning branch, having quickly made a fire and Raven held the rope and let it drop quickly when the flame glanced it. The alcohol soaked rope quickly burned and the flame spread down the rope that was lying on the grass, and the embers quickly rose up the steps to the mansion and disappeared inside.

'I'm going to get back.' Murphy said quickly but before he could take more than two steps there was an eruption of flames and they were all thrown onto their backs and left spluttering by the flames.

Clarke pushed herself up on her hands and looked at the burning ruin of the mansion.

'I may have underestimated the blast zone.' Raven said, between coughs.

Wood was scattered across the green field. However, where the middle of the floor should have been the building had sunken in on itself.

'That doesn't look right.' Kane said, as he stood and he nodded his head to where Clarke had been staring.

'There must be an entrance.' Lexa said, also rising to her feet along with the others. 'We need to hurry.'

Clarke couldn't help but agree. Octavia and the others must have gone down the bunker without their consent or they would have let her or Lexa know. Something wasn't right and she had no qualms about charging after her friends once again, even if that meant starting a war. They did this journey together and she wasn't going to let anybody else die. The only comfort was that Octavia, Echo and Indra were more than skilled at fighting any enemy. Clarke just hoped they were in a condition to be able to.

'I'm not going.' Harper said quickly, and everybody turned.

Harper looked apologetically at Clarke, clearly torn.

'I can't-'

'It's okay.' Clarke reassured her. 'You've come this far.'

'We may not be safe from the forces out here. You, Miller and Bryan have guard training. I suggest you keep watch for activity while we go inside.' Lexa replied and Clarke offered her a kind smile.

She understood why Harper didn't want to come. The burden of Monty's death would either likely spur her to shrink back from the fight out of guilt or spur Harper onto recklessness. Clarke knew grief well and she didn't object to Harper deciding to stay behind. They'd come so far together anyway. Harper had helped get them through the Dead Zone. Perhaps having less people would make it easier for them to hide but Clarke knew this was a weak sentiment; if there was just one of them this plan would work but not with so many. Clarke half wished they had the grounder army behind them again, but then again, she didn't want anyone else to have to die on her orders either.

Harper grasped Clarke's forearm with her right hand and pulled Clarke into a hug. The metal hand, protruding from her sleeve slightly as it pointed into the air.

'We'll meet again.' Harper promised.

'We will.' Clarke said earnestly. 'Take care of yourselves.'

'You too.' Miller told her before pulling her into a hug too.

'We'll keep an eye on things here.' Bryan promised.

'Damn right.' Raven said. 'Now let's get after Octavia and the others.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my chapters are up a bit earlier today but I have so much to sort out and hell, what's ever wrong with an early chapter? :P Plus, this one is incredibly short anyway so I think you deserve at least two chapters today. We'll see if I can get one out later but no promises. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and cheers for comments and kudos. I hope wherever you are the weather is slightly less miserable than it is here. It was supposed to be lovely and hot and it's cold and raining and has been all morning. My fault for believing the weather man, I guess.


	139. It's Us

Clarke climbed over the smoldering ruins, struggling not to trip over on the beams that stuck out at odd angles. Some of the wood at the far corner was still on fire and she was glad her boots were so thick, if not very worn, after all the time she had spent on the ground. The middle of the collapsed mansion was indeed sloping. She and Lexa led the way over the building and stood at the edge of a small drop, where below there was a metal pair of ladders protruding from a circular hole in the ground. There was a broken metal door hanging near to the hole and the explosion must have torn it off its hinges.

If Raven understood one thing, it was how to make an impact with a bomb. She'd been right all along. The centre of everything was under the building. At least here there were ladders too rather than a drop to who knows where in the bunker; they could plan and make a proper assault.

'Down we go then.' Kane said, walking slightly unsteadily towards them over the debris.

'This ought to be fun.' Murphy said, looking down at the ladder.

Lexa jumped down to the hole that was only a few feet below before Clarke even got a chance to say anything and she reached over and started climbing down the ladders.

'Hey!' Clarke called and Lexa froze at the top of the ladder. 'Wait for me! We do this together.'

Clarke jumped down and was slightly surprised to find the ground made of concrete. It had been harder to discern just a few feet above due to the shade of the fallen building. She reached for the ladder as Lexa started her descent again however, she was stopped when Raven called out to her and threw down one of the lights from her pack. Raven had one and tied it with some wire to her wrist and Clarke grabbed the loose wire on hers and did the same. She let Lexa climb down for a moment before she followed and as she made her way down, she saw Murphy lower himself on the ladder. It was another few minutes before she heard both Murphy and Zoran talking to Raven and helping her down.

Clarke stretched out against the ladder so she could see further ahead. Raven was only a few rungs down but Murphy looked ready to grab her if need be. Clarke glanced down at Lexa who hadn't missed this and gave her a reassuring nod that they would take as long as they needed to. Clarke looked beyond Lexa and found, without surprise but a great deal of bitterness, that in the darkness it was impossible to tell how deep this new bunker went.

After half an hour of climbing, Clarke was beginning to have her doubts. She had no idea how Raven was still hanging onto the ladder. Her own arms felt like they wanted to drop off and every so often she swayed unsteadily against the ladder and she felt Lexa rush up the distance between them as if ready to catch her. Being in the dark and not on solid ground for such an extended period had thrown her senses completely off.

'This is irritating.' Murphy muttered.

'Just be glad there's no waterfalls.' Clarke retorted, under her breath but she couldn't help but privately agree with Murphy.

They climbed on for several more minutes before Lexa called up that she thought she could see the ground. The only time Clarke had been quite so happy to see the ground had been the day the drop ship was launched from the earth but that had been a far more perilous journey. She was glad when she could see the ground and as Lexa stepped off the ladder gracefully, Clarke jumped down next to her just happy to not have to climb anymore.

Clarke swung the light around her wrist and grabbed it, holding it up so that they could see along the bunker. They were in what seemed like an endless tunnel that stretched out ahead and behind them. There were pipes runnings across the ceiling and some through the middle of the floor. Raven eased herself down and held up the light, quickly going to inspect them and she pulled out her monitor pad.

'I'm picking up heat transmissions from the pipe.' Raven said, looking at the screen that bathed her face in light against the backdrop of an engulfing darkness.

Raven's forehead was coated in beads of sweat and as she was bent over her leg was at an odd angle, as though trying to keep the weight off it. The climb down had clearly taken its toll.

'There's no way for me to connect in anywhere here. There's no open servers but with the pipes I'm certain this is where the power has been transferred to.' She said, grimacing slightly as she stood up.

'A big old tunnel?' Murphy asked.

'It's not a tunnel.' Raven said. 'This whole thing is covered in concrete.'

'To protect from radiation?' Kane asked and Raven nodded. 'Then we aren't inside yet.'

Clarke glanced up along the tunnel.

'We should start moving. We can't stay here.'

A trickle of unease spread through Clarke as she looked across to both tunnel paths. There was no way to tell where to go. In the darkness, Clarke was beginning to question whether they should have come down here when the bunker had already taken Octavia, Echo and Indra although admittedly, they didn't know what state they had been left in.

'There's no way in hell I'm climbing back up.' Raven grumbled, watching Clarke look back to the ladder, and she started along the corridor.

The others went to follow her but Clarke stepped forward to Lexa.

'Do you feel anything?'

'You would know if I had.' Lexa replied. 'The connection is too strong for anything to be hidden. If this place is still buried I wouldn't expect anything to present itself yet.'

'Hope so.' Clarke muttered but at Lexa's confusion she added, 'this reminds me of the reaper tunnels.'

'That old foe is gone.' Lexa consoled her with a smile, as they followed after the others.

'Great.' Clarke replied with a false smile. 'We just have a new one to face.'

'We don't know that yet, Clarke.' Lexa responded fairly.

'We do.' Clarke snorted. 'It's us.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to say congrats to all those supporting team USA at the Olympics. I think team GB did pretty well...we're just a tiny little island after all :P Hopefully we will rock the Paralympics too. And super congrats to team Refugee, obviously!
> 
> Thank you all for reading still. I don't know how you've managed to stick with it this long but I very much appreciate it :)


	140. Introductions

 Octavia and Echo sprinted into yet another empty marble hall. It looked the same as all of the others. There was a round fountain in the middle and an administration area in the corner. There was almost nobody around though and the few people they had passed, they had managed to avoid but none of them had seemed that engaged with the world around them. Octavia wondered if a war did break out whether they would even notice.

'I think we should have gone down a level.' Echo panted.

Octavia cursed. They had passed by the elevator. They had watched the iron gates to it close and it descend before they could get close to it. Octavia was starting to think whatever this level was it wasn't the main one for activity. There were rarely people about but Octavia had no sense of time, they could just be having lunch. There were no clocks here. No hints of daylight. Nothing to tell them where or when they were.

'Indra can't be that far away.' Octavia reasoned hopelessly.

'They could have her.' Echo panted as she lowered her face to the fountain.

Octavia rushed forwards and seized Echo around the waist, throwing her away from the fountain with such force they both ended up on their backs on the marble floor and swearing loudly. Echo quickly untangled herself from Octavia and jumped up.

'What is wrong with you?' She demanded.

'Don't drink it.' Octavia warned, standing up. 'Something isn't right here...the people...'

'What people?' Echo demanded, looking around wildly and her voice echoed across the room as if to illustrate the point. 'There's no one here!'

'Not many but you saw them.' Octavia argued. 'That woman dancing in the corridor-'

'So she was pathetic, so what?' Echo spat.

'To music we couldn't hear but there was music playing across the other side of the bunker!' Octavia half shouted. 'The woman at the desk laughed at whatever those men were laughing at-'

'You have lost-'

'I am not wrong!' Octavia insisted vehemently. 'Something isn't right here.'

'A lot's not right here, Octavia.' Echo fired back.

'Just don't take anything of theirs until we know for sure.' Octavia practically pleaded.

Echo looked murderous but she didn't step closer to the fountain. Octavia glanced up to the next corridor and sighed, deciding they might as well go before anyone came after them. They headed through the class doors into another corridor. Octavia felt as though she was in a never ending museum. Everything was polished and clean, with light colours everywhere. There were paintings and carvings on the wall, but they were actually etched and held upon the wall and not within frames. The paintings and carvings seemed to be abstract too. Odd lines and circles that Octavia didn't understand but they were all of a similar size as if held by an invisible frame.

The corridor once again separated into several different corridors. There were usually at most four doors to each corridor but they'd not gone through any of them. Some had stained glass as though they were offices and once or twice Octavia was sure she heard activity between them. They took the left corridor and within minutes they saw an iron gate and threw themselves into the elevator. The round light showed that they were on the twentieth level, and the highest. Octavia hit the floor below them and the elevator smoothly set about its journey.

'Big place.' Echo muttered. 'Let's hope your Trikru friend isn't in any harvest chamber.'

Octavia paled for a moment and threw Echo a sickened look but soon the gate was opening and they were forced to step out into this new and strange world.

The floors and walls were still made of the same marble but they were in a wide corridor with pillars scattered along. There were also two desks at either side although both were unoccupied and there was an enormous archway in front of them and through that they could see a row of beds that were covered in white linen.

They walked through the hall way to the archway. Their footsteps sounded dull against the marble and they looked around to see if anyone was nearby but there was none. Octavia kept her blade out but she wished she could pull her jacket more tightly around her against the chill of the floor. They stepped into the archway and reveal a long room that was full of what were hospital beds. Octavia looked down to her right and saw what looked like some sort of scanner for patients but Echo kept tugging on her arm.

'What is it?' Octavia hissed and Echo glared at her and pointed to their left, and the far end of the room which was over fifty feet away.

Octavia's mouth opened slightly as she took in the sleeping form of Indra, out of her armor and tucked up beneath the white blankets. Octavia ran to her, her feet beating the marble enough to wake  Indra with a start and Echo trailed rather languidly behind. The right hand side of Indra's face was covered in a large bruise that stretched from her jaw up to her cheek. Octavia hurled the blankets across the bed and Indra was wearing a simple white nightgown but Echo swept a bag up from under the bed and revealed Indra's armor.

'What took you so long?' Indra demanded furiously as soon as her eyes focused upon them, and she swung her legs over the bed.

Echo snorted.

'We're great, thanks for your concern.'

'Does Azgeda require a hug after every incident now?' Indra spat but Octavia cut across them both.

'We don't have time for you two to argue.'

She threw Indra's arm over her and pulled her up. Echo ripped the armor out of the bag but a faint tapping noise of a heel against the floor stopped them in their tracks.

'I was hoping for a conversation before you fled.'

Octavia gave Echo a look of incredulity before they turned, with Indra, and took in the woman looking benignly at them.

The woman appeared to be in her early forties, with dark skin and long hair. She wore a crisp suit but her demeanor did not seem at all challenging and that just put Octavia further on edge. Octavia stepped back slightly, pulling Indra with her. Her eyes showed no fear but an automatic hatred. If this was to be an inevitable fight to the death then Octavia was not about to show any weakness.

'You're not taking Indra.' Octavia said quickly, commanding as much authority to her voice as she could. 'Or us.'

'You came here.' The woman said, sighing slightly. 'I am Hestia. I have also offered your friend help after you broke into our home.'

The words were still spoken in much the same friendly manner but Octavia's eyes narrowed and her hand inched closer to her blade.

'Now,' Hestia said, slightly more crisp, 'what is the pass phrase?'

Octavia stiffened and she could feel Echo's curious gaze burning into her. If Hestia wanted the pass phrase then she wanted Lexa. She just hoped that the people here had no knowledge of the secondary Flame; it seemed entirely impossible but then nothing at all seemed possible that had come to pass.

Hestia watched Octavia closely but her face remained impassive. The pass phrase had been the reason that ALIE had been reluctant to try to kill Lexa and Clarke, it could protect them now or it could be the reason for their death. She remained silent.

Hestia glanced to Echo and titled her head, as though inspecting something mildly curious.

'You do not seem like you are connected. Neither have of posses the Flame.' Hestia spoke, mostly to herself.

'Who are you people?' Octavia said, before she could stop herself.

Hestia smiled again warmly at them.

'We were Becca's choice.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all :) I have tried to leave a lot of clues about what's going on so it'll be fun to see if you guess. I'm still amazed nobody guessed O and Clarke were sisters :P 
> 
> Thank you for comments and kudos :)


	141. Ghosts Cling On

Lexa was not reveling in this new environment. The heat in The Dead Zone had been sweltering, especially at mid day, but right now she could easily have been convinced that she had been placed inside one of the ovens that had occupied the kitchens of the tower in Polis. As impressive as her Commander's outfit was, she was incredibly uncomfortable and could feel the sweat dripping down her back. The heat from the pipes and the oppressive feel of the deep tunnels was almost overwhelming and they had been walking for what felt like hours, although they had no way to tell. Her fingers brushed the watch that Clarke's father had once owned. It had become a habit since Clarke had entrusted her with its possession.

'We have to be getting close.' Zoran said half hopefully and half in complaint and it was for the dozenth time.

Zoran had not enjoyed the excursion down the tunnel. Lexa was not surprised; she assumed that there had been few times in his life where he had ever been in such a confined space. Arkadia was probably the only time but at least he could come and go as he pleased and it hadn't been buried underground.

'Or we're walking endlessly only to collapse to our deaths.' Murphy replied and Lexa glared at him.

'We'll be getting close.' Clarke reasoned.

'How do you know that?' Murphy asked, incredulous.

'Because there were ladders.' Kane interjected. 'If nobody used them then they wouldn't be there at all.'

Murphy seemed to accept this with a slight nod, but only after Lexa threw him a withering gaze and he accepted defeat. They did not need doubts now.

They continued on for another half an hour but Lexa froze when he foot made a dull thud against the floor.  Clarke grabbed her light and shone it down at the floor to see a metal cover.

'See.' Lexa said, smiling at Murphy who merely gave a soft 'tut'.

 Lexa stepped off the metal cover and she lifted it up with Kane and Zoran, discarding it on the concrete with a shrieking rattle. Kane panted lightly and rubbed his forehead, his face suddenly lit up by the floor below. There was a small drop of seven feet and they glanced at Raven.

'I can do it.' She said instantly.

'No.' Lexa said. 'We don't know what awaits us and with the Flame taking over Clarke's mind before we need to be ready for whatever awaits. Kane will go down first. Murphy, you will hang and Raven will climb down you and jump, with Kane prepared to catch, then you will jump, Murphy. Zoran will follow and Clarke and I will jump last.'

Lexa ignored Raven's fierce look at this suggestion but it was the only choice they had. She could understand pride being a factor but Raven was their hope to solving all of this. Lexa had privately worried about what impact losing Wick would have on Clarke; he had been the one to design the secondary Flame and she couldn't help but be concerned she was somehow leading Clarke into danger by continuing with this mission but it was Clarke's choice. Raven though, seemed to understand the ways of the Flame better than anyone Lexa had ever known, including Titus. Lexa struggled to sometimes make sense of Skaikru's technology and ways but Clarke trusted Raven, and of all of Clarke's friends Raven had proved to be the most loyal to her.

Kane checked that the floor was clear and everybody slowly made their way down. Clarke gave her a look of nerves as they stood alone in the tunnel and Lexa smiled encouragingly.

'We're finally here.'

'Wherever here is.' Clarke said, after a deep breath and Lexa ran her fingers up Clarke's forearm and watched her body relax slightly.

'We'll be okay.'

Lexa swung her legs over the side before she lowered herself. She clung onto the edge with her hands for a moment before dropping gracefully. They seemed to be in a room that looked similar to Clarke's descriptions of Dante's office in Mount Weather. There was a large desk to the side of the room and numerous books and ornaments were held on a cabinet against the far wall. Everything was covered in a light marble and there was an open door that led to a bathroom just to the side. Raven was already at the desk and on her monitor pad as Lexa moved out of the way and Clarke dropped down swiftly, but landing slightly clumsily compared to Lexa.

Clarke hit some of the dust from her clothes. Lexa was glad to see her in the light again but she looked tired and as covered in sweat and dust as Lexa suspected she herself looked.

'Found anything?' Clarke asked Raven.

'Give me a minute.' Raven muttered.

'Normally you'd have found it by now.' Zoran offered but Raven slowly moved her head from the screen to give him a dark look.

'It is complicated.' She seethed slightly and Zoran was clearly struggling not to laugh.

Raven had turned on the monitor that was on the desk too. The desk was made of a dark wood and covered in a screen that took over most of its surface. Writing came up that Lexa could not make sense of but Raven seemed perfectly at ease going between her pad and the desk.

'I'm following the power trail.' Raven explained. 'There's a core we can access, right at the heart of the place. We're on the twentieth level and I think we need to be on the eighth.'

'Eight.' Clarke said, suddenly. 'The sign of Heda.'

Raven ndoded but she did not look to Clarke.

'This place is full of people-actual people, not the City of Light,' Raven clarified. 'I can just see different energy outputs. They've got different stations too for food and water. The size of this place, there could be thousands.'

'Terrific.' Murphy replied dully.

'Did we really expect anything else?' Clarke asked.

'They will only become a problem if they discover we are here.' Lexa said but her head snapped up as the door across the far wall opened and Clarke jumped back in horror.

Lexa grabbed Clarke holding her steady and Murphy and Zoran looked at them both in shock.

'Mom?'

Clarke's voice was little more than a choked whisper and Lexa stared at Abby, her eyes narrowed and she watched and waited for any sign of danger.

'Bellamy was right. You found your way.' Abby said, her eyes focused only upon Clarke.

Lexa stood in shock and amazement but she pulled a shaking Clarke so that she was half hidden behind her, as though Lexa was shielding her. Even after everything Lexa was not used to the dead and she had not forgotten what Abby had tried to do when she had been alive.

Murphy however, only stared at them and Lexa instantly understood.

'You are so close. Abandon Wanheda and lead Skaikru.' Abby urged before stepping out of the room and shutting the door with a quiet creak.

Lexa rushed forwards and looked out of the door but Abby was gone. She turned back and Clarke had sank to the floor and Lexa moved back to her while everyone looked on in confusion.

'Clarke,' Lexa said quickly and firmly, trying to rouse her.

Clarke could sink so quickly into her depression. She had witnessed it after Bellamy's death and after the City of Light. Lexa had to break the cycle.

'It was the Flame. Your mother was not here. It was a message.'

'It's true.' Murphy said gently, coming to kneel on Clarke's over side as Lexa held her close. 'I didn't see her. None of us did.'

Clarke swallowed and took a harsh breath. Kane had not moved, he was staring at the door and had been since Clarke had said the words 'mom' as though willing Abby to appear to him. Raven had also remained quite still. Her face was contorted with fear.

'Bellamy came when we needed him, and now Abby has.' Lexa soothed.

Clarke had to know that ghosts and memories could not haunt or hurt her. They offered aid and strength through their love. Clarke feared the dead as much as she feared her friends ever meeting their dying moments.

'Why them?' Clarke asked bitterly. 'Why not any memory?'

'Because you carry them with you the most. Our Flames have led us down this path but you needed Bellamy when you were injured. The people closest to me...Anya, Titus, Gustus...I don't carry them with me like you do with Bellamy or your mother. You see them vividly.'

Lexa did not know the inner workings of code but she had spent enough time with the Flame and connected to Clarke that she had learnt about its power. It was buried in their subconsciousness. It used them and they used the Flame, or its connection, and quite possibly both simultaneously. Costia couldn't be recalled because Clarke had never known her and Bellamy and Abby were both people Clarke had once took direction from. Those days were gone, but they still clung to Clarke. They needed someone of Skaikru, who understood the ways of technology to deliver the message, but they needed a grounder to guide them to what it meant. Lexa would give that to them and Clarke was the one giving the message, even in the form of her own memories.

'I don't want to see her again.' Clarke said, finally, her voice quiet.

Lexa's heart clenched for Clarke. She knew how Clarke had, as much as she could, put aside her grief for Abby. So much had happened during that time. Clarke couldn't stand any more pain. She'd just begun to heal from what happened with Bellamy and her father in the City of Light.

'We thought you might see something coming here.' Raven finally said, and Lexa could tell that she too was holding back tears. 'But if she's gone...then that's it. Bellamy went too.'

Clarke wiped her face roughly and her expression turned to one of a quiet rage that Lexa knew so well.

'Let's get Octavia and the others then we go to the core.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Thank you for all of your comments and kudos! Sorry this update was a little slower!


	142. Assimilation

'The first Commander?' Indra asked, in a voice full of awe and wonder.

Octavia glanced at Indra and frowned slightly. She wouldn't let anything about the commanders sway them. This place wasn't right. They had to get back to Clarke and the others. If they wanted Lexa's Flame then this whole journey had been a trap.

'Yes.' Hestia said.

'You are another clan?'

'No.' Hestia shook her head, but she still smiled. 'We were an alternative. We were never assimilated into the clans.'

'Then what are you?' Octavia demanded, her voice hissed over each syllable.

Hestia's eyes bored into Octavia's but there was little impatience there. Octavia never broke away from her gaze but she knew they were short on time and she had to find a way to escape. If this was their leader then the chances were they were being watched even more closely than they probably had been just for breaking in. The technology here looked similar to the levels of Mount Weather and that meant that they could have any number of weapons: including guns. Octavia was confident of her fighting abilities, and Echo's, but they would have little chance if they had guns.

'Why did you come here?' Hestia asked, ignoring Octavia's question.

Octavia glared at Echo as a warning to say nothing of Lexa and Clarke but the expression on Echo's face told her she needed little incentive. Echo seemed just as distrustful, while Indra was struggling to stand on her own two feet so Octavia forcefully tried to guide her to the bed but Indra pushed her off.

'To make sure there was nothing left of ALIE.' Octavia said quickly, sensing Indra's curiosity ever since the first commander had been mentioned. 'We were sent to make sure the clans were finally free.'

'Then we fell through a big hole in the floor.' Echo spat with disgust, although she managed to restrain herself from giving Indra a look full of accusation.

Octavia wasn't at all convinced that Hestia believed their story. For one thing, ALIE had lay dormant for years without anybody realising and for another, Indra had been wearing her armor which was more decorated than most. If Hestia had knowledge of the clans then this story had already fallen apart as it would be easy to figure out that Indra was obviously the leader of Trikru.

Hestia nodded though and Octavia didn't miss that she understood who ALIE was, or more specifically, what ALIE was.

'ALIE was the failed project of Becca. Our existence was supposed to erase the need for her. However, ALIE's plans were accelerated and she was able to be unleashed. From here, we were able to keep a basic monitor on her activities. Not enough so that she would detec t our existence. Our researchers saw code being uploaded into the City of Light.'

'And you did nothing?' Octavia asked fiercely.

She was outraged that they had seen so many be uploaded to the City of Light and had done nothing. They had technology here. They could have helped.

'We were not designed to stop her but our discovery would have made her irrelevant.'

'Then why not show yourselves?' Echo challenged.

'That is not our way.' Hestia replied. 'We are here to maintain life. We were first an experiment to see whether Becca's plan had worked, then any who came to us would be offered the same choice. We were to keep this going until the ones with the Flame presented themselves.'

'The ones?' Octavia asked carefully.

'Yes, Becca left herself a choice of commander and then through the ages the Flame would be passed down by her selected genetic pool. She transformed her own blood to black, as well as those of her most trusted advisers from the different clans, and made sure that only those with specific genetic components would inherit it. That meant that those with black blood would not always produce an heir. It was still a rare choice, but she had calculated it to ensure that it was impossible for there to be a generation without at least two black blood candidates.'

'She didn't care about what those kids would go through?' Octavia asked bitterly, thinking of the young Nightbloods marked from birth by the blood that flowed through their veins.

'The life of a Nightblood has hardships but there is also privilege: the best healers, to live in the capital and to receive the best education.' Hestia sighed. 'That was Becca's decision.'

'So how do you fit in?'

'Becca never thought that the Flame would be the only device created as a way to provide enlightenment while ensuring stability through a leader. She was sure someone would challenge it- beyond more than trying to kill whoever was the Commander.' Hestia stated. 'She reveled in that. I think she felt lonely, having to give up so much of what she loved to be able to survive on the ground. There was technology here but she had to focus on making the ground survivable through peace so she was willing to wait within the Flame, and dedicate her life on the ground to the people.'

Octavia couldn't help but both admire and pity the first commander. She could never give up who she was to fit in. She had tried, and it had always failed. Becca must have been driven either by love for her people or the guilt of ALIE- probably both. She just wanted to make things right.

'How are you here?' Indra prompted.

'We survived. This bunker had been created a long time ago. Many places were. The world was full of ways to annihilate each other, of course there were plans developed to survive.'

'Will you die in radiation?' Octavia asked, her mind inevitably returning to the Mountain Men.

'No.' Hestia shook her head. 'This facility has held its own weapons and nuclear power. It does not any longer. But through radiation treatments to build our immunity, genetic manipulations and allowing grounders who stumbled upon this place to live here our systems have developed over the near century. We can leave if we want.'

'Then why haven't you?' Echo asked, looking around in repulsion.

'What does the ground offer us?' Hestia challenged. 'There is only death. We have peace. We have a way of life that works.'

'We have peace.' Indra retorted. 'The Commander ensured that _blood must not have blood_ is followed.'

'Perhaps.' Hestia replied, sounding doubtful. 'But how long until that is broken, if it hasn't been already?'

She knew Indra would want to argue and defend Lexa's policy, if only to defend Lexa, but Octavia's focus drifted to Clarke and the secondary Flame.

'What happens when there are two candidates? One who has the original Flame and the one who has the new one?' Octavia asked.

'The choice will be triggered. Becca believed they together would be able to make the decision.'

'What decision?' Indra asked.

'To become one of us.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I know my updates have been at quite inconsistent times this week but it's just been hectic. I've had extra shifts, gotten a regular freelance writing job, and just been accepted for an MA course and I've been struggling a bit to manage my health so I'm just all over the place. I'm blame all of those things if there are any typos I've missed too. 
> 
> Heads up/spoiler alert: I'm introducing the first specifically stated trans* character in the fic pretty soon (if I've counted chapters right). That's not to say there's never been one before. With gender of characters I tend to be quite vague with a lot of characters. My focus has always been on characters though that the show provided, due to me wanting to take the threads of that story and weave it into a new one. It meant that this final journey for me always had to be with the show's characters rather than with mine as the core group. Plus, as much as I wanted to introduce a trans character a lot earlier but my problem was that all of my original characters died and had to die so I could do this final arc with the show's characters. I thought it would be pretty bad to go from BYG to 'bury your trans character'. So of course, another reassurance that this queer character lives. 
> 
> Also, if anyone has any recommendations for a good ipad please let me know. Seeking help from every possible nerd that I can today because apparently I know *absolutely* nothing which is really quite appalling given the amount of sci fi I watch and read. :P


	143. How We Work

'You think we should guard the bunker too?' Miller asked Harper and Bryan, as they sat by a fire outside of the ruins of the mansion but Bryan shook his head.

'Raven said this was the main entrance. If anything comes, they'll go for that.' Bryan replied.

'Maybe I should have just gone.' Harper muttered, throwing a small flower into the fire.

She shuffled awkwardly. She found it impossible to keep still, always waiting for something to leap out and attack them. She pulled her metal hand so that it was across her knees and she pulled her legs so that they were slightly more stretched out on the large beam of wood where she sat.

'Would you have been able to get down the ladder?' Bryan asked.

Harper stared at her hand before answering.

'I think so. I could have locked on and locked off when I needed so I'd probably be more secure than anyone else. It would just take time.' Harper said, and then she sighed, annoyed. 'We don't even know if they're alive.'

'We will when they come back up.' Miller responded.

'That might not happen.' Bryan murmured.

'We wait as long as it takes.' Miller insisted. 'Clarke never thought about leaving you.'

Bryan dropped his head slightly and kicked up some ash so that it fell into the fire.

'We stay on guard. That's what we're trained for. They might not even need us but it's the least we can do.'

* * *

 

It took Raven less than ten minutes to hack into the surveillance system, which was far more concentrated the further down the levels they were going to go. Raven didn't simply disable them as that would alert everyone that they were here. She made the surveillance record for a further ten minutes before playing it on a loop so that they could come and go as they pleased but the cameras would only be playing what they had already seen, rather than recording.

The wait for Raven to do this had not been a comfortable one. Murphy had been particularly anxious and they'd had a terse argument about how long Raven should record for but as Raven relished pointing out, she knew this better than anyone so if Murphy thought he was so clever he should do it himself.

The bigger problem, they all soon discovered, was trying to make their way down there. With her pad and her access to most of the systems (although she couldn't get anywhere near the core) meant that they could easily find the elevators. However, it wasn't quite as straightforward as Clarke had hoped it would be. For one thing, the further down the levels they went, the more people there were and by the time they got to level fifteen, Clarke was on the edge of throwing them back in the elevator and telling them to get out of here. Raven was good at being able to track activity by the bunker people and made sure they were taking the longest routes where little power was being used. Less power meant less people and this meant a lot of time rushing between corridors, and even at one point, breaking through a vent to cross from one side of a hall with yet another fountain to the other side, although they were all at least the vent had been considerably cooler than the tunnel.

The other problem lay with the fact that not one elevator went from the very top floor to the very bottom, despite the numbers on them. Raven had assumed that this was a safeguard if this place housed anything remotely nuclear or that the floors were added underneath the bunker as they couldn't place them on top of the concrete casing they were effectively shielded by and so they would have had to add more elevators to the existing ones. Raven seemed even more intrigued than ever by the bunker due to its design but Clarke privately agreed with Murphy that she didn't give a damn and just wanted this over with, not that she told Raven that after she had given Murphy yet another tremendous scowl.

The elevators weren't simply next to each other either but often across the other side of the floor, which Clarke considered to be enormous. Its length and width were at least three times the size of Mount Weather. Clarke's legs were already weary with the journey to get to the bunker and she wondered what state they'd all be in if they ever even made it to level eight.

Raven led them around the back of a main hall and they dodged into a corridor at the far end of the floor. Lexa threw her arms out to stop them as they heard the click of heels up the corridor and they dove into the nearest room. Clarke felt over the cool marble walls before finally finding a light switch and she blinked quickly as the beam caught her by surprise.

The room looked like a very small library; it was narrow but filled with two book cases against the walls and and a desk pressed up against the back wall.

'I thought they would have had more.' Clarke said, running a finger along some of the books.

A lot of the books were dusty and they all seemed to be works of literature, with very little nonfiction. Some of the spines didn't hold a single crease and Clarke wondered how often they were ever even looked at.

'Why?' Raven asked.

'Mount Weather had a giant storage facility just for the artwork.' Clarke shrugged. 'This isn't that big.'

'This isn't Mount Weather.' Murphy reasoned.

'We don't know what it is.' Clarke replied.

Zoran pulled a book off the shelf next to him and began flicking through the pages which were covered in art. Clarke glanced across and saw that some of them looked as though they were early religious artworks. Zoran paused at a page where a man stood with his arms outstretched and his head bowed before what looked like demons.

'Sa-sa-' Zoran stuttered over the words that were in elaborate and bold writing across the top of the picture.

'Sacrifice.' Raven said, looking over his shoulder.

The door creaked open and everyone paled. A young person slipped, who was no more than seventeen, and their eyes went wide in surprise. They closed the door behind them softly and pressed their back up against it and Clarke was sure they were already regretting that decision.

'Hello.' They said.

Clarke and Lexa traded looks mingled with horror and incredulity.

'Hello.' Murphy said, with a nudge in Clarke's back.

They visibly swallowed and were pushing so hard against the door Clarke thought it might fall off its hinges.

'Who are you?' They said nervously, glancing at Lexa's blade and outfit which Clarke knew was intimidating to see for the first time.

'We're not here to hurt you.' Clarke said, delicately, her eyes wide and she stepped forward but their hand clenched around the door knob.

'That's not what I asked.' They said, and Clarke froze.

She softened slightly and tried to give a small reassuring smile.

'I'm Clarke. These are my friends.' Clarke said, looking at them. 'We need something and then we are going to leave.'

'From this room?' They asked, in disbelief.

'No, on level eight.' Raven said.

Their eyes narrowed at this but they looked as though they were seriously considering this, rather than being suspicious. Clarke considered them curiously for a brief moment. It seemed that this suggestion of going to level eight was not entirely unexpected.

'Level eight is where we were created.' They said slowly. 'I'm Manto.'

Clarke heard Raven repeated the word 'created' in confusion under her breath. Raven would have questions but more than anything they had to get to level eight first and then figure out everything after. If they stayed here anybody could find them. They had to keep moving.

'Manto, will you help us?' Clarke asked quickly before Raven could question them. 'We have something that's broken, that needs fixing. We live outside and our people need help. Fixing this can help us survive. We don't want to hurt you, we just want to live.'

'And if I don't help you?' Manto asked.

Clarke took a breath and considered them carefully, before deciding that the truth for once might help.

'Then we'll knock you out, tie you up and hide you so that you can't tell anyone. When we leave then we'll let people know where you are.' Clarke said seriously. 'You can't get there.'

Clarke's eyes latched onto Manto's hand that was shaking against the door.

'This is the Commander of the thirteen clans. I'm Wanheda, you might not know that name but there are hundreds dead because of me. Murphy will do whatever it takes to survive, and Zoran is the quickest person here. You won't escape and Raven has told us everyone is in the main hall so even if you do get to the door, you can't outrun us and no one will hear your cries for help.'

Lexa stepped forward and Manto's eyes flicked to her.

'I swear I will honour any commitment you give us. We will not harm you but we must continue with our journey, with or without your help.' Lexa spoke calmly. 'The choice is yours.'

'You've really given me no choice at all.' Manto retorted quietly.

'That's how we work.' Murphy smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for still reading, for your comments, kudos, plugging this on soc med. You're just all awesome. :)


	144. Farm Station

'Why would we become one of you?' Octavia asked, in sheer disbelief.

'So you are with the Com-'

There was a dull thud as Hestia dropped to the floor and Echo stood over her, having quickly pulled out her blade and hit Hestia across the back of the head.

'Put your armor on.' Octavia told Indra quickly.

Hestia crawled to get up but Echo's boot slammed into the base of her back and kept her in place. Octavia helped Indra struggle into the armor and once she was ready they sped through the corridor and back to the elevator where Octavia pressed to go down to the lower levels, hoping the elevator would stop near the bottom but it jerked to a halt and the gates opened after only travelling a few floors.

'Why have we come further down?' Echo demanded as they threw themselves out of the elevator and started charging across the floor to find the next one.

'The time we've taken. Clarke and Lexa have got to be in here by now. We need to find them.' Octavia told her as they ran.

Octavia didn't understand. They'd just attacked their leader and yet there were no alarms. No one was coming for them.

'What about what she said about the first commander?' Indra asked, skeptical.

'If you believed any of that you deserve to be lied to.' Octavia retorted proudly. 'Nuclear weapons that they don't have anymore? Yeah, right. We need to get to Clarke and Lexa- now.'

They dodged down yet more corridors but two people were making the way out of one of the doors. A man pulled a slightly taller women into a soft embrace before they turned at the sound of feet pounding towards them. Echo, Indra and Octavia reacted instinctively and they all pulled out their blades and ran them through with them, barely stopping as the bodies slumped to the floor. The crimson blood quickly poured over the white marble but Octavia and the others carried on their way.

They bowled round the corner and launched into the nearest elevator going down yet another floor.

'What happens when they find the bodies?' Echo panted.

'It doesn't matter. They know we're here already. I'm not getting cornered like at Mount Weather.' Octavia spat.

* * *

 

Lexa and the others slipped into the next floor. There was a large metal door ahead of them which looked so unlike anything they had seen up until this point. Manto stopped at the door and noticed them all hesitating but Lexa stepped forward and wrenched it open. There was a sea of green as crops towered over them, some at least six feet tall.

'Woah.' Zoran muttered under his breath.

'This is incredible.' Kane said. 'These crops...the scale of them...'

Water was being sprayed every so often in different directions. It was like a living warehouse full of food. Bright synthetic lights beamed down over specific plants and in the corner there were even trees growing apples. Lexa marveled. It was as if somebody had lifted the lands of Trikru and placed them under a roof.

'We need to keep moving.' Lexa told them and they made their way through the path that led between the containers which held the crops.

Zoran jumped up and grabbed a cob of corn and bit into it eagerly and Lexa found that she had to restrain from glaring at him.

Manto led them onward and it was over half an hour's walk before they made it to the other end of the facility. Lexa was not surprised by its scale, if their estimates were right then thousands of people could be living down here. There were hundreds at the very least and Lexa did not want them awakened to their presence.

'That place is huge.' Zoran muttered.

'They have to feed them somehow, Kid Chaos.' Raven muttered.

As they exited the metal doors there was a bang down one of the corridors. Manto quickly ushered them down a corridor and Lexa waited with her hand on her blade.

'See anything?' Clarke whispered, as she pressed close to her and Lexa stole a glance round the corridor.

'Two.'

They were both in conversation for a moment before one entered the warehouse of food shutting the door behind and the other went up the corridor he last came. Lexa breathed a sigh of relief but then she froze as he turned back and headed straight down the corridor towards where they were crammed around the side.

Lexa slowly slipped her blade out and when he was within five feet she lunged forwards. The man started but Manto jumped in the way and Lexa barely managed to halt the swing of her blade before it met Manto.

'Dont!' Manto shouted.

The man didn't spare Manto a second glance but scrambled up the corridor, desperate to get away.

'They're here!' He screamed. 'They're here!'

His voice reverberated  across the corridor and Clarke jumped from behind the side where they were hiding, her face mirroring the frustration that Lexa felt. Lexa gave Manto a dark look before moving to chase after him but they stepped in front of her again.

'Don't! You can't!' Manto pleaded desperately.

'I can't let him live.' Lexa hissed.

'Attack one of us and you attack all us!' Manto cried frantically and Lexa froze.

'What did you say?' Lexa demanded quickly.

Manto however, paled. They clutched at their heart and after a second they raised their hands to the mouth before slipping to the floor and sobbing quietly.

'It can't-no-' Manto sobbed.

'What the hell?' Murphy asked staring down at Manto, bewildered.

Manto pulled on their hair and looked in total anguish. They glanced up at Murphy who stepped back at the pain behind the gaze.

'You were supposed to be better than this. I trusted them. I broke the cause.' Manto sobbed.

Tears dripped down Manto's face. One clung to their chin, fighting a futile battle against whatever grief was ripped through Manto. Manto slowed exhaled, trying to gain some strength. None of them dared to approach Manto. Slowly, Manto looked between Lexa and Clarke.

'You're not what they said you'd be.' Manto said bitterly. 'You are the bringers of death.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to anyone who has figured out what's going on :P And speaking of kudos...I wonder if this fic can get to 800 by the end. 8 is now a special number in this story too so it would be fitting *bribes* ;P 
> 
> Thank you to everyone still reading! I'm working most of Sunday and Monday but I'm hopefully going to catch up on some writing tomorrow morning so I should still get the chapters out...and maybe even a couple of extra ones. Also, at the end of this fic I'm doing a chapter that's going to answer some questions that people have asked me throughout. This is because I just couldn't answer them before without major spoilers as there are a lot of clues that go from s4 that are relevant to the end. I will post it at the same time as the last chapter though and put an author's note at the bottom of the actual final chapter just so no one thinks it is new content. If it's not your thing that's cool but if you do have questions then get them in before the end and I shall answer them :)


	145. Teasing the Trap

Manto started to hit their head several times before slamming their fists against the floor. They closed their eyes and heaved a great shuddering breath.

'I can do this. I can still do this.' They breathed before opening their eyes and looking back between Clarke and Lexa. 'We have to move.'

Manto stood up slowly as the place was bathed in an amber light and a low siren roared throughout the corridors. Clarke looked around wildly, panic stricken.

'I think they know we're here.' Murphy shouted, over the noise.

'We should leave now while we can.' Kane said quickly.

'No.' Lexa shook her head. 'The exits are exactly where they will head to seal us in.'

'So what? We stay here?' Murphy asked.

'We go do what we came to do and get to the eighth floor.' Clarke responded with much more determination than she felt.

Lexa was right; the people of the bunker would flood to block any exits. At the very least that might make their journey to level eight easier but only if they were lucky and somehow they never were.  

'I can help you get there.' Manto said, and Clarke didn't miss how much their hands were trembling.

'If you had let us kill that guy we wouldn't be in this mess.' Murphy retorted.

'Why?' Lexa asked Manto, cutting across Murphy. 'You did not wish to before.'

'I wasn't supposed to get involved-'

'We can sort that the truth from lies later.' Kane urged. 'Right now, we have to move.'

'I agree.' Lexa said.

Manto nodded their head and they rather reluctantly led them through the corridors. Even Clarke had to accept they had little choice and she couldn't help the relief when they rounded the corner and founded themselves already at the next elevator. Manto pressed the button and Clarke was surprised when they went down another few floors: it was an improvement, and Clarke would take almost anything right now. Murphy however, disagreed and begun swearing that they couldn't just get to where they needed.

Clarke couldn't believe that when they stepped off the elevator, into another floor still covered in amber light, that it was empty. The sirens had also been silenced and Clarke couldn't help but fear that someone should have been here. If they had signaled the alarms then surely they would have checked the surveillance system by now. Raven had overridden it and had made it so they'd have to break through the passwords that she'd changed but that would not take long. There may have been a rush to close the exits but Clarke would have left at least a few behind to search the floors.

'This is too easy.' Clarke said, shaking her head.

Lexa gave her a look that conveyed her own deep distrust.

Manto led them hurriedly through the next hall and rounded around the outside of the floor.

'This floor is for water. It holds a large tank that filters through to the rest of the bunker.' Manto explained as they ran on.

As they dodged between the outskirts it was clear that people were still working and occasionally Clarke would glimpse someone in light blue overalls. Clarke had expected at least some of them to stop working but not one of them did. As they skirted the edges Clarke could make out between the gaps in the corridors that they were working quickly. This floor was completely bizarre. It looked like the upper levels and not somewhere designed for such a specific reason. It was as though the water tank had just been dropped on the floor. There were still paints and carvings on the wall. It was entirely at odds with its own purpose. Nothing in this place felt right.

They made it to the nearest elevator but that only took them down one floor and Clarke quickly decided that this floor was the strangest of the lot. There were over twelve rooms filled with tables and chairs that were for studying for all ages but there were no books and no boards for presentations. They were also completely empty. Clarke's panic returned to full strength. The people had to be somewhere.

As they went on, they took more care rounding each corridor in case someone were to appear and threaten them all. Lexa held her blades ready to take on an army if she must. Murphy kept looking around at anywhere he could and Clarke was sure he was hoping for an escape route or a vent to hide in to suddenly appear. His survivor instinct had kicked in and Clarke couldn't help but be glad that he was with them.

As they traveled, Manto's behavior seemed as erratic as the buildings itself. Manto kept pulling at their hair and every so often would pause for a moment as though trying to compose themselves.

'We're only a few floors away. That's when it'll start. I can do it until then.' Manto said.

'What the hell are they going on about?' Murphy muttered to Lexa and Clarke, both of whom gave him looks of total confusion.

Raven gave a cry as they continued to jog lightly and Clarke and Murphy spun around as Raven clutched her leg.

'I'm fine.'

Zoran beat Murphy to throwing her arm across his shoulder. Raven struggled for a moment but gradually relaxed, although she grimaced as she tried to move forwards.

'I can live with men fighting over me.' Raven joked.

'I've carried the pain medication Nyko gave me.' Clarke said, fumbling for her pockets.

'No,' Raven said, shaking her head firmly, 'I need to stay clear headed for what comes next. Don't worry. You know I've got this.'

Clarke offered her a smile as Raven's gaze was defiant as ever but they both jumped when Manto was next to give out a cry.

'They found them.'

'Found who?' Murphy demanded impatiently.

Manto gave a great shriek and kicked the nearest wall.

'Your friends. There's death. There's just grief. What have they done?'

'Octavia.' Clarke breathed.

'At least we know she's alive.' Raven muttered.

'Yes, your friends are! What of my people?' Manto roared.

'How do you even know this?' Kane asked.

'We have to go!' Manto said furiously. 'They've killed too many! They're coming now!'

There was a crash from a door against the end of the far wall and it flew off its hinges. Octavia, Echo and Indra arrived, storming through it. Indra looked as though she had been battered by the flames of hell; her face was covered in bruises and she was covered in dust. Octavia pulled up short in front of them panting.

'There's exits at the far walls. It can take us to the top level. Just the roof of this place is covered in concrete. We don't have to rely on elevators.' Octavia panted, as she wiped the sweat off her face roughly.

'We do if we have to get to level eight.' Manto hissed, and they looked hatefully at Octavia. 'They're coming because of you.'

'It's true.' Indra said, struggling to catch her breath. 'The levels were quiet at first but we ran into another group. We had to kill them and they've been chasing us ever since.'

'They haven't found us at all.' Murphy said, shooting Manto a look. 'What the hell is going on?'

'They want Clarke and Lexa.' Octavia explained quickly. 'They know about the Flames - both of them. Becca told them. They wanted you to come here.'

'We're going to give them what they want.' Clarke said quickly. 'If they want us, they can't harm you.'

'We have to move.' Lexa urged.

There were thunderous shouts from the outside tunnel Octavia, Echo and Indra had just appeared from. They all turned with a start and two shattering booms rumbled through the bunker.

'Guns?' Raven asked in alarm.

'Apparently.' Kane responded, his face paling rapidly.

'Move!' Lexa roared.

They practically tripped over each other trying to follow Manto. Zoran and Murphy held close to Raven and they launched themselves into the nearest elevator. The elevator was tortuously slow as it ascended to greet them and Clarke and Lexa pulled with all the might on the gates that wouldn't open unless the elevator stopped. The shouts bellowed louder through the corridors and Clarke cried out as the gate was wrenched free and she felt her skin torn yet more blood staining the bunker.

They all pushed in just as the elevator reached the level and they barely fit as Clarke awkwardly pressed for the lowest level as she was squashed between Kane, Manto and Lexa. The light automatically went to level nine and Clarke thanked that at least they would be within striking distance but if this was what the people of the bunker had hoped for then they were slowly descending into a trap they hadn't prepared for at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) thank you for reading and cheers so much for comments and kudos. Yay the group is back together again :):) Well, all of the ones inside the bunker anyway.


	146. Jus Drein Jus Daun

Hestia slammed her fist against the desk.

'We meant them no harm!'

The grounders had walked in here and caused utter chaos. Their had made no moves to attack. They had followed the first commander. They were to support if that was sought by them but that was it. Otherwise they were not supposed to interfere but the grounders had brought a war.

She glanced down at her desk where her screen lay showing the dead bodies that Octavia and her friends had left behind.

'What are they doing?' She asked herself.

She sank in the chair behind her desk. She looked at the bottle of whiskey lying just to the outside of the screen and her hand grabbed it. She pulled off the top and put it to her lips. The amber liquid tasted sweet against her tongue but she held it in her mouth and it gradually warmed. She wrenched the bottle from her and spat the liquid on the floor.

She smashed the bottle against the wood and swore as her hand was covered in blood. She flicked the flecks of glass out of her skin and cursed.

She let the tears run down her face as she rested her elbow on the arm of her chair and let the blood drip to the floor.

'It wasn't my son. It wasn't my daughter. I have no son. I have no daughter. I have no children.' She whispered over and over to herself.

Her blood ran cold when she thought of how she had let them walk into their home. She was their leader. She was supposed to protect her people. She was trying to fulfill the promise to the first commander and give the ground a chance at peace. Anger was burning through her, as strong as any flame behind a launched missile. Her people would want justice. They wanted revenge against the outsiders. The peace between themselves would stay but she couldn't stop the rage at an outside tyrant. As long as the commanders lived, they would fulfill Becca's purpose. The others however, must die.

* * *

 

'So that turned to hell quicker than we planned.' Murphy said.

Clarke turned but she couldn't see him behind the sea of bodies behind her.

'Or not. We thought they'd be chasing us from the start.' Zoran said.

'Some consolation.' Murphy replied.

'What did you mean? You weren't supposed to help us?' Lexa asked in a low and deadly voice to Manto.

'I wasn't supposed to interfere.' Manto muttered dully. 'We were supposed to let you just enter if you ever came here. We knew of the Flame. Our people have waited years. It was said if we didn't stand in your way then peace would still be kept. Your ways are different so trying to get involved could only bring war but you were supposed to save us all. You asked for help and you gave me no choice. This isn't my fault.'

Manto uttered the last sentence in a broken assertion despite that nobody had accused them.

'Clarke,' Octavia said uneasily from somewhere behind her, 'it gets worse.'

'How could it possibly get worse?' Clarke demanded, on the verge of laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

They were crammed in an elevator being transported to where thousands of people could be waiting to kill them. This had been utterly stupid. It was nothing more than a dream seeing Bellamy. She had been pathetic to follow this and had likely led her friends to their death. At least Harper, Miller and Bryan had stayed behind. Wick and Monty were already dead.

'They have nuclear weapons.' Octavia said, her voice weak.

'We think.' Echo emphasised.

Clarke actually did laugh hysterically.

'Oh, you just think? That's okay then!' Clarke cried.

They'd come down into a bunker filled with thousands of people who wanted them dead and now they had nuclear weapons. She'd left the drop ship for this. She had crossed the damn sea for this.

'We'll know soon enough.' Lexa said, trying to remain calm.

'Oh great. I'm so relieved.'

'Clarke,'

'It could just be a bomb-'

'Clarke!' Raven shouted. 'You have me.'

Clarke couldn't even begin to respond before the amber light started to creep in the floor of the elevator and they descended to the ninth level. Clarke could already see feet outside and as they lowered hundreds of people were waiting. Lexa struggled to draw her blades and Kane let out a hiss as Clarke was sure she had caught him but the gates opened and Lexa charged forward with her blades ready to protect them all.

The group circled around them, but Raven and Murphy kept their backs to the elevator to secure the retreat if need be. The hall was still alight with the alarm warning signal but for the first time in this place, Clarke felt the heat against her face as the people of the bunker waited hungrily around them, each wearing the same look of wanting. They were here to satisfy their desire for revenge. Clarke had seen it too much. That look had been on the face of every grounder who had wanted Finn's death- all except Lexa.

They drew tighter to each other, forming a large circular shield. Clarke slipped the dagger out of her belt and she felt the others take similar actions behind them. They didn't have guns but they had still been trained before the Battle for Polis. Clarke had fought her friend to the death. She'd figured out a way to beat the Mountain Men. They'd find a way through this.

There was a click of heels and the crowds parted to reveal a woman, who was staring at Lexa and herself with such reluctant curiosity that Clarke was convinced that this could not end well.

'That's their leader.' Octavia muttered next to her and Clarke gave a small jerk of her head to indicate that she had heard.

She stepped forwards slightly from her own people. Lexa held her blades firmly, ready to strike. She hadn't applied her war paint, not knowing what they were going into but Clarke felt she radiated as much power as ever. Lexa simply possessed a commanding nature and she was amazed that the woman before them dared to stand as still and not shrink back.

'We recognise the Commander of the Blood and the Commander of Death. Hedas, you may find what you seek.' Hestia spoke clearly. 'For the death of our people, the rest must die.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...good luck Lexa and Clarke thinking your way out of this :P 
> 
> Thank you all for reading. I love your comments and reviews. It's strange getting so close to the end. I'm getting very nostalgic. I can hardly believe I'm on the third original season thing of this fic. Tbh there's so much potential with all the different clans and the different settings to be explored, and the different sci fi that could be thrown in it could just go on forever. Hell, at one point I even considered shooting Lexa, Clarke and co back up into space just for the fun of it :P


	147. In Peace May You Leave The Shore

Clarke stiffened next to Lexa but her eyes never left the leader of the Bunker People. There was an angry buzz already around them that seemed to reverberate off the polished marble walls. Octavia's hand twitched slightly next to Clarke's and she felt the younger woman grip her blade tighter and inch it out closer, ready to strike should someone lunge.

'My people were threatened.' Lexa stated calmly.

'My people never threatened yours. You came here. You killed our people.'

Clarke swallowed her fear. They'd started another war they didn't know how to end.

'You told us we were to become one of you.' Octavia hissed.

Clarke stood straighter at these words. They didn't need to join anyone.

'We have Heda. We need no other leader.' Indra declared and Clarke felt a surge of affection for the Trikru leader.

'I am not seeking to become your leader.' Hestia responded coldly.

'Wait, just wait a second.' Kane pleaded and he stepped forward slightly.

Clarke tried to grab him and pull him back but Kane stepped away and gave her a reassuring smile. Clarke reeled. If they showed any weakness they would be vulnerable to attack. They had to stick together.

'You clearly have no problem with our leaders needing to be here but they can't surrender their people. Would you surrender yours to death?' Kane asked.

'I could not.' Hestia replied tightly.

'Exactly. Our people were doing what they thought they needed to in order to survive. It was a mistake.' Kane pleaded. 'I know what it means to lose somebody but needing blood doesn't solve the pain. It can't bring them back.'

'You do not understand.'

Hestia didn't waver at any of Kane's words.

'I know this life, and I know what death means.' Kane said imploringly.

'You know your own ways. You don't know ours.' Manto said quickly and Clarke was surprised to see that they had not moved to separate from the group. 'We're not like you. We're better.'

 'You said you had secured peace.' Indra hissed to Hestia.

'For my people. We cannot harm one another. You are not one of us, you do not share in our protection. We are enlightened.' Hestia replied.

'Let's finish this!' Someone cried and there was a simultaneous roar from the far side of the hall.

Two men charged forwards from the throng of the crowd but Manto and Hestia closed their eyes in unison and a great wave of calm overtook their features. The men haltered among the crowd that was looking torn between mutiny and acceptance. Hestia and Manto both opened their eyes slowly.

'The Commanders may pass to the other elevator.' Hestia declared. 'The rest must surrender.'

'No chance in hell.' Raven muttered.

Clarke felt Raven move behind her and she was sure she heard the zip of her pack. She shuffled slightly to obscure Raven as much as she could from view.

Lexa slowly raised the tip of her blade to her throat.

'Lexa-' Clarke warned but Lexa ignored her.

'You need the Commander of the Blood. If you attempt to harm my people, I shall take what you need from your grasp.'

Hestia smiled at Lexa and Clarke's stomach dropped.

'Commander, if you choose that now is not the time then we will wait for the next pairing. It is the Flame that makes you the Commander. If it is not your time then we will wait. We've been very good at that.'

'You lack a Nightblood.'

'There will always be at least two Nightbloods each generation.' Hestia spoke. 'We can wait.'

Clarke felt a gentle tap on her back. She turned her eyes away from Lexa and the blade against her throat and flicked her gaze back to Hestia, smirking.

'We really can't.' Clarke chimed.

Clarke grabbed Lexa and Octavia and threw them to the side while the others dodged out of the way as Raven launched one of her grenades into the hall. There was a loud explosion and dust and marble crumbled from the roof and showered them all. They struggled to stand and they quickly grasped their weapons and jumped to meet the fighters that had surged forwards.

'Do not fire! Do not fire on this level!' Hestia screamed, from where she lay on the floor as she tried to crawl away.

All of them had their knives and blades ready to attack anyone who came to them. Lexa immediately cut down six people near her. Raven had even pulled out a shock stick she had stolen from the drop ship.

The numbers soon overwhelmed them and they were split apart from each other. Clarke could barely make out Lexa but every so often she noticed blades swinging with grace and she knew Lexa was at ease in this situation. Clarke, however, felt overwhelmed. She punched and stabbed but more than once the nearest person to her cried out and fell to the floor howling before she had even struck them. Clarke had no idea what was going on or where to turn.

Octavia was just ahead of her fighting with more skill than Clarke had seen her before. She looked supremely confident but the Bunker People were armed with batons, swords and tasers. Octavia dodged the woman holding the taser to her several times. She was caught unaware as a Bunker Person grabbed her from behind and she spun her blade in her hand plunging it into his side. He collapsed from her but it was enough for the woman to point her taser at Octavia. Echo jumped out, with a murderous roar and sliced off the woman's arm and the taser fell with a clatter to the floor. Echo smirked before kicking her back to the floor and plunging her blade through her chest and before Octavia could even shout about her taking the kill Echo jumped into the middle of the crowd once more.

Clarke began fighting a woman armed with a baton and she dodged as much as she could. The baton swung for her face and Clarke was too slow, having to shield herself with her arm. She screamed in agony and fell back as the woman advanced but Octavia tackled her around the waist.

They struggled together furiously and the woman pinned Octavia down with her legs and began to punch her. Clarke lunged forwards but another Bunker Person threw her into the wall and Clarke released a groan as her injured arm met the hard wall.

'Nobody hits Octavia but me!' Raven screamed furiously.

Clarke tried to turn at Raven's shouts but she was pushed again against the wall.

'This is not your fight.' He hissed in her ear and Clarke felt a rush of nausea at the smell of his breath against her cheek.

'Yu gonplei ste odon.' Clarke whispered as she felt the man released her and spun to see him lying dead upon the floor with Lexa standing over him.

Lexa stepped over him quickly and stroked her cheek. Her green eyes searched Clarke for any sign of harm and Clarke smiled slightly even in the midst of war.

'I'm okay.' Clarke said and Lexa spun at those words with her blades ready for anyone else who would dare approach them.

Raven had knocked the woman that had bested both her and Octavia out with a shock stick. Kane launched a punch square in a man's jaw and he fell back clutching his face.

'Pathetic.' Indra spat as she took down another easily with her blade.

Indra was fighting more sluggishly than Clarke had known her to and she wondered what injuries she was carrying, but Indra's knowledge and skill still could not be outmatched by people who had lived their lives in shelter and safety.

'Here's me thinking Kane was a peace maker.' Clarke smirked, rejoining the fight although she hung her left arm slightly behind her.

'Since when did you joke in battle?' Octavia called over the chaos.

'When I worked at the clinic, Jasper told me the importance of comedy in serious moments.' Clarke replied lightly.

'That's my job!' Murphy shouted as he tripped a fighter that was trying to run at him and he went flying into the wall.

'You're job is to help us figure out a way to fucking survive.' Clarke retorted.

There was a scream that ripped through the hall and Clarke spun her eyes wide. Zoran was twitching on the ground, his body giving great shudders as it was gripped by pain and one of the Bunker People stood over him, firing his taser with a sneer.

'Don't you fucking dare!' Raven roared.

Raven threw her shock stick but he dodged it. Zoran was released from the pain of the taser and his face was streaked with tears. The Bunker Person fired the taser again and Raven slumped down to the floor. Zoran crashed into his back and Clarke rushed to Raven, pulling her up. Zoran struggled, pressed against the floor and gripping the man to him from behind. He grabbed his blade as the man tried to stand but Murphy ran over and pinned him down as Zoran pulled the man's head so it was almost against his cheek and glanced down at his throat, the blade slipping in quickly.

Clarke felt herself being tackled and she twisted as she flew through the air to see Raven but she could barely glimpse the red jacket. She wrestled with the woman who had attacked her as she saw a swarm around Raven.

'Come on!' Raven challenged wildly. 'I have lost my boyfriend, my best friend and I had to murder my own friend. Just try it!'

There was another blast and bodies were thrown across the hall. Raven spluttered as she dragged herself up.

'What did you do? What do you do?' Octavia screamed.

'Grenade.' Raven coughed.

'You could have killed yourself!' Octavia shrieked, losing all composure. 'We're supposed to kill them, not us!'

'That was amazing.' Echo commented in utter awe and Octavia shot her a look of disgust.

Murphy instantly stood up having been thrown down in the blast and pulled Zoran with him, who was still shaking. The crowd around them had thinned considerably, many lying dead or injured and others look completely unscathed and yet sobbing on the floor, clutching wounds that only they seemed able to see.

'Forward!' Lexa roared and they charged, Manto trailing behind and shouting out directions to the elevator. They sprinted through several corridors before finally seeing the gates and Clarke slammed her hand against the button as they waited.

'This is ridiculous.' Murphy muttered as screams followed them.

Indra, Echo, Octavia and Lexa stepped forward ready to defend them.

'I can't go with you.' Manto said, and they were fighting tears and clutching their side.

'Are you hurt?' Clarke asked quickly, pulling their hands away.

Clarke pulled their shirt up to the abdomen but there was no blood.

'Yes.' Manto whispered, tears falling but Clarke looked at them in utter confusion.

The elevator groaned behind them, signaling its arrival.

'Go.' Kane urged.

'Wait.' Clarke said desperately. 'What are you doing?'

'They need a sacrifice.' Kane said, but with a small smile. 'Their people were taken from them. One life can be enough to quench the thirst for blood.'

'No.' Clarke said, shaking her head and her voice was shaking. 'Don't do this.'

'If they follow you then you might not be able to do whatever you need to.' Kane said and Clarke had never seen him more confident or accepting. 'My fight is over to ensure your fight goes on. We were wrong to send you to the ground. The hundred must live.'

'If they follow us then we'll fight them again!' Clarke cried.

'There are more on the other levels. The ones that carry weapons will be here soon. They won't fire on this level but their numbers will be too much.'

'Kane,' Lexa started,  'you do not have to do this. I do not ask this from you.'

'I ask it from myself.' Kane smiled.

The shouting rang louder down the corridor and Clarke was sure they were regrouping. It was taking too long to follow.

'I give myself in service of the Coalition.' Kane said. 'I give myself up to the Commanders.'

Clarke couldn't hold back her tears and she surged forwards and enveloped Kane in a hug. Her mother had loved him and he had been the last connection with her. Kane had always followed her, and always defended her.

'May we meet again.' Clarke cried.

Kane pulled apart smiling, a single tear rolling down his face and he looked to them all with his eyes brimming with affection.

'In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage until our final journey to the ground.'

'May we meet again.' Indra said holding out her forearm and Indra grasped it.

Lexa threw open the gates as sob broke free from Clarke and she felt herself being pulled into the elevator as Kane stepped forward to the Bunker People tearing down the corridor. He held up his hands as the gates closed and the elevator began to rumble.

'My blood is yours.' Kane declared as the elevator descended to level eight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for the slower update but work... In other news though, I'm going to have huge muscles because of all the stuff I had to carry today which would be nice as my arms are kind of tiny and pathetic (I fell over trying to pick up a picture frame, in my defence though it was a metre wide). 
> 
> I've been getting a lot of questions about Manto from all the sites this is posted on and from friends who read this. I've tried to address them all so the next bit I'm going to post across each site the fic is on. Everything is also said out of love. I'm very aware that for a lot of people this might be new whereas I write on gender and sexuality all the time so I come from a different perspective.   
> I appreciate all reviews so every comment here is out of love and respect esp for sticking with this story for so long. I'm going to address some points raised but I really hope not to have to discuss it again, mostly because I don't see it as a big deal and I'm so close to the end I just want to focus on enjoying writing. If it is something you are still curious about though then I will obviously address it. I'm not going to ignore anyone but hopefully this will clear things up :) 
> 
> Manto- I know that for a lot of readers seeing someone use different pronouns may be new but I've been incredibly careful with my language. I've generally always put "they" next to a singular action such as hitting the floor or focused upon Manto's interactions between Lexa and Clarke. The interaction with the Bunker People has been minimal. This has been deliberate to ease people into a change of language they might not be used to. I do feel that any confusion stems from a lifetime of being told that only he/she work as pronouns. If it takes multiple readings, I'm really not concerned. Yes, it'll switch some people off and I wish you all well if you stop reading but I'm not going to abandon a part of LGBT representation because it might be difficult for some at first. This was a show originally celebrated for how normal it treated LGBT people and in honour of that, it's only right to have at least some trans representation and non binary trans people are constantly erased. A few decades ago, Lexa saying "I lost someone special to me once...her name was Costia" would have been unthinkable. It didn't seem possible to many in the 70s that a woman could love a woman. It's important to tell these stories and get people used to them so maybe one day someone revealing they are trans in a show or novel will be as innocuous as a woman going "oh yeah, I like women".   
> There is just one thing that I do ask (and this is out of the utmost respect) is that please don't reference degrees or whatever. I just worry that many without access to education will feel that they can't comment or write and story telling is for everyone. I've also got an English degree, I'm doing a MA in journalism next month, I'm a freelance writer getting regular gigs and a published poet and you know what? It means nothing. Except the money because bills. One of the first things I ever discovered when studying is that language is always, always changing. There are no fixed rules within the English language. It is constantly evolving. My work isn't better than anyone else's and anyone is capable of telling a story. I think sometimes my academic background has limited how I see new texts. I've been taught a very narrow framework but with stories it's always best to be flexible. Also, if you think you need to tell me that because you don't think I'll listen then I really do apologise for ever giving that impression. I consider every review carefully whether that's by someone who has studied English all their life to someone who has just found this site and has barely read any stories before.   
> Hopefully you'll all get used to the language if it is unusual for you. I'm sure for many LGBT readers you're probably wondering what the fuss is about so sorry for the ramble :p if you can't get used to it, I understand but I've always tried to tell the best story I could regardless of expectation. That's why I had Clarke kill Bellamy, Murphy wear his grief gently rather than rage, Harper manage her disability proudly and that's why I had to have trans representation. I would have let myself down had I only written cisgender gay and bi people. Yeah, I could have written a binary character to make the language easier but I don't believe easier is right.   
> Thank you always for your reviews and comments. I love *all* feedback and hopefully this has offered some clarity. The end is almost in sight, folks!


	148. Death is Not the End

Two Bunker People ran forwards and kicked the back of Kane's legs so he fell to his knees. He groaned slightly as his knee caps made contact with the hard floor and he felt his hands being roughly bound. His skin burned against the plastic straps and he could not move his hands even a millimeter. He was quickly forced up and the crowd before him parted once more and revealed Hestia.

Hestia tilted her head slightly as she regarded him closely.

'Take him to the top level.' She said and Kane did not miss the sigh behind her words.

Kane was pushed forwards but they did not go to the elevator; instead he was taken to a metal door and it was thrown open with a loud rattle and they stepped out into the tunnel that sloped upwards. Kane saw several different passages breaking off. The bunker was revealed as far more disjointed in design than they had all thought. There were passages and tunnels all along and even outside elevators however, he was steered away from them and up the the highest bank. The only relief was the absence of pipes and the air was still dusty but slightly cooler than the journey into the bunker had been.

Hestia walked several feet in front of them but she did not look back as the people swarmed behind. Kane heard hisses and jeers with every step but he smiled lightly.

The Bunker People flicked their torches ahead and Kane rolled his eyes as he saw the tunnel incline more steeply still. He was sure one of the passageways and outside elevators would have made their journey far easier but it seems that the Bunker People would have to work and wait for the death they wanted. After several minutes, he felt his legs burn but he made no comment as sweat began to coat his face and his shirt stuck to his back. It would be over soon, he reminded himself. He at least would soon be done with walking.

While it took great effort to lift each boot in front of the other, the rest of his body felt as weightless as if he had gone for his own space walk. He had no regrets but he wished that he had seen the ground one last time. He had spent his life in space, staring down at the earth and now he was to die in a bunker, looking up to where the ground was. He always thought it would be the ground to claim him but then again, he was one of the few of Skaikru who had learned quickly what it took to survive on the ground so perhaps this was fitting. He'd achieved all that his mother had wanted: he had helped bring the Arkers to the ground and he had helped them to survive. Clarke didn't need him. She'd never needed any of the old remnants of the council; she'd always had what was necessary to lead even when Bellamy died. Their people would be safe with her; they always had been.

They struggled on for over an hour. One of the Bunker People dragging Kane pulled out a metal hip flask and offered it to him but Kane shook his head.

'Do not offer him water.' Hestia demanded, without looking back.

The guard gave Kane an apologetic look but Kane merely nodded in response. He didn't want anything from them anyway. He wanted to feel his body and feel the pain of it one last time.

The soles of his feet began to ache and there was a slight scrape as his feet trailed slightly. He could feel the tear of the point of his right shoe. He was surprised it had lasted so long on the ground. It had perfect timing to come apart at the seams now. If only Wick had made it, he could have at least given them to him.

His mind went to those who had already been lost and what they died for. Wick had always tried to help and had faithfully followed them with little complaint. He'd kept them going with a warm smile and lighthearted joke. Kane wished he could hear that now, or one of Monty and Jasper's jokes but in this tunnel, as his people lay hundreds of miles away and his friends sank to level eight and to an unknown future, Kane didn't feel alone. It didn't seem possible that he could ever have felt alone since his time on the ground, no matter how much he believed himself to be after losing Abby.

After almost another hour the floor began to level out and Kane was halted in front of a side door. He blinked and flinched as the door was thrown open and the tunnel was bathed in light. He was pushed through it and out onto another hallway.

It was a more grand space than Kane had yet seen. There was a desk at the far corner where a receptionist was working but she didn't even look up. There were three fountains across the hall. The two smaller ones were on the outside but the middle one was enormous. It held intricate carvings of the symbols of the clans, as well as patterns of what looked as though they were supposed to be the moon, the sun and the stars. The top of the fountain also held a marble circle but this did not hold any carvings, unlike every inch of the rest of the fountain.

Kane was dragged before it and he sighed slightly as the cool and moist air from the fountain gave his face some relief. He longed to sit down and close his eyes.

The people waited behind him as Hestia stepped once more before him, with her back to the fountain.

'We will not attack level eight. You would have been safe.' Hestia said slowly and Kane didn't miss her curiosity and he smiled.

'I wasn't going to risk my people.' Kane replied. 'If my sacrifice secures their safe passage back to the ground then that is a price worth paying.'

'You die for nothing.' Hestia whispered.

'I don't believe in that.' Kane replied, his voice strong.

'You believe this is your sacrifice?'

'No, let me be clear,' Kane said, with a small chuckle, 'I do not believe in death.'

Hestia's lip curled slightly and she shook her head in disbelief.

'We will show it to you.'

'No, I don't think you will.' Kane smiled and he looked around.

His eyes latched onto Manto who was shaking where they stood. Their eyes were blood shot and they were struggling to hold back tears. Kane wondered if they were their own or not. He didn't know which answer was better. This was a world he hadn't considered before but he quickly realised that despite their claims of being better, they were simply different. He hoped Clarke wouldn't be tempted and that she and Lexa would make the right choice. He was certain they hadn't yet realised what that meant but he had to trust them. They'd gotten them this far. They'd saved them all and more than once.

'What will happen to Manto?' Kane asked, looking back to Hestia. 'They did what they thought was right.'

'We do not hurt our own.' Hestia replied and Kane nodded.

He looked ahead to the fountain and wished for strength.

'Do you have any last words?'

Kane smiled for one final time and shut his eyes. Abby met him, whispering reassurances. He thought of his mother and the tree he planted and he hoped that would outlive all of them. His heart ached at the thought of section seventeen and the people who gave their lives. They were far more noble than he was. He had pressed charges against his friend, Jake and then against his daughter. He hadn't been a good enough leader for Skaikru then but he needed the strength to be now.

_I commit my soul to the living through death. Do not weep for the dead, for the only thing they leave is love. Where pain lies, hope can be found. The abyss shall never return our dead for we were never theirs. We were always yours._

Kane slowly opened his eyes and they lay fixed upon the fountain. He stepped forward and his guards caught his elbow with a start but they led him on. He slowly sank to his knees in front of the fountain and glanced up at the circle. He looked back down at his arm and wised it wasn't covered but he knew that the symbol of the Coalition was there still. If he was proud of anything, it had been that honour that Lexa had granted him.

_Trust in love, the both of you._

Kane took one last breath of air and marveled at the power he felt as a hand grabbed the back of his head and his face was plunged into the icy water.

He tried to scream but a bubble escaped as grief cut at every inch of his skin and hope fled from his heart. He struggled against the hands which held him firmly in place and he wanted air to scream at the loss he felt, the loss of the people and the guilt for his own. His mouth struggled against the water and he gulped at it, choking and he felt his chest begin to seize, desperate for air that it couldn't find.

Love, pain and loss crashed through him as he finally knew what it meant to become one of them. His hands tried to grab at the marble but they couldn't break the binds and his vision began to blur but it was Abby that was the last love he saw before he was lost to blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I'm sorry for the late update but I had to go shopping after work :P 
> 
> I'm sincerely sorry to all Kane fans. I absolutely love the guy so it broke my own heart to write this. I wanted to take Jaha's monologue from section 17 1/ because that was one of the moments that really defined Kane and 2/ I always imaged that speech to be part of Arker tradition and culture as much as "may we meet again" and I wanted to show how they had evolved through life on the ground. Hopefully you like this chapter. :)
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos. May we meet again, Kane!


	149. Offering of Blood

The elevator rattled as it descended and nobody tried to speak. Clarke shuffled on her feet anxiously, wishing she could pull the elevator up with her own bare hands and bring Kane back. Kane had sent the hundred down to the ground to die and now he'd given his life so that they may live. Kane was the last of that old council to die, and she couldn't help feel that despite how hated he had been on the Ark, on the ground he had been the best of them.

The slow descent to level eight was longer than any other trip between the floors. Clarke looked ahead at where the gate was and saw that on the wall were markings of the symbol of Heda that Lexa had tattooed upon the back of her neck.

She shut her eyes briefly, willing tears away. She wished none of this had happened. She wished Lexa had simply been chosen as commander because of what her people thought was best and not because of her blood. She wished neither Flame had been given to them. It was their chance at immortality but Clarke was terrified it would destroy them. She wasn't even sure the Flames would survive whatever lay ahead. They'd lost so much on this journey already. What if the reason they'd hadn't been killed yet was because they were marked to die now? What if it was for their deaths that they were chosen?

'Kane was one of the bravest of Skaikru.' Indra said finally from behind Clarke. 'His sacrifice will not be in vain.'

Clarke barely managed a nod and silence entered the elevator once more. It was another minute before they finally began to slow and the elevator screeched to a halt. Clarke moved, expecting the gates to open but the elevator slowly spun ninety degrees and they were transported forwards. After five minutes the elevator did come to a stop and the gates finally opened.

They stepped out into a much smaller marble room. After the size of the great hall ways and corridors, Clarke felt incredibly compressed. When they all poured out of the elevator they filled almost a third of the room which was shaped in a hexagon. Across each wall were control panels and in the very centre of the room was a metal cylinder, twice the width of Clarke's body that ran to the ceiling.

'What's that?' Zoran asked and Clarke turned to see him pointing at an archway on the other side of the cylinder.

The very peak of it was pointed but it was made in marble and had the same carvings of the commander's symbol. There were flickers of a blue and green wave within it and Clarke stepped forward but she found herself lurching back.

'Don't touch it!' Raven warned, releasing Clarke from her.  'I'm pretty sure its magnetic. It could destroy the Flames if you and Lexa step inside. You'd die.'

Murphy walked slowly round the cylinder and stood in front of the archway.

'What are you doing?' Lexa asked, with a note of exasperation and Murphy shrugged.

'Just making sure you don't trip or anything.'

Echo snorted and Murphy shot her a dark look.

'I've not seen you do anything useful.'

'Except for taking down a load of the Bunker People...yeah, she should have stayed in the mountains.' Raven replied, with light sarcasm as she made her way to the panels.

Octavia and Indra turned back to the elevator gate with their blades drawn.

'If they weren't going to shoot at level nine I doubt they'd come here.' Clarke called across.

'Just making sure.' Octavia said, with a wry smile.

Clarke paced slightly behind Raven as her hand hovered over the panels. Raven walked from one to the other, a look of trepidation etched upon her face. She made no effort to pull out her pad as Clarke had expected. In fact, she seemed overwhelmed and lost deep in thought. Clarke was not encouraged by any of this. She exchanged a look with Lexa who was waiting far more patiently but she also saw the concern that lingered behind the green eyes.

They were effectively trapped. They had no way of escape except for the way that they came. The Bunker People would surely be waiting for them. They had seemed ill prepared for a fight but vengeance was a more powerful force than most people ever anticipated. Clarke knew not to underestimate them. She and Lexa may now also lack protection as the carriers of the Flame. They had reached their destination and that meant they had potentially served their use. If they emerged, they may find their names being called for execution too.

Raven finally flicked a switch and the marble walls above the panels hosted images from around the bunker, as clear as if they were on any actual screen. Clarke glanced around but she couldn't see any source of light.

'That's surveillance taken care of.' Raven muttered.

'They're at the exits.' Indra breathed, staring at the images of the bunker. 'We knew they would be.'

'Leaving yet is not our concern.' Lexa reminded them.

'No,' Raven sighed, 'getting you both connected in is.'

'Connected?' Clarke asked.

'Becca created this.' Raven explained. 'Her design is all over it. I know it. I studied her work. This will trigger the Flames.'

'How?'

Raven glanced down at a small blue square that was on the panel.

'Your blood.' Raven said. 'Your blood carries the mark of the Flame as much as the Flame hosts your blood. A drop of each on this panel should send the signal and cause the trigger.'

'What happens then?' Murphy asked, leaning forward slightly.

'I don't know.' Raven said, with a frown.

'This is stupid.' Octavia said, shaking her head. 'We should just leave.'

Clarke turned to Lexa who was already searching her expression and she smiled.

'It's what we came for, right?'

Lexa bowed her head slightly.

'Together?'

'Together.' Clarke agreed.

'You guys could die!' Octavia interjected hotly. 'There's already an archway that could short circuit your brain!'

'We have to do this.' Lexa responded. 'It's for our people.'

'The Flames are ours.' Clarke said. 'We chose this and they chose us.'

'You don't even know what this is for!'

'What's any of it been for?' Clarke countered.

'It's their choice.' Raven said earnestly.

'You only want a chance to play with Becca's toys!' Octavia accused and Raven turned to her furiously.

'Then why did you come?' She demanded. 'To play warrior?'

'I was looking out for my friends!' Octavia shouted.

'So am I!'

'They are our leaders.' Indra hissed, stepping between the two. 'It's their choice.'

Octavia and Raven glared at each other, clearly desperate to make a retort but neither dared push Indra further. Clarke watched as Lexa turned to Murphy.

'Flame keeper?' Lexa prompted, seeking his counsel.

'If it was up to me we'd have stayed at the drop ship and just focused on surviving.' Murphy sighed, running a hand through his hair before he dropped his hand. 'But what do I know? You got us this far, I think you can do just about anything and I'll keep an eye on things here.'

Lexa smiled at him before turning away slightly and Murphy ran his hand through his hair awkwardly again. He rolled his eyes when he caught Clarke smirking at him but Clarke mouthed a silent 'thank you' to him and he nodded his head before both she and Lexa stepped towards the blue square.

Clarke pulled out her dagger Lexa held her index finger out. Clarke hesitated a moment, hating even this small act before she scratched the tip of Lexa's finger. She did the same to her own and offered Lexa a look of encouragement. Lexa swiftly pressed a delicate kiss to her lips.

'Together.' Lexa whispered again and Clarke nodded and they both pressed their fingers to the blue square.

The square shone more brightly at immediate contact and Clarke clutched the edge of the panel as the room began to spin and white began to engulf them all. She felt Lexa slide down to the floor too beside her and she rolled so that she was tucked into Lexa's side as they entered the Flame again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) thank you for reading, leaving kudos and comments! You are all stars :)


	150. Expectations

'Manto, go to the ward.' Hestia called across as Kane's body was carried from the fountain.

'I don't want to go where the injured are.' Manto said.

Hestia sighed for a moment before turning back to them.

'Okay, go wait in my office and I'll be there shortly.'

Hestia waited until Manto crossed the hall and was in one of the elevators. Roger, one of the guards who had escorted Kane walked towards her.

'There are still the three left behind.' He whispered.

'Take them.'

* * *

 

Miller sat shivering by the fire. Harper and Bryan were holding each other closely and Miller couldn't help the jealousy, but only at the warmth of being so close to a person. He hated being on watch but at least he was the last one to take a shift which meant it would be dawn in an hour or so. He wished they had waited until the summer to travel.

There had been no activity outside the mansion. They couldn't see the bunker from here and Miller was immensely grateful for that. The place terrified him. He didn't want to get trapped in like Murphy, although at least he had someone who would realise he was missing.

He shook his head slightly but his eyes grew steadily heavier and he groaned. He only needed to stay awake another couple of hours. He sighed and stood up stretching his legs. He needed to at least move so he wouldn't fall asleep. He shook each leg for a minute trying to stimulate any of his senses and summon at least an ounce of energy.

His leg hovered in the air as there was a rush of noise and he grunted as he was thrown down by his neck. He was pushed into the dirt, his cheek stinging with the feel of the dry dirt being crushed against his face and he kicked up roughly. His vision went dark and he tried to hit out but there was no contact and he beat his legs desperately into the ground. There was a dull crunch and the air flooded back into his lungs as he felt the attacker fall off him. He rolled over quickly, ready to defend himself but he was met with Harper standing over him and looking murderous.

There was a dull pulse and another man collapsed to the ground, next to another fallen companion as Bryan slipped his shock stick back into his jacket.

'So much for being on watch.' Harper said, pulling Miller up.

'I'm sorry.' Miller panted harshly.

'Hey, it's okay.' Harper said.

'Why now?' Bryan asked. 'We've been out here ages.'

'Maybe Clarke finally pissed them off.' Miller said, rubbing his throat which felt raw as he looked at the three unconscious guards. 'They're out cold.'

'Oh no,' Harper chimed, 'my guy's dead. This hand packs a punch.'

Miller looked at her outstretched metal hand in shock before he broke into a grin.

'Thank you, Raven.' Miller joked.

'And Wick.' Harper responded wistfully.

'So what do we do with these two then?' Bryan asked, swallowing and drawing their attention back.

'They came after us...' Harper said, shrugging.

'If we let them go they could just come back with more friends or they are two extra to go after our friends still down there.' Miller said.

'If they're even still alive.' Bryan replied.

'So then they deserve to die anyway.' Harper reasoned.

'What happened to you?' Bryan asked in surprise.

'Well, I never really got over being kidnapped by a load of strangers who strapped me down and took my bone marrow and then I was forced to cut off my own hand so I wouldn't die in a war.' Harper deadpanned.

Miller, however, smirked at the unconscious figures.

'You reckon we can close that hole up in the bunker?' He asked.

'Yeah.'

'And we got rope to tie them up?' Miller asked again and Bryan nodded curiously. 'Then I've got an idea.'

* * *

 

Hestia entered her office with a tired sigh and she saw Manto sitting on the floor with their back against the opposite wall. She slipped off her heels and walked over, sliding down to the wall to sit next to them.

'Tired?' She asked gently and Manto nodded. 'Me too.'

Manto's hair was sticking up at odd angles and they looked utterly exhausted by the events. She couldn't blame them. There had never been murder in their halls before.

'I thought I was helping.' Manto confessed.

'You were.' Hestia replied.

'They killed us.' Manto said, their voice breaking.

They knotted their trembling hands together and Hestia could see their body wracked with pain and guilt.

'They did but you didn't.' Hestia consoled. 'They were scared. They wanted to get us before we could get them.'

'We weren't going to hurt them!'

Hestia managed a sad smile, remembering the teachings of her mentor before she became leader. She had been warned of life on the outside and why their way was so much better. She never imagined she'd have to live with the consequences. She was told it would be years until the Flame carriers came here. It was supposed to be long after her time.

'Sometimes people expect to be hurt. They never expect love or kindness and so they protect themselves as best they can so that they can't be hurt. They've come to expect pain so they wound first.' Hestia told Manto softly.

'It's not fair on the ones who suffer.'

'Once maybe they were the ones who were suffering.' Hestia offered.

'Why are you defending them?' Manto asked, in utter disbelief.

'I'm defending us. We know our strengths. We cherish our love.' Hestia mused. 'I was taught every day that our way was better, that the world outside was a brutal place where life was quickly snuffed out without a second thought. I love our home. When I think of what life on the ground is it breaks my heart.'

Manto was silent for a long moment but they stretched out their legs slightly and relaxed against the wall. Hestia allowed a small smile at the action.

'I don't want them to become part of us.' Manto said finally. 'I don't want the Hedas to lead us.'

Hestia stretched out her legs too. They were a lot shorter than Manto's when they were sat like this. The marble was nice and cool against her skin. Perhaps she'd give up her desk.

'When they become one of us the past won't haunt us or them anymore. They will have integrated with us.' Hestia replied. 'And we will return to knowing nothing of vengeance or murder.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all kudos and comments :) So close to the end so hopefully you haven't dropped dead of exhaustion from sticking with this thing :P
> 
> Clexa might be a bit light (well a lot) for a few chapters but that's because there's just a lot to get through. Given my daily updates though in real time, it's not that long to wait. :)


	151. Access of Power

Murphy grabbed both Clarke and Lexa as they entered the City of Light and left the conscious world and he gently guided them to the floor. He sat, cross-legged behind them and watched them closely as they breathed in and out. Their breathing matched and it was in a slow rhythm, as constant as a steady tide and Murphy was sure that they were not in danger, at least not yet wherever they were.

Raven was lost to the control panels and Octavia and Indra kept guard at the gate. Echo leaned lazily against the cylinder while Zoran sat next to Murphy and gave Clarke's shoulder a reassuring pat.

'They'll figure it out.' Murphy told him but Zoran glanced at Raven.

'I wish Wick was here.'

'Raven will figure it out too.' Murphy said, following his gaze.

Murphy looked back down at Clarke and Lexa. He never really wondered about the Flames before. It seemed ridiculous given his title but he just kept his mind upon what it meant to live through the day and the Flame usually didn't concern that. He'd had no desire to even go into the City of Light during the black rain, afraid of what he'd find. This life was tough enough without going into another one.

He was starting to wish he had paid more attention. Lexa though, had never seemed to need his input much on matters concerning the Flame. It was no surprise given that she lived with it and all of his knowledge had been based around ALIE and Jaha which were two threats that no longer existed. Whenever Lexa did seek his counsel it was simply of matters of how to survive and usually how to keep Clarke alive.

'Is there another exit?' Octavia asked Raven while she worked.

'Yeah, I'd be worried about the Bunker People too.' Raven muttered. 'Surveillance here is pretty thorough. Once you guys killed that couple and they found the bodies they realised we were here and it took some time but they managed to override my hack. Great plan to just start killing.'

'I would have done the same thing.' Murphy drawled and Raven looked at him in fury. 'So would you. We survive, that's what we do.'

Raven shook her head and turned back to the control panel.

'I did it.' Zoran said quietly and Raven spun around again, with anguish in her eyes.

'You did what you had to.' Raven offered gently. 'Maybe we all did.'

'Or maybe I just got Kane killed for nothing.' Octavia spat, her face contorted with guilt.

'We can't do this.' Indra warned. 'We need to protect Lexa and Clarke. We can sort out our guilt after this fight.'

'If there is an after.' Murphy muttered.

* * *

 

Miller, Bryan and Harper each collapsed on the ground panting. It would still be another hour before dawn broke fully across the land. Moving the bodies had taken all of their remaining energy. They'd had to lightly bury them. With the technology around the area, they couldn't guarantee a drone wouldn't find them but Harper supposed it wouldn't much matter; once the team didn't return it would be obvious what had happened.

'Do you actually believe in them?' Harper asked, still trying to catch her breath. 'Ghosts.'

She saw Miller turn his head briefly to where she lay before he looked back up at the sky.

'Maybe. It would be nice to see Monty again, even if it was to haunt us.' Miller smiled.

'Yeah,' Harper sighed, her voice weak, 'it would.'

* * *

 

Octavia sighed, impatient and irritated before she walked over to where Echo was standing and slid down to the floor. Echo gave her an amused look before lowering herself to the floor too.

'Whatever they're doing will take time.'

'I know that.' Octavia replied.

Octavia felt useless. They couldn't even stand guard but were waiting for Clarke and Lexa to do whatever needed to be done again and then they'd have to return by the elavtor and face the Bunker People. If she and Echo had just waited before killing then they wouldn't be in this mess; they wouldn't have lost Kane.

'It's not your fault.' Echo said quietly and Octavia checked to where Raven was but she was still focused upon the panels.

'Yeah, it is.' Octavia whispered, frowning and looking down at her boots.

Every time she had tried to make a decision she had tried to do what she thought was best and now she was being faced with the reality that every one of her judgement calls had been wrong.

'You weren't acting alone.' Echo consoled her.

'I was trying to lead...it didn't work out well last time either.'

Echo snorted.

'A Sky Girl could never lead an Azgeda warrior.' Echo joked, giving Octavia a slight nudge and Octavia couldn't help but smile but it was only brief and her face soon fell again.

'Hey,' Echo said softly and Octavia felt fingers trail lightly under her jaw and she turned her face to meet Echo's gaze, 'we did this together.'

Octavia didn't move a muscle but her eyes darted away, not daring to look anymore at Echo's sincerity.

'Are you okay?' Echo asked tenderly, her fingers still stroking along Octavia's jaw.

'No.' Octavia admitted.

She stared at the floor but she started slightly at the feel of a warm breath on her face and lips briefly pressed against her own before Echo pulled back and Octavia's eyes flicked back to her.

All hint of Echo's smugness was gone, replaced with a tender curiosity as she examined Octavia and Octavia found a small smile tugging at her lips. She began to edge closer to Echo but there was a loud slam behind them and Octavia jumped up and span round to see Raven stepping back from the panel.

'What is it?' Indra demanded quickly.

'I'm in.' Raven breathed.

'In what? The City of Light?' Murphy asked but Raven shook her head slowly.

'They were lying.' Raven breathed, in both jubilation and incredulity. 'I've got their nuclear weapons.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :) Considering there's very little Clexa I thought I'd stick two chapters up today. Hope you enjoy. Thanks for comments + kudos!


	152. Sonraun

Lexa opened her eyes slowly and was greeted immediately with Clarke. They were lying comfortably on top of a bed. They were dressed in the clothes of Polis. Her armor was gone and Clarke had been stripped of her hood and dagger. Lexa couldn't see a mirror but she knew that her face held no war paint.  There was a dull pulse that Lexa associated with Arkadia when it was running to full power. There walls were made of the same metal but there were shelves scattered about the room which held books and pictures.

'The Ark.' Clarke said softly, watching Lexa look around the room and Lexa lay back down.

'Surprised?'

'No.' Clarke replied, shaking her head slightly.

'Are you glad of it?' Lexa asked, knowing how full of memories this place would be and she was assuming from the pictures that held Clarke, her mother and father that this was the quarters she had grown up in or at least similar to.

'This isn't home.' Clarke said, sighing.

Clarke slowly rose from the bed and made her way over to the shelves picking up the pad that held the family picture. Lexa sat up and watched Clarke as she held the pad, looking regretfully down at the memory she held.

'Guess this isn't the family picture it should have been.' Clarke said.

Lexa swung her legs over the bed and made her way over to Clarke, running a hand down her back lightly as Clarke put down the picture.

'What would you draw as your family now?' Lexa asked.

'You.' Clarke responded before slowly adding, 'all of us.'

Lexa gave a soft, proud smile as Clarke turned slowly to greet her gaze.

'We have to go.' Clarke said sadly, and clearly with resentment.

'We do.'

'We have no idea what's out there.' Clarke stated.

'No, but I think if we were going to a fight the Flames would have at least provided weapons.' Lexa smiled.

'Maybe the Flames don't like us anymore.' Clarke joked back but her voice turned serious. 'This could be the end.'

'Or the start.' Lexa responded easily. 'We can't speculate when there are so few clues. All we have is a door to open.'

'Here we are again then.' Clarke muttered.

They both turned to the door behind them. Clarke pressed a swift kiss to Lexa's cheek before they stepped forward and Lexa pulled down on the handle and pulled the door open with a loud creak.

They were in a circular marble corridor, eerily similar in style to that of the Bunker. Clarke pulled a face of annoyance that they had two paths to choose from but Lexa sensed that it really would not matter and so she guided them to take the right. Within less than a minute they were at the entrance of an open door and the stepped into a luxurious and spacious open room, that had a dominating skyline with windows against the entire front. Lexa was sure they were some way up as the light blue sky dominated their view.

Becca smiled warmly at both Clarke and Lexa as they entered the room.

'Commanders.'

Wick stood opposite her and was smiling proudly at them both.

'You made it!'

Clarke spluttered in shock but Wick rushed forwards and wrapped her in a tight hug, lifting her off her feet. Lexa couldn't even respond before Wick did the same to her and she soon found herself scowling. He broke away with a cheeky smile before stepping back to Becca.

'What is this?' Lexa asked.

'Your choice.' Wick replied loftily.

'Our choice to do what?'

'A choice at the possibility of something better.' Becca replied earnestly but Wick rolled his eyes.

'It's just a choice.' Wick muttered. 'One we disagree on.'

'He lacks insight.' Becca retorted to a baffled Lexa and Clarke.

'How long did you think it would take for someone to design another Flame?' Wick challenged smugly.

'My estimates were one thousand to four thousand years.' Becca responded coldly.

'It was a blow to the ego.' Wick said, whispering theatrically to Clarke.

'It was.' Becca muttered, in disdain. 'And now I am paired with you.'

'If either one of you could explain then that would be helpful.' Clarke replied impatiently.

Lexa noticed Wick biting back a laugh as Becca looked slightly affronted by Clarke's direct nature but Becca's expression quickly changed to one of utter focus.

'I designed the Flame and for almost a century it has worked well, offering guidance and protection to those who took it with black blood.' Becca said and she indicated her head slightly towards Lexa. 'But it was not its only purpose. The Flame has many uses, and far from all have been unlocked. I knew I was not the only one who would find a way to create such technology. Life on the ground demands death but for life to flourish it needs a better way.'

'So we need a way to stop killing each other if we're actually going to survive.' Wick said and Becca glared at him for interrupting.

'I designed the Flame so that if similar technology was created it would unlock itself and pair up. Kyle  designed the secondary Flame and designed it directly in relation to the primary.' Becca went on. 'When the hosts were sufficiently in unison there was a trigger. One that would lead you here.'

'Why?' Clarke asked. 'Why have you put us through all of this? People have died. You died!'

Clarke was looking at Wick with tears in her eyes and he smiled apologetically.

'That was my own fault.' Wick replied. 'Besides, the spirits never leave us. You should know that by now.'

'Oh, so the dead are all waiting for me?' Clarke asked skeptically and Lexa had to stop herself from flinching at the venom behind Clarke's words.

'The spirits don't wait for you.' Becca denied. 'To wait means to expect something to come to pass and often to want it so. They do not wait for your death. They stay for you.'

Clarke looked away angrily and Lexa knew that she would be much mote comfortable purely sticking to the route of discussing the technology behind the Flame.

'What does this have to do with anything?' Clarke asked, exasperated.

'Hope.' Lexa answered and Becca nodded, beaming at her. 'You want us to stop just surviving?'

Lexa knew it as soon as she saw Becca. She remembered Titus and all he taught her. She remembered the lessons from the Flame about creating a legacy and a sustainable peace. It was why she had given everything to start the Coalition in the first place. Becca wanted more than just surviving, and so too did Clarke.

'So we just let people kill us?' Clarke questioned.

'There is a better way.' Becca replied. 'I knew that life would always try to hurt itself. Anger burns strongly. Blood must have blood because that is the easiest route. I had to make a way where it wasn't an option. Where peace was easiest.'

'How?' Lexa asked in amazement.

Peace had always been the one thing they had broken. The one thing they had failed to achieve. It was always temporary. They always gave into their desires for revenge. Lexa was confident that they could create a life after the civil war but it would not be one that would always have peace. They always found a way to break it.

'You tried to take guns but what was the point when people could make spears and swords?' Becca asked. 'The problem was the people who wield the weapons- never the weapons themselves. You blame the guns and not the choice to use them; that's why the death has not stopped. There are warheads here but they remain useless because nobody would ever choose to use them. We took away that choice by changing the people.'

'How?' Lexa asked again.

'Human synchronization.' Becca responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Thank you for your comments and kudos (and also patiently waiting to see Clexa again) :) We rarely get any trigedasleng titles and it felt fitting as this was about life on the ground. :)


	153. Destroyer of Worlds

'What does that mean? That you're in the system?' Murphy asked.

'It means I have control.' Raven said, focusing on the panel.

Raven seemed utterly transfixed and the lights from the code were reflecting onto Raven's face and she was scrolling rapidly through them.

'Can you disarm them?' Octavia said quickly.

Raven was focused solely on the panel and didn't turn to look at any of them.

'No.' Raven answered. 'There's no way to do that from here. The only thing I can do is launch them or set them to detonate here.'

'So then it's useless.' Echo muttered.

'Not if we take control of the Bunker.' Raven shrugged.

Octavia stood, staring incredulously at Raven's back.

'You want us to fight a war to get control of nuclear weapons?'

'Would you rather they had them?' Raven countered, still not looking at any of them.

Octavia's mouth hung open slightly in shock for a moment before she closed it.

'Why can't we just leave them?' Zoran asked but Raven ignored him and kept focusing on the control panel in front of her.

There was a hiss of metal and Octavia saw the flash of Echo's blade. Raven slowly turned around at the sound and eyed Echo angrily.

'What are you doing?' Murphy asked and Zoran jumped to his feet but Murphy pulled him back by his shoulders.

Octavia nodded to Murphy, signaling him to keep Zoran there and out of the way. Everybody else's eyes were fixed upon Raven and Echo. They were no more than a few feet apart but they may as well have been snarling in each other's faces. It was hard to distinguish who would rather attack the other first.

'There is no way that Skaikru are getting control of those missiles.' Echo spat. 'It was bad enough when you took the Mountain.'

'And who destroyed it?' Raven accused, glaring at the blade that Echo was grasping.

'Because you would have destroyed Azgeda.' Echo retorted. 'I won't let my clan be threatened.'

'That's enough.' Octavia spat, stepping between the two so that Echo's blade was pressed against her chest but Octavia did not flinch.

Echo's face showed no confict but her hand withdrew for the briefest of seconds before Octavia's felt the blade cut lightly into her skin again.

'We both know what will happen if Skaikru take this place.' Echo challenged.

'We're not.' Octavia stated firmly.

'We can't just let this place go to waste!' Raven shouted.

'You won't have a chance to use it.' Echo spat and Octavia grabbed the blade with her gloved hands and pushed Echo backwards.

'You're not killing Raven!'

'She is the one causing problems!' Echo responded furiously, clutching her blade, ready to attack.

'Raven,' Murphy interjected, 'we can't threaten the Coalition and Lexa would never want it. She tried to disarm Skaikru before. This will never happen.'

'Fine,' Raven spat, waving her arms at the panel, 'then they won't have it either. We can set it to self detonate after we've left.'

Echo finally put her blade away but Octavia turned on her heel to face Raven with a look of horror on her face.

'You can't be serious.'

'We can't let them keep it.' Raven said, in a voice suggesting that Octavia had lost her ability to comprehend basic logic.

Octavia stared at Raven for almost a minute before she spoke. They couldn't have come to this. They couldn't have sunk to this after everything. She shut her eyes as the fumes of smoke that had engulfed TonDC met her nostrils again as if she was there. She tuned out the screaming; she couldn't descend into a flash from that day. She'd seen them enough times at night to never want to again and she knew what it would mean for the bunker and the people here. She had to make Raven see reason.

'They'd all die.' She said, in a tight voice.

Raven half shrugged her shoulders and continued to look at Octavia as though she was a complete stranger.

'We can't just leave them here to be used against us. They have the targeting range to wipe out all of our area, including Trikru and Polis, Floukru and a good chunk of Azgeda.' Raven retorted. 'Wasn't it bad enough with the black rain?'

'We can't just wipe out a civilisation!' Octavia shouted.

'I'm sorry but do you think that after we've slaughtered them they're just going to let us go home and live in peace?' Raven replied sarcastically. 'Even if we make it out of here, the first thing they will do is fire those missiles and make sure we don't have a home to get back to.'

'We can't do it just because we're scared they might do it to us one day.' Octavia said, in despair. 'There's families here.'

'There were families in the Mountain too.' Raven dismissed.

'Yeah, but they were actually going to kill us all.' Octavia replied angrily. 'This isn't us.'

'This is exactly who we are!' Raven snapped.

'Then it shouldn't be!'

'You were the one who started this!'

'I was wrong!' Octavia roared. 'Is that okay? I was wrong. I panicked and I wanted to get the hell out of here but we can't just wipe them out. I know you're scared and I know you want to save us but you can't, not like this. Some things aren't worth living with.'

Murphy stepped over Clarke and Lexa and put a hand on Raven's arm gently. She shrugged him off, angry tears beginning to form in the corner of her eyes.

'We don't even know if we'd get out of here in time.' Murphy whispered.

'So we just give them control? We just wait and see whether they kill us all?' Raven asked hopelessly.

Octavia reached out to hold Raven's hand but Raven stepped back and shook her head, breathing heavily and wiping her face. Octavia gulped back her tears and looked back to Raven, nodding bitterly.

'Yes.'

'We only killed some of them. Blowing us up would be a bit unfair.' Zoran reasoned and Raven laughed.

'Wouldn't stop them.' Raven whispered, once her laugh had subsided.

Octavia looked at Raven in anguish. She knew what it meant to want to live, and she knew what it meant to kill but they should never be this. They should never cause this destruction. She didn't want to carry it, she didn't want any of them to have to carry it either. What had happened in Mount Weather had almost broken Clarke and this would be worse. This time they would know that there was a chance the Bunker People wouldn't have tried to kill them and that there could have been a chance for peace.

Yet she saw the fear in Raven and she couldn't deny that she felt it too. They could emerge from here, knowing their lives would be blown up. They could walk into a war and even if they escaped, know that their homes would be destroyed. If the Bunker People used the missile those deaths would be on their conscience too.

'We all knew that there would be risks involved in coming here.' Indra said. 'Heda and Wanheda are involved with the Flame, the wisest tools that have ever been passed to any of us. We don't know what lies ahead until they return.'

Octavia smiled at Indra gratefully. Echo's expression softened considerably and Octavia allowed herself to step away from both Echo and Raven, finally at ease that they wouldn't start brawling on the floor.

'I hope they come back soon.' Zoran said sadly.  

'Me too, kid.' Raven sniffed. 'Me too.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there are only two *content* chapters left. I may leave the last one a few days before posting just because there's a lot to the next chapter so I might let you all sit with it for a bit and there's a bit of a shift with the final chapter. After the final chapter has been posted though, I will be immediately uploading a chapter dedicated to explaining certain choices that people have questioned. This is purely because I couldn't answer comments before a lot of the time because of spoilers. If there's anything you want to ask or want me to address then please send it my way :)
> 
> Thank you *so* much for reading, for your comments and kudos. You've all made it immense fun. :)


	154. Human Synchronization

'What is human synchronization?' Clarke asked, her brow furrowed.

Lexa looked as baffled as  Clarke felt but there was still an air of composure about her, while Clarke's impatience was growing. It was wonderful to see Wick again but he wasn't being any help at all and Becca was being as vague as ever. They were supposed to have come here for answers.

'Go to the window.' Becca indicated.

Clarke and Lexa traded a glance but they consented to comply and stepped forward to the round window. Clarke's breath caught in her throat.

She looked down at the ground and all of the clans had been pressed together. She knew it was a trick of technology because the vasts lands had gone and they were staring down at the hub of activity of the centre of each clan but it was entirely believable. It wasn't like watching any surveillance system at all. Clarke would have felt faintly terrified at how high up they were if she hadn't been so lost in what she was seeing.

The drop ship had completely transformed. There were immense buildings throughout the settlement which was now like a small town and the rovers were coming and going with supplies. Becca flicked her hand at the window and the picture zoomed in quickly and she could see Niylah, trading an easy joke with Jackson and Nyko. Becca flicked the focus back out and slightly to the north west, Polis was also bustling with activity. The tower was being rebuilt and it was extraordinary, but not just in height now but in width. It was a more open plan and people were coming much more freely. She shot a glance at Lexa and saw tears glisten her eyes. It was a world where people were coming together.

Broadleaf, to the west of Polis, was also full of life. The people had made bridges from the trees themselves and Clarke marveled at it. Lexa had always said how beautiful their clan was but she had never imagined it to be quite so stunning. Azgeda was also brimming with life, Becca flicked so that they were looking down upon the mountains and the people there looked healthy and not emaciated like they had been under Soal's rule. There was food and markets crammed with people. Becca flicked south and boats were coming with regularity back and forth from Floukru. Luna had finally chosen to integrate into Lexa's clans.

'They found a way to survive.' Lexa murmured.

'They were following your orders.' Clarke reminded her, turning away from the window and facing Becca.

The people of the ground had found away despite the black rain and despite a life which seemed to thrust war upon them at every turn.

'Life goes on.' Wick said lightly but Clarke did not miss his glance to Becca and Lexa finally turned away from the window.

'It does, until the next war.' Becca replied seriously. 'How many battles have you been in, Clarke, during your short time on the ground?'

She felt Lexa stand at her side and she noticed how cautious she seemed.

'We survive.' Clarke shrugged, eyes still on Lexa.

'Don't you want more than that?' Becca asked and Clarke's eyes darted to her, with hostility.

'We have achieved peace.' Lexa said, stepping forward to Becca.

'For now.' Becca replied easily. 'But there is a way to ensure it.'

'Haven't you realised things were a bit...' Wick started, but then hesitated clearly struggling to find the right word, '...strange at the Bunker?'

'Everywhere we've gone has been strange.' Clarke deflected and Wick gave her an amused smile and nodded his head as though accepting defeat on that one.

'I gave them a choice.' Becca said. 'I wanted to learn from the mistakes of ALIE. She never gave anyone a chance and human emotions weren't valued. She saw them as weak and something that needed to be overridden. She sought the end of humanity itself. ALIE was my biggest mistake.'

Clarke refrained from hurrying Becca. She knew this already but she also knew what it meant to carry the guilt of the deaths of so many people. What she had done in the Mountain had not been on the same scale but she had wiped out families and their home. She had destroyed hope there. She could only imagine the burden of guilt that Becca had to carry all those years on the ground and just what it had driven her to do. Whatever the story surrounding the Bunker People was, she was sure it was a chance for Becca's redemption, at least in her own eyes.  

'What choice did you give them?' Lexa prompted after a moment.

Lexa's voice remained as steady as ever but Clarke could sense her disquiet, for the first time regarding the ways of the first commander. She had followed Becca dutifully to stop ALIE, not requiring to understand to the extent of Skaikru. She placed her faith in the ways of the ground and of what Becca had built as commander but standing here, Lexa was as withdrawn and steadfast as though meeting with a new ambassador.

'To create a new society where everyone mattered. Nobody could be given more value than anyone else. Clans could not attack each other for they were irrelevant; the people merged. The needs of the weakest became the needs of the strongest.' Becca explained. 'Left to their own devices, people are extraordinarily selfish. They needed to be compelled to care for others.'

'How did you do that?' Lexa asked quietly and Clarke felt her growing unease but she couldn't help but feel her own curisoity being peaked.

If they could find a way to force Skaikru to care for all of the other clans, if Azgeda could be firmly under Heda's rule and united by the clans, then they'd need never wage war again. They'd been in a constant state of fighting. The tower of Polis had been left in ruins, scattering dust and the destruction of hope in its wake. There had to be a better way. Every chance at peace had been thwarted.

'Tiny synthetic beads were implemented into the water system. These immediately merged with the water so that they could not be tasted or even seen.' Becca said. 'The choice was explained. The Bunker was to be a haven. Those who drank from the water would take on the process of human synchronization.'

'What is that?' Clarke asked.

'A way to ensure that nobody was left behind.' Becca said. 'My time on the ground taught me much but the basic pattern I saw every day is that people looked after the lives that were deemed valuable to them, whether that was a loved one or an ally. Anyone else was often left to waste, at best and at worst, targeted.

'Human synchronization connects every one of the Bunker People into the same system. The individual has merged with the group. What ones feels, they can all feel. My calculations though were more advanced...it was obvious that if a loved one was suffering then one would automatically feel empathy for them. It's an innate response.' Becca explained. 'I needed a way to bond those who had no kinship and so the experience of shared humanity was based upon disconnect to each other.'

'So if your enemy hurts or someone you don't care about hurts then you hurt.' Wick said. 'Easy way to stop a war.'

'All of the beads are connected into a singular system.' Becca went on, as if there had been no interruption. 'They can register emotion between people. If one has a reaction and yet another doesn't within the Bunker, because they are not attached in some way then their system will be triggered and they will share the same experience.'

'You've bound them by pain?' Lexa asked, a voice little more than a hiss in its disgust.

'And hope.' Becca emphasised. 'And love. They can  all share in joy together. They have the incentive to avoid pain because no one wins. If one suffers, they will all eventually suffer.'

'After the ALIE program-'

'I learned a valuable lesson.' Becca cut off Lexa. 'She tried to remove pain and remove all trace of personality. I have tried to heighten the reality of what it means to be human, not to erase it.'

Realisation swam within Clarke; that's why so many of the Bunker People acted as though they had been hurt before they had even been touched in battle and that's why Manto had known of the people already killed and they had most likely experienced the grief of the discovery.

'This is why we came here?' Clarke asked quietly, looking to Wick but it was Becca who answered.

'You wanted more, Clarke. You came because what you had wasn't enough. You were broken and sick of fighting. Your own mother had either tried to kill you or tried to take her own life in front of you. You came here for a better chance.'

'They came here because the Flames compelled them to.' Wick corrected.

'The Flames can't make them put one foot in front of the other. It couldn't make them cross the Dead Zone.' Becca refuted. 'Free will matters. This is their choice now.'

'Our choice to do what?' Clarke asked.

'To decide whether to become the Bunker People. You have reached the destination. In the panel where Raven is, she can disperse the beads into the system. The pipes that run here do not just transfer power; there are those that run alongside that travel to the waters of the clans. If you have chosen, then you will together lead a new world. One without suffering.' Becca said.

'Why us?' Lexa asked.

'You are ready. You are connected and you have worked in unity.' Becca answered. 'You must both make this decision. My work is done. Whatever you decide the Flames are yours and you will be the two to guide the next pair and whoever follows after that.'

'It's Raven's too.' Wick added. 'She knows the Flames. She knows my design and Becca's. Whatever you need, whatever choices you make she can be with you. The Flames can take on all of their blood too while remaining in you. Whatever future you want to craft, you can now. She will help forge the Flames under your direction.'

'If we do this-' Clarke started but she faltered at the shocked glance from Lexa.

'If?' Lexa questioned tightly. 'We cannot.'

'Lexa, this could save us all!'

'We do not require saving.' Lexa countered regally.

'Come on, everything we do...war follows us everywhere.'

'Then we try harder.' Lexa replied simply.

Frustration rocked against Clarke's veins. They'd been trying ever since they landed and it had gotten them nowhere. Barely any of the hundred had even survived.

'We've tried! A hundred times!'

'And look at what has been created.' Lexa said, indicating the window. 'A new world is being built under our leadership.'

'And how long until that is blown up?'

Clarke looked at Lexa, pleading for her to understand but Lexa's features remained as schooled as ever but she did step forward to Clarke. Clarke felt those green eyes burrowing into her own blue eyes and she fought the urge to look away, knowing what Lexa was seeking.

'Think of what it means, Clarke.' Lexa appealed. 'Every emotion anyone had you would be vulnerable too. Someone in the furthest clan could be in agony and so would you. You would have no protection from it.'

'Is that what're afraid of?' Clarke whispered. 'To be forced to feel? Is it that love is still weakness, Lexa?'

'And what are you afraid of, Clarke? Do you really wish for anyone else to have to share the burden of Wanheda?'

Clarke stepped back slightly, biting back tears. This could be a way that none of them would ever have to fear death again. The answers had been inside the Flame all along.

'I'm not afraid to love, Clarke.' Lexa went on softly. 'It is strength but it is also organic. I won't have it manufactured. Someone sharing my emotions, my feelings, and I do not wish to share theirs. I do not need any reason to recognise the humanity in my subjects other than the fact that they are living.'

'You're the only one.' Clarke retorted bitterly.

'I am not. Many have worked for peace. We have support. We are their leaders, we can make a peaceful world together but not by forcing it upon people.' Lexa urged.

'Look at the life of the Bunker.' Clarke said, desperately. 'They were happy.'

They'd managed to exist down here all this time. They'd built huge systems to be able to sustain life. If the clans all worked in unity, then there was no limits to what they could create together.

'And then they became a mob.'

'Because we killed them. The borders between the clans won't matter anymore.'

'So we erase who they are? Force them to be compliant?' Lexa questioned.

Clarke swallowed thickly and Lexa returned her gaze to Becca.

'What if we choose not to?' She asked, almost in spite of herself.

'Then the exit will open. You can go back to life with the knowledge that this place remains.' Becca replied. 'The option will always be here but if you decide to take it then it is done. There is no way to reverse it.'

Coming back wouldn't be an option. This journey had taken three of their number already. How many more would they ask to die? How would they even break in again? Clarke didn't know how they'd even emerge from the Bunker now without being slaughtered. The choice was now for them, or it would be with the next commanders.

'I wouldn't do it.' Wick interjected casually and Clarke glanced at him in surprise.

'We are supposed to leave it to them.' Becca hissed.

'You just want them to do it.' Wick countered.

'Why wouldn't you?' Clarke asked Wick suddenly, her voice slightly thick. 'Why wouldn't you become one of them?'

Wick shrugged and then loudly exhaled.

'We are who we are, Clarke.' Wick answered. 'We keep working to make things better and maybe one day they will be. I don't think we need to give up ourselves to do it. It's not worth it.'

'If it stops the deaths-'

'Is that all that surviving is?' Wick asked quickly. 'Not dying? Because seriously, Clarke, you're talking to a guy killed my a spider bite and I'm telling you there's so much more than that.'

Clarke lips twitched into the briefest of smiles. She thought of Lexa and their life together, even their wedding had been shrouded in the grief of her mother and yet she was still happy but it was hers. It was her memory. She wanted people to be happy but she wasn't sure she could give up herself for it.

She started slightly when she felt slender fingers close around her own and she turned to Lexa.

'If you don't trust yourself, do you trust me?' Lexa asked.

'I always have.' Clarke admitted.

She'd hated that, she'd despised it and she wanted to cut out every bit of her own flesh that had ever believed in Lexa after the Mountain but even when she returned to Polis she couldn't help but trust her. She thought it made her a fool, for believing in a simple vow but Lexa understood her. Even now Lexa could so clearly read that it was Clarke's fear and obsession with what the Flame offered that was fueling her doubts.

'Then let us leave.' Lexa replied. 'The next commanders can come back another day.'

Clarke smiled at Lexa but tears rolled down her face.

'And what do we tell our people when we say that we walked away from a guarantee of peace?'

Lexa leaned forwards slowly and pressed a gentle to kiss to Clarke's lips. Clarke felt Lexa's fingers gently wipe away her tears before she leaned back.

'We tell them we all deserve more in life than just surviving.' Lexa responded easily.

Clarke took a steadying breath. She had always felt empowered whenever she had made a rash decision and now she felt faintly sick but she held onto Lexa's hand firmly, knowing it wasn't her burden alone and that together they would carry on. There were so few times she had chosen not to take action, to just walk away. She'd stood at the door of Mount Weather willing for a fight, she'd rushed to the City of Light to stop the black rain, she'd charged down on Polis side by side with Lexa and Murphy and she had been the one to pursue the path the Flame was guiding them on. She remembered how she had argued with Bellamy, a long time ago, that safety was important and that they should abandon any hope of a fight for that. She didn't know whether she had come full circle or changed all together. She didn't know if she would end up living with regrets but Lexa's fingers lightly caressed her hand as they turned from Becca and she knew the life she wanted and she knew she didn't want to give up who she was to anyone. She'd given her people enough of herself.

Clarke gripped Lexa's hand and nodded silently. Lexa turned back to Becca who nodded stiffly but she did accept the decision.

Wick was beaming at the both of them and they turned to the window to watch the work of life on the ground below as they were taken in by the light.

Contentment gripped Clarke and she felt Lexa's hand in her own. Murmurings and whispered grew louder but they did not belong to either Wick or Becca. The white faded gently into dark and she felt the cold of the marble beneath her and she groaned, pulling herself up and opening her eyes.

Octavia's face immediately greeted her with concern and beside her, Murphy was kneeling next to Lexa who was sitting up. Clarke swept the hair out of her face and narrowed her eyes, adjusting to the light as though awakening from a deep slumber. It was somewhat disorientating having left so abruptly but they had made their choice and now they had to face it.

'What happened?' Octavia asked, her eyes narrowed and a deep frown upon her face.

'Nothing.' Clarke answered.

'Nothing?' Murphy repeated, astonished.

'Nothing.' Lexa confirmed. 'We were offered a solution. It was not worth the price.'

'Problems are much more interesting anyway.' Murphy grunted as he helped pull Lexa to her feet and Octavia helped up Clarke.

'We found the nuclear missiles.' Raven said and Clarke was surprised to see her looking somewhat sheepish.

'What did you do?' Clarke asked slowly.

'Nothing.' Raven snapped. 'I swear.'

'Not for lack of trying.' Indra retorted.

'Then we shall leave them as they were.' Lexa commanded.

'See.' Murphy said smugly to Raven. 'Told you.'

Clarke was utterly bewildered but given Murphy's confidence within the interaction she wasn't surprised to hear that elicit a string of swear words from Raven and the subsequent laughter from Zoran.

'They could kill us all.' Indra pointed out.

'I'd love to see them try.' Echo replied.

'This is not a joke.'

'They won't kill us.' Clarke replied confidently, although she did not feel like elaborating when everyone stared at her; there was no way they'd risk hurting the Flames.

Thje Flames had awoken. The choice had been made and walked away from but they understood the life here now. The fears that Clarke had felt maybe minutes before or perhaps hours had lessened slightly but she was confident that whatever had bound Hestia to waiting for the Flames would continue to exert its influence. It might have been the fear of death or maybe they were really longing to finally join the ground. Whatever it was the destruction of the Flames would end a world of possibilities, whether they knew it or not although Clarke did not think it was best to express that she was sure that only Lexa and herself would be spared. They may well still have a fight on their hands.

There was a loud whir of mechanics as the cylinder crunched to life, opening to reveal a glass staircase that spiraled upwards.

'That's helpful.' Zoran murmured, gazing upwards.

Clarke had to withhold a laugh as realisation struck her once more and she saw Lexa beam but she didn't seem surprised at all. Of course, the Flames had triggered this upon their awakening. Clarke began to realise she'd have to get used to living with this new insight, much as she did when she first took her own Flame.

Murphy stepped forwards and grabbed onto a wooden handle, pulling a round glass door open and stepping up onto the staircase.

'We don't know where it goes.' Raven pointed out.

'We could always take the elevator back up to the lynch mob.' Murphy suggested lightly, making his way up the stairs and Raven followed through the door with a glare. 'Thought not.'

Lexa smirked and they all went through the door. Clarke stayed at the back and Lexa hovered next to her. The staircase was incredibly narrow but Lexa trailed trailed her hand behind slightly and Clarke wrapped her fingers around it as they made their way up. The staircase was not entirely an ascension. Every so often it smoothed off into a glass corridor, that was encased by concrete until yet another staircase emerged. Clarke was sure had they stayed here fifty years she would never have revealed all of the secrets of the bunker and as curious as she felt about the society, she was looking forward to reaching the surface again; sure that was where they were heading.

The journey was not as quiet as Clarke had been expecting. Murphy and Zoran provided back and forth jokes and Clarke was left wondering just how they had ended up treating these situations so casually. She remembered a time when even stepping outside a wall would earn a rebuke from the nearest person to her but now they had banded together, almost as though they were invincible and yet they knew well the likelihood of death.

Each step was heavy and as they arrived at yet another stair case after travelling through a tunnel, Clarke looked back over her shoulder before putting a foot on the first step. Of course there was no sign. This was not the City of Light. The Flame could not guide her with this. The choice had been entirely hers and Lexa's. Lexa moved with grace and ease, as though they had not been traveling for weeks on end and had just fought their way through a bunker or ventured into the Flame and made such a huge decision, or at least walked away from one. When Clarke held doubts, Lexa was the quiet confidence that if they kept trying then one day they would perhaps succeed at peace.

Now they were both commanders. The grounders thought only one had ventured into the Dead Zone to try to find a better future, not knowing in fact that they had two all along. It had never been a position Clarke had wanted and yet she had chosen to be leader of Skaikru time and again. She remembered a time when Lexa had asked how she became leader, when they were in the woods having just escaped Pauna for the first time. Clarke had not recognised the own value of her choices. As much as people had looked to her, she had chosen to take on the role. Many people had walked away from such decisions either by hiding from them or by voting for somebody else. The title of 'leader' had not then been thrust upon her unwillingly; she had accepted it every time. She had created Wanheda and it was a title she wore proudly now.

The Flames had returned to their usual forms and while she felt much more aware of what they had been seeking, she also knew that she would not be greeted with any visitors now. Clarke shut her eyes briefly and found the connection with Lexa intact. She felt grains of understanding that she was sure were new to her since waking and yet she couldn't remember not holding them. The truth around the black blood and that Lexa's heir would meet her own one day. Whether they had an overt say in the decision in their choices was a matter for the future to decide. They could be long dead, or they could pass on the Flames willingly and walk away from what it meant to lead. They had long since repaid any debt they owed their people, after all. Lexa had been a good teacher to the Nightbloods before but perhaps Lexa would hold a different vision for the future now that she was free from the constraints of Becca's traditions.

When Murphy stalled on the stairs to annoy Raven, Octavia shouted up at him and he quickly resumed his journey but Clarke was broken from one musing into another. She was sure they should explain all that they had been told to the group. It was to be hers and Lexa's choice but they had come this far simply because Lexa had asked if they wanted to join. They deserved the truth. She wondered how they would react; Indra distrusted any technology yet put her faith completely in the concept of any commander or spirit, Echo and Octavia would likely be disgusted at the idea, Murphy would just be glad he hadn't been forced to be someone he wasn't but Zoran and Raven would likely have entertained the idea. She knew the technology would have fascinated Raven and Zoran was an idealist. He'd clung to hope in much the same way Wick had and that was how that even despite the fact he loved Wick like a brother, he had never once blamed her or Lexa for his death. Zoran wanted something better. Raven would want to control their futures as best they could with the technology they had. Clarke was glad that it would be a conversation had away from level eight.

'Door!' Murphy called out and the others began to file at the top of the stair case.

The door was metal and Octavia, Indra and Echo immediately pushed Murphy out of the way and grabbed the handle as Clarke and Lexa waited before it. They heaved, groaning slightly and the door jerked open. Clarke flinched at the glare of the sunlight and she jumped back when she heard shouting.

'You're here! You're back!' Harper shouted and Miller and Bryan rushed forwards and pulled each of them into a tight hug.

Octavia jumped onto the grass and turned around, Clarke following her out of the door way. The house was left in ruins just behind them and the rest of the area was as quiet as it had been when Clarke had last been here.

'There was a load of banging and then this door pushed up out of the ground.' Miller said, shaking his head in disbelief.

'Some people came after us.' Harper told them. 'Are we safe?'

'Yeah,' Clarke said, turning back to the group, 'we're safe now.'

Clarke looked across at the ocean. She could hear the waves from even here. She didn't have the energy to even worry about traveling back.

'So what happened?' Bryan asked eagerly.

'We won.' Echo said smugly and Harper, Bryan and Miller began to bombard her with questions.

Clarke smiled fondly, watching them all. Her body ached with tiredness and Lexa took her hand in hers, offering a soft smile.

'You going to tell me anything?' Raven asked in a low voice, stepping away from the chattering group as Zoran now told his version of the battle.

'You're the new Becca.' Clarke shrugged, feigning nonchalance while Raven scoffed.

'I'm far better than Becca.' Raven replied. 'So what happens now?'

'Whatever you want, I guess. The Flames are yours to play with too now apparently.' Clarke replied.

'That is not quite the way I would describe the situation.' Lexa replied seriously, eyeing Raven with caution as Raven smiled widely.

'Relax, I won't cut your head open.' Raven responded.

'Very comforting.'

'They can take on more blood.' Clarke said. 'Mine anyway, Lexa's is still limited by black blood.'

'Not totally.' Lexa corrected. 'It is less and less important. The connection is what matters.'

'I guess that means it's up to you now to choose your heir and not play by Becca's rules.' Raven said.

'An end to the ascension ceremony?' Clarke asked Lexa.

Lexa had been haunted by her ceremony and by what awaited all Nightbloods. It was difficult to imagine her demanding such brutality; Lexa had been the one to end jus drein jus daun. She was the visionary for the ground, the one that dreamed of peace and made it possible.

'A change in tradition over how it is conducted at least.' Lexa said and Clarke smiled happily.

They might not be able to guarantee peace always but maybe this was a start. It was something, and like Wick said, maybe if they just kept trying then one day it would be better and they might truly know what it mean to live rather than just survive.

'Life is what we make of it.' Raven commented.

Clarke glanced at the group and Harper seemed to be demonstrating just how well her hand worked in battle, much to the amazement of Zoran.

'It is.' Clarke replied, her eyes fixing upon Lexa. 'So let's go home.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody :) Well, Bunker People mystery solved. What would you have chosen? And what would you have done with the nuclear missiles? Pretty tough calls. 
> 
> Thank you *so* much for still reading. I've been amazed with the amount of comments, kudos and reviews from other sites too. You've all been wonderful and it's been an absolute blast writing it and engaging with comments. There's definitely been a few debates about characters...but I love that. :P So there's one content chapter left. In my author's note chapter, as I said, I'll explain a lot of choices and will look at this chapter too. The next chapter will be up next week...probably early on in the week but I won't make promises as it depends on my schedule. The latest will be about Thursday but I'm hoping for Monday/Tuesday.


	155. It'll Never Be Over

'Clarke,' Lexa murmured sleepily into her pillow, 'you're staring.'

Clarke grinned happily. Her head was resting on her hand and the sunlight had just swept through the city. The room was beginning to brighten. It still felt like a safe haven even though they'd had no reason to feel fear in a long time.

'You're beautiful.' Clarke replied, laughing lightly when she could see Lexa failing to fight a smile, despite still keeping her eyes jammed close.

'Why do Sky People hate mornings?' Lexa sighed, finally rolling over to face Clarke and opening her eyes.

'Sleep is time wasted.' Clarke said, in a faux wise voice.

'What would you rather be doing?' Lexa asked, playfully.

'I can think of a few things.' Clarke muttered, smiling widely.

She gently brushed Lexa's hair behind her ear before capturing her lips in her own. She felt Lexa smile against the kiss and Clarke immediately pulled her closer wanting to make the most of whatever time they were ever offered.

* * *

 

The warm water splashed over her face and she was reluctant to finally shut it off. She pulled the glass  shower door open, wrapping a towel around her before stepping out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom.

Lexa was dressed casually yet still in black and her hair was loose. Her back was to the window of the balcony and the sunlight seemed to embrace her. She was also lost to the task at hand and hadn't noticed Clarke leaning against the wall.

'Why are you making the bed?' Clarke asked, amused.

'Why did you shower?' Lexa countered, straightening up and smiling.

'Habit.' Clarke shrugged.

'We had baths on the ground.' Lexa replied.

'You know what I mean...the rituals...I'm glad we could keep them. It's strange enough without any concept of time.'

'Our friends demand time.' Lexa replied. 'They're waiting for us.'

Clarke sighed, leaning slightly more against the wall.

'Technically they're our subjects. We're their commanders.'

Lexa stepped around the white double bed and made her way over to Clarke, smiling.

'Were.' She corrected gently and Clarke rolled her eyes.

'Are.' Clarke emphasised. 'No such thing as time here, remember?'

'Nice try,' Lexa whispered, her lips an inch away from Clarke's, 'but your friends really are waiting.'

Lexa stepped back with a smug smile and Clarke groaned.

'I swear you were less responsible in Polis.' Clarke muttered and she turned and went to the wardrobe opposite her bed, pulling out her clothes. 'And I didn't miss that they are now my friends.'

'They always were.' Lexa replied, cocking her eyebrows and smiling as she lay on the bed and Clarke threw on her clothes.

'I think you've forgotten a lot of what happened after the Mountain.' Clarke replied, slightly darkly as she tied her boots.

'I remember the good things.'

Clarke turned, fully dressed and looked down upon Lexa.

'Murphy's more your friend than mine.'

Lexa rolled her eyes and sat up. Clarke offered her hand and Lexa allowed herself to be pulled to her feet but she quickly released Clarke's hand and stepped to the hallway.

'You gave him to me.'

Clarke's eyes narrowed and she thought back, biting back a groan in frustration at the memory.

'We needed a Flame Keeper.' Clarke grumbled defensively.

'And now our Flame Keeper seeks us.' Lexa said, stretching out her hand.

Clarke eyed it for a second before breaking into a smile and taking it. They stepped through the hallway together, their shoes echoing slightly off the wooden floor and they stepped out into the corridor. Lexa pressed the button for the elevator which arrived instantly with a jubilant chime and they were soon on their way to the lobby.

'Who is going to be there?' Clarke asked as they stepped out of the elevator.

They crossed the passage in a few short steps and Lexa held open the glass door for Clarke and they stepped out onto the pavement.

'All of them.' Lexa answered.

'Not all of them.' Clarke countered quietly and Lexa squeezed her hand.

'The ones who can.'

They fell into a steady stride as they crossed through the city. It was a bright day, as it always was now. The nights were quick and only lasted six hours allowing some rest but then the sun would rise and not even a single cloud would dot the sky. The only shade ever offered came from the buildings themselves.

'You think they'll need us today?' Clarke asked.

It would be nice to have no interruptions from Polis although neither she nor Lexa had ever been very good at managing to escape any duties to their people.

'They are growing more confident.' Lexa replied. 'They're learning what it takes to lead. We should be okay.'

Clarke glanced to Lexa and smiled fondly, although Lexa's eyes were firmly set ahead as they crossed the street and began to draw near to the park. It was strange to recall a time when Lexa had seemed so burdened by being Heda. She was still much the same in personality but she was lighter. She smiled much more frequently, she was comfortable with Clarke's joking and there was a lingering happiness about her. So much of their time on the ground had been shrouded with uncertainty, not because of death but because they didn't know how to live. Clarke smiled again; they really had come so far.

Clarke rarely thought back to their time as leaders. The choice they had walked away from had not strayed into her memory more than fleetingly and yet the journey back from The Dead Zone had felt heavy, as she carried the burden of questioning yet again whether they had made the right choice for their people, but then they were home. Whatever they could have had, faded away and she knew that choice would be for others. She and Lexa had made their choice together and there was no point looking back. The only thing she really hoped was that the people of the Bunker had been able to truly return to peace after their disastrous visit and that next time any such meeting between the grounders and Bunker People would not result in any blood spilled.  

They finally made it to the entrance of the park and Clarke was always glad to be met with green. The trees were slightly less tall than the ones that occupied Trikru but given that they were surrounded by metal buildings, they still held the impression that they could touch the clouds if they ever wanted to.

'I'm glad we made it here.' Lexa murmured, as they entered and Clarke knew she was not just talking about the beautiful park they were now in.

'It's okay.' Clarke replied easily. 'Our spirits would always stay together even if we didn't make it here.'

Lexa paused, catching Clarke slightly off-guard and she turned to smile at a stunned Lexa.

'Really?'

'Really.' Clarke replied, shrugging confidently.

She turned back to the park but she spun around when Lexa didn't move.

'Coming?' Clarke teased and Lexa broke into a smile and caught up within several strides, taking Clarke's hand in her own.

The path turned from pavement to dirt and it began to slope downward. They carried on down the hill for a minute before it leveled out and the turned the corner to see their friends all gathered around the lake a few hundred yards away.

Lexa laughed softly at Clarke when she saw them. Octavia was sparring with Echo, and Raven appeared to be doing the same with Zoran who was at least a foot higher than her and Murphy was waving his arms around in an effort to protect the blanket that had been laid out.

Zoran waved wildly as soon as he saw them approach and Raven took her opportunity to punch him hard in the stomach. Zoran doubled over and Raven covered her mouth in surprise as he cursed in pain.

'That was cheating.' Clarke called as they met the group.

'All is fair in love and war.' Raven shrugged, although she still looked taken aback. 'He should have kept his guard up. Have you learnt nothing?'

'I've learnt you're a cheat.' Zoran muttered, rubbing his stomach.

'Life is about survival, Zoran.' Murphy replied. 'You dropped your guard.'

'Raven was cheating.' Octavia added playfully and Murphy looked at her as though she had just deliberately started a potentially very bloody war.

'One must take any chance in battle.' Lexa quickly interjected, in case Raven took the bait.

'Whatever the Heda says...' Murphy smirked and Lexa shot him a half annoyed and half amused glance.

'Don't know how you coped with her for so long.' Zoran grumbled but it was teasing.

'Life on the ground...it changes you.' Raven said casually, sitting down to their surprise, and they all joined her.

'Because you were a saint on the Ark?' Octavia asked, trading a knowing glance with Clarke.

'Yes, actually.' Raven retorted, slightly forceful and Octavia struggled not to laugh.

'If I lived in that prison...I would have jumped into the stars.' Echo sighed. 'It was bad enough in the Mountain but at least that wasn't a lifetime.'

'We made it out.' Clarke said. 'Both times.'

'What was the Ark like?' Zoran asked and Octavia, Raven and Clarke traded tense glances.

Life on the ground had demanded all of their attention and much of what had happened on the Ark had been too painful for a lot of the hundred. Life of the Ark was rarely ever talked about and Clarke was usually relieved at that; it would be far harder to have gotten over the knowledge that their lives had been deemed expendable. She'd only ever spoken about it with Lexa, or in arguments she'd had with her mother.

'Don't look at me. I wouldn't know.' Octavia muttered and Clarke gave her a fleeting look.

'Clarke will tell you.' Raven offered, catching her attention and Clarke scowled.

'Will she?' Clarke asked sarcastically.

'You told me a lot about the Ark.' Lexa said innocently but Clarke turned her glare upon her and Lexa chuckled to herself.

Clarke nudged her and Zoran brought her attention back with a loud and fake cough.

'Sorry.' Clarke muttered, blushing.

'So you, Octavia and Raven were sent down together?' Zoran asked and Clarke shook her head.

'Raven came a about a week later.' Clarke replied. 'Octavia and I came down together though, with our friends.'

'One hundred criminals.' Octavia muttered.

'One hundred friends.' Clarke corrected and Octavia offered her a small smile.

'So will you tell me the story of the hundred now?' Zoran asked impatiently.

Clarke smiled softly, turning back to him. It was a smile full of love but mingled with pain and nostalgia. She looked affectionately at all of the people before her and found herself once more blinking back tears before she smiled back at Zoran.

'Oh, she will paint you a picture.' Raven joked.

'You'll be living our story.' Octavia retorted, with a glint in her eye.

Lexa stretched out and grasped Clarke's hand. She still held Clarke exactly the same after all of this time, as though standing strong within the very waves of the ocean, immovable and soothing. Clarke glanced tenderly at her before turning once more to an eager Zoran.

'Well, Zoran...' Clarke began softly as she reminscied.

She shut her eyes for a moment and she could hear the whirring of the engines and see vividly her own images in that dank cell.

'I felt the sun on my face. I see trees all around me, scented wildflowers on a breeze. It's so beautiful.' Clarke continued, opening her eyes and smiling still. 'In this moment I'm not stranded in space. It's been 97 years since a nuclear apocalypse killed everyone on earth, leaving the planet simmering in radiation. Fortunately there were survivors. Twelve nations had operational space stations at the time of the bombs. There is now only the ark, one station forged from the many. We're told the earth needs another hundred years to become survivable again. Four more space-locked generations and man can go back to the ground. The ground, that's the dream. This is reality and reality sucks.'


	156. Thank You

It's quite weird to be done writing the story! But I did promise to explain a lot of choices that were made. I couldn't do so before in the comments section or with an author's note because it would have risked spoiling future plots. For instance, I always had in my mind that Octavia and Clarke would be sisters and I did leave a lot of clues throughout but I couldn't flat out say it when there was everything with Bellamy. It was like that with a lot of different plot lines so I'll try and go through everything as best I can. There was a lot that happened though and I've had a lot of questions so if I forget anything I apologise!

 

* * *

 

 **Season 3** : I knew this would rile people quite a lot in the beginning but I'd chosen to go with this story because it was the closest to the canon. I needed that to show that Lexa did not have to die. I didn't want a completely different alternative but to show that Lexa was still relevant to the plot going on. I did consider just skipping to season 4 but there are a few reasons why that wouldn't have worked.

If I had just skipped ahead, everybody would have asked what Lexa had done. I also wanted to show little scenes with Lexa and Bellamy to build that tension but also to explore Lexa's relationship with Indra. Getting the flashbacks in as well was also really important to just add to the characters a bit more and demonstrate where their mindset was for season 4. I absolutely adored the flashback of Clarke and Lexa going around Polis but also of Lexa training with Anya. Those characters really just write themselves sometimes.

The Lexa-Luna confrontation annoyed a lot of people but I always said I wanted to make it believable and Lexa had just been shot a few days before. There was no way she was going to kick Luna's arse (although let's face it, Lexa had killed hundreds during this story with supreme skill). I hated that Indra was blown up in the show and then shot with a sniper and then went off to war the next day. I loathed that Lincoln was shot in the shoulder like it was nothing and that Monty was stabbed and running around Arkadia when Lexa got shot and died. It was unrealistic. Lexa took a back seat purely because of wanting to stay as true to what the reality would have been. I did that with a few people; when Indra was stabbed by Lexa, she needed time to recover and I tried to portray the pain Raven experienced with her leg throughout the entire story (as just two examples). Niylah was impacted by her burns too.

I didn't want to make Lexa a one dimensional hero who can do anything she sets her mind to. She's awesome but she's not invincible and getting shot would hurt anyone. That's why she came more into season 3 as the story went on. Plus, it also allowed time to explore Clarke's obsession with the Flame. I've not been that bothered about giving one of them a backseat for a while (like when Clarke went to live happily ever after in Polis at the start of season four) because they work so well as a pairing that one can easily take a bit of attention for a while and the other is more supportive and then have that shift. It's a pairing constantly in motion.

 

* * *

 

 

 **Season 4** : This was a really interesting one as I got quite a lot of my own material in but I basically had to take the threads of the show and weave whatever I wanted with it. I basically had: the characters are facing global nuclear meltdown and I have to figure out a way to save the world. It took me less than two minutes to figure it out. I'm not the smartest person in the world but I'm a big believer with scifi that the concepts that work are the most logical ones. There's no way they were going to be able to travel the globe so that left the City of Light.

Getting to bring back all of my favourite characters was quite self indulgent which I will admit. I did try and put a twist on it so that it was based on Clarke and Lexa's memories which is what led to that little tragic scene with Octavia and Lincoln...when O realised it wasn't her Lincoln but Clarke's version of him. As smooth as Clarke's interaction was with Wells (and Lexa with Anya), it was jarring with those two because Octavia and Lincoln were just passengers of the Flame at that point. It was Lexa and Clarke who remained in control.

I've been asked a bit about the decision to have Clarke kill her father. It really wasn't that difficult...I'm sure you're all probably used to how dark I can go by now. I wanted Clarke to embrace her autonomy, Lexa to show that she was supportive but never controlling; it was always Clarke's choice. I tried to choreograph that whole scene around the respect between the relationship but also Clarke accepting who she was and the choices she had to make after suffering with depression and survivor's guilt for so long (even before everything with Bellamy).

So...Bellamy...I guess I can't really avoid talking about him. I tried to be as fair to him as possible. I wanted to explore his emotions and his utter fear. He went the same way as Finn and he thought that he was constantly in danger and it's what happened with our main characters when they entered the Bunker. It causes unjustifiable actions but I can't say it isn't somewhat understandable. The mindset of 'kill or be killed' which was ultimately wrong but after living under those circumstances I think a lot would turn out like that. The problem with Bellamy's writing in season 3 though was that he was so clearly protected in the walls of Arkadia. There was no war. He didn't need to do it. In season 4 the drop ship situation was slightly more murky (yet still peaceful) but season 3 felt terrible because he just killed people because he wanted to.

Bellamy has always needed to feel in control. He's always been incredibly paternalistic such as when he arrested Clarke for "her own good". Now, I'm no Bellarke fan but I think Bellamy is an interesting character. The reason I'm not a Bellarke fan though is because it's a relationship that does feel toxic and abusive. So the split between the camps felt organic; Bellamy saying that he didn't trust Lexa and Clarke finally stopping apologising for who she is. They went their own way.

Having Clarke kill Bellamy was the first thing I wrote in my notes for this story. The general expectation I had when Lexa and Clarke first kissed was that: Lexa would die and Bellarke would be endgame. Guess at this point I'm at least half right but it felt like incredibly lazy writing to me. I like the exploration of Clarke and Bellamy but not as romantic partners. The basis for any relationship is about as respectful as KyloRey (aka not at all). Clarke's bi but that doesn't mean she needs a man to save her, especially one that has not treated her well. Honestly, at this point in the show Clurphy would be a better pairing if they are so intent on m/f lead couple.

I wanted to explore Bellamy and Clarke as friends who need each other, and often not very good friends but also people who just could not be reconciled. They were never going to agree. They faced each other for the last time with respect and as friends but they also knew they had to do whatever it took to survive. I tried to write the whole situation as delicately as I could. I wanted to avoid any cliches but ultimately, they were never going to agree and it's not like that wasn't a recurring theme from the very beginning. It was the only conclusion to their story that would have felt right.

 

* * *

 

 

 **Season 5** :  Well, how was I supposed to top a reunion of every character in the City of Light with an epic battle? By blowing up Arkadia and bringing down the Polis tower...

As much as the last season had been wrapped up in technology, I wanted to go back to the ground for this season. The Flames were really just background although they did provide nice moments to explore how Lexa and Clarke were still so in sync even though they were often miles apart physically. The decision to go to the ground though meant a lot of possibilities. I got to explore tactics with war, different weapons of the clans, the impact of black rain and I got to move Clarke away from leadership again.

I really wanted to explore the conflict with Clarke as being trained (at least partly) as a doctor and how she is Wanheda. It was always a source of conflict for Abby; Clarke went from being the perfect doctor child to being a mass murderer and Abby tends to see things in black and white (except her own actions). Abby's expectations of Clarke was always going to jar with who Clarke really is. It would have been easy to write Abby trying to kill Lexa but I wanted to purely focus on the relationship between Clarke and Abby. It angered people but I'd still do it again. I tried to explore Abby's mindset as much as Bellamy's. Given that I was always going to stay as close to the show's theme of survival then big characters had to die but I at least tried to give them as big a story line as I could and explore their motives.

That's not to say I'd in any way ran out of possibilities for Abby. There was a lot I could have done with her (to the point I did consider postponing the death for quite a while) but I went with what I felt was the better story to tell for this fic. A lot will disagree and I completely understand that. Like or loathe her, she was generally a pretty interesting (and often infuriating) character.

Clarke's reaction was interesting. Kane struggled a lot more with it than she did because at this point, Clarke was almost numb to death. She was focused on living but that's not to say she ever forgot. It's Clarke; she's a runner from pain and that's why she reacted so badly to seeing Abby again in the Bunker. It's why she was the one tempted by the choice while Lexa wasn't. They've learnt to cope but that doesn't mean they don't feel pain. They just know how to wear it now.

Lexa and Murphy were actually the most fun to write in this season, and yay at the Clexa wedding. I hate writing happy stuff so hopefully that went well :P I so wish Lexa had lived on the show just so she could have actually been friends with Murphy. In all of the stories and poems I think I have ever written, their friendship was my favourite.

Maven was also an interesting pairing. I love Raven's chemistry with Wick but again, that just felt too easy. Raven didn't need saving by any guy and it felt more real to not force them together just because he liked her and was a good guy. The problem was obviously Maven's history. I wanted to show how both characters had developed but also that nothing was forgotten. It's why it's taken them so long to really express themselves. I didn't want to just go 'oh well I love you, everything is grand now' because it would have felt demeaning to both characters. I also deliberately left Ocho open too in the end. I like that relationships are complicated. I think the layers and the intricacies between the characters and neat and tidy stories have never been my forte.

It's why I've never given Clarke or Octavia a 'bff sister' moment. It wouldn't be right to either of them. They're always share that bond, and the bond of the hundred but they're two incredibly different people. They'll always be there for each other but every so often they'll have a screaming match too. Octavia's learning and growing, she showed that by talking Raven out of using the nuclear missiles but not one of these characters is going to be perfect. They've all got their flaws and it's funny because O and Clarke share a lot of those same flaws: they can be hot headed and rash and they're both stubborn as hell.

I have to admit I was surprised that nobody guessed they were sisters. I left clues with O and Abby throughout season 4. It did worry me a bit because I thought "shit, what if I've done tbhis terribly and no one will go for it?" but I think it worked out okay in the end...hopefully. I loved the whole complicated dynamics going on with Abby, Raven, Clarke and Octavia. Abby saw Raven as a surrogate daughter (then Raven shot her...oops), Clarke was so close to Raven and even joked she was the sister she never wanted...not knowing Octavia was and Abby kept trying to talk toi O when she was Chancellor and to give her guidance which just fell flat. Then the tension which simmered for a long time between Raven and Octavia. Raven would always see what happened with Bellamy as completely disloyal to Clarke (and she was angry on behalf as Bellamy too because he was still one of them). It was nice in s6 when Raven got to punch O. :P

I could have dragged the whole sister reveal out for way longer but the simple fact was that Murphy had too much respect to lie to Lexa (and he was extremely concerned about Octavia's past behaviour anyway) and Lexa had too much respect to lie to Clarke. I don't like the whole route of 'keeping something quiet to protect their feelings' because that isn't what life is about or what trust is. Lexa had to tell Clarke because Clarke would have wanted to know and she had to be aware of any ill feeling O may be harboring. Lexa had to trust in Clarke's reaction and watch Clarke go through the hard pain of it all. She just had to support her. Everyone always told Clarke what to do and how to act but Lexa truly loved her for who she was; and that means trusting her and letting her be without trying to edit her experiences or reality to make life easier for everyone.

I liked writing everything around Soal too. It was a bit mysterious but I really wnated to take a look at grounder culture and how it had treated people with the effects of radiation absolutely hideously. Soal could only be what Nia had turned him into. Emori, Niylah, Zoran, Soal had all been oppressed hugely under the rampant ableism on the ground. Soal was told to hate those who hated him and yet he never wanted war. He was weak because he'd never been allowed to be anything else. It was something Lexa realised and she was sure that there could be peace if only it wasn't for Rosar and her bigotry. It was never Soal's fault but the system of oppression in place for almost a century. It was about far more than just one King and Lexa knew that.

 

* * *

 

 

 **Season 6** : This was a bit of a gamble. I had intended, due to other commitments, to end after season 5 but I still had the plan of human synchronization in my head and I just couldn't work it into an earlier point so I thought 'sod it' and went for it. I wanted a season purely focused on our characters, away from the politics that have dominated all the other seasons. To do that I had to get them away from the environment and there was still a lot of unanswered questions around TDZ and CoL so it seemed to fit.

I think some people were expecting me to kill off everyone but Clexa but that wasn't my intention. I very nearly killed off Octavia but should I come back to this story, I'd hate to have left her behind. She's still such a complicated figure. I'm sorry to Monty, Wick and Kane fans as I really did love those characters but it was the last season and it was a very harsh journey. There was no way I was going to have everyone survive.

It was strange to go through that part of the story. Everyone was sick of Skaikru and a lot wanted them to die but when I killed them off people were naturally upset :P The thing is, I get why this fic might have been tough. A lot of people use fics for escapism esp when a beloved character has died and they just want a story where everything works out. That was never my intention though and I tried to make that as clear as I could from the start.

Monty, Kane and Wick were all chosen for very different reasons. I wanted to show how far Kane had developed with him embracing death and sacrificing himself for the others as he did start the show sacrificing the 100 for himself (and the other Arkers but still). Wick and Monty just felt right. With Raven so strong, we didn't really need them even for backup from a skill set point. Having them die due to the environment rather than war also felt more fitting for me. It wasn't too melodramatic, it wasn't designed to really play with people but it was just reflecting how damn difficult it is to live on the ground. There's been a lot of focus on the deaths brought about by war but not so much about deaths from the ground itself for quite a while. There's only ever been fleeting threats such as Pauna or river snakes cropping up once in a blue moon.

The other thing that split people was The Bunker. I had half of the people reading wanting the Bunker to be wiped out and the other half wanting Skaikru to do (even though it was a group filled with the hundred, Trikru, Azgeda and a Wastelander). It was kind of what I was hoping for though. I was playing on expectation. We've seen enough of this world to come to expect that new people aren't going to roll out the red carpet but TBP never did anything really. They retaliated. Yes, they came off superior and they were very mysterious but irl that wouldn't be worthy of death. I did this to show how far they had all fallen really into suspicion. They're a product of an incredibly bloodthirsty life, even without jus drein jus daun. They've all been traumatised. Death is something that is both terrifying and yet second nature to them. They're not bad people but they're not good either. Even the amazing Lexa has her flaws (although I did always try to contrast her to Clarke whenever she went into Wanheda mode). They will all choose kill rather than be killed. The problem is their judgement; they always expect to face that reality rather than expect peace.

Raven was always the most loyal to Clarke and because of this, she seemed to shy away from a lot of accountability because it was always Clarke vs Octavia or Clexa vs the world. She was an enforcer in a way. She ruthlessly and efficiently aexecuted every battle whether in the CoL or from Arkadia. She knew what the ground demanded and she didn't waste time feeling bad about it. It wasn't going to go away so there was no point in her mind feeling guilty. It's why I wanted her to come so close to using the nuclear missiles. The attention had always been on O out of that group but look how close Raven came to wiping out a civilisation and not thinking twice about it. She's not a bad person. She loves technology and she admires the power of it because it can help keep them safe. It's just when you've been in that world so long that extreme actions don't feel so extreme anymore when you've faced with them every damn day.

The last chapter I guess was kind of an epilogue. I left enough threads to pick up again for at least another season though, whether that focuses on the return home or long after. Some other people have the Flames so we don't know what time we're in. Maybe Clexa gave them up willingly or maybe they're dead. Either way their spirits are always together. How can I avoid a byg trope when everybody dies? I said I wanted them endgame and I meant to the very end no matter what so how can I make that happen? By making sure death isn't the end.

Just look at the Clexa fandom now. Yeah, Lexa is gone but has the fandom gone? Absolutely not. As I write this I'm seeing tweets all over that it's 6 months without Lexa. I know in years to come there will still be memes everywhere (I still see them from Buffy and I *hated* Buffy). It's the whole Dumbledore quote of the "ones we love never really leave us" and it's about the power of stories. How many lives has Clexa touched? That story was viewed in a world where in half a dozen countries it's still punishable by death to be LGBTQ+. It's a world where even the best countries on LGBTQ+ rights still have a crisis with trans healthcare, LGBTQ+ homelessness and hate crimes. Clexa gave a lot of people hope and some comfort and a lot of those people aren't in a position to really explore their own sexuality. Just because some straight guy decided to kill off the lesbian doesn't mean Clexa has gone. The fandom have shown that and I wanted to reflect that mood very much within the story. People die, they've come back but they've never really left even the ones who aren't in the Flame.

We've seen Echo, Octavia, Clarke, Lexa, Murphy, Raven and Zoran in the Flame. It's heavily implied the others can't be there. Did they die? Did they choose not to let Raven upload themselves? After all of the incredible things that have happened, does it matter? Kane embraced death because he didn't believe in it. He didn't believe he could just be gone and he wasn't. His legacy of peace lived on in all of them, whether they realised it or not.

 

* * *

 

 **So what now?** It's a story I've loved and still have ideas for. I've just been plotting out a little Murphy story line but I'm about to start a post graduate course, I'm a freelance writer and I have a part time job. Oh and if you want to follow my work and writings then you can see it easiest probably by my Twitter: @StephFarnsworth . I will be going back and adding certain scenes though. There were some I didn't write because they weren't essential to the plot or they didn't have clues as to what was coming because I was actually pretty strict time wise over how long I could spend on this. If I go back to it to write a new season then updates won't be as regular because of my outside commitments.

I also had plots for about a dozen other possible Clexa stories to run with. One was Clarke being captured by Ice Nation, another Clarke being found by Indra and working with Trikru and abandoning Skaikru for good, the other main one was going in a completely different direction to the show with the sci fi stuff. It picks up from 3x06, Clarke gives herself up to Pike, starts a civil war and then they have to deal with a very different ALIE threat to what the show gave us. I suppose the point is that regardless, there's a thousand different ways to tell this story and a lesbian has never had to die to do it. It was a choice.

It's not just about the 100 when so many other LGBTQ+ characters have been killed on TV this year. There's such amazing potential for stories, I just don't get why we keep trying to tell the same one that's always been done. Maybe this hasn't gone that well, you guys will judge that but at least it shows that other stories are possible and any excuse is just bullshit.

Finally, thank you to everyone who kept reading. Jeez, I can't believe the amount of chapters. Sorry about that :P Thank you especially to those regular commenters such as: Danni511, nerf_herder_party, malexandria, EmSkittle, Shinda85 and about half a dozen others who have posted comments on this site from the very early days of the fic. I know not everyone leaves comments so I especially appreciate it when people take the time out to repeatedly comment on a fic. :) 

I've always loved telling stories but I've also loved arguing over them and debating them so this has been a little bit of heaven to me. I can be stubborn with my plot and if I get a vision then I stick to it but I have taken on every bit of feedback- good and bad. I consider them all and I really try to address them as best I can even if there's no major changes.

Hope you guys had half as fun reading as I did writing.

Take care,

Steph :)


	157. Grasping Water Season 7 Trailer

"So..."

Lexa smirked at the familiar drawl. She pushed herself lightly away from the balcony. She turned back to face the inside of her quarters to see Murphy leaning against the doorway, his face slightly bloody - but that smug glint remained in his eyes.

'Miss me?'

Lexa scoffed.

'The peace had been rather enjoyable,' she remarked.

* * *

 

**They're back**

* * *

 

Clarke pushed the doors to the quarters open. She froze when she saw Murphy inches from Lexa. It was a scene that had managed to escape her eyes for nearly a year. Their intent whispering could barely be heard. The Flamekeeper had truly returned then…

She closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them, Murphy was looking at her, almost apologetically. His hushed meeting with Lexa now over.

'You're back,' Clarke said, strained and eyeing Murphy carefully.

'Nice to see you too, Clarke.' Murphy replied.

Clarke exhaled, exasperated.

'What the hell went wrong this time?' Clarke snapped, as she watched Lexa and Murphy trade looks of dread.

* * *

 

**Into the fight.**

* * *

 

Luci screamed into Harper's shoulder, as Harper gently jiggled her to soothe her with her one whole arm. Harper's whole body ached; she never knew she could be this tired. The weather was at least warmer. The new city had not fully be constructed but Harper preferred life in her own small tent. Seeing this new camp change to an entire civilisation was unnerving, when a few feet of way were the doors to the drop ship that had brought them to the ground.

'Clarke says-' Miller started.

'No.' Harper stated loudly, making everyone near the dropship turn to her.

Harper look back at Miller seething.

'I don't care.' Harper said firmly. 'We've done enough.'

'It doesn't matter,' Miller urged. 'They're coming either way.'

'Don't they always?' Harper hissed.

* * *

 

**But who**

* * *

 

The wind ruffled the long blades of grass as Zoran dropped to his knees.

'Zoran!' Raven screamed, a dozen yards away as a warrior approached.

The warrior's dark hair whipped behind her against the wind. She was twice as tall as Zoran and grinned, licking her lips as she pulled out her blade with a deadly hiss.

Raven bit back a groan as she ducked down. Zoran's eyes remained closed as Raven grabbed the wooden spear from the ground and threw it with a roar.

Zoran didn't stir as the spear plunged into the warrior's chest. She gasped, blood spraying Zoran's face and she fell face down into the ground with a dull thud.

Raven panted lightly with the force of the throw and it was Murphy who spoke first, as they watched Zoran still kneeling in tranquillity.

'I told you he'd spent too much time with Luna,' Murphy bit.

* * *

 

**Will rise?**

* * *

 

The flicker of the candles illuminated the cave. Octavia sat up, wrapping the furs around her as she watched Echo spar with an invisible enemy.

'You're dedicated,' Octavia commented.

Octavia watched as Echo slowed, her muscles taunt as she turned to Octavia, steel in her eyes.

'For Azgeda.'

* * *

 

**This time they will all have to find peace**

* * *

 

'We're here as long as the Flames support us,' Lincoln shouted.

He was stood in what looked like an old engineering room, but in the middle of the floor there was a gap, where a young girl had been forced to hide many times.

Bellamy was stood next to it, looking impatient.

'We're here as long as Clarke lets us,' he corrected.

'She doesn't know we're here,' Lincoln argued.

'Yes, my daughter does,' Abby interrupted before Bellamy could snap back. 'Deep down.'

'So we're fighting again?' Finn asked.

'We can't be killed,' Bellamy joked. 'So there's nothing to worry about.'

'Yeah,' Finn agreed, clipped, 'or we can and we end up in another Flame version of life.'

Bellamy swallowed, looking faintly nauseous.

'One life was really enough,' Lincoln muttered.

* * *

 

Raven ripped off her gloves, throwing them on the bench.

'Clarke saved you!'

'Yes,' Zoran, snapped at Raven, 'at the clinic. When she was a healer, not a leader.'

Raven looked around the busy engineering station. The grounders and Skaikru recruits were at work developing the solar panels, lost only to their tasks.

'She has always protected us.' Raven urged. 'So has Lexa.'

'Maybe it shouldn't be up them,' Zoran said, barely more than a whisper. 'The Flame was Becca's creation. Becca was the bringer of death. She brought the radiation.'

Raven looked at Zoran, lost as he threw his arms up, annoyed and stormed out.

* * *

 

**With themselves**

* * *

 

'I'm sorry, old friend,' Indra muttered.

She pulled her horse's reigns and he gave a small snort. She looked over the cliff and at the edge of the tree line to the thousands of small figures on the horizon. They were little more than ants on the horizon and yet held more power than she would ever know.

She smiled sadly as she thought of Kane.

'War is here.'

* * *

 

'I know that-'

Clarke shook her head, stopping Lexa's words. Clarke stretched out her hand and took Lexa's in here's, stroking Lexa's fingers.

'It would always come back.' Clarke said.

'I wanted peace for us,' Lexa urged, regret making her voice crack.

Clarke looked at Lexa, smiling softly.

'I know.'

'Will we be prepared?'

Clarke's eyes studied Lexa closely. It was one of the few times Lexa had spoken of an upcoming threat and not adopted an air of the commander's authority.

'I think we're going to destroy them,' Clarke said, shrugging.

* * *

 

'I don't want to stay!' Zoran spat as Murphy slammed him into the wall.

'Listen to me!' Murphy hissed. 'You want peace? Peace will get you killed. You want to die? Then stop fighting but don't beg Raven to save you when they put a knife to your throat!'

* * *

 

There were cheers and roars around the camp, a small circle gathered around two training warriors.

Indra spat blood. She wiped her nose on her sleeve as she glared back at Miller.

'You dropped your guard,' he said, shrugging.

* * *

 

'They're following, Luna now.' Lexa whispered, looking out onto the new city of Kane, that had been built around the drop ship.

'She only took charge for a while. They're coming back to us.'

'We left after the fall of the tower.' Lexa said, knowing how many had seen that act as a betrayal.

'Listen,' Clarke said, leaning gently against Lexa. 'They'll follow us. Luna offers nothing. She'd let her own people die to save herself.'

'Maybe it's easier than fighting.'

'It's always been easier; that's why people follow us.'

* * *

 

'Let me get this straight,' Octavia said scathingly in engineering, looking between Clarke and Raven who seemed perplexed at her anger, 'you want me to lead an army of the clans, including Azgeda, and teach them how to fire guns, if you can even make them?'

Raven nodded.

'And if they try and give us all a thousand cuts?' Octavia quipped.

'We flee to Broadleaf,' Rave shrugged and an incredulous looking Octavia.

'There's no running,' Clarke shook her head. 'They're here. They're turning them. We don't have a choice.'

'No,' Octavia scoffed, 'I'm making this choice. I saw it. This plan is stupid but if they tie me to a tree at least it was worth it.'

* * *

 

**Their fate is here**

* * *

 

'What if Zoran is right?' Raven snapped, slamming her pad down on the bench. 'What if Becca screwed us all?'

'We were already screwed,' Murphy shrugged.

'Shit.' Clarke said, as she dropped her grip an an arrow narrowly missed Lexa's guard's head.

Lexa stared at Clarke, horrified.

'I'll get better,' Clarke promised.

Indra stared into the camp fire as Clarke sat down heavily opposite her. Clarke joined her hands together and Indra could feel that Clarke was carefully observing her.

'The world is coming apart at its seams,' Indra finally said in a low voice.

'Then I guess we'll just have to stop it.'

* * *

 

**Grasping Water will return.**


	158. Some Things Stay The Same

'Unity Day is a waste of a day off,' Raven complained.

Clarke smiled sardonically. She couldn’t really disagree, and there was a lingering resentment in the air.

While few would grudge Lexa or herself calling a holiday, there were still those among the original clans who didn’t accept being told to celebrate Skaikru’s history as though it was a part of their own. Yet there were those in Skaikru who would not relinquish their own stories for the sake of their clans. They all had their own traditions, and they all had their own histories, and Lexa saw no reason why both shouldn’t be honoured. Clarke just saw it as a distraction. The true story now of Unity Day felt sickening now they understood it.

The new city, Metropolis, had still embraced the excuse of a celebration. The city was the most unusual Clarke had seen and she had little idea how it would end up when it was finally complete. The dropship was at the heart of it, and was now used as part of Jackson’s now large hospital. The ruins of Arkadia had helped construct it. The metal expanse stood out as it was surrounded by buildings of wood and stone. It was the sturdiest and safest construction that had been undertaken. Clarke had insisted upon it. The healers of the clans were good, but they needed proper facilities. She would never take peace for granted. Too much had happened.

Clarke breathed in the smell of moonshine and wine, as people danced and sung throughout the city. Most of the buildings did not have a roof. The tree canopy was their protection. Indra had not wanted the forest disturbed, and Trikru had helped construct the city. Many of the trees had been woven into its design. It was beautiful, she had to admit. Great tree barks would be used as walls, or bent trees as part of a bridge. If visitors stumbled upon it they might thing Metropolis had risen out of the earth. Clarke knew it had secretly become Trikru’s greatest prize.

'Idiots,' Raven muttered when two men, laughing and joking bumped into the table they were at, in the open expanse of the town hall that was bathed in star light.

Clarke rolled her eyes, before downing her tankard.

'Where are you going?’ Raven asked, eyes narrowed.

'To see what’s taking Lexa so long,' Clarke answered. 'I can’t take your complaining anymore.'

'Because you’re always the life and soul of the party,' Raven muttered as Clarke turned her back.

'I heard that,' Clarke chimed.

'You were meant to.'

* * *

Lexa sighed as the cold snapped against her face. It was pleasant, after the hot summer and fall. The noise of the Unity Day festivities could still be heard from her quarters. The liveliness to the event reminded her of being back in Polis, at least before the war. Life was quieter there now, as though people didn’t want to celebrate that they had survived when so many had died in such a mess of a conflict. Azgeda were barely welcome within the gates.

The day would be difficult for Clarke, and for those closest to her within Skaikru. Unity Day had felt cursed for them, she knew. It was a day marked in death but this year at least was defying that.

'So...'

Lexa smirked at the familiar drawl. She pushed herself lightly away from the balcony. She turned back to face the inside of her quarters to see Murphy leaning against the doorway, his face slightly bloody - but that smug glint remained in his eyes.

'Miss me?'

Lexa scoffed.

'The peace had been rather enjoyable,' she remarked.

‘And there I was out risking my life…’ Murphy joked.

‘You’d never be so foolish as to risk your life, but I worry about anyone who crossed you,” Lexa said seriously, taking in his appearance.

‘They crossed us,’ Murphy corrected, ‘and they deserved it.’

Murphy’s expression turned bitter, and his eyes were wild.

‘Tell me everything,’ she said.

* * *

 

Raven walked back to her room, swearing as a drunk idiot jumped out of a bush and started singing at the top of her lungs. She was sick of today.

She slammed the door behind her and was grateful she insisted on throwing one of the old tarps over the place. It wasn’t a secure roof but at least it helped shut out the noise slightly.

‘You woke me up,’ Zoran said, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.

‘Me?’ Raven asked, incredulous.

Zoran fell on his back dramatically. He had grown almost half a foot and his hair was slightly longer.

‘I thought you’d be happy now Murphy was back’

Raven titled her head.

‘You saw him?’ She asked, crossing his arms.

‘He came here first before he went to see Lexa,’ Zoran responded, still staring up at the blue – and torn - ceiling.

‘And then left…coward.,’ Raven said to herself, but she supposed she ought to be grateful Murphy had came back alive.

Raven had no idea why Lexa had sent Murphy off to try and find out what was going on instead of Indra or Octavia. Lexa still didn’t trust easily, and Indra was part of the politics of the clans. Octavia though could have been called upon in a moment’s notice. Murphy was a survivor precisely because he tried to make sure it was other people walking into conflict.

‘What’s the cure?’ Zoran asked suddenly and Raven’s eyes widened.

‘How did Murphy know about that?’

‘Maybe I worked it out,’ Zoran said defensively.

‘If you had you wouldn’t be asking what it was.’

Zoran’s mouth opened and closed several times but no sound escaped.

‘He said he heard you talking to Clarke on the radio before he left and he never got a chance to ask.’

Raven nodded at the explanation. Clarke had mentioned it and she knew Murphy wouldn’t let it drop. He was much more on Lexa’s side when it came to technology, who saw it as something to be revered or even feared.

‘So, what is it?’ Zoran asked, suspicious.

‘I thought you wanted to sleep?’ Raven countered.

* * *

 

Clarke made her way back to the Commanders’ chambers, her feet sinking slightly in the damp mud. Even the floors had been kept the same. So many people had not wished to return to Polis after the war with Azgeda. They’d been left homeless, wandering between the borders but as this city rose people saw it as a new hope. Polis was being rebuilt too. It was over a year in and still not complete but it remained the capital.

There were still the usual guards occupying each wall and door. Having two commanders had not increased the security, nor had it done much to ease fears. The grounders were used to their traditions and having leaders share power was not one of them. Clarke made her way through the back corridor that was glowing in the flicker of candle light.

'Is she in there?' Clarke asked the guard opposite her as she eyed the door he was guarding.

'Yes,' he grunted, annoyed, 'and not alone.'

Clarke bit back a retort.

Clarke pushed the doors to the quarters open. She froze when she saw Murphy inches from Lexa. It was a scene that had managed to escape her eyes for nearly a year. Their intent whispering could barely be heard. The Flamekeeper had truly returned then…

She closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them, Murphy was looking at her, almost apologetically. His hushed meeting with Lexa now over.

'You're back,' Clarke said, strained and eyeing Murphy carefully.

'Nice to see you too, Clarke.' Murphy replied.

Clarke exhaled, exasperated.

'What the hell went wrong this time?' Clarke snapped, as she watched Lexa and Murphy trade looks of dread.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thanks for reading! Good luck to any and all of you currently doing NaNoWriMo!


	159. A Hundred Problems

 Clarke watched as Lexa glanced to Murphy who flapped his arms. He was back in his absurd Flamekeeper uniform, with the sleeves far too wide for him. He had no doubt put it back on so he could travel without drawing attention that Skaikru clothes would, but also to remind people of his authority if needed. However, as he looked at Lexa, in despair, he seemed comical.

‘Clarke, we have a problem.’

It was Lexa who spoke as it was clear Murphy did not have it in him to start the conversation. Clarke couldn’t entirely blame him. These chats usually started with problems and ended up in mass murder.

‘We knew that,’ Clarke replied, slightly impatient; ‘it’s why we sent Murphy out. He was supposed to find out what was going on.’

‘And I did!’ Murphy snapped, stung.

‘And?’ Clarke snapped back.

‘It’s the Azgeda border,’ Murphy answered, with complete exasperation in his voice. ‘People are going miss there. If they stray over and even up the mountain a little – they get taken. Nobody knows where.’

‘Damn it,’ Clarke spat.

Would nothing keep Azgeda in line, Clarke wondered bitterly. They lost the war and their reputation had been destroyed. The clans were weary and felt huge sympathy for the losses Trikru sustained. Arkadia’s explosion had been one of the best decisions Skaikru could have made. The metal walls and gates symbolised the threat of technology and guns. The Grounder were at greater ease with a Skaikru that held no borders to guard. Yet, still Azgeda were causing problems. Their leadership was still in ruins. They had different people squabbling around the table, and any new names for monarch never lasted long. The last one had been killed within three weeks. The other clans were bored of Azgeda and keen to press on with trade negotiations while a rival they had all feared at one time or another tore itself apart. It was only at Murphy and Clarke’s urging that Lexa had not brought them directly under Polis rule. Clarke worried it would make the situation even more tense, and Murphy just didn’t want the hassle. With Azgeda behind the disappearance of at least a dozen of Trikru and three of Skaikru though, Lexa would intervene one way or another. Clarke knew that while Lexa may sit back and let Azgeda dictate its own future, she wouldn’t do so at the expense of the other clans.

Murphy had volunteered to go, Clarke knew, so that he could try and find any reason out of this mess. Clarke had been grateful. She’d wanted to order him herself. Although she didn’t enjoy knowing that one of their closest friends who almost always pissed people off was going to an area where people were going missing.

‘How did you get that?’ Clarke asked after a moment, and indicated Murphy’s less than pristine face.

‘Azgeda,’ Murphy shrugged but when Clarke looked alarmed he quickly explained, ‘just one drunk guy. He kept talking about how Skaikru should be finished. He didn’t know anything. He was just an idiot. Hit hard, though.’

Lexa eyed Murphy’s bloodied face with regret before her green eyes met Clarke, and Clarke’s stomach dropped.

‘We have to intervene,’ Lexa stated. ‘We’ll travel to Azgeda ourselves. The protectors of the ice mountain will give us passage and by the end of my visit there will be a new leader, and answers for the disappearances.’

Clarke shook her head.

‘Clarke-’

‘Clarke’s right,’ Murphy interjected, taking them all by surprise. ‘They never listen. They don’t give a damn about protecting that mountain. They’ve called themselves ten different things and the only thing they decide on next is who to kill so they can keep in control.’

‘I hadn’t said anything yet,’ Clarke pointed out, ‘but Murphy is right.’

‘People could be dying,’ Lexa pointed out.

‘Aren’t they always?’ Murphy responded.

Lexa shot Murphy a look of mild disgust.

‘There has to be a resolution to the situation.’

‘Every time we give them a resolution they create more problems,’ Murphy retorted, annoyed.

Clarke rubbed her temple, feeling a headache set in. The dull pulsations from the Unity Day celebrations were not helping. She was sick of having to deal with Azgeda. It was always them, but this time they had nothing. They had no ruler. The people of Azgeda hated the idea of being run by a committee. Many had even left their own clan. The time of Azgeda felt over. The clans were united against them; peace was the agenda now. Living under two commanders and creating a new way, a new legacy was the priority for them. Azgeda had nothing to gain from these petty games.

‘Wait…’ Clarke said slowly, looking up at Lexa and Murphy. ‘Did you see Azgeda take them?’

Azgeda were many things, including deadly, but they were rarely subtle.

‘No,’ Murphy shrugged. ‘But it’s within their borders. One kid was snatched just a few hundred feet away. I saw.’

‘How?’ Lexa questioned quickly.

Murphy suddenly went pale and fidgeted with his sleeves.

‘Him and his mate had this game to see if they could lure Azgeda out.’

‘And you let them use each other as bait?’ Lexa asked, cold.

‘It was Echo’s plan!’ Murphy spat. ‘She tracked me down. She wanted to prove that it wasn’t Azgeda. She said she could take anyone and that they’d be fine. It wasn’t even dark but he just fell behind a rock. We ran after but we couldn’t find him.’

‘Echo has no authority in this matter’ Lexa seethed.

‘She didn’t really give me much of a choice,’ Murphy scowled, and he pulled down the neck of his cloak to reveal a fine red line across his neck.

Lexa’s expression turned to ice.

‘She might be right.’

Lexa shook her head in surprise, while Murphy spat a sarcastic ‘thanks’.

‘The first people we’d blame would be Ice Nation. They’d be the first we’d turn against,’ Clarke said, feeling sicker by the second.

‘Because they make it so easy.’

‘No, Murphy,’ Clarke said slowly, ‘what if that’s what we’re supposed to think?’

‘You think someone wants to frame Azgeda?’ Murphy questioned, exasperated but Clarke didn’t miss the note of mocking in his voice.

‘For what purpose?’

‘I can think of a hundred reasons,’ Clarke told Lexa.

‘Clarke, come on,’ Murphy said, impatient. ‘You think people came all the way to the Azgeda border, to hide up the mountain to make us think it was Ice Nation taking people?’

‘I don’t think they came _to_ Azgeda,’ Clarke replied.

‘Then where?’ Murphy asked, half shouting, half laughing but it was Lexa who replied in barely more than a whisper.

‘They came from the Mountain.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! All comments appreciated, although if I am slow to reply it's just because I'm super busy at the moment but I do love getting feedback :)


	160. Always The Same

 ‘What do you mean they came from the mountain?’ Murphy asked, confused.

‘They were hiding underneath Azgeda this whole time,’ Clarke said.

‘Who?’

‘Don’t you think it’s strange that only one mountain survived? That only one civilisation could remain throughout all of the fallout?’ Clarke asked.

‘If there were more Mountain Men we would know. The last did not hide themselves. They needed our blood.’ Lexa said, looking strained at the prospect of another fight with a mountain.

‘They might not be like those,’ Clarke said, shaking her head.

It didn’t make sense.

‘It could just be a few Azgeda raiders, or a group that’s gone rogue,’ Murphy pointed out.

It was Lexa this time who shook her head.

‘We had been waiting.’

‘The bunker?’ Murphy questioned. ‘You think there’s more?’

‘You really don’t?’ Clarke asked sadly.

It had been all of their nightmare. Every time Clarke closed her eyes she felt as though she could be in that place with Lexa, Wick and Becca again faced with that choice. They could have wiped out every border in everyone’s mind. They all would have been connected. They’d left regret, bitterness and death behind. It was always going to catch up with them. Clarke knew it too well. She felt it herself. She saw it on Emerson.

‘Then why?’ Murphy asked. ‘Why take people?’

‘The people they took had low political value,’ Lexa said. ‘They couldn’t spill our secrets. If they needed blood, maybe they were there all along and had some deal with Mount Weather.’

Clarke fought a retort from forming at the mention of Mount Weather making deals.

‘Things weren’t exactly stable,’ Clarke agreed. ‘We could have missed it. But the Bunker didn’t need blood. Dante didn’t seem like someone who worked with others. He only cared about his people and their legacy. If they had allies, they’d have used them against us.’

Clarke avoided Lexa’s eyes. Dante had been able to use allies through brokering deals. It had how the mess had ever happened, but it all could have been avoided from getting that far if he had others to call upon earlier. Dante chose to wait for Lexa to come to him. He couldn’t have had any other option.

‘A network of bunkers sounds about right with our luck,’ Murphy muttered.

‘They could be making themselves known or they think we’d believe it was Azgeda,’ Clarke reasoned.

‘Can’t blame them for thinking we’re that clueless,’ Murphy said and Clarke had to admit that they hadn’t exactly entered the bunker with any grace or even a basic plan but that could give them an advantage, and Lexa nodded silently, knowing they were thinking the same.

‘I have to go to Azgeda,’ Lexa said, to Murphy’s clear surprise.

‘Why?’

‘It was going to be my next step. Clarke can stay here. As a commander, Clarke can oversee our next move. The trip won’t take me longer than a week and I can let Azgeda know our suspicious. There may be a game to play, to make sure that the hiders are convinced we suspect one of our own clans.’

‘What is our next move?’ Murphy said slowly.

‘To prepare for war,’ Lexa stated calmly.

‘There’s only a couple of people missing!’ Murphy protested, alarmed.

‘A few more than that,’ Clarke retorted.

‘We don’t know anything yet!’

‘Azgeda will give us answers. I’ll find out if it is them. If it isn’t, then we all must be prepared,’ Lexa responded smoothly.

‘Azgeda could kill you,’ Murphy spat.

‘Which is why my Flamekeeper shall be travelling with me,’ Lexa replied.

Murphy looked as though he regretted ever coming back.

‘Murphy,’ Clarke said, trying to summon some patience, ‘the last mountain had a missile system.’

‘Then why didn’t we just kill everyone in the bunker?’ Murphy shouted.

‘Who do you think I am?’ Lexa asked. ‘Murphy, try to keep some composure.’

‘We need to plan,’ Clarke said. ‘At the very least, we need to be able to threaten them right back.’

‘Because arms races always have a high success rate,’ Murphy bit. ‘Why are you so calm?’

Clarke rolled her eyes.

‘We really had been waiting for this.’

‘And planned for it?’ Murphy asked shrewdly. ‘What is the cure?’

‘Nothing to do with this,’ Lexa said firmly so that Murphy wouldn’t protest, although he looked mutinous.

Clarke felt an old weariness engulf her. This had been their choice, after all and now they had to face it. Some already were after being taken. Clarke wondered if they had been forced to synchronise or worse. If it was the people of the bunker, then their weapon was their unity. They acted as one. She and Lexa could barely get the clans to work together for long.

‘There’s more to this,’ Murphy said. ‘They didn’t want destruction before. They were pissed, yeah, but not to wage a war.’

‘We don’t know if they are involved yet or if there are others,’ Lexa said, and Clarke nodded.

Lexa had no choice but to go now. If Murphy had been spotted too, they would inspect some dialogue with Azgeda. Splitting up and making their eyes focus on the mountain may give them some time to prepare at Polis and find out more information. Raven was good, but they could hardly build their own weapons system immediately. The Trikru and Azgeda armies still had not recovered from the last battle.

Clarke’s knew her unease wasn’t at the prospect of war, but how unlikely it felt. The bunker people could have so much more on their side to fear. There was so much unknown.  

Murphy made a noise of irritation in the back of his throat which broke the heavy silence.

‘Go rest,’ Lexa told him. ‘We leave in the morning.’

* * *

 

The flickering of the fluorescent light overhead made Harper wake with a start. Miller’s head jerked awake at her movement and he looked down at her as she lay on the hammock with concern. The dropship these days reminded her of when everyone had the virus and couldn’t stop coughing blood. It was always so full of people needing help.

‘I feel fine,’ Harper sighed, in an almost bored voice. ‘Where’s my daughter?’

‘Bryan,’ Miller said, with a small smile. ‘It took him about fifteen different songs until Luci got to sleep.’

Harper managed her own small smile, just for an instant.

‘What finally worked?’ She asked.

‘I think it was some drunk song Jasper made up once,’ Miller answered, chuckling. ‘Appropriate for Unity Day.’

Harper groaned. The idea of Bryan singing ‘the Atom’s and O’s’ wasn’t exactly a comforting thought.

‘How’s your arm?’ Miller asked, looking at the stump that had a loose bandage over it. ‘Do you what me to get Jackson?’

Harper shook her head. She had enough of doctors and healers. This wouldn’t be the last time she’d need treatment on her stump. Her prosthetic rubbed and the flap annoyed her often. Jackson checked on her regularly but he had warned her that out here he might need to perform surgery on it regularly or try and treat it with Grounder medicine as best as he could. There would always be a risk of infection afterward, and there was always pain.

She felt a twinge of guilt as she recognised her relief at now having to deal with the crying of her own child in this moment. She was just too drained. Every day was about someone else now. She just needed this evening to be for her, so she could just lie back and feel lousy and have Miller look concerned.

‘It’s harder without him than I even thought it would be,’ Harper said, her voice wavering but only slightly.

‘I know.’

* * *

 

Murphy thudded his way to where Raven and Zoran would be sleepy and made his way into the stone room, glad to close the door on the world.

‘And where the hell have you been?’

Murphy flinched at Raven’s tone.

‘Will I ever get even a minute’s sleep?’ Zoran wailed, staring up at the tarp.

Murphy grimaced at his lack of loyalty. Usually Zoran would jump in and defend whoever had screwed up – and Murphy was proud to admit that most times, it wasn’t actually him.

Raven sat up and threw Zoran an eye roll before staring back at Murphy who slumped on the floor.

‘You look a mess.’

‘Thank you,’ Murphy said quietly.

‘What’s happened?’ Raven asked, softer.

‘I have to travel to Ice Nation with Lexa for a week and Clarke wants you to stay here and work with her on plans to be able to build our own missile system.’

Raven looked incredulous.

‘They just think you’re a genius,’ Murphy pointed out, hoping she would see the compliment.

‘I am,’ Raven emphasised. ‘But a day off from their schemes would be nice.’

‘Clarke said to remind you spent your day off complaining.’

Raven pulled her pillow out from underneath her and her sleeping bag and threw it at Murphy who caught it easily.

‘Just the messenger,’ Murphy dismissed casually.

‘Do I even want to know?’ Raven asked. ‘Or is it the same as always?’

‘That’s just it,’ Murphy said sardonically. ‘It’s supposed to be the same as always.’

* * *

 

Octavia lay on her side, the candles lighting the cave and showing Echo finally home.

‘So, what took you so long?’ Octavia asked, lightly. ‘Raiders slow you down?’

Echo turned to Octavia, her eyes hard.

‘There are no raiders. It wasn’t Azgeda who took them.’  

Octavia stifled a yawn and rubbed her eyes. She’d done the best she could to avoid any mention of Unity Day and that meant long and never ending hunting parties. She even persisted as it started to get dark but quickly lost motivation and made her way back to the cave.

‘What did you do to Murphy?’ Octavia asked, curious.

‘Don’t worry, I didn’t hurt one of Skaikru.’

Octavia snorted.

‘That’s not why I care.’

‘Then because he is close to Clarke?’ Echo asked, but Octavia frowned.

‘He’s my friend.’

‘The hundred matters more than Skaikru?’ Echo asked while Octavia rolled on her back and tilted her head to look at Echo.

‘There are no groups now.’

‘And yet you’re so ready to blame Azgeda,’ Echo spat, still resentful.

‘I’m ready for Azgeda to prove me wrong,’ Octavia replied, rolling over and turning her back to Echo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know it's set up for war but don't worry, I'm not going to murder everyone off in a big battle in a rush of chapters. There is more to it as hinted, but war chat is fun. There's going to be a lot of different elements to this. I will say that it's not a straight life/death fight (and bar the war it's never really been that binary). 
> 
> There might be other new explored groups too. If space though you won't be seeing Arkers because just to me, if space becomes a factor the Ark has nothing left after reentry and any shell in space isn't enough. I like the show concept of going back up to live in space (especially for the grounders who hadn't yet) but I won't be exploring space in that way! 
> 
> One thing that will be explored too is their relationships and new characters. New characters are always a risk with fics because some people just want to see a different version of the canon show. Hopefully you guys will enjoy them. They're going to be a bit more substantial hopefully than some of the people I've offered before (although there will be some returning original characters from past series too). There are going to be more queer/GRSD characters too. I'll always say in the notes too because hopefully it comes across in my writing through actions and dialogue but this is a world where labels don't really get used so I'll use this note section just to confirm. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	161. The Nuclear Question

Murphy blinked rapidly, trying to wake himself up so he didn’t fall off his horse. The only positive was that it was so cold, he didn’t think it would be possible to fall totally asleep. He didn’t know how Raven managed to be awake even earlier than he was. She was already heading out to meet Clarke as he was waking up.

‘I’m sorry you couldn’t spend more time with Raven,’ Lexa said, and not for the first time, Murphy was left wondering whether Lexa could read into his thoughts.

Murphy glanced across at the Commander. She was wearing her red travelling shawl with her armour. The mark of the Commander Lexa had long since taken from her head. It had been there previously so it was easily recognisable but with Clarke becoming Commander too, they each wore the mark on their keft shoulder. Lexa looked as at ease as ever. He and Lexa were at the head of the group. Lexa looked alert. She didn’t seem at all exhausted, Murphy noted bitterly.

‘It was enough,’ Murphy said. ‘I’ll see her when we get back. If Azgeda don’t kick us off the mountain, that is.’

Lexa gave a small smile.

‘You believe Azgeda is responsible?’

‘They better be. We can kick their ass with all the clans behind us.’

Lexa nodded.

The trees were starting to thin as more of the path turned to stone and the road began to tilt upwards slightly. They’d be travelling for hours already but they wouldn’t have to go far up the mountain. Azgeda had many meeting points and were keen to keep the Commander away from the summit, except when wanting to test Lexa as it was a difficult and bitter journey which Azgeda relished watching. Lexa’s authority though was such that she could summon them to one of the earlier temples. They’d only have to travel roughly a fifth of the way up the jagged mountain. They’d be below even where Farm Station originally crashed.

‘Then we should begin your training,’ Lexa said and Murphy glanced at her, taken aback.

‘What training?’ Murphy asked with dread.

‘Fighting,’ Lexa said simply.

‘You know these guys behind us? Your guard? Aren’t they supposed to do the fighting?’

‘I have vast armies, Murphy,’ Lexa reminded him, ‘but the Flamekeeper’s job is to guard the life of the Commanders.’

Murphy scowled.

‘Your fighting during the Battle for Polis suggests you still have much to learn.’

Murphy’s eyes narrowed but he saw the flicker of a smile form on Lexa’s mouth.

‘Really hilarious, Commander,’ he replied. ‘I was keeping up with Clarke.’

‘You were both too used to relying on guns,’ Lexa replied.

‘ _Were?_ ’ Murphy questioned.

‘Clarke has been training.’

‘Of course, she has,’ Murphy muttered; Clarke didn’t know how to enjoy peace.

‘There may soon be more people for you to watch over,’ Lexa said, her face serious now.

‘Why?’ Murphy asked.

He was not looking forward to the prospect of having to babysit anyone. Him, Clarke and Lexa did just fine back in Polis. The ambassador meetings were tiresome enough without any more input from fools who thought they knew better.

‘It has been over two years since Ontari slaughtered the Nightbloods,’ Lexa explained. ‘More may come forward. There are always some parents who hide their children so they don’t get taken away from Polis.’

‘I thought villages tested each kid?’ Murphy asked, repulsed at the thought of them cutting a baby’s hand open just to plan to take their child away from their family.

‘They do,’ Lexa confirmed. ‘But some hide. It’s difficult for any Flamekeeper to enforce. With the threat of Ontari, Azgeda and Black Rain, if you had a child would you want it to take on the life of a commander?’

Murphy snorted. He didn’t mind working with the Commanders but nobody could pay him to take on either of the positions himself. Lexa had been shot, now there were two commanders and not just one as well as a second Flame that people could barely comprehend. The legend was that the spirit of the past commanders had chosen the commander. ALIE had broken some of their faith in the old system.

There were still loyalists though. Indra had revealed her daughter, Gaia, had fled her family to devote herself to faith. Yet, Gaia’s movement did not accept Clarke or the alterations to the chain of command. They didn’t believe the Flame could or should be altered with, even if that had been the desire of the first Commander. With all of the past problems around the Flame, and current tensions there would be few parents who would offer their child to the service of the clans. Even villagers were reluctant to see a Nightblood come from their own community. It was once a source of pride, but now it was of fear and anxiety.

There was still the question of Luna. Luna had helped the clans work together to rebuild after the war, and she had played a role in keeping the peace while they travelled to the bunker. Luna was back to being her old agenda of peace before anything else though. She wanted an end to the borders, and regularly walked through the clans as though she had no people of her own depending upon her. Floukru always awaited her with reverence. She made no challenge to the Flame but Murphy recognised the unspoken threat of her popularity. Even Zoran was taken with her.

‘I can’t raise them to be slaughtered,’ Murphy said finally.

‘You won’t have to,’ Lexa promised. ‘ _Jus no drein jus daun_.’

‘Can’t you choose who gets it now?’ Murphy asked. ‘Is that the point?’

‘There needs to be one Nightblood. But my spirit will still choose who takes my place.’

* * *

 

‘They’ve left,’ Bryan said loudly.

Miller jumped up from his seat and waved his arms at Bryan to be quiet. Luci had just gotten to sleep after a restless night without her mother. Harper wasn’t going to be released for another couple of hours and Miller couldn’t take anymore crying.

‘I knew they’d go back,’ Bryan said, in an agitated whisper.

‘The Commanders were only here for Unity Day,’ Miller said.

‘And they ran off straight after.’

Miller snorted at the idea of Lexa running anywhere.

‘I bet someone else went missing,’ Bryan said. ‘We knew they’d do it again.’

‘We don’t know that it’s Ice Nation,’ Miller reasoned.

‘ _I_ know,’ Bryan replied, vehement.

* * *

 

Clarke collapsed on the sofa in hers and Lexa’s room, while Raven took the small chair and frowned.

‘If this is the Bunker People then this is all over,’ Raven said, and Clarke raised her eyebrows. ‘I can’t stop nuclear missiles, Clarke. I can’t build nuclear missiles either.’

‘They don’t have to be nuclear,’ Clarke said, stretching out. 

Raven shot Clarke a look of deep resentment.

‘I can’t make any missiles.’

Clarke looked at her with mild disbelief and Raven relented.

‘I can maybe make one system but that’s not enough against a nuclear system,’ Raven complained. ‘I should have destroyed it when I had the chance.’

Clarke looked at Raven full of sympathy.

‘We couldn’t have wiped them out,’ Clarke insisted. ‘We don’t know what’s going on. If they wanted us dead then they could have just done it.’

‘Not if they wiped themselves out,’ Raven said. ‘They couldn’t drop a nuclear missile if it would catch their own people in the blast.’

‘They couldn’t if they were already here…’ Clarke said slowly, horrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks if you are still reading this thing! So a couple of things - I wanted to work Gaia into the story as I always intended on exploring the resentment from Flame followers about Clarke's new position. Also, I wanted to use the two commanders as an opportunity to remove the commander's badge to a different place and as part of armour as it did get a lot of attention about potentially being culturally appropriative in the show.


	162. The New Azgeda

Lexa waited in the old throne room of Azgeda’s smaller palace. It would have been easy to miss if viewed from a distance. The building was carved into the mountain. The outside statues of Azgeda’s sign were covered with ice and snow which made them almost indistinguishable except up close.

Inside the palace, the building was made of dark stone. The roof was jagged as it was formed from the mountain too. The last palace had caved in over a decade ago but Azgeda adored the power, as though they could wield nature itself.

There were tall black torches which were lit along the room, offering little warmth but great light. Lexa was glad to be of Trikru. The forests enchanted her. Azgeda life felt harsh and seemed bare in comparison.

The great oak doors behind her swung open and in filed the seven current protectors of Azgeda. They were made up of four women and three men. The one who acted as lead (although unofficially) was Lanta. She was shorted than the rest with dark skin and short braids. Her voice was clipped when she spoke, but she rarely sounded unkind. She won respect because she just wanted to get on. Not everyone followed her, so many fights had broken out because of people with their own ambitions but Lanta was the one who was listened to the most, and the one people were scared to disappoint.

Lexa watched the guards as they closed the doors again.

‘Welcome, Heda,’ Ret, the eldest man, said.

‘As I know you are all aware, people from the clans of Trikru and Skaikru have been disappearing along the Azgeda border,’ Lexa started. ‘I am here to address the situation.’

‘It was not Azgeda,’ Ret said, his face turning red.

‘We cannot be sure of that,’ Lanta intervened before Lexa could say another word.

‘I’m not here to accuse Azgeda, I assure you,’ Lexa said carefully. ‘The stability of Azgeda is the most important task we all face. It was for the sake of all clans that we must have a strong Azgeda. I just need to know what happened.’

Lexa meant it. She didn’t want a weakened Azgeda. Within the icy boundaries were some of the best fighters, and the mountains themselves offered much through their minerals and materials. Lexa wanted the clans united, working together to maximise all that they had. Azgeda was weak, but its ego was more bruised. The defeat at the hands of Trikru, Skaikru and even Broadleaf had cost its pride. Lexa didn’t want to see the lengths to which Azgeda would go to win back that pride.

‘We cannot account for all of our people,’ Lanta said. ‘The death of the last hopeful monarch angered people, but they are mostly bored. They want purpose again. They want something to do. Half of them have lost their sense of self. They’re a disgrace.’

‘They’re our people-’ Ret started but Lanta cut him off.

‘-Who spend all day drunk and looking for trouble,’ Lanta finished. ‘We’ve had no reports of more raiders, Heda but we cannot say categorically that some of our people aren’t taking them.’

Lexa nodded slowly.

‘You will investigate?’

‘Yes,’ Lanta said, glaring at the others who stirred at the question.

Lexa hesitated. Azgeda could be holding back their hand. She had no way to know for sure, but if someone was framing them then they deserved to know. Azgeda would be the ones to suffer most.

‘There are enemies across the shore,’ Lexa started, ‘and they may have decided to act now. The likelihood is that someone – or some people – within Azgeda are responsible, but there is a chance there are others trying to cause trouble although we don’t know to what end.

‘You must carry out your investigations but don’t let anyone find out it may be the work of others. If we are right, then the less they know about our suspicions the better.’

‘We had one go missing too!’

The youngest woman shouted and drew everyone’s attention. She had long red hair that was matted. She looked fearful under Ret’s hard eyes.

‘He returned. None of Azgeda would be taken,’ Ret said, with a note of belligerent pride which Lexa ignored.

‘He went missing along the foot of the mountain?’ Lexa asked, tilting her head slightly.

 ‘He did return though, Heda,’ Lanta said.

‘Where is he now?’ Lexa questioned firmly.

‘He left home. We’re not sure where he is in our lands. He was different…’

‘Isa knew the boy,’ Lanta said, as Isa tailed off and looked sheepish. ‘The boy grew up in her village. She was supposed to bring him to us but he left.’

‘To go where?’ Lexa asked Isa directly, but she looked mortified that he had gone and left her to answer for him.

‘I don’t know. He said he didn’t believe in the clans – that the Flame was the old way, the Flames,’ Isa quickly corrected. ‘He didn’t make sense. He just went.’

 Lexa flexed her hand for a mere instant in annoyance. She had a feeling she would be made aware of what new ways this boy wanted before the end of this mystery.

* * *

 

Murphy shivered in his corner, next to the doors of the mountain. A blonde guard laughed at him as she walked over.

‘You’re the Flamekeeper, you can go in.’

‘Lexa didn’t want my smart mouth pissing them off,’ Murphy muttered.

‘There are other rooms.’

‘I’d rather stay near the exit,’ Murphy replied.

The woman laughed again. It was a harsh laugh that reminded Murphy too much of the guards on the Ark.

‘My sister was right about you –Echo,’ the woman confirmed when Murphy looked curious, but his eyes quickly flashed in annoyance at Echp’s name. ‘I’m Emi.’

‘She said nothing of you.’

Emi raised her eyebrows.

‘She said you were a rat.’

Murphy smirked.

‘They are the first off anything that is sinking. They’re my inspiration,’ Murphy drawled.

‘Because nobody would want to die with them,’ Emi pointed out.

‘Good. Dying is for losers.’

Emi made a scathing noise in the back of her throat and moved back to her post. Murphy let out an annoyed breath and felt his teeth chatter. He felt deep into his pockets and was comforted by the radio. He was going to annoy the life out of Clarke for missing out on this. If he had to suffer, he’d make her suffer. Of all the things Lexa had made him do, this was the worst. He hated Azgeda.

* * *

 

‘They will be there by now if they have gone to Azgeda,’ Echo said as she washed her clothes in the small lake not from the cave while Octavia sparred with an invisible partner near her. ‘Then they will get the truth.’

Octavia finally stopped and took a deep breath, holding her side. Echo smirked.

‘The Azgeda army couldn’t take you out but ten minutes of practice-’

‘Be quiet,’ Octavia snapped and Echo’s smirk widened as she splashed water at Octavia who jumped back from the bank.

‘Even in this state, I could take you,’ Octavia warned.

‘No chance,’ Echo smiled. ‘Emi better not kill Murphy. I only just threatened his life.’

‘Why does she still hate Skaikru?’ Octavia asked.

‘She wants an Azgeda Commander,’ Echo shrugged. ‘Skaikru made Lexa stronger.’

‘Clarke made Lexa stronger,’ Octavia emphasised.

‘And Murphy doesn’t exactly honour tradition.’

‘Yeah but Lexa is probably the only Grounder than Murphy is loyal to,’ Octavia defended. ‘Do you want an Azgeda commander?’

Echo laughed at the thought.

‘We’ve caused enough shame. Clarke and Lexa are good leaders. Azgeda will respect that now.’

‘Not if your sister is anything to go by…’

* * *

 

Zoran waited in the branches of his favourite tree on the outskirts of Metropolis. Raven had been annoyed he hadn’t wanted to come straight back to Polis but Zoran didn’t like the capital much. People stared at his face. He still wasn’t accepted.

Here, he didn’t have to cover his face but there were enough of Skaikru to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn’t stray outside of the border. It was the only reason Raven allowed him to stay. He didn’t blame Raven for worrying when she had been carried right out of the gates of Azgeda, He had no desire to go exploring. He just didn’t want people to stare at him or get involved in whatever Raven was planning. He would make more radios and help with engineering, but whenever talk of weapons came up she knew that he would leave.

The sky that poked out between the branches was already orange. It got dark so early now. He missed the summer. He still wasn’t used to the cooler weather that the mornings and nights of the forest brought.

There was a loud crack as a twig broke in the distance. There was the growing rustle of leaves and within minutes, Luna and several followers were with her. He smiled wildly at seeing her and jumped down from the tree.

‘Hello Zoran,’ she said softly.

‘I knew you’d come back here before going to Floukru,’ Zoran said happily.

‘I wanted to check if Jackson needed anything else,’ Luna smiled. ‘Are Lexa and Clarke here?’

‘No,’ Zoran said with regret. ‘Lexa went to Azgeda with Murphy and Clarke and Raven are in Polis.’

‘I see,’ Luna said and she started walking through the forest towards the heart of Metropolis, with Zoran following. ‘Are they trying to find out what is behind the disappearances?’

‘I think so,’ Zoran said and Luna simply offered a small hum.

‘You did not wish to go back to Polis with Raven?’ Luna asked, curious.

‘No…’

‘Because of what people say?’ Luna asked.

Zoran didn’t answer.

‘People are ignorant. They’re scared of the legacy of the weapons that destroyed our world. They see it on your face. You still survived-’

‘They wanted to leave me to die,’ Zoran said hotly, remembering how his parents had to give up everything to keep him.

‘They fear that too,’ Luna said simply. ‘No matter what you do you walk among them as their equal. You are not damaged. They are weak and selfish.’

‘They think I’m like that King,’ Zoran said, anger rising.

‘Soal doesn’t represent you any more than he truly represented Azgeda. Bullies used him. That war was not brought only by him. It was caused by all of us in some way.’

‘Lexa and Clarke have made things better now at least,’ Zoran said.

Lexa had worked hard to try to overturn the culture of the different clans. Villages were banned from turning away anyone with radiation marks.

‘It was a change long due,’ Luna commented and Zoran fell quiet again.

The trees started to open up and they made their way into Metropolis.

‘How it should have been all along,’ Luna remarked as they made their way by the first buildings and she looked pleased at the city that had sprung from forest. ‘Zoran, do you know how to build better radios, like the station at Polis?’

‘Yes, Raven trained me,’ Zoran said, pride swelling.

‘If Raven can spare you it would be nice for Floukru’s system to be looked at. I know Heda Lexa wants our clan to have closer ties.’

Zoran couldn’t believe he was being invited to Floukru. He had been filled with curiosity about the clan. It was a place where those abandoned could come together. Floukru had even taken in people during the battles. He’d wanted to stay with Raven but he had never really been by the sea.

‘I’ll ask,’ Zoran said, delighted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Hope you're all good! Don't worry, I promise when Lexa leaves Azgeda she will get some proper time with Clarke.


	163. The Following

Clarke picked at her food. She dropped her fork with a quiet clatter and pushed her plate slightly from her, the small making her feel queasy. She couldn’t settle in Polis without Lexa. It just never felt right.

She hardly ventured out when Lexa wasn’t in the city. She still felt the eyes of the Grounders on her, as the new commander. She understood why; Skaikru kept throwing out all of their old traditions. She missed her hood and feeling like a secret among the city. She could travel as she liked then. Since her return though, everyone was waiting to see what she would do next. It had not helped when she had ventured out to have Nigel yell at her demanding she be allowed to trade again. The entire market went quiet and stared at Clarke as she marched away from Nigel, clenching her fists. Life in Polis was less free for her than before.

Lexa’s radio call the night before had not calmed Clarke’s nerves over what was going on either. Murphy was convinced Azgeda were lying but Lexa sincerely believed there was more to it. Lexa’s instincts were usually right. Murphy had grown weary of fighting, and now they were all installed in power he wanted to quash any troubles as easily as possible. Some things were never supposed to be simple though.

‘Had enough?’ The new guard, Loak, asked.

‘I’d say so,’ Clarke sighed, slumping back in her chair and thinking about more than the meal in front of her.

Loak smiled at her and Clarke was taken by how kind his expression was. The guards usually did not invite conversation. Titus had run a tight ship. The Grounders were entrenched in their traditions sometimes.

‘Do you enjoy being part of the Commanders’ guard, Loak?’ Clarke asked.

Loak looked thoughtful for a second. He was unlike the other guards and seemed unperturbed by how things were supposed to be done. He was far more concerned with how Lexa and Clarke wanted things to actually be carried out. Loak’s skin was slightly darker than Lincoln’s, but he was the same height. Clarke knew that they had grown up together in TonDC and trained as warriors together. Loak’s hair around the sides was shaved and there was only a trace of dark hair, but on top was a mass of white tumbles. His arms were strong and covered in tattoos to honour Trikru, Heda, the Coalition and TonDC. He’d also had his leg amputated after it had been badly injured after the fall of the tower. Underneath his guard’s outfit Clarke knew was a prosthetic that Raven herself had designed.

‘Yes, but it’s only been a couple of weeks,’ Loak said.

‘Do you miss home?’

Loak shook his head.

‘They’ve rebuilt it now and I was bored. I wanted to serve Heda. I felt too far away,’ he explained, before he hesitated. ‘Everyone in Trikru supports you. None of us have doubts. Not after the Mountain.’

Clarke smiled wryly. She wasn’t quite sure how much she believed that. Not after the destruction of Pike. If she had learnt anything it was that some people never forget, and never forgave.

‘They trust you therefore they trust Skaikru,’ Loak said, and Clarke realised he had watched her disbelief.

‘And what do you believe?’ Clarke asked.

‘Two hedas are better than one,’ Loak said and Clarke wondered if he was joking but he seemed too earnest. ‘We’re supposed to move forward. Lexa was the one who created the Coalition in the first place. You and her delivered _jus no drein jus daun_. We have to keep moving forward.’

‘I wish it was that easy,’ Clarke murmured.

‘If it was easy, it wouldn’t be progress.’

Clarke nodded and laughed slightly.

‘Yeah. I guess you have a point.’

It was through struggled that they had delivered change.

* * *

 

‘Zoran came back,’ Raven said, lying on her back on her bed in Polis, with the radio in her hand.

‘Didn’t think he’d get bored that soon,’ Murphy’s voice replied through the radio.

‘He wanted to go to Floukru to work on their radio,’ Raven explained.

‘Is he going?’

‘I need him here,’ Raven said. ‘You know how much we’re going to have on and I checked that system myself a month ago. It’s fine. It doesn’t need an upgrade. I’m sick of Luna’s demands. She’s a Nightblood. She’s not a Commander.’

Raven was indignant at Zoran’s request. Luna was just annoyed that she hadn’t gone out before. She could have any of the engineers check it. They were all in training, including several from Floukru as Luna wanted them to be able to contribute and develop their own skills with engineering and technology. Yet it never stopped Luna from trying to summon Skaikru or Trikru every minute of the day no matter where she was within the clans.

‘I think he has a crush,’ Murphy said and Raven made a noise of disgust.

‘Not everyone can be as independent as you,’ Murphy said, with a trace of teasing in his voice.

‘Weaklings,’ Raven said, sarcastic.

‘I wish he had better taste though,’ Murphy said. ‘Luna causes us nothing but problems.’

‘She might not want to be commander but she acts like she already is,’ Raven agreed.

‘Talking of superiority complexes, it turns out Echo is the nice one of her family.’

Raven rolled on her side and gave her radio a quizzical look.

‘Really?’

‘Her sister looks ready to wage war all on her own,’ Murphy said.

Raven smiled, if only because she could imagine how that would go down with Octavia.

‘How are they being there?’

There was a moment’s pause before Murphy spoke.

‘They’re being fine,’ Murphy said, although he sounded annoyed that they hadn’t given him more reason to complain. ‘Lexa was right though, the weather is getting worse. The trip down will take twice as long.’

‘At least it gets you out of playing Flamekeeper…’ Raven suggested.

Murphy laughed bitterly.

‘If the sky fell in Lexa would still have be out there trying to convince Azgeda we’re not monsters.’

Raven frowned slightly.

‘I know Lexa is an idealist, but there's an Azgeda snowflake's chance in hell that would happen.’

‘I really wish Clarke hadn’t convinced her we could all be better people,’ Murphy admitted.

* * *

 

‘Murphy is still complaining,’ Lexa sighed through the radio.

She knew Murphy was in the next room talking with Raven. He hadn’t seemed thrilled at the prospect of needing to mentor Nightbloods but it was vital. Black blood mattered to the connection less. She knew with Raven they could manipulate the Flame; it had been what Becca wanted as well as Wick. But there still had to be a process. Her people weren’t quite ready to throw out the legend, and the Nightbloods would always be a symbol of power. They could be used if weapons if Lexa didn’t try to offer them some protection. 

Her room was lit by several fires, for there were no windows. They were deep into the mountain now. Her quarters felt oppressive because of the darkness that was consistently threatening to engulf the palace. Lexa couldn’t wait to set off again, and to be under the sky and among the green of the forest.

‘It’s why we have him,’ Clarke consoled. ‘We need someone who is prepared for the worst.’

Given some of Murphy’s more audacious plans, this thought did not provide as much comfort as Clarke had likely intended.

‘He’s just worried,’ Clarke said. ‘He doesn’t like feeling like everything could fall apart. He’s good when it’s already a mess.’

Murphy was strange in that way. Most people were the opposite. He and Clarke had a lot more in common than either would admit, Lexa thought.

‘I miss you,’ Lexa told Clarke.

‘You’re never really gone,’ Clarke reminded her, and Lexa could tell she was smiling.

‘In peace may you leave the shore…’ Lexa teased softly, closing her eyes.

* * *

 

Gaia walked down into the passageway, the steps leading from the earth into a small shelter, where several of the Followers of the Flame were waiting. She pulled down her hood to greet her friends.

‘Is it true?’ Nove asked.

Nove had been with her from the beginning. They were the first person that Gaia had come across who had ever revered the Flame as much. Most feared its authority, but Gaia devoted herself to protecting it at all costs.

‘Yes,’ Gaia answered, ‘I saw the true Commander leaving for Azgeda. Clarke stayed behind. The word is she has returned to Polis.’

‘They’re almost never apart,’ Nove muttered.

‘They are now,’ Gaia replied. ‘It wouldn’t be the first time that Azgeda had driven a wedge between them.’

Nove nodded, angry.

‘There cannot be two. We recognise one Flame.’

‘And so will our people,’ Gaia promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for any comments and kudos :) Just to confirm, Loak is asexual.


	164. Here Before

The capital had been rebuilt, but there were no towering buildings any longer. What was called ‘the tower’ was still bigger than the rest of the buildings of the city, but it wasn’t even a third of the height. Much of the design looked the same - to the protests of some of Skaikru who had wanted to make some of Polis theirs but Clarke and Lexa wouldn’t allow it. The tower was wider, and still round. Clarke and Lexa’s quarters looked almost the same. There were a handful more guards as Lexa demanded greater protection for Wanheda, the new joint commander. Besides the tower, Raven’s hub was made of metal which made it stand out against the golden stone of Polis. It suited Clarke for it to be close at hand though, and with guards close it was secure. Raven was happy to work here, especially as it meant that she didn’t have to listen to Luci’s crying in this city. She missed Monty but, damn, his kid could cry.

Zoran traipsed into Raven’s new engineering and technology hub in Polis, looking weary and impatient.

‘Yes?’ Zoran asked, clearly grumpy that Raven had screamed into the radio until Zoran woke up and dragged himself here.

‘About time,’ Raven said, carefully putting back one of the chemical jars in its rightful place, and brushing some hair out of her face with her protective orange glove. ‘Clarke’s going to have a meeting with the other leaders and Indra so we need to plan out our next move and what we can actually do to make sure we don’t get blown to hell.’

Zoran made a non-committal noise.

‘Every clan can communicate and Miller came up with the flares for if ever a village is in trouble and can’t leave so I think we’re good on communication,’ Raven said, not wanting to have to listen any new requests Luna might have. ‘You can help me though. We need to make current weapons stronger, and either design a missile or something that can shield us from it. The shield will be impossible. It’s a nuclear. With this limited technology, we can’t do anything to divert it. I’m good but I can’t make the materials I need. I don’t even think I could if I had all of the Ark’s capabilities. So, we need to make sure using it is never an option so-’

Raven stopped midsentence and looked back at Zoran who had crossed his arms and was wearing a mutinous expression.

‘What’s the problem?’ Raven said, losing patience.

She did not have time for this particular worker to revolt.

‘Do you even know what you’re saying?’ Zoran asked.

‘Of course, I do,’ Raven scoffed; ‘you’re not talking to Bryan.’

Zoran continued to stare at Raven, standing stock still with his arms locked against his chest.

‘You’re talking about bombs,’ Zoran said. ‘About wiping people out.’

Raven shook her head.

‘Only if they make us. We just need something that makes them think twice.’

Zoran didn’t look anymore appeased by this announcement. Raven had her own reservations. They didn’t even know if this was something to get worked up over yet. Yet, they’d always been caught off-guard before. They rarely had a chance to plan. Against the Mountain Men, they’d been chasing themselves from day one. It was their punishment for ever assuming they only had Trikru to worry about and that there wasn’t someone else preying on them both. Whether this new threat was Azgeda or the Bunker people, they needed something to try to end the threat of war before it fully began. They had already lost so many. At this rate, there would be no-one left. The cycle of violence had to end for good, Lexa and Clarke had both been right about that. They’d managed it for a year. Raven would make sure it would go on for longer than that.  

‘And this is Clarke’s plan?’ Zoran asked.

‘She just wants to know if it’s possible,’ Raven dismissed; but then, Clarke had a way of demanding that the impossible was made reality.  

They’d be so focused on developing their infrastructure. They’d designed new plumbing facilities and new communication stations. All of the clans were in contact with each other. It had been a huge achievement and had helped bring stability. They had built for peace. The day after the war, they didn’t expect to need to rebuild their army and they hadn’t planned on changing tactics ever since. The clans all knew their own strength and trusted in their allies. Lexa wanted to go forward in hope. Raven was terrified it was going to screw them now.

‘You don’t even know what’s going on,’ Zoran pointed out.

‘By the time we find out we could be dead,’ Raven retorted, impatient. ‘Are you going to help or not?’

‘I’m not,’ Zoran said, his arms still folded. ‘It’s not right. Clarke and Lexa said they were making things better. That we’d have a new way. That there would be an end to wars.’

‘And this is how we do it!’ Raven spat. ‘By making sure everybody knows they have too much to lose if they start a fight.’

‘Or we could trust ourselves. Find out what’s going on and speak to them first.’

Raven looked at Zoran staggered.

‘Things might have been different if Skaikru had done that to Trikru.’

‘Yeah,’ Raven responded, her temper rising, ‘they were really up for talking – that’s why my friend got a spear through the chest,’

‘They were wrong and they panicked. They didn’t want you to cross the boundary. If they had spoken look how different things would be!’ Zoran pleaded with Raven to see reason.

‘They’re taking people.’ Raven said finally. ‘I’ve been here before. They don’t want to listen.’

She was still haunted by the fear she had every day her friends were missing in Mount Weather. She could still hear the sound of the drill as though she was strapped to that table now. She shuddered at the memory, and looked at Zoran, disappointed.

‘Clarke can do better than this,’ Zoran retorted, slowly, shaking his head.

Raven ripped off her gloves, throwing them on the bench.

'Clarke saved you!'

'Yes,' Zoran, snapped at Raven, 'at the clinic. When she was a healer, not a leader.'

Raven looked around the busy engineering station. The grounders and Skaikru recruits were at work developing the solar panels, lost only to their tasks.

'She has always protected us.' Raven urged. 'So has Lexa.'

'Maybe it shouldn't be up them,' Zoran said, barely more than a whisper. 'The Flame was Becca's creation. Becca was the bringer of death. She brought the radiation.'

Raven looked at Zoran, lost as he threw his arms up, annoyed and stormed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thank you for any comments and kudos! I'm sorry this chapter has been slow - I've been busy celebrating my MA results and then I was (predictably) ill.


	165. Old Friends Die Hard

‘They have no idea what we all face,’ Kane snapped, running his hands through his hair and looking exhausted.

There was a dull pulsation in the distance and a whir of mechanics. Kane pulled his sleeves down slightly, as the cold pit into his skin.

‘We’re all done,’ Jasper said in a sing-song voice. ‘All of us washed up. One by one we all fell. We’re good for nothing.’

Monty looked at him angrily.

‘But we are here.’

‘There is no here…’ Finn dismissed quietly, to Jasper’s mirth.

‘See, we don’t even exist,’ Jasper mocked.

'We're here as long as the Flames support us,' Lincoln shouted; his patience at the constant quarrelling wearing thin.

It was surely Clarke who had made sure that Jasper had manifested, but now he had chosen to be of use. Lincoln wasn’t sure why Clarke had brought him here. She was good to her people, but not all of them deserved sentimentality. She had to start putting herself first, even if she wasn’t aware of what she was doing.

He was stood in what looked like an old engineering room, but in the middle of the floor there was a gap, where a young girl had been forced to hide many times.

Bellamy was stood next to it, as if guarding over it, and he was looking impatient.

'We're here as long as Clarke lets us,' he corrected, his voice calm.

'She doesn't know we're here,' Lincoln argued.

'Yes, my daughter does,' Abby interrupted before Bellamy could snap back. 'Deep down.'

'So, we're fighting again?' Finn asked, a note of hopelessness in his voice.

'We can't be killed,' Bellamy joked. 'So, there's nothing to worry about.'

'Yeah,' Finn agreed, clipped, 'or we can, and we end up in another Flame version of life.'

Bellamy swallowed, looking faintly nauseous.

'One life was really enough,' Lincoln muttered.

Being trapped in this holding pattern felt unbearable but they had to be here for a purpose. They knew they could ascend beyond this, so why hadn’t they?

Lincoln’s curiosity in the Ark had faded. The changing environments to suit Clarke and Lexa’s memories made life feel further away. At times, he was sure he could feel Octavia’s presence, as though Clarke or Lexa were close to her in their reality. The frustration was merciless.

‘If they’re turning people and releasing them then we already have less control than the others think,’ Kane observed.

‘It’s the tactic of the Mountain Men,’ Lincoln rued. ‘Twist people and then release them to cause havoc.’

His anger rose at the thought of it. Villages now may have them among him. Families could be sinking into despair right now. They had no right to take people’s choice like that.

‘But this isn’t with drugs,’ Abby remarked. ‘This is claiming them forever. There is no going back.’

‘This was supposed to be Clarke’s choice!’ Finn snapped, annoyed.

‘And Lexa’s…’ Jasper chimed in unhelpfully, as his sat on the floor and Finn’s face took on a dark expression; Lexa had been the one to order his execution.

‘Becca might have planned all along that they would accept the choice. It wouldn’t be the first time her intentions had gone wrong,’ Kane reasoned.

If it wasn’t for Lexa and then Clarke, Lincoln would have lost all faith in the system of the commanders. He had doubted Lexa at times, and he still resented her choice at Mount Weather but she was a strong leader to her people, and she had grown beyond the limits she had seen that came with her duty. Lexa had made the choice to be a better leader, and it was what they all needed. Becca was still now trying the same, but the choices she gave looked like folly.  

‘Now everyone else has to pay the price- again,’ Bellamy said.

‘We can still put up resistance,’ Kane argued. ‘We’re part of the seal. We act as defenders of the Flames and as defenders of the Commanders, at least in this realm. Trying to take over bodies isn’t going to be enough. We can resist.’

‘I’m a warrior,’ Lincoln pointed out. ‘None of us are Raven.’

‘We don’t need to be,’ Abby soothed. ‘My daughter and Lexa brought us here for a reason.’

‘They don’t even realise what they’re fighting,’ Monty said sadly.

‘I’m happy for them to wipe out Azgeda first,’ Jasper said, his eyes hungry for revenge. ‘Clarke and Octavia can handle it and wow, Bell, what a twist that they’re sisters. Did you know?’

Lincoln stepped forward and placed a hand on Bellamy’s shoulder, holding his friend in place.

‘Leave it,’ Lincoln urged quietly, ‘he’s just upset Azgeda might not fall.’

‘They deserve it,’ Jasper said.

‘I was there Jasper,’ Monty cut across sharply. ‘They lost people-’

‘-and Harper lost her arm,’ Jasper finished, looking up at his best friend. ‘Is it really done for you?’

‘You were the one who hated the thought of mass murder, remember?’ Monty challenged.

Jasper smirked.

‘I changed my mind.’

Silence, but for the mechanical life for the Ark, fell over them. They were both free from the pain of that life and yet trapped as observers.

Sometimes Lincoln doubted his own existence when he looked at Jasper. Was this really him? Or was this Clarke’s projection? Clarke remembered every bad thing people said about her. It helped fuel her to fight for her people, to keep them safe and to maybe one day gain their acceptance. The words cut her deeply. But then, Abby and Bellamy were far more reasonable. They were the closest to Clarke. Lincoln’s doubts plagued his mind. He had to be sure of himself and of them all if they were really going to help the others, and if they had any chance of ascending.

‘I wish we could talk to Clarke,’ Finn muttered in frustration.

‘We’re still with her,’ Kane said kindly.

‘We don’t know what will happen,’ Abby said quietly, ‘maybe we will meet again.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, hope you're all good! Thanks for kudos and comments as always. It was kind of nice to write moody Jasper again. I promise he won't always be like this but after his death, he's obviously going to be a bit resentful of Azgeda. Jasper isn't great at letting go of things as it is!


	166. In Heda's Absence

Clarke sat on her throne, Lexa’s throne beside her remained empty. Clarke tried to ignore the bitter winds outside that were causing the frail drapes to flap wildly behind her. Lexa’s journey back was not going to be a pleasant one. She could only imagine what Murphy was saying right about now.

The weather was worsening by the day. Clarke hoped it would be like their first year on the ground, when Jaha had been so concerned that they would not survive the winter out in the open but the winter proved to be chilly, but not the icy destructive force that everyone had feared. Harsh weather would risk putting a strain on the clans who were most exposed to it, but it would also delay any building efforts. If they were up against the People of the Bunker, then they’d have an enormous task. They had shelter, while the clans were exposed and at the mercy of the elements. Even the Flames couldn’t work their way around that.

The ambassadors had all gathered round. Indra had been summoned too. It had felt a lifetime ago since Clarke had first stepped into Lexa’s tent and Indra had so terrified her. Indra was a great leader who could inspire people. That had been proven during the battles. In some ways, Clarke was reminded of Bellamy. But Indra had been fixed in the role of military leader. She was quick to distrust people, having watched so many of her comrades being slain by reapers, Mountain Men, Azgeda, ALIE and Skaikru. It made brokering new solutions difficult; Indra would always try to argue. Indra always acquiesced to both commanders though, but as frustrated as she knew Lexa got with Indra, Clarke appreciated Indra’s vast knowledge. Few knew these lands like Indra, and few understand the daily gruel of war and battle. Indra could inspire people to follow the most dangerous plan, and they’d all follow her gladly into hell itself. Clarke half envied that quality, but she knew the burden of responsibility that came with it.

Clarke looked across the ambassadors and felt a pang of regret. Things had been stable recently. There were always some tensions between the clans but they had never been more unified, with the exception perhaps of Azleday. Slowly, Clarke explained what was transpiring and their theories behind it. She had already informed the delegate from Azgeda the night before and was not surprised to see him sitting rather bored throughout the conversation. Azgeda seemed to expect the other clans to simply use this as an opportunity to finish them off for good. Clarke knew she had to stamp out any prospect of that.

Indra’s jaw clenched and Clarke did not miss the firm grasp she held onto the hilt of her blade. Clarke had to stop herself rolling her eyes. As fierce as the rivalry was between Trikru and Azgeda still, there was no chance Indra would do anything to Azgeda in the throne room, in Polis and especially not while one of the Commanders was within Azgeda territory. If personal rivalries were going to start ruling the discussion then it would set them all back. Clarke had to keep them on track.

‘We need to prepare,’ Clarke concluded, finally.

‘Prepare?’ Bea asked, the ambassador for Broadleaf and daughter of the skilled war chief Dellire.

‘To unite behind the Flames and prepare for anything that may come against us,’ Clarke urged.

Sankru had confirmed that they couldn’t be certain that nobody from within their clan had disappeared. The desert stretched on for many kilometres. People came and went regularly, and some still hid either thrown into exile or somehow marked as outcasts. The numbers within Sankru were always difficult to decipher.

‘For yet another war?’ The ambassador to Delfikru asked.

Clarke barely stopped a grimace; Delphi had done everything in its power to avoid giving any assistance during any of the troubles thus far. They had the least to fear.

‘We don’t know what we face,’ Clarke emphasised for what felt like the seventh time. ‘But we do know we have at least one group of people who have advanced technology.’

‘And reason to use it against us.’

The Delfikru ambassador was starting to annoy Clarke but she chose to ignore him.

‘We must work together and build up our defences,’ Clarke said. ‘Indra will lead the defensive plans. You will all be in contact with her. We’ll speak again this afternoon.’

Clarke rose, indicating they were dismissed but she inclined her head towards Indra who hung back. The doors closed behind the ambassadors and Indra waited for Clarke to speak.

‘Where’s Octavia?’ Clarke asked.

‘Lincoln’s cave,’ Indra answered and Clarke was taken aback that Octavia would return there and that she herself hadn’t thought to check the cave.

‘She needs to come back for this,’ Clarke insisted.

‘We should wait,’ Indra advised. ‘We should know what we’re bringing her back into first.’

Octavia was one of the best fighters they had, and she had won back much of the respect she had lost when she had served as Chancellor. Yet the ambassadors wouldn’t trust her. The people might, as a leader and someone who wanted to unify, but anyone with any power saw Octavia as someone who would play games with lives because of her own feelings. They didn’t trust her with political responsibility or planning.

‘Okay,’ Clarke agreed, ‘but once we find out more she’s coming back.’

Octavia had to return, Clarke thought. After what had happened in the Bunker, there was no way that Octavia would leave them to face this threat alone.

‘And if it is Azgeda?’ Indra questioned.

Clarke thought she would have broken sooner and asked before now.

‘I don’t think they’d dare after what you did to them,’ Clarke said, trying to smile and reminding Indra of how Trikru held power now. ‘If it’s a few people then they’ll be imprisoned.’

Indra made a noise if displeasure.

‘Blood must not have blood, Indra,’ Clarke reminded her carefully. ‘We both know the threat the Bunker poses.’

‘Then why wait?’ Indra asked. ‘They could have destroyed us all with more ease than with what the Mountain Men did to TonDC.’

‘I don’t know,’ Clarke admitted. ‘I just don’t know. But we will find out.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, hope you're all well! Thank you as ever for any kudos and comments! This was really to set the scene for the upcoming political dynamics and I am going to explore new territories. They're not just going to remain in Azgeda/Trikru/Skaikru areas. Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!


	167. Marked for Death

Miller opened the door to Harper’s small dwelling which she shared with Luci but it was Niylah he saw with the baby in her arms.

‘Hey,’ Miller whispered, ‘where’s Harper gone?’

‘Back to work,’ Niylah said.

‘What?’

‘She said she wouldn’t just sit around and she asked me to look after Luci.’

Miller stared at Niylah, blinking rapidly for a few seconds. He didn’t even know if Harper would be well enough for joining the guard yet. He was sure Jackson had ordered her to take the week at least.

‘Niylah, I’m sorry-’

But Niylah shook her head.

‘With this weather, there are no supply runs to sort. It’s fun getting a quiet day and she’s a cute one,’ Niylah smiled.

‘Yeah, she is,’ Miller agreed.

* * *

 

The flicker of the candles illuminated the cave. Octavia sat up, wrapping the furs around her as she watched Echo spar with an invisible enemy.

'You're dedicated,' Octavia commented.

Octavia watched as Echo slowed, her muscles taunt as she turned to Octavia, steel in her eyes.

'For Azgeda.'

‘To fight Trikru?’ Octavia asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘To win back our pride and fight with the clans,’ Echo replied. ‘We didn’t do this. You know we didn’t take those people.’

Octavia nodded slowly. She’d had a knot of unease in her stomach every day since she had left the Bunker and it was only tightening. She half expected Clarke, Indra or Raven to burst through the entrance to the cave and tell her of their plan. She was sure they’d be working on something by now. Octavia didn’t know if it was a comfort or a worry that they’d not yet forced her to return.

‘Need a partner?’ Octavia offered, wanting to quieten her thoughts.

‘You’d slow me down,’ Echo smirked as she punched the air. ‘You’ve been out in that storm all day.’

‘It wasn’t that bad,’ Octavia commented, getting up and standing opposite Echo.

‘Your choice,’ Echo smirked.

Octavia noticed the cocky twinkle in Echo’s eyes. Octavia lunged forward with her left fist but Echo knew she’d make the move and she jumped to the side with her knee swinging trying to make contact with Octavia’s ribs. Octavia had done this with Echo for far too long though and she was already mid-jump and swung her legs while grabbing Echo so that the blonde haired Azgeda warrior fell to the floor, with Octavia standing above her with raised eyebrows.

‘Told you I wasn’t tired.’

Echo groaned as she lifted herself up. The cave wasn’t the best place to spar. The bruises afterwards were always large and always tender.

‘You think it’s the Bunker, don’t you?’ Octavia said, before Echo could get in position again.

Echo looked hesitant.

‘Well, we thought they’d come back,’ Octavia said.

‘They would have come anyway,’ Echo said, determined. ‘They were waiting for Heda to arrive. If Lexa had never have gone, do you think they would have waited where they were? Especially with the Mountain gone and the war over?’

‘I don’t know,’ Octavia said. ‘Why would they leave?’

‘Haven’t you realised people rarely stay within their borders?’ Echo asked. ‘Look at us.’

Octavia didn’t respond but got ready to fight again, but it was Echo this time who didn’t move.

‘Whoever it is, we’ll win,’ Echo said. ‘Azgeda, Trikru and Skaikru together. No one can challenge us.’

‘We brought this – I brought this,’ Octavia said.

‘No,’ Echo spat. ‘They did for thinking they could ever stand in our way.’

* * *

 

Clarke was glad to be heading out of Raven’s hub. Raven had given her a long list of things they couldn’t do and material they still needed. Clarke had no idea if the missile system was realistic. They could use rocket fuel from bits of Ark which were scattered nobody knew where. It was hardly a good plan. There were other explosive materials but they also needed to test any system they created. They couldn’t have another disaster like the fall of the tower had been. They might have to get creative, Clarke thought.

‘Are you ready to go?’ Loak asked as Clarke stepped back into the passageway.

‘Yeah, back to the tower,’ Clarke said, with utter relief.

They climbed up the few steps and made it back into Polis. Clarke pulled her hood up and hung onto it. The wind was so strong it wouldn’t stay up by itself and it had started to rain, the drop of icy water stinging her exposed hands. She was glad the tower was so close.

There was a loud crack in the distance, and before Clarke heard the first scream of a passerby, she was being thrown on the floor. She hit the pavement hard, and felt the damp soak into her clothes. Before she could spin around, she was being hauled into the tower.

‘Take up positions!’ Loak bellowed, as they were through the entrance and the guards ran to their posts. ‘Assassin! Assassin in the city!’

Loak dropped Wanheda but pulled her along.

‘Let me go, Loak!’ Clarke demanded. ‘I need to find out who it is!’

‘I can’t!’ Loak shouted as he pushed Clarke into her quarters. There guards lining the exits and Clarke could hear commotion in the streets.

‘The Bunker People have guns!’ Clarke spat. ‘If this is them I have to catch them!’

‘No,’ Loak said firmly, although he looked terrified at speaking to Clarke in defiance. ‘The duty to protect you comes above everything. Heda made me swear this. I don’t have a choice.’

Clarke swore loudly. She paced the room, staying away from the windows but she knew now that whoever it was had missed their chance. It had to be the Bunker People; they had guns. Skaikru had destroyed their supply, but if there had been some left and they had gotten into the wrong hands…

It was a poor shot, but then in this weather a bow and arrow wouldn’t have worked well and from that distance. There would be many who would want to see Wanheda fall by a bullet.

‘What about Raven?’ Clarke asked, alarmed; if Raven had heard anything then she would have run straight outside.

‘A guard ran down to check but she didn’t come out of the hub by the time I got you to the tower. She was inside and safe the whole time,’ Loak answered and Clarke allowed herself a flicker of relief.

Clarke sat down on the sofa, leaning her elbows on her knees as she ran through who the person could have been. She wanted the guards to hurry up. It was dangerous them even running after someone with a gun. A blade and a spear could not compete with a bullet. It was why Lexa had wanted their destruction.

Clarke was half surprised she could still feel the adrenaline flooding through her. She should be used to being near death. Perhaps she had forgotten and grown lazy. She knew people were disappearing, and yet this had been allowed to happen right in the heart of Polis. She felt anger swell at herself. She was supposed to protect the city, especially after everything that happened. She sat back on the sofa, crossing her arms and her leg twitched, her nerves showing but she didn’t care. She hated waiting. She wanted to find out what was going on herself.

It was another half an hour before the head guard returned and told her the would-be assassin had escaped. She thanked both he and Loak and asked to be alone. She didn’t miss their disappointed looks as though they had failed. She pulled out her radio from her pocket and stared at it in anguish. She didn’t know how to tell Lexa this over the radio, or if Lexa would even be able to hear with the storm, but she and Murphy needed warning. For all Clarke knew, they could be targets too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry this has been slow but I've been swamped with work! Hope you enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> There is a plan for way beyond season three but I wanted to start from 307 and try to show that Lexa 100% didn't need to die as part of the plot. It's going to be dark, there will be characters at risk (but no dead lesbians, I swear) and it won't all be neat and tidy but I think that's meant to be the point. We can have a great and complicated story that doesn't resort to offensive tropes.


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